What in Blazes!? It's Wild Arms 2!

Part 2 in an update that started on the previous page.



Turns out this wasn’t so much a dungeon as Marivel’s family’s summer estate.



Ashley is concerned.



And Marivel gets a little introspective.



It’s hard being the last of a race of immortals.



Marivel still misses the Sword Magess, which means Marivel hasn’t had a friend for a solid few centuries.



Maybe make friends with some statues?



Yeah! Go live alone in a basement somewhere!... Oh, you were already doing that?



Marivel does an immediate 180, and decides to be friends with, like, all of ARMS. Unfortunately, she is still a hidden character, so we can’t really script for that…



Yay! Friendship is vampires!



It’s a shame she isn’t a Medusa, because we could really stand to get that parrot out of the palace.



Use the allergy excuse! This ancient tomb has got to be dusty!



And, yeah, that’s about it.



No hidden super weapon or new special attack, we’re just done here. The “reward” for that dungeon is the Time Guardian, learning that Marivel is deeply lonely and will continue to lead a solitary existence for eternity was just icing on the cake.

Incidentally, the cutscene takes over, plays out, and then boots you back to the entrance the minute you enter that final room; but you can return to that area to read some random books on the shelves. I would do that… buuuut I kind of hate that invisible walkway area, and I am in no great rush to do that again. Maybe later?



But for now, we’re going to hop back in our hovercraft and hover over to a previous area.



Lost Garden is where Ashley had to rescue his girlfriend from the last surviving member of Odessa.



And it contained one of those weird smiley blocks that we saw in the last dungeon. Wind it up, Marivel!



This unlocks a path to a number of treasure chests, and…



Marivel’s final tool.



It winds up being different in every game, but this is the stock Wild Arms tool “lousy music maker”.



Marivel sings, and, if there are monsters in the area, you’re in for an immediate fight. Additionally, there are secret spots across the world where singing will unlock a hidden boss fight. The best equipment in the game is locked behind these “hidden” fights, and you better believe we’ll be taking those down in their own update. So, basically, to fight the big bad bonus bosses, you need the hidden character of the game, and you need all of her hidden tools from hidden areas. Neat line of succession, there.



While we’re gathering up items from previous areas…



Lost City of the Salt Flats had a few treasure chests behind a cage, and Tim fears cages no more.



These treasure chests are amazing. One contains a scape goat, an accessory that will re-raise a character, but just once. The Life Orb, however, is the sweetest prize here. Used as an accessory, the Life Orb will refill HP after a battle. Ho-hum. But! Completely undocumented within the game itself, if Lilka uses the Life Orb as part of her Mystic skill, it completely refills the HP of the whole party. And it has unlimited uses. So, if Lilka has 25 FP, she can basically bring the party back from death an infinite number of times. Sweet! Lilka just became a whale of a lot more useful!



If it seems like I’m ping ponging around the world map without much actual direction: that’s because I am. There are a lot of hidden areas in Wild Arms 2, and, having just recently obtained the airship of the game, I can finally access nearly all of them. But not everything is “automatically” activated as a place that can be visited, so if I see a spot that clearly is supposed to house something, then I have to scoot around and wait until I have the eureka moment of “oh yeah, I have to stay at that one inn for some reason”. And here we are at Guild Galad.



Update #21 featured a random NPC claiming that staying at this inn would reap some rewards, so let’s give it a go.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

I want to say this happened after staying maybe three times.



There we go. Thanks!



Here we are. This island is part of that “Bermuda Triangle” thing going on in the south, and it couldn’t be more obvious that something is supposed to be here.



Pirate’s Warren is not so much a “dungeon” as it is “three rooms”.



First of all, the real “prize” of this area is one of those hidden “super” bosses.



… But you can’t access it until you pick up Ashley’s final tool from the final dungeon.



Your consolation prize in the meanwhile is six duplicator-sealed treasure chests. If you’ve got six duplicators, go nuts! If not, it’s basically a lottery. Prizes include a crest that cuts FP cast cost in half, and accessories that boost strength, defense, and encounter cancel time. There’s also an auto-regen accessory, too. You really can’t go too wrong with any item here, but nothing is particularly game-breaking, either.



And that’s it for here. We’ll be back for that boss later.



Seems to be a green dot on the radar. Let’s land here.



Oh! Shiny!



Wait? What? I’m the worst LP’er ever. Apparently this is what the Guild Galad inn-sleeping unlocks as a location. I just hit the Pirate’s Warren immediately after doing that by complete accident. Whoops! Apparently you can access this dungeon as early as when you obtain the teleporting hovercraft.



This is another optional guardian dungeon.



The puzzle du jour is a series of repeating rooms/doors that look exactly the same. The answer is to take the east door, west door, and then double back and take the “entrance” door for “tomorrow”.



The next area advocates looking.



Climb to the top of the stairs, and pivot the camera around to see the answer to our next question. Need a hint?



How’s this photoshop for ya?



The next room has a riddle. What’s the answer?



I think you know. And, no, I have no idea how this puzzle/room works in the original Klingon.



And we’re done. New guardian time.



I’m pretty sure nearly every WA2 enemy is strong to dark, but not 100% weak to light. Lame dichotomy, WA2.



Stare Roe is a returning guardian that also happens to be a beetleborg. As expected, he confers elemental attacks that are all light-based. Additionally, he grants “shot”, which is basically the “throw” command of Wild Arms 2. There are a few items that are shot-based, and, like the Spoon/Chef’s Knife of Final Fantasy 4, some throwing items are incredibly powerful. Or you can ignore them completely. Whatever, man, I’m not your mom.



Speaking of optional guardian dungeons, going to make a quick stop back at Thunder Lion Cage.



Marivel can unlock a secret room in the opening area. Considering most people find this dungeon well before Marivel ever joins, I’m pretty sure no one ever remembers this area without a FAQ.



New Marivel equipment! That cape is actually better than the one we found in the catacombs.



Apparently there is some backstory to the hidden bosses of Wild Arms 2. They are the power of the Crimson Nobles, all sealed in ferocious beasts that could destroy the world. Neat? Uh, I guess that gives us a reason for Marivel being the only one that can unlock these fights. Unfortunately, it doesn’t mean Marivel’s family gets revived if we slay the beasts. Sorry, Marivel, you’re alone forever.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

I am almost certain this should be “sealed pyramids”, because I’m not aware of any “Sealed Pillar” anywhere in the game. It is possible it’s supposed to be referring to a specific location, though. Many of the sealed pyramids are in places that could be ancient venues, so maybe a pillar degraded along the way?



I’ve futzed around enough for one update, may as well head north and get back to the real plot.



Raypoint Geo for Smash!



Welcome to Brad’s dungeon. Would you like to activate some switches with bombs?



