LET'S STREAM BAD RATS SHOW - Secret of Nimh 3

Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Let's Stream Bad Rats Show!

Bad Rats Show is physics puzzle game created by Invent4 Entertainment, and released on Steam on July 20, 2016. Longtime users of Steam might recognize that date as the 7th anniversary of the release of the original Bad Rats. Was 2009 really so long ago? Would the me that existed then even recognize the me that exists now? What... what happened to us?

All the footage for this let's play is streamed live on my Hitbox Channel with SKYPE/DISCORD CREW onhand to make fun of me. I'll be announcing all streaming sessions in this thread and on my twitter, and I'm actually getting better about keeping up with the text chat! So if you wanna watch it live just hop in whenever I'm doing it! And if you wanna take it further and get into a part of SKYPE/DISCORD CREW just... I dunno... ask me nicely. It's cool.

YOUTUBE PLAYLIST

POLOUGE BONUS POST!
HOW THE FUCK DID BAD RATS GET A SEQUEL WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.

I could look you in the eye and unflinchingly claim that the blame falls squarely on the shoulders of Invent4 Entertainment. I mean they were the ones who developed and published this abomination! They wrote every line of code, textured every polygon, animated every character and recorded every sound effect! Their contributions to Bad Rats Show's existence are many, and when all is said and done, we will hold that that grim crucible, and demand they answer for their sins!

And they will simply respond "You told us to do it".

WE FORCED BAD RATS SHOW TO EXIST.

It's kind of incredible really! Bad Rats got a sequel not because people liked it, but because we hated it. We hated it so much that we all bought at least 10 copies and sent them to all of our friends with gift messages like HAHA "ENJOY" FUCKO, laboring under the delusion that "ironic" 99 cents wasn't the same as a "sincere" one.

Can we blame I4E for making Bad Rats show when we are the ones that turned their prior attempt into one of the highest selling games since the advent of digital distribution? What were they supposed to do, just ignore the fact that they were now the sole owners of a runaway success?

No.

It's our fault.

It's my fault.

WE GLEEFULLY DUG THIS GRAVE ONE CENT AT A TIME, NEVER REALIZING WE WERE THE ONES TO LIE IN IT


BE STILL IN THIS PIT. CLOSE YOUR EYES SO THEY CAN'T BETRAY YOUR COWARDICE.


I WAS BORN IN THIS HATEFUL PLACE. IT WAS DESTINY THAT I WOULD RETURN.


This is justice.

but youre already (un)dead!

The stream just kept shitting itself while I was watching, so I had to bail.

I just noticed the secret of nimh joke in the thread title.

In your skeleton frame beats the heart of an ice titan, BEAT. A lich cursed you many years ago, I presume...

Good news! Last night I actually managed knuckle down and resolve all those HORRIBLE STREAMING PROBLEMS I was having! I am now able to stream with only a 10 second delay, and minimal dropped frames!

I had to turn down the encoding bitrate to 900 to accomplish this, but it's FUCKING BAD RATS this shit would look awful in crystal-clear 4K HD at 5 million frames per second.

But yeah! I actually recorded some! and I can record more! BACK IN BUSINESS MOTHERFUCKER!

I also changed the first two posts in the thread from "STREAM'S STARTING" and "STREAM SUCKED" to things that actually resemble an LP intro. You're welcome.

PART 01

START OF DARKNESS
CHAPTER 1.1
NO ESCAPE
Fanboymaster - Patito

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

NOTES

• WE GOT VOICE ACTING NOW. Voice acting in games has a long history of being kind of terrible, but this helium chugging motherfucker is some next level shit.
• THIS GAME LOOKS LIKE BAD RATS. It's got a higher polygon count, (kinda looks like it was made in Unity?) but the hideous art, animation and backgrounds are unmistakable. This is Bad Rats to it's very core.
• THE LINEUP OF RATS IS ALL-NEW! Catholic Rat, Dhalsim Rat, Organized Crime Rat, Sacrilege Rat, Evel Knievel Rat and all the others I haven't looked at yet. They're all brand new creations for this game, meaning all my prior knowledge is useless. Well, almost all my prior knowledge, because...
• THE ONE RETURNING RAT IS THE ONE I WANTED THEM TO CUT THE MOST. Fucking Islamophobia Rat. Of course. Guess the one thing the devs couldn't stand to cut was racism.
• HOW THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN SUPPOSED TO USE FLU RAT. I figured he was the new version of Lung Rat, which would blow the ball around in the first game. But no! He blows himself around! I couldn't make this shit up!
• THE ORIGINAL SOLUTION WORKED. But I got high hopes that they'll start failing pretty soon.

