Happy Wednesday, friends. Frenzday.
Kicking in your front door and drunkenly demanding "WHERE"S MY MONEY" this week is Disney Dreamlight Valley, which, I *think* is Animal Crossing, except with Oswald the Lucky Rabbit and Randy Quaid from Home on the Range instead of Tom Nook or Brewster. And there's a bit of Legend of Zelda-ing going on, but it's mainly the Animal Crossing thing, except you have a weird unsettling homunculus instead of an Animal Crossing Human Person.
Speaking of things that aren't Nintendo properties, but sure want you to think they are, we have Temtem, which exists to cover the bridge seperating the existing Not-Quite Pokemon, Coramon (which came out a couple of months ago and is excellent) and the impending Actually Pokemon, Pokemon Scarlet and Violet (which also looks to be excellent), but this one is doing what Nintendon't by making it an MMO!
People have been insisting on a Pokemon MMO ever since Red first ruined Blues aspirations of smelling you later, and now here one is; from peeps what ain't Nintendo.
What an age to be alive in! Alive, and catching monsters in.
Circus Electronique is the latest in the... unexpected sub-genre of Darkest Dungeon-themed Circus Games. It's the Steam-punk ages, you've got a circus staffed with side-show attractions, murder-clowns and stong people of every gender, and a desire to save London by using those performers to put on the greatest show on Earth, and also beat the ever-cussin' mustard out of every single person in London in order to figure out the reason why so dang many of them have gone all kill-crazy.
Might be because renegade circus performers are wandering the city beating the hell out of people.
I mean, it probably isn't helping the situation.
Kaichu is, just in terms of basic concept, the clear winner for this weeks releases. ANd possible for video games as a whole; it's a Godzilla dating sim, where you're a giant nuclear dinosaur who just wants love... and expresses those romantic feelings by finding another daikaiju to break apart human civilization with. Every landmark represents a date for our love-lorn giganto-fauna, and as their romantic compatibility rises, buildings collapse.
Which is definitely how I judge if someones ahhhromance is strong.
Speaking of things that make your heart race, we have BPM. But in this case, that actually stands for Bullets Per Minute, as this is effectively Crypt of the Necrodancer, by way of Doom, so that introductory sentence is a bald faced lie. Who'se going to stop me for my slander, the mayor?
Probably not, but perhaps The Valkyrie, as she's the one with a musically inclined gun and a hankerin' to use RHYTHM AND VIOLENCE to solve the problem of too many monsters.
Justice Sucks has a description that reads like MadLibs, but is apparently a stealth action game where you're a Roomba out for to avenge the murder of the family who bought you; like a reverse John Wick, if instead of an adorable puppy, John Wick adopted Wall-E.
Speaking of charming looking games starring intensely violent cartoons, we have Skycadia. Which does still land on the side of "Cute and charming" instead of violent, but, y'know... you're still shooting down an awful lot of occupied aircraft. It's a semi-open ended airplane-y dogfight-em-up where you are a bird with an old timey plane and a sky full of CRIMINAL BUGS that you have to shoot down to collect the bounties on their wicked, bugly heads. According to our own That Old Chestnut "I played Skycadia on Steam and it’s pretty fun, if a touch on the simple side. I’ve got kind of a soft spot for simple, arcadey aeroplane dogfight games."
And I do too, so that's two votes for it!
If you can't decide whether to watch a movie or play a video game, and don't want to do what I usually do and do *both* because that's one of the main selling point for the Switch for me, then perhaps you have an alternate way to split the difference with The Gallery, which is one of those Mr. Payback video games. Wtcha film and sometimes yell at the actors commands like "SCREAM" or "GET TO KNOW DORIAN". Anyway, you've got two separates stories about a British art gallery what has a bomb and a murder-man running around making a nuisance of themselves.
Typical mad-bomber chicanery.
And speaking of... erm... games that take place in either the 1980s or 20-teens, the middle point between those two dates is the 1990s, and that's when Radical Rex came out!
Yes... that will do for a segue. This is another re-release from thegood people at Piko Interactive, and like most of their previous games this is a kind of shoddy looking port of a long forgotten 16-bit game; in this case, it's about a small tyrannosaur with a skateboard. I regretably can not say if this is based on the SNES or Genesis port (and given Pikos work output, there's neither rhyme nor reason that would have influenced their choice as to which to bring over), but it DOES seem to have teh Gameboy port, which I did not suspect existed, and is... horrifying to behold.
Really just an absolute visual travesty.
Anyway; Radical Rex; won't you?
Next up is Splatoon 3. And that's the latest entry in a very popular Nintendo franchise, so I don't really think I need to go into more detail, right? I was on board the moment I saw that a third Splatoon was coming, when the first trailer dropped so I've been purposely avoiding any further knowledge ever since.
It's a third Splatoon, so it's got all the Good Stuff from Splatoon 1 and 2, it's got a new campaign, and they made it so that you can play Salmon Run whenever you want, instead of whenever the game deems you may, so... y'know...
I'm one thousand percent ready for it.
The only debate left is which Simpson image to use...
And finally, we have not one, but two pixel-y troid-em-ups, but featuring WILDLY different characters; Haiku: The Robot is about a robot, and it looks similar enough to Kunai (also a troid-em-up about a cute widdle ro-buddy) that I suspected they were related. Apparently they are not, but they look similar enough.
