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Just Keep Telling Yourself It's Only a Thread: Talking Time's Top 50 Horror Movies!

Patrick

Magic-User
(He/Him)
28 Days later is a great flick. The Godspeed You! Black Emperor soundtrack over empty streets in London is chilling.
 

ShakeWell

Slam Master
(he, etc.)
28 Days Later is still incredible and were it not for the existence of Trainspotting, would probably be my favorite Danny Boyle film. It is, unfortunately, one of those films that retroactively feels less than it is because it birthed a thing a lot of people hate (running zombies). Still, Cillian Murphy is great, the cinematography is wonderful, etc, etc. Felt like a breath of fresh air in 2003 when it hit the US.

I love, love, love the Friday films. They lack both the highest highs and lowest lows of Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Nightmare on Elm Street series, but that consistency is what I think makes them great. They have enough budget (generally) to have good effects, competent cinematography, and all the things that cheap horror lacks, but they're also about as unpretentious as it comes. They churned them out at an incredible rate, with massive time jumps from installment to installment that would put part 8 in the late '90s. They have almost 0 fucks to give about continuity (Jason is dead, but now he's not, but now he is, but now he's not, but now he might be Tommy, but now he's a guy named Roy, oh whatever, who fucking cares, let's crush someone's skull by twisting a belt around a tree).

Part 3D is my personal favorite, and definitely the one I've seen most, as the Times Cinema used to show it every Friday the 13th at midnight when I live in Milwaukee. It loses a lot by not seeing the ridiculous 3D effects (though that method of photography makes it the only Friday in fucking cinemascope, which is weird to look at), but in 3D? They lean in so hard, and do so much ridiculous stuff (personal favorite kill: 35 year-old "teenager" getting his head crushed in Jason's hands and his eyeball popping out right at the camera), that the charm is off the charts.

My wife got me the new Scream Factory blu-ray set for my birthday (@Neo Skimbleshanks this does include a 3D blu of Part 3, if you have a 3D TV), and I'm working my way through them one at a time to do a definitive ranking, which you can follow on my Letterboxd account here.
 
I already own all the Friday movies... do I wanna spend more than 100 dollars for just a 3D copy of Part III if that’s the only way to get one...? Maybe!
 
I also have not seen 28 Days Later since it first came out on DVD, and somehow I remembered Robert Carlyle being in it. Probably because Danny Boyle directed it.
 

ShakeWell

Slam Master
(he, etc.)
My slasher heart belongs to another (whom I hope appears on this list), but I admire how Jason is just kinda always down for murder. He comes back from the grave in Jason Lives and just immediately starts looking for horny teenagers. I haven't gotten to it yet* but I assume Jason X has a moment where he wakes up in space and is just like... "alright, guess we're doin' this now. Where's my hockey mask?"

*I only watch a new one every Friday the 13th and started three years ago. I won't get to see Jason X until October of 2023.

Jason X has some moments, one of which includes the best kill in the series.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
I feel like I always like the Friday franchise in theory than in practice. I feel Halloween is a better movie and Michael Myers is a better villain but I have more of a soft spot for Jason. I think its because despite being a bloodthirsty killer, he is... well, I think he's in more of a sentinel role, only hunting in his stomping grounds. He's like Lawful/Neutral Evil compared to Freddy Kreuger, who is a great villain but when the series is more about him being a murder clown, well, his sadism makes the whole endeavor tiresome in the lesser films. Meanwhile Jason goes from agile and ambulatory to hulk zombie terminator but despite that I think he's still fun to watch even when his movies are not very good. Michael Myers has more going on thematically but Jason's iconic status and MO makes me enjoy him as a character more.

Really need to see 28 Days Later again. In general, I like the movies of Danny Boyle.

Jason X has some moments, one of which includes the best kill in the series.

I feel like Jason X is actually one of the weaker outings but with some strong individual elements and moments.
 

WildcatJF

Let's Pock (Art @szk_tencho)
(he / his / him)
28 Days Later is my favorite pure horror film. It really just feels like it would be the reality of such a situation, which I think makes it doubly scary.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Jason X is a horror comedy where every single character is in on the joke and playing it completely seriously.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Points: 62 | Lists: Dracula (#4); Kirin (#8)
"I see you shiver with antici..."


Drac's Notes: Now here's one that I'm a bit sad to say didn't make the big list, possibly because it's on the borderline of being a "horror" movie, even if the word horror is right there in the name. If you're somehow not familiar with the most famous midnight movie ever made, Rocky Horror is a musical about Brad and Janet, a straight-laced couple who find themselves trapped in a mansion with a clan of alien drag queens. The lead alien, Dr. Frank N. Furter, played by absolute legend Tim Curry, is conducting an experiment to build the perfect man in his laboratory.

Honestly though, the plot of this movie doesn't matter. Rocky Horror is the ultimate cult movie - it flopped in theaters, but it found its audience at late-night showings, where people developed a cult-like series of rituals to perform in the theater, like shouting lines back at the screen and throwing bread. People dress up, they dance, it's a great time. This is half the reason people see this movie over and over.

The other half is because it's awesome. It's world-class camp. It has tons of references to older horror movies, particularly Frankenstein. The cast is amazing. The songs are catchy. Meatloaf shows up, for chrissakes. I would honestly watch this movie every day. We almost always show it near the end of our yearly Halloween party, and not having a chance to do that this year was a real drag, man.

"...pation!"
 

Daikaiju

Rated Ages 6+
(He, Him)
Sidenote: Richard O'Brien played Lawrence Fletcher in Phineas & Ferb. His Max Mainframe number is choice.

 

ShakeWell

Slam Master
(he, etc.)
I've seen Rocky Horror in a theatre more than any other movie, but I didn't put it on my list because I don't consider it a horror film.
 