STATS

ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURES:
NONE
TOTAL: 0

BEAT FLIPS HIS SHIT:
2:48
BEAT: And now Flu Rat will do the rest! Come on Flu Rat. Come on flu Rat... FLU RAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

3:19
BEAT: Does Flu Rat move itself back when he sneezes?!
FanboyMaster: Probably? It's a Bad Rat.
BEAT: OH MY GOD IT DOES! OH MY GOD IT DOES! OH MY GOD. OKAY.

TOTAL: 02

Yeah, it's probably in Unity, like 90% of the other dreck that manages to get Greenlit.

PART 02

GOD LET IT END
CHAPTER 1.2
TRAPPED IN A PRISON OF TIME
Fanboymaster - Patito

So hey that last video sure was short eh? This game must be a piece of Cake! I bet the second video is even shorter-

oh.

Oh no.

Please no.

NOTES

• I REALLY DON'T WANT TO MAKE EVERY MAP IT'S OWN VIDEO. In my mind a proper LP video should max out around 20 minutes in length, and should completely cover whatever areas are contained within them. Unfortunately this stream session wasn't THAT long, and the level that took me the longest was stuck right in the middle. So it goes.
• THAS A GOOD DRANK. Hi my name is BEAT and I'm an alcoholic.
• WHAT COUNTS AS AN INVALID POSITION IS VAUGE AT BEST. This game throws up big red X' all the time, but saw no problem with me clipping biker rat's head deep into the ceiling.
• THE NON-RAT OBJECTS ARE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN THE RATS. The fan doesn't blow, it just loops around like a drunken flying saucer.
• TALIBAN RAT IS NOW EVEN LESS PREDICTABLE THAN HE WAS IN OG BAD RATS So in the first game the amount of force he would give you was basically random, but the ball would at least mostly go upwards every time I hit him. I guess that's just too consistent for Bad Rats show, so now the explosion just sends it in whatever random direction it feels like.
• DISCO RAT IS JUST FUCKING USELESS. Like he's supposed to be a trampoline replacement but he's just godawful at it. Why I kept trying to use him I'll never know.
• YOGA RAT'S PULL ON THE BALL IS SO SLIGHT IT MAY AS WELL NOT EXIST. like think the gentlest of spring breezes imperceptibly kissing a butterfly's wings.
• SACRILEGE RAT ON THE OTHER HAND GIVES OFF AN IMPENETRABLE FORCE FIELD. The Christian Messiah is a lot of things to a lot of people. To at least one game dev he's that lady in the Fantastic 4.
• THE BALLOONS ARE STILL GODAWFUL. Nice to know that some things never change.
• THE ROCKET HAD A TIMER OPTIONS, BUT IT VANISHED ONCE IT WAS ATTACHED TO A RAT. Given that the ONLY way rocket rat was useful in the first game was by futzing with the timer forever, that's a pretty massive fucking oversight! Well whatever, I'm sure they'll fix that game-critical glitch any day now.
• AFTER 15 AGONIZING MINUTES, THE DAY IS SAVED BY POPE RAT'S RIDICULOUS LINE-OF-SIGHT MECHANICS. So Pope rat has the power to draw the ball towards him. I figured it was based on how far away he was, but it's actually whether or not there's a clear line of ANY LENGTH between him and the ball! From that point it was a simple matter of forcing a machine gunner to rubber band it around until it randomly hit the goal and I fucking HATE that these are real words that I'm writing.
• FUCK THE DEV SOLUTION. I am disgusted and I'm right to be disgusted because it's disgusting.

STATS

ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURES:
NONE BUT GOD, HOW DISGUSTING.
TOTAL: 0

BEAT FLIPS HIS SHIT:
01:50
BEAT: Pick up the fan. Pick up the fan. PICK UP THE FAN YOU FUCKER!

15:55
Patito: That's fucking rediculous.
BEAT: What- what am I supposed to do now?! [...] OHHHHOOO MY GOD.
FanboyMaster: You were surprised when you shouldn't have been.
BEAT: I WANTED TO BE SURPRISED, DAMMIT.

TOTAL: 04

So odious is sin to God that there can be no end to its just punishment.

But I bet they didn't test 'em!

So that's why he hates wizards so much. Suddenly it all makes sense.

Torn between posting the 4-or-5 minutes of footage from Stream 1 on it's own today, and holding off until I record more (hopefully tonight) so I can combine it with stream 2 footage for a longer video.

Anyone have any sort of opinion on that?
CHECK THE SECOND POST JACKASS.

PART 03

SAVE SCUM
CHAPTER 1.3, TWICE
RIOTERS
Fanboymaster - Patito - MarsDragon

God that last level took forever. I wonder how bad this one will be-DONE. That was quick! Let's end the stream right there, on a nice high note!

