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Don't Panic! Let's Play The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Back to Let's Play
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#91
11-28-2012, 10:50 PM
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#92
11-28-2012, 11:35 PM
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Episode 14
Well, lots of interesting comments from the voices in my head, I should start paying attention to them. Of course at the moment I’m stuck in the middle of deadly danger facing off with The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Again. Lair This is the lair of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. There are exits east and southwest. The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is here, looking particularly nasty and hungry. With a head-splitting roar, the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal charges towards you. Well last time we got lucky and managed to hide ourselves from the beast by cunning use of our towel. If it worked last time it should work this time, right? >put towel on head The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is completely bewildered. It is so dim it thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you. You have a few seconds before it realises its mistake. Now how should I take care of this beast? Quote:
>east You stumble in that direction, but as you can't see where you're going you wander around in circles. The Beast is getting puzzled that something it can't see is stumbling around its lair. Slowly it dawns on the creature that someone is trying to make a fool of it. It starts to look for you again. I guess I should be watching where I’m going. >take off towel You unwrap the towel from your head. You see that you have wandered in circles. Unfortunately, the Beast has also caught sight of you again. All this fooling around has made it doubly angry and hungry. With a vast savage roar, the Beast tears you limb from limb with its tungsten carbide Vast-Pain claws and ... well, do you really want to know the rest? The point is that you have died. Everything becomes... Dark Right… yeah taking off the towel is bad. I guess I had better try that again so I don’t have to work my way through the semi-random darkness. Really, there has to be a way to know where I’m going, doesn’t there? >restore Okay. Lair This is the lair of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. There are exits east and southwest. The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is here, looking particularly nasty and hungry. >east Beast's Outer Lair This is a large walled courtyard. Strewn about are a profusion of gnawed bones bleaching in the sun. In case the significance of these fails to strike you, there is also a sandstone memorial in the middle of the courtyard, on which the Beast has roughly carved the names of all its victims. Some sharp stones lie near the exit to the west. Bellowing with rage, the Beast charges after you. Okay, now whose name is currently carved on the monument? >look at monument There are countless names carved on the sandstone memorial: Gleb Snardfitz, Bibs Trench, Zeke Fitzberry, Elmo Smith, Brian "Spike" Berkowitz, Clybert Quackentotter... With a head-splitting roar, the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal charges towards you. That’s quite the collection of names. Well, I can easily type one of those, so I guess I’m Elmo Smith. >say "Elmo Smith" There's something about detecting insincerity that transcends even the vast gulf between Humanity and Bugblatter Bestiality. The Beast bellows, obviously convinced that you were lying and that isn't your name nor anything remotely like it. The Beast, sharpening its tungsten carbide Vast-Pain claws, demands again that you say your name. Hum, it’s smarter than I thought. Maybe I should give it a name that’s not on the monument? But how will that help me? If it knew who I was it would just eat me then carve my name on the monument. Hum… that gives me an idea! This is the list of people whom it’s eaten, right? What if my name was already on it? Then he would stop trying to eat me because it would naturally think it has ALREADY eaten me, otherwise why would my name be on the monument? That’s so dumb it just might work! >carve name on monument You have no carving instrument. You know, those sharp rocks look like they could come in convenient handy. >pick up stones Taken. >carve name on monument Whose name? The Beast's name? Your aunt's name? One of the Infinite Unknowable names of Buddha? How about the name of Fred who runs (or rather ran) your local chip shop? At least that's a short name -- you might have time to write it before the Beast eats you. The Beast is nearly upon you. Well I think my name would be the right choice. >carve my name on monument Before you even chip the first letter, the Beast sees you and hurls you spinning away with a bellow of rage. You're getting close, though. Huh, thanks for the encouragement came… I can’t help but feel it’s only to lull me into a false sense of security then pounce and eat me. Well, we know how to stop the beast, at least the way we tried it last time. >put towel on head The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is completely bewildered. It is so dim it thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you. You have a few seconds before it realises its mistake. >carve my name on monument You chip away with the stone. It's not your best writing, what with your mounting sense of panic and a towel wrapped around your head. However, it suffices... Just as the Beast is trying to work out where you've disappeared to, it sees "Arthur Dent" freshly carved on the sandstone memorial. This doesn't ring any bells with the Beast. It roars with fury, and eyes the thing it can't see because it's got a towel on its head (i.e. you) with deepening suspicion. Ah, good, now we just need tell it who I am, that way it will think it’s eaten me. >say my name The Beast is puzzled by a voice coming from something it can't see. Slowly it dawns on the creature that someone is trying to make a fool of it. It starts to look for you again. Hum… this could be a problem. >take off towel You unwrap the towel from your head. Unfortunately, the Beast has also caught sight of you again. All this fooling around has made it doubly angry and hungry. With a vast savage roar, the Beast tears you limb from limb with its tungsten carbide Vast-Pain claws and ... well, do you really want to know the rest? The point is that you have died. Everything becomes... Dark Okay, I think we have the order wrong. Magic word time! >restore Okay. Lair This is the lair of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. There are exits east and southwest. The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is here, looking particularly nasty and hungry. >east Beast's Outer Lair This is a large walled courtyard. Strewn about are a profusion of gnawed bones bleaching in the sun. In case the significance of these fails to strike you, there is also a sandstone memorial in the middle of the courtyard, on which the Beast has roughly carved the names of all its victims. Some sharp stones lie near the exit to the west. Bellowing with rage, the Beast charges after you. I think it’s time to introduce myself. >say my name The Beast roars your name with relish, and explains that once it has eaten you, your name will be added to its list of remembrance. You know, that is