What in Blazes!? It's Wild Arms 2!

it pays the bills (i think)

The answer appears to be that this gang has possibly the lowest collective self esteem on the planet. ... I'm not even kidding.

EVIL BOSS SIMULATOR 1998!

Previously on Wild Arms 2: Ashley was sent to prison by a militant jackass for a crime he didn't commit. Ashley, Lilka, and Brad promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to Valeria Chateau. Today, everyone forgot about that whole criminal thing, and they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem... if no one else can help... and if you can find them... maybe you can hire... The ARMS-Team.



This unnamed fellow hangs out outside the boss’s room, and he’ll always remind you of your next objective… because he listens through the door during all briefings. Time to head off to Under Traffic and get away from this weirdo!



We’re on our way! There isn’t much (anything) to do at the chateau right now, and Wild Arms 2 is absolutely not a JRPG released in the age of “hunts” or “optional content”. Actually, there will be a few optional dungeons, but they’re not open right now. The opening of this game is just some hardcore walking from point a to point b.



Incidentally, the local monsters are still scaled to “the party is only Ashley”, so… well… don’t expect much EXP from a pair of slimes.



Under Traffic is south of the chateau, just as we were told.



I’m going to claim that this is the first “landmark” that is at all difficult to find. It’s fairly obvious that you’re looking for something in the nearby rocky area, but the actual entrance is kind of small and nondescript. Can’t all the locations be the only thing on a giant cliff?



Depending on how you count Ashley’s opening ruins, this might be our first cave. This is a JRPG, so it won’t be our last.



So the excuse for this dungeon is that there was a cave-in, so the “puzzles” all involve blasting rocks out of the way. See that box sporting the Jolly Roger? There was apparently a massive shipment of Grandma’s Boxed Explosives going through Under Traffic, and that’s coincidentally going to help us out.



The boxes may be kicked by Brad’s kickin’ boots…



And detonated with Lilka’s fire magic. Blast a box by a boulder, and we’ve got a boulder no more.



Naturally, there are also monsters in this cave. Some Wild Arms 2 “puzzle areas” are monster-free, but this ain’t one of ‘em.



The opening passages are pretty much “kick box, blow up box”. Nothing complicated.



But then we get some legitimate puzzles. Blow up the boxes in the proper places in the proper order to proceed.



It is very easy to accidentally use all of your big bang boxes before clearing the necessary blockages. Wild Arms 1 provided a tool that would reset any and all puzzles, but Wild Arms 2 dropped that ability for the comparatively clunky “have to exit and reenter the room” alternative. Odd choice.



The only disadvantage to the extra walking is having to fight random dryads, though. Remember to kill your veggies, kids!



For anyone that is foolishly using this LP as a FAQ, here’s a segment of what you’re supposed to do for this room. Also, if this puzzle stumped you, just go ahead and quit now. It’s for the best. I won’t judge.



Even doing everything right, there’s another boulder blocking the way forward. Guess we’ll see if entering this door does us any good.



Here’s a neat mechanic that you’d think we’d see more often. Up to this point, we’ve been using Brad’s kick to move objects forward, but this room is all about “kicking off” the sides, and riding small rafts around this watery area. Old dog is learning new tricks!



Two possible rafts forward. The left side is the proper choice, as it leads to…



Multiblast! … What’s a Multiblast?



Oh, right. Technically, Ashley only ever has his Bayonet Arm, but he can acquire new “ammo” that effectively works like a different weapon. Each ammo can be separately upgraded, has its own ammo count, and has different properties and features. Multiblast isn’t that strong, but, as the name implies, it hits multiple opponents. Also, it’s an Arm, so it’s likely to miss multiple opponents.

Also, for whatever reason, all of Ashley’s different ammos must be used from the item screen before they become an option during combat. Brad doesn’t have the same problem. It’s weird.



And that’s it for the raft room. Good-bye forever, fascinating mechanic!



Now we can blast that rock from behind to complete the path. We never have to enter that raft room ever again! … Not that we’ll ever have to revisit this dungeon for any reason anyway…



Sometimes the graphics of these dungeons give away secrets. I want to say that that “rock wall” to the right is supposed to be a “hidden”, but, assuming your camera is oriented… in pretty much any way, you’ll notice the strangely out of bounds series of boulders. Probably a good idea to blast those.



I could push this Explode-O-Box to the nearby rocks, but…



Yep, secret passage back here.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Hiding in this nook is a crest graph and a moonstone. Moonstones protect against poison and evolve clefairy into clefable. This is convenient, as Dryads are fond of poison attacks, and Clefable is decent in the NU tier.



And now the box has respawned, so it’s time to move forward.



The next passage is pretty similar, but we have an all new choice. We can either use the boxes to detonate the rocks, or stick ‘em together to create a makeshift bridge.



Detonation is the proper first solution here, as it leads to the crucial Map Scope. Despite what you see in my cheating screenshots, Wild Arms 2 does not provide a map by default, and you have to first discover the Map Scope before you get any sort of onscreen direction for the overworld. This is particularly egregious in a game that relies on “finding” landmarks, but I suppose there are people out there that don’t need an onscreen map at all times. I’m not one of those people. I recently got lost in the supermarket, and now I can no longer shop happily without a GPS.



Now let’s reset the room by abusing a nearby door, and make the bridge. Incidentally, if you make the bridge first, you’ll inevitably notice the treasure chest on the floor, and likely return for your booty. I mean, unless you ignore treasure chests like some kind of monster.



Save point! I bet a boss is coming up!



Or just a passed out dude. Uh… that’s okay, too.



“Brad! Try kicking him!”



You know, with all the explosions… that we caused… it’s a wonder only one dork got hurt here.



“I really don’t want to have to walk back through this dungeon.”



Don’t worry, he didn’t turn into a monster or something, there’s an audio cue here that is impossible to replicate in mute LP form.



Our hero was just surprised and scared by his ringtone.



The game actually drops the cutscene so you, player, have to answer the phone yourself.



Let’s open up the ol’ menu here…



“How did you get this number?”



“Lilka tried to cast a healing spell… so he’s on fire right now… But I think we’re handling it.”



Last update, Irving gave Ashley this “psi communicator” as an apology for the whole “sent to jail” thing. Now it’s revealed that, incidentally, the communicator has a built in global tracking feature. So Irving knows where the party is at all times. Ya know, just a standard feature.



Irving is so nice! He directs our party to the nearest town… which is like five feet away… and we probably would have found it anyway… But still!



So Ashley gets stuck with lugging Guy around. Brad would carry him, but, ya know, bomb in the neck, really don’t want this dude accidentally bumping into that. Also, Brad would love to help you move next weekend, but, again, bomb in the neck.



Ah, fresh air. For a normal playthrough, this would be the first you get to see the map scope in action. You can also bring up the full, large map, but you can’t overlay that map atop the gameplay. You need an upgrade for that. Considering that’s just a slightly convenient way to navigate, it’s a weird thing to stick in a plot gateway.



True to Irving’s word, Damzen is just a little southeast of the Under Traffic exit. You don’t have to carry Guy very far.



Huh. These map miniatures are very close to the actual layout of the “real” town. This is what Damzen would look like to Godzilla. Side note: I want to play a JRPG where the protagonist is Godzilla.



I like Damzen. It winds up being involved in the plot at a couple of points during Wild Arms 2 (unlike many towns that are one-and-done affairs), and it’s one of the few locations in this Filgaia that leans into the whole “Western” theme. This is a small, poor mining town featuring a saloon and dudes in cowboy hats. I approve.



Oh, right, have to deliver an unconscious dude. Right.



