Your greatest challenge lies ahead- and downwards: Let's Play Zork!

The item description for the egg mentions both the hinge and the clasp, so try "unhinge egg" or "open clasp on egg".


And 5'd.

I tried both of those commands when I first got the egg but they produced the same "You have neither the tools nor the expertise" line so I didn't post them. The only way to open the egg is to throw it against something or break it with something and either action breaks the canary.

Oh man, I'm so holding myself back here... *g*

Disclaimer: Has played Zork and assorted text adventures at least 3 times in his life

Not really. Most people fled the Eastlands when the curse was laid on Dimwit Flathead and as the years went by more and more people abandoned this region. By the time Curse Day came around sixty-five years ago and Flatheadia was destroyed there was no one left. With the exception of frontier towns like Port Foozle the Eastlands are very sparsely populated.

I'm willing to bet, based on the general sadism inherent in most adventure games (and Zork games in particular) that the lamp is battery-powered, and that the batteries will pick the worst moment possible to fail.

Also, I concur with the vote to move the rug, but I'm thinking you should refill your bottle of water while you still can.

Better idea: Put the rug into the bottle.

You never know when you'll need a tall, frosty bottle of carpet.

I suppose that kills two birds with one stone. It moves the rug, and you'd be de-emptifying the bottle.

Okay, I've got a few suggestions to follow. First was to fill the bottle up with water... which means another trip down to the bottom of the canyon. I don't even know if this is possible. I've never tried.

I guess it is! Color me impressed, Zork.

Now it's all the way back up to try and jimmy the grating open with the knife. Back to the clearing.

Hmm. About as far as I did when I tried to open it with an egg. Using the sword produces the same result. Next, you guys really wanted me to get rid of that rug. Someone suggested that there might be a key under it. That's not a half-bad idea. I return to the house.

HOLY SHIT! There was a trap door here the whole time! I bet it's locked though, or I have to be the tooth fairy to go through it. Let's get this rug out of the way.

Here it is: the entrance to the Great Underground Empire. My heart's beating a thousand bloits a second. (The bloit is the standard unit of distance in Quendor. The official definition of the bloit is however far the ruling monarch's pet can run in an hour. Traditionally, the bloit is considered to be approximately 3,529 feet, or two-thirds of a mile.) I... I can't believe we finally found it. I'm going to be rich.

Before descending I turn on the lantern. Yes, the lantern's battery can run out if you're not careful about turning it off in lit areas. If it runs out the game can be put in an unwinnable state. Fun! I'll be conservative with it though. You won't have to tell me to turn it on or off. I'm also leaving the leaves (ha!) here. They're hard to carry and eat up a lot of arm-room. If I need them I'll come back for them.

Or maybe not. Someone shut the door on me! But we did get 25 points for coming down here.



I thought I was the only one around here. Now I'm scarred. And something crazy is happening to my crazy sword. Well, might as well explore around a bit.



Ow fuck! Um... run away! Back in the cellar the only other way to go is south.



Looks deep. At least my crazy sword calmed the fuck down. I guess... east?



This is the last thing I would have expected down here. At least there's a painting left. It looks expensive so I'm taking it.



Wha- What condition? Did the troll get me pregnant? The Biscuit Puncher remains out of our grasp so I continue north.



I think I recognize that chimney.

Won't let me go through it? Yep, it's the same one.

I... own the underground now?

Puzzles:
A locked grate.
A normal rainbow.
A jeweled egg.
A barred trap door.
A grumpy troll.
A heavy painting.
A tight chimney.

Inventory:
A glass bottle
The glass bottle contains:
A quantity of water
A nasty knife
A rope
A brown sack
The brown sack contains:
A lunch
A clove of garlic
A jewel-encrusted egg
A brass lantern (providing light)
A sword

Score: Your score is 40 (total of 350 points). This gives you the rank of Amateur Adventurer. Hey! We went up a rank!

Deaths: 2 (Grue fang, self-stabbed) And a troll-induced arm nick.

Wimp!

Lone Wolf would have thought nothing of running the troll through with his glowy sword.

Lone wolf didn't even need a sword he had, mind explosion powers.

The troll is just misunderstood and thirsty. Give him some water. Alternatively force feed him the knife.

I'm a Zork vet, so I won't be offering any suggestions, but the "screenshots" are awesome, especially the non-pilfered masterpiece. All that's left for me to say is Hello, Sailor.

Xyzzy

You have a magic glowy sword and you DIDN'T decide to stab the Troll to death?

Have you no pride, sir?

Yeah, I'm kinda feeling this "get back in there and stab the troll" vibe, too.

As for the rest of it, I'm kind of at a loss. Earlier you tried taking the rug but not moving it, and that turned out to be dumb. Maybe it's equally dumb that you tried taking the painting but not moving it? Maybe you can move it aside and reveal a safe or a secret passage or a magic troll-killing baseball bat or something?

