Permanently Jacked In: Let's Play Mega Man Battle Network!

all of your ideas sound wonderful.

Yuck, I'm appalled at how insufferably boring I've let these past few entries be. Sorry, guys. I'll make it up to everyone in the second half of the game. I'm going to stop trying to break it up into logical chunks (cutting each chapter down the middle into two parts) and just play it normally. After, playing part of the next entry this morning, I can tell that the next post will be of a different pedigree. By that, I mean, of course, better.

Dude, they've all been totally fine. But if you're convinced you can make better posts, then that's even finer.

They've all been awesome as far as I'm concerned.

I think you're being your worst critic, I've like everything so far (seems everyone else has too)!

I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is one of the top-3 LPs I've read on the site.

Let's not go that far, yet. He's still in the beginning =)

This is true, but seriously, I am awash with love and zeal.

To be fair though: Tenatively in the top 3.

My disapproval is more focused on the fact that I spent less time wandering around exploring the world. I don't want to bog the LP down with lots of jacking into everything and collecting chips, but I would like to spend more time going around and talking to NPCs. I always skip that when I play through games the first time.

In the mean time, I'd more prefer people's criticisms/suggestions of my comic and radio drama theories. (That is, should anyone have any.)

A radio drama could be interesting, I've had a similiar idea with oral histories, the problem being of course is the quality of your voice actors. Even with a great script without good VA it'll be terrible.

I didn't care to do a picture of Froid and IceMan.

My brother's wife had a baby today, but you are the one who made this day special.

Also, if you drink purple fountain water, you deserve to die.

Seeing as I don't know anyone who is enamored of video games enough to stake their time on such a project, it's probably just as well I don't go through with it. What's more, I'd have to spend a lot of time poking around for sound effects and, for lack of a better term, aural padding. I just don't know where to find these things. I suppose I could make music myself as long as people didn't have high expectations.

Of course, if people don't have high expectations that means the VA doesn't have to be strikingly superlative either, just satisfactory.

Part VII: Avoidance Response



This entry in the Mega Man series features a very familiar, very Wily man. Although, this one is a variation on the theme. As you can see from his onomatopoeia, it's Feral Wily.



Not only are their plans being thwarted, they're stocks have plunged. Wily should've invested in something more stable like ice cream sundaes.



At this point, one must consider that there is still a serious problem with the idea of "controlling" an unstructured conglomeration of networked computers. Wily isn't fazed by logic, though; that rubber tree plant is coming down even if it kills him.



Wily's subordinates are prostrate with apology and try to explain about Lan: Man, Myth, LEGEND!



Wily isn't buying it. Like most target fixated individuals, he is convinced that his plot is too foolproof to be thwarted.



Aww! Boss, can't we just kill him?



Wily's hired help is restless. So restless, they are, that they name drop. And so you ask, "What's a LifeVirus?". I think it's self-explanitory.



Back at home, MegaMan has just finished work on the homepage. Since there's nothing to dust, nor has there ever been anything there at all, Lan doesn't have a clue what MegaMan is talking about.



Roll strolls in and gives Lan some email.



Looks like Mayl wants to drag Lan along on a shopping trip. Lan's natural, gut response signals him to run and hide.

So, Lan decides to hold off on that reply for a while.

Since Lan hasn't been getting many days off, lately, he decides to take some time to wander around. He want's to reacquaint himself with what being a kid is all about. That means pestering people.



Lan greets his Mother. She's concerned about her husband who, to his knowledge, hasn't been back home in weeks.



Just outside the door, Lan gets more mail. Froid's shows himself to be a pretty nice guy. He has a friend get Lan on the Official NetBattler mailing list. But, he doesn't send us the ball-cap and sweater vest.



This woman tells Lan to keep Mayl company. Lan can't think of anything more horrifying. (Aside: Either people are giants or houses are built smaller in Japan. That woman could reach up and yank Mayl out of her room if she wanted.)



Lan considers this man a prophet.



This man tells Lan about the Abe Lincoln shaped potato chip he found.



No, MegaMan!



Lan tries to nudge this girl in the direction of becoming a master NetBattler.



It doesn't work as expected.



ProTip: For those looking to stave off premature wrinkles: goop on your face doesn't work, NetBattling does.

Lan helps this man by returning his dentures. The man snatches them from Lan and shoves them right back in his...Ewww! Lan picked that up off the ground! Lan still gets a Recov80 chip out of it, bad hygiene or none.



Lan goes to school and catches this guy in the middle of contemplating stapler theft.



Lan wonders about this until he spies a broken TCRI container hidden in the back.



Lan enters the school and searches end-to-end. All he finds is some chip that a kid left in a manga adaptation of "A Tale of Two Cities".



Quit bothering Lan about that, Mega!

