Let's Battle Ogres! (Ogre Battle 64)

There’s a lot of topics I want to cover in today’s update, so let’s get started.

Important Notice

I’ve mentioned before that this LP is a work in progress, and in order to make easier to read, I’m not going to transcribe each line of dialogue like I have been. I’ll still do all of the important scenes, but expect a few more summaries just to make things easier for you all. Don’t worry; it shouldn’t ruin your enjoyment of the LP any.

Sidequestin’

Let's head back to that old guy who first told us about the Dragon Armor and Dragon Helm. To Mylesia!



Hey, aren't you Vad's friend? And don't you live on the other side of the country?

Old Man: You'll need one more item to become a Dragoon. The item you need is called...the Sword of Tiamat.

I like how this NPC casually addresses the fact that job classes have equipment requirements. He’s accidentally breaking the fourth wall.



Old Man: The skills necessary to forge it have been lost.

Great...I guess I'm going to have to go fight some huge ass dragon or something, huh?

Old Man: Huh? A Sword of Tiamat available somewhere? Hmm...the only possibility would be in the stomach of Grozz Nuy...

I hate being right. Why the hell would a dragon eat a sword anyway? Maybe he used it as a toothpick? Or maybe he is the sword, and the dragon itself is its’ scabbard?

Old Man: A sword as marvelous as the Sword of Tiamat should retain its quality even in there.

You heard it here, folks. Dragon stomach acid works great as a preserving agent.



That makes sense.

Wait...that doesn't make any god damn sense.

Old Man: Grozz Nuy may be a god to the pure-minded; those with impure minds fear it.

So he's a...shapeshifter? Hey guys, we're going to go fight Odo!

Old Man: People are selfish. Those who try to acquire fame become its prey. Many Dragoons challenged Grozz Nuy for that reason. I'm sure many of them were eaten by him as well. ...where's Grozz Nuy? No one knows.



Dude, don't be a dick.

Old Man: Any information about it? Let me think...wait a minute. I'm not sure if it's true, but I heard a rumor that the barkeep in Elaine saw him. The town of Elaine is on the Vert Plateau. Well, if that's all you have to go on, try it.

We'll be heading to the Vert Plateau in a few missions. We have to do a bit more to get the Sword, but we're almost there. The Princess sidequest has barely even begun, though...we can't even start that until fourteen missions from now. Considering how much time this LP is taking, in real life terms that means we won't be able to do it until 2011.

Invasion Situation: The Dardunelles



There's no story before the briefing this mission. Basically all we need to do is hold off the Central Division and hopefully push them out of the Dardunelles. If you'll remember, this is the map I got a Game Over on the first time we came here (see Episode 9). We will not be making the same mistake again. Our leftover unit will be on HQ defense, but I'm going to leave someone else behind as well since I don't fully trust our leftover units' abilities. Sheen can fly so he'll be heading south from the start, then east, and then north over the river to capture that stronghold. Everyone else is either going to go north or east like last time.



New music again. It’s weird how they throw new songs at you once every 20,000 battles.

Geez, looks the enemy had the same idea for their flying units too. Alright, we'll need Lichald's help to break up that legion. Beef Jerky, Dio, and Zinc can help out too. Tim will lead the charge to the north with Leia right behind. Goofus will hang near our HQ for now.



Dio and Lichald are about to attack the outside units of the legion, Sheen killed the attacking Raven unit, and Tim/Leia took the stronghold in the north. So far so good.

...and after one battle, Dio's front row is now completely Petrified. Great. Dio has a clear run at getting back to our HQ so he'll be fine, but we're going to be down a unit for the rest of the map.



Lichald had to retreat while fighting the Cataphract unit (I got cocky and didn’t heal him when I should have), and he ended up retreating into the Cockatrice unit (the Freya). Now WhiteMage is petrified and Lichald needs to go back to our HQ to buy anti-petrification medicine. This map is really starting to annoy me.



Great, another legion. Luckily this is a small one, so Leia and Tim should be able to handle it. BJ took out one of the units in the bigger legion, but the Freya unit is still a matter of concern.



Oh I soooo do not have time for you right now.

The good thing about the bigger legion is that it isn't moving. That gives Zinc time to maneuver around them and then back attack the Freya unit, thus eliminating the threat of the Cockatrices.



Hmm. Tim's unit has very suddenly become really good. Waffles is getting insanely good too; he's even better than Pancakes now! How the hell did that happen?

I always did like waffles more than pancakes. Fuck! Now I want waffles!



Lichald finally got the item he needed and once he's rested he'll be able to jump back into the fray. Leia and Tim completely shredded the smaller legion, and Zinc is about to give those Cockatrices what-for.



Alright, everything's been taken care of. Tim and Leia are about to get into a mess, but Zinc/BJ/Lichald/Goofus are on their way. Sheen captured the stronghold to the south and just needs to finish one unit off. Except for the petrification of WhiteMage/Dio, this map went as planned. That was a hell of a speed bump though.



There’s nothing special about this battle, really. But do you notice anything different? Notice how everything is slightly darker? That’s because this battle took place at dusk and the battle screen’s lighting changed to reflect that.

If this was 2000 and you were 14, you’d be really impressed right now.

Normally I'd showcase the boss but this mission doesn't warrant it. This boss was, similarly to the legion, glued in place so I was able to attack the boss (a Priest) from behind (if you know what I mean). Having a Priest in the front row is not a good strategy, so we were able to take her out in a few hits. She didn't have anything meaningful to say other than Lodis was indeed the one who sent the Central Division to the Dardunelles.



We can always use new mage gear. We also picked up a second Flame Flail, a Battle Fan (for our Princess), and a Vestment of Fire. Not too shabby. We missed a Glamdring (sword), though. How did we miss it, you ask? More on that in a second.



I know, I just told everyone that.

This next scene is short so I'm going to summarize it. Leia, Dio, and Goofus all fret over the fact that Lodis is breathing down their neck. Hugo comes in and suggests that Lodis and the Central Division are going to attack the Eastern Orthodox Church first in order to cut off any assistance we may get from them. Goofus vows to get to them before Lodis, and we're off to the east of Palatinus!

Superfriends Narrator: Meanwhile, back at the hall of justice, a group of people are standing around for no reason in particular!



Superfriends Narrator: Whoa, shit!



That's Europea. More on her later.

Kerikov: The devil possessed the Berthan Sentinel? The Archbishop had a pact with the devil?



That was a random scene, wasn't it? Long story short: there was absolutely no behind-the-scenes-scheming going on in that scene. None whatsoever. Nope...no scheming here!

Status Report

Koume, Waffles, and Pancakes all finally became Sirens/Archmages respectively. Zinc’s alignment is still too low to become a Dragon Master, but she’s really, really close. Not much else to report otherwise. Since there’s a lot of new spells in there, you can expect to see some new combination spells soon.

The only real problem we have is our supreme lack of Valiant Mantles. Thanks to the way drops work in this game, we won’t be getting any more…which means we can only have one Black Knight. This puts Asnabel and Wario in a tricky position. Only one of them can become a Dragoon and the other will have to be replaced.

Oh, and by the way, we’re coming up on mission 20 and after mission 25 we’ll be able to have a Lich and a Dragoon. Just so you know.

Everyone: But wait, what do you mean “thanks to the way drops work in this game”? How do drops work?

How Drops Work

Geez, I was getting to that. Slow down, Everyone!

Each unit in the game has a specific drop attached to it. Killing a unit will cause your unit to find the item they drop…or it won’t. You see, killing a unit does not guarantee that they will drop the item. To use our Black Knight situation as an example, we’ve already killed all of the units that drop Valiant Mantles in the entire game...yet we only have one. One of the units in the Dardunelles dropped a Glamdring, but I had to leave for work and forgot to save. When I started over after work, I killed the same unit and did not get the sword. There is a luck “stat” that increases the odds of finding items among other things, but there’s no way to track what level your “LUK” is at and it’s incredibly hard to raise.

tl;dr Drops aren’t guaranteed and you only get one shot at getting them.