***TWO DAYS LATER***

Okay, back to Bad Rats! Let me just open up my save file and we can dive right into Chapter 1.4!

Or... Chapter 1.3?

NOTES

• TO THE UNTRAINED EYE, THE PHYSICS MIGHT ALMOST SEEM CONSISTENT! It's possible that this game is slightly less random than it's predecessor but that's really, REALLY not saying much. There were some truly amazing examples of non-physics in the failed first stream attempt so I'm betting everything is going to fall apart sooner rather than later. Some of the footage from that nightmare might have turned out okay. If I can salvage any of it, I'll make a bonus video or something.
• I'M NOTICING A TREND OF PLACED RATS JUST SORT OF FALLING OVER. Karate Kid Rat just sorta falls on his side every other kick and I remember Disco rat having similar problems in the prior video. Every time he goes completely flat on the ground he just sorta glitches back upright, so I guess the game has some way to tell if he's fallen over. Still though.
• CHAPTER 1.3 GETS SOLVED AWFULLY QUICK. Like by the four minute mark It's already done. Tells me I unlocked chapter 2 and everything. So why then does the video keep going for 5 more minutes? Well that's because...
• THE GAME DOES NOT SAVE WHEN YOU FINISH A LEVEL! Apparently it saves your unlocking progress when you start the next level! So when I kicked off my second stream session, it was still waiting for me to finish 1.3!
• IT DID, HOWEVER, SAVE THE EXACT LOCATIONS OF ALL MY PLACED RATS. Which confused the hell out of me initially, because I just went straight to the toolbox, saw a bunch of rats missing, and assumed the game somehow forgot what difficulty setting it was on. But seriously, how the fuck does that work?! Who the hell codes a game to remember the exact coordinates of every player-placed object, but not to remember which levels have been completed?!
• ON MY SECOND ATTEMPT, I HAD A LOT OF TROUBLE GETTING THE BALL OUT OF IT'S STARTING POSITION. Hockey Rat just stared at the ball like an idiot, and Kung Fu rat just bounced the ball off the wall until long after every other rat on the map had died. Quality Rats, guys. Quality Rats.
• I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW FLU RAT WORKS. You're supposed to face him away from the direction you want him to go, and he'll shoot backwards, pushing the ball and everything else around as he moves. So that's something.

STATS

ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURES:
NONE
TOTAL: 0

BEAT FLIPS HIS SHIT:
03:25
BEAT: The cat escaped! The cat lived! Oh- AND THEN HE GETS... WOW. WOOOOW. WELL THEY SURPRISED ME! I'LL GIVE THAT TO EM!

07:20
BEAT: OH WHAT NOW IT'S BEING CONSISTENT?!
FanboyMaster: It is consistent only when it would be stupid.

TOTAL: 06

STREAM 2 STARTS NOW NERDS.
http://www.hitbox.tv/beathatesall

YOU MISSED IT.

HOOO BOY THAT WAS A FUCKING TRIP.

SO OKAY HERE'S WHAT'S UP.

I went back to my 3rd update post and replaced the video with a new one that combines the footage from Streams 1 & 2. I also re-wrote the whole thing. Sorry if that's confusing, but this was one of those cases where it was really the only way to demonstrate just how terribly broken this game really is.

YEAH IT'S MORE OF THIS BULLSHIT.
http://www.hitbox.tv/beathatesall

So am I correct in understanding you weren't actually able to stream the game because it did something weird with your mouse cursor that wasn't implemented correctly? (Or is that skeleton hand cursor like your default cursor choice because I want to believe it is)

EDIT: OK, I checked another video on youtube and, yep, that skeleton cursor is a custom thing done by the game, so of course it doesn't work right

however

BEAT

I'm just saying man

PART 04

IT KEEPS HAPPENING
CHAPTER 1.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4.4
LOOPERS
Fanboymaster - MarsDragon

Oh hey this one's easy! I'll just solve it real quick and- Oh hey this one's easy! I'll just solve it real quick and- Oh hey this one's easy! I'll just solve it real qųick̵ a̸nd̨-͟ O͝h͘ ̨h̨e͟y ̷th̛i̵s͞ one'͢s e͟asy͡ Į'̨͞l̷l͜ ̡ j̧u̶͢s̕͢͏t s͘o͝lv͝ȩ̕͟ ̀͜͟i҉҉t ̀ r̴̀̀ea͘l̴ q҉uìck̵ an͡d̡̧-̸ O̶̕͏͠h̶̴̢̕ ̢̛ h̸̛e͏̡́y̨̕͜ th͟͞i̵̢͝s̴̛̀҉͟ oń͘͜e̢̢'̵̨̨̛̀s̴̡͢͠ ̸̕͘͟҉ę̵͜͡a̷͜͠s̸̨̛͟͟ỳ̸̛͠!̢ ̧̧͠͞ I̵̢͡'̴̛҉͏l҉̛́͝l̴̵͡ j̵̛̀́͢u̢̧͘͜͝s̶͘͜t̴̛̀͜ s̢o̡͘l͘͜v́ę̡̀͡ į̢̕t̢͢͟ ̵͜͠ŕ̀è̸͡a̸̸̡̛͝l͏̧ q̛́u̷͘͜í̵̵c͢͟͝k̴̡͡͡͞ ̴͘a̛͡҉̀n̷̶̛͘͞d҉͞-̛̛̀͘͟ Ｋ̸̶̀͞Ｉ̀͢҉Ｌ̸̨̨́Ｌ̧ ͏̴Ｍ͏̡̛̛́Ｅ̴̨̀͞

