Talking Time's Top 50 Office Supplies

[Violentvixen]

Honestly I never would have imagined that we could trace something as primordial as a sticker to a single person, nor would I have imagined it'd be that recent of an invention. And I'm super familiar with the Avery corporation, because I've had to assemble documents and the special types of paper or dividers you need for jobs like that almost always end up being Avery material.

Anyway, my personal laptop is covered in stickers, but I'm a little more conservative with the company property. Even so, I have two stickers adorning my cubicle cabinet at work, and they're both from a fellow Dracula.

Yeah, I put "sticker labels to print on" as my actual vote. Avery 5160 for life.

Seriously, one day the printer network was down and I had to initiate stability (putting powder into LOTS of small bottles) without these and wanted to quit my job.

 

[Kirin]

I definitely know that logo, we used tons of Avery templates at my previous job. Labels to go on hardware (serial numbers, laser radiation warnings, logos), labels to go on bags for product shipping, labels for dividers for hard-copy instruction manuals, labels for software CDs...

 

[Ixo]

Printable labels are great, until the corner of one catches in the print rollers.

Then they're not so great.

 

[Mogri]

#31
Wipes

Score: 64 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 9th (Violentvixen)​

Two of our voters mentioned Kimwipes specifically -- lab-quality paper towels. The remaining voter called out desk and screen wipes:

Things get dusty.

Which means that, technically, no one voted for baby wipes, but sometimes you have to chase the opportunity that Google Image Search gives you.

 

[Mogri]

Whoops! I've once again neglected to post the weekend entry. Well, here you are, and we'll be back tomorrow with our regular entries.

#110 (tie)
Door

Score: 23 - Votes: 1 - Highest vote: 13th (Bulgakov)​

Being able to close out other people so you can focus? Priceless.

I couldn't agree more.


"Hey, do you have a weird door-related story?" You bet I do! Jeff Bezos started Amazon out of his garage, with only a dollar and some gumption. Because he didn't have any venture capital, he had to make a desk out of a door laid flat. To this day, Amazon employees use door desks, even though they actually cost more to produce than a normal desk.

 

[Daikaiju]

Gotta admit, some pretty out there entries on this list.

 

[Bulgakov]

I'm not coming out of my office until someone else votes for door!

 

[Droewyn]

I learned in high school. But I don't exactly remember how. I don't think it was via Mavis but I think my school used a cheap knockoff or something like that. My technique was OK but I think I have picked up some weird and bad habits over the years.

Way LTTP, but I learned how to type in high school, on some very old manual typewriters. The teacher flat-out refused to use PCs or even word processors for this, because she wanted to SEE our mistakes.

 

[Droewyn]

#46 (tie)
Ketchup packet

Score: 48 - Votes: 2 - Highest vote: 2nd (JBear)​

Blame yourself or God.







What's the most egregious use of ketchup you've witnessed -- or, indeed, performed?

My very first job was working at an Arby's in a mall, where there were still bottles of condiments on the tables (Arby's and Horsey sauce, obvs, but also ketchup) and also little disposable aluminum(?) ashtrays. Aspiring artists used to draw little designs in/on the ashtrays using the condiments on the reg. And that? That was fine, because we could just throw them away, but when they graduated to "decorating" food trays or the tables themselves, that's when the bottles went away for good.

 

[Droewyn]

#44 (tie)
Pencil sharpener

Score: 50 - Votes: 2 - Highest vote: 7th (Johnny Unusual)​

Do you prefer the speed of an electric sharpener or the satisfying action of a manual sharpener?

EL SACAPUNTAS!

aka my favorite Spanish word because it sounds absolutely vile and is SO satisfying to shout at someone.

Also, definitely electric. The manual ones we had in school tended to be extremely uneven and turned your pencil into a splinter trap.

 

[Droewyn]

#44 (tie)
Second monitor

Score: 50 - Votes: 2 - Highest vote: 7th (JBear)​

But did you know that you don't have to limit yourself to just two? I have four on my desk if you include the laptop, although one is hooked up to a PC I'm not currently using. Arguably I should, like, move it or something.

Show me your ridiculous monitor setups.

At my last company, I had FIVE screens. Well, a PC with three, and a laptop with one spare. One time my supervisor went on vacation... and it was a truth universally acknowledged that every time that particular supervisor left the office for more than a day, EVERYTHING broke. Except that time. So we decided to prank her by texting her photos of disasters. One of them involved fake blood. Mine? I changed my desktop wallpaper to the BSOD error on all five screens.

 

[Droewyn]

I have never managed to consume a sufficient amount of caffeine to notice any impact on my body whatsoever, and believe me, I have *tried* (I am perpetually tired). As far as I can tell, it's all just hot water.

Personal question (feel free to not answer), but are you ADHD? Because wonky reactions to stimulants is definitely a symptom! Caffeine makes me go to sleep, so I have to wake up in the morning the old-fashioned way: obscene amounts of sugar.

 

[Torzelbaum]

I changed my desktop wallpaper to the BSOD error on all five screens.

Was it the same error or a different one for each screen?

 

[Droewyn]

#36 (tie)
Tape dispenser

Score: 58 - Votes: 2 - Highest vote: 4th (Daikaiju)​

What is PEZ without a dispenser? It's just a fairly bad candy. But dispensers -- oh my. Now that's an industry.

