Easy A - Inspired by the late-90s trend of doing classic literature as teen drama but late enough to be even more meta about it, we have Emma Stone doing modernized The Scarlet Letter. This is super fun. Stanley Tucci makes everything better and never plays a character who is 100% straight. As an example of it being clever: A boy asks out the main character and references Sylvia Plath. She comments that if they run out of things to talk about, they can stick their heads in an oven. The fact that he doesn’t get it foreshadows the entire next scene perfectly.
Happiest Season - It’s not the queer holiday movie that we wanted, but it is absolutely the queer holiday movie we deserved. That is, I’m not making any arguments that it’s particularly good. It’s a by-the-numbers Hallmark-channel Christmas romcom, just the main characters are all gay, and I think that’s dandy. (I approve of representation in mediocre mainstream media!) Also, it’s got Kristen Stewart, Allison Brie, Aubrey Plaza, Victor Garber, the brother from Schitt’s Creek, the mom from Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist; and the whole thing was written and directed by Clea DuVall. I mean, that’s as star-studded a cast as you can get for something like this!
Mr. Peabody & Sherman - A terribly formulaic CGI cartoon based on the Rocky & Bullwinkle Show shorts that manages to very carefully avoid having a meaningful message despite all the pieces being right there. To whit, the villain is a social worker convinced that Mr. Peabody, being a dog, has no business adopting a human boy, despite his other world-class qualifications. There is a wonderful racism analogy right there that would be the point of creating that entire relationship (in the original cartoons, the “boy and his dog” relationship seemed to imply that there were also other human parents) in a movie that had any interest in exploring it. I mean, Ms. Grunion’s zealotry actually works if you’re reading it as bigotry rather than any interest in protecting children. But the movie kind of glosses over that in favor of her just being nutty and/or evil and requires Peabody to act out of character to give her any power at all. (If you personally won a landmark court case allowing you to adopt, when a racist social worker gleefully announces they want to take your child, you lawyer up and don’t let them enter your home! A genius with legal training should know that!) It did have a bunch of the classic Peabody history puns, so there’s that. (I wanted a movie that didn’t require much brainpower. This fit the bill.)
Over the Moon - Much of more a “series of things that happened” than a really coherent narrative (there are a lot of shaggy dog bits and goofy unnecessary moments), but it’s very pretty. Credit to them for the cartoon food porn as much as anything. The songs are fun, but forgettable. It feels on-par for a Dreamworks CGI film.
The New Mutants - This was a perfectly capable “superpowered teenagers in more trouble than they realize” film, which ended up functioning as a coda to the X-Men franchise rather than the new kick-off it was clearly planned as. Despite the trailers, it’s not so much a horror film as a moderately scary superhero action film. (There aren’t really any “twists” that you can’t see coming from the very beginning.) There are lesbians who don’t die, and they randomly watch clips of Buffy that foreshadow things that happen in the film. Nothing amazing, but perfectly decent.
X-Men: Dark Phoenix - On one hand, this was a much better adaptation of the Dark Phoenix Saga than the muck they mixed into X3. On the other…it’s still not great. Scott and Jean have no chemistry, Mystique gets fridged, Quicksilver gets sidelined early, the aliens are plot devices that only ever get unreliable exposition, the overarching “public opinion of mutants” thing is badly managed and kinda unnecessary to the rest of the film (and basically means that Xavier’s only legacy was the long list of people he got killed). Logan was an ending to the Stewart/McKellen X-Men timeline that was both an excellent movie and a perfect closing note. This left the McAvoy/Fassbender timeline to end on a whimper rather than a bang. (As a side note, I’m hoping that mutants and the X-Men don’t get mixed into the MCU proper; even though I’m reasonably certain they will be. That universe is too damn busy already and the metaphor that mutants represent will be lost in a world that has aliens, gods, superheroes and “the blip” already inflicted on it.)
Holidate - A holiday romcom with the modern self-awareness that’s reasonably standard at this point and a moderate amount of gross-out and “adult” humor. It stars Emma Roberts (a poor man’s Kristen Wiig) and Luke Bracey (a poor man’s Hemsworth), but the real star power is Kristin Chenoweth as the hilarious slutty aunt. Perfectly cromulent romcom; with the common inadvertent message that you should date people who have similar interests and you’re able to be friends with.
Yes, God, Yes - A late-90s period piece about a Catholic girl discovering her sexuality and dealing with the common confusion over it that American Christian society inflicts. (She’s not even gay or anything. Just a hormonally-charged teenager.) Fortunately, she sneaks away from Christian camp and a helpful lesbian at the local bar sets her straight. The film, as far as I can tell, is heavily autobiographical on the part of the ex-Catholic writer/director. I suppose it was only a matter of time before autobiographical period pieces from people younger than me started appearing…
Naked - Rob wakes up the morning of his wedding naked in an elevator with no idea how he got there…and an hour later he’s magically back there again. I’m not generally a fan of any of the Wayans brothers, but in this case, my love of Groundhog Day loops overcame it. And it’s actually a decent script with a well-paced mystery. Loretta Devine gets to sing some gospel, which is delightful. Minka Kelly (Dawn from Titans) has a random uncredited cameo. Honestly, the biggest problem with it is that Marlon Wayans mugs like a goddamn cartoon character and I just don’t find him funny.
