What the heck is on this $10 Retro Game handheld? Let’s find out!

[Dracula]

125. LODE RUNNER

I was thankful for Octo’s useful instructions to pick up the gold while avoiding the Bombermans. The title also finally made sense to me, that I was running through a cave, trying to collect a rich lode.

126. GHOSTBUSTERS

This is virtually the same as the Atari 2600 Ghostbusters game I remember from my youth, and honestly, they’re both terrible. You need to drive around town (dodging cars, because you lose money if you hit them), go buy ghost-catching equipment at the store, then search the various buildings for ghosts you can catch for cash. When the PKE meter gets high enough, you need to fight the Marshmallow Man.

Here's a bit of DEEP LODE RUNNER LORE: If you manage to clear the original Bomberman's 50 or so stages, there's a brief ending screen where Bomberman climbs up to the surface and transforms into the main character sprite from Lode Runner. So I guess he uses his newfound humanity to go steal gold from robots.

NES Ghostbusters is one of those commonly decried licensed games. It was designed by David Crane (same guy who designed Pitfall and A Boy and His Blob), and got ported to a large number of consoles. The NES, much less the Atari, weren't really up to the challenge of porting the somewhat complex game at the time. The Master System port does a much better job, in my opinion. It can be a pretty fun game if you can get into the swing of all the interlocking elements!

 

[Violentvixen]

I am loving this thread just because of how much history people on here know! This is really cool.

 

[Beowulf]

Volguard II is a cool, weird game. 1985 was a strange year for the Famicom. You saw lots of developers trying out new stuff for genres that weren't fully crystallized, so it feels like a bit of a wild west. In Volguard you can transform into a robot and get all sorts of power-ups, but the progression system is obtuse and weird. I actually have a copy in-box with the manual - maybe I'll see if I can translate some of the gameplay for this thread? If you'd like?

I am totally down for anything you'd like to add. I don't pretend to be an expert at any of these things; I'm just good at looking things up. I've learned a lot from this thread myself!

 

[MrBlarney]

I feel obligated to make a short clarification on Gomoku to state that it's not a simpler version of Go, it's an entirely different game that just uses the same equipment as Go does. "Gomoku Narabe" literally means "Line up five", and that's the goal of the game: players alternate placing stones of their color, seeking to be the first to get five of their stones in a row (including diagonally). There's a few additional rules that are frequently put in place in order to reduce the first player's advantage, but that's the basic gist of it. It's a good, classic game, and a part of the Clubhouse Games collection on Switch.

 

[WildcatJF]

128. 80 DAYS

Apparently this game is about Puss in Boots and is a movie tie-in. (And apparently there was a US version called Puss 'n Boots: Pero's Great Adventure? I’ve literally never heard of this.) It’s a side-scroller with the usual jumping and shooting mechanics. Given the timer, I’m guessing you’re trying to get as far as you can? I was having a hard time telling the power-ups apart (they all look like shoes or flags) but one of them makes you jump higher and one of them clearly gives you a big speed boost. I was doing okay avoiding all the fish on the big bridge and then there was a dragon that toasted me and sent me back to the start of the level.

I was planning to write a blog post on this for my Culture Clash! series on my blog a few years ago, and it's...a little wild. Probably should actually write it, haha. The US version is actually based on the lesser known anime sequel Puss 'n Boots Travels Around the World, and is extremely revised from its Famicom counterpart to the point it's almost a unique game. This revamp never made it out in Japan. Looks like you've got the Famicom version of this game, which looks a lot worse (and I believe plays a lot worse too, although the NA version is pretty rough in its own right).

Oddly enough, this did get adapted into Captain N: The Game Master as "Once Upon A Time Machine", and Pero and the villains were heavily modified to fit in with the animation style of the show. It also has a banging remix of the main theme from this game, apparently.

 

[lincolnic]

I am loving this thread just because of how much history people on here know! This is really cool.

Seconding this! It's been a great read so far.

