Top 50 Pokémon: Rainbow Rocket blasts off again!

[Mogri]

Ah yes, the perennial "someone wrote this into the first game when they had no inkling that they were starting a decades-long story with its own internal lore and world". Happens to the best of franchises.

In this case, though, it appeared as late as Fire Red in gen 3!

 

[RT-55J]

What do they call South America nowadays? South Unova?

 

[Kirin]

I doubt we'll see anything official until we someday get a game set in Poke-Brazil or something, but since we're just about to get Poke-Spain that may be a long time coming.

 

[Kirin]

37th (tie)
#635 Hydreigon
Brutal Pokémon
Dark / Dragon
First Discovered: Unova Region (Gen V, Black/White)
Score: 63 - Votes: 2 - Highest vote: 1st (Falselogic)​

The heads on their arms do not have brains. They use all three heads to consume and destroy everything.

Everyone knows about Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, but not as many know about Deino, Zweilous, Hydreigon. Other than that, what can I say about the Brutal Pokémon? While the introduction of the Fairy type has certainly done it no favors, it remains an extremely intimidating opponent with a strong competitive presence. Of course, you’ll always have to watch out for a strong Dark Pulse or Draco Meteor from a Hydreigon, but beyond that, it offers such strong coverage moves as Flamethrower, Flash Cannon, Earth Power, and Surf. Very few Pokémon can safely switch into this monster.

Just the sort of brutality that Team Rocket should be bringing to the battlefield.

Dragons are always special, and each time there’s a new twice-evolving dragon from a new generation it tends to be *very* rare for quite a while, making it hard to evolve the final form, until several years later it finally gets a Community Day event that makes it briefly plentiful. Hydreigon here just got its CD recently, which also gave it the very good charge move Brutal Swing, suddenly making it one of the best Dark attackers around. It’s now up there with the big guns like Darkrai and Yveltal. Also I love the German puns in its family names.

It's King Ghidorah but a Pokemon!

 

[RT-55J]

In retrospect, I'm unsurprised that Falselogic voted for a Pokemon that could be described as "triple dargon" for their number 1.

 

[JBear]

Do I have to feed all three mouths? I'm not made of treats. Also, no part of that looks safe for petting.

 

[Falselogic]

I originally fell in love with the first form of this 'mon, Deino, is an adorable little monster. Just look at his mop top?!

I knew I was truly in love when he evolved into basically my fav baddie kaiju, king ghidorah. Just all around great lad. Spiky bits and all.

 

[Kirin]

37th (tie)
#206 Dunsparce
Land Snake Pokémon
Normal
First Discovered: Johto Region (Gen II, Gold/Silver)
Score: 63 - Votes: 2 - Highest vote: 3rd (Peklo)​

It digs into the ground with its tail and makes a mazelike nest. It can fly just a little.

Oh! It's Dunsparce! This is certainly an unconventional choice from Guzma, but I'm betting his opponents haven't faced the Land Snake Pokémon in a tournament setting before, and that unfamiliarity could work to his advantage. Of course, you have to be aware of the Defense Curl/Rollout combo when facing a Dunsparce, but some of our competitors might be surprised to learn that Dunsparce can recover with Roost and pack a variety of potent moves including Flamethrower, Blizzard, and Drill Run.

Getting your foes to let their guard down is a time-honored Rocket tactic.

Dunsparce hasn't exactly been competitive in either PvE or PvP, but it's well-liked, being a rather rare spawn with a cool shiny. The recent addition of new-to-GO Rollout to its move-set may make it usable in some GBL formats. There's fan demand for an evolution or Mega form, but the main games have yet to deliver. Anyone in the audience from Paldea? I hear they might know something…

 

[Mogri]

With each new generation, everyone is sure that this is the one where Dunsparce will get an evolution. It's never happened yet, but rumors abound for gen 9 once again.

 

[RT-55J]

cute snek

i approve

 

[conchobhar]

tsuchinoko real

 

[Peklo]

It would be tough for perfection to evolve.