Note that the signs in this town are in English. I think that’s standard across regions, as there will be some not-English in some “foreign” towns. “Filgaia” seems to be an English-first planet.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“Uh, yeah, found this dude and… wait, which one us was carrying… Dammit! We’ll be right back.”



Aaaaand it turns out the dude passed out because of a broken finger. We spent most of this update losing HP to sentient plants, and this guy drops from one measly finger injury.



“Devoured by Gobs. That mine was crawling with monsters, ya know.”



Gasp! The cave-in was sabotage! Or something! There’s probably a word for deliberately and maliciously causing a cave-in. Mineocide?



“Even though it didn’t! Unless we’re talking about the other side of the mine…. Where we opened the entrance after a whole ten seconds…”



“Shenanigans afoot! Tell an adult!”



“New phone, who dis?”



Did… did we just tap into a party line?



For anyone that’s curious…



Kate and Amy were the two strange women hanging out in the forbidden area of Valeria Chateau. Here they are from a previous update, because no one has a photographic memory of Wild Arms 2.



Side note: This nickname will never be mentioned again.



And here’s how our little combination phone/tracking device works. It’s powered by empathite, and telepaths are able to relay signals over said empathite. There will be a quiz on this later.

Incidentally, it’s implied by some auxiliary data in Wild Arms 2 that Kate and Amy are twins, and telepathic abilities are predominantly found in twins. This doesn’t have much of an impact on anything, but I always thought that it was a cute evolution of the “real world” myth of telepathic twins.



Anyway, our new mission is to find out whoever was responsible for the cave-in.



Wait, does this mean our second mission is complete? I think it does!

ARMS Mission #2:
Reopen the trade route of Under Pass after a mysterious cave-in
Status: Success!
Notes: Probably caused about six new cave-ins thanks to continuous explosions. Entire mine now filled with methane.



“Dude, there are like twelve people in this town, total. I’m assuming half this town is related to you. No, I’m not calling you a redneck, I’m just saying that with population density and…”



Okay, here’s someone suspicious. Hey, weren’t you the “girl (?)” from the start of Update #4? Guess we’ve nailed down a gender in the meanwhile.



Yes, definitely the woman gazing at the comet.



She recognizes Ashley… and Ashley is confused.



Interestingly, Mystery here has different reactions to each party member. She knows Ashley, but Brad is referred to only as “backup”.



And she offers a makeover to Lilka. Man, I want to see that montage.



Anyway, let’s get out of the shade and into someone’s house. Hey, this sounds promising. Towers are perfect for dungeons!



So this family is supposed to be responsible for a spot called Telepath Tower, and some dudes broke in, and I guess the family knows this because they have a closed circuit security system that beams directly into their collective brains. Or however people in JRPGs know things.



So it’s time to update Irving on the situation, because it’s been a whole two minutes since we checked in.



“I thought you said these communicators worked because of your two magical receptionists?”
“Look, technology is complicated. Shut-up and secure the tower.”



So our goal is to head to Telepath Tower, but we may as well check out the rest of town first. I lied in an earlier update, as Damzen (and all future towns) has separate weapon/armor and item shops. Well, they’re in the same building, but you have to walk all the way over from one counter to the other. Anyway, new equipment available, if that’s your thing. This would be the first upgrade shop available after Hometown.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Media Vision, the folks behind the Wild Arms franchise, also released a Contra-esque game called Rapid Reload. In Japan, it was known as… Eh, the name escapes me at the moment. Don’t know why it just popped into my head.



This NPC and her dialogue will be important in another hundred billion hours or so. Please remember that.



The bartender claims he’s got some information, but only if you grease the ol’ gears, if you know what I mean. And Ashley probably doesn’t, because he’s underage.



But Brad doesn’t get carded anywhere (which is good, because he lost his ID like five years ago).



Screw Telepath Tower, I want to see a strange building!



I also completely lied about there being no optional areas during this update. I’m walking things back as fast as I say them!



Here comes the strange!



Or Odd. That’s good, too.



Yep, definitely Odd.



Oh, this is promising.



That “Mascot Doll” appears to be some manner of mechanized McGruff the Crime Dog. You can blast it with various tools (like Lilka’s fire), and it will have different reactions. Of course, I only really have one tool that works like that right now… so not going to bother.



But here’s the real reason to visit here: the Wild Arms 2 Bestiary. As you battle every monster in the game, the “Kaiju Cards” populate, and you can read up on the weaknesses and drops of every monster in Filgaia.



You don’t have to “scan” or do anything in particular during a battle to fill in these pages. Note that all monsters are listed alphabetically, which was probably an enormous pain in the ass to code for different regions.



Also, all of the monsters have accompanying art that is slightly more interesting than a mere polygonal model. Final Fantasy 12 evidently took notes here.



Of course, all bosses up to this point have been logged.



Ah, the majestic Olivier in its natural habitat.

At this point in the game, you may only check the bestiary while at Odd HQ, but eventually you’ll earn an item that allows you to view those cards from the main menu (and, since I’m cheating, I already have that item, natch). Unfortunately, even once it’s part of the menu, you can’t check the cards until after a battle, so it’s not very useful for one-time boss battles. Though I suppose it would be useful if you were writing a FAQ or Let’s Play.



Additionally, you can go downstairs, and get blocked by a strange object, or change the name of any party member. We’ll cover that all later, when we can actually make some progress down there.



Back to wandering around the world map, we found…



Not Telepath Tower. Treasures may be found on the overworld, and they’re generally of the “rare” variety. It’s normal to find items like Plus Stat Apples, Bullet Loads, and Lucky Cards. We’ll cover the particulars of Lucky Cards during our next boss battle.



Now here’s where we want to be.



Welcome to Telepath Tower… where we’re going to break for today. The next “event” really deserves its own update, and it’s tied to this dungeon, so… please look forward to it?



Oh, but first, let’s compare Ashley’s normal bayonet attack...



To the new Multiblast. See? Slightly different.



And I never really got a chance to note Lilka’s Mystic ability. Right from the start, Lilka has the ability to expend 25 FP to “mystic”, which spreads an item’s use across the party. As she started alone, this was completely useless in Lilka’s opening dungeon, but it can be a major boon now that we’ve got a full gang. Everybody poisoned? Mystic an antidote. Need to restore health? Mystic a heal berry (which, incidentally, doesn’t lose any potency when “spread”). You can even mystic a mini carrot to grant 25 FP to your teammates and immediately restore Lilka’s expended FP. This is a great ability, and only really has the drawback of being tied to Lilka, who has about as much HP as a hedgehog. Oh well, can’t have everything.

Next time on Wild Arms 2: The revolution will be televised.

The G could stand for Godzilla!

Yes. If a JRPG (game, not Godzilla) has a tower and it isn't a dungeon then something is wrong with that game.

So doesn't this mean you are basically just trying to fix the fantasy western version of a cel phone tower?

Previously on Wild Arms 2: ARMS averted a cave-in! Or… they at least cleaned up after one. What’s important is that ARMS accomplished something. That might not happen again for a while.



Oh, we also got a hot tip about some mysterious gang approaching Telepath Tower, so let’s dive on in.



Well this is certainly odd: a trio of glowing cubes are hanging around the entrance.



And, not coincidentally, there are a few chuckable boxes lying around, too.



But all doors leading forward are locked. Can yoooou solve the mystery?



Eh, no time for that now, we’ve got to fight random battles with Rat Monkeys and Cenobites.



Good to see the family that runs Telepath Tower finally solved that puzzle box.