NOTES

• SHOUT OUTS TO TRYNANT AND TRAR IN THE HITBOX CHAT! Thanks for showing up dudes! Sorry about what you had to witness!
• CHAPTER 1.4 IS HONESTLY PRETTY EASY EASY. Any rat on top to push it to the first gap. Any rat in the middle to get it to the second. Something to block it from the pit, Pope to take it home. Doesn't get much easier than that.
• THAT SAID IT STILL TOOK UNFORGIVABLY LONG TO SOLVE THE FIRST TIME. You know, when I started this series, I was actually worried that this game didn't have the complete disregard for consistency it's predecessor did. Hahah! Way to lay THAT fear to rest, eh?!
• AMAZINGLY, IT'S AFTER I SOLVE THE LEVEL THAT EVERYTHING GOES STRAIGHT TO HELL. And I'm not even talking about the totally tasteless ending animation of a nuclear apocalypse! I'm talking about the fact that...
• FOR SOME FUCKING REASON, HITTING "SHOW ORIGINAL SOLUTION ON CHAPTER 1.4 JUST DUMPS YOU RIGHT BACK INTO THE LEVEL. I couldn't make this shit up. Bad Rats Show is so amazingly shoddy, even basic level end options don't consistently work.
• AT FIRST I FOOLISHLY BELIEVED THAT MY SOLUTION WAS JUST IDENTICAL TO THE DEVS, AND THAT EVERYTHING WAS FINE. As you watch the video, you can see my mirthful joy turn to confusion, turn to abject horror as the terrible realization creeps in.
• SO I HAD TO RUN THE SOLUTION UNTIL IT WORKED AGAIN! And when it went through I thought "Well maybe that was just a weird fluke and this time I can see the dev solution! It wasn't a fluke.
• THEN THE GAME STARTS SUFFERING FROM THE WORST SLOWDOWN I'VE EVER SEEN. Like seriously not even half speed. So that means I had to quit the game. And since It STILL hadn't unlocked the next level, that meant I needed to solve the puzzle AGAIN!
• I DARED TO HOPE THAT MY RESETTING THE GAME WOULD FIX THE ORIGINAL SOLUTION RESET BUG. It didn't. Of course it didn't. I have become truly insane: doing the same thing again and again, and expecting different results each time.
• "I'M GONNA DO SOME SERIOUS EDITING ON THIS ONE." BEAT LIES. BEAT LIES.

STATS

ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURES:
CHAPTER 1.4 (EVEN THO WE NEVER SAW IT, FAILURE TO FUCKING LOAD IS STILL FAILURE)
TOTAL: 1

BEAT FLIPS HIS SHIT:
03:13
BEAT: OYEAH SEE! SEE! THAT TIME OHHHHHHHHHH WAIT WAIT WAIT Dammit.

06:04
BEAT: IT DIDN'T REGISTER ME FINISHING IT! SHIT!
MarsDragon: Jesus!

12:25
FanboyMaster: You've fallen for the same trick so many times!
BEAT: I WANT TO BELIEVE DAMMIT!

TOTAL: 09

For what it's worth, the game's hint does suggest that the solution that you came up with was the same as the developer's (a combination of flu rat, mafia rat, and pope rat -- though as fanboymaster points out, what else are you going to use), so I think it is absolutely fair to call what we saw a true original solution failure.

Congratulations, BEAT! You are now thinking like the Bad Rats developers!

...

If you, for god knows what reason, want to make sure that the game is just copying whatever you put down when you hit that button, you could try implementing this solution and seeing what happens when the level ends:

I am loving this stream. If I had internet at any other time than when I was at work I'd totally join the stream.

PART 05

UPS AND DOWNS
CHAPTER 1.5 - CHAPTER 1.6...?
AND ALL AROUNDS
Fanboymaster - MarsDragon

The trajectory of this game is now a Sine Wave. I suffered on 1.4, so 1.5 is a breeze!

And then 1.6 is... well... 1.6.