These switch-walls will slowly raise up to block your way if the switches are not intermittently activated, so show off your Bomberman skills with some delayed bombs.



And we’ll use Pooka to sneak Brad’s newest tool out of a treasure chest.



Oh yeah! This gonna be good!



Woo! Earthquake, ultimately, is just as useless as every other non-Tim, late-game tool, and is required in this dungeon, and then mostly never again. However, it feels damn good to shake up the place, even if you never get to completely glitch out a teleporting system.



Unfortunately, the ability to cause an earthquake does not benefit Brad in battles against nature’s deadliest foe, the Alligatiger.



It does help out against moving platforms, though.



Just be careful to keep the momentum moving on these platforms with repeated earthquakes, else you’re going to wind up down below.



This place has some nice… lizard statues? Maybe foxes?



Oh! New Arm for Brad!



The second-to-last Arm for Brad fires a devastating beam of death straight from the heavens. And it even works indoors, for some reason!



This room requires some better bomb management. Not pictured: better bomb management.



And this room shows the gulf between “exciting falling platforms” and “JRPG walk cycles”.



This dungeon seems to contain a few more incidental treasures than previous Raypoint dungeons. It’s like Iggy’s airship in Super Mario Bros. 3.



But there are basic Brad accessories around, too.



And basic Brad bosses, too.



Hey, it’s our first and only boss for this update.



And you’ve seen her before!



Give or take an elemental affinity, this is still the same fight as the other Spriggans.



She even has that same annoying tendency to reflect all magic.



Her big spell is earth-based, but the animation for it kind of… forgot to add anything fun. No flame effects or earth shaking or whatever, it’s just like the party simultaneously decided to mime actually being attacked.



That is a really cool name for a bandana.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Are… are all save points in Wild Arms 2 the corpses of defeated Spriggans, but we only got to four of ‘em before they died? Something to think about.



More quake ‘n walk puzzles…



The occasional priceless piece of history to kick over…



A bomb switch area to traverse…



Fisto wuz here.



Use that statue as a walkway…



Ah, here we are: end of the dungeon. Brad’s dungeon was, appropriately enough, pretty direct. Hit everything, and then move forward.



Other Raypoints are like “Tim, child of history that does not wish to be sacrificed”, and Geo here is all, “Hey, Brad.”



Brad… did you just read the stage directions by accident?



The Final Fantasy franchise is overrated! There! I said it!



Brad, you’re really stuck on this heart thing. Keep it up, and people are going to be calling you Draxb.



“So you’re saying I’m going to have to..”
“Keep your clothes on, please.”



You can’t handle the truth/me!



“Thanks for the resume! Can I use you as a reference?”



They can be two things!



The truth will set it free.



And here we get into the whole “Brad is Brad” thing.



Again, there is evidence that “Brad” is not really Brad, but only took the name when the “real” Brad was critically wounded.



But, on the other hand, you can certainly interpret what Brad is saying here as Brad took up the mantle of “Brad the Hero” or “Brad the Leader” as a promise to his friend, and Brad does not consider himself a real “hero”, because he just adopted that persona to be a better leader/adventurer.



You could really go with either interpretation, and there’s circumstantial evidence for both choices.



Or it’s all a side effect of the wonky translation, and this is much more deliberate in the original Japanese. Who bloody knows!?



Whatever the case, the moral winds up being the same…



Shut-up, Omnipotent Light! I’m talking here!



Basically, Brad might be the guys that fakes it until he makes it, but at least he’s faking it for a good reason!



At this point, it doesn’t matter if Brad is the Hero of Slayheim, because he doesn’t need to be anything more than Brad, the guy that has an earthquake tool that will help us get through this dungeon.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And, in the end, Brad is part of a unit, anyway, so he doesn’t even have to be “Brad” anymore.



Say it. Say your name.



Or what you’re not. Whatever.



“I’m not a hero, but I’m going to do heroic things! Yay!”



That’s the stuff.



Also: Brad provides a bonus, misspelled truth.



“Look, glowy thing. I’ve played a JRPG before. I know how this works.”



“Whoa. You got me. Okay, off you go. Don’t tell the others! The other glowy things and I want it to be a surprise!”



This isn’t in response to anything, Ashley just thinks Brad is a-okay.



“Wow, Kanon, I hope your Raypoint challenge involves besting Captain Obvious.”



BOOST!



Brad’s final force ability, Boost, is basically his level 1 force ability… uh… boosted. It will utilize one Arm, grant it 100% accuracy, and then hit with three times the normal attack power. A fine all-out attack, but rarely more useful than conserving your FP for multiple, little attacks. It would also probably be a lot more useful in a game where you’re constantly updated on the opponent’s HP.



And I guess that’s it for today. We’ve still got one more Raypoint to go, and it’s going to get a little… moist.

Next time on Wild Arms 2: Water Temple Switches.

"Rouse" is the singular of "rice," I'm pretty sure.

If Marivel needs to sing to activate the superboss battles, does that mean she needs to be part of the party that fights them, too?

Nah, the "leader" or "tool user" is completely independent of battle formation, so she isn't required in any battles, just startin' 'em.

Incidentally, this game would be unbearable if your battle party got reshuffled every time you had to switch characters to serve some multi-step puzzle.

Oh god I can hear the Marivel singing sound in my head.

Quick someone photoshop Marivel and Kirby with the Mike ability together.

Previously on Wild Arms 2: We’ve activated three Reypoints, now it’s time for the last of ‘em.



Up to this point, the other dungeons could be completed in any order. For reasons that are lost to time, however, the final of these four Reypoints requires a little more effort.



First of all, we have to stop back at that crazy drawbridge from back when Lilka was palling around her ice town. Then, we have to have already obtained Tim’s Mist Cloak from his signature dungeon. Mist cloak through the fence we saw a thousand updates ago, and…



Oh boy! Treasure!



Blast ‘em is Ashley’s last non-hidden, easily obtained Arm. Blast ‘em hits a whole party of monsters, so it’s pretty useful for large groups of mooks you need to clear out quickly. Unfortunately, basically none of the super difficult battles in WA2 are group battles, and it’s a lot more economical to use guardian summons or magic for general monster mobs. But still! Nice to have!



But more importantly than treasure (that phrase hurts to write), we can now access the bridge control panel that Liz & Ard monkeyed (lizarded?) with earlier.



Screw local traffic, we’re leaving that bridge up forever.



Now we can hop in our hovercraft and access the inner bay around Sielje.



There are two beaches that are now accessible. Both have rocky terrain, so our magical flying robot dragon can’t land in these locations. One island contains some random treasure, and the other…



Goal! Incidentally, while finding the way to this Reypoint might seem rather unintuitive (accessing a random dungeon from forever ago certainly doesn’t seem like an obvious way forward), the fact that flying over this area will indicate a green dot telling you something is there is rather helpful. Then it’s just a matter of figuring out how to get there…



Anyway, water dungeon time.