Is there anything hidden in the painted room? A room with chaotic colors splattered all over the walls would be a decent place to hide a hidden panel or shutter or something.

Is the only light source in the underground your battery-powered lantern? Still no source of fire?

What kind of adventurer are you? You need to get back in there and kill that troll. Kill it to death. It's blocking the way and generally being a nuisance. Is the troll's name GnaM?

And, Brickroad: Yeah, the only source of light at the moment is that lantern, I think, at least according to his inventory. No fire yet.

Also, there needs to be a version of Zork that plays out accompanied by Loki's awesome crayon drawings. I would pay money for this.

Let's see!

Nope! I don't think the paint's the problem here. I think the problem is that I'm hauling around too much crap to climb up the chimney.

Nothing behind the painting. Not even a single solitary safe.

I still don't know what it means by "my condition" but I could carry this painting if I wasn't carrying everything I ever came across in life ever.

Now, to take on that troll. He scares me and I don't want to fight him. Look at the things I do for you.

Well that was smart. RESTORE.

This time the troll doesn't axe my head to pieces as soon as I step into the room.

Let's see if a drink will calm him (it?) down.

WHOOPS! Maybe I should feed him the knife a little more aggressively.

I'd normally be more concerned that the knife disappeared but I'm getting hailed on by axe strokes. Sometimes, if you're lucky, the troll will eat the knife and die from an internal hemorrhage. Not this time through. Here's a little bit of nifty triva. Marc Blank, one of the original programers, explained in a 1982 interview: "The silliest thing in Adventure was that you always had to say, 'Take ax, throw ax; take ax, throw ax.' So we decided that anything you threw at Zork's troll, it would eat! A lot of things in Zork pay homage to Adventure." Only one thing left to do:

Shit! This little bugger is tough!

Dodge! Parry! Dang it all this is epic! Normally the troll is a big push-over. I think this is the longest it has ever taken me to best him.

Whoosh! I think the problem is that I'm using "g" here which is short for "again" and repeats the last command I entered. I'm going to change up my tactic and see if it's not more affective.

Har har har. That's very cleaver of you, Zork.

A hit! Finally. I've never known such a tenacious troll. Just one last blow:

PHEW! The troll is dead. Long live me. I crown myself "new troll" and move on in search of my knife.

Did the troll just drink the water or did he eat the bottle?

He ate it. Stop acting all surprised. He was a fucking troll.

Let's get explorin'. From here I can go west or east. Kai Lords always go east, so I'm a-headin' a-west.

Ow ow ow. This place hurts my head.



I somehow find my way back to the troll room. I'm going to need some sort of strategy to get through the maze. It's just too confusing to sort out on it's own. I guess I'm heading east. Hey, doing so get's me five points!



I'll just continue to the east for now.



Hmm. Lots of directions to choose from. I'll just take them in order. First, to the south.



I feel like this hole was made just for me. I can only continue to the south.



Neat!

=(

This passage just loops me around to where I would have ended up if I'd gone east from the mirror room.



My sword is flipping the fuck out again. I think this means that there's something nearby that could kill me. I decide to descend into danger anyways.



Holy hell it's the entrance to heck! I must be deeper than I thought. I think I'm a good candidate to enter. Heaven knows I've stolen a lot of things in my life.

I think this means I'm a saint.

I'm not going to be able to enter hell just yet. I take me and my aching teeth back to the round room. This time I choose the south-eastern exit.



Things might be exaggerated a little here. Continuing east.



I can see a door down there.

I can live with a few fractured bones but many is where I draw the line. Back to the round room where I head east.



IT'S REALLY LOUD IN HERE! IT'S HURTING MY HEAD JUST STANDING AROUND! BUT HEY! THERE'S A PLATINUM BAR HERE! THAT'S GOT TO BE WORTH A FEW ZORKMIDS! I'LL JUST TAKE IT...

ARG! THE NOISE! I CAN'T EVEN PICK UP A TREASURE THANKS TO THE ROAR! I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE BEFORE I GO TOTALLY DEAF!



It's still loud in here but not so loud that everything dies. There's a light to the east. Oh... pretty...



I can continue south here but it's just more beach. Underground beach. Back at the round room I go north.



I'll just stick heading north for now.



Fascinating. North-east it is then.



If I still had a bottle I could fill it up here.

This is a dead end. The cave to the west is too small to fit through. East then.



WOAH! After several minuets of boring tunnels I find this. Immense. Thing. I've heard legends about it. It was one of King Dimwit's projects. He wanted to build Flood Control Dam #2 but a mistake in the blueprints resulted in the damn being named #3. No one knows where #1 is or if it even exists. One has to wonder about the usefulness of a dam underground where it never rains.

The control panel here doesn't warrant a picture. I drew one anyway.