Lan leaves school and goes over to Dex's house before heading for the Metroline. Of course, he doesn't want to fight GutsMan again, he just want's to loot the place.



Of course, there's nothing here except smutty doujinshi and a GameCube. It was the biggest waste of Lan's time.

(Note: I didn't know about doujinshi when I first played the game. My mind defaulted to assuming he'd stashed Playboys, or the like. The effect is not, at all, the same.)

Anyway, it's time for a rematch against WoodMan, so Lan takes the Metroline to the Government Complex.



Yessir, Ms. Sal. Lan does, indeed, want a rematch.



I won't bother you with the specifics but Lan put it over to WoodMan, in no uncertain terms, that he was no longer a threat.

(Note: I won this, primarily, because of the new weapon chips and not because of the new Recov80s.)



Sal gives Lan the /Sal link to access more of the Net, should he ever decide to go spelunking.



Lan doesn't expect much from the people in Water Works but he goes inside anyway. This woman explains to him basic biology.

For the last time, No!



Over in the science lab, Lan learns an unjust truth.



From this guy, we learn that Dr. Hikari invented the PET and now the research is continued by his son. Wait. Lan hasn't been doing any research....

....Oh.



This "scientist" tries to rationalize his tube-watching as research. Lan isn't stupid.



This girl has decided to stop looking for a good man and start looking for cool chips. Lan doesn't have a Repair H, so he leaves her hanging.



This guy can take one look at Froid and see he's been to the gym lately. Lan talks to Froid but there isn't much to hear. The only thing Lan can do is NetBattle him and he did that the other day.



Cyberpunk Overtones!



With all that done, it's time to head off to DenTown to see what's the haps.



Welcome to the Big City, Lan.



In Dentown, people make questionable statements. If it's so popular with the young people, where are they?

Foreshadowing, watch for it.



This girl tries to give Lan some advice. It's useless advice because DenTown is all of five screens large. It's the thought that counts.

Behind this girl is an antique store, inside...



We find Miyu, the fetching goth girl. She yammers on about some spirits of who-the-whatever and then asks us if we want to NetBattle. Lan's feeling pretty good about himself, so he agrees.



Battle Gab
SkullMan hits the hardest of all the bosses I've fought lately but he's slower and more predictable. That doesn't keep me from getting bested three times in a row.



SkullMan will shoot fire from his mouth in a straight line which is cake to evade. But his MegaMan tracking blades are a little more trouble. Thankfully, they're destructable. His third attack (not pictured) is to drop a gigantic skull head on top of Mega but it's no trial to dodge unless you've left the blades around.



SkullMan does a pretty good job of laying waste to MM before I decide I need another restorative chip. I add the Recov80 that I got from the old man who lost his dentures. (This act turns out to be purely ceremonial as I don't have to heal in the fourth duel.)



On the last try, I win and do a pretty good job. My reward is even more unnecessary zenny.



Miyu is pretty impressed with Lan after this. She isn't impressed enough to suggest that she and Lan "grow together and become as one" but she does give him the /Miyu link which is fine enough.



Lan's feels a swell of pride at winning against both SkullMan and WoodMan but he's soon brought down to Earth. He finds himself incapable of correcting this situation.



This old guy likes goth girls too.

Lan assumes that this is the guy whose life was reformed back in Part 2. He's still at a loss as to how to stem the inevitable takeover of the net.



Lan's last stop is this summer school. Despite his reservations he goes inside.



Hot dog! Lan meets Ms. Mari's, previously unmentioned, twin sister: Yuri. Yuri's a self-confidant lass.



Something, in the back of my mind, tells me that there's a tasteless Mari/Yuri doujin in existance and that thought is a little unsettling.



This kid is quite taken with Ms. Yuri. Lan doesn't blame him.

(I going to go out on a limb and say that I think every one has, at least once, harbored a less-than-academic thought about a teacher.)



Lan pilfers a Barrier R chip from some unwitting student's locker. Will the thievery ever stop?



Lan sees a problem he can't understand and has the natural response: jack in and beat it into submission. (This is the first instance of Lan voluntarily jacking into something.)



Lan is rewarded with, yet another, PowerUP program.

That reminds me, I still haven't applied the first one...



Huh? Whatever you say



MegaMan gets more than just a PowerUP program, though, he gets a shameful defeat at the hands of a random battle. These guys are trouble just because they lay mines. MegaMan just didn't watch where he stepped.

After reloading, MegaMan goes back, grabs that PowerUP, and immediately jacks out.



Lan looks around and realizes there isn't much left to do to procrastinate.



So, he agrees to respond to Mayl's mail.



Lan remembers that he can't simply email it. He has to get back on the Net so MegaMan can manually walk over to Mayl's piano and give Roll the message. Seems awfully tedious for it to be future-time.