First, a basic puzzle that may or may not have thematic relation to our featured character. Look back, young Kanon.



And there’s a switch hiding on the back of a pillar. Yay retrospection!



And now for the hub of our water dungeon: a room with a raised raft, and a number of doors and objects that are clearly underwater. Link would be proud. Or terrified.

Technically, the reason the Mist Cloak is required to find this dungeon is that the Mist Cloak and its “hop over a pit” ability is 100% required to traverse this area. Considering Kanon has her own grappling hook for crossing pits, this is an… odd design choice.



There are also rudimentary block puzzles, because there’s nothing more dungeon-y than shoving around blocks to make progress.



At least there is treasure about.



And monsters. Can’t ever forget about the monsters. Gives Kanon a chance to learn a new skill, at least.



Incidentally, when you clear each of these block puzzles, the blocks disappear. Was there ever really a puzzle there at all?



Water dungeons require valves. It’s how they work!



So, yeah, we’re going to do that thing where we gradually make progress by doing the same things over and over again to lower the water level in the main hub room. I am less than enthused about this dungeon.



However, at least we don’t have to randomly raise and lower the water level to obtain small keys or whatever. This is at least one of your more straightforward water dungeons.



If anyone reading this is making a JRPG, please do not include any block puzzles. They’re the non-descript crates and barrels of dungeon design.



This is getting repetitive already.



Tim! Put that down! It’s dangerous!



This is getting repetitive already.



Considering this is a dungeon that requires at least one of the new tools to even access, someone could have made this a dungeon that requires the other two new tools, too, and designed a sort of “omni” dungeon, like the Wily Castle to the other dungeon’s Robot Masters. But, uh, no. It’s just block puzzles and same-y rooms all the way down.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Kanon gets all the good loot, even if we’re almost exclusively using Tim’s tools to traverse this dungeon.



Hey, cool, we solved enough block puzzles to drain this room.



Kanon wants to get out of this dungeon as quickly as possible.



Ah, must be the halfway point.



Move forward! Sprig ahead!



Yeah, she’s exactly like the last three, just water-based this time.



Again, considering you (almost) have to have defeated at least one Spriggan to even access this dungeon, this would be an excellent time to insert a boss or variation on a boss that subverts expectations…



But, no, she works just like the other three elemental knights. Dies just the same, too.



This is Kanon’s new hat. Anyone have a clue what a “Shamir” is?



I know what a save point is.



Oh, I was wondering when we would finally get around to Kanon’s final signature tool. Everyone else got their dungeon items immediately.



The jump shoes allow Kanon to hop up and down like an idiot. If you stand on a special tile (already seen multiple times in this update), Kanon can hop up and down like an idiot really far.



That’s one special jump, and a bunch of useless, regular jumps. As you may be able to guess, these Jump Shoes are only going to see wear and tear in this dungeon.



Clues to our next two puzzles are inscribed on these statues. At least there is some synergy between “Muse”, the Wild Arms 2 designation for “water”, and “Muse”, the Greek ladies that are responsible for all artistic inspiration (but, like most artists, didn’t get laid very often).



And a “walk a certain number of steps” puzzle.



For that second hint, we have to travel back to one of the block puzzle rooms…



Find that room’s muse statue, walk the right number of steps in the right direction, and then give the masonry a little hop…



And now we’re above the muse hint room, ready to make some progress.



The next area is a little flooded, but try to remember its general geography.



Keep remembering! The next puzzle is just a hop, skip, and a jump away.



Here we are. Hop on one of these rafts, and it’ll fall below to create a bridge. However, only one raft will actually connect to the other side, so choose wisely.



If you fail, you have to walk all the way back up the stairs. I do not fail.



The next area clearly has the same “puzzle”, but there are treasure chests of varying value for incorrect guesses. I suppose you could stomp every last raft down… or you could just use Tim and Pooka to steal these chests without having to create a path. This is what Pooka performance looks like.



Heading up to the next raft depot, there are also treasure chests that require the bare minimum of tool usage.



Here we are. Hop to make progress, Kanon.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

And now for the final puzzle of the area.



As clued a few statues back, the goal of this Illusion of Gaia-ass puzzle is to make sure each and every Muse statue is looking square in the face of an adjacent statue.



These purple gems will rotate the corresponding statue 90 degrees, but the “broken” statues are never going to move. Thus, you’re forced to work backwards and accommodate the immobile statues first.



Ultimately, it’s a pretty simple puzzle if you just focus on individual pairs, and don’t get overwhelmed with trying to solve the whole room at once. There’s probably a moral somewhere in there.



And we’re at the end. For a water dungeon, this wasn’t bad. For general dungeon design, however, it was fairly uninspired for the first half, and then just… odd for the second. Hopping on rafts? Is that a thing?

Incidentally, as this is our last Reypoint dungeon, I’d like to take a moment to note that this quartet of dungeons is more interesting than the similarly themed Diablo Pillars of the first disc… but they’re still kind of lame. Tim’s dungeon is the only one that really feels like it was fleshed out, and Brad’s dungeon was generally visually interesting with its moving and falling platforms, but the other two dungeons seemed a lot like filler. Look, Wild Arms 2, we know you have a supporting cast with interesting characters that feel like they should have their own signature dungeons, but maybe try a little harder to make those dungeons interesting, too.



And now it’s time for one of those mystical spirits that knows everyone’s names. Do they have some kind of directory of all human life or…



Does your confusion bring you joy?



This Raypoint is basically just garbage collection.



WE GET IT.



So, yeah, treading some well-worn ground with Kanon here. Discarding your past to become strong… might have drawbacks?



And “Aisha”, the version of Kanon before she was Kanon, is here to point out the general… discomfort with discarding one’s self.



Kanon stands firm that she must be Kanon to be strong.



Maybe hero blood isn’t good enough? Maybe, like, werewolf blood would clear up these problems?



Aisha asks Kanon a simple question: if she had been a bionic monster hunter from the beginning, if she had been “strong”, would she still have suffered so much?





This is just the saddest thing. Aisha dreamed of being a hero not to save the world or whatever, but because she believed that if she were strong (and maybe kind of a robot), she would be able to escape the hellhole that was her existence.



But Kanon comes around to the idea that maybe she didn’t need to be a legendary hero to escape, she just needed a little help from her friends



And, uh, some friends at all.



You can’t hug your friends with a grappling hook.



The… uh… fleshy one. Tim is still a little shy around your bionic arm ever since you, ya know, killed him with it a few times.



And Aisha claims that if Kanon embraces who she truly is, her “real”, fleshy body will be reborn without the years of painful implants.