Catmaze, which is NOT about a cat, but IS about a maze, and a witch who is stuck inside there, and who has to troid her way around trying to not be in there no mo'.
GO TO BREAD!
Kicking in your front door and drunkenly demanding "WHERE"S MY MONEY" this week is Disney Dreamlight Valley, which, I *think* is Animal Crossing, except with Oswald the Lucky Rabbit and Randy Quaid from Home on the Range instead of Tom Nook or Brewster. And there's a bit of Legend of Zelda-ing going on, but it's mainly the Animal Crossing thing, except you have a weird unsettling homunculus instead of an Animal Crossing Human Person.
Speaking of things that aren't Nintendo properties, but sure want you to think they are, we have Temtem, which exists to cover the bridge seperating the existing Not-Quite Pokemon, Coramon (which came out a couple of months ago and is excellent) and the impending Actually Pokemon, Pokemon Scarlet and Violet (which also looks to be excellent), but this one is doing what Nintendon't by making it an MMO!
People have been insisting on a Pokemon MMO ever since Red first ruined Blues aspirations of smelling you later, and now here one is; from peeps what ain't Nintendo.
What an age to be alive in! Alive, and catching monsters in.
Circus Electronique is the latest in the... unexpected sub-genre of Darkest Dungeon-themed Circus Games. It's the Steam-punk ages, you've got a circus staffed with side-show attractions, murder-clowns and stong people of every gender, and a desire to save London by using those performers to put on the greatest show on Earth, and also beat the ever-cussin' mustard out of every single person in London in order to figure out the reason why so dang many of them have gone all kill-crazy.
Might be because renegade circus performers are wandering the city beating the hell out of people.
I mean, it probably isn't helping the situation.
Kaichu is, just in terms of basic concept, the clear winner for this weeks releases. ANd possible for video games as a whole; it's a Godzilla dating sim, where you're a giant nuclear dinosaur who just wants love... and expresses those romantic feelings by finding another daikaiju to break apart human civilization with. Every landmark represents a date for our love-lorn giganto-fauna, and as their romantic compatibility rises, buildings collapse.
Which is definitely how I judge if someones ahhhromance is strong.
Speaking of things that make your heart race, we have BPM. But in this case, that actually stands for Bullets Per Minute, as this is effectively Crypt of the Necrodancer, by way of Doom, so that introductory sentence is a bald faced lie. Who'se going to stop me for my slander, the mayor?
Probably not, but perhaps The Valkyrie, as she's the one with a musically inclined gun and a hankerin' to use RHYTHM AND VIOLENCE to solve the problem of too many monsters.
Justice Sucks has a description that reads like MadLibs, but is apparently a stealth action game where you're a Roomba out for to avenge the murder of the family who bought you; like a reverse John Wick, if instead of an adorable puppy, John Wick adopted Wall-E.
Speaking of charming looking games starring intensely violent cartoons, we have Skycadia. Which does still land on the side of "Cute and charming" instead of violent, but, y'know... you're still shooting down an awful lot of occupied aircraft. It's a semi-open ended airplane-y dogfight-em-up where you are a bird with an old timey plane and a sky full of CRIMINAL BUGS that you have to shoot down to collect the bounties on their wicked, bugly heads. According to our own That Old Chestnut "I played Skycadia on Steam and it’s pretty fun, if a touch on the simple side. I’ve got kind of a soft spot for simple, arcadey aeroplane dogfight games."
And I do too, so that's two votes for it!
If you can't decide whether to watch a movie or play a video game, and don't want to do what I usually do and do *both* because that's one of the main selling point for the Switch for me, then perhaps you have an alternate way to split the difference with The Gallery, which is one of those Mr. Payback video games. Wtcha film and sometimes yell at the actors commands like "SCREAM" or "GET TO KNOW DORIAN". Anyway, you've got two separates stories about a British art gallery what has a bomb and a murder-man running around making a nuisance of themselves.
Typical mad-bomber chicanery.
And speaking of... erm... games that take place in either the 1980s or 20-teens, the middle point between those two dates is the 1990s, and that's when Radical Rex came out!
Yes... that will do for a segue. This is another re-release from the
Really just an absolute visual travesty.
Anyway; Radical Rex; won't you?
Next up is Splatoon 3. And that's the latest entry in a very popular Nintendo franchise, so I don't really think I need to go into more detail, right? I was on board the moment I saw that a third Splatoon was coming, when the first trailer dropped so I've been purposely avoiding any further knowledge ever since.
It's a third Splatoon, so it's got all the Good Stuff from Splatoon 1 and 2, it's got a new campaign, and they made it so that you can play Salmon Run whenever you want, instead of whenever the game deems you may, so... y'know...
I'm one thousand percent ready for it.
The only debate left is which Simpson image to use...
And finally, we have not one, but two pixel-y troid-em-ups, but featuring WILDLY different characters; Haiku: The Robot is about a robot, and it looks similar enough to Kunai (also a troid-em-up about a cute widdle ro-buddy) that I suspected they were related. Apparently they are not, but they look similar enough.
Catmaze, which is NOT about a cat, but IS about a maze, and a witch who is stuck inside there, and who has to troid her way around trying to not be in there no mo'.
GO TO BREAD!
