Just Keep Telling Yourself It's Only a Thread: Talking Time's Top 50 Horror Movies!

Torzelbaum · Dec 22, 2020

Technodrome's eye is looking kind of bloodshot but I guess it's hard to find a bottle of eyedrops that is large enough to do the job for it.

Dracula said:
Dawn of the Dead

Lawn of the Dead was a name that the developers had originally planed to use for what was eventually called Plants vs. Zombies. They abandoned the name for legal reasons.

Dracula · Dec 22, 2020

Looking back on everything the list has covered so far, I'm sad I missed out on myself.

Not to worry, vampire. Tonight's features should contain something of interest to you.

No. 21 TIE

Fright Night (1985)
Points: 117 | Lists: Dracula (#2); Neo Skimbleshanks (#7); Octopus Prime (#9); Dr. Nerd (#13)
“You’re so cool, Brewster!”

Fright Night is a 1985 American horror film written and directed by Tom Holland (in his directorial debut) and produced by Herb Jaffe. It stars Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Roddy McDowall, Amanda Bearse, Jonathan Stark, Dorothy Fielding, Stephen Geoffreys, and Art Evans. The film follows young Charley Brewster, who discovers that his next-door neighbor Jerry Dandrige is a vampire. When no one believes him, Charley decides to get Peter Vincent, a TV show host who acted in films as a vampire hunter, to stop Jerry's killing spree.

Drac’s Notes: Back-to-back, we get both of my two favorite horror movies, representing both ends of the horror movie spectrum. Silence is a decorated academy award winner which transcends genre; Fright Night is a late-nite B-movie that revels in the history and trappings of genre. I never, ever get tired of watching this film. Dandridge is my absolute favorite movie vampire, and my favorite Chris Sarandon performance. Roddy McDowall does a beautiful homage to the Van Helsings of Hammers past, and the cast of kids, particularly Stephen Geoffreys’ Evil Ed, are memorable. It has a chilly Brad "Terminator" Fiedel score braced with 80s pop. It’s an overstuffed horror comedy bulging with beautiful practical effects and bright colors. It’s just an absolute joy from start to end.

Oh, and it’s very gay, both on-screen and off. Dandridge puts on the airs of being in a relationship with his roommate, Billy Cole (who is some sort of homunculus or zombie or something...who knows) as a cover for his vampirism. McDowall was, in his time, one of Hollywood’s most famous closeted gay men; Amanda Bearse became a gay icon later in life; and Geoffreys went on to have a career mostly in gay porn.

The 2011 remake starring Anton Yelchin and David Tennant, on the other hand, is not especially gay, nor does it contain any joy, and should not be accepted as a substitute for the real thing.

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
Points: 117 | Lists: Teg (#10); Torzelbaum (#11); Kirin (#16); Bulgakov (#7); Adrenaline (#24)
“Feed me, Seymour!”

Little Shop of Horrors is a 1986 American horror black comedy musical film directed by Frank Oz. It is a film adaptation of the 1982 off-Broadway musical comedy of the same name by composer Alan Menken and writer Howard Ashman, which in turn was based on the 1960 film The Little Shop of Horrors, directed by Roger Corman, about a geeky florist shop worker who finds out his Venus flytrap has an appetite for human blood.

Drac’s Notes: Here’s where I admit I haven’t seen one of the great horror classics. Sorta. I haven’t seen the 1986 film version of this, but I did see a stage version of it put on by my college’s theater department. Which was great! I loved it! I need to see the movie! Here are some words from the nominators, since I don’t have much to add:

Torzelbaum: “This little shop is stocked with lots of quality items - music, mirth, mayhem and a mean green mother (from outer space).”

Bulgakov: “Loved this movie as a kid and adult. Plant puppets are awesome. They had to film all the plant sequences at half speed to make the puppeteering motion look smooth in the final movie, so I love all the slow-mo acting.”