Yes, Kanon will now become her true self without confusion, she will become…



Oh, wait a tick.



Kanon is Kanon, dumbass.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Kanon discarded her old self to become strong, yes. And, yes, maybe that was the wrong reason to change herself, as she really needed friends more than a bionic eye. But you know what? Maybe because she did something for the wrong reason doesn’t mean she made the wrong choice. Kanon likes being Kanon, even if it’s painful and the general public doesn’t approve.



And a vaguely omnipotent spirit of the planet doesn’t quite get it.



Can I just say I love any situation where a divine being doesn’t understand a human choice? I’m not being sarcastic, I eat this kind of stuff up with a spoon.



And it certainly doesn’t hurt that this is a trans/queer metaphor.



“No, you stupid spirit, I like being different. Thanks for clearing up my confusion, but we’re all onboard with this ‘constricted’ body.”



Uh… sure. People say that all the time.



“Okay, whatever, you pass. Now I’m going to have to get rid of this spare Aisha body. Anybody in the mood for sausage?”



Bonus prize!



Level 4 Gat is unlocked. We don’t know any Level 4 skills yet, though, so it’s useless for the moment.



Looks like we have to walk out of here, so let’s talk about Kanon, as this is her last big scene.

Look, I’m not prepared to see Kanon as anything but a trans metaphor at this point. She discards her old self, adopts a new name, changes her body, and everyone from random townsfolk to gods is like “dude, life would be so much easier if you just were normal like everybody else”. And you know what? Kanon says “f*** you” to all that noise. Kanon knows she has problems. Kanon knows she’s an outcast. Kanon knows there are people/deities that are never going to accept her. But Kanon also knows that she has friends that support her. Kanon knows she might not be like anybody else on this whole stupid planet, but she’s still all-in on being herself, no matter what form that takes. She could easily use some shortcut to go back to being “normal”… but would that make her happy? Would she really want that outcome? No. She wants to be herself, and now she has a support group that wants her to be herself, too. Kanon is Kanon. She is not her ancestor. She is not Aisha. She is the person she made herself to be, and no one can tell her to be otherwise.

Granted, Kanon isn’t much of a character past “is a cyborg” and “has a moral”, but she’s a pretty good moral for a crusty old JRPG.



Whoops, we’re saved from having to walk through this dungeon again by a phone call.



“I know you called us, but guess what we did!”



Oh, right, we’re going to bounce the Reypoint energy off our teleporting array to mip map the hyper thrusters until we reverse the polarity on a hot air balloon or something.



Remember that encroaching universe that is coming to destroy us all? It’s purple, I guess.



Global harmony! Unexpected bonus!



Do we… uh… flip a switch… or…?



Oh! Neat polygon cage!



Aaaaand we did it! We captured a parallel universe with the power of the ancient Super FX chip!



And now that cosmic trap is descending to Filgaia. Hooray?

Wild Arms Mission #24
Awaken the Reypoints and use their energy to capture an errant dimension.
Status: Success!
Notes: We may have been distracted a few times during the mission, but it’s not like the entire planet was in danger or anything.



Yes yes, world peace is wonderful for all of us.



Gawrsh, wonder if this is some relevant banter…



Back to the world being threatened.



Dang! That’s terrible! You really want to aim for at least 5%.



We used all of the energy in the planet, and the best we could pull off was below a decimal point.



“Uh, sure. Go shoot your guns at it or something.”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“So it has HP. And you know what to do with a monster that has HP.”



Yeah! We are going to go punch reality a new one! Score!



I mean… uh… I like that you gave us directions, but I’m not so sold on this “Land of Death and Destruction” thing…



Whatever! Our next task is to go stab a trapped, for-some-reason-now-alive universe. What could possibly go wrong?

Next time on Wild Arms 2: Oh sweet Filgaia this is the worst dungeon ever.

It's feast or famine in this LP!

Previously on Wild Arms 2: The last Reypoint was activated, and now I am free from typing that word ever again. If we need to refer to those dungeons again, I’m just going to say “those spots”. We clear on that? Good. Moving on.



So Irving just gave us the word that the whaddyacallit trapped baby universe is hanging out in the Zone of Death, so let’s head over to the most deathly place we know.



Quick teleport over to the salt flats of Slayheim…



And we’re one quick dragon trip away from the Trapezohedron.



For the first time, we receive a phone call before entering the dungeon.



Long story short?



We are warned that we will not be able to leave the dungeon after entering. This is not the final dungeon, but it is kind of nice that the writers provided this feint to make you think it might be the final dungeon.



So we’re given the option of wandering off and doing literally anything else. Frankly, I’ve read ahead, and I can tell you that entering this dungeon is a mistake. Please, go. Go enjoy your life.



Ugggggggh.

So this is the third and final Millennium Puzzle-style area (like Lilka’s intro and that one at the start of Disc 2). For some reason, the Wild Arms 2 people really loved these trippy background, teleporter-maze based dungeons. Personally, I hate teleporter mazes worse than I hate pickles (and I really hate pickles), so this whole area is just nails on a chalkboard to me.



The big deal here is that there aren’t any real “puzzles” like the magic blocks in the previous similar dungeons, but there are paths that need to be activated by standing in particular spots. In this way, new routes are opened, and you better hope you don’t randomly miss stepping on the right “activation” square.



There is some thought put into this area: there are HP crystals that you can use as breadcrumbs to determine whether or not you’ve used a teleporter before. It’s not a perfect system, as you do need to go in some odd directions and outright ignore some teleporters to get around, but it’s a step in the right direction.

But, otherwise? This dungeon is a lot of branching paths and branching teleporters all in very same-y corridors without any landmarks past “this area is green”. I just wound up teleported back to the entrance, and… why did that happen? I don’t know.



Here’s a map courtesy of psycho_k41@hotmail.com at gamefaqs. Technically, the dungeon isn’t that complicated, but seeing this bird’s eye view really does reduce the sheer confusion that occurs when bopping between different areas that are poorly distinguished within the game itself.



Anyway, back to the opening area again, for some reason!



There are monsters around, and, for better or worse, they don’t pop up very often. The encounter counter seems to reset every time you enter a room, and the frequent teleportations seem to serve the same purpose.



I think this is the blue area? It better not be the green area again!



Did I mention there are absolutely no treasures in this dungeon? Because of course there aren’t. It’s just all teleporting and monster fights.



Did I just get teleported back into the same area? Who knows!



Can the rest of this update just be “insert dungeon here”?



The save point does indicate the halfway point. At least you know that if you see this again, you’re going backwards.



I am about seven seconds away from ignoring this whole stupid area and just posting passages from Moby Dick.



Was this dungeon a late addition to the game? Needed to pad out that second disc with more content? Most WA2 dungeons contain some interesting puzzle or design elements, but this is just a slog from start to finish. We just got a whole new set of tools! Four of ‘em! We could use those! But, no. A teleportation maze does not a fun area make.