I'm not saying that dispensers serve the same role for tape. However, there's a reason the iconic black dispenser is such an office staple. (Hey, I think I just realized why they gave the store that name.)

PEZ is delicious, I buy it in 5-lb bags from Amazon, and I demand satisfaction for this insult!

(tape dispensers are pretty great, though. Mine is from the 1970's and I'm pretty sure it's made out of solid lead for how much it weighs)

 

[Droewyn]

#33 (tie)
Gel pen

Score: 62 - Votes: 2 - Highest vote: 4th (Issun)​

Heck yes, gel pens. I was the other voter here. Look at these colors! And the pen-to-paper feel is so good! The fact that gel pens did not rank more highly is not an indictment of gel pens so much as a reflection of the fact that they were destined for greater tasks than office work.

Gel pens are amazing but as I am a southpaw they jam on me too often to really be feasible for everyday use. (Something about pushing the ball instead of pulling it messes with the ink flow?)

 

[Droewyn]

Was it the same error or a different one for each screen?

Same. 1. We *were* fucking around on work time, and 2. It's not like she could read the individual errors anyway.

 

[JBear]

Personal question (feel free to not answer), but are you ADHD? Because wonky reactions to stimulants is definitely a symptom! Caffeine makes me go to sleep, so I have to wake up in the morning the old-fashioned way: obscene amounts of sugar.

Not that I'm aware of!

And since you mention it, I have also never noticed any reaction to high volumes of sugar either.

 

[Ixo]

"Hey, do you have a weird door-related story?" You bet I do! Jeff Bezos started Amazon out of his garage, with only a dollar and some gumption. Because he didn't have any venture capital, he had to make a desk out of a door laid flat. To this day, Amazon employees use door desks, even though they actually cost more to produce than a normal desk.

I'm having a strange sense of deja vu. ...eh, it's probably nothing.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Or do you mean doorja vu?

 

[Violentvixen]

Or do you mean doorja vu?

A+

 

[Mogri]

#30
Folder

Score: 68 - Votes: 4 - Highest vote: 16th (Torzelbaum)​

Useful for when you need to bring documents to or from the office.

OK, here's my hot take: folders are basically clipboards for when you don't want anyone seeing the top page. Sure, that breaks down once you stick them in a filing cabinet or something.

...Maybe that's a bad take. Here's my other hot take: school folders are more fun than manila folders. They have three places you can put things, too: front pocket, back pocket, and the middle bit.

That said, my cold take is that the Manila folder is an enduring classic, and for good reason.

The Manila folder was invented in 1930 in the Phillipines. It derives its name from the Manila hemp used to produce it. Of course, Manila hemp gets its name from the capital of the Phillipines, where it grows abundantly.

 

[WisteriaHysteria]

OK, here's my hot take: folders are basically clipboards for when you don't want anyone seeing the top page.

If you want a clipboard and don't want people to see the top page, you can get clipboards that have foldable covers. They are my clipboards of choice.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Here's what I had to say about Manila folders:

Manila folders - Nice way to hold and organize papers without having to punch holes in them and they don't make me feel like I'm back in school.

folders are basically clipboards for when you don't want anyone seeing the top page.

But it's hard to write on a folder without some kind of hard surface for support.

 

[JBear]

But it's hard to write on a folder without some kind of hard surface for support.

Yeah, that's the big divide IMO. Folders are for moving documents, while clipboards are for writing.

 

[Kirin]

In my old job a had a drawer full of the kind of folders with litter metal hangers on the edges, designed to hang vertically in a filing cabinet drawer with rails down the sides. There was a *lot* more paper involved in my old job than my current one, where I honestly only occasionally deal with things printed or written down on paper at all, which doesn't leave me with much need for folders.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Folders are for moving documents

Yes but they're also for storing and sorting them.

 

[Daikaiju]

And forgetting!

 

[Mogri]

#29
Hole punch

Score: 74 - Votes: 3 - Highest vote: 9th (Johnny Unusual)​

Nice, compact way to punch holes. Can be fun to play with.

Oddly satisfying. A source of confetti.

The single-hole punch beats out the three-hole punch, which came in 107th with only two votes. Arguably, I should have combined them, which would have moved this up a few places but not really shaken things up too much.

So I ask you: why punch one hole when you could punch three? Is it the versatility that appeals to you, or is it perhaps the feeling of this little device in your hand?

The single hole punch was patented in 1886 in Germany. The office as we know it is really more of a turn-of-the-century innovation; in the 19th century, the hole punch was primarily used for punching tickets.

 

[Torzelbaum]

I think it is the versatility and freedom of the single hole punch. You can punch a hole wherever you want using one of those. With the three hole variety there is one and only one way you can punch holes. And I guess there also is the tactile aspect since you hold it in your hand instead of just pressing down on a shared device. Also I feel like this is one of the few items that works fine no matter what hand you use but I could be wrong about that.

(I had it at #11 on my list.)

 

[Kirin]

Given a lot of the mid-list results here, I'm honestly a little surprised by just how many of people's office jobs evidently still involve a whole lot of paper.