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A Questionnaire, Part II: The Questioning

Phantoon

I cuss you bad
1) Yay
2) Muse, I've seen everyone else I wanted to. Unless time machines are in play and The Beatles.
3) In the Mariana Trench. Good luck getting me there, Bond
4) Don't eat yellow snow
5) Because Metroids don't have legs, ya big silly

Looking up I see Violent Vixen had most of the same ideas

man I'm unoriginal :/
 

Falselogic

Techno-Threadcromancer
(they/them)
1.) Yea. Double Yea!
2.) Would have loved to see The Traveling Wilburys or The Highwaymen.
3.) Inside a subaqueous volcano.
4.) I say thee nay!
5.) You need legs to crawl. They don't have any
 

Ixo

"This is not my beautiful forum!" - David Byrne
(Hi Guy)
1.) Spicy food: yea or nay?
Is "White People Spicy" an option? Green chiles, moderate heat... I'm good up through about jalapenos.

2.) What musician or musical group would you really like to see perform live?
Aesop Rock or the Aquabats are the two that spring to mind first.

3.) The time has come to build your supervillain hideout/secret lab/Fortress of Solitude/final boss lair. In what awesome but impractical location will you build it?
Oh definitely an underground bunker, accessible through a non-descript tool shed out in the backyard. No one ever thinks to look in the obvious places.

4.) Submit a catchphrase for a new fictional character. You have five seconds to think about it. Catchphrases that take longer than five seconds to come up with will not be accepted.
"It's time to introduce myself!"

5.) seriously, tho--y kant metroid crawl?
They haven't listened to enough Linkin Park.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) If you had a nightclub, what would the theme be (or if you don't care, how would you run it in general)?
2) Which season would you make a little longer, if you could?
3) Your dog has a litter of 5 puppies. What would you name them?
4) What is your favourite cartoon of the aughts?
5) What is your bad driving habit?
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
1. Vintage Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle merch is the theme. And I would be a very hands off kind of owner
2. Season 3, 6 and 7 are my favourite seasons of The Simpsons, so any one of those
3. Reed, Ben, Sue, HERBIE and Megatron Jr.
4. Hmm... there’s a few serious contenders that I can’t recall if we’re in the 90s or Teens and not the Aughts, but I’ll say Justice League/Unlimited.
5. I don’t drive, which I would consider a good habit, but it’s definitely not what you want to hear from your driver
 

Exposition Owl

could use a space fortress
(he/him/his)
1) If you had a nightclub, what would the theme be (or if you don't care, how would you run it in general)?
David Lynch. I already find the nightclub experience bizarre and unsettling, so I figure I might as well lean into it.

2) Which season would you make a little longer, if you could?
Spring, I think. Most years it gets too hot, too fast; I'd like to have some more time with that lovely short-sleeves weather before it gets oppressive.

3) Your dog has a litter of 5 puppies. What would you name them?
Titan, Rhea, Iapetus, Dione, and Tethys.

4) What is your favourite cartoon of the aughts?
Avatar: The Last Airbender by a country parsec.

5) What is your bad driving habit?
I'm a very nervous driver, so I probably take more time making turns and waiting at intersections than the cars behind me would like.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
1. Nightclub
It's a toss-up between all-year haunted halloween shit and cyberpunk.

2. Season
In Arkansas, fall comes painfully late and is over too soon. So, that one.

3. Dogs (5)
It doesn't matter, because I'm moving out. The house is no longer fit to live in.

4. Aughts Cartoon
My heart says Transformers Animated, but my mind says Justice League Unlimited.

5. Bad Driving Habit
I'm a very defensive driver, so sometimes I end up going slower than the speed limit. Sorry, I don't consider this a bad habit.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) If you had a nightclub, what would the theme be (or if you don't care, how would you run it in general)?
First, it needs to be a silent disco. The main thing I don't like about night clubs is the noise and the silent disco seems my speed. And with that, it could be themed around silent horror cinema of George Melies and German expressionism and such.
2) Which season would you make a little longer, if you could?
I love fall, but I think spring could go a big longer.
3) Your dog has a litter of 5 puppies. What would you name them?
Mr. Dog. The Ruff. Incediablo. The Red Javelin. Spot.
4) What is your favourite cartoon of the aughts?
Futurama, I think. Though I suspect there's a lot that won't hold up as well since my last viewing. Oh, or maybe Monster. Monster is good.
5) What is your bad driving habit?
Just one? Probably something about my sense of spatial awareness. Not my best skill.
 