And here’s where I mention that we are now past all of this list’s ties! Wow! This list had a lot of ties!

ShakeWell · Dec 23, 2020

Dracula said:
The 2011 remake starring Anton Yelchin and David Tennant, on the other hand, is not especially gay, nor does it contain any joy, and should not be accepted as a substitute for the real thing.

I have actually heard pretty good things about that version (RIP Anton), but have not seen it. People often bring it up as one of the not-terrible remakes of the new millennium.

Johnny Unusual · Dec 23, 2020

ShakeWell said:
I have actually heard pretty good things about that version

I did too and I liked a lot of the cast but I found it rather disappointing and most importantly, missing in being properly fun.

Torzelbaum · Dec 23, 2020

Tegan said:
Finally, something else I voted for! Here I was thinking I didn't have anything left in common with all y'all.

You have the really important stuff.

Purple · Dec 23, 2020

Yeah, count me as one of those people saying good things about the Fright Night remake. It's a weird case of both the original and the remake being written by the same person, so the approach is less "let's make this movie again but show off our better future actors and technical craft" and more "let me update this to better reflect how things have changed in the years since I first took a crack at this."

Notable changes that result from this most obviously include Peter Vincent being a Chris Angel style stage magician instead of a horror host, since that is just plain no longer a profession, and I rather dig the eventual reveal that his whole backstory is that he totally does know vampires are real, from firsthand experience, which lead into getting into legit occult stuff for protection, then stage magic because hey how else do you make that background work as a career, but there's also a real shift in the dynamic between Charlie and his mother (changing from one of those terrible oblivious and untrusting towards her own child '80s film mothers to being so concerned and involved he's going to great pains to try and leave her out of things), and going from "the best place for a vampire to hang out undetected is the suburbs of Anytown USA" to "no, just live in Las Vegas. Being fully nocturnal doesn't seem at all weird and there's a steady flow of people alone from out of town to pick off," which is... really just a better-thought-out premise.

What you want to avoid is the sequels both Fright Nights have. The '80s sequel being a big ol' frustrating reset button/retread and the more modern one just being straight up trash with no real connection to anything.

Octopus Prime · Dec 23, 2020

Little Shop is another one of those movies I didn’t put on my list since I never think of it as being a horror movie. Despite, you know, the plant monster who eats people being central to the plot. If i did, it’d be in my top two, easily.

Fright Night is simply one of the Halloweeniest movies ever filmed

Adrenaline · Dec 23, 2020

Horror comedy is obviously my big exception to the "does it feel like horror?" qualifier.

Dracula · Dec 23, 2020

Hey Drac, what's the scariest movie you've ever seen?

Hmm, I'm not sure. Maybe When Harry Met Sally?

...huh?

Relationships are scary. Other people are scary.

Dracula is correct. I have two examples to demonstrate this theory today.

No. 20 Us (2019)
Points: 119 | Lists: YangusKhan (#14); Beta Metroid (#18); Johnny Unusual (#8); Adrenaline (#21); Jbear (#6)
“It's us.”

Us is a 2019 American supernatural psychological horror film written and directed by Jordan Peele, starring Lupita Nyong'o, Winston Duke, Elisabeth Moss, and Tim Heidecker. The film follows Adelaide Wilson (Nyong'o) and her family, who are attacked by a group of menacing doppelgängers.

Drac’s Notes: It was almost impossible to watch Jordan Peele’s second horror film following his critically acclaimed masterpiece Get Out and not make a comparison. Us is more straightforward and less socially biting than his previous, which made it stick in the mind less, but it’s nevertheless an amazing horror film with incredible performances from its cast, particularly Nyong’o. Just the contorted facial expressions she makes while playing her own murderous doppelganger are scary enough to merit a place on this list. I need to give this one a rewatch sometime soon.

No. 19 Let the Right One In (2008)
Points: 124 | Lists: Sabrecat (#7); Falselogic (#4); Kishi (#1); Adrenaline (#2)
“I'm twelve. But I've been twelve for a long time.”