Lan gets a Recov50 for his trouble, though, so it's not a complete waste of time.



Stop jinxing Lan, MegaMan!



Ah hah! For once, Lan is punctual and Mayl isn't. Lan takes this opportunity to give her a taste of her own sour cough syrup.



Mayl tries to give Lan the old, "Oh, I have to go to my grandmother's house and, oh yeah, wash my hair too." excuse.



Whatever you say, Mayl. Lan's not accepting any empty promises without collateral.

She doesn't acknowledge this and just biffs off.



Lan wonders to himself if he can actually pick out a present for Yai that won't illicit horror and disgust. This may be Lan's first leap of faith.

Next Time: Extortion Schemes!

Anyone who can beat Sal is automatically a good guy? Does that Naruto headband give her a constant Protection from Evil effect? Wait, maybe this is her version of swearing fealty to Lan after her defeat.

That thing is your knowledge of anime otaku culture, I think. Besides, her name is "Yuri" for crying out loud.

I'm sorry about the delay in Part 8 getting here. Among one or two freelance work opportunities, I've been in open combat with a battalion of cockroaches.

The next post should be up tomorrow.

Part VIII: The Damsel in Distress Scenario

Though, relatively, uneasy about buying a present for Yai. Lan does what Mayl asked and heads for DenTown.



At the railway station he gets an email from the NetBattler Board of Organized Group Committeedom inquiring as to the circumstances of the Water Works Incident.

You see, NetBattlers aren't required to fill out reports on their investigations like official government agencies require their agents to do. It's part of the mystique and charm and awesome-itude of being a NetBattler. As one, you are constantly operating at your own volition with little face-to-face interaction with your superiors, it seems.



Once arriving in DenTown, Lan gets a message from Mayl telling him that she has managed to get everything done at her grandparent's house and is now on her way in a bus. This proves Mayl's story as being more than simply a dodge to saddle Lan with the responsibility of getting Yai a present.

Mayl suggests antiques as a possible present option and gives Lan the Roll2 chip.



Only moments later, Lan gets another email. It's a message from Chaud that is a response to the NBBoOGC's inquisition. I consider this to be an accident on Chaud's part. I doubt he intended to send everyone the information. He probably accidentally pressed "Send to All Contacts". But, that theory necessitates that he have Lan's email address. This doesn't appear to be adhering to any standards of logic so I'm going to skip it.



Earlier, in her email, Mayl said she'd meet Lan here at the DenTown Block One bus stop. But, she's not here. On approaching the bus stop, the intersection lights start acting strange. They begin to flicker erratically.



And, then they turn all-way green.



The inevitable occurs in the most violent scene in the game. No doubt, the censors at Capcom America spent hours deciding whether to leave in the resulting car crash. For the sake of the women and children, I'm cutting it out.

As you can see, the populous is gasping with terror.



Following on the heels of this unprecedented display of raw carnage, Lan recieves an email from none other than the WWW (Window Washing Whiteboys). They advertise their newest business venture. In the quickest reaction time ever seen, they claim to have the solution to the traffic light bug problem. For the low, low price of one million zenny anyone can buy the software to install in their cars.

Really, Bad Guys? Is a new program in everyone's car going to help when all the lights are green? Are everyone's sentient cars going to, suddenly, interpret green lights differently? Please, explain this to me.

I know it's just a scheme to rake in the moola but I doubt anyone will be dumb enough to go in for it.



Or, maybe they will.



Lan sees the public's need and sets to fixing the problem not masking the symptoms. He jacks into the light pole.

One might assume that lightpoles would be under some kind of lock-and-key arrangement but one would also be dead wrong.



Dungeon Smalltalk
Welcome to the latest dungeon. For the record, this section isn't the entire dungeon. This is merely the introduction. The rest of the chapter consists of several instances of, what is essentially, the same dungeon.

The light pole functions simply. There are blue pathways and red pathways. MegaMan can only traverse them when they are lit. There are floating balls that act as switches (above). When one color path is lit, the other isn't.



The goal is to go around the winding loop and return to the beginning with the platform lit red instead of blue. Once red, MegaMan can punch the switch and make the light in the real world return to proper working procedure.



Mega, I don't think anyone cares how fast you two fixed the problem.



Lan rushes to stop the great fleece. Since these people are gullible, they believe Lan when he tells them that he's fixed the lights instead of assuming it's a prank.



Madd, the WWW (Honestly, I'm going to have to break out the dictionary next time.) associate, gets supremely miffed at Lan, threatens the welfare of friends and family, and walks off.



Mega expresses a certain amount of unease as Lan makes for the bus stop, once again.



On his way, Lan gets a phone call from Mayl. She's explains her dire situation and all are overcome with shock.