Olli

(he/him)
1) If you had a nightclub, what would the theme be (or if you don't care, how would you run it in general)?
Bomb shelter / speakeasy mix
2) Which season would you make a little longer, if you could?
Late summer/early fall.
3) Your dog has a litter of 5 puppies. What would you name them?
Matthew, Mark, Luke, Snufkin, and Crash
4) What is your favourite cartoon of the aughts?
Venture Bros
5) What is your bad driving habit?
I don't.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) What novel did you really like as a youth but you suspect wouldn't hold up today?
2) What is the best game found in a newspaper?
3) What happened in the last dream you remember?
4) If you had the money, what kind of car would you want to buy for yourself?
5) What is the best item on the MacDonald's menu?
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
1. The novelization of Mars Attacks skipped all the comedy and was a straight up cosmic horror story. Actually, I might even like that one more now than I did then, but it’s not one that I’m certain about

2. Always enjoy a good crossword. It’s a classic for a reason

3. I was waiting in line for something...

4. KITT

5. Shamrock Shake
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) Well, I wouldn't call early 20s "youth" but sure in no hurry to revisit Ender's Game. Beyond that... Maniac Magee seems like it might be a well intentioned book that aged bad.
2) Crosswords, no question. I love them. One paper used to have a GIANT crossword (like around 1400 clues, maybe?) but they don't do print editions any more. If anyone knows where to get a giant crossword, my family would love it as a holiday project
3) Teg broke my phone. I've never met her and I rarely remember what anyone looks like when they post photos on here. But she did it and I was upset.
4) I'm not a car guy but probably a slick sports car that looks like it is from an 80s cartoon. Or maybe this modest car from a 90s/2000s cartoon
5) As a kid, I was way into the McNuggets. But really, I don't have strong feelings about any of them anymore. The McRib, I guess. I remember that from the Flintstones promotion.
 

Exposition Owl

could use a space fortress
(he/him/his)
1) What novel did you really like as a youth but you suspect wouldn't hold up today?
I honestly can't think of one. Maybe it's just my memory being selective, but all the books I loved enough to want to reread years later turned out to be pretty wonderful--some of them even better than I remembered. It would be easier for me to come up with books that I would have loved as a kid, but didn't actually discover until later.

2) What is the best game found in a newspaper?
I'll join the chorus and say crosswords. I think I'll look one up once I'm done writing this, actually.

3) What happened in the last dream you remember?
Last night I dreamed that I was hanging out with my friend the architect (who is a real person) and some of her friends (whom my brain invented). At one point we were all waiting in line at a cake shop. The cakes looked really good, but I think the dream ended before we got the chance to order.

4) If you had the money, what kind of car would you want to buy for yourself?
I don't really like to drive, but if the infrastructure were there to support it, it would be cool to have an electric car.

5) What is the best item on the MacDonald's menu?

French fries. There's only so far wrong you can go with fried potatoes.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
1) What novel did you really like as a youth but you suspect wouldn't hold up today?
2) What is the best game found in a newspaper?
3) What happened in the last dream you remember?
4) If you had the money, what kind of car would you want to buy for yourself?
5) What is the best item on the MacDonald's menu?

1. Novel

There are so many to choose from, but the first thing that popped into my head is Methuselah's Gift, a book about Christian raccoons.

2. Newspaper game

The game of "will something happen in today's Mary Worth."

3. Dream

I went to the beach. I'm hoping this dream can become a reality some time in 2021.

4. Car

My dream car is a Datsun 280ZX. If you know me, you can probably guess why this is.

5. McDonald's Item

I genuinely like their breakfast sandwiches. To be fair, this is the kind of thing that's really hard to fuck up. I can't help but admit I'm also a sucker for a Big Mac.

I miss McSalad Shakers.

