I watched Army of the Dead. Its pretty middling. There are some aspects that I like about it, but I didn't love it. The film is 2+ hours long and does not need to be anywhere near that long.
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It’s not... great
Frocto and Niku over on the Brontoforum did a lets watch of thatEarlier, I learned of the existence of some total trash OAV where at one point there is a Master Blaster riding on the back of a nude woman who is a robot, part-motorcycle, and breathes lasers. Asking around here, I learned this is called Goku: Midnight Eye (thanks Peklo!) and for some reason, it's available on Amazon Prime, wih the sort of emotionally dissonant weird old OAV dub you'd expect.
The second episode of two has a monologue from the main character which contains the following word for word quotation:
"If I wanted to, I could hack into the launch codes of every nuclear power, send the missiles up, and destroy the planet. In every other way, I'm just your ordinary private detective."
Shortly after explaining this, he's in a sewer pipe defending some woman from a swarm of robo-pterodactyls.
Also in the first episode, there is a scene where someone sets a trap to kill the protagonist, which I can only properly convey with a bunch of nested spoiler tags.
The hypnotic robo-stripper who has thus far killed every other character in the episode and attempted to kill our hero (who thwarted it by stabbing his own eye out by the way, which some mysterious unexplained benefactor then replaced with a magical internet eye giving him all knowledge, but we're not making any Odin references because he also gives him a power pole) mind controls his love interest so that she gives him a drugged drink.
Also, she has poisoned lipstick to kiss him with when he refuses.
Also this is basically just a distraction so a random Abobo can sneak up to crush his skull.
And as a contingency for when that fails, Abobo has a fez concealing dozens of poisonous robot mosquitos.
All of which chases him out of the building to be confronted again by the hypno-robo-stripper.
CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE IS ON NETFLIX AND I'M GONNA WATCH IT.
GOD I miss these kinds of early 00s action flicks about assholes getting in over their heads and then fighting their way out with karate.
2. Everything else was extremely disappointing. Every character and story beat was straight out of the worst chapters of Disney's (if not Dreamworks's) most hackneyed, ham-fisted playbook. It somehow manages to feel whitewashed and orientalist even with an all-Asian cast of characters and actors.