Johnny Unusual Ate This - A near-weekly series of terrible mistakes

[Torzelbaum]

What? Not a fan of Bazooka Joe's "humor"?

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

If I ever see something humorous from them, I'll let you know.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Did they ever tell us how Joe lost his eye? Was it gum-related

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Spider Sugar Raspberry Jelly Donut Fudge

Excited for this.

Oh, this was VERY accurate in flavour. It was pretty great.

Spider Sugar Cookies and Cream Cotton Candy

Even more excited!

This also was a great approximation of an oreo.

Gummy Spicy Mango

Wow, this week is exciting!

These were my favourite, though. Best of the week. If you find gummi spicy mango and you like mango, gummies and the tiniest bit of spice, you are in a good place here! High recommend.

Yummy Miami Strawberry

Less interesting but... I did like the last one.

I just don't like strawberry sodas. Not as much as the pineapple (though usually I don't like those much either)

Dubble Bubble

Oh.. like Bazooka Joe? But... not?

This DID come with a comic!

Um... starring "PUD".

An Deas Assorted Flavours Candy

Oh... coloured candies.

Pretty much what I expected. Fine.

Dole Tropical Splash Drink Mix

Yeah, some... not-fruit fruit juice.

This was a bit of a surprise. No strong feelings but they actually didn't bother to add food colouring so the colour is kind of just... cloudy water. Tasted OK though.

Caramel Corn

HEY! THE SLUMP IS OVER. Yeah, it's not special but caramel corn is a perfect comfort food.

Doesn't disappoint.

Mirage Quality Sticks

Wait... more candy cigarettes?

This did, though. Not real chocolate. Will now be only used to flavour my oatmeal.

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

This DID come with a comic!

Um... starring "PUD".

About as funny as I'd expect from BJ, but at least it's kinda wholesome.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Thursday...

An Deas Lemon Candies

Like the assorted candies but with a narrow focus. Lemon is pretty great, though.

Dole Strawberry Pineapple drink mix

The last one was OK. No frills but I kind of respect it (including not bothering with food colouring).

Big League Chew Bubble gumballs

It's weird since the point is to seem like chewing tobacco but that feels like barely a think in baseball now.

Jumbo Circus Pop

It's probably just fine but I gotta say that colours are aesthetically pleasing.

Yummy Miami Black Cherry

Hopeful for this. Did like pineapple, indifferent to strawberry.

Picard's Chip Nuts Bacon and Cheddar

The others were OK. Bacon probably helps a bit.

Sugar Spider Banana Split Cotton Candy

Oh, I like that it seems to contain TWO DIFFERENT (or at least differently coloured) cotton candies to go together.

Sugar Spider Peaches and Cream Fudge

Its getting cooler so I'm trying to get all the summery flavours I can before it gets chilly.

Kitkat Chunky Cookie Dough

Kitkat rarely disappoints.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

An Deas Lemon Candies

Like the assorted candies but with a narrow focus. Lemon is pretty great, though.

Yeah, just OK lemon drops

Dole Strawberry Pineapple drink mix

The last one was OK. No frills but I kind of respect it (including not bothering with food colouring).

OK drink mix

Big League Chew Bubble gumballs

It's weird since the point is to seem like chewing tobacco but that feels like barely a think in baseball now.

OK gum... but it works better in shredded form.

Jumbo Circus Pop

It's probably just fine but I gotta say that colours are aesthetically pleasing.

Not great. Fun colours that disappear quickly and it's just a generic lolli.

Yummy Miami Black Cherry

Hopeful for this. Did like pineapple, indifferent to strawberry.

Not bad but the pineapple one is the only one that stood out so far.

Picard's Chip Nuts Bacon and Cheddar

The others were OK. Bacon probably helps a bit.

IT'S FINE!

Sugar Spider Banana Split Cotton Candy

Oh, I like that it seems to contain TWO DIFFERENT (or at least differently coloured) cotton candies to go together.