Happiest Season - It’s not the queer holiday movie that we wanted, but it is absolutely the queer holiday movie we deserved. That is, I’m not making any arguments that it’s particularly good. It’s a by-the-numbers Hallmark-channel Christmas romcom, just the main characters are all gay, and I think that’s dandy. (I approve of representation in mediocre mainstream media!) Also, it’s got Kristen Stewart, Allison Brie, Aubrey Plaza, Victor Garber, the brother from Schitt’s Creek, the mom from Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist; and the whole thing was written and directed by Clea DuVall. I mean, that’s as star-studded a cast as you can get for something like this!
Mr. Peabody & Sherman - A terribly formulaic CGI cartoon based on the Rocky & Bullwinkle Show shorts that manages to very carefully avoid having a meaningful message despite all the pieces being right there. To whit, the villain is a social worker convinced that Mr. Peabody, being a dog, has no business adopting a human boy, despite his other world-class qualifications. There is a wonderful racism analogy right there that would be the point of creating that entire relationship (in the original cartoons, the “boy and his dog” relationship seemed to imply that there were also other human parents) in a movie that had any interest in exploring it. I mean, Ms. Grunion’s zealotry actually works if you’re reading it as bigotry rather than any interest in protecting children. But the movie kind of glosses over that in favor of her just being nutty and/or evil and requires Peabody to act out of character to give her any power at all. (If you personally won a landmark court case allowing you to adopt, when a racist social worker gleefully announces they want to take your child, you lawyer up and don’t let them enter your home! A genius with legal training should know that!) It did have a bunch of the classic Peabody history puns, so there’s that. (I wanted a movie that didn’t require much brainpower. This fit the bill.)
Over the Moon - Much of more a “series of things that happened” than a really coherent narrative (there are a lot of shaggy dog bits and goofy unnecessary moments), but it’s very pretty. Credit to them for the cartoon food porn as much as anything. The songs are fun, but forgettable. It feels on-par for a Dreamworks CGI film.
The New Mutants - This was a perfectly capable “superpowered teenagers in more trouble than they realize” film, which ended up functioning as a coda to the X-Men franchise rather than the new kick-off it was clearly planned as. Despite the trailers, it’s not so much a horror film as a moderately scary superhero action film. (There aren’t really any “twists” that you can’t see coming from the very beginning.) There are lesbians who don’t die, and they randomly watch clips of Buffy that foreshadow things that happen in the film. Nothing amazing, but perfectly decent.
X-Men: Dark Phoenix - On one hand, this was a much better adaptation of the Dark Phoenix Saga than the muck they mixed into X3. On the other…it’s still not great. Scott and Jean have no chemistry, Mystique gets fridged, Quicksilver gets sidelined early, the aliens are plot devices that only ever get unreliable exposition, the overarching “public opinion of mutants” thing is badly managed and kinda unnecessary to the rest of the film (and basically means that Xavier’s only legacy was the long list of people he got killed). Logan was an ending to the Stewart/McKellen X-Men timeline that was both an excellent movie and a perfect closing note. This left the McAvoy/Fassbender timeline to end on a whimper rather than a bang. (As a side note, I’m hoping that mutants and the X-Men don’t get mixed into the MCU proper; even though I’m reasonably certain they will be. That universe is too damn busy already and the metaphor that mutants represent will be lost in a world that has aliens, gods, superheroes and “the blip” already inflicted on it.)
Holidate - A holiday romcom with the modern self-awareness that’s reasonably standard at this point and a moderate amount of gross-out and “adult” humor. It stars Emma Roberts (a poor man’s Kristen Wiig) and Luke Bracey (a poor man’s Hemsworth), but the real star power is Kristin Chenoweth as the hilarious slutty aunt. Perfectly cromulent romcom; with the common inadvertent message that you should date people who have similar interests and you’re able to be friends with.
Yes, God, Yes - A late-90s period piece about a Catholic girl discovering her sexuality and dealing with the common confusion over it that American Christian society inflicts. (She’s not even gay or anything. Just a hormonally-charged teenager.) Fortunately, she sneaks away from Christian camp and a helpful lesbian at the local bar sets her straight. The film, as far as I can tell, is heavily autobiographical on the part of the ex-Catholic writer/director. I suppose it was only a matter of time before autobiographical period pieces from people younger than me started appearing…
Naked - Rob wakes up the morning of his wedding naked in an elevator with no idea how he got there…and an hour later he’s magically back there again. I’m not generally a fan of any of the Wayans brothers, but in this case, my love of Groundhog Day loops overcame it. And it’s actually a decent script with a well-paced mystery. Loretta Devine gets to sing some gospel, which is delightful. Minka Kelly (Dawn from Titans) has a random uncredited cameo. Honestly, the biggest problem with it is that Marlon Wayans mugs like a goddamn cartoon character and I just don’t find him funny.
