maybe I do somewhere in the depths of my memory, but it would take a long time to think of a story like that.
Most of my use of patience involves waiting for the person on the other side to finish talking. It's amazing how much letting someone complete their own thought will lead to a better outcome when you reply, no matter how much they share that's irrelevant or insulting. However, my best patience story with a customer is not one of listening endlessly, but one of silence.
When you work customer service long enough, you eventually realize that a certain small but memorable number of customers will be impossible to please; they'll either want something that you can't give, or they'll be dissatisfied even if you give them exactly what they
say they want because what they really wanted was to express their frustration and leave the conversation feeling righteously indignant for the slight against them.
This customer was one of the former. I sell tickets to performing arts events. She wanted a product I did not have (an opera my company was not producing that year), sold to her in a way that I could not sell it (as part of a subscription, despite the fact that she only wanted this one show), at a price that was not available (discounted because we hadn't put it in our season in the first place), delivered in an unrealistic timeline (because we couldn't produce an opera at the drop of a hat for one patron). She also wanted a seat in the front row in a "seat" that was actually a space for a wheelchair, because she was upset that this seat had been turned into a wheelchair space to comply with ADA regulations several years back.
When I told her what she asked for wasn't something that we could offer and listed the alternatives, she was enraged, and demanded I change the Opera seasons. I gave her the contact method for the Director of Opera, who made final programming decisions, and she said "Thank you, now change the shows, please."
Me: "I'm sorry ma'am, I can give you the contact information for the Opera Director, but I have no authority or ability to change the shows we're presenting. I can only sell tickets to the shows after they've been determined."
Her: "I'll wait."
(at least 60 seconds of silence)
Me: "Ma'am, are you still there?"
Her: "Yes, have you changed the opera yet?"
Me: "No ma'am, that's not possible. I can transfer you to the Director of the Opera's voice mail if you'd like to leave a comment."
Her: "That's all right, I'll wait."
Me: "...I'm a little confused, ma'am. I'm happy to sell you tickets to any of the shows we are presenting, but I can't change the season and there wouldn't be any point in waiting."
Her: "I'm happy to wait for you to do your job, and if you can't I'm happy to take your job instead."
At this point it was clear that the woman wanted me to hang up on her so that she could complain that I had done so, and presumably use that as the start of a personal campaign to get me fired. (This was completely irrational and impossible; I am the director of the department that runs our box office, she had been escalated to me through two other layers, and the Executive Director who would ostensibly fire me knows exactly who I am and how I operate, and she nearly fell out of her chair laughing when I shared this incident with her later, because WHO WOULD GET FIRED FOR NOT SELLING A THING THEY DIDN'T HAVE?).
But I was also not about to let her break me for being completely reasonable. So I responded: "That's absolutely fine, ma'am. If you'd like time to look at your options from the shows we do have, I'm happy to stay on the line with you until 5pm today when we close. I will be here and I'm happy to answer any of your questions, but I do want to be clear that we won't be changing any of the shows today and I have no ability to make that happen."
Her: "So you refuse to change the show?"
Me: "I'm afraid it's beyond my ability."
Her: "I've got time."
Me: "All right, let me know if you have any questions."
I put the woman on speaker and went about some other work that didn't involve patron calls. After five minutes, I asked "Ma'am, are you still there?" and she responded with a "yes" that was dripping with venom. "All right, let me know if you have any questions."
We danced this dance, I kid you not, for over 30 minutes (this was after at least 20 minutes of discussion with me prior to the abusive silence). After the third five-minute check-in, I let her know that I'd let her tell me when she was ready to continue. Somewhere between minute 30 and 40, out of nowhere, she yelled "WELL THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" And hung up the phone.
I couldn't have agreed with her more.