Will the Real Main Character Please Stand Up?

Timeline wise, OB64 takes place a few years after Ogre Battle March of the Black Queen. In OBMotBQ, you got to create the main character. You could make the main character either male or female. The main character of OB would obviously still be important in the OB world during the time of OB64, so Quest went ahead and made Destin the canon main character from OB. But what about all those people who made a female character? We don’t want to alienate them too. That’s where Europea comes in. Destin is designed to look like the male OB main character, and Europea is designed to look like the female OB main character. It’s technically speaking possible to recruit them both, but it won’t be for us since we already missed out on the prerequisites for Destin. We should still be able to get Europea though. Erm…I think. We’ll find out soon, at any rate.

Alternate Reality

We let Ankiseth die. Oops! But it doesn’t have to be like that! If you choose to talk to Ankiseth instead, Ankiseth and Goofus sit down and begin to work out a peace agreement. They’re both a little pissed off at each other, but things go fine otherwise. That is, until Dio comes in and tells everyone that Yumil has been arrested for treason and taken by a knight from Lodis (Baldwin). Ankiseth wants to go rescue him alone, but Goofus insists on taking the entire PANTS Platoon. The battle begins the same as it was for us, only now Ankiseth’s unit appears from our base and moves on a predetermined path toward the end. So now not only do you have to deal with the enemy, but you have to keep Ankiseth’s unit safe as well. It really, really sucks (unfortunately for us, we’re going to have to do something similar to get both Carth and Europea).

Obviously, you fight Baldwin instead of Ankiseth at the end. Baldwin grabs Yumil but Mari tries to stop him with some of the voodoo magic that random old lady gave her. Baldwin knocks her out anyway and escapes with Yumil. After that, Ankiseth decides to help the Revolutionary Army and is present during the briefing scene with Frederick and Xevec. So, had we played our cards different, Ankiseth could still be with us…but damn it, we’re getting that werewolf! I cannot stress this enough.

The Ogre Battle AV Club

I was bored on YouTube one night and I started looking at Ogre Battle 64 stuff in an effort to come up with new ideas for this LP. Since then, I’ve done some research and found a bunch of art and videos I’ll be posting for your viewing pleasure. Let’s start off with Ogre Battle 64’s Japanese commercial.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJeTsfAOwXA

The scary thing is that that’s exactly how I look when I play. I (sometimes) have a glass of scotch and I just stare at my computer until the game makes sense. I even have a Japanese bartender with a cool mustache who lives with me. He always leave the bathroom a mess. If he didn't make such a mean Manhattan, I would've kicked him out months ago.

Notice the string music in the beginning? That’s the song that plays when Yumil and Goofus are talking at the beginning of the game. I told you it was moving, didn’t I?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqhoNVdctgs

Do you remember that song I told that sounded partially majestic and partially like a Harry Potter song? Well, this is it. Seriously, skip to one minute in. Doesn’t that part sound like it would be in a Harry Potter movie? It totally does, no matter what you say.

Next time we’ll be heading to Gules Hills, where we can pick up the Pedra of Virtue and some good items. We’ll also be getting Sheen’s unique item as well as going through the mission itself. Look for it later this week.

You, sir, are quite mad.

I've kind of slackened off my own playthrough of this game in recent days. I should pick it up again.

Five words: I. Have. A. Giant. Chicken.

I'm tingling with excitement to see what happens next!

Or maybe it's your groovy Pumpkinhead avatar?

No one said it couldn't be both. Today's update is semi-story heavy, so it's actually worth getting tingly over. But first...

Why Giant Chickens Are Bad

I know, I know...Cockatrices are great. Enemy Cockatrices have already given me some trouble (see the past few episodes), so why don't we have one? It's simple. If you have a Cockatrice in the front two rows, they're a regular physical attacker. There's no real reason to get one other than it's Chicken-ness. But if you put it in the back, it uses Petrify which is a great instant kill move. The only problem is that if you Petrify an enemy, you don't get ANY experience. So, in my opinion, it's not worth it. But if you can handle the lack of exp., then it's good to have one around. But we want that sweet, sweet exp. so we're not getting one. Maybe next time?

Sidequestin'

Now that we've thoroughly conquered the Dardunelles we can get Sheen's special item, the Decoy Cap. The Decoy Cap increases the odds of having a neutral encounter. This would've been really helpful to have ages ago when we were hunting dragons and the like...but we might as well get it now. Sheen heads to the town of Garo Kaio and...



Language, Sheen. Language.

Girl: Are you still too busy to take me flying?
Sheen: Oh, oh yeah...(Is that her!?)
Girl: Uh...I have a present for you.



<3

Sheen: Oh, ah, thanks. (Man, I was just kidding...)



So, the best I can figure, Sheen is a pedophile and this little girl made him a cute cat ear hat/hood thing. Or something. Hell, I don't know what's going on here. I won’t pretend.

The funny thing about this situation is that, as a Raven, Sheen can't even wear that.

Big Map + Few Units = Kind of Boring: Gules Hills



WHOA!

Hugo and Goofus talk about how Lodis has officially annexed Palatinus for the time being. Their official reason is to put a stop to the Revolutionary Army and then return power to Palatinus once they are subdued. They also make a point to say that there will be no peace accord with the Revolutionary Army. Looks like we've got some foreign ass to kick!



Normally we would need to protect those neutral strongholds from the enemy, but since this is a low chaos frame playthrough, it’s okay if we lose them. But I’m going to protect them anyway just to give myself a little extra challenge. Goofus/Tim/Zinc will go north, Leia/Dio/BJ will go north east, Sheen will head straight east, and then north to the eastern most stronghold. Lichald will go to back up whichever group needs more help.



Wow, Lodis is really not screwing around anymore. We have three Knight Templar charging us right at the beginning of the map. Still, this is nothing we can't handle.



Officer: By the order of Pope Saldian, you will be executed by us, the Brigade of Radiant Cross!



Filarhh? How the hell do you pronounce that?

Officer: ...grant us your blessings.

Filarhh: No, you know what? I won't. You guys keep calling me that stupid name. I already told you that isn’t my real name!
Officer: But no one would worship you if we called you Abortion Factory!
Abortion Factory: Not my problem. You guys are on your own.
Officer: Duuuuude. Come on, brah. Help a bro out here.



Shit is about to get real, yo. Those three flying units coming in from the east mean business. Sheen's moving to intercept but he'll probably need a bit of help. Leia and Dio have successfully taken care of the three Templar Knights, so we don't have to worry about them...but this convoy of Vultans is a concern.



By the way, Mario and Badguy are both pretty damn strong now. Deneb makes a really great Priest, too. It feels a bit wrong having her as a non-Witch, but she’s good so I can’t lose too much sleep over it.

Zinc's unit reduced these guys to just two people in two encounters. Not bad for a unit-in-progress.



Sheen has been holding his own against these other flying units, but BJ is coming to help out just in case. Lichald is headed to back Leia up. The situation on the other side of the map is well in hand, so don't even worry about that.



Oh no! That Opinicus just used Wind Storm on us! When this gust of wind hits it will tear us to...oh wait, it did 8 damage. Pfft. Nevermind.



Sheen wasn't able to finish off the last flying unit, but thankfully it was headed right for Dio. Hey, look at the background! I haven't shown you that before, huh?



Again, notice the background? This time we're fighting near a castle, so the background changes to show us fighting at the castle's gates. So far all of the backgrounds have primarily been grassy areas, forests, or barren areas and only very rarely would areas like this be around. But now that we're later in the game, we can expect to start seeing things like this show up far more often. Look for snowy areas in a few missions!