 

[Mogri]

36th
#110 Galarian Weezing
Poison Gas Pokémon
Poison / Fairy
First Discovered: Kanto Region (Gen I, Red/Blue/Green)
Score: 64 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 6th (JBear)​

This Pokémon consumes particles that contaminate the air. Instead of leaving droppings, it expels clean air.

Well, hello! This dapper fellow has carved a niche for itself in three ways: first, its Neutralizing Gas ability, exclusive to Weezing but shared between its Kantonian and Galarian forms, which cancels out all other abilities; second, its signature Fairy move Strange Steam, a strong attack that has a chance to confuse; and third, Clear Smog, a weak Poison-type move that is common to many Poison-type Pokémon which clears out all its target’s stat changes. That quirky trio is just tempting enough to earn Galarian Weezing a spot on a handful of competitive teams despite its middling bulk and low offensive presence.

It cleans up pollution? That goes entirely against the Rocket ethos!

So as usual, we don’t get all those fancy ability and status hijinks, but G-Weez’s funky type combo still makes it interesting, and the addition of the desperately needed new Fairy-type fast move Fairy Wind in addition to Overheat and Play Rough has made it a spicy pick in some battle formats. Plus it just looks fun. As a Galarian variant when we don’t even have most of Gen 8 yet, it’s only been available through raids and a few special events.

I can't believe that I'm voting for Weezing, but I can't not vote for a robber baron Pokemon. Just look at his stovepipe hat!

Over for a spot of tea and pollution.

 

[Kirin]

G-Weez also has a bit of interesting historical trivia in GO that I didn't want to clutter the main post with, in that I'm pretty sure it got Niantic into trouble with the The Pokemon Company. As part of a promotional blitz for Sword and Shield, our stove-piped friend here was set to release in GO as a Gen8 tease a few days before the main games dropped. The catch here is that there was a minor bug in GO's Pokedex where if you had a shiny of a certain Pokemon, then in the dex you could also see the shiny of any alternate formes of that Pokemon as long as you'd caught a regular one, even if the shiny was not yet released. The result was GO inadvertently revealed the look of a new shiny before its game was even released.

The main game folks evidently had something to say about that, because the next time around, when Hisuian Voltorb got a release in GO as a promo for the release of Pokemon Legends Arceus, not only was the dex fixed, but the unreleased shiny asset was totally blacked out in the game's data so it couldn't even be data-mined. No more pre-street-date shiny reveals for us.

 

[pudik]

haven't seen this one, pretty cool. Probably would have made my list if i had (pretty much half my list is poison anyway)

 

[RT-55J]

we stan the carbon-neutral industrialist pokemon

(idly wondering rn if yesterday's pick is the last one with only two voters, or if we're gonna see a one where two voters both put it in the top 3 or higher)

 

[Falselogic]

I never realized until now that Galarian Weezing was cleaning up the air?! He's a good Victorian Robber Baron?! *monocle falls off*

 

[Rascally Badger]

I did not remember Galarian Weezing existed. A+ mon. Should have been on my list

 

[Kirin]

34th (tie)
#865 Sirfetch’d
Wild Duck Pokémon
Fighting
First Discovered: Galar Region (Gen VIII, Sword/Shield)
Score: 65 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 11th (WildcatJF)​

Only Farfetch'd that have survived many battles can attain this evolution. When this Pokémon's leek withers, it will retire from combat.

Galar graced Farfetch’d with a regional variant, and that regional variant evolves into this fine fowl upon landing three critical hits in a single battle. The other very important thing to know about Sirfetch’d is that its Japanese name is Negigaknight. The German name is pretty good, too: Lauchzelot, which roughly translates to “Leekselot.” Like its previous form, Sirfetch’d can use the Leek held item to greatly boost its odds of critical hits, and while it’s got the unexpected Fighting type in Galar, it has Scrappy, allowing it to hit Ghost-type foes. Sirfetch’d also gets a wide array of powerful off-type moves such as Brave Bird, Poison Jab, Leaf Blade, and First Impression that make it hard to switch into. While Sirfetch’d has an amazing Attack stat, its weaknesses lie in its low Speed and HP. It can often be KO’d before getting a chance to swing that mighty leek.

