Spring forward? Fall back? Let's Play The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages!

I... don't like the sound of this either. But what the hell, let's run with it anyway.



See that gargantuan patch of black space down there? That's where we're off to now.



First we'll head into an underwater maze hidden beneath Crescent Island to pick up a Piece of Heart! <3



And we're here. But what now?



Hmm...



Well that worked pretty well. Onwards.



Huh, that's a whole lot of jellyfish, innit? I wonder what's going on with the waters here.

Excuse me, but Link is a man. A merman, if you will.



I'll just set the checkpoint here...



And, uh... whoa. That's one big fish.

Jabu-Jabu is, of course, yet another Expy from Ocarina of Time, though his presence here is a little baffling to say the least. I mean, some of the others I could take as a coincidence, but this is just getting lazy.



200 rupees! That's pure bliss!



Yeah yeah yeah, and I'm supposed to go heal him, right? Whatever, I'll be back in a sec.



Whoop whoop.



Bwoop bwoop.



"My only friend, the end."



......



......



......

There, was that so hard? I mean, my God.



Hey, fuck you. That cost me a fortune to save your ass. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a Big Fish's privacy I have to invade.



Yes, Jabu-Jabu. Big fish. Whatever he's called. Gotta go, destiny calls and all that.



Yep.



-Clean up the oceans, I got it. Brb



First things first: research! Gotta know what this stuff is before we can mop it up.



I'll need the Book of Seals to reach this Fairy Powder, eh?



Welp, off to the future for more clues.

Re-he-heally? Think we can share notes? I'll go grab a few books first from the back.



Or... not. I guess an unstable time loop is the next order of business?



Looks like a good enough place...




Oh man, an invisible maze. Why'd they have to throw this in now?

It's pretty simple, though. Just follow the instructions in the various books and you'll make your way to the center fairly easily. Of course, whether or not this is necessary is another question entirely, but I'll leave this up to you guys to figure out.



Yep.



Now we'll just hand the stuff to this lady (?) here...

And we're done.



Yep. Now let's go hustle a king to let us inside a fish.



Son of a...



Much better. Now it's off to dungeon #7 of Oracle of Ages!



Open wide~!



And here we are: Jabu-Jabu's Belly, AKA the requisite awful water dungeon of the games. It's also incredibly lazy, since it's basically a rehash of the original Jabu-Jabu's Belly and Ocarina of Time's Water Temple (more on that later).



The entire dungeon, as you can imagine it, takes place underwater, so use of the Mermaid Suit is pretty much a given. There are also a lot of Switch Hook puzzles like the one shown, which should give you a hint as to what we'll be picking up this update...

We can't solve all of them quite yet though, so we'll have to leave this room alone for now.



The yellow panels on the floor of the first level are areas where you can submerge back above water. Our first goal for now is on the second floor, so we'll explore a bit here first.



Dungeon map~



Exploring more of the dungeon hints towards something even more sinister than water...



...Namely the presence of these switches here. Rememeber way back in the Water Temple of Ocarina of Time, how you had to play Zelda's Lullaby at specific spots to change the water level? Same thing, though thankfully it's gotten a lot more linear since then. Our first goal is to drain the first floor of water, so onto the red switch we go.



With the water empty, we now have enough traction to push this block here, netting us a key. The water's absence also allows us to use the Cane of Somaria here and head further east.



After a while, we climb further up the dungeon and cross a few more pitfalls and spikes...



Which brings us to switch #2, raising the water level back up for us. But what was the point of all that, you ask?

To cross this gap here, of course.



Eventually, we come across an emtpy room underground and come across this fishy fellow here. Poor Angler Fish - he used to be a boss like Facade back in Link's Awakening, but since then he's been shrunken down and demoted to the ignoble status of mini-boss. In any case, he goes down easily - just shoot him with the Seed Shooter or slash at him with the Noble Sword and he should go down.



And finally, at long last, we grab the dungeon item, the Long Switch! Hooray!



Hooray!



The Long Switch finally lets us solve this puzzle here, though we'll need the room to be dry in order to drop a Somaria Block.



Yep.



Yeppers.

Eventually we reach the last switch, which means we're almost done here...



Buuuut it seems we're a bit short on keys to reach the Boss Key. Whoops. Guess it's time to backtrack a bit.



Huh, so that's where it was.



This might take a while...



And it does, since a lot of the backtracking had to deal with pressing those damnable switches and then looting the place. But whatever! We're done here, so let's go.