Dio is hunting down a lone unit near our HQ, Leia, Lichald, BJ, and Sheen are headed east while...



Goofus and Zinc are going to head east and Tim hunts down a straggler. So far, everything's been pretty straightforward. And we haven't encountered any legions yet. This map can't be this easy.



Ah, I spoke too soon. This legion is small and pretty weak though…so this is nothing to be concerned about.



That legion barely even put up a fight. All that's left now is a few units and then the boss. That Black Knight unit is a serious bitch, though. A BK and four Witches. This looks like a job for Lichald and his Amazing Team of Full Screen Spell Casters!



Our entire back row got put to sleep after this, but this Blue Spiral plus Lichald and Wario's attacks really put them in a squeeze.

And...that's it? Really? That one small legion was the only real opposition we had this entire map? That's pretty lame, Ogre Battle 64. You can do better than that.

Ogre Battle 64: You're right. Let me spawn some Cockatrices real quick.

Wait! WAIT! Nevermind, this is really, really hard!

Ooooh you bastards. That's even worse! The boss sent troops out after us once we got close to him. That is an absolute dick move.

As revenge for pulling such a dick move, I unleashed Lichald upon the unsuspecting units. After the battles were over, one unit had a single Diana left with 17 HP, and the other had a Knight Templar with 1 HP and a Freya with 20 HP.

Yeah, fuck you GAME.



BJ hasn't seen much combat, so once I'm done mopping up these units with Tim, I'll have BJ take care of the boss.

Renowned Knight Templar: I see, you belong to the Revolutionary Army...



Well, yeah BJ. We've been fighting Templars this whole level, and we already knew that they were coming. Come on, man.



Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die (come on, you guys knew I had to reference that at some point, right?).

Pruflas: Pruflas Watts, of the Caliginous Order. This is the Brigade of Radiant Cross. I'm sure you've heard of us.

Yeah I've killed, like, thirty of you guys already.

Pruflas: Go tell the others, and cower in fear...if you survive, that is.



Kotake and Koume use the same combination spell as before, only now it hits everyone at once. Oh, and Pruflas is a chump and goes down in one encounter.

Pruflas: Hmm...impressive, most impressive. That's enough for today. I'm glad to have witnessed your strength with my own eyes. *teleport*

Pruflas is a lackey of Baldwin and Richard. He likes to make himself seem more important than that but he really isn't.



Heavy Armor? I've got a bunch of those already. Lame. Well, still...we found some good items this map. We found two Stone Swords, a set of Titania Mail, some Terra Armor, and new sword for one of our Sword Masters. Not bad, all things considered.

Narrative: Winnea, Capital of Palatinus



Hey, we're back at the beginning of the game. At least now everything isn't so brown.

Mari: We should go inside.

If you know what I me...ah, forget it.

Yumil: ...I want power.

I could go for some tacos, personally.

Yumil: Why...why am I so powerless!? This would've never happened, if I had power...am I wrong, Mari? The reign of Lodis on Palatinus...Ankiseth's death...Everything!

Yeah, with everything! Sour cream, guacamole, cheese...the works, you know?

Yumil: Goofus...he wouldn't have left either. I want power...

Obviously, if you keep Ankiseth alive he doesn't blame himself for his death. But he does blame himself for being so dependent on Goofus and Ankiseth instead.



Mari: My lord...you...





FYI: 99% of the time there's a voice off screen in this game, it's Baldwin.

Baldwin: You are entitled to the power that can only be wielded by the royal family! I'm sure you know the legend...how the Progenitor gained ultimate power. If you wield that power, everyone...including us...will kneel before you.
Yumil: Don't lie to me! You'd never kneel before anyone!
Baldwin: You misunderstand us. We subjugate kingdoms solely to maintain order in this world by spreading our ancient teachings.



Ouch, King Procus just got burned!

Baldwin: And if it's ruled by a sage, we pledge our loyalty to him...To lead the people....that is what the powerful are destined to. It's natural for the weak to follow. Prince Yumil, only you are worthy of wielding the ultimate power.



What a smooth operator that Baldwin is.

Yumil: Stop! Leave me be...



Baldwin: Woman, how did you gain such power!?

Remember what I said about Mari revealing her power if we left Ankiseth alive? Well, here's where Baldwin addresses the fact that she can use magic if we don't do that.

Mari: I...I don't know anything.
Baldwin: Zeda...what are you trying to hide from me? ...I will find out, eventually.

Not Zelda. Zeda. Zeda is that old lady who gave Mari her powers.

Yumil: I...have the potential to change the world? The power of the Progenitor? If that's true, ...I want it!



Sitcom Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwww.

Hey Sitcom Audience! I haven't seen you guys for a few updates now. Where have you been?

Sitcom Audience: Watching George Lopez reruns, mostly.

Sounds...good?

Sitcom Audience: *shrug*

Status Report

Hey, Zinc can finally become a Dragon Master! Hurray! Gillian is still a little too high alignment to become a Diana but we're almost there. Putting her in with Zinc and co. has really helped bring her alignment down. I have a plan to deal with our lack of Black Knights, but it won't come to fruition for a few more missions from now. Also, all of those swords we found are apparently even worse than the ones we're already using! Talk about a rip-off.

Sidequestin' Part 2: Return of the Questin’

Before we move on, let's head to the town of Muji in Gules Hills.

Middle-aged Man: Uh...I have something to ask of you. My daughter works in the Volmus Mine, but I lost contact with her when Alba was liberated...



Waitwaitwaitwait, you let your daughter work in a mine? What kind of father are you?

Man: I'm really worried about her, especially with what's going on around here. If you happen to be in Volmus, would you look for her?

Well, I'm in the middle of fighting a war right now...but sure, I'll head halfway across the country in order to see if your daughter's okay.



Son of a bitch! Apparently she went to Mount Ithaca to work at a bar. Great, now we need to go ALL the way across the country to find some dumb girl. Argh!



You can gimme da gold, for starters! I had to go all around the country to find you!

The lady thanks us and...



In the general store? Are you serious? They're just selling these to anybody now? Well, at least we've got all but one of them.

Speaking of which, let's go get that! Similar to how we got the other two element Pedras, you can get the last pedra by training at Gules Hills a few times. A few training battles later...



And we're up against an Azhi Dahaka and a Dragoon. We technically already fought a dragon like this back when we fought that Flarebrass for the Pedra of Flame. We were able to do that without even having a Pumpkinhead in our group, so I'm not worried about this in the least.

As expected, the chumps go down on my first try and we get the Pedra of Earth. We've now caught 'em all! Pedras can be used almost every battle now, so we can use one basically any time we're ever in a jam. They take a long time to recharge though, so we can't be reckless with them.

Next update, we'll be getting a new party member...and stuck in a really brutal battle. There's also some anime-inspired humor! Get ready for some cliches!

I just wanted to chime in and say that this LP is rad. How rad? Rad enough to get me to stop lurking and register an account in order to let you know how rad it is.

It's also worth noting that I never really played past the first five minutes the first time I played this game, despite loving the SNES version. I don't know if that makes me weird or not.

Is this... common practice for this game? To send Giant Cocks at you?

The experience issue is significant, but Giant Chickens Are Still Good. And more importantly, they're the best flying creature until almost the end of the game.

Yup. But if you have some golems around they can be used to block the cocks.

Why Giant Chickens Are Still Bad

Well, no…Sanagi’s right. They’re good. It’s just that I consider them a little on the cheap side, and not getting exp isn’t cool. I heavily considered getting one but…screw it. We’re doing fine without it.

Yes.