This is decent. I like it's actually just 1 half portion banana cotton candy and 1 half strawberry cotton candy. Not REALLY banana split but still solid classic flavours.

Sugar Spider Peaches and Cream Fudge

Its getting cooler so I'm trying to get all the summery flavours I can before it gets chilly.

This is a really good fudge too. Really the only let down so far was that "monkey something or other" that had little banana taste.

Kitkat Chunky Cookie Dough

Kitkat rarely disappoints.

Kitkat is good. Pretty solid!

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Tomorrow

An Deas Butterscotch Candies

Was never really my bag but I don't dislike butterscotches, so let's go.

Dunkaroos Vanilla Frosting

Now with MORE RAINBOW SPRINKLES! Because people were really pissed about how they fucked up the last time on the rainbow sprinkle front.

Yummy Miami Mango

I wonder how many Florida fruits we have left to go through.

Gummi Bubblegum Bottles

I feel we are lost in the gummi weeds, here.

Sugar Spider Cookies n Cream Fudge

This feels like a slam dunk

Sugar Spider Blueberry Pie Fudge

I wanted to do a cotton candy and a fudge every week but they rain out of cotton candy flavours I haven't tried... so far.

Kool-Aid Tropical Punch

I think I'm nearly out of Kool-Aids I haven't tried yet.

KitKat Chunky Drumstick

Curious if I'll even know that it is supposed to taste like ice cream.

Gum-e Green Apple Bubble Paste

 

[Daikaiju]

A can of frrosting? What will the dip medium be?
Also, kinda weird they'd market it under the Dunkaroos name and not at least include some mini cookies to use as a crunchy garnish.

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

Dunkaroos just getting right to the point, aren't they?

 

[Kirin]

Gum-e Green Apple Bubble Paste

Apparently the flavor is actually "GWEEN" apple.

Which kind of sounds like a threat.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

An Deas Butterscotch Candies

Was never really my bag but I don't dislike butterscotches, so let's go.

It's a butterscotch. Competent. It will do.

Dunkaroos Vanilla Frosting

Now with MORE RAINBOW SPRINKLES! Because people were really pissed about how they fucked up the last time on the rainbow sprinkle front.

What will the dip medium be?

I bought some pop tarts but that's just too much sweet on sweet. So I instead went with organic dark rye toast (because it is a little bit sour) and that was a little weird but mostly worked really well. That said, it's mostly frosting with slightly more firm lumps. So good but not exciting.

Yummy Miami Mango

I wonder how many Florida fruits we have left to go through.

This didn't work for me. So far, the only Yummy Miami I really enjoyed was the fakey pineapple.

Gummi Bubblegum Bottles

I feel we are lost in the gummi weeds, here.

This one was shockingly good. It has the bubble gum sweetness but it has an element similar to gummy cola and those are my favourite gummies by far. I highly recommend it, which is surprising for me.

Sugar Spider Cookies n Cream Fudge

This feels like a slam dunk

A really good fudge.

Sugar Spider Blueberry Pie Fudge

I wanted to do a cotton candy and a fudge every week but they rain out of cotton candy flavours I haven't tried... so far.

Good but this one is the kind that has that rich cheese taste, so it's better to each it piecemeal than downing the whole slab in one go... which is what I did.

Kool-Aid Tropical Punch

I think I'm nearly out of Kool-Aids I haven't tried yet.

This is a good enough one. No strong feelings.

KitKat Chunky Drumstick

Curious if I'll even know that it is supposed to taste like ice cream.

It has a vanilla cream substance inside. Good, though not putting me immediately in mind of a Drumstick

Gum-e Green Apple Bubble Paste

This one... Don't recommend. It was far too toothpastes and most of it didn't chew into gum, it dissolved in my mouth, save for a few weird chunks. Nasty. Also, there's two more flavours so I'm going to try those too.