sort of my plan, just not the way you are planning it. >put towel on head The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is completely bewildered. It is so dim it thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you. You have a few seconds before it realises its mistake. >pick up stones Taken. >carve my name on monument You chip away with the stone. It's not your best writing, what with your mounting sense of panic and a towel wrapped around your head. However, it suffices... Just as the Beast is trying to work out where you've disappeared to, it suddenly sees your name freshly carved on its memorial of remembrance. Mystery solved. It realises it must have already eaten you in a fit of absentmindedness. (Its mind is very very small and quite frequently absent.) It decides to give up the rest of its afternoon to the twin arts of digestion and contemplation. It settles down for a snooze. Wow, you really are incredibly stupid aren’t you? Well you go have your nap and digest the meal that you didn’t get, I’ll go find out what I can do around here now that you’re not in my way. >take off towel You unwrap the towel from your head. Beast's Outer Lair This is a large walled courtyard. Strewn about are a profusion of gnawed bones bleaching in the sun. In case the significance of these fails to strike you, there is also a sandstone memorial in the middle of the courtyard, on which the Beast has roughly carved the names of all its victims. The Beast is in the corner, sleeping peacefully (Footnote 5). >footnote 5 Peacefully for a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal that is. Now and then it snorts or rolls over, and the walls shake a bit. Time to head back to his lair and see if we can find anything interesting. >west Lair This is the lair of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. There are exits east and southwest. >southwest Inner Lair This is the heart of the Beast's lair. The only exit leads northeast. The skeleton of a dead Beasthunter lies nearby, clutching something labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface." Oh, now that is VERY interesting! That could come in handy in more ways than one. >take computer interface Taken. And you know what, I want to be very paranoid about this thing. Things don’t seem to come back with me so let’s put it in the one thing I know always comes back! >put interface in thing Done. Anything else useful? >take skeleton Nice try. What else can I do around here? >northeast Lair This is the lair of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. There are exits east and southwest. >east Beast's Outer Lair This is a large walled courtyard. Strewn about are a profusion of gnawed bones bleaching in the sun. In case the significance of these fails to strike you, there is also a sandstone memorial in the middle of the courtyard, on which the Beast has roughly carved the names of all its victims. The Beast is in the corner, sleeping peacefully (Footnote 5). Suddenly, a team of Fronurbdian Beasthunters charges in, intent on catching the Beast for their zoo. Mistaking you for the Beast, they fire stun guns at you, wrap you in nets, and install you in a lovely little lair in the Fronurbdi National Zoo. Three months later the error is discovered, but while your damage suit is pending in the Fronurbdian courts the planet is invaded by Bureaucratic Pirates from Pallidon IV. Impressed into bondage for a 16-year filing and sorting mission on the so-called "basement world" of Sporla in the Lesser Magellanic Cloud, you escape with the help of a tribe of nomadic asteroid painters. You develop a unique talent for asteroid painting, gaining considerable fame throughout the Cloud. A nickel-ore deluxe is commissioned by His Royal Gorpness Orbjfelk, the ruler of the Nine Hundred Worlds of Gorp, but while working on this new masterpiece your asteroid slips into a small passing black hole. Everything becomes... Dark What… what just happened? I don’t even know how to… what? What!? You know what, forget it, let’s just see if I can do anything with this new interface. Back to the Galley! Galley You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat. There is an exit to starboard. A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here. Time to do a little maintenance. >look at machine The Nutrimat has a touch-sensitive pad, a dispensing slot, and a service panel which is closed. It bears a small label which reads "Another fine product of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation." >open service panel Opening the Nutrimat reveals a circuit board. This reminds me of the good old days, back in computer room off ring one… >take out circuit board Taken. >put interface in machine Done. >close panel Okay, the Nutrimat is now closed. And now, time to get some real tea! >touch pad The Nutrimat is puzzled that you want something made by pouring boiling water on dead leaves and squirting stuff from a cow in it, and says that it will need some help from Eddie (the shipboard computer). The nutrimat begins to whirr. Because I happen to like it, it’s not that hard really. Now come on, give me my tea, it’s not really that hard is it? >wait Time passes... A red sign lights up saying: MEMORY OVERLOAD Hum… Another red sign lights up saying: RESERVE MEMORY OVERLOAD Oh my. A third sign lights up: PROCESSOR OVERLOAD, SWITCH TO TERMINAL MODE That’s bad. A blue sign lights up: NUTRIMAT GOING ON LINE Ah, finally some good news! More and more signs light up: SHIPBOARD COMPUTER ACCESSED MAIN MEMORY OVERLOAD RESERVE MEMORY ACCESSED PARALLEL PROCESSORS ON LINE **************************** ** NUMBERS BEING CRUNCHED ** **************************** All I wanted is a cup of tea, why are you making this so hard? "Announcement, announcement. This is Eddie (the shipboard computer). Emergency situation! Nuclear missiles have just been launched at us from the approaching planet, which my data banks indicate is the legendary lost planet of Magrathea. I cannot perform evasive maneuvers because all circuits are currently engaged by the Nutrimat. The missiles will turn this ship into a huge atomic fireball in approximately eight turns. By the way, somebody didn't finish their spinach at dinner." Oh… crap. Puzzles: Getting tea Fluff? Being Ford! How to save the War Fleet Nuclear missiles Inventory: You have: no tea a circuit board a number twelve asteroid paint chipper a towel your gown (being worn) It looks like your gown contains: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is contains: jacket fluff a pair of tweezers The Hitchhiker's Guide an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device pocket fluff a toothbrush a flathead screwdriver an ionic diffusion rasp a pair of hypersonic pliers a strange gun a molecular hyperwave pincer a babel fish (in your ear) Score: Your score is 175 of a possible 400, in 400 turns. Deaths: 2 (Allergy to not eating Peanuts, Drinking Tea Substitute) |
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#93
12-01-2012, 07:41 PM
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Episode 15