It’s also really good with a nice orange sauce.

Ah, another Gen VIII preview ‘mon! We were a bit worried about this one, because regular old Kanto Farfetch’d is a regional exclusive to Japan (although it’s been seen worldwide in a few special events by now), but the Galarian variety has seen wide distribution through raids and occasionally other events. Sirfetch’d’s powerful fighting moves and wide coverage have earned it a place in GBL play. Since we don’t have critical hits in GO land, though, it instead evolves by being your buddy while you land ten Excellent throws on wild Pokemon.

 

[Kirin]

Nobody has anything to say about big bro leek-duck? I remember thinking when I first saw it that the lance and shield fashioned out of a single giant leek was a brilliant bit of design.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Nobody has anything to say about big bro leek-duck? I remember thinking when I first saw it that the lance and shield fashioned out of a single giant leek was a brilliant bit of design.

Well, if you insist...

My choices were (unevenly) split between "cute" and "rad" along with a scant few that I sort of considered both

I had Sirfetch'd at #14 on my list. I like Farfetch'd but I like this regional variant much more. Sir was one of the mons that I had a hard time deciding if it was more rad or cute. (Both? was the answer that I was left with.)

The "biology" of it is also pretty interesting (even if it isn't really relative to the gameplay).

And even though I ultimately placed it in the middle of my list, Sir was the last mon to make it into my final list. It had a lot of stiff competition...

(Also, that German name for it is awesome.)

 

[Mogri]

That’s it for Guzma’s team, which means we’re due for a new challenger.

Oh, it’s… uh, who is this again?

This is the leader of Galar’s Team Yell. I think his name is Pierce or something.

Was that an actual criminal organization? I thought it was a bunch of rowdy groupies.

What? Are you sure?

I mean, I think so. The leader of Team Yell is a gym leader named Piers. Outside of Kanto, I don’t think there’s a league on the planet that would appoint a criminal mastermind as a gym leader.

Well, this is embarrassing. Mental note: find out who recruited this goon and figure out an appropriate punishment.

Anyway, it could be me, but Piers doesn’t look thrilled to be here. Let’s meet his team!

34th (tie)
#051 Dugtrio
Mole Pokémon
Ground
First Discovered: Kanto Region (Gen I, Red/Blue/Green)
Score: 65 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 10th (Adrenaline)​

Despite the closeness between this Pokémon and farmers and other people, no one has ever seen the parts of it concealed underground.

Piers leads off with Dugtrio! Dugtrio is a staple in singles matches due to its fantastic Speed and Attack along with the Arena Trap ability that prevents grounded opponents from switching out. This makes Dugtrio an amazing option for cleaning up low-health Pokémon. In doubles formats like this one, Dugtrio tends to be less popular due to its complete inability to take a hit. For reference, Magikarp is only slightly frailer than Dugtrio, and Diglett is significantly frailer than Magikarp.

He’s sucking up, right? Everyone knows I run Dugtrio on my team.

Dugtrio is a cute weirdo, but even back when we only had Kanto Pokemon it was overshadowed as a Ground type by things like Golem and Rhydon; without abilities or even speed stat in GO, there’s nothing to make it stand out. I see we have at least one supporter in the crowd for the Alolan variant, which is pretty fun with its surfer hair, though even the addition of Steel type hasn’t made it show up much in Battle League.

Siblings, friends, or polyamorous? The debate rages on.

 

[RT-55J]

I can't believe I forgot one of the fourth options here: they could be members of a loosely-federated anatcho-syndicalist commune.

So many possibilities with these silly fellas.