NOTES

• HOCKEY RAT IS IMPRESSIVELY USELESS. If you put him next to the ball, he'll seriously just stand there staring at it doing nothing. I've seen him hit the ball in earlier videos when it rolls into him, so I guess he'll only effect the ball if it's already in motion? Sure that sounds right, whatever.
• WE MOSTLY IGNORE 1.5 IN FAVOR OF TALKING ABOUT BOOKS WE READ AS KIDS. It goes by nice and quick, so who cares. Oh man, you guys remember Ralph S. Mouse? The S stands for Smart!
• SADLY, WE ARE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO IGNORE 1.5'S DEATH ANIMATION. Whoever animated that was seriously fucked up. Like, how is that even a joke?
• WE GET OUR FIRST CLASSIC ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURE! I just knew you had it in you, Bad Rats Show! I just knew it!
• IF 1.5 WAS THERE TO BUILD ME BACK UP, 1.6 EXISTS TO BREAK ME BACK DOWN. This game gives hints of mercy just to make the pain it will put you through moments later worse. I mean just LOOK at that shit. How would you solve it? how would anyone?
• I LEARN A LOT FROM MY HORRIBLE FAILED ATTEMPTS THOUGH! I learn that Football rat has trouble with any incline, but can still push Yoga Rat around! I learn that Pope Rat's Line of sight can be broken by other rats! I also learn that hope is dead, and that all is suffering and loss!
• DESPITE THERE BEING NO VISIBLE TIMER, THE TIME LIMIT FROM OG BAD RATS IS STILL IN EFFECT. We get a warning after what feels like centuries of fruitless fucking around that only 5 minutes remain. Does this mean that I don't actually finish 1.6 due to the time limit?! Haha no. Instead...
• A GAME CRASH MERCIFULLY ENDS MY SUFFERING. I'm not kidding when I say the game's crash message is the most insufferably smarmy thing ever written. "Ooops! The game crashed! It would be great if you could send this crash folder to the dev!" Fuck You Invent 4 Entertainment, I don't owe you shit. And Fuck YOU Chapter 1.6, you haven't won, you just haven't lost yet.

STATS

ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURES:
CHAPTER 1.5
TOTAL: 2

BEAT FLIPS HIS SHIT:
05:27
FanboyMaster: Let's see if [1.5's original solution] works.
BEAT: IT DOESN'T'! OH I'M SO HAPPY! OUR FIRST ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURE! YES! I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS! NEXT MAP! SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS! I WAS DEARLY HOPING FOR THAT TO HAPPEN AND THEN IT HAPPENED! OH IT'S A GOOD DAY TO BE ALIVE!

09:20
MarsDragon: This is gonna go places.
FanboyMaster: This looks like violent assault!
BEAT: YES YES YES! YES SHOVE! SHOVE SHOVE! YES!!
FanboyMaster: I hate you.

17:05
BEAT: [clearly dying inside] And you know what?! I'm okay with this! I need a drink. And I need to go hug my wife, and tell her how thankful I am that I get to live with her!

TOTAL: 12

Yeah 1.4 is one of those levels where pretty much any conceivable solution would work after a few re-runs. Whatever the dev solution was supposed to be, I'm pretty confident nothing about it would be that shocking.
You misunderstand sir. The game didn't copy my item placement when trying to bring up the developer solution. It re-started the level. The little fast forward button that appears on every other dev solution that'll take you to the next level is nowhere to be seen.
Thanks! I hope you continue to enjoy it!

PART 06

WAR OF ATTRITION
MORE CHAPTER 1.6
THROW IT ALL IN
Fanboymaster - MarsDragon

In my original Bad Rats LP, there was a single notable level that took me forever to solve. I hated that level. I cursed that level. I swore up and down that was the worst that Bad Rats could possibly get.

How naive I was back then.