Back to “exploring”: the first thing you have to do in this area is chuck any and all boxes at these glowing cubes.



Unless you’ve really been paying attention to the throwing mechanics, you’ll probably whiff on a few of those tosses, as the “throw” move has a very specific, rigid arc. I think there are four boxes and three cubes in this room, and, if you run out of boxes, you have to exit the whole tower to “reset” the boxes. Good news: the cubes don’t reset. Bad news: this is still very clumsy for a series that previously had a “reset puzzle” tool.



Three cubes nailed, and the door opens wide. Note that the other door to its right is still locked.



Another in a series of random encounters. Wild Arms 2 very rarely has a monster that simply attacks, and you usually see either the name of the move used (like Water Catastrophe) or something that the monster is apparently saying (like “I hate you!”). Rat Monkey, what did I ever do to you? I haven’t killed you quite yet.

On a vaguely unrelated note, when the team earns the steal command, it’s useful to come back here and steal Small Flowers from Rat Monkeys. That item will always increase your luck, and it can’t be easily found elsewhere.



Enough about fights, time to ascend the tower.



According to the lore, all Telepath Tower has to “do” is be tall, and contain empathite. But I guess this place was decorated by Metal Man, because there are gears all over the place.



“We decided to throw some science-y stuff around to keep the nerds happy.”



Hm, end of the second floor, and there’s another sealed door to accompany our opened door.



The third floor features a switch just out of reach, and an open bridge above it. Normally I complain about villains “easily” making it through dungeons while you have to solve a puzzle every three feet, but in this case, you could probably claim that the “mysterious strangers” ahead of us deliberately activated every impediment to slow our ascent.



So we have to climb another set of stairs, approach the open bridge…



And hop down to the switch.



This closes the bridge… and then we have to climb the same stupid stairs again to reach the bridge. Who doesn’t love a JRPG that deliberately wastes their time?



Now that we can proceed, we see a treasure chest that is out of reach. That area seems to lead to another sealed door, so it seems we’ll be making a return trip.



I don’t think I’ve mentioned it distinctly yet, but Wild Arms 2 has some pretty wild monster designs. How would you concisely describe this enemy? Springy angry clown balloon?



Fourth floor!



Save point! Wild Arms 2 is pretty generous with saving for an “old school” JRPG.



Impromptu library! Hard to say if this is a JRPG cell tower, or a JRPG television broadcast tower. Though I suppose it could be both. Does Filgaia have any decent sitcoms?



It might be the wonky translation, but this seems to imply that Telepath Tower originally used a human being as a telepathic conduit, used him up until his death, and then replaced the poor guy with a rock. I believe Twitter moderators follow the same trajectory. Ha ha, just kidding, there are no mods on Twitter.



There’s a switch over in the corner. Wonder if I just activated some more gears.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And we can’t progress anymore on this floor, because there’s a huge hole in the ground. A shame, too, because there are a bunch of treasure chests just out of reach.



But the previously sealed door is now open. Way to go, switch!



It’s an elevator! This dungeon isn’t that long, but if you want to head back to the first floor, leave, and gather some supplies, you’re welcome to it.



For now, though, we’re hitting Floor 3, so we can reach the previously unreachable treasure chest.



Sir Mix-a-Lot is pleased.



Mmm, damn right it is. Just a little something-something.



Oh, wait, it’s just our only optional main character tool.



Booty Call is here for all your completionist needs. Using the Booty Call will search for treasure on the current “screen” (whatever area is between you and the next fade-to-black transition, so it could work on a small room or an entire town). If it finds something, you’ll hear a beep. If it finds something you can actually see, it will cause the treasure to flash green along with said beep. Usually it tells you exactly what you know (“Do you think that treasure chest might contain… treasure?”), but it is useful if you’re looting a town and not already doing the Dragon Quest thing of smacking the search button next to every barrel. Very useful if you absolutely have to know you’ve found everything in an area. Note that it will not find secret passages that may be necessary for finding further treasure.



Here’s an example of a very obvious treasure chest being booty called, just for obviousness’s sake.



Floor 4 had that impassible hole, so let’s scoot on up to Floor 5, the final floor that is Irving-accessible.



Looks like we’re beyond the hole.



And we can go back and check… and nab all that treasure. Note that the ReviveFruit is the Phoenix Down of this adventure, and it cannot be purchased at your local item shop. Think twice before reviving a teammate.



There may be some subtle storytelling going on here. Damzen looks pretty Wild West-y, which implies drought, which implies that Telepath Tower was deliberately built in a hurricane-free zone. … Or it’s just a happy coincidence of fictional geography.



In case you were wondering what empathite actually looked like, here you go.



Oh boy! Puzzle room! And there aren’t any random encounters in here, either.



This is one of those deals. Pull a switch, some walls go down, some come up, blah blah blah. There are multiple little quadrants, and I totally didn’t solve this puzzle by randomly pulling switches until something finally opened up that allowed me to proceed.



The far left side has a switch that completely disables the puzzle, and a special treasure chest that can only be opened by Brad’s kick boots. It contains a new Arm for Brad.



The easiest way to get over there is to cheat. Once you reach the exit, leave, return to the room, and then the puzzle will have reset. Pull a few switches from the “winning” side, and you’ll have Brad’s new pineapple in no time.



Here’s an example of Brad using the ultimate pizza topping to completely whiff on some dryads. This Arm, like Ashley’s new MultiBlast, is basically just there so Brad has a multi-target Arm attack.



Moving on.



Moooooving on.



Here we are, tippy top of Telepath Tower.



The party separates to make sure everything is in working condition.



Hurr gee, ya think?



Guess the bad guys put a signal booster on the biggest (maybe only) broadcast tower in Filgaia. What could they be up to?

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Oh, we’re about to find out.



… Should we be letting this happen?



Well, Lilka is down for a show.



Okay, this bit is a tad lengthy, so I’m just going to reproduce it all at once to start:

For All of Filgaia

First, greetings to all corrupt officials who have inherited power with no qualifications. And all the ignorant fools who have qualms about leading degenerate lives. I am the Reform Party "Odessa" leader Vinsfeld Rhadamanthus. It's a name worth remembering!

Let me state this at the start. Among those listening now, are traitors. And that is "you!” If you've not averted your eyes, you'll have noticed the ground is full of monsters. They are impure creatures yet, no one tries to remove them. No one tries to bring peace. Why? Because people are cowardly animals. As one who grieves the fate of Filgaia, I say this is because of the traitors! We've handed the land over to the monsters. How can that be allowed to happen?

My harsh comments here should be understandable! We of Odessa swear an oath. A powerful National System will be built by eliminating foolish national boundaries! We are fundamentally different from statesmen who only bark like dogs at banquets! We'll start with those three countries. First we'll hammer Meria Boule, Sylvaland and Guild Galad and take control. Once judgment is passed your relatives' blood will spill and you'll hear their cries.

But who can intelligently refute my resolutions? This is a rite of passage to make the future ours. It is a "burial". Yes. It is a "burial" for a new "creation!" For the new era, judgement will be passed on the system which carries on the old ways.

To all who sympathize with Odessa's ideals come join Vinsfeld. The blood we spill together will purify
the tainted earth and form the bonds of tomorrow's Filgaia. There are those who criticize Odessa's acts as extreme. They spout malicious gossips. We are prepared to stop it all. This is because we operate under the right principles! The governing nation of "Odessa" will rise up from the rubble of ashes and dust.

Welcoming the leader who promises the next era...is an honor and blessing bestowed upon you.



TLDR: Vinsfeld Rhadamanthus is the leader of Odessa.