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

I didn't even recognize it on the first pass, but Tropical Punch is one of my favorite flavors of Kool-Aid.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Tomorrow...

M&M's Minis

I remember when these were marketed they were a swarm of tiny M&M's dudes. That's all I have.

Gum-E Blu Raspbewwy Bubble Paste

Every word is a bad idea, some more than others.

Toxic Waste Slime Licker Sour Soda

This I guess kind of fits in a Halloween theme... because otherwise I might have no excuse for this.

Pickle Taffy

Because... they are Frankenstein coloured?

Vidal Gummi Spooky Spiders

Spiders are just trying to live their lives and we just point at them and say "SPOOOKY!"

Hot Jalapeno Chips

The Candy Depots branded chips. Looking forward to it.

Kool-Aid Strawberry

Oh, I haven't tried what I assume is... the default Kool-Aid flavour? Or is that cherry?

Brach's Cinnamon Hard Candy

I don't even know what the regular amount of calories is. I could look at this package and double but... I'm too tired for very basic math today.

Caramel Apple Pop (green apple)

Oh, there are three flavours? I've had green apple but apparently there are two more I've never tried.

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

I don't know what it is, but M&M Minis just seem to hit different for me. They're not bad, but don't provide the same taste sensation I get from their bigger cousins, which is usually what I look for in M&M's.

Or at least, that used to be the case. I haven't had them in so long, maybe they reformulated them.

 

[jpfriction]

Default kool aid is definitely cherry. Maybe grape. The man himself is red though.

Evidently when it was first rolled out they had six flavors: cherry, raspberry, lemon, grape, orange and … root beer? Really?

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

Wow, wonder what that was like. Sounds like a criminal act.

 

[Daikaiju]

I don't think so. Hires used to sell Root Beer extract for people to make at home. This was probably in the same vein.

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

I hope it at least uses carbonated water somehow?

 

[Johnny Unusual]

M&M's Minis

I remember when these were marketed they were a swarm of tiny M&M's dudes. That's all I have.

I don't know what it is, but M&M Minis just seem to hit different for me. They're not bad, but don't provide the same taste sensation I get from their bigger cousins, which is usually what I look for in M&M's.

I've felt the same way. Trying them again in the first time in a while has actually been kinder to them but I think making them smaller means the candy shell/choco ratio change makes a difference

Gum-E Blu Raspbewwy Bubble Paste

Every word is a bad idea, some more than others.

Again, there's little chunks of gum within an ooze that quickly dissipates in your mouth.

Toxic Waste Slime Licker Sour Soda

This I guess kind of fits in a Halloween theme... because otherwise I might have no excuse for this.

This is a damned lie. No sour taste I could detect at all. It's just a strawberry soda with wacky packaging.

Pickle Taffy

Because... they are Frankenstein coloured?

Like a lot of pickle candies; not as bad as you think they are going to be but aside from the weird novelty, there's no reason to have another.

Vidal Gummi Spooky Spiders

Spiders are just trying to live their lives and we just point at them and say "SPOOOKY!"

Just a gummi spider but too much sugar on top. I'm not the biggest fan of sugar-covered gummies but I feel like ones with extremities means more surface space for sugar and it makes it a bit worse.

Hot Jalapeno Chips

The Candy Depots branded chips. Looking forward to it.

Pretty good. Jalapeno isn't a big interest for me, but it's a solid chip.

Kool-Aid Strawberry

Oh, I haven't tried what I assume is... the default Kool-Aid flavour? Or is that cherry?

A perfectly decent flavour.

Brach's Cinnamon Hard Candy

I don't even know what the regular amount of calories is. I could look at this package and double but... I'm too tired for very basic math today.

Not bad. But also basically what you expect.

Caramel Apple Pop (green apple)

Oh, there are three flavours? I've had green apple but apparently there are two more I've never tried.

I really do like the two lolli flavours together. But I'm curious about the other two flavours.