Well, I managed to break the ship. This is not quite the outcome I had expected when I wanted a cup of tea. Okay, okay, it can’t be that hard to try and save the ship, it’s just nuclear missiles, the simple solution is to move the ship. Isn’t that the whole point of the improbability drive? We just need to go turn it on. Galley You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat. There is an exit to starboard. A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here. >sb Corridor, Fore End This is one end of a short corridor that continues aft along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to fore and port. In addition, a gangway leads upward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. You feel a wave of depression sweep over you, and you turn to see that Marvin the robot has stalked miserably into the room. >u Bridge This is the bridge of the Heart of Gold. A gangway leads down, and steam comes from an entrance to port. Next to the control console is Eddie (the shipboard computer). There is a handbag here. There is a satchel here. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. Okay, Eddie you’re the computer, I think it’s time for you to start doing your job. >Eddie, move the ship Eddie sighs deeply. "I can't talk right now. Do you know how difficult it is to pilot a ship as complicated as this one?" You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. Yes, that’s sort of the point of what I’m trying here. Maybe I should be more exact in what I want you to be doing. >Eddie, turn on the drive "Sorry, all circuits are currently engaged by the Nutrimat. I can't do everything, you know." You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. Arthur: Well, let’s get out of here! Zaphod: We can’t, the computer’s jammed. Arthur: It’s what?! Ford: It says all its circuits are occupied. Arthur: Occupied?! What, with my problem? Zaphod: Well what problem would that be Monkey-Man? Arthur: Well, apparently, it’s just trying to work out why I like tea. Zaphod: Oh, Dingo’s kidneys!! Ford: Photons!! Arthur: Now look, it’s not my fault! Well… it looks like I’m going to have to do this myself… now how do I turn on the improbability drive? It can’t be too hard, Zaphod manages to do it, usually while drunk. >look at control console Most of the controls are beyond your comprehension. The simplest one is a large receptacle of some kind. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. So, I can’t do it from here… back to the engine room! >d Corridor, Fore End This is one end of a short corridor that continues aft along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to fore and port. In addition, a gangway leads upward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >s Corridor, Aft End This is one end of a short corridor that continues fore along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to aft and port. In addition, a gangway leads downward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >s Engine Room This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here. Sitting in the corner is a spare, portable Improbability Generator. There is a nice, hot cup of Advanced Tea Substitute here. Lying on the deck is a plotter connected to a spare Improbability Drive. The plotter's long, dangly bit is submerged in Advanced Tea Substitute. There is a sales brochure here. It seems that the missiles struck the Heart of Gold about three nanoseconds ago. Sure enough, here comes that huge atomic fireball. **** You have died **** The computer wasn’t kidding when it talked about only having eight moves before impact… dear me. I guess we had better take a step back and try this again. >restore Okay. Galley You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat. There is an exit to starboard. A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here. >sb Corridor, Fore End This is one end of a short corridor that continues aft along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to fore and port. In addition, a gangway leads upward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >s Corridor, Aft End This is one end of a short corridor that continues fore along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to aft and port. In addition, a gangway leads downward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >s Engine Room This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here. Sitting in the corner is a spare, portable Improbability Generator. There is a nice, hot cup of Advanced Tea Substitute here. Lying on the deck is a plotter connected to a spare Improbability Drive. The plotter's long, dangly bit is submerged in Advanced Tea Substitute. There is a sales brochure here. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. You feel a wave of depression sweep over you, and you turn to see that Marvin the robot has stalked miserably into the room. Hum… I don’t see much access to the drive itself, but there is still the portable drive. >look at drive The spare Improbability Drive has a switch, a long cord ending with a large plug, and a short cord plugged into the atomic vector plotter. It bears a small label which reads "Another fine product of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation." You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. Marvin wanders off. Hey, look at that, a large plug, I bet that large plug can plug into the console on the bridge. Time to run! >take drive Taken. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >n (disconnecting the short cord first) Corridor, Aft End This is one end of a short corridor that continues fore along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to aft and port. In addition, a gangway leads downward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >n Corridor, Fore End This is one end of a short corridor that continues aft along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to fore and port. In addition, a gangway leads upward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >u Bridge This is the bridge of the Heart of Gold. A gangway leads down, and steam comes from an entrance to port. Next to the control console is Eddie (the shipboard computer). There is a handbag here. There is a satchel here. It seems that the missiles struck the Heart of Gold about three nanoseconds ago. Sure enough, here comes that huge atomic fireball. **** You have died **** Damn it, not fast enough at all. Okay I have a better idea what I need to do, so let’s not bother looking around. So let’s just hit the ground running, get the drive, plug it and flip the switch. That sounds like a good plan, right? >restore Okay. Galley You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat. There is an exit to starboard. A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here. >sb Corridor, Fore End This is one end of a short corridor that continues aft along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to fore and port. In addition, a gangway leads upward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >s Corridor, Aft End This is one end of a short corridor that continues fore along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to aft and port. In addition, a gangway leads downward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >s Engine Room This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here. Sitting in the corner is a spare, portable Improbability Generator. There is a nice, hot cup of Advanced Tea Substitute here. Lying on the deck is a plotter connected to a spare Improbability Drive. The plotter's long, dangly bit is submerged in Advanced Tea Substitute. There is a sales brochure here. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >take drive Taken. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >n (disconnecting the short cord first) Corridor, Aft End This is one end of a short corridor that continues fore along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to aft and port. In addition, a gangway leads downward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >n Corridor, Fore End This is one end of a short corridor that continues aft along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to fore and port. In addition, a gangway leads upward. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. You feel a wave of depression sweep over you, and you turn to see that Marvin the robot has stalked miserably into the room. >u Bridge This is the bridge of the Heart of Gold. A gangway leads down, and steam comes from an entrance to port. Next to the control console is Eddie (the shipboard computer). There is a handbag here. There is a satchel here. You hear distant sounds of panic: shouts of anger, cries of alarm, pounding feet. >plug large plug into console Plugged. It seems that the missiles struck the Heart of Gold about three nanoseconds ago. Sure enough, here comes that huge atomic fireball. **** You have died **** Well, in the tradition of classic Infocom game, I need to be prepared to solve this disaster before it actually happens. So I guess I’m going to have to jump back even further, before I broke the computer. I think I can arrange for that to happen. >restore Okay. Galley You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat. There is an exit to starboard. A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here. Okay, no disaster going on just yet. Let’s go grab the drive before I muck this up again. Engine Room This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here. Sitting in the corner is a spare, portable Improbability Generator. There is a nice, hot cup of Advanced Tea Substitute here. Lying on the deck is a plotter connected to a spare Improbability Drive. The plotter's long, dangly bit is submerged in Advanced Tea Substitute. There is a sales brochure here. You feel a wave of depression sweep over you, and you turn to see that Marvin the robot has stalked miserably into the room. >take drive Taken. Marvin wanders off. You know, the drive is plugged into the vector plotter, and the fake tea. I should probably take them as well, just in case I need them to use the backup drive. I hope not, but you never know with this sort of game. >take plotter Taken. >take substitute Taken. Okay, I think I’m ready to get my tea, and damn it I’m going to get it this time! Galley You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat. There is an exit to starboard. A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here. >touch pad The Nutrimat is puzzled that you want something made by pouring boiling water on dead leaves and squirting stuff from a cow in it, and says that it will need some help from Eddie (the shipboard computer). The nutrimat begins to whirr. Okay, you can do that. I’m going to wait for you up in the bridge, I’m not going to wait around here for the missile attack to start. I’ve died from it three times, I’m not going to add an fourth if I can avoid it. Bridge This is the bridge of the Heart of Gold. A gangway leads down, and steam comes from an entrance to port. Next to the control console is Eddie (the shipboard computer). There is a handbag here. There is a satchel here. >plug large plug into console Plugged. "Announcement, announcement. This is Eddie (the shipboard computer). Emergency situation! Nuclear missiles have just been launched at us from the approaching planet, which my data banks indicate is the legendary lost planet of Magrathea. I cannot perform evasive maneuvers because all circuits are currently engaged by the Nutrimat. The missiles will turn this ship into a huge atomic fireball in approximately eight turns. By the way, somebody didn't finish their spinach at dinner." I know Eddie, that’s what I’m trying to fix. Now if you will let me be the hero and look very cool doing it? >flip switch Which switch do you mean, the generator switch or the dipswitch? Dipswitch? What Dipswitch? I’ve never seen a dipswitch around here before? Well lets not worry about it just now. >flip generator switch As you flip the switch, sparks fly from the large receptacle. "My new control console!" wails Eddie (the shipboard computer). "This is the thanks I get?" The universe goes crazy for a moment. "Announcement, announcement. This is Eddie (the shipboard computer). The missiles have turned into a sperm whale at an improbability factor of 2 to the 39,745th power to 1 against. The whale is currently plummeting toward the legendary lost planet of Magrathea. I hope this will teach you to listen to me when I say that legendary lost planets can be dangerous. I am proceeding with the preset landing instructions." Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian saunter by on their way back to the sauna. "Good work, kid," says Zaphod, slamming you on the back. Marvin wanders off. Zaphod: Did you think of that Earthman? Arthur: Well, I did, it was just - Zaphod: That’s very good thinking, you know that? You’ve just saved our lives. Arthur: It was nothing really… Zaphod: Oh, was it? Oh, well forget it. Ok computer, take us into land… Arthur: Well, I say it was nothing... I mean obviously it was something…I was just trying to say it’s not worth making too much of a fuss about… I mean just saving everybody’s life you know? Okay, well that’s one less problem to deal with. Let’s go get my tea and see if it improves the spare drive and the darkness. Galley You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat. There is an exit to starboard. A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here. It looks like the slot contains: tea Oh yes, finally some real tea. There is some sanity in this world! >take tea no tea: Dropped. Okay…so scratch the sanity. >drink tea It is the finest tea you have ever tasted. It has almost made this entire misadventure seem worthwhile. You experience several moments of complete happiness and relaxation. The cup itself vaporises, part of the Galactic Anti-Litter Program. >touch pad "I won't go through that again. If Advanced Tea Substitute isn't good enough, too bad." Well dang, I guess I can’t enjoy the tea and use it too… and I could have used the 100 points drinking the tea gave me. >restore Galley You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat. There is an exit to starboard. A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here. It looks like the slot contains: tea >take tea no tea: Dropped Well now that I have the tea, let’s make use of it and get back into the darkness… because that only makes sense in a universe like this one. >drop drive Dropped. >drop plotter Dropped. >drop tea no tea: Taken. >put dangly bit in tea Done. >flip switch Which switch do you mean, the generator switch or the dipswitch? Hum… I think something I picked up had a dipswitch. I’ll have to try and look for it later. For now though. >flip generator switch You are disoriented. Blackness swims toward you like a shoal of eels who have just seen something that eels like a lot... Dark You can't hear anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >look at darkness You see a painfully bright light that stabs at the back of your eyes. >look at light The light resolves itself into the bright orange Sun of Damogran. The pain at the back of your eyes is from partying until very late last night, and both your heads are suffering the worst hangover you've ever experienced. You remember formulating a plan to steal the Heart of Gold, but you can't for the life of you remember any details. Presidential Speedboat, in the pilot seat You are piloting the speedboat, which features very simple controls, toward the island of France (Footnote 3), where the dedication ceremonies for the Heart of Gold will occur. You are currently steering the boat toward a narrow channel between towering cliffs and a rocky spire. There is a tool box here. (outside the pilot seat) >who am I You are Zaphod Beeblebrox. How did I get here?! Puzzles: Fluff? Being Ford! Being Zapod! How to save the War Fleet Inventory: You are empty-handed. Score: Your score is 175 of a possible 400, in 436 turns. Deaths: 5 (Allergy to not eating Peanuts, Drinking Tea Substitute, Nuclear Missiles x 3) |