 

[JBear]

I see we have at least one supporter in the crowd for the Alolan variant, which is pretty fun with its surfer hair

I will forever stan for three heads full of luscious blond locks for petting.

 

[Adrenaline]

I voted for Dugtrio because there's something existentially horrifying about a Pokemon evolution causing it to grow additional heads.

 

[Mogri]

32nd (tie)
#540 Sewaddle
Sewing Pokémon
Bug / Grass
First Discovered: Unova Region (Gen V, Black/White)
Score: 66 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 5th (Ixo)​

This Pokémon makes clothes for itself. It chews up leaves and sews them with sticky thread extruded from its mouth.

Oh, it’s Sewaddle! I, uh… I have to admit, I’m stumped on this one. Leavanny is already pretty niche, and offhand, I can’t think of any reason you wouldn’t at least evolve to Swadloon. Perhaps Piers has a secret strategy we’ve overlooked.

Ehh? What’s this about?

Um, yeah, it’s cute? But hey, let’s talk about rarity in GO for a second, which usually has nothing to do with how common a Pokemon is over here. Back in the day we used to discover nealy entire generations out in the wild all at once, but that wasn’t exactly sustainable, so these days we usually find new species one or two at a time during some themed event or other. Sometimes they enter common rotation after that, but other times they all but disappear. The latter was the case with Sewaddle, which appeared during an Unova-themed event in Summer of 2020, but then became extremely scarce, making it difficult to evolve Leavanny. It does finally seem to have come back as a wild spawn just this Fall, though.

 

[RT-55J]

I like those lil fangs.

 

[Mogri]

32nd (tie)
#137 Porygon
Virtual Pokémon
Normal
First Discovered: Kanto Region (Gen I, Red/Blue/Green)
Score: 66 - Votes: 2 - Highest vote: 1st (Issun)​

It has no discernible heartbeat and does not seem to draw breath, and yet it appears to function without issue. I cannot even begin to explain this utterly bizarre anomaly.

Hey, Giovanni, I need to check something. What restrictions did you put on the Pokémon that trainers could bring to this tournament?

Well, they had to steal them from other trainers, of course. Other than that, it was pretty wide open.

So if you were, for some reason, a law-abiding citizen…

I don’t like where this is headed.

Right. Well, Porygon2 and Porygon-Z are enormous threats in any format. Porygon2 in particular is popular with Eviolite. It actually loses defensive stats when evolving to Porygon-Z, and Porygon2 already beats Mew in terms of Sp. Attack. Porygon-Z is far stronger still, but it’s comparatively frail, and the entire Porygon line has access to Recover, which the bulky Eviolite Porygon2 is better positioned to use. Porygon-Z is notable for its Adaptability ability, which makes its Tri Attack hit harder than a Necrozma’s Hyper Beam. As for this weird duck? Porygon is a force to be reckoned with in Little Cup, but this isn’t Little Cup.

I really don’t like where this is headed.

Porygon here is the only thing in GO that requires two different evolution items to evolve. Both 2 and Z can be spicy picks in some battle formats, but not as much so as over here. The best value I found for them is shoving them into this weird trans-dimensional space called Home, where I can trade ‘em to you folks who value them for all the shenanigans mentioned by our main host just now! Got me some good Gen VIII Pokémon that don’t exist in our world yet that way.

because when I finally got around to playing Red 6 years ago, I used game genie to get a level 91 Porygon and steamrolled almost everything

Somebody please explain: Why was this even in Legends: Arceus?

 

[RT-55J]

My heart almost skipped a beat until I remembered that I did vote for this precious Virtual Bird.

Somebody please explain: Why was this even in Legends: Arceus?

porygami

 

[Beta Metroid]

In Smash 64, I love how it comes barreling out of the "Pokemon door" at about 120 mph to bash the head in of any unsuspecting combatant, yelling this indiscernible noise as it does so (the second-weirdest Pokemon cry in Smash 64, after whatever it is Hitmonlee's saying).