Let the Right One In (Swedish: Låt den rätte komma in) is a 2008 Swedish romantic horror film directed by Tomas Alfredson, based on the 2004 novel of the same title by John Ajvide Lindqvist, who also wrote the screenplay. The film tells the story of a bullied 12-year-old boy who develops a friendship with a vampire child in Blackeberg, a suburb of Stockholm, in the early 1980s.

Drac’s Notes: Like Little Shop, this is a film I’ve meant to watch for many years. I love a good vampire film, and by all accounts this is one of the best. I’ve read Harbour, another of Lindqvist’s novels (but dealing with hauntings rather than vampires). The main thing I know about it now is it features the hauntingly poppy song Flash In the Night, which I’ve used in Halloween mixes ever since my wife played it for me following her watch of the film.

Oh, and there was an American remake, which apparently isn’t worth speaking of.

You know, people are scary enough when they're not doppelgangers or vampires.

Wow, never would have expected Dracula to be the killjoy realist.

Think about it!

One last note: Hey, Christmas is happening this week! I’m going to take a break from list posts for tomorrow and Friday. If you are able to enjoy the holiday, please relax and watch a good Christmas horror film, such as Krampus (2015), Black Christmas (1974), or Jack Frost (1997).

We resume on Monday!

Adrenaline · Dec 23, 2020

The remake is pretty good, actually.

YangusKhan · Dec 23, 2020

Adrenaline said:
The remake is pretty good, actually.

I've heard it's much better than you would expect from an American remake of a non-English horror movie.

Kishi · Dec 23, 2020

While I give the edge to the original film, I agree the American remake (Let Me In, released just two years later) is also good, in different ways.

Let the Right One In is very special to me, for many reasons. I've actually only seen it once, during its original release, but you can see I rate it my favorite horror film nonetheless. I should really watch it again, if only I can prepare myself for how hard it hits.

YangusKhan · Dec 23, 2020

Man, I was still in college the one and only time I watched Let the Right One In. I don't remember it very well at all! But I also somehow own a copy of it I don't remember getting? So the problem can fix itself.

Vaeran · Dec 23, 2020

Us came close to making my list but got cut because I have bad taste. Absolutely agreed that Lupita Nyong'o is a complete badass, though.

Adrenaline · Dec 23, 2020

I disagree with the idea that Us is less socially biting than Get Out, but it is less literal about it so it's easier to ignore.

Octopus Prime · Dec 23, 2020

Having watched neither, I often confuse Us with This is Us.

I am lead to understand that these are very different bodies of work

ShakeWell · Dec 23, 2020

Adrenaline said:
The remake is pretty good, actually.

Yeah, I was going to say, I've heard some people put it in the same league as The Ring, saying the American version is the better one. I've still not seen either, despite both being pretty well loved on this particular message board when they were new.

ShakeWell · Dec 23, 2020

Tegan said:
Us is the first thing on this list that I didn't know existed. What a pleasant surprise!

Best use of "Fuck the Police" in a movie.

Issun · Dec 23, 2020

Octopus Prime said:
Having watched neither, I often confuse Us with This is Us.

I am lead to understand that these are very different bodies of work

I haven't watched Us and I've only seen a cold open of a Very Special This is Us (every episode of This is Us is a Very Special episode) where they think Peter Petrelli died saving a dog from a fire and then SURPRISE! he's fine.

So from what I know, only one of those two media is actually good. Both of todays movies are really ones I should have seen already but I don't very often watch a ton of movies. I'm more a books and video games guy.

Dracula · Dec 28, 2020

Okay, the happy holidays are over. Time to get SPOOKED!

SPOOOOKS!

One spook, coming right up.

No. 18 Halloween (1978)
Points: 129 | Lists: YangusKhan (#5); Falselogic (#23); Teg (#11); Beta Metroid (#14); Shakewell (#3)
“Death has come to your little town, Sheriff.”