I'll admit, Plasmarine here had me stumped for a little while, but then again I'm a bit of an idiot, so. Anyway, the battle plan is as simple as it can get; switch places with him when he fires off an attack and he'll change colour and take the hit. Repeat ad nausium until he's dead.



Done like dinner.

I swear, you can't make this shit up.



Bo-ring. Let's cut to the real villain instead.



There we go, much better. ...What a minute-



Aw geez, why you have to do a thing?



The Maku Tree let's us know what's up and tells us she can't find the last essence. But if it's like the last game, then there's only one place left to look...



Next time: The Ancient Tomb and the Falling Star!

Heh, I'd forgotten that there was a Let's Play of Oracle of Seasons and Ages here until today. If there's one thing I remembered about the games, it's that they had some rings you could buy with different effects, including some useless transformation rings and a couple of useless rings available via using the Game Boy Advance's backwards compatibility. Also, I remember a certain little Easter Egg relating to this locale in OoS.
If you're up to it, try detonating a bomb on the Moblin King's bomb pile and run out of that house a few times. You won't be disappointed with the results and eventual outcome of doing so.

Welcome back. Last we left off, we had to run a few errands for an incredibly lazy king and then travel inside a big fish to grab the seventh essence. All that's left now is to find the last essence and smash Veran once and for all.



As a token of their appreciation, the Zora's give us one of their scales as proof of our good work. It doesn't really do much, but hey. At least they say thanks, unlike certain other places (*cough*Symmetry City*cough*).



My first stop is to pick up another Iron Shield, which got gobbled up by a Like-Like in the last dungeon. I swear, my luck with these things is terrible.



Oh hey, another free Magic Potion. Thanks, Maple!



Might as well take the time to run a few errands. These Gasha Seeds aren't gonna plant themselves, yanno.



Someone's digging for treasure on Goron Mountain in the past, and need some Bombs to blast the place apart. Might as well make a donation to this worthy cause (but seriously, we want that treasure, y'hear?).



Money makes the world go round~



By the by, you remember that Heart Piece I skipped over because I didn't remember how to get it? Yeah. I r dumb. :/

Anyway, so that Zora Scale? It's what we need to get into this secluded part here. The Sea of Storms only has one entrance into the center and this guy here is barring the path to anyone not ready for it.



Taking a brief detour nets us another Gasha Seed...



But more interestingly, a familiar pirate ship is sailing around in the center? I wonder who it could be?



Hey, long time, no sea! Get it, sea? Man, I am such a kidder...



Turns out the good ol' Cap'n is stuck in the sea of storms and needs our charm to get him out of there. Let's help him out, if only because he reminds us of a far better game.



For our help, he hands us a Tokay Eyeball (wha!?) and drops us off onto a nearby shore. But what now?



Well, where there's Tokays, there's trouble. Let's head over to Crescent Island and figure this out there.

Oh hey, so that's the Tokay Eyeball that's gone missing.





Power means kill four Gibdo with extreme prejudice.



Wisdom means navigate a rather simple maze.



Courage means find your way across invisible flooring.



And that's all there is to it.



Well... not quite. Guess there's another maze we have to figure out.



It's not too long though, and we reach the end quickly enough to find the next dungeon: the Ancient Tomb.

Fun fact: You can't warp back to the Graveyard in the present from here, which means you have to head all the way back to the entrance to warp out. How inconvenient! Though I guess it's necessary to prevent sequence breaking...



Our first order of business is to appraise these rings we've got. The only new one here is the Whimsical Ring, which is... well, whimsical. It drops your attack by a modest amount, but occasionally you'll deal deathblows with it as well. It's fun if you like to gamble, but not really worth the extra slot.



Might as well take the time to stock up a bit more...



(And yes, for the record, this is exactly as annoying as it looks.)



Anyway, the Ancient Tomb is another undead-themed dungeon, which isn't too bad because I kinda like these kinds of things but it sorta becomes obvious how they're starting to run out of ideas at this point.





This puzzle would be better if they didn't telegraph the solution right away.

This room sucks.




Tripping all of the switches here opens the way forward...



...and we find ourselves in another maze.



The majority of the maze revolves manipulating these two spinners here, as all the major paths onward pretty much stem from these two points.



Oh hey, a compass.



This goes on for a while... there's not really much to say other than that you can pretty much fumble your way through this floor.



Things start to get more interesting a little further in once we get to this block maze here. The trick is to hit the switch to raise yourself onto the blocks and hop across the bunch to the end.

Eventually we reach the mini-boss of the dungeon, the Blue Stalfos. Fighting him is fairly simple; just ricochet the magic he shoots back at him to turn him into a bat and then lay into him. Piece of cake, really.