Adrenaline

Post Reader
(He/Him)
I think Friday the 13th is the horror series I've seen the most movies in, largely because they're on streaming services the most consistently. None of them are great but it's always pretty fun to put one on and laugh for a while.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
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No. 13 Army of Darkness (1992)
Points: 148 | Lists: Sabrecat (#23); Issun (#9); Torzelbaum (#22); Kirin (#4); Octopus Prime (#13); Dr. Nerd (#3)
“Good? Bad? I’m the guy with the gun.”



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Army of Darkness is a 1992 American dark fantasy horror film directed, co-written and co-edited by Sam Raimi. It is the third installment in the Evil Dead franchise, and a sequel to Evil Dead II, and follows Ash Williams (Campbell) as he is trapped in the Middle Ages and battles the undead in his quest to return to the present.

Drac’s Notes: Army of Darkness, for me, was the ultimate high school horror comedy. I rewatched this film often, as well as its predecessors. My film nut friends idolized Sam Raimi for his humble horror beginnings which propelled him toward international success with movies like Spider-Man (2002). Army of Darkness was the biggest of the Evil Dead movies, with its epic medieval scope far beyond the haunted cabin-in-the-woods trappings of the first two.

I haven’t rewatched this movie in a long time, but the most recent time I saw it I found that some of its comedy didn’t work for much anymore. Ash’s anti-hero antics felt somehow empowering to me as a high schooler, but as an adult I found myself rolling my eyes. But I will say that this movie has a very good army of skeletons, and there are far too few films featuring such things.

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It's good to finally see myself in one of these films. Representation matters, folks.

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Now just imagine how hard it is for all the Slaurs trying to break into Hollywood...
 
I'd say this is also the film that cemented Bruce Campbell's status as nerd culture icon.

This was a nostalgia pick for me. I haven't watched it for a very long time, but it was a fun movie.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Army of Darkness is I believe the one exception to my rule of not voting for movies I can't reasonably call "horror".

Add enough skeletons to anything and it becomes scary, I guess.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Army of Darkness was emblematic of my entire list full of exceptions. But honestly it has lots of horror elements; it's basically the horror-comedy archetype at this point.
A dorm at my undergrad used to do an "Army of Burritos" event where they would go buy an absolutely ludicrous quantity of burritos and pack a lounge full of people to eat them and watch the Evil Dead movies all day. I don't think I ever actually went for the whole thing but I approve in concept.

I let Rocky Horror on my list completely because it says "Horror" in the title so there, but yeah, it's cult camp top to bottom.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
A dorm at my undergrad used to do an "Army of Burritos" event where they would go buy an absolutely ludicrous quantity of burritos and pack a lounge full of people to eat them and watch the Evil Dead movies all day.

I think this is the dudest undergraddest dormest thing I've ever read. I can practically smell the basketball shorts from here.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
I think this is the dudest undergraddest dormest thing I've ever read. I can practically smell the basketball shorts from here.
Funny thing is this was at the nerdiest engineering school you'd ever see. Did not stop college dudes from being college dudes, though.
 

ShakeWell

Slam Master
(he, etc.)

Immortalized in a ton of videogames! One of many films Duke Nukem cribbed from/paid homage to, "boomstick" shows up in at least a few other games, etc.

But yeah, Army of Darkness was one of my gateways that took me from the "scaredy cat baby" child I was to the "feed me all the horror" teen/adult I became. It was also the film that introduced me to the Evil Dead series. I kept my list to a "one-per-series" rule, which is why it didn't show up on my list, but it is pretty great.
 

Dracula

Plastic Vampire
(He/His)
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No. 12 Gremlins (1984)
Points: 153 | Lists: Kishi (#6); Issun (#2); Torzelbaum (#4); Kirin (#18); Octopus Prime (#2)
“Look Mister, there are some rules that you've got to follow.”

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Gremlins is a 1984 American comedy horror film directed by Joe Dante. The story follows a young man who receives a strange creature called a mogwai as a pet, which then spawns other creatures who transform into small, destructive, evil monsters that all wreak havoc on a whole town on Christmas Eve.

Drac’s Notes: Joe Dante might be my favorite director, so even though I didn’t vote for this particular film, I’m glad to see his work so high on our list. Dante came to Gremlins from modest means, beginning his career cutting trailers for Roger Corman’s film studio. He’s a huge fan of movies, which leads him to stuff his films full of cameos and references to film history, and it’s all done with a sense of joy and gratitude. Spielberg’s influence in this movie gives it an air of honesty, and that plus the very marketable and adorable Mogwai (well...adorable until you feed them after midnight) meant this movie has become a hallmark of 1980s horror comedy.

Incidentally, Dante’s original intention was for it to be much closer to horror than it ended up being. The movie was meant to have several more gruesome deaths than were depicted in the final version. It’s probably for the best, because this would have limited the audience and maybe would have resulted in a world without Gremlins 2. Which isn’t one I want to imagine.

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Hey, the Slaur! Are you a Mogwai?

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What? No, I'm a Slaur. The Slaur. It's...it's in my name.

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Well, y'know, I just figured, with the hair and the scales...

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There's a huge difference. For example, if you feed me after midnight, I don't transform. I just gain weight overnight and wake up depressed.

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What if you got wet?

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Well, it's possible I would write a series of best-selling young adult novels starring a pink-haired monster. But probably I'd just get a rash.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
I voted for Gremlins because it's a horror movie that they just decided to turn into a comedy in the last 20 minutes or so.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Also to my understanding the film that more or less spawned the PG-13 rating, when Spielberg was getting flak for both it and Temple of Doom releasing as PG despite having moments of gore and horror.
 
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