Vinsfeld thinks you are all sheep. He is broadcasting this across the whole world, so please baaaah along.



Wait, not sheep, you’re all traitors. Make Filgaia great again.



Vinsfeld and Odessa are going to conquer the planet, because you government is fat and stupid and he hates it.



Incidentally, Vinny is broadcasting this message on every reflective surface on the planet. Right now, there’s an old man sitting on a talking toilet.



Anyway, join or die. #odessa #vinsfeld4king #justtrying2mfga



Don't believe fake news.



“Don’t you want to be on the winning side? And I have a cool cape.”



Vinsfeld Rhadamanthus just introduced himself, so let’s give him a formal rundown. What we have here is our first official villain of Wild Arms 2, and, per JRPG tradition, he’s going to be one step ahead of our heroes at every turn until the very moment ARMS drives a sword into his face. Of course, as the first clear and present villain in a JRPG, he’s inevitably not going to live to see the final dungeon, but that won’t stop him from being a cool, charismatic villain.

Honestly, Vinsfeld and the Odessa terrorist organization are a big part of why I’m doing this Let’s Play at all, so know that I’m not at all impartial when I say that, for being a 32-bit JRPG villain, Vinsfeld is a surprisingly nuanced dude. What we have here is someone that wants to rule the world, yes, but has more than a few ideals and ideas that actually mesh with the reality of conquering the planet (which, let’s be honest, would be a logistical nightmare). In other words, he manages to come off as an actually human super villain, which is a big contrast from the usual JRPG murder clowns and genocidal nihilists.

I mean, did Golbez ever think to broadcast his plan to the world to maybe scrounge up a few extra recruits? I don’t think so.



So, anyway, point of this whole bit is that Vinsfeld and Odessa are the bad guys, and they want to take over the world.



And they’re doing it with style.



Behind ya.



Apparently Vinsfeld left a little present behind to make sure someone else couldn’t offer a Telepath Tower global rebuttal.



Boss time! How am I supposed to pronounce… Eh, I’m just glad this is only a written LP.



Uh… what the hell am I looking at here?



It’s… like… some kind of… rainbow ghost? With elongated limbs? Nope, no idea what they’re going for.



No, I do not want to see a HD redesign of this thing. Are those supposed to be eye-mouths?



Vagesta’s big thing is that he’s fast, and will usually go first in a round. This pairs poorly (for you) with his other big ability: distortion. Distortion causes everything -even moves with 100% accuracy- to miss. The lesson here is to never rely on some “big” attack to hit (like an Arm), and just use normal attacks if you want to keep your blood pressure down. If you use a strong attack, I can pretty much guarantee Vagesta will “randomly” use distortion, and you’ll have wasted your bullets.



Oh, remember when I said the analyze skill sucked? Here’s a fine example of why. Real helpful.



But I also said I’d explain the Lucky Card item during the next boss battle, and here we are. The Lucky Card is an item that impacts all party members, and, at the end of the battle, any surviving combatants will receive double EXP and cash. These items are limited, and, unless you run into a metal slime-type enemy, it’s best to save all Lucky Cards for boss battles. This is a great way to quickly gain levels, and is probably integral in some speed run strategies that would make my head hurt.



Back to the battle, Vagesta is also one of the few bosses that uses healing techniques. It’s easy to outpace his healing, so it’s not a big deal, just kind of annoying. In fact, aside from possibly cursing your party with disease (a status effect that temporarily disables your own healing), Vagesta is a pretty easy boss, and is generally best described as a waste of time.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

There, one less Vagesta in the world.



“Your tower got used by some bad guys.”
“Duh.”



We’re automatically teleported out of the tower, so we don’t have to hit that elevator again. Still have to walk back to Damzen like a sucker, though.



While I’m fighting the number one reason to never live in Filgaia, let’s take a moment to note…

ARMS Mission #3:
Protect Telepath Tower from “dangerous people”
Status: Success!… kinda
Notes: Telepath Tower is technically still in good functioning order, so our cell phones still work. Unfortunately, the dangerous people broadcast their terrorist agenda to the entire world… so that could have gone better.



So, yeah, back in town, even the family that (ineffectively) maintains Telepath Tower is like, “Dude, you have bigger things to deal with.”



Old man likes his Booty Call. Now that we’re back in town, be sure to use that new tool to fish various random items out of barrels all over the place.



Don’t talk to strangers, Ashley!



Mystery entices the gang with “you want to progress the plot or not?”



“We’ve got to go… do… uh… What was our plan?”



So… that’s a cancellation on the makeover?



It’s a good thing there’s an obvious cliff side just to the east, otherwise “east from here” is a pretty imprecise bit of direction.



Brad? Do you have a secret jet you want to tell us about?



Let’s be suspicious of this suspicious woman.



Excellent rebuttal!



… What? You worried about skin cancer or something?



Oh, that is her face. And name. Hm, to give you the usual “here’s a picture” treatment would constitute a bit of a spoiler, so be content with this name entry screen. Red eyes… pale… pointy ears. Can you guess Marivel’s secret identity? That’s right, she’s an elf! … Wait, that’s probably not right.

Marivel Armitage, for most of the game, will be our resident crackpot genius character. If this were Final Fantasy, she’d be Cid(ney). Late in the game, we’ll get her backstory, and there’s a lot more to her than being the whacky girl genius archetype, but that is a long way away at this point. For now, she’s just our resident smarty, and she’ll be sending us off on fetch quests to find magical rocks and circuit boards and all manner of random science crap soon enough.

Also, Marivel apparently wound up making a good impression on the Wild Arms staff, as she pops up again in Wild Arms 3 and Wild Arms 5. Good for her.

Oh, and while it’s hard to see in that little profile picture, she wears goggles as a headband below her hat. This is the true sign of a genius.



But that doesn’t explain how she knows Ashley.



I want to make this clear: Ashley doesn’t have amnesia. In fact, none of the main characters in Wild Arms 2 have amnesia. This is huge for a JRPG, and should be commended. Anyway, we’ll eventually learn that time travel hijinx are involved, so please look forward to that.



And then Marivel teleports away. This isn’t that amazing, as you may recall that silly ol’ Lilka teleported like sixteen times in her intro chapter alone.



“Good news, my world wide web of informants and secret cameras have pinpointed…”



“Oh. Uh… Guess you heard.”



Ah yes. I’m sure we’ll stop this terrorist organization in the very next dungeon. New mission start!



Irving is currently remotely promoting Ashley out of spite. Peter principle the poor kid, that’ll learn ‘em to take advice from strange women in hats.



Ashley is excited to be the boss. Up to this point, he was taking orders from Brad, who earned that position by being the tallest.



Eastward, ho!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Go about as east as it gets, and you’ll find a cave.



This is an adorable name!



Mt. Chug-Chug opens with this mysterious floating pyramid thing. There’s apparently a monster in there… but we won’t be able to fight it until pretty much the absolute end of the game. These pyramids will appear in a few random spots, and they’re all optional super bosses. Please write down this pyramid’s location in your official Wild Arms 2 Notebook, and do your best to return in twenty or so hours when this is relevant again.



And there’s a sealed door to the right. This “puzzle” is much more transparent. Come back with the Boss Symbol when you need to go to Sielje. That will happen much sooner than any pyramid fights, too.



For now, we head left, and explore the part of the dungeon that isn’t currently locked tight.



But… we don’t get very far. No way over that chasm.



And above it is another path… that also goes nowhere. Argh.



There are some demon jerk monsters in this cave. Their big thing is stealing…



And then running the heck away. Since healing items are fairly limited in this game, these stupid things can be a major pain the butt. Always kill monsters quickly, boys and girls.