Halloween is a 1978 American independent slasher film directed and scored by John Carpenter, co-written with producer Debra Hill, and starring Donald Pleasence and Jamie Lee Curtis in her film debut. The plot tells about a mental patient who was committed to a sanitarium for murdering his teenage sister on Halloween night when he was six years old. Fifteen years later, he escapes and returns to his hometown, where he stalks a female babysitter and her friends, while under pursuit by his psychiatrist.

Drac’s Notes: First off, now that we’re closing in on the top 15, we’re gonna switch to one entry per day. Now, with that out of the way, let’s talk about one of the great classics of horror. Halloween from 1978 is a little movie about a bad guy with a knife chasing a young lady through the suburbs, and it kicked off decades of sequels and imitators about bad guys with various phallic weapons chasing young ladies through every setting you can imagine, from the deep sea to outer space. Though killer Michael Myers is nothing more than a disturbed man in a mask, the film’s characters, particularly Donald Pleasence’s Dr. Loomis, treats him as a supernatural threat more akin to the boogeyman, and the film even refers to him in the credits as “the shape.” The suburban setting was novel for the time - in the era of white flight, it was a little subversive to see a nice white babysitter lady run screaming through the streets, pounding on every neighbor’s door, and still find no respite from her stalker. No nice neighbor comes to her aid, and ultimately she only has herself to depend on to defeat her adversary. Carpenter has said that real horror looks inward, not outward. Dr. Loomis refuses to humanize Myers, even though we know he is human under the mask. This tells us something about the nature of Myers' horror - he is a monster now, but how did he become one? What enabled him? When the system designed to rehabilitate people like Myers can only think to stop him with a gun - well, maybe that's the real scare.

Octopus Prime · Dec 28, 2020

I ain’t never watched no ‘ween.

It’s a weirdly huge oversight in my movie history

Octopus Prime · Dec 28, 2020

Or go the other way and history now calls him The Shrek

ShakeWell · Dec 28, 2020

Halloween remains very effective, with low body-count and little blood, it's still one of the most horrifying films ever made. The Shape as a force of nature with no explanation is really what does it. And, as ever, attempts to explain it fall extremely flat (Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is an absolute dumpster fire, and while I've not seen the Producer's Cut, I'm told it's even worse).

Dracula · Dec 28, 2020

Yeah, part of the reason I've never explored the rest of the Halloween series (outside of III, which we've discussed already), is because I'm just not that interested in more Michael Myers. However I have heard good things about a couple of the sequels, including the 2018 film which brought back Jamie Lee Curtis.

Torzelbaum · Dec 29, 2020

Dracula said:
No. 19 Let the Right One In (2008)

Dracula said:
No. 19 Halloween (1978)

Uh... @Dracula - Shouldn't this be #18?

Peklo · Dec 29, 2020

I don't think this movie has left my brain ever since I saw it when I was like... six or seven? If reduced to a solitary case, it might be the reason I care about the medium at all, and shaped my tastes and sensibilities more than I care to track. It's sedate and quiet in ways most other genre pics don't attempt, and the stillness of the atmosphere is as long-lasting as any sudden spurt of violence that intrudes upon it. Myers' impact comes from the inexplicability of his being--the durability, the omnicompetence (why does he know how to drive), the build-agnostic displays of strength, the much-dramatized-by-Loomis unnatural patience during incarceration--but also the intimacy with which the audience is privy to details of his life: we know his name, his childhood family and living situation, his clinical history, his exact age, his hometown. As much as he's mythologized by his ridiculous psychiatrist, he's normalized through all the tiny things that are let on through in the depiction, reaching its peak in the climactic confrontation when he's briefly unmasked for the first time in adulthood, revealing... just a person, with the same blank, vague expression that he wore in childhood after the first horrific act. Movie monsters are so often literal ones, or demonized caricatures of human beings that make our vilification of them easier to undertake, and with Myers there's just this absence of a person wrapped in an exterior of normalcy, doing the worst things in the most impersonal, anonymous ways for reasons that are never understood.