 

[Kirin]

Gum-E Blu Raspbewwy Bubble Paste

Every word is a bad idea, some more than others.

At least somebody on the godforsaken marketing team that came up with these had the sense to realize they shouldn't replace *every* 'R' in the flavor name with 'W' on this one... because nobody wants wasp-berry.

Like a lot of pickle candies; not as bad as you think they are going to be but aside from the weird novelty, there's no reason to have another.

That may be true for pickle-flavored candies, but I recently acquired some pickle-flavored peanuts (which mostly means a lot of dill with a little other seasoning) and hot damn, they are friggin delicious and I need to get more of 'em.

 

[JBear]

That may be true for pickle-flavored candies, but I recently acquired some pickle-flavored peanuts (which mostly means a lot of dill with a little other seasoning) and hot damn, they are friggin delicious and I need to get more of 'em.

Yeah, we brought these home exactly once and then I forbade getting them again because I devoured them:

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Sunday

If you are wondering why my photography is even worse than normal, my phone does this weird thing where I sometimes need to hold still for a full second and I don't know how to turn the feature off.

Caramel Apple Pop (Golden Delicious)

Golden Delicious falls in the "entirely OK" apple scale. Far behind a good Cortland or MacIntosh and far ahead of the dreaded "Red Delicious".

Kool-Aid Lemon-Lime

Man, I keep thinking I've had certain flavours only to find I haven't.

Toxic Waste Slime Licker Blue Razz Sour Soda

Again, I must reiterate: I don't hate Blue Raspberry. I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm so tired.

Jolly Rancher Zero Sugar

Ranchers are easily my favourite hard candy.

Gum-E Strawbewwy Bubble Paste

Finally more slime that almost becomes chewy.

McCormick's Sour Sharks

Almond Joy

I've heard of these but never had one. I didn't know there was a coconut component.

Amish Country Spicy Popcorn Dust

If there's one thing I associate with the Amish, it's spicy food.

 

[jpfriction]

Almond Joy’s got nuts. Mounds don’t. because

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t!

 

[Torzelbaum]

Almond Joy’s got nuts. Mounds don’t. because

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t!

But Mounds has coconut.

 

[Kirin]

Almond Joy is a staple of Halloween assortments down here, but I’m not a fan of coconut, nor that much of almonds unless they’re really good ones, so I stay away.

If you are wondering why my photography is even worse than normal, my phone does this weird thing where I sometimes need to hold still for a full second and I don't know how to turn the feature off.

Most phone cameras will do that if the ambient lighting is too low and the flash is off. Did you have less light than normal for some reason?

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I have a new phone

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

Kool-Aid Lemon-Lime

Man, I keep thinking I've had certain flavours only to find I haven't.

I'm kinda wary of this flavor, because it sounds like the result would be akin to a flat 7up. Interested to hear the verdict on that.

Jolly Rancher Zero Sugar

Ranchers are easily my favourite hard candy.

My wife and I are on a low/no-sugar diet, so I'm also eager to hear about these, as I love Jolly Ranchers, too.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Today...

BBQ Chips

The "it'll do" flavour.

Kool-Aid Watermelon

Oh, I have some watermelon Bubly to go with this.

Jarritos Mandarin

A quality Mexican soda.

Brach's Milk Maid Caramels

I'll probably have a couple and give away the rest for Halloween. Enjoy the least interesting treat, people who live in my apartment building.

Brach's Caramel Apple

'
This might be a bit more interesting, though.

Big League Chew Sour Apple

Is it still baseball season? Is this timely? I know nothing of sports.

Caramel Apple (red mackintosh)

I nice fresh mac might be the best apple.

Flake

I vaguely remember this one is very dry and also I'm sorry about my toes.

Marshmallow Peeps Ghosts

Is this what happens to peeps after I eat them?

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

Ooh, watermelon Kool-Aid? Is that a local flavor? I'm interested, despite all but swearing the stuff off.