Mt. Chug-Chug is another dungeon with twisty, samey rooms. But, again, the gems around the area may be used as metaphorical bread crumbs, and, if you’re in a room where there are no gems, you’ve likely already been there. Personally, I like to randomly gather gems in unusual patterns so I know for sure where I’ve been.

Mind you, this wouldn’t even be a factor if this game had a damn minimap…



Is that a minecart?



Damn right it is! Give that sucker a kick!



It’s on like Donkey Kong!



And… impasse.



Oh, wait, simple solution.



Not enough JRPG heroes acknowledge that they’re constantly exploring around precious, beautiful crystals. I have never understood the common Final Fantasy protagonist that doesn’t start chipping away at the nearest crystal cave for rad jewelry.



So Ashley fixes the machine by removing the pretty crystal, and nabs a sweet gift for his not-girlfriend. Score!



Now we’ve got a working switch. I guess the theme of this update is “turning on elevators”.



It’s all coming full circle.



Now some lifts around the mine are operating, so we can access the higher levels.



Nothing to see here.



Just a weaponized Mr. Potato Head.



The trick to the upper decks is to find the right hole to fall back down.



Here we are. Landed on that slightly elevated bit of ground, so now we can move on.



Save point! Boss incoming!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

After quite a bit of walking…



Here we are. Hey, didn’t we see this guy back at the prison?



“Be careful, giant dude. You could poke an eye out!”



Literal kind of fellow…



“Only a terrorist would know about danger without being warned!”



“The ‘thread’ told Antenora. She said someone's been following us.”

Antenora is another member of Odessa. “The thread” here is likely some weirdly translated attempt to make Antenora sound informed.



Yeah, your name still isn’t appearing in your dialogue box.



Introducing yourself with a boss intro? Bad. Ass.



Ptolomea is one of the four special generals of Odessa. He’s the goofy and strong one. Were this another universe, he would totally pilot Yellow Lion.



Also, his weapon is some kind of spinny helicopter blade thing.



It normally just looks like a giant claw, but for attacks…



It looks painful.



This is likely the hardest boss fight up to this point in the game. Ptolomea hits hard, randomly uses a powerful attack that damages all party members, and often counters your own physical attacks. He’s by no means impossible, but this is probably the first battle where you’d have to choose between using Lilka’s heal spell on one character (probably Lilka) or mystic-ing a heal berry to heal everyone simultaneously (but at the cost of more FP).



But the giant falls soon enough. Actually, upon winning, Ptolomea won’t even give you the satisfaction of indicating any sort of damage, and the normal “victory theme” is replaced with something more somber. Wild Arms 2 doesn’t seem all that celebratory any time you beat an actual human.



This will turn out to be a complete lie.



Ptolomea apparently retreats to join his buddies. Remember how the Telepath Tower Family described four suspicious people entering the tower? Guess who we just found.



Coming this Fall to PBS.



Or… that’s not really their name.



This is Glasses talking. I guess the Fun Friends saw ARMS during the jailbreak, even if there was literally no point in that scenario where everybody was near the same room.



Four against three does not sound like good odds for our fledgling gang that could barely deal with one of these dudes.



And the girl is the conscience of the group. And maybe the leader? Nobody dies, so they do seem to listen to her.



So Odessa has a lot of name origins, but, considering we’re dealing with a terrorist organization, it’s probably referring to the original Greek meaning of “filled with wrath” (which supposedly describes a certain dude who spent a good long time sailing around the world and occasionally calling himself “nobody”). However, given the context, it could also refer to the (probably fictional) secret Nazi plan to see that Hitler and other high ranking terrible people successfully fled to Argentina. Either one works for a group of terrorists.



But Cocytus seems to further support the Grecian interpretation, as Cocytus is a pretty clearly defined river outside Hades. It’s probably not a coincidence that Homer wrote about Odysseus and the Cocytus River. Then again, it could also refer to Cocytus from Dante’s Inferno, which is described as the circle of Hell where noted traitors Caina, Antenora, Ptolomea, and Judecca hang out.

… Oh, wait, it’s probably that.

Incidentally, the “fifth man” in that little gang is Satan. That probably doesn’t mean anything good for Vinsfeld.



Maybe the terrorists are just polite enough to listen?



“Ashley, hey, long time no see. Been taking a bit of a nap here, but, ya know, if you want to kill everyone, you may as well start now. No? Okay, well, ya know, just a little reminder for you to kill ‘em all.”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

But Ashley fails to reach out and murder anybody, so Cocytus hops in their sweet ride and gets the heck out of dodge.



ARMS Mission #4:
Stop the terrorists’ escape
Status: Failure
Notes: They were right there… and we just kinda let ‘em leave. Sure, ARMS was outnumbered and outgunned, but nobody ever said being a hero was easy.



And we close with Ashley contemplating that voice in his head. Ashley, you have to get your multiple personalities under control! Hopefully before the next update!

Next time on Wild Arms 2: ARMS and ARMS Jr.

RE: Tower Book; I believe you're supposed to interpret that as there was a network of telepathy mages running the network until the Empathite towers started to be built (sort of like like telegram/phone networks developed, I'd guess) and the people-network got phased out as tech advanced.

Gull-Wing type aircraft are a reference back to WA 1 (have we seen the EMMA motor cameo yet?); the airplane the crew gets for world map traversal there is called the Gull Wing.

I cannot believe that this game has an item named Booty Call. That's just amazing.

I think I know a certain dictator that is reading the LP!

Previously on Wild Arms 2: Odessa, a group of big, mean terrorists, made the scene, and encountered our intrepid heroes. And then everybody ran away. How does Ashley feel about that?



Not great.



But the always helpful Irving notes that ARMS would also have other problems with a pursuit.



Yep! For possibly the first time in JRPG history, WA2 is actually going to make a thing out of random nobodies stomping all over the whole world like they own the place (which, come on, these guys are the player’s avatars. We literally do own the place).



#realworldproblems



“Gee, I don’t know, maybe because you’re gradually and quietly acquiring every weapon on the planet?”



But, sure, let’s make it sound poetic.



We’ll get into it much more as the game goes on, but I’ll outright state it here: Wild Arms 2 is all about loving everyone in the world, whether they be from another country or not. I’m pretty sure I didn’t start this Let’s Play in 2017 by accident.



“Anyway, uh, we can’t really fight invisible borders… so… take a powder.”



“But I was just about to get to second base!”



Brad means this completely literally, as he isn’t going to leave that spot.



“Because I live there. No other reason.”



If you recall, Ashley picked up a shiny rock during the previous update. May as well unload that vendor trash.



Hmmmmmmm?



Methinks the musketeer doth protest too much.



Lilka, get up in there!



So we’ve got shore leave. Score! Brad and Lilka technically leave the party, and Ashley is free to wander back to Meria. If you want to power-level Ashley for some reason, please do it now.



Party chat in Wild Arms 2 is dull.



Christ, man, you don’t even know your boss’s name!?



Dash on home, Ashley. Once again, technically you’re a party of one for this section, but the battles here are scaled for Level 1 Ashley anyway, so no big.



Oh, good, it’s the weiner kids.



Ashley actually seems happy to see the squad. This will change shortly.



Nothing like small talk with prepubescent kitten chasers.



Oh, that rascally Tim.



And there’s some minor kiddy fighting going on here. Ashley is the adult, at least.



See? I knew Ashley didn’t want to deal with these losers.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Ashley is either blinking during this screen capture, or he has so checked out of this conversation that he is dead on his feet.