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#96
12-05-2012, 12:40 AM
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Episode 16
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Presidential Speedboat, in the pilot seat You are piloting the speedboat, which features very simple controls, toward the island of France (Footnote 3), where the dedication ceremonies for the Heart of Gold will occur. You are currently steering the boat toward a narrow channel between towering cliffs and a rocky spire. There is a tool box here. (outside the pilot seat) >footnote 3 A meaningless coincidence. Let’s see, what do we have here. The tool box looks very promising as we’ve been collecting tools for most of this unwieldy adventure. Time to see what it may have in store for us. >open tool box It's locked. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. >take tool box Taken. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. So, I can’t open it just yet, I’m sure something will come up soon enough so I can do just that. For now though… well I’m not sure just what to do, though that narrow channel isn’t looking very safe. I wonder if there is anything I can do here. >look at controls The only control, other than those related to steering the boat, is the large red autopilot button. It bears a small label which reads "Another fine product of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation." You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. Not them again, do they make EVERYTHING in this crazy galaxy? And if they do, do they make anything right? Well there’s nothing for it, as this channel has really got me worried. >press red button The button glows. An electronic eye stalk shoots up from the hood, looks around, and withdraws. The light fades. You almost make it through the narrow channel but the turbulent waters push the boat toward the rocks. The autopilot button lights up and an electronic eye stalk shoots up from the hood, but a split second later the boat smashes into the rocks. Everything becomes... Dark That is one very disinterested autopilot. I get the feeling this one is going to be a serious problem for me. I should try to go back and see if there is anything I can do about it, assuming I can get back to it. I still haven’t quite worked out the system for that. [Yes, there really is a system to all the jumping around. Any guesses about how it works?] >s Corridor, Aft End This is one end of a short corridor that continues fore along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to aft and port. In addition, a gangway leads downward. You know… I’ve never really tired to get to port, I mean more than just looking in that direction. Maybe I’m missing something here, I wouldn’t want to do that would I? >p The screening door is closed. >open screening door The door explains, in a haughty tone, that the room is occupied by a superintelligent robot and that lesser beings (by which it means you) are not to be admitted. "Show me some tiny example of your intelligence," it says, "and maybe, just maybe, I might reconsider." I hate to say it… I keep running around the sides and ends of the universe, I’m not sure I have much intelligence to show! >s Engine Room This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here. There is a sales brochure here. Oh that’s right, I left the spare drive in the galley. Galley You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat. There is an exit to starboard. There is a nice, hot cup of tea here. Lying on the deck is a plotter connected to a spare Improbability Drive. The plotter's long, dangly bit is submerged in tea. There is a spare Improbability Drive here. A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here. "Announcement, announcement. This is Eddie (the shipboard computer). We have just landed on the legendary lost planet of Magrathea. I don't want anyone going outside until I've checked the atmosphere, climatic conditions, existence of dangerous wildlife, airborne diseases, volcanic activity, presence of real estate agents, and more than eight thousand other possible dangers. This routine check will take 14.9 years. And don't even think about leaving until I finish, because I'm jamming the hatch." Well, it’s nice to see that unlike some science fiction *cough Star Trek cough*, this one likes to make sure everything is safe where we are going… it’s just going about it the longest way possible. I’m sure I’m going to have to fix this one as well! Because who else does anything on this ship? >flip switch Which switch do you mean, the generator switch or the dipswitch? Quote:
The circuit board is square, about ten inches on each side. It has a number of microchips, some printed circuitry, and a message printed in microscopic letters. There are also eight dipswitches, marked: 1 Cholesterol Register 2 MSG Specifier 3 Thiamin Stack 4 Piquant-O-Mat 5 Flavour Dump 6 Vitamin Interrupts 7 Nose Sequencer 8 Bouquet Arbitration Bus Somehow I think messing with the dipswitches would just cause even more trouble for me, and I got me tea already soooooo don’t care. >flip generator switch A mist spins round your head. You fall into what seems like a bottomless pit. Suddenly, you hit the bottom so hard that you wish it had been bottomless... Dark You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >feel (darkness) It does feel a bit warm and wet and squishy. There seems to be some liquid at your fingertips. Sounds like the party, I could use a good party right now! >drink (liquid) Yucchhh! You are jerked to your senses by the realisation that you are licking the lining of a whale's stomach. Inside the Sperm Whale You are in the stomach of a sperm whale. You can hear a distant sound of rushing wind. There is a flowerpot here. This day is just getting weirder and weirder! Puzzles: Fluff? Being Ford! Being Zapod! How to save the War Fleet The Access Space Getting though the screening door Inside a Whale Inventory: You have: no tea your gown (being worn) It looks like your gown contains: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is contains: a towel a number twelve asteroid paint chipper a circuit board jacket fluff a pair of tweezers The Hitchhiker's Guide an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device pocket fluff a toothbrush a flathead screwdriver an ionic diffusion rasp a pair of hypersonic pliers a strange gun a molecular hyperwave pincer a babel fish (in your ear) Score: Your score is 175 of a possible 400, in 464 turns. Deaths: 5 (Allergy to not eating Peanuts, Drinking Tea Substitute, Nuclear Missiles x 3) |
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#97
12-08-2012, 05:47 AM
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According to Keen, the Dopefish is the SECOND dumbest creature in the universe, so...