Its Cliché Time!: Fair Heights Briefing

This mission starts with Hugo and Goofus discussing what's been going on lately. A scout just returned to the PANTS Platoon with word that Lodis has already taken up positions in the eastern regions. The Church isn't resisting them for unknown reasons. Could it have something to do with that random scene from the end of Episode 17? Are they trying to save face?

Or maybe they're like me and they're too busy playing Soul Calibur IV to notice?



This map is beyond straightforward. Head north; that's it. Since it's such a simple map, the game throws a metric fuck-ton of units at you. We'll be alright. The PANTS Platoon has been performing really well.

To put it another way, Lodis ain’t got shit on me.



Yeah, you're essentially useless. What the hell are you doing here?

Leia: Why today? Do I get a special assignment!?

Haha, silly Leia! Of course not! Now be a dear and fetch me my newspaper and smoking jacket, will you dear?

Leia: Am I right? Oh come on, Hugo! Tell me!
Hugo: Why are you all excited?

Translation: Calm the eff down, lady.

Hugo: No, it's nothing like that. We have a visitor, who says she knows you well. She should be here soon...
Girl's Voice: Leia!



Who came up with that hands-on-hips-point-at-person pose? It's in everything ever made by a Japanese company ever.

Leia: Meredia!? ...Why are you...?
Meredia: I can't believe you really joined the Revolutionary Army. Your father is worried about you. Why don't you come home?
Leia: You came all the way here to tell me that?
Meredia: Of course not!

God you're an idiot, Leia! You haven't said anything relevant this entire time. I hate you. We all hate you. And I still don't have my paper!!! Oooooh. One of these days, Leia. One of these days! Bang! Pow! Straight to the moon!

At this point, I'd like to point of the dangers of Wikipedia. I can't even remember how, but I paused the game for a second and went to go look something up. Ten minutes later I was reading about the Bob Newhart show. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS HAPPENED. Stay from Wikipedia, kids. Stay away.

Meredia tells Goofus that there are people in the Central Division who support them, but they can't publicly act. But they're there all the same. Hugo is excited to hear it...

Goofus: Count Silvis...? Wait a moment!
Meredia: You noticed! Yes, Count Silvis is indeed Leia's father. He loves his daughter very much, but she ran away and joined the army.



Leia: I'm not going home, period!

Whoa, damn. Somebody's got issues.

Meredia: Neither of us figured you'd listen to us.
Leia: Then what...



Okay! <3

Meredia: And I want to ask for one more favor. May I join your battalion? I'm kinda worried about Leia, too <3.

Blah, blah. We let her join and she goes on a bit more about Leia and stuff. I should mention that after nearly every line, Meredia does that generic "Oh hohoho!"-hand-cover-mouth laughing animation that you've seen a million times in games/anime.

In other words, Meredia is really generic and she's annoying as all hell. But she's a Siren and Waffles needs a partner...so we'll take her! Now let's get down to business.

Running the Gauntlet: Fair Heights



Sheen is going to head straight to the stronghold in the northwest. Everyone else will head north. We've got three units coming after us, but none of them are strong enough to be of any real concern.



It's a bit hard to tell what's going on here. The Cataphract and Archmage units are leaderless and running away. The Paladin and Freya units are moving towards us. Sheen will intercept that flying unit, and we'll send Leia to help him take that stronghold. That legion doesn't have anything in it that we need to worry about. We'll deal with them later.

Hey, who wants to try out a new pedra? I do! Pedra of Earth, go!



Yes, those are giant/textureless stone golem monster things. They spin at the enemy and hit them with their giant hammer hands. It’s cool, but not as cool as unleashing a pack of ice wolves.



Now we have three leaderless units running around, and a Dragon Master unit headed our way. This unit is actually a bit scary since they have a Quetzacoatl, but that's nothing our own Ryu can't take care of.

Let's try out our other new pedra, the Pedra of Virtue.



Angels? Is Danny Glover nearby?

There's a neat blur effect that goes on during the animation too. Behold, the power of the N64!

This is quite a battle. Ryu Paralyzed half of their front row, and their Quetzacoatl Paralyzed Ryu in return. Our fighters are dealing more damage though so we'll win this for sure.



Two of the leaderless units and the Dragon Master unit are all camped out right in front of that legion. This is going to be extremely messy but we have the advantage since half of the enemy is too tired to do anything.



Go, Waffles, go!



That legion went down faster than a hooker at a...nah, I can’t even finish the joke. I need to keep this LP somewhat T for Teen.

We wiped out the Freya and Core units in one encounter, and BJ is going to finish off the Enchanter. We do have a reason to be concerned, though. That Freya unit in the north has two Cockatrices. This could get very ugly.



Here's the plan: Sheen stays there to distract the Freya unit and Zinc will try to back attack her. If the Freya begins moving towards Zinc (which it probably will), then Sheen will swoop in and capture the stronghold. If not, then Zinc will back attack it and have Ryu's Paralyzing mad skillz so it shouldn't be too hard.



Well, that didn't go as planned. Sheen's unit got attacked trying to distract the Freya and Peanut and Jormungandr got Petrified. But that's okay. The Freya ran away to the boss’ stronghold. We'll deal with her when the time comes.





FUCK. Well, there goes Zinc's unit. It doesn't really matter though; we're done with this map. Tim's going to finish off those two stragglers and Dio/BJ will take care of the Freya. And we've still got Goofus/Leia/Lichald to take down the boss. This'll be over any minute now.

...and right after I typed that, Daisy, Luigi, and Dio all got Petrified. BJ was able to finish it off, but Kotake and Koume got Petrified in the process. Technically, I could go make an anti-Cockatrice unit (in other words, a unit with Golems because they can't get Petrified), but I'm lazy. Our "throw everything at it" strategy has worked so far, so let's just go with it.

Jeal: PANTS Platoon, tell me why you're here.

Hey, it's Jeal! Remember Jeal from roughly ten to fifteen hours ago? It's him! Hi Jeal!



Duh.

Jeal: Let me give you a piece of advice. Don't even bother. You won't walk away from here in one piece. Your lives end this day.

Two things:

One: like a lot of things in this game, this speech doesn't make any sense. One sentence he says to not even try to talk to the Church, and then the next he says that we're going to die. If we're going to die, why even tell us to not bother talking to the Church?

Two: a Black Knight is talking shit to me? That makes sense. Black Knights are good...but not in the back row! All Jeal did before we killed him was cast Ice Blast once for a measly 8 damage. What a joke!

Jeal: You think Eastern Orthodox Church is going to help you...? ...I guess you don't know yet. Both the Eastern Region and its Church...are already under our control...it was a big mistake for us to have the PANTS Platoon alone for this long...



Coulda, shoulda, woulda. But you didn't.

Lichald finally gets a new weapon! I just bought him a fire-themed weapon at the beginning of this level. They’re technically the same attack strength, so we’ll just use whichever one looks cooler.

Hugo and Goofus discuss the recent going-ons in the Eastern Region. It turns out that Archbishop Odiron has been displaced as the leader of the Eastern Region. All sorts of rumors are flying around about a Berthan Sentinel being possessed and Odiron dealing with the devil etc. That’s the official reason for removing Odiron from power anyway. Kerikov (whom is revealed to be a nobleman from the Central Region) has taken his place.

Again, there's obviously no behind-the-scenes-schnanagins going here. None at all.

Goofus wonders why the Central Division made their move now. Hugo mentions that it has to be to stop our expansion, but hints that there may be another reason. Remember all that talk about the power of the Progenitor and the Temple of Berthe? Yeah, that might have something to do with it too. Hugo and Goofus don't know that yet, though. Goofus pleads that we need to get to the Church ASAP.

Hugo: Hold on. There are 2 routes to the Eastern Orthodox Church. I think it's better for you if you know what to expect. Are you ready?

James Brown: Hit me! UNH

Hugo: The first route is through the Tremos Mountains, avoiding the Central and Eastern Divisions...there are no reports of enemy activity, but we have no idea what to expect in the area. You are not guaranteed a safe trip.