“I have to go give my damn not girlfriend this damn rock I found!”



Scott is the smart one.



Either that, or he came back to visit vengeance upon that kitten.



Occasionally Ashley will call Irving up in the middle of the night to remind him that he has absolutely no feelings for Marina. None.



“Don’t worry about our silly problems. Go get some, dude!”



“She’s just the only woman I know that is my age. Except Lilka. And, ugh, Lilka.”



Ashley dips out, and the cheerleaders stick around.



Oh, the rat tail is like a… Oh! I just got that!



“Not that I like you or anything!”



“Don’t you have a job?”



“Do I look like a jeweler? I found it wedged in an elevator switch. I could tell you a lot about elevator switches…”



“I already tried hitting Brad in the head with it, but he still couldn’t read my mind.”



“I’m just trying to make more room in my inventory for heal berries, I swear.”



“I will cherish this rock that may or may not actually work always.”



And that’s our “mission” for today. Delivered the rock, time to get out of here. Marina seems like maybe she wants to say something, though.



Incidentally, there’s official art of… I guess this is the first time Ashley heads out? I don’t know. What’s important is that Marina dresses like my grandmother, and Ashley is doing the toast thing, because he’s late for first period.



Back about town, people are still talking about Odessa broadcasting their terrorist agenda from various toilets.



And you can check back in with the kids to find that they’re starting Young ARMS. Oh, I wonder if they’re going to break into a little baby prison to find a new member?



Hooray! We don’t have to walk back to the chateau!



“That’s cool, I already ran out of trash to stow here… Oh, hi, Marina!”



This is… technically accurate. Just going to take a while.



“Don’t forget, I gave you that magic stone that may or may not transmit my thoughts! Oh, by the way, if the rock starts telling you to murder everyone, just ignore it! That’s probably not me!”



I am getting tired of this room.



International peacekeeping mission! Woo!

CONTINUED NEXT POST

… Huh?



Is it really lost technology if we were just told to use it?



Okay, so apparently it’s an ancient teleporter, and the brain trust of Bazooka Brad, dork magician girl, and rock man are going to “get it working again”. This should go well.



“Anyway, when you inevitably succeed in activating lost technology that may have been inactive for centuries, where you’re going is just a short walk from the other side of the teleporter. Toodles.”



“Even if you have to leave Lilka to die on the battlefield.”
“Wait, what?”



Party reassembled, away we go.



Live Reflectors are usually in the woods, right?



Yep.



Here we are. You know, the towns on the world map always look scaled and correct, but “ruins” are almost always the same silly ziggurat. Weird dichotomy.



The Live Reflector is basically a room leading to two rooms.



One room appears to be inactive, and the other…



Gasp!



“Did we determine whether or not this organization warrants a ‘the’?” “I don’t know, it kind of sounds scarier.”



“Be cautious, but run as quickly as possible.”



Oh no, it’s… The Young ARMS? Dammit, I knew the game was reminding us these kids exist for a reason.



“We were thinking WWAD, and you’re here, so we were right.”



Ashley has had it up to here with you nerds! Time to get Steve Rogers on ya, Tony Stark.



But Scott negotiates their way into sticking around.



You’d think Lilka would be happy to have someone lower on the totem pole.



Reminder: Lilka is 14.



Lilka asks “who dis”, as Ashley is the only ARMS member to have met Young ARMS, and Ashley’s response is… not useful.



What? We have plenty of choices! We could just walk them back to town, like, immediately! There are really weak monsters out there! They got here in the first place… uh… somehow!



Duh!



Turns out Tony Stark and Scott Summers are useless, but Tim led the way over here. High five, Tim!



Man, I was just trying to be polite, you don’t have to be weird about it.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

So the kids all pile into Ashley’s sprite, and I they technically join the party.



Though it’s not like they’ll be participating. They’re basically Alby the Dog Mk. 2.



Okay, let’s find out what’s in the basement. Maybe this is some kind of escort dungeon, and we’ll work together with…



Oh, nope. This is the end. No dungeon here.



Unfortunately, the piece of technology that we were told did not work does not actually work. Shocking.



Is… is this generator powered by monsters?



Oh, yeah, definitely a monster.



But the battle doesn’t start immediately. The creature just kinda grows in the middle of the room while the kids cower. Walk through the door, idiots!



Hey, Tim is the leader!



“Tim, you’re dressed like a mage, so I’m assuming you have like 10 HP. Get out of here!”



Tim… doesn’t really do anything but acknowledge there is an exit right here. I… guess that’s helping?



“Good, they’re clear. Brad, ready the bazooka.”



Now we can fight this… thing.



Elebart appears to be part hedgehog. Elebart hits hard, but, despite the name, his attacks don’t seem to have a paralyzing effect. That’s good! His attacks are also presumably thunder-based, but it’s not like you can do anything about that, one way or another, at this point in the game.



Unlike some of his contemporaries, Elebart will actually get easier if you take out his “parts”, so attacking his left and right claw first is a good idea.



When he’s armless, he’s reduced to just attacking with a belly bump, which hits a lot softer than his stone cold stunner. Regardless, if you keep Lilka on healing duty every round, you should be fine.



And watch that puppy explode.



So the reason the Live Reactor hasn’t been working is because no one thought to fight the random albino Godzilla that was hanging around? Okay, sure.



“Welp, looks like we failed another mission, guys. Wanna go out for ice cream?”



“What? You think we have someone on the team that can just summon electricity? Ha ha, you idiot. Lilka, hit that nitwit with a lightning bolt.”



But something happens!



Tim’s… chest is glowing? Yeah, I’d like to know what’s going on, too.



Oh, right. Tim gave one Medium to Ashley, and kept one for himself. Guess it’s reacting to… something.



And Tim is just walking on air at this revelation.



Glowy times over.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

But the mysterious light of Tim’s rock has now powered up the Live Reflector. Yay!



“I assumed it was some Tooth Fairy-level nonsense, but looks like she might have had a point.”



“But let’s not worry about that now. Move along.”



So many unanswered questions!



Fun fact: when the Odoryuk Medium inevitably finds itself into the party, we’ll discover that it is one of the few Mediums with absolutely no offensive properties.



Ashley Winchester: Guy who spends all his free time talking to friends about rocks.



You show those kittens whose boss!



“Local town leveled by child mercenary group.”



Okay, this is inevitable, so let’s talk about Tim Rhymeless. I deliberately didn’t introduce Tim when he first appeared in the adventure, because WA2 pulls off this amusing trick of making “one of the anonymous kids” gradually grow into being one of the most important characters. Or… it would pull off this trick if you didn’t watch an animated intro featuring Tim (and other party members, but not other kids) every time you booted up the game, or if Tim wasn’t prominently featured in the instruction manual as a party member. C’est la vie.

Whether it’s a surprise or not, Tim will eventually become our fourth party member. Sorta. In the grand scheme of the Wild Arms franchise, Tim is conceptually the third party member, and Lilka was just keeping that seat warm for him. Wild Arms 1, 2, and 3 all have an important party member that can communicate with the “gods” of the Filgaia du jour, and, for obvious reasons, that person is always important. Tim is no different… though that does kind of suck for Lilka.

Regardless, Tim isn’t just a living medium, he also goes through much of the typical hero’s journey over the course of the game, graduating from scared child to unwilling hero that discovers his own tragic/magical past (“You’re a wizard, Timmy!”), and even eventually scores what might be the most adorable relationship in the WA franchise. Basically, Tim isn’t your typical johnny come lately JRPG character, and does have a substantial arc for the remainder of the game.

So keep an eye on this kid. He’s going places.