Neo Skimbleshanks · Dec 29, 2020

ShakeWell said:
(Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is an absolute dumpster fire, and while I've not seen the Producer's Cut, I'm told it's even worse).

I've more often heard it's better, but I didn't actually think that when I watched it. It does have Paul Rudd gravely intoning that "I believe Michael is under the influence of an evil rune!" Also providing narration. If either version were just full of goofy shit like that they would be straightforwardly fun but they also have inexplicably grim fates for Jamie Myers. Kills the mood more than a bit.

Halloween is great. Michael has a classic design and the theme is perfect. Michael being scary or mysterious because he's inexplicable is just not something I've ever felt - I'm only frightened by the threat of jump scares in this! That's fine. Of the classic franchises, probably the best first entry for the worst franchise - I wish the reboots to bring JLC back were more interesting.

Appreciated the Rob Zombie movies when I watched them last year - Myers is an actual human in them, and the second one intentionally made me very sad. I have a great deal of affection for the silly lore-heavy stretch from 4-6 because I watched them a lot when I was a kid. (quite sad about some of the deaths there, too - Tina

- but I doubt they'd land as well if I didn't first watch when 9) Didn't realize H2O was supposed to wipe them away when it came out so I just thought Laurie abandoned Jamie... rude.

Resurrection is a bad movie but I love how it transgresses against slasher moralizing and the untouchability of Michael. Busta Rhymes' character is despicable and fully kicks his ass.

Johnny Unusual · Dec 29, 2020

Neo Skimbleshanks said:
Resurrection is a bad movie but I love how it transgresses against slasher moralizing and the untouchability of Michael. Busta Rhymes' character is despicable and fully kicks his ass.

My working theory is Busta Rhymes wrote the movie under a pen name.

Dracula · Dec 29, 2020

No. 17 The Exorcist (1973)
Points: 130 | Lists: Zef (#20); YangusKhan (#7); Falselogic (#3); Patrick (#9); Dr. Nerd (#16)
“Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, Karras, you faithless slime.”

The Exorcist is a 1973 American supernatural horror film directed by William Friedkin and produced and written for the screen by William Peter Blatty, based on the 1971 novel of the same name by Blatty. It follows the demonic possession of 12-year-old Regan and her mother's attempt to rescue her through an exorcism conducted by two Roman Catholic priests.

Drac’s Notes: The 1970s saw a revival of religious horror, and The Exorcist is one of the chief examples of the era. Nearly everyone has seen or heard of this movie, and if you haven’t seen it, you’ve probably seen it referenced in some other media. Friedkin’s depiction of a little girl possessed by a demon is unforgettable. Regan’s head spins, she spits green goo, her skin peels. The modern setting humanizes the ancient horrors and make them feel somehow more plausible.

Personally, I find this movie to be a little overblown and more goofy than scary (the scariest thing to me honestly is the carotid angiography sequence, where they drain some of Regan's cerebrospinal fluid to allow for a better x-ray. The demon stuff is easy compared to this.), but it’s definitely worth a watch as one of the classics.

Oh, c'mon, that's not demonic possession, even I can do that backwards head thing.

You're an alive skeleton. You don't count. But yeah. I'm a demon and I wouldn't make a little girl spit at a priest. That's just rude.

Hey Slaur! The power of Christ compels yooooouuuu!

STOP THAT.

Torzelbaum said:
Uh... @Dracula - Shouldn't this be #18?

Why, whatever do you mean...?

Neo Skimbleshanks · Dec 29, 2020

This might be the most well-known horror movie I've never seen, though I guess I'll have to see the rest of the list.

Just Keep Telling Yourself It's Only a Thread: Talking Time's Top 50 Horror Movies!

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