Hmmm.... Maybe Zaphod should try looking at that button, see what it is supposed to do.... And, if this is THAT whale, we better get what we need and amscray... |
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#98
12-18-2012, 11:16 PM
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Episode 17
Inside the Sperm Whale You are in the stomach of a sperm whale. You can hear a distant sound of rushing wind. There is a flowerpot here. Quote:
>save 17 Sorry, but the number is beyond help. Too bad for 17… this happened when I was trying to make the episode save. It’s a new one on me. >take flowerpot Taken. >look at flowerpot The pot is filled with fertile soil. It is inscribed "Inertial Guidance System -- Magrathean Missile Company." It must have been created by the same burst of improbability that created the whale itself. Well, that does confirm exactly where I am which hardly bodes well for the whale. Still a flowerpot, that’s more random then usual really. I had better get this put someplace safe before the whale attempts to make an emergency landing. >put flowerpot in thing Done. That should do it! >wait Time passes... SPLAT!!!!! Everything becomes... Dark The Book: Another thing that no one made too much fuss about was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence some miles above the surface of an alien planet. And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it had to come to terms with suddenly not being a whale at all. This is what it thought as it fell: The Whale: Ahhhhh...! What's happening? Ee, excuse me, who am I? Hello? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Calm down, get a grip now... Oh! This is an interesting sensation, what is it? It's a sort of...yawning, tingling sensation in my...my...well, I suppose I’d better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let’s call it my stomach. So, a yawning tingling sensation in my stomach Good. Ooooh, it’s getting quite strong. And hey, what about this whistling, roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? That can be... Wind! Is that a good name? Oh er, It’ll do... perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I've found out what it’s for because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What's this thing? This... let's call it a tail. Yeah! Tail. Hey! I can really thrash it about pretty good, can’t I? Wow! Wow! Hey doesn’t seem to achieve much but I'll probably find out what it's for later on. Now, have I built up any coherent picture of things yet? No. Oh hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I'm quite dizzy with anticipation... Or is it the wind? Hey! There really is a lot of that now, isn't there? And wow! What’s this thing suddenly coming toward me very fast? Very, very fast. So big and flat and wide it needs a big wide-sounding word like ...ow...ound...round...ground! That’s it! Ground! I wonder if it’ll be friendly? *splat* The Book: Curiously enough the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was, “Oh, no not again.” Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we should know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now. It’s nice that one of this little side trips turns out to be fairly simple to get done… though I have no idea what to do with a flowerpot, I still have it now. Right? >i You have: no tea a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn) It looks like your gown contains: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is contains: a flowerpot a towel a number twelve asteroid paint chipper a circuit board jacket fluff a pair of tweezers The Hitchhiker's Guide an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device pocket fluff a toothbrush a flathead screwdriver an ionic diffusion rasp a pair of hypersonic pliers a strange gun a molecular hyperwave pincer Yep, there it is, tucked away safely in that thing my aunt gave me, it’s very useful. Okay, now that I have that settled, let’s see where I can end up at next! >flip generator switch Like fog rolling in off the ocean, a shroud of blackness billows toward you. Unlike fog rolling in off the ocean, the blackness hits you like a sixteen-tonne truck... Dark You can't hear anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >look at darkness You see a painfully bright light that stabs at the front of your eyes. >look at light The light resolves itself into the bright yellow Sun of Earth. You are hurrying up a country lane. The sky is light and clear, but you keep glancing at it with apprehension because you know that it will shortly be torn apart by Vogon ships, and that the hills and trees around you will just burn up and blow away, and you hope there's time for a quick drink beforehand. You want to hitch a ride aboard the Vogon fleet, but are anxious because it's so long since you were through a matter transference beam. Country Lane The road runs from Arthur's home, to the north, toward the village Pub, to the west. So here I am, back being Ford again. Well that’s a good sign, I bet if I put my head to it we can work out what we need to do around here. Let’s what I have on me. >i You have: a satchel >look in satchel Opening the satchel reveals Santraginean Mineral Water, a towel, The Hitchhiker's Guide, an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device, and satchel fluff. Hum, more fluff, and I can’t open up the satchel when I’m myself, so I have to somehow get this fluff safely into a place where I can get it. I’m not sure how. There is also the problem with the dog that’s in the way, we really must deal with him. Doubly so considering what I suspect he ends up eating. So here you are strange voice in my head, it’s your time to shine! Puzzles: Fluff? Being Ford! Being Zapod! How to save the War Fleet The Access Space Getting though the screening door Inventory: You have: a satchel Score: Your score is 175 of a possible 400, in 496 turns. Deaths: 5 (Allergy to not eating Peanuts, Drinking Tea Substitute, Nuclear Missiles x 3) |
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#100
02-25-2013, 11:56 PM
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Episode 18
Now, we have two issues at hand while being Ford, one is to get the fluff out of the satchel and back to the Heart of Gold, that one is easy. The second challenge is to take care of the small dog so he doesn’t eat the battle fleet. How do we go about this? Quote:
Country Lane The road runs from Arthur's home, to the north, toward the village Pub, to the west. >north Front of House Before you is the house of your friend, Arthur Dent, who is lying in front of a bulldozer; you have no idea why. You have no idea about most things about Arthur, even why you regard him as a friend, but you do, and must therefore return his towel before you leave. Nearby stands an impatient man. There seems to be a bit of an atmosphere. >open satchel Opening the satchel reveals Santraginean Mineral Water, a towel, The Hitchhiker's Guide, an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device, and satchel fluff. >give fluff to arthur Arthur blinks several times, but doesn't take the fluff. Perhaps if he had a few drinks in him... So… he’s not drunk enough to take the fluff. Well as problems go that is easy enough to fix! First off let me go take care of that idiot Prosser before he goes about knocking my house down just in time for the world to come to a crashing end around him. Maybe I’m a little bit bitter about that… >offer towel to arthur Inexplicably, Arthur takes no notice of the towel which, magnificently, you are trying to return to him. Instead, he says, "Ford, what about my home?" You start guiltily. Does he actually KNOW that the Earth is about to be destroyed? You start to ask him, then stop. If he knows, what the Zark is he doing lying here in the mud in front of... You look around. You notice the bulldozer properly for the first time. You notice Arthur's house. You notice the workmen. The penny drops. His HOUSE is about to be demolished. You feel like a complete...what's the word? >idiot Thank you. An idiot is exactly what you feel like. In a reckless moment you go completely mad and decide that you ought to take Arthur with you. You try to tell Arthur about the importance of getting a drink, but he's rambling on about a man called Prosser. >walk around bulldozer You walk around the bulldozer. Prosser is standing here, looking cross and frustrated. Realising that you are a friend of Arthur's he starts to talk at you. He says that this sort of protest is all very well, but what Mr. Dent must realise is that he's had plenty of time to make a formal protest at the proper time and place, and that spending months going through the appropriate official channels, filling in the appropriate official forms, and going to the appropriate official public hearings is the right way of going about it, and lying around whimsically in the mud is not. He says that he personally hates mud and despises the sort of people who lie in it. >prosser, lie down in the mud Prosser blinks in astonishment. "You mean, go and lie in the mud in his place...?" You explain that Arthur will only move if someone else takes over for him. Prosser shakes his head in such a manner as to suggest that he is very weary of the world, and you tactfully forebear from mentioning that it won't be troubling him much longer. Reluctantly, he follows you back toward Arthur. You rapidly conclude the business. Prosser lies in the mud. Arthur, bewildered, nevertheless stands up and appears ready to follow you to the Pub. Come along Arthur, it’s time to get you nice and drunk so you can take the fluff home with you back to when I’m you and you’re me and neither one of us is Ford. While we are at it we can work out how to feed that dang dog! >s Country Lane The road runs from Arthur's home, to the north, toward the village Pub, to the west. Arthur follows you. >w Pub The Pub is pleasant and cheerful and full of pleasant and cheerful people who don't know they've got about twelve minutes to live and are therefore having a spot of lunch. Some music is playing on an old jukebox. The exit is east. There is a barman serving at the bar. Behind the bar is a shelf. It is full of the sort of items you find on shelves behind bars in pubs. Arthur follows you. >buy beer You order six pints of bitter -- three for you, three for Arthur. According to The Hitchhiker's Guide this should cushion your system against the coming shock of the matter transference beam. As you drink the first pint, you mention to Arthur that you are from a different planet, but it makes little impression. This surprises you, because you thought it was the sort of thing that would interest people. >buy peanuts You buy some peanuts, which you'll need to replace protein loss from the matter transference beam, a tip you picked up from The Hitchhiker's Guide. There we are, that’s the important things out of the way. >drink beer It goes down well. At least they managed to get something right on this benighted planet. You decide it's time to tell Arthur that the world is about to end. You tell him. Arthur is completely unperturbed. Curious. You wonder what sort of news it would take to disturb him. >give fluff to arthur Arthur blinks several times, but doesn't take the fluff. Perhaps if he had a few drinks in him... Guess he’s not quite drunk enough just yet. Might as well get that sandwich again while I wait for my past self to get drunk enough. >buy cheese sandwich You can't see any cheese sandwich here! What? >look at shelves On the shelf behind the bar is the usual array of bottles, glasses and soggy beermats. What?! By the Great Prophet Zarquon, you have to be kidding me! Ladies and Gentleman, we broke the game! Stress and nervous tension are now serious social problems in all parts of the galaxy and it is in order that this situation should not be in any way exacerbated that the following facts will now be revealed in advanced: (Please enjoy this soothing imagery while you read) We’re not totally screwed at this point in time, and we can go back a bit to save the day! Okay, and now you know why I’ve been delayed in posting this update. We have broke the game, broke it so bad that it’s now unwinnable. I think this must be a bug in the game, but it looks like we can only buy the cheese sandwich once in the game, which we did the last time we were Ford… so everything should have reset, we’re humped. Luckily I’m a bit obsessive with my saving, so I can jump back to before we broke the game during Episode 10, and pick things up from there. So we’re going to have to do a bit of time travel, but that’s okay. Now, here’s a question for you, how do we use the sandwich to feed the dog when last time it nearly bit off my hand? Puzzles: Fluff? Being Ford! Being Zapod! How to save the War Fleet The Access Space Getting though the screening door Inventory: You have: a satchel Score: Your score is 175 of a possible 400, in 496 turns. Deaths: 6 (Allergy to not eating Peanuts, Drinking Tea Substitute, Nuclear Missiles x 3, Missing Sandwich) |