Study it closely. I'm going to check out that building.



Ahh. It's nice to get away from the caves and back to the comforts of modern living. I pocket the matchbook and flip through the guidebook.

Seeing as there is no one here I think it would be okay to go through those restricted access doors. Checking them both I see they lead to the same place.



Err. Oh. I'm still able to pilfer the wrench, screwdriver, and tube.

Heading back out on the damn I move downwards to an impressive view.



Whatever that pile is it's not giving up its secrets easily. I'm carrying too much stuff to pick it up so I'll leave it here for now. South of the dam brings me to:

East takes me back to the dam, northwest to South of the Reservoir, southwest to the North-South Passage, and down to that loud room.

Whew! That was a lot of exploring but I think I've gone everywhere I can now. There's a lot of new stuff here so let's go over it.

Puzzles:
A locked grate.
A normal rainbow.
A jeweled egg.
A barred trap door.
A heavy painting.
A tight chimney.
A twisty maze.
An ugly reflection.
A rejection to hell.
A high dome.
A REALLY LOUD ROOM.
A control panel.
Four buttons.
and a pile of plastic.

Inventory:
A screwdriver
A wrench
A tube of gunk
A Matchbook
A rope
A brown sack
The brown sack contains:
A lunch
A clove of garlic
A jewel-encrusted egg
A brass lantern (providing light)
A sword

Score: Your score is 45 (total of 350 points). This gives you the rank of Amateur Adventurer.

Deaths: 3 (Grue fang, self-stabbed, troll axed)

Jump.

I assume you mean off the dam.

The game doesn't let you jump off the dam.

this tunnel was made just for me? thanks, loki. that story scarred me for life when i first read it, but i had successfully put it out of my head forever....UNTIL THIS FUCKING MOMENT! I CAN'T UNSEE IT.

Nope!

EDIT: Hey, Loki, if you ever do another LP like this, can I suggest Lost Pig?

OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO OPEN THAT DAMN DAM.

What is the green bubble on the control panel, exactly? Can you take the bolt off with the wrench or the screwdriver or something? Failing that, go back to the Maintenance Room and just start pushing buttons randomly.

Can you use it to climb down from the Dome Room using the rope?

Is there anything you can plug your ears with so the Loud Room doesn't bother you so much? Like, say, some Frobozz Magic Gunk Company All-Purpose Gunk?

That green bubble, it tests me.

Strike that panel with you Magic Sword!

I'll mess around with the damn in a bit. This seems like a really good idea and I want to explore it first.



Uhhh... oops. The rope doesn't quite reach all the way down. I hope I can still get back up.

Crap. Maybe there's another way out. At least now I have fire and can conserve my lantern battery.

Well... I'll just leave the lantern here. I'll come back if I need it.

Woah hey, my score just went up by 14 points!



All these references to "ancient Zorkers" are weird and this is the only game in the series that contains them. They're from before the larger mythology of Zork was established (though Dimwit Flathead is referenced in this game). There are no ancient Zorkers. "Zork" is not a place. It's just the name of the game and has no in-universe equivalent. The reference should read "ancient Quendorians."

I pick up the bell on my way through.



This room is s-s-scary.

And I'm not about to open it. Back up to the temple.



This look promising.

Interesting. And the hole looks like it might be the way out of this area.

The hole takes me back to the tiny cave just south of the mirror room. Downwards leads to hell.

Puzzles:
A locked grate.
A normal rainbow.
A jeweled egg.
A barred trap door.
A heavy painting.
A tight chimney.
A twisty maze.
An ugly reflection.
A rejection to hell.
A high dome.
A REALLY LOUD ROOM.
A control panel.
Four buttons.
A pile of plastic.
A scary coffin.
A mysterious temple.

Inventory:
A screwdriver
A wrench
A tube of gunk
A Matchbook
A brass bell
A torch (providing light)
A brown sack
The brown sack contains:
A lunch
A clove of garlic
A jewel-encrusted egg
A sword

Score: >score
Your score is 59 (total of 350 points). This gives you the rank of Novice Adventurer. Rank up!

Deaths: 3 (Grue fang, self-stabbed, troll axed)

It sounds like the game is trying to direct you toward hell. I wonder, with that mention of noises that can ward off evil, if maybe the bell is part of something you can use to get through hell and find whatever it is you need there.

EDIT: Also, you should definitely open up that sarcophagus.

But there might be a m-m-m-MONSTER inside.

I've gotten a little turned around now, but can we get back to the loud room? If so, ring the bell in there!

Here's a map of where I've been so far.



OKAY I'M BACK IN THE LOUD ROOM.

IT'S TOO DAMN LOUD! THE ECHOS! I'M GOING TO GO BACK AND TRY THAT GUNK IN EAR IDEA BRICKROAD HAD.

Drat it all! I guess I'm not going to be able to shove mysterious goo into my ear.