• Welcome to Talking Time's third iteration! If you would like to register for an account, or have already registered but have not yet been confirmed, please read the following:

    1. The CAPTCHA key's answer is "Percy"
    2. Once you've completed the registration process please email us from the email you used for registration at percyreghelper@gmail.com and include the username you used for registration

    Once you have completed these steps, Moderation Staff will be able to get your account approved.

  • TT staff acknowledge that there is a backlog of new accounts that await confirmation.

    Unfortunately, we are putting new registrations on hold for a short time.

    We do not expect this delay to extend beyond the first of November 2020, and we ask you for your patience in this matter.

    ~TT Moderation Staff

Movie Time 2.0: TT mini reviews

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Sartana and the Shadow of Death

So I saw there was a whole spaghetti western series called Sartana, so I thought I'd check out one of them that was on Prime. I was disappointed with how cheap it looked and it being mostly perfunctory. Then I went onto wikipedia and found out that Italy made a number of Sartana movies but even a GREATER number of non-official Sartana movies. Turns out the characters Sartana and Django, while apparently having copyrights, are characters that people use as if they WERE in the public domain and I guess no one bothered and "Shadow of Death" is one of those films. The official Sartana films sound trashy and fun: he is always tricking factions into killing each other a la A Fistful of Dollars, there are 80 kills of a 90 minute films, he sets up death traps and at one point GETS A ROBOT. IN THE OFFICIAL SERIES. I imagine it isn't a wisecracking Johnny 5 but still... Man, I have to see these True Sartana's.

BTW, I chose the Sartana with the most boring title. Here are the official Sartana titles.

  • If You Meet Sartana Pray for Your Death
  • I Am Sartana Your Angel of Death (this is the most boring one)
  • I Am Sartana, Trade Your Guns for a Coffin
  • Have a Good Funeral, My Friend... Sartana Will Pay
  • Light the Fuse... Sartana Is Coming
Even the unofficial ones have some great titles

  • One Damned Day at Dawn... Django Meets Sartana!
  • Django and Sartana Are Coming... It's the End
  • Sartana Kills Them All
  • Let's Go and Kill Sartana (Sartana doesn't even appear in this one)
  • Trinity and Sartana... Those Dirty S.O.B.s
  • Alleluja & Sartana Are Sons... Sons of God
 

Bongo

excused from moderation duty
(he/him)
Staff member
So I've been looking forward to "Zack Snyder's Justice League," and also to "Godzilla vs. Kong," and in anticipation of those I decided to arrange me an HBO Max subscription. And I was browsing the offerings, and I was like - lordy bagordy, they got Kurosawa flicks on this thing!

In short order I was testing it out with "Ikiru" (1952), reputed as one of the master's masterpieces. It's a rather sentimental film, as is expected and appropriate when the story is about a man who learns he has only months to live and realizes that his life up until then had been meaningless. The structure, however, was unexpected and novel, when halfway through it abruptly jumps ahead to the protagonist's funeral and tells the rest in flashbacks as mourners ponder his final acts.

It's the craft of it all that I loved best, though. Earlier in my life I would not have appreciated the artistry evident in the framing and pacing of each and every scene, no matter how mundane. The motion, the tension! Akira Kurosawa was simply the best.
 

Purple

(She/Her)
Wolfcop- A hidden gem of a movie that simultaneously manages to be exactly what the title conveys, but also manages to have a rather shockingly well thought-out plot, with lots of payoffs and twists and reasons to get invested in the characters.

Another Wolfcop- Not that.

Like, I didn't hate it. I don't regret watching it. But... nothing that ever gets set up pays off. Scenes just kinda happen. Characters just sort of exist.

There's a big fight scene with a robot in a strip club. Why was that robot in the strip club? They make a big deal out of fixing it after, but then it never shows up again.

There's this whole thing with like, enough monster babies to wipe out the whole population of the town, and they start attacking, and then... that scene is just kind of over.

There's a main villain, towards the end he just kinda leaves?

There's a main villain's right hand tough gal goon. And... no real like big confrontation with her.