Protip: Expect demons!

Hugo: The other is to head north through Capitrium. I'm sure that the enemy will be lying in wait for us. There is also Castle Eundel to worry about...also, this may distract us from our plans, but...it was reported that an outcast Berthan Sentinel is heading for the Vert Plateau. The Berthan Sentinels were established to honor the achievements of the Knights of Danika. They are known to be devout warriors. I can't believe they would consort with devils, but if it's true...they will be most formidable indeed.



Decision time! If we head to the Tremos Mountains, then that closes off the other two options. We can get a second Ring of the Dead (the rare item for a Lich) and Paul the Enchanter if we head this way, but we'll be missing out on two very important things. Europea the Centurion can be recruited in the Vert Plateau, and Biske la Veret the Werewolf can be recruited in Capitrium. If you head to one of these maps first, the Tremos Mountains gets closed off permanently but we can still head to the other map right after. The map that opens up after clearing these two maps, Celesis, is where we'll be finishing the Dragoon and Lich sidequests. We're really, really close everyone! So the real question here is do we want a Centurion or a Werewolf first? I'm not entirely certain if we even can recruit Europea (some people claim she's a high CF character and others say that CF is irrelevant), so we'll head to get Biske first. I know for a fact that we can get Biske so better to get the character we're 100% sure we can get first, right?

Status Report

Change of plans with Meredia. She joined us at level 14...and the rest of my characters range from 18-21. It's not really worth leveling her up just to get another mage. The only reason I was going to use her was to give Waffles a partner, but eventually he’ll have a Drakonite spellbook and he won’t even need a partner. So screw it; she stays on the sidelines.



Gilliam is a Diana now and Dianas get three attacks in the back row. We didn't have any back row spots available so we had to make some changes. I essentially switched Tim and Zinc's units. It's actually really good that we aren't using Meredia because that would mean we'd need to retire one of our current characters. Zinc's unit is now the unit I originally envisioned when I first recruited Ryu and Ken. Ken weakens the enemy party and Ryu keeps them from acting. Each member is equally likely to be physically attacked. Tim's new unit is basically the same except Gillian and Vad have replaced Ken. It's a weird unit layout, but it'll work well enough.

We're going to be getting some new party members in the next two maps, so this may change a bit in the future...but if I remember correctly they come with their own units, so we should be okay.

Sidequestin'

Time to almost wrap up the Dragoon quest. Remember that bartender we were supposed to talk to?



You wanna fight about it? Huh tough guy?

Barkeep: It's been more than twenty years, when I was little. I was taken to Celesis, the seat of the Eastern Orthodox Church. I didn't enjoy it there, so I went into the forest near the town of Pinneg, alone. That's when I saw him. The sky darkened suddenly...why, I'm not sure.



Show me on the doll where he touched you, Barkeep.

Barkeep: I was so scared I peed in my pants and passed out cold. When I woke up, I was at home in bed. My mother had found me lying in the snow. It wasn't a dream. Here's the proof...I found this beautiful scale in the forest before I saw him. It must be his. If you want to find him, take it. It might help.



I know it looks like a shield, but it's not. We'll need this to fight him in a few maps.

Anyway, look for some hot wolf action next time. It’s about damn time, too.

I remember thinking it pretty serious business back in the day. Too bad he goes down like a complete chump.

Well, I've been playing a lot of this game while procrastinating on my own LP, and I've finally gotten caught up with our host. Let's take another look at how the high-CF Team Tanto stacks up against the low-CF PANTSPlatoon.

I haven't recruited as many monsters as Alixsar, but I think I've promoted more Soldiers.



Magnus, Dio, Leia, and Ankiseth all have basically the same unit structure: Special character front row center, two identical front row characters on the flanks, a Diana, and a Priest. Magnus and Dio have Paladins, Leia has Freyas, and Ankiseth has Sword Masters. Magnus's Priest is Aisha, the first of the Zenobians.

Saradin, the second, has been integrated into Mulder and Scully's unit along with a random Siren. I think the Siren will become a Lich once I've got the right tools, to keep that unit's damage relevant.

Unit Four is Liedel's unit. She's got a Hydra in her unit, as well as a Dragon Master who is all kinds of kickass. (I think she's dodged more times than the rest of my platoon put together.) That Freya has good stats -- she's spent time as pretty much everything -- but I really wish there was some way to get her three attacks. This unit wants a Paladin or a Swordmaster on the front lines, but I don't have enough males.

Unit Six is my hodgepodge special characters unit. Asnabel, Meredia, Vad, Dr. McNinja, Rincewind. I didn't have any trouble raising Meredia: I just stuck her into a unit with a bunch of other characters who were underleveled, trained them for a while, then disbanded it and returned its characters to their former units. Meredia replaces a Diana who, while decent, was screwing up the alignment of this unit too much.

I stole the layout of Unit Seven from Alixsar... two Sirens, a Ninja Master, an Enchanter, and a Beast Master (who will become a Dragoon once I get the Sword of Tiamat -- I, too, only got one Valiant Mantle). The cool thing about this unit? The Sirens are named Lina and Amelia. The Ninja Master is named Zelgadis. The Enchanter is named Xellos, and my future Dragoon is Gourry. It just came to me in a fit of mad inspiration. This unit is probably my most powerful -- it's a little overleveled. Xellos was once a Soldier, and once he promoted to Fighter I had to train him a bunch of times to get his stats up to Enchanter level before he became too chaotic to be one. This whole unit is very Chaotic. Which suits the Slayers, I figure.

Unit Eight... Quezacoatl, Dragon Master, Troi-the-Paladin, and a Priest. Nothing much here. This unit can hold its own, but it's probably my weakest unit in terms of damage.

I've also got a stray Diana who's powerful enough to use, but currently doesn't have a slot. And, of course, Tenders the Giant Chicken.

Oh, and just so you can see what Alixsar is missing out on...



The big guy. Yeah, he's pretty powerful.

There’s been a slight change in plans. I've been doing some research regarding whether or not I can still recruit Europea with a low CF, and it turns out that CF may be irrelevant. Apparently if you go to Capitrium first, however, you can't get her. Possibly. I've seen a bunch of different people say a bunch of different things about this and I just can't remember what's true and what's not. If CF is a factor, then we won't get her. But if it isn't and we go to get her later and then we can't get her, I'ma-be-super pissed. So we're going to try and get Europea first just to be safe.

Protect the Hot Chick at All Costs: Vert Plateau



This map is pretty hugenormous. We'll send Sheen directly north over the river to scout ahead. Everyone else will split up and head north along the roads. Goofus needs to head to Fort Hillervich (the westernmost stronghold) to talk to Europea, so he'll be heading west with a few people.



Dio/Zinc/Leia are going to head north, Sheen is on his way to that stronghold, and Goofus/Tim/BJ are headed northwest. The weird thing about this map is that almost every unit has two dragons in it for no apparent reason. It’s Dragon MANIA!



See what I mean? Stupid Bahamut, casting Divine Ray on me. Dio ended up losing this fight, but we took out the leader and one of the dragons so this makes me wonder how this game determines who wins and who loses.

Ogre Battle 64: Well, he killed 2/3 of the party...so I guess he loses. Yeah, that makes sense.



Having a flying unit is really great. It's always good to know what we're getting into. Had I not known that legion was there, I would've left Lichald back at HQ...but now I know that we're going to need him. That Freya and Dragon Master unit that's standing in front of the legion are both headed our way, so we'll need to be ready for them. For now, Sheen is just going to stay put and monitor the situation.

And...we might be really screwed. Beef Jerky got criticalled four times in a row (which is bullshit, I might add) and died. I made Kotake the unit's leader and we can get them to the Witch's Den in the north...but this unit is essentially out of action until I can get there.



