Well, the days are getting colder, the nights are getting longer, and Santa is finally confident enough that he won't be threatened by evil Robot Masters that he can make trip of breaking into strangers houses; and that means it's time for the final Digital Down-Low thread of 2022, since New Releases tend to dry up this time of year. So whether you celebrate Squishmas, X-marse, Wookie Life Day, The Concept of Winter, Winternational Day of Pancakes, Please-Please-Please It's Unboxing Day, Battery Inclusion Eve, Antifreeze Awareness Week, Garfieldsnacht, Reindeer Armistice, Shinglesmas, or Honda Days...
Merry Video Games, one and all!
So we're kicking off the holiday season, appropriately enough, with a game about familys coming together... and it naturally leading to a big dust-up where nobody wants to talk to each other again. That's right, it's Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII: Reunion! Once, one of the shining jewels of the PSP, now on just about everything and looking fancier than ever, thanks to, like, 15 years worth of advancement in the field of making video games look spiffy. I ain't never played Crisis Core when it was originally released, so I don't know what to expect here beyond "The combat system is kind of like a slot machine" and that it stars a guy that Cloud just WISHES he was as cool as.
Travel beautiful "Blighted World Spoiled by an Evil Corporation" and smack around a bunch of pale guys what got way too much weird space-bug juice in their veins thatnks to their gross mom. And enjoy their bad poetry!
Wavetale is also about smackin' up monsters in a ruined world, but this one looks to be much Zeldier about things; and specifically more Wind Waker-y, both in terms of graphical presentation and the fact that the aforesaid world ruination comes from it being MUCH too soggy. Luckily it's pretty shallow water because you can just run along it. And I guess dashing, Sonic the Hedgehog style, over deep water is KIND OF in the Christmas spirit, if you squint your imagination a bit.
Anyway, you've got a big stick, and a bunch of oceans to scamper over, and a pile of puzzle dungeons and weirdo monsters what need a good hidin'. Use violence to solve that problem, why don't you?
Now if you want a l'il less violence in your Zeldos, and a l'il more reptiles, how about getting a l'il more crocodile in there too? Well, too bad, because there are no Crocodiles whatsoever in L'il Gator Game. I mean... there might be, I didn't play it, but there sure ain't none in the title! Tell you that much for free! This here is a cozy-style Zeld-em-up where all the monsters are just you playin' pretend and the ominous demonlord you need to defeat is just the risk of being bored and the macguffins are playing with buds and pals.
Aww...
Now if you want the simple pleasure of hanging out with a lizard friend, but wish those interactions to be a little less G-rated, we have Raptor Boyfriend, which is a dating sim/visual novel where you are tasked with romancing a velociraptor.
That's right, there's Trouble right there in River City. Trouble with a Capital T, and that rhymes with C, and that stands for CHRISTMAS TIME!
That's right, River City Girls 2 has come out for all and sundry to take a look at and say "Yes, I will deck these halls, and every living thing within these halls, wielding naught but the strength of my convictions and the kegs of nuclear dynamite that are my fists." This time, the River City Girls are joined by two River City Boys (RCR mainstays Kunio and Riki), and a Marian from Double Dragon (who finally decided to do something about her tendency to get kidnapped; stomach curls mainly).
Slightly less highly kinetic, but filled with just as many brightly coloured women throwing out calamitous levels of interpersonal destruction, we have Hero Hours Contract 2, which I was originally going to just gloss over, but then I took a look at it and said "Well heck!". It's a scaled back SRPG starring a bunch of Sailor Moons who have come to realize that being a magical girl is effectively a predatory gig economy job and decide to unionize, while their magical helper familiars go "Oh... no... no you won't be doing that".
Just like how Sailor Moon istelf started by being about a bunch of teenagers beating the cuss out of small business owners, this is about Magical Girls beating the cuss out of late stage capitalism and cryptocurrency schemes.
It's, like, $2 and I am completely smitten with every component of the eShop description.
Merry VIdeo Games, You Beautiful old Building and Loan!
Merry Video Games, one and all!
So we're kicking off the holiday season, appropriately enough, with a game about familys coming together... and it naturally leading to a big dust-up where nobody wants to talk to each other again. That's right, it's Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII: Reunion! Once, one of the shining jewels of the PSP, now on just about everything and looking fancier than ever, thanks to, like, 15 years worth of advancement in the field of making video games look spiffy. I ain't never played Crisis Core when it was originally released, so I don't know what to expect here beyond "The combat system is kind of like a slot machine" and that it stars a guy that Cloud just WISHES he was as cool as.
Travel beautiful "Blighted World Spoiled by an Evil Corporation" and smack around a bunch of pale guys what got way too much weird space-bug juice in their veins thatnks to their gross mom. And enjoy their bad poetry!
Wavetale is also about smackin' up monsters in a ruined world, but this one looks to be much Zeldier about things; and specifically more Wind Waker-y, both in terms of graphical presentation and the fact that the aforesaid world ruination comes from it being MUCH too soggy. Luckily it's pretty shallow water because you can just run along it. And I guess dashing, Sonic the Hedgehog style, over deep water is KIND OF in the Christmas spirit, if you squint your imagination a bit.
Anyway, you've got a big stick, and a bunch of oceans to scamper over, and a pile of puzzle dungeons and weirdo monsters what need a good hidin'. Use violence to solve that problem, why don't you?
Now if you want a l'il less violence in your Zeldos, and a l'il more reptiles, how about getting a l'il more crocodile in there too? Well, too bad, because there are no Crocodiles whatsoever in L'il Gator Game. I mean... there might be, I didn't play it, but there sure ain't none in the title! Tell you that much for free! This here is a cozy-style Zeld-em-up where all the monsters are just you playin' pretend and the ominous demonlord you need to defeat is just the risk of being bored and the macguffins are playing with buds and pals.
Aww...
Now if you want the simple pleasure of hanging out with a lizard friend, but wish those interactions to be a little less G-rated, we have Raptor Boyfriend, which is a dating sim/visual novel where you are tasked with romancing a velociraptor.
That's right, there's Trouble right there in River City. Trouble with a Capital T, and that rhymes with C, and that stands for CHRISTMAS TIME!
That's right, River City Girls 2 has come out for all and sundry to take a look at and say "Yes, I will deck these halls, and every living thing within these halls, wielding naught but the strength of my convictions and the kegs of nuclear dynamite that are my fists." This time, the River City Girls are joined by two River City Boys (RCR mainstays Kunio and Riki), and a Marian from Double Dragon (who finally decided to do something about her tendency to get kidnapped; stomach curls mainly).
Slightly less highly kinetic, but filled with just as many brightly coloured women throwing out calamitous levels of interpersonal destruction, we have Hero Hours Contract 2, which I was originally going to just gloss over, but then I took a look at it and said "Well heck!". It's a scaled back SRPG starring a bunch of Sailor Moons who have come to realize that being a magical girl is effectively a predatory gig economy job and decide to unionize, while their magical helper familiars go "Oh... no... no you won't be doing that".
Just like how Sailor Moon istelf started by being about a bunch of teenagers beating the cuss out of small business owners, this is about Magical Girls beating the cuss out of late stage capitalism and cryptocurrency schemes.
It's, like, $2 and I am completely smitten with every component of the eShop description.