NOTES

• I EDITED THE CRAP OUT OF THE FIRST FEW MINUTES OF THIS VIDEO. Figured that you guys following this trainwreck shouldn't have to suffer through any more of 1.6 than absolutely necessary.
• THEN SUDDENLY THE CUTS DISAPPEAR ENTIRELY AND THE REST OF THE VIDEO IS UNALTERED ORIGINAL FOOTAGE. This is partially because that's where things hit fever pitch, meaning less boring crap for me to remove, and partially because that's the point where I got fucking sick of fighting with youtube editor.
• POPE RAT IS STILL BOTH OP AND TERRIBLE. I tried to mitigate his terribleness somewhat by sticking a skateboard underneath him, so he could be a cool pope. Unfortunately...
• THE SKATEBOARD DOESN'T MOVE NEARLY AS MUCH AS I HOPED IT WOULD. Pope rat always summons the ball to himself so fast it knocks him over, so I figured if he did that on wheels it would send him careening off into the distance. But when the ball hits him, he doesn't even budge! Re-watching the video for this write up, it seems the skateboard only moves when something hits the board itself, not whatever's riding on it. Because that's how physics works.
• THE GAME CRASHES AGAIN AND SOMETHING SNAPS INSIDE MY MIND. Till that point, I'd just been sort of leisurely placing random shit on the map, trying to figure things out. after the crash my strategy changes: I'm going to throw everything I possibly can at this map until it breaks under the pressure.
• WE GET SO FUCKING CLOSE AROUND 5:30. Obviously it's a false hope, I mean the video continues for 9 more minutes. Still, I want to emphasize how telling it is that I suddenly got so much closer to victory by just filling the screen with bullets and explosions.
• DRIVEN ONWARDS BY THAT GLIMMER OF HOPE, I RUN TINY VARIATIONS ON WHAT ALMOST WORKED AGAIN AND AGAIN. To distract ourselves from the mess of violent sorrow onscreen, I talk with Fanboy and Mars about the Catholic Church's official position on intelligent Extraterrestrial life. Yeah they actually have one! It's pretty reasonable! That's so cool to me.
• THE ADDITION OF YOGA RAT IS A SIGN THAT THINGS ARE NOW COMPLETELY OUT OF HAND. I'm like like yeah no, fuck it. Just throw him in too. Why the fuck not.
• REMOVING THE SKATEBOARD WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA. Like everything in Bad Rats, the tiniest dumbest changes always have the most terrible unforseen outcomes. In this case the tiny bit of height that the Skateboard gave Pope rat was the the entire reason for most of the ball's course, and getting rid of it sets us back immensely. Not the mobility, the height. This mother fucking game.
• ONLY 30 CHANCES REMAINING! Yeah, apparently there's an attempt counter limiting the number of times you can run a stage. Like the timer that showed up in the last video, it's completely unseen so you have no idea how close you are to the limit until the game stops everything to whine at you. Given just how much I hammered the play button in this level, the cutoff number must be crazy generous. Makes you wonder why they even bothered, really.
• WHEN I FINALLY SOLVE IT, THE ENDING ANIMATION ROBS ME OF ALL JOY. That's not how a bazooka works you horrible fucking announcer bastard holy shit I hate you so fucking much.
• THE ORIGINAL SOLUTION IS A CRIME AND WHOEVER DESIGNED IT IS A CRIMINAL. How the FUCK did they expect us to come to that conclusion, and furthermore how did it not fail? I mean, I know I'm playing on all-rats hard mode but fucking seriously?

STATS

ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURES:
NONE
TOTAL: 2

BEAT GETS DEEPLY OFFENDED:
04:00
FanboyMaster: The original Bad Rats turned you into a man.
BEAT: No. No. No. No. You take that back. You take that back right fucking now.

TOTAL: 01

BEAT FLIPS HIS SHIT:
04:52
BEAT: Okay that was a mess, but I'm willing to bet this time it'll work for some reason.
FanboyMaster: This time... will be different!
BEAT: Look all I know is that like- THIS TIME... WILL BE DIFFERENT!!
FanboyMaster: IT'S NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL!!
BOTH: IS IT STEVE!?!

12:52
FanboyMaster: No, Yoga Rat's entire purpose is to-
BEAT: WAIT NO IT WORKED! I DID IT! [near tears] I DID IT!!
Marsdragon: What.
Fanboy: I'm so unhappy. This is two videos! Two videos of this awful thing!

14:02
BEAT: It does have an original solution here, Okay, so Yogi Rat Yogas it and and then... Wait Wait Wait... No. No. No no you have got to be kidding me! You've- NO. NO! NO! I'M OFFENDED!

TOTAL: 15

PART 07

RATS V MOUSE
CHAPTER 1.7
POINTERS
Fanboymaster - MarsDragon - Caliscrub

After the horrible nightmare that was 1.6, it's kinda nice to get a level that's stupid easy!

Too bad it absolutely refuses to let me finish it.