 

[ShakeWell]

126. GHOSTBUSTERS

This is virtually the same as the Atari 2600 Ghostbusters game I remember from my youth, and honestly, they’re both terrible. You need to drive around town (dodging cars, because you lose money if you hit them), go buy ghost-catching equipment at the store, then search the various buildings for ghosts you can catch for cash. When the PKE meter gets high enough, you need to fight the Marshmallow Man.

Ghostbusters was designed by David Crane (yes, the Pitfall! guy, here he is on The Computer Chronicles talking about it), but from what I was able to parse when I made a video about the Master System port in 2014, it looks like that C64 original is the ONLY version he touched, and it kinda shows. However, the Master System version by Compile (yes, that Compile) is actually pretty fun. It looks a million times better and is much less tedious. It also allows you to keep a "bank account number" (read: password) so you can start with more money, which helps quite a bit.

 

[Beowulf]

129. ABSCONDEE

So, I think this is a cartoony, abstracted dungeon-delving game? You need to collect colored balls, activate switches and avoid traps. According to the bootleg wiki, this has also been called Adventurer, Panda and Super Mehica.

Apparently this and a lot of the simple original games and Atari ports are all credited to a company called Nice Code Software. Water Pipe (#117) was one of theirs, and I suspect we’ll see a lot more as time goes on.

130. DRAGON QUEST

…Nope, it’s yet another copy of the Japanese version of Adventure Island 3. Not even hacked or anything. Maybe they want us to believe the dinosaurs are dragons. (That’s 5 of these.)

131. ANGRY BIRD

A puzzle-platformer that’s a hack of the game Moai-kun, which changes the characters to birds of the angry sort. You need to push crates to rescue birds and knock out pigs; it’s very easy to get yourself inescapably stuck.

132. ANGRY BIRD3

This, on the other hand, seems to be a badly-made backport of actual Angry Birds. You load birds into a slingshot and try to knock over towers of pigs. (This is apparently also a Nice Code game. It’s much less complicated than the modern version; the angle of the slingshot seems to be the only thing you can change.)

 

[RT-55J]

brb learning chinese so i can land a dream job at nice code software

 

[Dracula]

Are you ready for way more information about High Mobility Combat Mecha Volguard II than you ever needed or wanted? Here we go!

First off, I don't think there is a "Volguard I" game. I think the "II" is just referring to the model of mech, as detailed by the thrilling backstory, translated from the game manual:

In the Year 20XX, the revolution on Earth begins…

By the result of humanity’s development, scientific weaponry was born. Damage from our wars stretched to other planets. In 19XX, the advanced civilization which taught us our culture was still watching over us. They installed a gigantic computer, “Zuigam Bold,” to control humanity. However, over time, from among mankind were born those who were not affected by the computer’s control sound waves. They united and remodeled a high-mobility combat mechanism designed by their distant ancestors, naming it “Volguard II,” and launching it.

The enemy computer's name, by the way, isn't written out in English anywhere in the manual (although lots of other names are), so I'm guessing at the romanization. It's spelled ズイガム ボルド (zuigamu borudo).

Anyway, on to the controls!

As Jet Fighter:

• + Button: Moves in eight directions.
• A Button: Fires missiles.
• B Button: When Unit 2 is attached, transforms into robot.

As Robot:

• + Button Up: Jumps.
• + Button Right: Advances.
• + Button Down: Squats.
• + Button Left: Retreats.
• A Button: Fires missiles.
• B Button: Attacks with a punch. Also, while jumping, press while at the highest level to transform to jet fighter.

This is all fairly easily figured out in the midst of gameplay, but there's some weird requirements for transforming into a robot, as you'll soon see.

How to Play:

• You begin the game only with Unit 1. As you proceed through an area, Unit 2 will fly in, surrounded by friendly jet fighters. After combining with Unit 2, you can transform into a robot. (The position where you can combine with them is noted in the illustration.)
• Unit 2 has been mass produced and installed in various places around the planet, but because it is made of a different material than Unit 1, if an enemy collides with it, it will be destroyed.
• You can attach four types of options, depending on power: Rapid fire, 8-way missiles, laser, and barrier. You must destroy the gigantic computer “Zuigam Bold” in various places around the world by properly using the jet fighter, the robot, and the four options.