Okay, and here’s a(nother) reason I hate this dungeon: the final area has three branches: one branch leads to the finale, the other two branches lead you back to earlier in the dungeon. There’s no benefit to backtracking, as there are no treasures to miss or secrets to re-explore. This is just dungeon design via spite.



At least one of the random monsters is this butterfly-centaur-manticore.



So, as you can probably guess, I took a wrong turn in that final area, and wound up spending another half hour bumbling around the place.



Okay, finally hit the boss of the area. There is probably some way I could relay to you, gentle reader, how much this area took way too much time and was way too annoying… but I respect you, and I’m not going to post 75 pictures of the same stupid hallways.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

“It’s probably just an optical illusion from spending all day in a psychedelic dungeon. Don’t worry about it.”



The… larva? Uh… the universe had a baby?



Oh… okay.



Universe had an ugly baby.



Extra credit to whoever animated that cone mouth. That is unnatural.



Oh, cool, we get to punch it right in its cone.



Larva seems to spam Arc en Ciel, a status attack that can inflict like six different status effects on your poor party.



It’s unlikely to outright kill anybody, but it is annoying to have a character (like Ashley here) poisoned and paralyzed and sleeping. Hey! The annoying dungeon has an annoying boss!



Here is Ashley’s Full Clip Level 3 Force Skill in action. Ashley uses every bullet in his arm to do pretty much all the damage.



I mean, we won the fight, right? That’s… something?



Thank you, Dr. Kanon.



Yeah, we knew this going in. We “captured” less than 1% of the universe with this plan, did you think we were going to successfully capture its vital blowhole or something?



“Screw you guys! Eat my larva!”



“Kate and Amy made cookies, and it would be a shame to watch the world be destroyed and waste cookies.”



That’s it, I’m calling it…

Wild Arms Mission #25
Capture an errant dimension and kill it good.
Status: Failure!
Notes: We did everything right, but that wily dimension was too much for us.



Brad temporarily slips into his Shakespearean accent.



“Which, coincidentally, we are also losing.”



Let’s do the same thing again, and hope it works differently!



All the energy stored up in the entire planet, and we blew it all on one crappy dungeon.



“And we’ve got… until Tuesday.”



This entire exchange was guest translated by Sideshow Mel.



“Guys, just chill. We’ll fight another universe another day.”



“If we’re all going to die, I should probably call my not-boyfriend.”



What’s that, Irving?



Not going to share with the rest of us? Is that because… you have the worst idea ever?

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Yes, we have already established that.



The general plan was that it takes the living planet of Filgaia to trap an entire universe, but, now without the rey-energy, Filgaia wouldn’t be able to take it.



Oddly enough, this was just a plot point on The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, currently streaming on Netflix. Netflix: it’s where the party’s at!

…

There, now I’m going to start getting paid for these posts… right?



Yeah, sure, we already crammed one random demon in there. I’m sure he can take a whole damn universe.



Uh… this is some seriously mangled translation here, but I think he’s trying to point out how Lord Blazer was a giant disaster, and he’s trapped in Ashley…



So the universe should be able to be trapped in the same way.



But the problem is that Ashley is kind of an accidental case. If you recall, everyone else that got “possessed” by Lord Blazer transformed into a monster creature, so Ashley is special (helped along by the spirit of the Sword Magess and her magical sword).



Aw, my dude, you missed Kanon’s whole special dungeon. That won’t help!



What are you up to, Irving?



Oh f$^&, it’s this scene.



So, uh… this is up for interpretation, but I’m going to go ahead and throw out the worst interpretation of what is happening here, as it seems to be heavily implied to be the reality of the situation. And, to be clear, I mean “worst” as in “Irving is the worst person ever.”



Go back and check, but Altaecia, Irving’s twin sister, has done practically nothing up to this point. She stood around being sad with Ashley’s girlfriend at the start of Disc 2, and, other than that, she’s mostly just been chilling in the background (and literally the kitchen).



However, it seems she knows about Irving’s general… everything.



Though she seems to have a little more a conscience.



It’s silly little sprites, but this blocking is important. Altaecia backs away from Irving…



And Irving is pressing the situation.



That’s never a good phrase!



You can’t spell “anime” without “incest”.



Take a bow, Altaecia, you’re going over the borderline and getting into the groove.



Yep, just go ahead and press her up against the bed.



And Altaecia… is into it.



So, yeah, the basic implication here? Irving is planning to straight up impregnate his twin sister, and the fetus will then “capture” the rogue universe. Logically, the biological merging of two people with the blood of the Sword Magess mixed with a little “demon” summoning should be able to deposit the Kuiper Belt straight into Altaecia’s womb, and then we’re going to go ahead and have a boss fight that is part abortion.

Holy shit, Wild Arms 2.



Holy shit.



Dude. Dude I cannot even look at you right now.



“Does it involve incest? No? Not interested.”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Ashley, to his credit, suggests basically what Irving thought of a scene ago (give or take the rape), and Irving goes ahead and ignores him.



World’s going to end! Seems important!



“I need you guys out of the house.”



“Just get the hell out of here! Do some sidequests! I don’t care!”



You just keep telling yourself that, buddy.



Okay, we have to go explore a random “dungeon” by Halmetz, but we’re going to play with some statuary first.



Well, actually, first we’re going to check on Altaecia, who is still chilling in the kitchen being ominous.



Okay, now back to the statues. Marina has been staying at the chateau since the kidnapping/bomb incident.



There were three completely optional statues we picked up back in Tim’s guardian dungeon way back near the start of disc 2. You can return and grab them any time you’d like, but once an appropriate statue is in your inventory, talk to the appropriate person from this point on and…



Light show!



D’aww, it’s baby Ashley and Marina.



Hey, lil’ Marina. You seen big Marina around?



I guess these two have known each other for a long time. How long has Ashley been renting that room?



So, basically Marina has always wanted an ordinary life, and her boyfriend is a mercenary that can transform into some kind of robot lizard monster.



It… strains the relationship.



Looooooove hurts.



“Can’t we just be boring!?”



“Is Ashley going to acknowledge that I’m standing right here?”



“If time didn’t move forward, I’d never get enough punches to earn my free sub from Subway!”



“Free subs! Dammit, Marina, I am really hungry, and I wasn’t expecting to wind up in your mind right now.”



“I didn’t actually say that, but sure.”



If Marina bursts into song, I am all in.



Hope good! Stasis bad!



COMMENCE HUG ANIMATION



Okay, fine, just hold hands.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Wake up, Dragon Statue.



Zephyr is the Guardian of Hope and is one of the sacred trinity (or quartet) that appears in many Wild Arms games. Zephyr/Hope is traditionally held as the highest of the high, and is often directly associated with the main character of the game du jour.