NOTES

• THE GAME REALLY WANTS YOU TO DO SOME CRAZY MID-AIR COLLISION SHIT. Like, timing Motorcycle rat JUUUUST SO to collide with the ball in midair or something. It's just the worst idea ever.
• BALLOON + POPE RAT = MAGICAL SPACE ADVENTURES. Anytime they hit anything on their slow trip up, they wig out, go sideways and try to escape the game. They never quite manage to get all the way out, but you know they're making progress, because you can see Motorcycle Rat sail right in front of em in blatant disregard of the whole "2D" thing.
• MAFIA RAT FUCKING OBLITERATES THE LEVEL. The second I replace Motorcycle Rat with him, I win. Piece of cake. So let's just power through yet another offensive and stupid animation so we can click on show original solution-
• THEN THE GAME CRASHES. So I gotta run it again. But hey, no big deal, my solution's still in place and still works just fine! So let's just click on that show original solution button and wait what the fuck.
• THEN THE IN-GAME CURSOR STOPS WORKING. Yeah. It just sits there on the screen totally ignoring my mouse movements and clicks. "Screw it!" I shout, "I'll Try again a few nights from now!"
• A FEW NIGHTS LATER, THE GAME CRASHES AGAIN. We didn't even make it 30 seconds into the level this time! So we reset and do it again! And lo and behold, this time we actually get to see the (incredibly stupid) original solution! Wow what a terrible original solution! So let's just click next and oh my god you have got to be kidding me.
• THE IN-GAME CURSOR STOPS WORKING AGAIN. Wow seriously? Alright fine, whatever. It's not like I've got any pressing plans this evening.
• WHEN I RELOAD, THE GAME HAS THE DEV SOLUTION IN PLACE INSTEAD OF MY OWN. Guess it got confused somehow. But whatever, we solve the level in nothing flat and OH YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME.
• THE IN-GAME CURSOR STOPS WORKING AGAIN AGAIN. HOLY FUCKING SHIT GAME WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! FUCK IT! STREAM OVER! I'LL COME BACK LATER!
• WHEN WE RETURN A FEW NIGHTS LATER, THE ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILS. The original solution that the game is now auto-loading into the level, as though it were my solution in-progress. Add another number to that counter and re-run it so we can solve the level and get a move on. Betcha can't guess what happens next!
• THE IN-GAME CURSOR STOPS WORKING AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN. And that's why from this point forward, whenever the game breaks after I've beaten a level, I'm just gonna password skip to the next one. Congratulations Bad Rats Show, you have forced my hand. I hope you're proud of yourself.

STATS

ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURES:
CHAPTER 1.7 (LIKE ONCE BUT FUCK YOU IT COUNTS.)
TOTAL: 3

BEAT FLIPS HIS SHIT:
03:25
BEAT: Like it obviously wants this one to be the motorcycle one? But no! Screw that! I have my own solution, and it's called FUCKING SHOOTING IT UNTIL IT DIES.

04:54
BEAT: THE GAME CRASHED! THE GAME CRASHED! AND I HADN'T HAD A CHANCE TO HIT NEXT YET! I GOTTA DO IT AGAIN! I GOTTA DO IT AGAIN!

TOTAL: 17

RESETS: 6

"FanboyMaster We're all going to hell."*

No. We're already in hell.

*From a previous video.

PART 08

INSTANT WIN
CHAPTER 1.8
JUBILANT SUPPORTERS.
Fanboymaster - MarsDragon - Caliscrub

I don't like to brag but I'm pretty much the best there ever was at video game.

NOTES

• I'M USING PASSWORDS NOW BECAUSE THE GAME SUCKS. Don't look at me like that. You all saw what happened on 1.7. This is literally the only way I can get to the next level.
• HEY SPEAKING OF 1.7… NO! NOT YOU! YOU'RE DEAD! I KILLED YOU! It may appear as though I simply typed the wrong password. I'd like to believe that too. But I can't shake the feeling in the pit of my gut that some terrible bad rats force made me type that. I have seen such darkness.
• THEN I SOLVE 1.8 IMMEDIATELY. First attempt, one and done. That was easy! Haha, cat wash. Does the original solution work? No of course not. MOVIN RIGHT ALONG.

STATS

ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURES:
CHAPTER 1.8
TOTAL: 4

BEAT FLIPS HIS SHIT:
04:22
BEAT: I am eager to see how this one's gonna fail. Oh wait no it didn't fail? WAIT YES IT DID! OH YES IT DID! YES! CHALK UP ANOTHER ONE BABY!

TOTAL: 18

Well Gee that video was awfully short! I wonder why BEAT didn't include the next level on it, since he's obviously able to solve these puzzles very quickly and with no major problems at all!

[OMINOUS THUNDERCLAP]

PART 09

HAVE YOU EVER SUFFERED?
CHAPTER 1.9
THE ACCUSERS
Fanboymaster - MarsDragon - Caliscrub

Fuck this game.

Fuck. This. game.