But no time for that now, back to the top of Live Reflector.



Enter this room, and the kids bar the exit.



I would argue that monsters are attracted to shiny things, not repelled.



The Live Reflector can apparently send us to three locations. The two locations that are currently forbidden are Ruins Mine (that seems redundant)…



Dragon’s Vein…



And the Meria Boule Sacred Forest. Currently, only Meria Boule is active.



I really hope this ancient technology we just activated still works!



Every other teleportation sequence in every other franchise is crap.



And while we’re zipping across the globe, it’s time for a bad guy interlude. As a reminder, we learned that Caina is the kid with the ribbon during that cutscene back when Ashley went crazy.



Caina is apparently the Odessa accountant.



Yeah, can’t exactly take a part time job when you’re an international terrorist.

Let’s talk about Odessa for a moment. I mentioned it briefly during the last update, but Odessa does appear to be an attempt by Wild Arms 2 to make a “real” JRPG villain with real world problems. To wit:

� Where did the Odessa grunt army come from? They emptied the largest jail on the planet. Literally emptied it. So now they have a full staff of murderous prisoners that are being paid with early release.

� Did you pay attention to that speech? Odessa didn’t take credit for the monsters across the globe, but blamed their existence on the uncaring ruling class. The whole thing was a clear appeal to the “common man”, and a statement that Odessa is conquering the world “for” them. Odessa does care about its popularity with the locals.

Now we have Odessa facing the “real” problem of funding the revolution. So they’re running their own power plants and building their own bases for the express purpose of keeping their creepy jet running. This kind of pragmatism will continue through the rest of Odessa’s appearances, and is a clear nod to the actual logistics of attempting to be a JRPG bad guy (where did Sephiroth eat, anyway?).

Of course, none of it matters, because we’ll just hit these guys with swords until they all fall down anyway. But it’s the thought that counts!



Anyway, Caina blames the resource management on the one-eyed nitwit.



“Guys. Shut-up.”



That’s still a failing grade!



I bet all of these words will never be relevant ever.



It’s noted that the Odessa Death Jet is kind of expensive, but Glorious Leader thinks it’s worth it. If you’re gonna be a terrorist, you may as well terrorize.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Guy with Glasses continues to be kind of a dick to friend and foe.



Finally. Now we almost have everyone’s name. Where’s the redhead?



Judecca requests “fun work”. We’ll see what he considers to be “fun” soon enough.



Ah, here comes the redhead. Sidenote: These guys are apparently holding this conversation in Tourian.



Someone is actually getting work done around here.



There! All the names!



I do find it amusing that the bad guys have to do a little research on the good guys for once. I mean, ARMS did just start existing this week.



“Didn’t I turn those guys into green jelly?”



“They were much smaller.”



Ptolomea was not hired for his intellect.



Who owns the watchmen?



Where does he get those wonderful toys?



“Even so, they act like they're the ‘Allies of Justice’. I hate that kind of stuff. It's offensive.”

Caina takes personal offense at the idea of good guys. What a bad guy.



And Ptolomea writes ‘em off immediately.



But Vinsfield sees the benefits of…



Actively crushing the heroes. Bwa ha ha and whatnot.



“It’s just ARMS, sir.”
“What?”
“No ‘the’. Just ARMS.”
“What does that matter?”
“Well we don’t want to..”
“Shut-up.”



Now we’re getting to the fun stuff.



Judecca is kind of a lone wolf, but he does defer to Vinsfeld.



“Take the giant turtle.”
“Got it.”



And we close this villain powwow with Vinsfeld amused at his lack of funds.



Yay! Rich bad guys!



Just once, I’d like “that man” to secretly be, like, the villain’s dad, and he’s afraid to admit he’s been leeching off the family estate for his schemes.



Aaaaaand teleportation complete. Hooray! Not pictured: Ashley and Brad are accidently merged into one being, and Lilka must make the difficult decision to separate Brashley into his component pieces.



This Live Reflector appears to be exactly the same as the other location, though this one doesn’t contain a shortcut to the basement.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Remember how Wild Arms 2 is supposed to have a “wild west” theme? Well, it’s kind of undercut by a fantasy castle in the middle of a lush forest. You just don’t see that much in John Wayne flicks.



Here we are. It’s like twenty feet from the Live Reflector.

Oh, which reminds me…

ARMS Mission #5:
Reactivate the Live Reflector and reach Sylvaland Castle
Status: Success!
Notes: Required assistance from a twelve year old.



Upon entering, we immediately teleport to the throne room to deliver that letter.



Oh yeah, this is going to go well.



Dammit!



So, basically, if we fight the terrorists, we let the terrorists win. Got it.



Because we’re not directly threatening the entire world?



“Barging into our homes! Taking the heal berries from our barrels!”



“Anyway, tell Irving I say hi!”



Hm?



Gasp! Also, this is like saying “A hurricane has hit the United States state of Florida” to the president.



You know any other terrorists?



Gawrsh, if only there were some international peacekeeping forces in the area.



Yeah, you saw where that was going.



After ARMS leaves, the queen takes a moment to reconsider her position. I think we’ll have better luck when we return.



Oh, and this random knight seemed to like us, too.



Never trust anybody. Got it.



So now we’re allowed to explore the castle a little. It’s mostly soldiers talking about Halmetz.



Though there is this bell we can ring for some reason.



And this sleeping soldier that is blocking a treasure chest. I tried kicking the guy, but nothing happened.



Oh! Library! Abiding desire for peace, eh?



Enough to fight for it?



“Hey, Brad, whatever happened to Slayheim?”
“Don’t wanna talk about it.”



One of the books has to distinctly note that Sylvaland is a matriarchal society, and isn’t just currently ruled by a queen by a quirk of genetics or something. When women are in charge, there should be an entire book explaining why. Obviously.



And… this seems kind of heavy for your average semi-medieval library. I’m sure it won’t be important again, though.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Apparently Slayheim used to be responsible for all the mega-weapons laying around Filgaia, but, since someone turned Slayheim into a pile of sand, Guild Galad has taken up the torch. I’m assuming that will be more relevant than that whole silly “multiple worlds” nonsense.



On the way out, someone notices that a member of ARMS has a bomb strapped to his neck. You’d think that would have come up with the queen…



Time to go find Halmetz.



Here’s a random battle. Just wanted to remind everyone that this is a JRPG, and not a visual novel.



Here we are. Looks like a nice place.



Yep. Got the name on the screen and everything.



But… I don’t see any terrorist activity. Or… any activity. At all.



What’s going on here? Find out next time!

Next time on Wild Arms 2: It’s 4:20 somewhere, blaze it.

Previously on Wild Arms 2: ARMS asked to have free reign of an entire country, and Queen Whatshername was like, “wut? lol no.” But then a town got attacked, so ARMS had a chance to prove their collective usefulness.



Of course, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen, because the whole place is deserted.



Nobody asked for your opinion on the nightlife, Lilka.



G-g-g-g-g-ghosts?!



Great, everybody got raptured, and we missed it. Nora is going to be so pissed off that this happened again.



And then the bell rings. Ominous.



What? It’s just a ringing bell, how could that be…



Oh.



Hey! It’s Judecca! That guy who said he was going to kill all of us!



What gave it away? Was it the explosion?



Hey, Judecca, don’t make it bad.



“And don’t remind me that all of us have really powerful ranged weapons!”



This is a complete lie.



So Judecca purples up his own pocket monster.



Trask, I choose you!



I’m guessing this is… water/steel type? Nah, maybe water/rock.



Yeah, going to say water/rock. Trask loves to shoot its shell spikes as missiles.