Zinc's new unit formation isn't the strongest ever, but it's great at shutting down enemy units. Look at how little damage we've taken after four battles. Zinc hasn't even been hit yet.



Well, looks like Zinc is developing a bit of a 'tude! Gnarly! Bodacious! Other early 90s slang!



Sheen tells me that the legion has started moving towards us. This looks like a job for Lichald! In the meantime, everyone will pull back to the stronghold near our HQ and wait for the legion to cross the bridge.

Dude, are you serious? We just found a Dragon Helm. What the hell is wrong with this game? We can only have one Dragoon. We had to do the quest to get the first one in order to open up the quests for the other pieces of Dragoon equipment. And now they give us a second one. Yasumi Matsuno is a sick, sick man.



In the west, Goofus is about to enter the fort where Europea is.



Meanwhile, in the south, we've managed to force the legion onto the bridge where Lichald will completely and utterly destroy them.



This is why you never keep Sword Masters in the back row. Their Sonic Boom attack does marginal damage at best, and it hurts the user. In this case, the SM killed himself with his own attack. This isn't the first time this has happened either. What a maroon!

Wow. We completely raped this unit. Lichald critcalled for 116 damage, WhiteMage and Maxwell used Atmosphere, Pancakes used Crag Press twice, and Wario attacked...and there goes the entire enemy unit.

Lichald took a lot of damage during the next battle, so I had him retreat. Dio and Leia will take care of what little is left of the legion.





Looks that legion was the only real resistance we'll encounter on this map. Sheen is headed to that stronghold near the enemy HQ, Zinc is right behind him, Tim is heading to secure the stronghold with the Witch's Den (with Kotake and the very dead BJ right behind), and Goofus is waiting to go to Fort Hillervich to talk to Europea. We'll find out if we can recruit her very shortly.



Go, White Fang, Go! I would've preferred for you to attack the FIRE dragons...but that's okay!

We've got one leaderless unit, one Enchanter/Golem unit, and a Dragon/Dragon Master unit. I think it's safe to go talk to Europea now.



Damn right. Who might you be, foxy lady?

Europea: My name is Europea. Until recently, I was captain of the Berthan Sentinels.
Goofus: Is it true that a Sentinel was possessed by a devil? Was he...was Archbishop Odiron really involved? Why? Why did he do that!?
Europea: The Sentinel who was possessed by the devil...she was under my command. That surge of magical energy was surely not of this world. But I still cannot believe it! She would never have done such a thing!! ...It must have been a mistake!

Yeah, she got possessed by the devil by accident!

Goofus: Surge of magical energy!? ...Just like that time. Same as Godeslas...do you know if she ate a fruit of some sort?
Europea: I'm sorry, I can't recall...but I do remember that she was invited to a banquet hosted by Sir Kerikov.

Absolutely no foul play here. None at all.

Goofus: General Kerikov...
Europea: Archbishop Odiron is a man of strong faith. He would never...never make a deal with the devil...Please! Let me go back to the Eastern Orthodox Church. I want to find out what really happened. I must know the truth.
Goofus: What would you do if the truth turns out to be what you fear the most?



Warrior maiden. That's...is that a contradiction? I think it might be.

Goofus: I see your determination, but it is dangerous. We should liberate this area first. Besides, your pursuers may be able to provide us with some information.
Europea: Thank you so much for trusting me. I will help you as much as I can. ...I will see you at Marrilaife Castle.

Similar to Yumil and Ankiseth (if you choose to talk to him beforehand), Europea appears on the map but you can't control her. That's why I waited until I had the map almost cleared before I initiated contact with her. We'll have this thing wrapped up in no time.



It's like a bunch of Vultures circling their prey. Only some of them have Pumpkins for heads.



Why does everyone talk about "intentions" in this game? Who the fuck cares? You guys are in a war against each other. Just fight already.

Fourierre: Our only order was to eliminate the fallen lamb. Why, then, do you interfere?

Lamb? If Europea is a lamb, then I would love to go fuck some sheep right now.

On a personal note, I hope my mom never sees this ever.

Anyway, this goes on for a while. Let's fight already!

And right as the fight begins, my emulator crashes on me. ARGH! Luckily I started this map before going to work and didn’t have time to finish, so I saved right before fighting the boss. We didn't really lose much of anything. This time I sent Lichald in to ensure the enemies' complete and utter humiliation. And sure enough, the boss went down in one turn. Thanks Lichald!

Lichald: You're welcome!



A new rapier. Alright, I'll take it. We got a real haul this map: a second Ice Sword and Sum Mannus, three new small shields (for Freyas/Centurions)...things worked out pretty well coming here first.



Europea: She does not exist for the benefit of any one person.

SHE!? Blaspheme!

Fourierre: Keep your ramblings to yourself!

Yeah, she's right! Screw you, blasphemer!

Fourierre: No matter what kind of power you hold, you won't stand a chance against the ultimate power...if you expect to move on...you'd better prepare...for...the worst...

The worst? I'm about to get a werewolf in one level. This game is about to get awesome.

No one ever does in this game.

Europea: I don't think we can go further by ourselves...Goofus, though it may not be much, we will do the best we can to help you.



Looks like CF isn't a factor after all. Europea is allegedly a "high CF" character but here we are with a CF of presumably 0 and we can get her. I'll take any hot chick who wants to join my battalion (and we had a request to recruit her earlier), so we'll take her.

Next time on Let's Battle Ogres, it's the moment you've (I've) all been waiting for...time to get a mother fuggin' werewolf!

But first...

Status Report



Normally Centurions are terrible, but Europea isn't half bad. Her attack strength is equal to Rumpus' and surpasses that of our Paladins/Sword Masters/Etc. Only Lichald is stronger than her (hell, without the Helm of the Fearless they're actually equally as strong). She has incredible magic defense to boot. To sweeten the deal, Europea comes with a pre-made unit of two Paladins (we'll keep them) and two Freyas (we won't keep them). If I can boost their alignment a little bit, I can make one of the Freyas into a Priest...but what to do with the other?



Here's what we'll do. Meredia will take Gillian’s place in Tim’s unit, allowing for her and Waffles to get some sweet, sweet combination magic going. Meredia is horribly underleveled but she’ll catch up eventually. Gillian will move into Europea’s unit. One of the Freyas will get removed and will sit on the sidelines. The other will either 1) become a Diana if her alignment doesn’t get any higher and she gains a level or two (and thus meets the requirements) or 2) become a Priest if her alignment goes up just a tiny bit more. The unit will work either way.

We may need to disband Sheen’s unit soon. They’re useful but very weak, so they may eventually get weak enough to the point of irrelevance. BJ’s unit is on thin ice too. I almost disbanded them and put Kotake and Koume in Europea’s unit…but BJ and Rumpus still make a decent team, so we’ll keep them around for now.

Names

We’ve got three new units that need names. I technically didn’t really use Serena much at all, so I’m going to name the Freya Serena. But that still leaves us with two Paladins who need names. Ideas?

Sidequestin'

Let’s go get Europea's special item, the Starry Sky. We need to head back to Fort Hillervich (where we found Europea) to get it.



Lady: ...Did you come back here for this? I've kept it so no one could get their hands on it.
Europea: ...Wonderful. I was expecting the worst. I had this with me when Archbishop Odiron found me. That is all I have of my past. Thank you very much.
Woman: No need to thank me. It wasn't much, really.

I like how the game switches from calling her Lady and Woman for no apparent reason.



Yet another new small shield. We'll give this one to Europea since, you know, it's hers.