As far as I can tell, the friendly units showing up with Unit 2 in tow is a scripted event, and there's no particular way to trigger it. I like the in-universe explanation for why Unit 2 gets blown up before Unit 1. Here's the illustration noted in the text:

Now onto the weird stuff.

The Power Gauge and the Damage Meter

• Power Gauge

Decreases when struck by enemy shots, but increases as you destroy enemies.
At “A”: Cannot use above-ground missiles.
At “B”: Cannot transform into robot.
At “C”: Lose options.
At “D”: Can equip the four options.

• Damage Meter

Displays your damage according to colors. Goes from 0~49 (blue) > 50~89 (yellow) > 90-99 (red). At 99, if you’re struck by a bullet, it’s game over.

I should have taken a photo of the manual page here, but effectively, the lower your power gauge (the long bar on the top of the screen), the less ability you have to defend yourself. The letters A~D aren't shown on the screen, but "D" is about three-quarters of the bar full. Past that point is a multicolored area, which we'll get to shortly. The damage meter is on the top right corner of the screen.

Attach Options!

• Options

Destroy a few radars either in midair or on the ground, and the friendly energy transport shuttle appears. When the arrow appears on the rear part of the shuttle, convert Volguard II to flight form and fly close to it. If the damage meter value is at half, and the power meter is at “D” or higher, options can be attached. Which option is available depends on the power gauge.

Options include…
At level 1: Bullets become rapid-fire shot.
At level 2: Bullets become 8-way missile.
At level 3: Bullets become lasers.
At level 4: Barrier becomes available.

* It’s possible to install options in combination, but some combinations can’t be installed at the same time.

I think the text means "if the damage meter is at at least half", but I don't remember and the syntax isn't clear to me. I'm pretty sure you don't need to have lost half your life points to power-up. Basically you need to stay healthy and powered long enough to kill a few radar enemies so the shuttle shows up, and then the more power the shuttle gives you, the better option you get.

Incidentally, the game is extremely proud of the four-option system. It's called out on the front of the box with a big stylized "4" and half of the copy on the back of the box is dedicated to describing the options.

The radar enemies are called out on the next page...

Don’t Miss These Characters!

Enemy Radars
After destroying either midair or ground radars, the friendly energy carrier shuttle flies in. If you pass through without destroying at least four radars, the enemy attacks will be intense, so watch out!

Extra
A friendly character who restores lost power. If it appears, be sure to grab it!

Dam
The enemy’s energy tank. In robot form, if you destroy it with a punch, you’ll regain energy!

And here's the manual page, which helpfully shows the enemy names in English alongside the kana:

I didn't translate the rest of the manual, but there's like five more pages of enemies which I thought you might enjoy!

"Enemy Characters"

pickle

"Memorize the enemy's attack patterns!!"

The note over DONG and SHIMMON says "Shoot these enemies and they transform!"

A wild Moai head appears! And I think this game predates Gradius???

Left note: "Touch these and it's GAME OVER!"
Right note: "These arrive by enemy transport shuttle!"

"Medium-sized enemy base, appear!"

And finally, this page shows off Zuigam Bold, which is a pretty large and impressive boss battle for an early FC game.

Also the damn thing just sprays bullets at you. I think I've gotten past it a couple of times (you fight them on multiple occasions), but it feels pretty overwhelming at first.

Anyway hope you enjoyed this little foray into a very obscure and unloved FC title. There's a few more pages of manual, including a "tips" page, which I may also translate at some point.

 

[muteKi]

re: that big computer thing, "zuigam board" seems like the choice here, a la "circuitboard"

 

[Dracula]

re: that big computer thing, "zuigam board" seems like the choice here, a la "circuitboard"

Mmmmmmaayyyybe, but "board" is usually treated as ボード. The "ru" in there points to some other intention. But who knows.

