Over the last week or so I've seen a couple what-if threads pop up on reddit: "What if Children of Earth was a Doctor Who story?" and "What if Miracle Day was a Doctor Who story?" with the general consensus that the Doctor would have figured everything out in a quarter of the time and with minimal loss of life.
And then I had a thought: What about the opposite?
What if the Twelfth Doctor episode "In the Forest of the Night" was a Torchwood story? You know, the one where the entire planet turns into a forest overnight, and the Doctor and Clara just kind of wander around and look at stuff for 45 minutes because there's no tangible threat?
First of all it would be ten excruciating episodes long, so buckle up for that.
GWEN: Jack, what on Earth is going on?
JACK: The trees... Every tree on the planet has developed a mind of its own!
GWEN: My God... What're we gonna do?
JACK: [slow zoom in on his face, jaw set in resolve] ...
[cut to Jack and Gwen standing back to back in a forest, dual wielding machine guns at the trees and screaming]
Eventually Jack finds that random missing girl and then murders her to appease the trees. The end!
Anyway, to ensure this post wasn't a complete waste of your time, I'm also here to tell you that Josh Snares has a new podcast called Whoviana. There are only two episodes so far (
a review of The Five Doctors and
a 12th Doctor retrospective) but they're snappy and very enjoyable. If you're wondering whether to watch them or just listen, the only visual component to the video version other than a steady cam on Snares is the interstitial segment titles, so you're not missing anything. (I like watching them anyway.)