Aaaand we’re good. Marina has an epiphany regarding love and hope for a better future where Ashley isn’t just monster chow, and we get a new guardian. Not bad!



Let’s talk about our newest Guardian. Zephyr is another golden medium, and that means he confers a ton of stat boosts to anyone, but can only be summoned by Tim via his Level 4 Force Ability. As you can see, his status as the franchise’s Bahamut means that his summons might be biting on the ol’ Final Fantasy 7 dragon summons a little hard. Zephyr also grants Tim the Apocalypse spell, which, like Zephyr’s summon attack, does massive all-elemental damage to all opponents (if a monster has an elemental weakness, it hits it). Unfortunately, it requires 99 FP, and maintaining 99 FP (and not using it all on something that is 100 FP) is rare. However, Zephyr’s skill (usable by anyone that has Zephyr equipped) will instantly charge 25 FP… which isn’t a bad way to spend a round for any character.

Long story short: you can’t go wrong with Zephyr.



Now we’re going to teleport over to Baskar Village…



And stick Tim in the lead for no particular reason.



Colette, never change.



Aw, Colette and Tim in the flower field redux.



You might have an idea where this is going if you’ve experienced any fiction in any medium ever.



D’awww, again.



Colette is frightened and happy and… can we just skip to the obvious here?



“I like having you around.”



“And sacrifices, which come up surprisingly often in our line of work.”



… translation notes?



“It saved me when I was being judged by an uncaring god!”



“It’s something to do.”



Yeah… “like”.



Yep, Goddess of Love, checking in.



Raftina is our second high guardian of the sacred trinity (or quartet). Feel the power of love!



And now Colette is back to worrying about every damned thing.



First, we’ll talk about Raftina, the Guardian of Love. What do we have here… Ah, yes, her very confusing summon (what is going on there?) will either kill all your opponents (rare) or heal the whole party (consolation prize). She confers the skill Invincible, which will make the user (and only the user) invincible for the entire turn. This can potentially come in handy, but, in general, if it’s the only thing keeping you alive, you’re just going to die on your next turn anyway. But it can come in handy on some of the super bosses and their initial onslaughts. She also allows Tim to learn Full Heal, which will restore a character’s entire HP pool, but can only be used on one character at a time. It’s rare that you need that much of a fill up, but it is good to have handy.

And now let’s talk about Tim Rhymeless. Tim certainly had the furthest path to travel of any Wild Arms 2 character, as he started out as a random NPC child that was robbed by a kitten, and eventually became a champion of the gods with a cute lil’ girlfriend and everything. Was it worth it? Overall, Tim does have an interesting journey from “victim” to “proactive protagonist”, and the mercurial way the plotting pulls this off is fairly impressive for an older JRPG. Tim goes from child to teenager (“adult” sounds like a stretch) before our very eyes, and, while JRPGs require a certain level of bombast for literally everything everyone does, it feels measured, natural, and earned. Tim gets his own little story about growing up, finding his place in the world, denying the “old ways”, and maybe even falling in love.

Good job, Tim! Good job, Wild Arms 2!



Last stop on our quest to rid us of these awful statues: T’Bok Village.



Merrill is a little less cheery today.



Hey, Brad’s addled wartime buddy!



Things are going well, I see.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

But the statue of a lion breaks, and here we are in the brainspace or whatever.



This is, like, your one chance to speak, Billy!



Brad has sure learned a lot about heroics over the course of this game.



There it is! Welcome back, Billy!



Billy, I’ve moved on. I’m thinking about becoming an accountant.



No more heroes, because oops, all heroes.



Brad is more or less letting his friend Billy know that he’s learned his lessons.



And Billy is, uh, cool with it.



Aw, they’re best friends. They know each other so well.



Brad thinks heroes are the real heroes. … Wait.



Being a hero is the real courage! …. Look, I’m getting tired of seeing the word “hero”.



And, yes, all the heroes in ARMS are heroes, too. Remember that time we failed to save the world?



Thanks, Billy.



D’awwwwwww.



Brad is really into his new(ish) philosophy.



And now it’s time for a lion to wake up.



Justine, the third high summon. Courage is key!



Unfortunately, Billy does not remain lucid. As a result, you could interpret Brad’s “Courage Dream” as a conversation he was having with an imaginary Billy… but the other pairs involved in guardian awakening impacted both people, so that’s kind of a cynical reading. Regardless, the horrors of war are not going to be quickly healed with Billy.



So, new Guardian that just happens to be a transforming robot for some reason. I cannot believe every LP I do involves a transforming robot summon, but here we are. Justine Attack is a summon that deals non-elemental damage to all foes, and teaches Tim Bold Lance, which deals non-elemental damage to one foe for 80 FP. His custom command is Branch Zap, which makes your traditional “fight” command hit all opponents. It’s useful if one character has an absurd attack stat, and you want to spread that damage around. Overall, of the three high summons, Justine is the least-abusable/essential… but being a transforming robot does count for a lot.

And now for Brad Evans.

Ultimately, at the core of the Brad Evans character is the hoary old trope of the “mentor” character that is meant to offer sage advice to the new generation of heroes, and then heroically sacrifice himself in a duel with Darth Vader. And he did that! But he got better/a rail gun. And, since he decided to stick around, he managed to pick up a few lessons of his own on the nature of heroism that informed his decisions earlier in life. And that’s great! The problem with the wise mentor trope is that it presents a man (it’s always a man for some reason) that might be a little sad about a difficult past, but is otherwise past learning anything new aside from “maybe the kids are alright”. Brad actually has some growing to do over this story, and, considering he’s coded as a grizzled old war veteran, that’s a pretty neat trick. Does his story go anywhere? Well, the whole “hero is a word given to people” thing seems to be a central theme of the story itself, so it’s debatable on whether not Brad is really bringing anything new to the table, but tying a character directly into the themes of the story is never a bad thing.

Also, you may have noticed that the other statue scenes all occur between “couple” pairs. Ashley and his girlfriend. Tim and his girlfriend. Brad and his boyfriend? A lot of people have taken this scene and Brad’s complete romantic disinterest in any other character as proof that Brad is gay, and Billy and Brad had a very close relationship. Sony of Japan apparently stepped in and outright stated that Brad is straight, but we all know that authors died a long time ago. There’s really nothing contradicting a homosexual reading of Brad and Billy, and considering the dialogue in this scene alone, it seems fairly likely. And, oh yeah, there’s that part where Billy nearly died just to save Brad…



Anyway, statues shattered, back to the mission: Halmetz is that town that was completely kidnapped by Odessa back when Ashley first unlocked his Knight powers, and now near there…



Is a big pile of Fiery Wreckage. What’s that all about? Find out next time!

