Chapter 17: THE TRAIN GRAVEYAR- WAIT A SECOND! YOU CAN'T BE HERE! YOU WEREN'T EVEN IN THIS VIDEO!!!!
Initial Stream: 10/14/20
You know, when I yelled at Gogglebob to let me do this one, I hadn't realized that the video was an HOUR AND A HALF LONG WHAT THE FUCK GOGGLEBOB WE TALKED ABOUT THIS OH MY GOD.
00:00 – So I haven't watched the prior two videos and only caught enough of the stream to get SUPER PISSED OFF at the idea of Funko Pops Fucking, so I'm not 100% sure on how the anime teens found a train to Halloweentown. I'm just gonna roll with it.
01:00 – Up till this point, both Anime Teens have been completely devoid of anything resembling personality, so it's kind of equal parts refreshing and shocking when the girl
completely loses her shit and swears one thousand times revenge on the Halloween train's Cactuar Conductor.
And like, it comes out of literally fucking nowhere, and has actual effort and CRAFT put into the animation, while adding literally nothing to the plot? When was it established that her personality is ANGRY GIRL? What the fuck just happened?
06:00 – The murder attempt aborted, The anime teens and their horrible mascot ride the train to some Parthenon looking building called... TOMETOWN OF THE ANCIENTS. Anyways some vampires threaten them, but then some dork who uses tooo much hairspray shows up and saves them I guess whatever.
10:30 – Cloud Takes the kids to Celest, who's wearing what APPEARS to be the Funko pop version of Cammy's outfit from street fighter. Also a CID, but it's not the Cid who likes rockets and swear words, so it's the WRONG CID. Anime boy is racist against robots. Anime girl has interesting ideas about English syntax.
19:50 – So I seriously thought it was gonna be a LIBRARY DUNGEON, but instead the official dungeon for this area is some kinda train graveyard. I genuinely like the visual design, with the misty blue backdrop of rusted, decaying train cars in stacks hundreds of feet into the sky. as far as places to wander around and accumulate XP go.
21:00 – Fanboy takes the very reasonable stance that the Train Graveyard in FF7 isn't in his top 10 locations from the game. Abby calls his bluff, which was a mistake because
Fanboy never bluffs.
34:20 – I zoned out for awhile during my listening session, so I'm honestly not sure why the commentary crew is suddenly talking about
public urination. I'm willing to concede that the commentary crew is probably right on the basic point that you could learn a lot about someone by how they react to uh..
that. But also, what the fuck no stop.
45:00 – I'm learning a lot about a Magical Gay Vampire Queen? And her cotton candy girlfriend? Good for them.
1:04:20 – The following exchange has been preserved with only minimal editing.
PAST GOGGLEBOB, IN THE VIDEO: I could make a political Joke right now...
PRESENT BEAT, LISTENING TO THE VIDEO: Don't you fucking dare.
PAST GOGGLEBOB: ...but it would be way too obvious.
PRESENT BEAT SIGHS AND THEATRICALLY WIPES HIS BROW IN RELIEF.
PAST FANBOYMASTER: So let's not.
PRESENT BEAT: Thank you Fanboy I knew you were my realest friend for a reason.
PAST ABBY: We're all gonna die, go for it.
PRESENT BEAT: What the fuck Abby, I trusted you!
PAST GOGGLEBOB: "The democratic party..."
PRESENT BEAT: NO! NOOOOO!!!!!
PAST GOGGLEBOB: "...is hoarding its Elixirs"
PRESENT BEAT ASCENDS TO HIGHER LEVEL OF RAGE, SCREAMING FIE AND DAMNATION, SWEARING VENGENCE.
1:04:54 –
Gimmie Gimmie!
1:07:45 – This game's cutscenes keep getting ALMOST good and its FRUSTRATING.
Like I keep going "WAIT SHIT IS THIS GAME... GOOD?" and the answer is always "NO" and it's starting to get on my nerves.
1:10:00 – Time to kill a vampire I guess.
1:13:20 – For like a good 3 minutes I really thought they were just gonna say "Hahah good thing we killed the vampire before you had a chance to turn since we established that killing him would restore everyone he turned 3 cutscenes ago." That would have almost been clever. Instead they had her turn in the post fight cutscene, and then the vampire is stabbed immediately afterwards, and she turns back. I have NO IDEA why that whole runaround was in the game at all.
1:19:00 – Tometown is much more visually appealing when its not full of vampires.
1:26:10 – "LOVE YOURSELF, BITCH!"
What actually happened in the plot: The anime Teens ride the Halloween train to Library Land, meet the MOST POPULAR FINAL FANTASY CHARACTER EVER (And Celes (And a fake Cid)) and conclude that it's time to hunt a vampire. After like an hour or so of dungeon wandering, the sister gets kidnapped, and turned into a vampire for exactly 30 seconds. Then they kill the vampire and she's fine. Then they go back to library land and get the exposition.