NOTES

• THIS VIDEO IS HEAVILY EDITED. I cut out 10 fucking minutes of footage, all in the form of tiny chunks of dead air. It was a fucking nightmare, and if another level takes me this long to finish I'm just gonna post the footage completely unaltered because nothing is worth that kind of mind-numbing effort.
• CHAPTER 1.9 IS JUST HORRIBLE. It's so slow, so jank, and it starts with an absolutely terrible gimmick of sticking the ball in a spot with an impossibly low ceiling, meaning virtually nothing can directly touch it.
• THAT TERRIBLE BEGINNING SPOT FORCES ME TO COME UP WITH SO MANY HORRIBLE IDEAS. Nothing can reach it in there, so you gotta think OUTSIDE the box, starting by setting up a rocket to get stuck on the entrance, so that its eventual self-destruct explosion will sorta gently nudge the ball into the open so it can slowly, slowly roll to the waiting rats below.
• THE VERY SHAPES OF THE RATS ARE NOW WORKING AGAINST ME. I can't actually use motorcycle rat to keep the ball moving because the ball won't roll in front of him! it just rolls down the gentle incline of his back and gets stuck in the corner.
• "WELL, I THINK I KILLED THE POPE." Fuck you bomb rat. You piece of shit.
• THE FAN, DESPITE BEING A FAN CREATES NO WIND. I've mentioned this in earlier updates but it really bears repeating. The fan will never actually blow things. It just flies around completely randomly, then explodes. There are no goddamn words.
• THIS GAME IS LITERALLY DAMAGING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL WELL-BEING OF MY COMMENTATORS. FanboyMaster mentions that after the prior recording session, he had nightmares of rats dying horribly. I'm so sorry Fanboy. I never meant to hurt you.
• IT SEEMS AS THOUGH MAFIA RAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET THINGS MOVING. That's horrible, because Mafia Rat is the only useful rat in the entire game so far, and now he's stuck at the very beginning with all his machine-gunning barely giving the ball any movement at all. Fortunately we're wrong and there IS a way to get things going without him! Unfortunately, I don't figure out until much, much later.
• AROUND 6:50 I COME SO CLOSE TO FIGURING IT OUT. You're not supposed to put the rocket ON the skateboard, you're supposed to put it BEHIND the skateboard! That's a real sentence that I actually just wrote. Fuck this game.
• I KNOW I'VE SAID IT BEFORE BUT FUCK HOCKEY RAT. Why the fuck are you even here you absolutely useless fucker?!
• 9:10 IS THE TIMESTAMP FOR INFINITE SADNESS. So close. So terribly close! Unfortunately when I try to move bomb rat just a few pixels to the left to obtain victory, he starts sliding all over the place, effortlessly dashing all my hopes and dreams.
• THEN EVERYTHING JUST STOPS FUCKING WORKING. And I do mean everything. Nothing does anything anymore. The victory we were so close to moves further and further away with every passing moment. Can nothing save us from this nightmare?!
• I GET MY FIRST TIME OVER. I HATE THIS LEVEL I HATE THIS LEVEL I HATE THIS LEVEL I HATE THIS LEVEL
• THEN THE GAME CRASHES. And honestly I'm glad It did! Because that chance to walk away from it all gave me a chance to think! To feel! To breathe! This was the release I needed!
• WE RETURN A FEW MINUTES LATER, WHERE I TRY YET ANOTHER EXCEEDINGLY DUMB-ASS STRATEGY. How about I stick the skateboard, with no rider, in front of the flying saucer fan! And then have Mafia Rat go to town on it when it reaches the bottom?!
• OBVIOUSLY THAT PLAN DOESN'T WORK. I mean obviously. Just look at Mafia Rat's incredibly poorly programmed model, shooting bullets in a direction a full 90 degrees from where his gun's pointed. This game is completely impossib-
• THEN SUDDENLY I WIN. HOLY SHIT WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM.
• AND THEN THE GAME CRASHES BEFORE THE ENDING ANIMATION EVEN FINISHES. But it doesn't matter! It's over! Thank god, it's finally over! I never wanna see this horrible level again!

STATS

ORIGINAL SOLUTION FAILURES:
CHAPTER 1.9 (I'M JUST GOING TO ASSUME IT WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED. IT HELPS ME SLEEP AT NIGHT.)
TOTAL: 5

BEAT FLIPS HIS SHIT:
THE PROCESS OF EDITING THIS HAS POISONED MY MIND AGAINST IT. WHEN I LISTEN TO IT NOW, ALL I HEAR IS A CACOPHONY OF WEEPING AND SOBBING VOICES, BEGGING FOR RELEASE FROM THEIR SPECTRAL PRISON.

SO LIKE, MAYBE THAT COUNTS AS 2 SHIT FLIPS? MAYBE?

YEAH 2 SOUNDS RIGHT.

TOTAL: 19

STREAM BEGINS NOW MOTHERFUCKERS

Gonna make an effort to keep up with this. That was a hell of a stream tonight.

I still contend, only half-jokingly, that there's an algorithm which screws the physics up every time the player gets closer to solving a level. The only real evidence against my theory is the amount of skill required to create the algorithm versus the actual skill level of I4R's programmers.