Next time on Wild Arms 2: The whole damn reason I started this Let’s Play.

Couple notes:

A [shining] trapezohedron (in Lovecraftian fiction) is a mystical gewgaw used to summon Nyarlathotep, or imprison him/other Elder gods depending on your variant of Cthuloid mythos.

The mecha form that Justine takes is heavily derived from the Yuusha-oh subset of giant robo anime, the translation of Yuusha-oh being "King of Heroes" or "Braves" depending on how literal you want to be. And the protags who pilot said mechs are all about courage, especially in the face of tragedy.

of Destruction?

So now Huey Lewis and the News are also involved?

That is pretty damn cool!

You know what else is cool...

Previously on Wild Arms 2: ARMS tried to halt and capture the encroaching parallel universe… but it didn’t work out. Irving sent the squad off to investigate some random monster sightings while he stayed home and worked on a plan B that is a horrifying version of Plan B.



So the first thing you might notice about Fiery Wreckage is that it is not, in fact, on fire. Considering the team is walking around completely unmolested, this appears to be Not Even Warm Wreckage.



Please do not jump off the Not Even Warm Wreckage, Ashley.



This area is very small, and, given the tiny space, it’s entirely likely you won’t even encounter a single random encounter.



Tools are necessary, though.



It appears there is some manner of canyon between the outside and inside areas of this “dungeon”. A good quake from Brad will at least open some doors.



And then mist cloaking with Tim will clear that canyon.



There are many doors leading into this area, and this door leads to… a familiar sword?



Oh! The Fiery Wreckage was a metaphor! That makes sense!



But here’s something that isn’t a metaphor.



Ghost or no, this battle is very physical, and a rather unpleasant “gotcha” for anyone exploring the area.



First of all, if you couldn’t tell from the tiles, this “Fiery Wreckage” is the remains of the Heimdal Gazzo, the floating Death Star once helmed by Odessa. And, as you might expect, this ghost is the spirit of Vinsfeld, leader of Odessa.



And, fun fact, this is a completely optional, completely hard-core boss battle. “Ghost” is back with a vengeance, and nearly all of his attacks do extremely massive damage and inflict a glut of status effects. In fact…



Ghost is so difficult, I totally wiped. Here’s a fun reminder: my ARMS is entirely max level (though, technically, not max stats).



So what’s a player to do? Well, you technically can survive this battle with a host of status effect preventing items, and maybe some skill (and luck) with properly defending and using things like the “Invincible” skill, or…



Tim knows TurnUndead, a skill learned from the Life guardian, and it straight away obliterates any undead foes. Does it work on this undead monster?



Why yes it does!



Yes, Ghost is one of the most difficult bosses in the game, but it can be defeated literally instantly by a skill Tim learns at the start of his tenure. You also have the option of using Marivel’s “Power Seal” skill, which will bind Ghost to only using physical attacks, and make the whole match a bit more manageable. Regardless of whether you go the hard way or the easy way, Ghost only leaves behind some EXP, cash, and a Full Carrot. While there are very few Full Carrots (an item that can instantly fill your force gauge) in Filgaia, this is arguably the worst reward from an optional boss in the game.

So I’m pretty sure the designers were well aware of how this optional battle could be over in an instant…



And that’s about it for any bosses, optional or otherwise, for this area.



We don’t even get to keep the sword? Oh well, at least we confirmed Vinsfeld is dead, and won’t be coming back to haunt any last minute plot swerves.



Back out into the wastelands to hit some other doors.



Maybe this entrance will be a little less homicidal.



Our goal for this area is to activate a number of damaged computer terminals and learn about The Day of Lavos.



Or… uh… Odessa’s war power, I guess.



You may not have noticed, but all the members of ARMS picked up their 2nd best equipment in their personally themed dungeons. But Ashley didn’t get a dungeon! So, as a consolation prize, Ashley now can obtain a full set of new equipment from this Fiery Wreckage. Here’s a shiny new musket.



“In the event of a crash landing from the stratosphere, any and all computer terminals will still work as intended, even if the entire ship is torn into pieces.”

CONTINUED NEXT POST

You’re more likely to encounter random monsters inside the wreckage, but they’re still pretty rare. Considering we came here investigating a monster outbreak, that’s fairly disappointing.



Randolph the Magic Key is truly the largest missed opportunity of this franchise.



Oh, hey, Ashley? Just in case you’re wondering, yes, you and all your OG ARMS buddies were used as guinea pigs. I realize you probably forgot they existed by now, but they’re still dead, and you still killed them, Ashley.



We haven’t found every last console in the place, though, so we have to explore a little more before the big reveal.



Here we are: one last “hidden” door outside.



Hmmm… that sounds interesting. Who are the nobility, hm?



Who cares? Treasure!



Okay, now we’ve seen all the terminals, let’s hit that on switch.



Detective Pikachu Brad ain’t.



So it’s decided to check over all the spare Odessa data to see if Vinsfeld had an inroad on how to save the world.



And if it doesn’t work out, it happens! What’s the worst that could happen from poring over the files of a malevolent organization?



Hm? What’s this?



Vinsfeld did mention getting money from a few mysterious sources back in a few cutscenes. I wonder who he was talking about…



Do we know anyone with enough money to fund a floating castle or mercenary organization?



Oh no! Irving! Irving was funding Odessa! Irving was funding ARMS and their hated enemy! What the hell!?



Kate always calls at the worst time…



“We’re all having crises here!”



“Kate put tinfoil in the microwave and now the entire third floor is covered in monster goop. It was a weird afternoon. What’s your issue?”



Oh, that could be a problem, too.



You’re the boss and you take one day off to shtup your twin sister and everybody freaks out.



Irving left a note! That’s very polite.



“Regrettable” = “Sins against nature, man, and God”



What I am saying is that you are a monster. Probably literally, soon enough.



“Though I did fund a terrorist organization and own a heavily armed, flying castle. I’d like to see someone make me pay anything.”



This… this is going to turn out to be literal somehow, isn’t it?

CONTINUED NEXT POST

So, without explaining a damn thing, Irving asks ARMS to travel to the center of the planet. Uh… thanks?



It’s been ten seconds, and Tim is already filling out his unemployment application.



Irving’s managerial style was pretty lacking anyway.



That’s a very impolite way of saying “don’t we have to save the world anyway?”



I’m getting Ashley a thesaurus for Zephyr’s Day this year.



So we just found out that ARMS, one way or another, was founded on a lie. And then the boss telling that lie skipped town with cryptic instructions that will hopefully maybe save the world. Do we believe the lie? Do we follow Irving’s “last orders”? Let’s take a night to figure that out.

Oh, and technically…

Wild Arms Mission #26
Investigate the mysterious source of monsters near Halmetz
Status: Success!
Notes: May or may not have incidentally discovered our entire lives are a lie.