Have I mentioned how much I like the monster design in Wild Arms 2? You gonna go Gamora, you go full Gamora.



I guess I should actually talk about the fight. Trask is about what you’d expect from a turtle: really defensive, and really slow. Oh, and it bites. Turtles do that. Regardless, you should have no trouble taking advantage of Trask’s speed, and Lilka should be able to immediately heal every turn. If this sounds like a similar strategy to previous boss fights, congratulations, you discovered why WA2 battles are kinda boring.



Just be careful Trask doesn’t poison the entire party. That would be a good time for Lilka to mystic up an antidote.



I’m not certain, but I think you can actually lose this fight and still advance. I just know that, even if you win, Trask keeps standing around (though you do score some nice EXP).



And Judecca explains that Trask is a defensive turtle, and you’re screwed.



Oh no! Now we’re in a cutscene! We’re super screwed!



Trask goes all black hole bomb on the party, and… this won’t end well.



Oh, hey Inner Voice. Went a whole update without ya.



"Take the power! Nintendo Power! Order now and receive a free strategy guide!"

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Come to the darkside, Lu…. Ashley.



And so there’s a really brief flash of white, and Ashley and company are unconscious, but still breathing. Trask isn’t so lucky.



Wait, the terrorist mutant turtle was just meant to subdue them? Where are your terminal poisonous bio weapons?



And Judecca takes a moment to contemplate his own mortality.



So let us take a moment to contemplate Judecca Ducet. Here is our second featured member of Cocytus, and this one is the most villainous of the lot. As you’ve no doubt noticed, Judecca is the “cool one” who always has a quip ready for friend or foe alike. He also has guns ready for said friends or foes, because he’s apparently a raging sadist. That’s basically his entire character: he really enjoys seeing people in pain. This makes Judecca the most heinous of the gang, but also the most one dimensional. He’s basically Kefka minus the will to power (and stellar wardrobe), and that can only take you so far. Also, sadistic guy with glasses and guns is kind of a played out trope (even back in 2000).

Were this another universe, Judecca would pilot Red Lion, but only after starting on Blue Lion.



But now we catch up with our heroes who… Dammit! Another prison!?



Brad has already made himself at home.



And Ashley wakes up screaming? That has to be a translation error.



Did ARMS get caught in a scene transition?



Ashley has been sent to two different prisons in the span of a week.



“Not like she could wake up and use any magical healing spells or anything.”



Somebody’s got a case of the sleepys.



And Lilka is apparently seeing Ashley as her older sister. That’s healthy.



Yeah, let’s put together a plan and…



Oh, guess it’s up to me. Yeah, that’s fine, too.



There is a switch and treasure on the other side of this heavy steel gate, but Brad’s kickin’ boots are not going to cut it for demolishing this door.



Oh, a block that is slightly ajar? This should be useful.



Kick it!



Pull it!



Hooray! We’re shawshanking our way out of this joint.



I just like how our secret passage and block blend into the scenery. Good modeling, some random person from twenty years ago!



Golgotha Prison is a dungeon’s dungeon. There are traps all over the place, and practically all of them will eat off a chunk of your HP. It’s not enough to really “kill” the party, but we’ve got kind of a death by a million cuts thing going on here. Our first general obstacle is floor spikes.



You don’t even have to run over the floor spikes: so long as you walk briskly, all will be well.



In fact, walking is recommended, as, if you run, you’re likely to fall into the pit. Falling doesn’t deal any damage, but it does mean you’ll have to start the room over from the entrance.



The next room involves a switch in the middle of a row of spikes. Just remember how to walk, and you’ll be fine. And, yes, there are monsters about. This is a great place to start cancelling annoying encounters while you’re trying to avoid being stabbed.

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Now we have spear traps. These lil’ pointers come from the walls (not the floor), and you do need to run past them to avoid damage. Note that getting stabbed by any trap will trigger some recoil, which will usually Ninja Gaiden you right into a pit. Luckily, our first area with spears is deliberately all on solid ground.



Run to the treasure!



The next spear room introduces pits. This area is ultimately training you to gain the skills to really control the wonky Wild Arms run. And that skill will… pretty much never be useful. Ever.



Here are some emblematic yetis of the prison industrial complex.



The next area has a “Ashley tosses a dagger” puzzle. I guess they had to throw the prime protagonist a bone.



And save point! This is one of the few dungeons where there isn’t a save point right before the boss, so be sure to save.



I’m on the edge of my seat…



Ow! Jerk!



Oh… great. So the trick here is that you have to open a door, and then move the heck out of the way.



Though you’re welcome to Booty Call and find out which door hides a crest graph.



At least “correct” doors stay open. If you have any kind of dexterity (and can remember what happened in the last room), you shouldn’t suffer any damage here at all.



Well, assuming you don’t have to fight any random skeleton dinosaurs, at least. Skeleton dinosaurs are the new black.



The proper exit door is the second from the left.



Okay, the next room is just messing with ya.



There is a minor puzzle here. You have to kick this board back and forth three times (see?) to open the door. Don’t dash over the spike squares, and you’ll be on your way in no time.



Next room, next puzzle.



Do you know about timed hits?



The next room tosses you a few mercy health crystals. Usually, these crystals are used in more interesting ways in dungeons, but here, it’s basically just an easy fill-up.



Hi, guy blocking the doorway forward.



…. You’re pathetic.



This switch is actually more difficult to pull. You have to press the X button, like, ten whole times!



Door’s open, and we’ve got a room full of villagers.



“We… meant to get to your village earlier. Sorry ‘bout that.”



“Are any of you worth any exp? Anybody? No? Okay, then you should all make it back okay.”



“… Was the weapon a turtle?”

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“Does anybody here have a truck? Or a bus? Did you park close?”



Lilka and Brad volunteer to coordinate the evacuation, and Ashley is stuck going it alone to scout ahead.



You can chat up the locals before heading out. It’s like an entire town in one room!



*Cough* Uh… about that bell tower…



Nope, not gonna touch this one. Let’s just assume this is shorthand for “is scared and praying”.



Oh, we have an explanation for this prison-out-of-nowhere, too. This is one giant death row. Hm, I guess that explains all the fatal traps. I mean, assuming the Filgaia prison system works like a game show.



Damaged guillotine blocking the hallway. That’s always a good sign.



One last “prison puzzle”. This room has horrible lighting, and…



A new kind of spike trap. The spikes that rise from these plates permanently block progress forward, so you just have to navigate this room while avoiding any of those metal plates. In the dark. Alone.



It’s not that big of a deal, though. There aren’t any monsters for the solo Ashley to fight, either.



Back to that hallway. What’s in here?



Oh, it’s an entire roomful of Odessa soldiers. Better be quiet.



Apparently the chatter amongst the randos is that Judecca is up to something. Also: where did Odessa get all these uniforms for their prisoner army. Is Ptolomea a tailor?



And our exit is just a short stroll down guillotine row.



“Dude, did you see how many guillotines I just blew past? Duh.”



Hm?



What? Just… what!?



“I leave you guys alone for five minutes!”



Ah, the old “heroes will never endanger the innocent” trick.



Ashley, there is no way you have the ups to pull that one off.



Oh, now what have you got?



Dammit! Trask 2: The Traskening!



Okay, no big, we’ll just use the defend command for the next forever.



Honestly, this is a pretty good plan… assuming you’re okay with the logistics of capturing an entire town. Basically, use the villagers as shields to make the heroes docile, and then make said villagers watch as said heroes are murdered by a giant turtle. That sounds like terrorizing to a T.



Also, that.

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