The one thing they really did right was they brought back the protagonist's weird crude conspiracy nut friend, despite him very definitely being dead by the end of the first one which also just kinda happens because of a weird big plot hole, but, you know, I'll take it.

Also they gave the ol' college try to topping the sex scene in the first one but... that scene worked because it was actually properly set up and played totally straight. This... felt like it was out of the Austin Powers sequels in the execution.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Zatoichi the Fugitive

I guess Zatoichi is technically a fugitive in this one but he spends no time on the run if that's what you are looking for. This one is a bit of a disappointment. The villain isn't as interesting this time out. The last two where Zatoichi's one armed brother who was also his love rival and then his mentor who turned out to be a hypocritical shit compared to Ichi's would be assassin, who starts shitty but has surprising compassion. This time its a guy who respects him but wants to kill him and I feel like we've been there. Still, I like the lead a lot.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Thanks to Purple reminding me that I had the original Wolfcop on my queue, I sat down and watched Wolfcop.

Kind of feel like she enjoyed it more than I did, but I did quite enjoy myself with this tale of a willwhorf who is also a cop. S’like if Troma made Robocop.

It also ended with a rap that summarized the plot, objectively the best way to end a movie.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
I feel like anyone who is on the Discord when I watch a movie can tell you, it's very clear when I like what I'm watching. To that end, I just watched Beyond Skyline. The unexpectedly excellent sequel to the original Skyline, a movie which I liked, but the vast majority of people did not. Or simply didn't watch it. And while I liked this one even more, it also couldn't be less similar in tone or content. Much of it actually feels like a (much better) second run at the Independence Day sequel.

The first... quarter or so of the film is a recap of the original movie, from a different set of character perspectives (even reusing some of the same shots), which leads you to assume it's a low-budget rehash of the original (complete with the hallmark of low-budget sci-fi horror; aliens who are constantly off camera and in shadow). And then, like a switch were flipped, the movie changes into COMPLETELY different gear, with a rag-tag group of heroes trying to escape a bio-horror alien ship, before crashing into a mob cartel in Laos where they team up with drug-runners after discovering that one of their number has a weird power to subvert and control alien tech, and then it becomes a full on action movie with the Laotian Mob versus Aliens, culminating in a huge sequel hook, and a rock-song over a blooper-reel for the end-credits.

The movie is just relentlessly fun, the visuals are amazing for the budget (lots of instances of the aliens in full view broad daylight, letting you take in their full appearance (more of them are Guys in Suits than the original, but they're really cool looking suits, and there's still a lot of giant CG monsters), and the movies giger-esque bio-mechanical aesthetics look incredible. Even the characters who barely affect the plot manage to steal the show; a particular standout being one of the Crime Guys who never gets named, never puts on a shirt and just screams a lot while swinging machetes at people.

Absolutely loved it; can't recommend the movie enough.

Now I'm all geared up to watch the conclusion!
 

jpfriction

A most radical pontiff
Watched Tenet exactly how Chris Nolan wanted me to: on a tiny airplane screen broken up across two flights a day apart because it was too damn long.

Pretty good! Kept my attention throughout. I think I prefer Memento for my Nolan time related mindfucks. Some stuff got pretty silly Nah man, see Fire makes you cold in backwards time world. That’ll have almost no bearing on the plot whatsoever. .

Had another hour and a half to kill on flight two so watched Booksmart again as a palate cleanser. Still great. Didn’t have it in me to watch the awkward sex scene again though so that got skipped.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Watched Big Ass Spider, a 2014 horror-comedy featuring... well... a big-ass spider.

Say what you will of the movie, but it delivers what it advertises.

The comedy doesn’t really ever land (a lot more jokes about the thick accent of the goofy comic relief character than I’d like), but it moves at a lightning fast clip and the CG on the giant spider is surprisingly good considering the movies budget. And at a lean 80 minutes it doesn’t overstay it’s welcome.

Nothing I’d urge others to go out and see (mainly because of aforesaid Accent Humour, it was 2014, we knew better by then), but sometimes you aren’t in the mood for a steak, you’re in the mood for a handful of Slim Jim’s.