The third floor of the dungeon is much different from the last, being broken up into four chunks that we've got to explore. At the end of each are one of four Slates that we'll need to open the way further, so exploration is the name of the game here.



Once you know what to do, the dungeon goes by pretty quickly...



Really, there isn't much to say - the dungeon pretty much solves itself at this point.



Until we get to this room, of course. This puzzle gets me every time, and the fact that the screen's too small for you to plot the correct path makes it all the more difficult. There's nothing really left for you to do except figure out though trial and error...

But when the going gets tough, the tough check a FAQ. Seriously, don't waste your time figuring out this mess of a puzzle.



Once Link's finished laying down tiling across the entire floor, we found ourselves with the Power Glove, AKA the biggest waste of an item in Zelda history. The only use for it is in this dungeon alone, and even then its main use is in picking up large caskets to chuck around. It's kind of a shame, really.



Pulling up one of the caskets on the floor above leads us to the Boss Key. Looks like we only need one more Slate to go before we can move on...



And that's it, I guess. But something's missing...



Ah, right. Thought I was forgetting something.



All that's left now is to clear a path forward and fight the last real boss of the game...

And here he is, the big guy himself, Ramrock!

Ramrock's fight is divided up into four stages, requiring different items to beat. The first phase has him duking it out with his fists; hit them back when they shoot across the room to cross-counter him into submission. For the second part, he'll try to crush you between two spiked knuckles, so toss a bomb in between them for a nasty surprise. For form three, you just have to fire a seed from your shooter behind that shield of his, and for the final form, you have to drag those iron balls of his far back for them to fly back into his face. None of the phases are particularly difficult, but it's nice to see a boss fight that doesn't rely exclusively on a dungeon item for once.



The Heart Container's ours! Hooray!



And that's all she wrote.



You have no idea how happy I am that I don't have to put up with these dumb analogies anymore. No idea.



Three guesses what we've got to do, and the first two don't count.



Next time: The Black Tower and the Sorceress of Shadows!

Whether they were running out of ideas or not, I felt that the Ancient Tomb and the areas before it did a good job of creating a forbidding, ominous atmosphere, especially for a Game Boy game.

Edit:

You should have mentioned how the puzzle isn't even solvable just by walking on the tiles; you have to use the Cane of Somaria to fill in the last one.

Nope, it's solvable as-is; you're thinking of the third one in the bonus dungeon (which I'll be getting to shortly).



Welcome back. Last time, we polished off the eighth and final dungeon and completed our collection of Essences. Now all that's left is to head down to the Maku Tree, pick up the seed and smash Veran to pieces. Are ya ready gang?



On our way out, we toss a couple of sarcophagi and come across a chest carrying a ring. Maple drops one off as well on our way back to town, so I guess it's time for a quick appraisal.



The Red Luck Ring isn't anything special (it halves the damage from spiked floors, which isn't very much to begin with) but the Blue Ring we picked up is a real gem, cutting all the damage we take significantly without the offensive reduction of the Armor Rings. This gets slapped on right away because who in their right mind would pass it up?



Yes, yes, and now we've got to stop Veran from being evil and stuff. Look, Link's already gone through this stuff so let's just cut to the chase.



And the imagery is as subtle as always...



And of course, what would this game be without the constant summarization from the hag twins?



I'll just summarize for them because seriously, they go on forever. They flashback to Zelda here and tell us outright that they're going to kidnap her at some point (but not right away, because then it might get in the way of our journey apparently). Needless to say, this is super-dumb and Christ what the hell was Capcom thinking?

Seriously, fuck you guys. You two spit on the face of everything I like about this series.



Before we save the world though, we've got two Heart Pieces to hunt down and there's really no better time to do it than now. So onwards to find the last Heart Container.



For Maple's I just savescum it over and over again until she drops it, reloading every time she drops junk instead. It appears surprisingly quickly, dropping on my sixth or so try. Of course, it can't be that easy... can it?



All right, that's it, the game's screwing with me now. There were no screenshots omitted between the first and last; it literally only took me three trees to find the infamous Gasha container for this game, as opposed the mindnumbing hours it took in Seasons. I think I'll take this as confirmation that the whole shebang's completely randomized and throw a big old fuck you at Capcom for making it that way.



I drop by Vasu's at this point for one last appraisal, selling the First Gen Ring for cash and swapping in the Light Ring L-2 and Protection Ring in place of it. Odds are we won't need them in place of the Blue Ring but what the hell, might as well bring them along just-in-case.

Well, I think that's everything. Onwards, to the final battle.



God, get out of my way, you numbskulls.



