LET'S READ STAR FOX COMMAND - Tis Better To Have Loved...

This game sucksssss

But thanks for subjecting us to its horribleness anyway.

Everybody deserves peace bro.

Everybody has hurt people, acted selfishly, lashed out at others, and blindly marched down a path of self-destruction.

And everybody should have a chance to do what they can to make amends and step out into the sunlight again.

Bless you, BEAT.

Fox drinks beer through a straw. It's not only there, in that "shop" on Papetoon, either:

That whole thing is glorious.
Well done.

You have woven something interesting out of a game I'd never have paid attention to otherwise beyond the awful art.

There is no greater praise I can give for a Let's Play.

I want that manga or whatever it is, that art is rad

Guess I better throw out some CREDITS or something. Don't worry it's a short list.

NINTENDO: For being crazy enough to use one of their long-established franchises to make a game about breakups, isolation, and depression! I have no idea what they were thinking when they let that happen.

KRYSTAL ARCHIVE: At first glance, it's a string of websites that haven't been updated in years! And... uh... that's exactly what they are! But one of those sites has the complete Star Fox Command script on it, and I definitely wouldn't have attempted this kind of insanity if I had to transcribe the whole fucking game one text box at a time! Major props to them for doing it for me! Or for extracting it from a ROM or however they did it.

YOU GUYS: For putting up with someone treating a DS game like it was classical literature for like 6 months. Seriously you guys are awesome.

I'm not sure if BEAT was the perfect person for this game, or if this was the perfect game for BEAT. Or both.

What I mean to say is, if I saw this thread and didn't already know that the game exists, I would assume you made the whole thing up. Well done.

I still think he's making it up.

Like Octo did with FARIA.

That racing ending is certainly the best one. Falco is truly a good friend, when it comes down to it.

But he's a top-tier dickhead to pretty much everyone else

Falco's definitely a dick, but that doesn't mean he does't care.

ALSO, I cheated, and altered the game text to suit my needs exactly once. In this mission, It's possible to finish the level before Dash shows up, which will cause dash to just appear at the end and be like wow that was cool before peacing out.

Neither what he says if he joins or what he says if you do beat him to the punch really makes much sense by itself and I didn't really want to have to write around 2 separate events within a single post, so I just sort of mixed them together.

That one change aside, the rest of the game script is 100% accurate.

Late in getting to this, but I've been up all morning reading the entire thing. Great stuff, in its own way.

Also, maybe this shows why I've always preferred Falco to Fox, and always welcome him with open arms when he is revealed as part of a new Smash Bros. while the rest of the world scorns him as but a mere "clone" of the series' namesake hero.

People always prefer the characters from their favorite series. I hold out hope that someday Dixie and Cranky Kong will be playable (or even assist trophies) in Smash.

But yeah Falco is all right.

Meant to include this yesterday.

Yeah, I guess it's sort of like when people prefer Luigi over Mario, etc.

Attached Thumbnails

 

I'm glad you liked it! Also WOW re-reading parts of this makes me cringe. The sentence structures oh my god.

Hey Beat, I'm just letting you know that I'm here to judge you based on your grammar and punctuation.