Absurd amount of product placement for the Western Exterminator Conpany, too.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
I decided to watch the only ACTUALLY OFFICIAL Sartana movie on Prime, Have a Good Funeral, My Friend... Sartana Will Pay.

Its still cheap looking and lacking a lot of the style of Sergio Leone but it is still a much better movie and is fun from stem to stern than the off-brand Sartana movie. The premise is a bunch of baddies kill an old prospector on his land, so Sartana kills them and looks into the conspiracy as to who wanted him dead and why. Of course, the answer is his land but that's not a reveal so much as a foregone conclusion. And its also pretty obvious who is responsible. But the real fun is the baddies sending assassins after Sartana, who murders them in kind and, as a running theme in the movie, pays top dollar for his victims funerals. Its a fun cheapy and much more of what I was hoping for. Still no robot, though.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Battle Beyond the Stars is a remake of Magnificent Seven made by Roger Corman that also serves as a Star Wars knockoff.

I feel like that sentence alone should tell you whether or not it’s worth watching to you.

Robert Vaughn is in it, playing the exact same character he did in Magnificent Seven, and... George Peppard is also there playing a guy named Space Cowboy. The credits seem to think George Peppard was the bigger draw

Apparently Kathy Griffin was there too, stealing the show as “Alien (uncredited)”
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Pooh's Heffalump Movie

In my quest to watch all the "released in theatres" Disney animated movies on Disney Plus, I finish my push through the nadir of the Winnie the Pooh movies. There's one left but I'm told its actually pretty solid. This is not. Its not even that this or the Piglet movie are bad, they are just kind of dull and despite the cast's efforts, it lacks the charm of the first film. The word play isn't as fun and its just not very clever in a pretty basic "different people aren't bad" story. Good message but dull movie and I am increasingly unhappy with the music in these films, which oscillate from treacly to treacly and also there for a montage to sell the soundtrack. I mean, its what I was expecting but I'll say its never as bad as it could have been, simply dull.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
I meant to do a Post-moretm on my own Every Canon Disney Movie Watch when I finish each decade, but I forgot to. AND SO; my short thoughts of the entire work of the 1940s:

Pinocchio is the only movie I genuinely enjoyed
Some of the shorts in the compilation movies were okay, most were dreadfully boring.
More movies had Racism Apologies than did not, but fortunately, it was usually only a milder "Grandpa doesn't know any better" rather than things actively caustic.
Except Dumbo, that movie constitutes a hate-crime.
I'm still mad at that stupid conductor for getting dinosaur facts wrong.

Final score for decade 5/10, I see little hope for this company continuing. Needs more murderous witches and fewer cowboys.

AND SO, on to the 1950s, with Cinderella. A MUCH better take on making a cartoon out of a stock fairy tale than Snow White was.
Far more Critter Antics than anticipated
Lady Tremaine was a very effective villain, considering her entire reason for being is to be Continuously Mad at An Orphan
She also expresses delight in shredding a dress literally made by rats
Fairy Godmother has far less of a presence than expected, especially by Deus Ex Machina Lady standards for a Disney movie
Magic can create, but not destroy, glass?
All the rats become horses, and all the horses become guys. I feel like a step could have been saved here.
I am wearing slippers right now; those are not slippers. And glass is antithetical to the slipper-wearing experience. This fairy is garbage.
Also, hey, Fairy, why didn't you help with HER DAD DYING. Shredding a rat-dress is enough of a tragedy for you to come in but not LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE?
Man, now I'm mad at the fairy godmother more than anything else.
The Princes dad is a dangerous man, Cinderella nearly dodged a bullet by losing her chance to be related to him.

8/10, lots of music in this, since it's technically a musical, and none of it is any good, but it's a huge step up from everything they made in the decade preceding.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Aint gonna lie, I was let down by Palm Springs. But that’s more on my expectations than any failing with the movie itself. I was expecting more of a laugh-a-minute yuks-em-up, and less of a dramedy with a focus on the drama bits.