That if I killed her, Ralph will finally shut up? Good to know! I'll keep that in mind while I cut her in two so stop dragging out this game already for God's sake.



Seriously, this game is way too damn chatty for it's own good.



The tower is, as you can image, just a straight brawl all the way to the top. However, with our entire arsenal at our command we can pretty much slaughter everything in this place without breaking a sweat.



Bring it on, Veran!

Shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP!



I HATE YOU SO MUCH



Part one of the turret is basically just a staircase maze, like the one we went through in the Explorer's Crypt in Seasons. It's also crawling with Wizrobes, but they're not much of a big deal.



The next part is trickier, with four flames gliding across the floor directing us to specific staircases. The one behind us is the one to follow though and it brings us to our final destination.



Of course, there's no sense in not healing up before heading to the top so smash the pots away and grab whatever's inside.



At the top we see Veran-Ambi taunting and dismissing Ralph before heading up north. Y'know, is it too late to switch sides here?



Huh, Ralph's gutsier than he looks. I don't even know who to root for any more.



Of course, guts doesn't stop Ralph from getting his ass handed to him.

Same old, same old. Look, let's just get this over with already, shall we?



The fight with Veran is a repeat of the last one two dungeons ago, though taking slightly longer thanks to Veran's increased vitality. Nail her with a Mystery Seed to detatch her from Ambi, grapple onto her with the Long Switch and then slash at her with the Noble Sword to deal damage, then repeat as necessary until she's dead.



They say this every time... man, you'd think they'd have caught on by now that Link's the real deal.



With Veran gone, Ambi finally comes to her senses and, seeing where she is, heads off back down the tower.



Veran's still up to her old tricks though. You didn't think it'd be over that easily, did you?



At this point, Veran reverts to her, uh, True Form the same way Onox did. Whatever she is now, she's still going down.

Veran summons up a group of Dark Links to get in our way in this fight, but they're laughably weak compared to the original and go down quickly. There's honestly not much else to say beyond that; all Veran really does is flutter around the room and spit stuff at you, so just slash at her when she passes by and you'll win. It's kinda disappointing compared to the nailbiter that was Onox's fight, to be honest.



Maybe you should look into a new line of work when you move into your new home in hell.



And here comes the peanut gallery. Congratulations, evil is gone, yadda yadda yadda, can we go now?



Okay, now even I'm getting sick of this. Two fights was more than enough!



Hey, can I ask you a question, Veran? Why won't you just die already and save us the trouble?

Veran's final form is the toughest of the bunch, and at a level of difficulty up to par with Onox's. She switches between three forms for the entirety of the fight, each with a different attack and weaknesses that we'll have to scout and figure out how to take advantage of them.

Her first form, the tortoise, is simple enough as she just hops around in a homing pattern for Link, creating little toxic splashes whenever she lands. Her head will pop up from time to time after a few rounds and you can damage her during that opening. Her spider form is a little more annoying, as she can latch onto Link and attack him repeatedly with her webbing. You can force an opening with bombs though, stunning her with the blast before stabbing her in the face. Her last form, the bee, can be hit at any time with sword and is probably her easiest, but at the same time she can launch stingers and smaller bees at you from a longer range so don't get too cocky. The battle drags on for a while thanks to her stamina, but you should be able to prevail if you've got a lot of health on hand.



Good riddance to bad mojo. Now let's get out of this dump and head home.



Dynamic entry! I wonder where Ambi went?



Oh dear, it seems she's assembled an armed guard for us. Whatever, Link can take them on.



Oh well then, nevermind. She was just trying to help! Which is more than could be said for a certain other monarch at least.



With Veran (finally) dead, the various distortions revert and everything goes back to normal. Hooray!

Ralph is ready to sing us praises for our hard work as soon as everything gets sorted out. Welp, it was fun, but I guess it's time to-



FFFFFFFFFFFFFF-



Yeah, almost forgot about those tools, didn't I? God damn it.



Well I guess it couldn't have gone down that easily; It looks like we've got one last battle to fight before this game will let us go. Ugh, how annoying.



Hey wait, where's Farore? Why's she getting the short end of the stick in this Oracle business? Man, this whole thing sucks from beginning to end.

Din and Nayru warp us right to Ganon's lair, but...



...we've still got a few things to do before we wrap this up. Remember, there are still some secrets left to be found in these games.

Next time: The Hero's Cave and the Oracle of Secrets!

Oh boy Ganon in a Zelda game hot DAMN.

Whoops, you're right. My mistake. The point still stands, though; based on how obtuse it is, that's probably the worst puzzle in the whole game.