Comparing Time

That's pretty standard for high-CF playthroughs. I've used that unit structure many times myself. The great thing about low-CF playthroughs are that you don't need to worry about things like that. That's why I can have a Pumpkinhead in a Lawful unit. Normally, having a massively Chaotic unit in a Lawful unit would screw up your chances to liberate an area, but since we're not worried about stuff like that, then there's absolutely no reason not to mix units of different alignments.

Seems decent enough. Once you find a Drakonite spellbook or two, this unit will become super-relevant.

Women make shitty fighters in this game. There's no way to get them three attacks (unless you put them in a unit with a Princess), and they're weaker than their male counterparts. It's really irritating sometimes.

That could work. I can't see who's in the back row of Unit Six, but if it's possible I would put the Dr McNinja back there to help out with combination spells. If there's already a mage back there, then nevermind.

That sounds like your version of Zinc's unit. It's not very strong, but it gets the job done with only a few people.

He is admittedly good...but we'll be getting Biske next map and he's equally as good during the night when he's in werewolf form. And in the meantime, we've been getting by on Lichald's sheer ridiculousness.



See what I mean? So we’re going to have this guy AND a guy who’s almost as good as Ankiseth. I’m not too upset about it.

Anyway, demons and werewolves next time. Get ready for it.

Uh...Lichald is actually pretty close, and most of his non-str stats are actually lower. Not to mention that he has a helmet.

Not that I'm complaining! Lichald seems to be 10 times the merciless warrior that his namesake ever seemed to be! This is the kind of guy who doesn't need some guy in tights to save him from Austrian Duke.

Names: I have no ideas, unfortunately. I don't think more Engrish Crusaders is going to cut it anymore. Old Japanese and Chinese guys? Ash Smashum? Queen?

Warrior Maiden is no contradiction! That's what Joan of Arc and most magical girls are!

Names: Jean and Ark! Or Jean and Luc and find something else to name Picard. ^_^

Awesome.

I think it's funny how the game keeps giving you people who can lead legions, and legions are so, so, so, so, so, so bad.

I’ve technically had this update done for two days now. I was going to update yesterday but I got called in to work, which obviously sucked. Now I’m back and I have today off instead. I’ll be playing the part for the next update today and it’ll go up sometime tomorrow (it should be a big one). But for now, get ready for some…

Fuckin’ Werewolves: Capitrium

This is it! Werewolf time! Are you excited? I'm excited. I'm really excited. Are you? You should be. Ooooh man, this is going to be great. Frickin' werewolf, man.



Hugo points out in the briefing that this area has a lot of undead. The undead are apparently rather protective of their homes, because each time we take a stronghold in this map, at least one enemy unit will spawn nearby. We'll need to keep everyone moving in groups in order to protect our strongholds. One unit will take the stronghold, the other will hold off any attackers.

The PANTS Platoon will move in three groups. Group one will head northwest, and then north and wait outside the enemy's HQ. Group two will head north while group three heads east. Group three will then head north, and then northeast to capture the stronghold in the very north. Group two will send half of its units over the bridge to the east to help group three and the other half over the bridge to the north to help group one.

Confused yet? Good!



Right off the bat we've got two units waiting for us. Great. Well, let's see what Europea can do! Sheen will take the flying unit on. Zinc will help them out. These three will be group two. Group three is Tim, Dio, and BJ. Group one is Leia, Goofus, and Lichald.

Still not confused? Come on, I'm trying really hard!



Heeeey! Not bad at all! Looks like Lichald has some competition!

The really annoying thing about the undead is that if you kill an individual undead character, but the rest of the unit lives, they will "regenerate" at the end of the battle and be back at full strength. Also, certain actions can change their classes. For example, fire spells will burn the skin off of a Zombie and turn it into a Skeleton.



See that Doll Master unit? That's what I was talking about. He wasn’t there when I went into that stronghold. That retreating Raven is a bit of a concern too.



I'm sorry for almost disbanding you, guys. You're still good. And that giant ponytail doesn't make you look stupid, Beef Jerky. I swear.



Eww, put that thing away! I told you already BJ; I don't swing that way.



We've now got half of the PANTS Platoon closing in on this one stronghold. Lichald/Leia/Goofus haven't run into a single enemy yet, and the central area is under Zinc's control.



Uh oh. A Freya. You know what that means, right? Cockatrices. I don't know why but this game loves to have Freyas lead Cockatrice units. Thankfully we've got Zinc nearby to help out.



See what I mean about Meredia? She'll gain a LOT more exp. than everyone else with every encounter. Eventually, she'll even out.



Things are still a mess over here. After taking the stronghold, a Beast Master unit spawned. Dio is on his way, but unfortunately so is an enemy Ninja Master...and we still have one more Raven to deal with. This is still a bit more hectic than I'd like. Things are going to get even more hectic-ier in the northwest in just a moment.

Why does this always happen? Pie nearly bought the farm, so I had Dio retreat...right into the Ninja Master. Ugh...I hate retreating.

Meanwhile, right in the middle of this heated battle, a Dragon shows up. I like how this game has decided to throw random encounters at me at the most arbitary times. I've played through this game without having a single neutral encounter before...and this is our, what? Fifth unplanned one? Ridiculous!

Things are under control now. There's a unit off screen in the north waiting for us to take that stronghold. The Cockatrice unit has begun to move towards us too. Time for Zinc's Paralyzing to do its stuff.



Crap. Crapcrapcrap! Leia's unit was able to take care of 2/3 of the Cockatrice unit, but Katreda and Jack got Petrified in the process. To make matters worse, two additional units spawned in when we took the stronghold. Zinc will take the one in the north, Goofus the west, and Lichald the east. See what I was saying about staying in groups?



Hmm. Maybe Lichald doesn't have any competition after all. I'd also like to take the time to point out that, while weaker than his contemporaries Maxwell and Pancakes, WhiteMage is pretty great too. He can stand to take a hit or two, and he's single-handily Guarded against more attacks than any other characters. And in addition to that, he opens up new combination spells for Pancakes and Waffles. Thanks for being all ninja-y, WhiteMage!



Hey, when did Zinc get that strong? That new sword really helps, apparently. Remember a while back why I picked an Earth Dragon and a Thunder Dragon? So that the Quetzacoatl could Paralyze all flying enemies and the Azhi Dahaka could use Earthquake on them? That just happened. Dreams can come true!



Five seconds later, we've got all of the enemy flying units running scared. One more stronghold in the east, and it'll be time to face Biske. We'll need to fight him during the day, otherwise he'll be a Werewolf and a kabillion times harder to kill.

...I...we just ran into ANOTHER Platinum Dragon. I'll take it, sure but...why are you doing this to me game? I don't need one Platinum Dragon, why would I want two!?



Dio and Europea make it to the eastern stronghold and Dracula's lesser known cousin Ladish decides to make an appearance. Unfortunately, he brought along his friends Witch/Pumpkinhead-themed unit and Diana/Amazon (why Amazons I don't know)-themed unit. Thanks, dick.

Ladish: You're velcome! Ah ha ha ha!

Dio was able to take out the Diana unit in one encounter, thankfully...but the Witch unit is right on our doorstep. Dio will need to take that one on since he has a healer to counteract the enemy's own Pumpkinheads. Europea can take that Vampire, I'm sure of it.



Meanwhile, I've been chasing this damn Raven for four years now. He's leaderless, but he keeps randomly wandering closer and closer to our HQ...which is obviously bad. Tim just finished hunting down another pesky Raven unit a second ago, so he's on his way back to our HQ. Can he make it in time?! Yes, he can because if I have Sheen stand still, then the Raven runs in circles rather than away from Sheen/towards our HQ.



Whew. Thankfully for us, Europea was able to use a Pedra before the enemy's backrow Pumpkinhead could strike. This unit will be a cinch now.



Perfect. Day broke and the Vampire had to go into his coffin. This is why Vampires suck. You can only use them half of the time. It's not like Biske where he's only okay half of the time and super godly the other half. Vampires simply shut the eff down. On the positive side of things, Vampires are essentially invincible in their coffins...but they can't attack or move so it's a real waste.