 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) Where would you want to travel to post-pandemic?
2) Where, if anywhere, do you go for romantic advice?
3) When's the last time you had a black out?
4) Which is your favourite Green Lantern?
5) If you are making a grilled cheese, what is the best cheese to use?
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Momentary procrastination ho!

1) Where would you want to travel to post-pandemic?
2) Where, if anywhere, do you go for romantic advice?
3) When's the last time you had a black out?
4) Which is your favourite Green Lantern?
5) If you are making a grilled cheese, what is the best cheese to use?
1) Lots of places. Iceland? Back to Japan? The Grand Canyon? All have been tossed out there.
2) Friends mostly. Occasionally here!
3) Like, power outage or brain outage? Assuming the latter, I think my only real instance was when I stabbed my hand kinda badly with a kitchen knife and passed out for a moment shortly afterward while cleaning up the wound.
4) I'm not familiar enough with DC/GL lore to even remember what the options are here.
5) It's hard to beat a really nice cheddar, but honestly I'd go for multiple cheeses if I were getting fancy with it.

Bonus last-set round:
3) What happened in the last dream you remember?
Last night I had a long dream about some kind of adult summer camp in a big cabin with cots. My partner was there, and also Ron Swanson.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
1) Where would you want to travel to post-pandemic?
2) Where, if anywhere, do you go for romantic advice?
3) When's the last time you had a black out?
4) Which is your favourite Green Lantern?
5) If you are making a grilled cheese, what is the best cheese to use?

1. The mother-kickin' MOON, baby!
2. Feel it out, make educated guesses, seems sensible to me
3. There was a real bad ice storm about three or four years ago, I don't recall any others since then
4. G'nort, full stop. No further debate.
5. Kraft Singles
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) So many places. Going back to Australia would be nice but to make it interesting I'd want to invite friends and I doubt JBear would be interested in Spider Country. Oh, maybe finally get to the Mediterranean. Grew up on Greek myths and I love their food (except olives). Or maybe Germany. Despite being a thriller about a serial killer sought by Neo Nazis, it makes the country look really pretty.
2) Friends and family, I think, but it rarely comes up.
3) A few days ago, for just an hour.
4) Kilowogg, the pig-hippo drill sargeant.
5) This one is hard. I love classic chedder but a mozza melt is something of beauty.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) Which is your favourite Smurf?
2) Which city would you like to take a helicopter tour of?
3) What pop culture are you hesitant to revisit due to a (or many) noticeable bad LBGTQ+ takes?
4) If you were to be a orchard farmer, what would your crop be?
5) What comic book character should be put on indefinite hiatus?
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
1) Which is your favourite Smurf?
2) Which city would you like to take a helicopter tour of?
3) What pop culture are you hesitant to revisit due to a (or many) noticeable bad LBGTQ+ takes?
4) If you were to be a orchard farmer, what would your crop be?
5) What comic book character should be put on indefinite hiatus?

1) Favorite Smurf

Smurf, for Colecovision.



2) Helicopter Tour

I'm drawing a blank on this, because a helicopter affords me views of the least interesting angles of a city. The fun part would just be riding the helicopter, I guess. So my answer is: any city will do.

3) Pop Culture with a bad LGBTQ+ take

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective was one of my favorite movies as a kid. We all quoted him constantly. I read the novelization of the sequel, sitting on the floor of my fifth-grade classroom. It's unwatchable now. If you've seen it, you know the take. I'm not going to bother describing it.

4) Orchard Farmer

Whichever crop gives me the best bonus to attack.

5) Comic Book Character on Indefinite Hiatus

Did you know there were comic strips published today for Judge Parker, Mary Worth, Dick Tracy, and Mark Trail? Yes, somehow, all of these dry-as-desert serial comics persist today, long after anyone stopped caring about them. You can still find them published daily on comics aggregate sites, complete with comment sections that are either bewildered or populated by sardonic boomers. And presumably you can still find them in physical newspapers, if you perform the ritual of the paperboy on a moonlit night.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
1) Which is your favourite Smurf?
2) Which city would you like to take a helicopter tour of?
3) What pop culture are you hesitant to revisit due to a (or many) noticeable bad LBGTQ+ takes?
4) If you were to be a orchard farmer, what would your crop be?
5) What comic book character should be put on indefinite hiatus?