So, under the creepy blue and purple sky that currently envelops Filgaia, everyone takes an evening off.



Brad decides to hang out with Billy and Merrill.



These scenes are scripted to occur both before or after the statue scenes from last update, so you get a bit of a rehash with Brad talking to Billy about how great his new friends are.



Brad still shows Billy a lot of warmth regardless.



“Probably because you’re the only person in town who doesn’t just feed him applesauce and try to look away the whole time.”



“You’ve been taking care of my dog and my boyfriend.”



Yeah, their relationship is subtext. Right.



SUBTEXT.



“Oh yeah, hey Brad? You remember your introductory vignette from 20 hours ago?”
“No.”



Merrill asks again if being a “hero” is something bad, and Brad says that being a hero is… neutral? It’s all in how you use it? Try not to get arrested for it, I guess.



Alby the Dog is not a fan of this whole “end of the world” vibe going around.



“Could you explain how you’re going to do that, Brad?”
“No. I have absolutely no idea at this point. Something about incest? It’s confusing…”



Brad is going to save the world for Billy. Billy would probably be happy with just being wheeled over to a new window…



And now for Lilka and Terry the Good Boy.



This is what happens when your not-boyfriend is an NPC coded to hang out at the entrance to town.



Just kiss, you weirdos!



“I just… uh… needed some chalk! Here it is! Whew.”



That’s basically the Bar Exam for wizards.



I’m assuming class sizes are down with everyone thinking the world is going to end.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Nerd.



“I want to watch you fail. It brings me pleasure.”



Was it the one that got her killed? Because you should avoid that class.



Terry, I don’t think anyone has ever referred to their own sister as a “dream girl” …. Okay, maybe Irving…



I was really concerned we might not finally learn how Lilka feels about her sister.



“Nobody even remembers your name, Sis.”



“I’m not you. But I can do what you do. But for me. It’s complicated!”



“Or we could go to a movie? Bowling? … Twister?”



JUST SHUT-UP AND GET MARRIED!



“Wh...Who would like Lilka?”
“That's true too. But remember, someday I'll be ‘a mighty fine woman’. I'll be sure to give you the honor of being dumped by me then.”

Score, Lilka.



No duh, Terry.



Lilka has been gone for… what… weeks? Months? She’s been away for ages with an elite mercenary group… but she’s still subject to the chore wheel.



Not exactly Casablanca…



Great reason to come back home. I’d let the world end to get out of dusting…



“Yeah, being stuck in � overhead perspective is rough.”



“I have a flying mecha dragon now, though, so that’s nice.”



“And if that doesn’t work out, I can probably summon a god to do that, too.”



Colette is a good girlfriend. She doesn’t make Tim clean a classroom, he only has to summon the very heavens themselves.



“Like the sky? I guess? I’m not great at metaphors.”



Please don’t take my sunshine away.



D’awww.



Kanon doesn’t have anyone, so she just hangs out on top of a water tower. Is Kanon Batman?



Kanon really missed out on having a Livejournal.



Look, you want to summon Vincent Valentine into this universe? Because that’s how you summon Vincent Valentine!



I think Kanon agrees with her cousin Irving? Or she doesn’t? I’m not great with poetry…

CONTINUED NEXT POST

Marivel doesn’t have anyone, either, but she decides to teach history to local children.



Of course, it’s a history written by the winners (Marivel).



Tony has questions! Like, where has he been for the last half of the game?



Children are stupid!



“We’re good at being lonely. Next question!”



Yes, being alone is lonely. Good call.



Do they? Weirdos.



Being alone is the new black!



D’awww.



“Is this how vampires work? I am genuinely asking!”



“And maybe immortal? That sounds okay, too.”



So, it appears that one thing Wild Arms 2 attempted but didn’t quite pull off is Marivel’s “age”. She’s initially presented as a super-smart, though weird, scientist. Then, she’s “revealed” to be a fairly na�ve young girl that incidentally wound up orphaned and never really had a chance to grow up. However, the inherent dichotomy there is never really explored in any great detail, so it’s kind of hard for a scene like this to land.



On one hand, it seems like this scene is supposed to show that Marivel, maturity wise, is pretty much on child Tony’s level, and isn’t the “mature Crimson Noble” she portrays herself as…



Unfortunately, given Marivel is presented as a complete adult for almost the entire rest of the game, in this situation, she just kinda comes off as a pedophile. Well, that sounds a bit harsh, but the whole encounter does seem a bit… off.



And the translation doesn’t help, either.



It’s supposed to be a sweet scene showing how Marivel doesn’t have to be lonely for the rest of eternity, but it probably could have been handled a tweak differently…



Anyway, time for a scene that leaves little to interpretation.



That’s usually how it works!



Like, for the entire rest of the game?



And we wouldn’t want that.



Words are hard. Any alternatives?



Gee, how could you express how you feel about your boyfriend?



And the camera pans up to the ceiling…



Is this…



Yes, I believe it is. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the most tasteful sex scene on the Playstation 1. Eat it, Xenogears.

CONTINUED NEXT POST

The morning after.



Ashley is back at command first thing in the morning. For some reason, he slept really well last night.



“Also, why did you fund a terrorist organization? That seems like a more important question.”



Okay! The final party is going to be Ashley and Lilka! I… think we can do this! Maybe!



Oh thank God.



We believe in our ruthless liar of a leader!



So, did these guys share their teleporting orb, or did they all walk back?



Well, the vampire might be able to fly…



Aw, and the anonymous support staff came back, too.



…. Wait, don’t they live here?



Long story short: we’re going to claim things got worse overnight, so now there are new monsters around the overworld.



This doesn’t really impact anything.



And we’re off!



Uh… to… where exactly? The middle of the planet or something?



So we’re not going to address the whole “Irving funding Odessa” thing? Okay.



And here we are. Technically, at this point we could head to the final dungeon and finish the game. Or we could explore the last of the bonus content. What to do… what to do…

Next time on Wild Arms: Liz & Ard Wars IV A New Hope

Hey, thematic juxtapositions are fun!

The villain of the story manipulates the social and familial bonds around him for his own benefit and ostensibly that of the world. The hero, on the other hand, forms and develops new bonds as he goes that strengthen him and his friends as they fight for the sake of the world. Then you can compare them against the past hero, who was isolated by the virtue of the power she obtained and whose strongest desire was to form the kind of bonds she never had a chance to (to the point where it summons a spirit doggy to be her hire-a-friend).

Uh... Maybe Fiery refers to its temperament and not its temperature?

You are not allowed to complain when I lift this wholesale for later analysis. That is a rule of the LP.

But seriously, yeah, the parallels are apparent and surprisingly subtle for an "old" JRPG.