Honestly, one of the lesser Time Loop stories, for me, not that it didnt have its charms
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
As is traditional in the Octohouse for Easter Weekend, I watched an Alien movie, specifically, 2004s widely derided Alien vs. Predator.

And... I did not hate it? In fact, I thought it was pretty good? Way better than most canon Alien and Predator movies, certainly.

Kind of had some La Mulana vibes, too, though I'm pretty sure the movie came first; buncha explorers find out about, and then start to explore, a weird ancient temple buried under the South Pole except that WHOOPS, there's Xenomorphs at the bottom, and Predators coming down from the top and they're caught in the middle.

Seemed rude to leave Surviving Girl alone in the middle of Antarctica without a jacket, Predators. Especially since she just took down a Xenomorph Queen. You have a space-ship! It's not hard to drop her off somewhere that's at least land-locked!. I didn't know that being the perfect hunter means you need perfect Rudeness.
 
She can freeze! She immorally conspired with the wicked predators against a chained up, tortured animal who was defending herself and in helping a predator escaped doomed a town in the sequel. From a certain perspective, the duology is a pro-animal rights... piece, if not masterpiece.

Anyway, this movie is fun to watch right after Resident Evil because it is, you know, a lot like Resident Evil. (those 3D holographic maps) I wouldn’t say it’s better than most Alien movies for me but I do like it more than any other Predators.

This is my primary association with Sanaa Lathan. I wish her the best....
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Checking her IMDB she is also Clevelands wife in Family Guy and also Catwoman on Harley Quinn. She was also on a two-parter of Moesha
 
They even have the same actor getting diced into chunks!
I forgot about that but yes, lmao
Checking her IMDB she is also Clevelands wife in Family Guy and also Catwoman on Harley Quinn. She was also on a two-parter of Moesha
I’ve heard a lot about her in Love and Basketball, which I’ve never seen. Also she had a kind of weird/funny Beyoncé-related news cycle a few years ago. (Something about biting?)
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
I only remember disliking the AvP sequel, for some reason that escapes me now, but yeah the first one was a decently enjoyable time! The comparison to Resident Evil is great lmao, perfect double feature imo.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
The whole time I was watching it, I was thinking "this feels very familiar to... something" and then the directors name popped up and I said "OH!"
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Also;

Not a fan of dripping Xenomorphs. They're already unpleasant enough to look at all on their own; having them all look like they just got out of the shower is kind of silly.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Zatoichi on the Road

Another Zatoichi tale, this time with Ichi protecting a young woman on her way home while also being roped into a yakuza war against his will. This is the fifth movie and the character is still great, but I feel like it is falling into a formula. The first three I liked because it was digging into more personal adventures but here he's making a friend while fighting the baddies and trying to manipulate them. But the latter bit feels like a less thought out Red Harvest. Still fine but I'm hoping for the series to get a shake up now that there's a formula.
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
There are other movies from the decade that are very strong contenders, but I feel Rocky IV is the most 80s movie that was ever made.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Rocky 4 is not a movie I’ve seen, but am aware of its reputation... and I don’t think I can refute your claims
 

Tegan

dirtbag lesbian
(She/Her)
Wolfwalkers is fantastic. Beautifully-animated too. Right up there with Wolf Children in the pantheon of gorgeous animated werewolf movies.
 

Tegan

dirtbag lesbian
(She/Her)
Arrival is exactly the sort of energy I've always wanted out of a first contact movie. I really love it when stories are about solving a problem and not actual direct conflict.
 
We finally watched The Last Blockbuster, the documentary that started filming when there were only 12 stores left then ended up focusing on the final store in Bend.

I'm biased since I live in Bend and go in that store (and have a bottle of the beer they mention in my pantry), and even with my bias it's a resoundingly okay documentary. But the decision to focus on the manager Sandi was really smart. She's interesting and driven and the scene where they show her hand-knitting the beanies people order really touched me. Worth streaming, and uh, if you want to see the Target where I couldn't get Amiibo cards a couple weeks ago it shows her buying DVDs there! If you're a big Blockbuster fan there's a physical edition too.
 
Top