Lan rushes to Block 4 and jacks into the light system. Like the previous, the goal is the same. MegaMan must travel in a big circle and return to the beginning. He does and turns the lights red in this section.



However, MegaMan is a split second too slow as the force field comes up just after the bus passes. Lan understands he's got more light maintenance to do and returns to the center of DenTown.



On arrival, Lan gets a call from Madd. She makes a misjudgment and refers to Mayl as Lan's girlfriend. She also tells Lan that she's rigged the bus to explode in a somewhat vague rip off of Speed.

Lan moves to DenTown block....ehh...well, where he's supposed to be and jacks into the light system there.



After a minute or two of wandering, MegaMan restores order here too.



Though I didn't get a screenshot at the right moment, the force field activates in time to slow the bus a little but not stop it.



On his travels to the next mission waypoint, Lan gets an email from Mayl. She's worried about getting exploded to bits. She doesn't have to be, Lan's going to save the day.



In the next-to-last dungeon section, Lan continues in his former efforts.

I want to take a moment to say that, even though it is repetitive, this is still my favorite dungeon in the game. You'll remember that in the Water Purifier there were a few sliding puzzles. Technically, they weren't really puzzles as there was never a clear indication of where to move next. They were simply trial-and-error gimmicks. It was frustrating and boring.

This set of dungeon sections are small, straightforward, and the puzzle aspect is never trial and error as the machinations of the puzzle are obvious from the beginning. It never gets to the point of feeling tedious even if it is repeated in five mini-dungeons.



By turning the previous switch red, Lan is able to slow the bus to a crawl.



Returning to the center of DenTown, Lan has one more dungeon to go.



This, being the final section, is slightly different. Instead of having one switch, (the one associated with the real-world light that Lan, it just so happens, wants to change) it has, four total, one for each light in the intersection. The dungeon is still one big circle and is no more difficult than the last but the versimilitude is helped by having four individual switches for each light and not just one for all.



The bus slides into the cage and MegaMan throws the final switch.



The, above, use of the cage mechanism is the best procedure for capturing a bus in the wild. Use it for good.

Tension escalates!



Oop! No Dice, WWW.



Looks like Mayl decided to take matters into her own hands. Or, have Roll take matters into her own hands.



Now, there's never been any indication that Mayl is interested in NetBattling or chip harvesting. So, this implication that Roll is weaker than MegaMan has nothing to do with the fact that she's a girl and is more associated with Mayl not having boosted Roll's chip selection.



ColorMan is pretty cocky. He thinks he'll beat both Mega and Roll. Fat chance of that.



It's that time again!



Battle Gab
ColorMan is no clown but he's less difficult than SkullMan.



He has two blocking dumies, each of them have one elemental attack. They're both rather slow and no big issue to evade. His third attack is a bouncing ball in the manner of the Bubbler random enemy. It follows you, in a slow bounce threatening damage at every turn, until it's destroyed.



While he's moving, ColorMan is easiest to hit with the shockwave type chips as they aren't stopped by the dummies. During the ball attack, he'll remain stationary for a significant amount of time. It's considerably easier to shoot past his dummies during this period.

It got a bit hairy when he started throwing up the balls and I took some damage. However, there were no discouraging deaths. I'm very thankful that ColorMan is stationary when the ball is in play. I guess, he'd be dead weight in a soccer match up.



Lan's reward is 3000 more zenny.

MegaMan confirms Roll is in satisfactory condition.



In the real world, Mayl is happy to be alive. Lan's not so cheerful to have been called out of early hero retirement.



Mayl thanks him in her own special way, which amounts to nothing in particular, besides making Lan uncomfortable.



Before any yucky kissing happens, Mayl decides it's time to go find Yai a present.



I believe the word is relief, Lan; she was in a near death experience.



No it's not. You're relieved, remember, you were in a near death experience.



Thanks, a lot, Mega.

The rest of the day continues, as it should: without event.

Meanwhile...



Back at the hideout, the big boss is shaming Madd.



For his next trick, Wily will pull another minion from his hat: Count Zap! Notice, even Wily thinks, that the name is lame. He has difficulty just trying to enunciate it.



Count Zap is Frankenstein's monster's cousin with an affinity for electricity. He hears and obeys, which makes him better than some dogs and children. But, how will he fair as a opponent?

Come back next time for...
Marine Encounters!

The next dungeon is awesome. Who doesn't love double whammy boss encounters?

Guys, I need to tell you that I'm having some problems with tendonitis (muscle fatigue in the wrists/general RSI) lately. I'm going to finish the LP but it may take longer than I originally intended. Just, FYI.

Uck, tendinitis never fails to stop me cold. Ice pack that sunnovabitch!

...or should that be heat...?