Raindrops in Sewers, and Yarn Spewing Kittens
Bright copper armor on Atomic Chickens
Blue tinted vacuums shot full of rings
These are a few of my Wilyest things
Red Puckapellers and green Puckapellis
Doors that you jump through and dogs that are submarines
Eagles that fly with the storm in their wings
These are a few of my Wilyest things
Girls from Russia with who I have stolen
Snowbots that slay, and make balls that are rollin'
Electric white clouds that can't damage Springs
These are a few of my Wilyest things
When the Rush jets bites, when the bee stings
When my science is mad
I simply remember my Wilyest things
And then I do feel so bad
Bright copper armor on Atomic Chickens
Blue tinted vacuums shot full of rings
These are a few of my Wilyest things
Red Puckapellers and green Puckapellis
Doors that you jump through and dogs that are submarines
Eagles that fly with the storm in their wings
These are a few of my Wilyest things
Girls from Russia with who I have stolen
Snowbots that slay, and make balls that are rollin'
Electric white clouds that can't damage Springs
These are a few of my Wilyest things
When the Rush jets bites, when the bee stings
When my science is mad
I simply remember my Wilyest things
And then I do feel so bad
Well, that old calendar on my wall says it's the middle of November. Dracula has laid his head down for a long winters nap, the ghost of Bob Marley is telling old maids about how wonderful their life is and you can get a *great* deal trading hair for watches. And, if I'm reading the newspaper right... DR. WILY HAS ATTACKED THE NORTH POLE WITH AN ARMY OF EVIL ROBOT MASTERS!!!
That can only mean it's MEGAMAS, The Most Secular Time of Year! The Festival of Fights! Arguably The Most Important Holiday on the collective Talking Time Calendar. A time when we all come together and BLOW ROBOTS APART!
"But what IS a Megamas? And how do I help?" you're probably asking yourself. And if so, you should really pay more attention, I make this same thread every year!
Santa, not trusting automation in any form, has a natural and deathly fear of robots, and because he's built SO MANY evil robots over the years, and because he has a lifetime position on the Naughty List for trying to take over the world a whole bunch of times, Dr. Wily has exploited this by attacking Santas Workshop with Evil Robot Masters. The only way to improve Santas mental state to the point he can successfully crawl out form under his bed where he's cowering like a little baby, is if we come together and blow apart at least 900 Robot Masters between now and when he has to make his BIG DELIVERY on Christmas Eve. All I ask is that you tell me how many robots you've put down because there's a LOT of Mega Man games and I absolutely can not keep track of how many are in each game.
But maybe that's not clear enough for you? Maybe you need things to be spelled out REAL CLEARLY! Luckily, I love the sound of my fingers tapping away on a keyboard so I'm happy to offer that very service!
1. Well wait just a second, bucko. Mega Man? Which Mega Man? I need limits in my life or I suffer from choice-paralysis!
Round these parts, we use the Websters Dictionary definition of a Mega Man game; which is to say "Any video game that looks like Mega Man if you squint". So besides the actual Mega Man series of games, you've got Shovel Knight, or 20XX, or Gravity Circuit or Krion Conquest or whatever the heck!
2. Okay, that's a very concrete definition, but what kind of enemies count for the tally?
We're just looking for Robot Masters, or their nearest regional equivalent. Not fortress bosses. A good rule of thumb is that if it's roughly your size and/or gives you a copy of their weapon when you beat them, it counts.
3. Well this won't take long at all, you fight all the bosses twice in a Mega Man game!
Hold on there skippy! It's once per boss fight per game. If there's a rematch that feels appreciably different you can count it multiple times. So Dark Man from MM5 counts for 4, and Doc Robot counts as 8, for example.
4. Someone told me Megamas is actually about Jesus Christ, but I don't remember him being in any of the games. Is he Japan-only?
Mega Man X was buried under rubble for 100 years and after when he emerged his ethereal father granted him, among other fantastic abilities, the power to run on water. You tell me.
5. What do E Tanks taste like?
Wassail.
6. Is it a Mouth or a Nose?
It's an Air Tiki.
And that's all you need to know. Now Get Equipped with some Jingle Bells and fight for everlasting peace on Earth and goodwill to Mega Men
