That's right, this week we spotlight only the vidiest of games.
Games like Touken Ranbu Warriors, which takes the Musou-em-up gameplay of every other Warriors game and attaches it to a franchise I had no idea existed until I started writing this very sentence. The first draft of this sentence involved me supposing that they just didn't make a franchise to attach this to, but I was mistaken, I'm not so proud as to admit I can be wrong sometimes.
Anyway, it's based on Touken Ranbu, as the title suggests, and that's apparently a "spirit of blades simulation game".
So now you know!
Use swords to chop up monsters, but in vast quantities, because that's how you Warriors, baby!
Next up is Ogre, which takes one of the least video kind of games ("board") and increases the video quotient to 100%! It's a digital adaptation of the Steve Jackson game that, if I'm interpretting the trailer correctly, is Advance Wars, if one of the armies was just one, super SUPER strong tank and the whole game was about trying to take that one particular sucker down. So if you're discouraged by Advance Wars' indefinite delay, and still want something that kind of looks like Advance Wars, if you squint and forgot what Advance Wars' aesthetics looks like, and also already finished with Wargroove or Tiny Metal, or you really like the aforesaid board game and want a digital version of that, here's Ogre in your eye!
Speaking of... umm... people management, Amazing Superhero Squad (which I am now realizing abbreviates to ASS, which I can only assume is intentional), is a Super Hero-em-up corporate sim where you have a whole team of avengers you have to manage the finances of. I only saw a couple episodes of The Boys, but... it looks like it's The Boys, except full focused on the company that runs superheroes, and with the sex and violence turned way down.
Now if you want to pretend you're dancing when you're sitting on your couch, playing a video game, AND ALSO yearn for more LGBQ+ content in your dancing video games, good news, because Pride Dance is out, just in time for the one month a year when every company adds a rainbow to their logos!
Well, except Skittles, that's in there year round.
Anyway, it's a dance game, and there's only one screenshot that isn't a menu so... I have no idea what to say here.
Next up is a genuinely unexpected revival of a property I genuinely forgot existed; Kao the Kangaroo which... I want to say was a contemporary of Ty the Tasmanian Tiger. Geographically, if nothing else. It looks nicer than it could have back on the PS2, so it's clearly not just a remaster. Not sure if it's a remake or a whole new thing, but I'm sure someone knows!
Sure ain't me!
Anyway, it's a platformer, you're a kangaroo, and, like all kangaroos, that means you're one of the deadliest boxers to ever grace the world.
Jade Order is the game I'm most excited for this week, which isn't really saying a lot, to be honest, but the trailer made me say "Oh, that looks very similar to an existing game I like quite a lot", so it has splash-back affection. In this case, it looks like Lara Croft: Go (or Hitman Go/Deus Ex Go, if you prefer), right down to the mesoamerican flair. Just with pixels instead of polygons. Take a bird goddess out on a walk from one node to another and use lateral thinking and BRAIN SMARTS to chop the ever-cussin' mustard out of each of them without getting so chopped up yourself.
And finally a smattering of games for the lovers and readers in your life, as there's not one but FOUR visual novels all about ahhhromance. Well, a couple are about ahhhromance, some of them are about looking at bosoms and saying "Oh, neat!", and I suspect they're just barely edited pornography. Freezer Pops is one of the ones without bosoms, as everyone in it is a hunky dad! It is precisely as horny looking as the rest, just with hunky dad bods. Also up is Arcade Spirits: The New Challengers, where your heart must compete against other people eligible for smoochin' in the most romantic setting imaginable; an eSports competition! And finally we have Senren Banka and Sakura Succubus V, which are the two that I strongly suspect are just barely edited pornographic games and I'm just really mentioning them for completions sake.
And that's all for this week! Stay tuned for next week, which should be happening in 7 days or so!
Games like Touken Ranbu Warriors, which takes the Musou-em-up gameplay of every other Warriors game and attaches it to a franchise I had no idea existed until I started writing this very sentence. The first draft of this sentence involved me supposing that they just didn't make a franchise to attach this to, but I was mistaken, I'm not so proud as to admit I can be wrong sometimes.
Anyway, it's based on Touken Ranbu, as the title suggests, and that's apparently a "spirit of blades simulation game".
So now you know!
Use swords to chop up monsters, but in vast quantities, because that's how you Warriors, baby!
Next up is Ogre, which takes one of the least video kind of games ("board") and increases the video quotient to 100%! It's a digital adaptation of the Steve Jackson game that, if I'm interpretting the trailer correctly, is Advance Wars, if one of the armies was just one, super SUPER strong tank and the whole game was about trying to take that one particular sucker down. So if you're discouraged by Advance Wars' indefinite delay, and still want something that kind of looks like Advance Wars, if you squint and forgot what Advance Wars' aesthetics looks like, and also already finished with Wargroove or Tiny Metal, or you really like the aforesaid board game and want a digital version of that, here's Ogre in your eye!
Speaking of... umm... people management, Amazing Superhero Squad (which I am now realizing abbreviates to ASS, which I can only assume is intentional), is a Super Hero-em-up corporate sim where you have a whole team of avengers you have to manage the finances of. I only saw a couple episodes of The Boys, but... it looks like it's The Boys, except full focused on the company that runs superheroes, and with the sex and violence turned way down.
Now if you want to pretend you're dancing when you're sitting on your couch, playing a video game, AND ALSO yearn for more LGBQ+ content in your dancing video games, good news, because Pride Dance is out, just in time for the one month a year when every company adds a rainbow to their logos!
Well, except Skittles, that's in there year round.
Anyway, it's a dance game, and there's only one screenshot that isn't a menu so... I have no idea what to say here.
Next up is a genuinely unexpected revival of a property I genuinely forgot existed; Kao the Kangaroo which... I want to say was a contemporary of Ty the Tasmanian Tiger. Geographically, if nothing else. It looks nicer than it could have back on the PS2, so it's clearly not just a remaster. Not sure if it's a remake or a whole new thing, but I'm sure someone knows!
Sure ain't me!
Anyway, it's a platformer, you're a kangaroo, and, like all kangaroos, that means you're one of the deadliest boxers to ever grace the world.
Jade Order is the game I'm most excited for this week, which isn't really saying a lot, to be honest, but the trailer made me say "Oh, that looks very similar to an existing game I like quite a lot", so it has splash-back affection. In this case, it looks like Lara Croft: Go (or Hitman Go/Deus Ex Go, if you prefer), right down to the mesoamerican flair. Just with pixels instead of polygons. Take a bird goddess out on a walk from one node to another and use lateral thinking and BRAIN SMARTS to chop the ever-cussin' mustard out of each of them without getting so chopped up yourself.
And finally a smattering of games for the lovers and readers in your life, as there's not one but FOUR visual novels all about ahhhromance. Well, a couple are about ahhhromance, some of them are about looking at bosoms and saying "Oh, neat!", and I suspect they're just barely edited pornography. Freezer Pops is one of the ones without bosoms, as everyone in it is a hunky dad! It is precisely as horny looking as the rest, just with hunky dad bods. Also up is Arcade Spirits: The New Challengers, where your heart must compete against other people eligible for smoochin' in the most romantic setting imaginable; an eSports competition! And finally we have Senren Banka and Sakura Succubus V, which are the two that I strongly suspect are just barely edited pornographic games and I'm just really mentioning them for completions sake.
And that's all for this week! Stay tuned for next week, which should be happening in 7 days or so!