OHWHATTHECRAP

A wild Skeleton?! Are you serious? Another neutral encounter? I said these things were rare and now I get them all the time. This game is doing this just to make me look stupid.



That's what Vampires do. They attack you and heal themselves for the same amount of damage. It's good, but not worth the whole "can't move during the day" thing.

Anyway, Ladish dies...that Raven units dies...everything is dead. It's daytime, and that means Biske is back to his human form. Time to wrangle us a werewolf!

Me too, Biske. Me too.

Biske: You said you belong to the Revolutionary Army!? I don't know why you're here, but...thanks. They released me because you were approaching. But, they'll send me back if I don't kill you. Sorry, this is business!



So is this. Also, notice that WhiteMage fell asleep because the sword Biske is using has a sleep effect. I wish we had a sword like that!



Oh snap! Now we do! We found some other pretty good weapons this map. New hammers, new whips, new spears, and now a new sword. Thankfully, good equipment starts pouring in at this point in the game.



Pointless swearing? Rhade?! Is that you?

Obviously, we're having him join.

Biske: ...what!?
Goofus: I'd like you to join the Revolutionary Army.

For no good reason, I might add.

Goofus: We need strong warriors...like you.



Biske: The Goddess of fate likes irony. If you're that desperate for help, even from a monster...go ahead, count me in.

You see, Biske used to be a freedom fighter of some kind until Ankiseth defeated him and put him in jail. And now his son freed him and wants to fight with him. Touching, isn't it? Ah, but whatever. Who cares about that? We've got a werewolf!

Narrative: Tremos Mountains

This is the area we skipped before. Other things would've happened if we had gone there instead, but let's not worry about that for now.



This looks promising.

Yumil: ...let go of me, now!
Knight: Hold him still! Now, be a good boy. This won't take long.



You can't really tell, but the knight is forcing him to eat the fruit that normally turns people into Ogres/Demons etc.

Yumil screams and collapses. After turning purple for a bit...



Yumil straight up uses mind bullets to kill these guys. The screen flashes white, there's a weird laser noise, and then the Knights start dying.

Mari appears out of nowhere (thanks for the help, skank) and comforts Yumil after he warns her to stay away.



Yumil starts saying that his mind is flooding with someone else's memories and that it feels like someone is taking over his body. This is kind of important. Kind of really, super important. Mari tells him to embrace it and that she loves him blah blah blah. Just remember that Yumil is now super powerful for some reason and that he felt like someone else was taking over his body. That's all you need to know for now.

Status Report



But who cares? Right now, we've got a werewolf! A WEREWOLF. Well, okay...he's human now, but he becomes one. I remember him coming with a full unit, but I guess I was making that up. That means we need to make room for him, and that means that Asnabel is going away. As I've mentioned before, we only have room for one Dragoon and no more Black Knights. Wario has better stats than Asnabel, so he's our man. There's no sense keeping Asnabel on the front lines when he's just going to grow increasingly obsolete as time goes on. Biske is going to have to take his place. Biske uses a sword during the day, so we'll give him one of the two Sum Mannus. No sense in giving him something better than that if he can't even use it half of the time. This will also breathe some new life into Tim's unit. Tim now has himself (a decent attacker with good magic defense), Biske (a great attacker), two mages (who can cast Lava Shot), and a Grappler with a great back row attack. Tim's unit is about to get awesome, folks.

I also made Serena into a Priest. It'll help cut down on the items I need to use on Europea's unit. And boy did I have to use a lot of items this last mission.

I have a plan to save Sheen's unit, but it would mean losing Sheen's flying ability. I'm not sure if that's worth it or not. I'll need to think about this.

Names

I really like the Jean and Luc idea, so we'll go with that. I got bored and started trying to change special characters' names just to see what they'd say.



Slut.



Sorry dude, I just thought you might want to be called CasaBonita instead.



So meta.

Sidequestin'



By the way, here's Biske in Werewolf form. Right now Tanto's Ankiseth's stats are better, but Biske does similar damage and has oh-so-slightly better defense. In a few level ups, he'll be even better than Ankiseth...but only at night. But that's okay, I can deal with that.

Anyway, let's head to the town of Surina.

Nun: It's good to see you're doing well, Biske. Of course, anything is better than prison.



That's deep.

Biske: Sister, can you tell me why I'm different from others? Why me...Sister, aren't you afraid of me?



I could easily see this devolving into a bad porno.

Nun: Are you still frightened by your own strength?

No, I think he's frightened that he turns into a WOLF.

Nun: Appearance is unimportant. ...Does that make you different?

Yes.

Nun: Nobody in Capitrium thinks you're a devil. Everyone remembers when you courageously fought the Central Division.

Back story! Enjoy it, because like most of the other special characters, this is about it. The exceptions are Dio and Leia. Leia's got some backstory coming up, and Dio would've become more important if we had left him left...he also would've turned evil, though. Better to have him on our side!

What was I talking about again? Oh, right. Biske.

Nun: Archbishop Odiron asked me to give you this...it enhances it's owner's power. Please, keep this secret.



Jewel-nell-une. Right? I think that's how you say it. It boosts the wearer's STR a tiny bit, so we'll give it to Biske. It's his anyway, right?

Next mission is semi-story heavy, and more importantly, we’ll be able to finish the Dragoon and Lich quests. At some point I’ll cover what happens if you take the Tremos Mountains path instead, but I’m not sure when I’m going to do that. Look for the Dragoon/Lich tomorrow.

Today's mission seemed like Hot Topic threw up on it.

This is a really important map for us. Dragoons and Lichs, oh my!

The Eastern Church: Celesis

Prince Amrius and Kerikov are hanging out. Amrius is upset because he knows that the PANTS Platoon is on its way and demands that Kerikov tell him where the Temple of Berthe is. Kerikov admits to finding it, but...



Voice Offscreen: He is right. Show him the proper gratitude, Kerikov.



Uh oh. Looks like Kerikov is working with Lodis and Lodis has known about Procus/Amrius' scheme the whole time. Pruflas acts like a dick and tells Kerikov to stop the Revolutionary Army. Kerikov freaks out because he knows he can't stop us (he's right), but Pruflas doesn't even flinch.



Note: Lodisians are pricks.

Back at HQ, Hugo, Goofus, and Europea talk about what this "ultimate power" everyone is apparently looking for is (it's the power the founder of Palatinus received when he was blessed by the Goddess Berthe; he feared the power he had so he sealed it away in the Temple of Berthe), the true nature of the Berthan Sentinels (to guard the Temple), and whether or not any of this is true because this story has been passed on for generations as fairy tales. A messenger runs in and explains that Lodis has left Celesis and is heading south towards the Tremos Mountains. Europea mentions that the Temple of Berthe is supposedly hidden there. Goofus and the gang decide to liberate Celesis, talk to Archbishop Odiron, and then head after Lodis.



Simple enough. This map is actually similar to a larger Gunther Piedmont (See Episode 8). We'll send some units straight east (which, like Gunther, has more resistance), and some around the long way.



Europea, Tim, BJ, and Lichald take the harder route while everyone but Sheen takes the outer path. While Sheen himself is still pretty decent, Sheen's unit is really falling behind. I'm probably going to disband them soon.



Not particular reason to show this, I just wanted to show off the Evil Blade and the pretty forest.



Seriously? Another one? I'm getting sick of saying that I'm sick of seeing random encounters!



A new Greatsword! Hurray! This one is actually really damn good, so this is quite a find.



Whoa. WHOA. Paladins, Angel Knights, a legion...things are about to get kee-razy.



Meanwhile, nothing is going on in this area. We've seen two units so far. It's like they don't even care.