 

[MetManMas]

131. ANGRY BIRD

A puzzle-platformer that’s a hack of the game Moai-kun, which changes the characters to birds of the angry sort. You need to push crates to rescue birds and knock out pigs; it’s very easy to get yourself inescapably stuck.

132. ANGRY BIRD3

This, on the other hand, seems to be a badly-made backport of actual Angry Birds. You load birds into a slingshot and try to knock over towers of pigs. (This is apparently also a Nice Code game. It’s much less complicated than the modern version; the angle of the slingshot seems to be the only thing you can change.)

An Angry Birds hack of an existing game and a bad 8-bit knock-off of the actual Angry Birds? This is the device that keeps on giving!

 

[Beowulf]

133. ADVENTURES OF LO

I think I was first introduced to Lolo via Nintendo Power, but never spent any real time on the game. I was mostly entertained by the attempts to shoehorn him and Lala into the Kirby series (including the cartoon show) that seemed to all fall flat.

134. ADVENTURES OF LO

I don’t think I realized/remembered that the intro to Lolo 2 was exactly the same as Lolo 1; it’s just a different level pack.

135. AETHER CRUISER

An arcade-style shoot-em-up with a weird pseudo-3D thing going. Left and right move your ship along the bottom of the screen, but up and down scroll the screen. Enemies sometimes come “down”, but also sometimes come “out”. Killing a certain number of enemies gets you to the next level, but I think it’s just a “play until you lose and get a high score” game.

136. AIM CRUISE

This is a single-screen shoot-em-up. You’re the green spaceship and can move in four directions but only shoot left and right. Again, you seem to increase levels after a certain number of kills. The enemies drop spinning coins that seem to be the “A” coins that tally in the upper-right, but I don’t know if they do anything.

137. AIR

A weird and cruel SMB hack. You get 1 life, and are immediately forced into a narrow passage that has fake blocks that seem to prevent you from continuing. Then a piranha plant you need to run under (through a fake pipe), then a kaizo-style tunnel of death. That’s as far as I got. (I'm guessing this was intended to be played with save states, which this device doesn't support.)

 

[Octopus Prime]

For a minute we were on an upswing. Then it gets weird again

 

[Sarge]

For a minute we were on an upswing. Then it gets weird again

Yep. Lolo is pretty darn fun. I played through the first game... last year, maybe? Even if you figure out the puzzle, the game requires solid execution in the later levels. It can get quite challenging.

 

[RT-55J]

Air is a very early kaizo hack that expects you to puzzle through it with savestates and constantly make use of glitches to proceed. It's not really playable by any means, but it does make for an interesting TAS IIRC.

Wondering what other weird SMB1 hacks will pop up in this. Mario vs Airman?

 

[Sarge]

Wondering what other weird SMB1 hacks will pop up in this. Mario vs Airman?

That would be interesting - weirdly enough, I ended up obtaining a repro of that hack with some other games over at the Racketboy forums. Not something I ever expected to have a physical copy of, ha!

 

[Beowulf]

Air is a very early kaizo hack that expects you to puzzle through it with savestates and constantly make use of glitches to proceed. It's not really playable by any means, but it does make for an interesting TAS IIRC.

Wondering what other weird SMB1 hacks will pop up in this. Mario vs Airman?

Well, after watching that, I'm glad I didn't spend any more time on it. That's nuts and I don't think even the first stage is actually beatable by an unassisted human.

 

[Dracula]

The Lolo games have all sorts of weird regional disparities. Famicom has a game called "Adventures of Lolo," and on the surface it's the same as the game we got as "Adventures of Lolo 2," with the same cutscenes and tilesets and so forth, but the level designs are completely different. So what you have on this machine is those two games, I think.

Incidentally, the earliest Lolo games were called "Eggerland," which I always thought was a cute title.