1. Gonna have to disagree with Drac here and say that Smurf Adventure was the better Smurf video game for the Colecovision, so it gets my vote.

2. I'm going to say... the middle of the Grand Canyon. I'm assuming there's at least a campsite set up down there, so if you broaden your definition of "city", there you go

3. Just about any movie or TV show from the 80s or 2000s. Those eras were... basically minefields

4.


5. Not counting characters with baked in racism, I always groan whenever The Mad Thinker shows up
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) Which is your favourite Smurf?
2) Which city would you like to take a helicopter tour of?
3) What pop culture are you hesitant to revisit due to a (or many) noticeable bad LBGTQ+ takes?
4) If you were to be a orchard farmer, what would your crop be?
5) What comic book character should be put on indefinite hiatus?
1) The only Smurfs I remember are the ones I don't like and Papa Smurf and Smurfette, who are a bit dull. Gluttony, maybe, since I relate to him somehow?
2) New York maybe? Lots of tall buildings.
3) Sleepaway Camp was a fun bad movie I liked but while it was never good, I am really not into its "shock" ending.
4) Macontosh apples. Or Cortlands. A nice crunchy apple.
5) The Punisher. I think even as an anti-hero, guy who wins all the fights with real world guns isn't fun any more. I don't even mind "guy who murders baddies" but all the guns? Please put him away until you can figure out a very different way to do the character.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) Have you ever written anything you are embarrassed by?
2) Which song would you like to hear on a flute?
3) Which room in your house do you spend the least amount of time in?
4) Which is your favourite Superman story?
5) Do you wear make up?
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
1. I am going to say "yes", but I don't recall what it might have been. Just feels like a safe bet.

2. "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" by Offspring is my go-to answer for "What Song Would You Like to Hear in a New Genre"

3. Utility Closet

4. This is perhaps the hardest I've had to think about any question I've ever been presented with... my gut says Birthright, by Mark Waid.

5. When you look *this* good, you don't need to.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
1. Embarrassing writing

I used to be a small-town journalist, and one time I interviewed a Pearl Harbor survivor and put the wrong year in the headline. Nobody caught it.

2. Flute song

One time I went to an anime convention and at the masquerade a girl got up on stage dressed as link and she pulled a flute out of her scabbard and played a medley of Zelda tunes on it. I'd like to go back and see that again because it was really very good

3. Room

To access our attic I have to go into one our upstairs closets, open a second door at the back of the closet, and then ascend a ladder 10 feet up to a trapdoor. I've been up there twice.

4. Superman story

In print - All-Star Superman. Otherwise - too many episodes of Superman: The Animated Series to recall. I need to rewatch that show.

5. Makeup

I have worn makeup in stage productions.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
1) Have you ever written anything you are embarrassed by?
2) Which song would you like to hear on a flute?
3) Which room in your house do you spend the least amount of time in?
4) Which is your favourite Superman story?
5) Do you wear make up?
1) Lots. I used to write for a student paper and a lot of it probably doesn't hold up as well as I'd like. I also wrote a story for a never released TT anthology that I was able to improve but I was never able to make it a story I was satisfied with. Nice to work out some writing muscles at least.
2) Fat Bottomed Girls
3) My utility room but everything in my apartment gets a daily visit from me to be sure.
4) All-Star Superman. It gets all the stuff I think makes Superman such a great character. I will never understand the people who find him boring when he's all about the big question: how do we be a good person?
5) No but maybe I should.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
1) I wrote a piece on Granstream Saga for the old Gamespite zine that is full of awful 00's games-writing snark. I attempt to accept it as a product of its time and place, but oof.

2) Bohemian Rhapsody, by a flute quartet to get the harmonies.

3) Definitely my attic if you count it (it's not a finished room though). If not, then probably a tie between the one being used as my partner's office, and the "dining" room, though we put a rowing machine in there recently.

4) I don't really know enough Supes to come up with a plausible answer for this.

5) Not on the regular, but I have for costumes. Did one with thick purple eye-shadow once which really weirded people out when I changed back into my regular street clothes afterward.
 
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