 

[FelixSH]

I find it really funny and weird, that there are kaizo games on this. But then, considering there are a lot of romhacks, I shouldn't be surprised.

Also, ich you have any interest in puzzle games, give the Lolo games a real shot. They are really, really good. I'm surprised to find them so deep down among these other weird games. I guess they are just too forgotten? I would really like to play a new one. Maybe I should try the japanese ones, at some point. But a really new game would be nice.

 

[Beowulf]

138. AIR ALERT

Another vertical-scrolling shoot-em-up, which feels very similar to #114 Twin Bee, including the bomb shot to hit ground-based enemies. The reason is because this is a hack of Xevious, which TwinBee was apparently based on. The graphics are weird (especially the invulnerable psychedelic flipping triangles) which was what first made me wonder if this was a hack.

139. AIRWAY

This is another copy of Xevious with a different set of weird graphics.

140. ALADDIN3

This is a side-scrolling shoot-em-up, and apparently a title-screen hack of Magic Carpet 1001. I couldn’t make it far enough to reach the boss, but apparently there are four stages and a princess (or something) to rescue.

141. CROSS PACIFIC

Adventure Island 3. (That’s 6 of them.) I mean, there’s nothing saying that island isn’t in the Pacific…

142. ALICE COOPER

This is another SMB hack. As far as I can tell it’s purely graphical, replacing several tilesets, making Mario into Alice Cooper, and replacing some enemies and power-ups. The levels are unchanged.

 

[Violentvixen]

142. ALICE COOPER

This is another SMB hack. As far as I can tell it’s purely graphical, replacing several tilesets, making Mario into Alice Cooper, and replacing some enemies and power-ups. The levels are unchanged.

Whaaaaaaat! I have no idea what that Goomba has been turned into, but I'm assuming the other swaps are metal-related?

 

[Kirin]

That is certainly a choice for a random Mario re-skin. Wow.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Every time I think I can’t be more surprised, this thing proves that, no, I can

 

[RT-55J]

...it just occurred to me that it's a practical inevitably within the next decade that this year's most yikes-errific Adventure Island hack will appear on one of these famiclones.

(Not on this one, of course.)

 

[Octopus Prime]

Boy, that does not seem to be the right time or place for skateboarding

 

[Kirin]

...it just occurred to me that it's a practical inevitably within the next decade that this year's most yikes-errific Adventure Island hack will appear on one of these famiclones.

I .... yeah .... okay .....

I can't help but be morbidly curious where the creator's mind was at on a sincere/ironic spectrum with this one. Is this just commitment to a bit? The world may never know.

 

[Dracula]

I'm just impressed at how they were able to pixel-edit "Island" into "Fireflies."

A note on Xevious, since we're probably not done with Xevious clones. This is a game that nobody that I knew ever talked about, and when I tried it out the first time, I thought it was bland as hell. So I was fascinated to learn about how this game was monumentally popular in Japan, where it was seen as the next step in evolution from Space Invaders. Many developers of the FC era have cited Xevious as the reason they got into video games and what prompted them to try out a Famicom, so they could play the game at home. I think the game found some level of popularity in American arcades. But the NES port, which was ground-breaking on Famicom in 1984, felt primitive and boring when it came overseas a few years later.

 

[MetManMas]

Much like the first Dragon Quest game and The Tower of Druaga, Xevious strikes me as one of those "had to have been there" games. It's certainly not one of the first scrolling shooters or even one of the first popular ones, but it was in the right place at the right time and ended up being an inspiration on a lot of game designers.

The games derived from it might be preferable, much like Galaga (Space Invaders derivative with dynamic flight formations and power-ups) compared to its predecessor* Galaxian (basically Space Invaders without barricades), but it's still an important stepping stone and nostalgia is one helluva drug.

* Well, actually predecessors. King & Balloon was basically "What if Space Invaders but escort quest" and a fine line can be drawn from its balloon-bound enemies sweeping down to kidnap the king to the flight formations of Galaga's alien forces.