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#102
02-26-2013, 01:32 PM
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Quote:
I'm going to play around a bit to see if I can somehow reset it, but this really feels like a bug as everything else goes back into place. |
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#103
03-01-2013, 11:04 PM
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Episode 19
So, I guess it’s time to break out the time machine and jump back before we glitched the game. This will take me back quite a ways, so we’ll have to redo a few things but know we have the answer to many of these problems. At least things will go faster. Of course we’re back where we started last time. Country Lane The road runs from Arthur's home, to the north, toward the village Pub, to the west. Okay, let’s get Arthur and myself to the pub! >north Front of House Before you is the house of your friend, Arthur Dent, who is lying in front of a bulldozer; you have no idea why. You have no idea about most things about Arthur, even why you regard him as a friend, but you do, and must therefore return his towel before you leave. Nearby stands an impatient man. There seems to be a bit of an atmosphere. >open satchel Opening the satchel reveals Santraginean Mineral Water, a towel, The Hitchhiker's Guide, an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device, and satchel fluff. >offer towel to arthur Inexplicably, Arthur takes no notice of the towel which, magnificently, you are trying to return to him. Instead, he says, "Ford, what about my home?" You start guiltily. Does he actually KNOW that the Earth is about to be destroyed? You start to ask him, then stop. If he knows, what the Zark is he doing lying here in the mud in front of... You look around. You notice the bulldozer properly for the first time. You notice Arthur's house. You notice the workmen. The penny drops. His HOUSE is about to be demolished. You feel like a complete...what's the word? >idiot Thank you. An idiot is exactly what you feel like. In a reckless moment you go completely mad and decide that you ought to take Arthur with you. You try to tell Arthur about the importance of getting a drink, but he's rambling on about a man called Prosser. >walk around bulldozer You walk around the bulldozer. Prosser is standing here, looking cross and frustrated. Realising that you are a friend of Arthur's he starts to talk at you. He says that this sort of protest is all very well, but what Mr. Dent must realise is that he's had plenty of time to make a formal protest at the proper time and place, and that spending months going through the appropriate official channels, filling in the appropriate official forms, and going to the appropriate official public hearings is the right way of going about it, and lying around whimsically in the mud is not. He says that he personally hates mud and despises the sort of people who lie in it. >prosser, lie down in the mud Prosser blinks in astonishment. "You mean, go and lie in the mud in his place...?" You explain that Arthur will only move if someone else takes over for him. Prosser shakes his head in such a manner as to suggest that he is very weary of the world, and you tactfully forebear from mentioning that it won't be troubling him much longer. Reluctantly, he follows you back toward Arthur. You rapidly conclude the business. Prosser lies in the mud. Arthur, bewildered, nevertheless stands up and appears ready to follow you to the Pub. The Deja-vu is strong with this episode. >s Country Lane The road runs from Arthur's home, to the north, toward the village Pub, to the west. Arthur follows you. >w Pub The Pub is pleasant and cheerful and full of pleasant and cheerful people who don't know they've got about twelve minutes to live and are therefore having a spot of lunch. Some music is playing on an old jukebox. The exit is east. There is a barman serving at the bar. Behind the bar is a shelf. It is full of the sort of items you find on shelves behind bars in pubs. Arthur follows you. >look at shelves On the shelf behind the bar is the usual array of bottles, glasses and soggy beermats, some packets of peanuts, and a plate of uninviting cheese sandwiches. Well look at that, the sandwiches are back. Looks like we can get back to winning the game now! First off though, it’s time to get drunk and then collect everything we need from behind the bar. >buy beer You order six pints of bitter -- three for you, three for Arthur. According to The Hitchhiker's Guide this should cushion your system against the coming shock of the matter transference beam. As you drink the first pint, you mention to Arthur that you are from a different planet, but it makes little impression. This surprises you, because you thought it was the sort of thing that would interest people. >buy peanuts You buy some peanuts, which you'll need to replace protein loss from the matter transference beam, a tip you picked up from The Hitchhiker's Guide. >buy sandwich The barman gives you a cheese sandwich. The bread is like the stuff that stereos come packed in, the cheese would be great for rubbing out spelling mistakes, and margarine and pickle have performed an unedifying chemical reaction to produce something that shouldn't be, but is, turquoise. Since it is clearly unfit for human consumption you are grateful to be charged only a pound for it. >drink beer It goes down well. At least they managed to get something right on this benighted planet. You decide it's time to tell Arthur that the world is about to end. You tell him. Arthur is completely unperturbed. Curious. You wonder what sort of news it would take to disturb him. So, now I need to get Arthur drunk enough that I could give him the fluff, and of course there is the issue of the hungry dog to deal with. Lets deal with that one right now, Arthur, you stay here and keep drinking, I’ll be right back. >e Country Lane The road runs from Arthur's home, to the north, toward the village Pub, to the west. Arthur follows you. Or he could follow me, and there is no sign of the dog just yet. Looks like the dog only shows up when Arthur is running off towards his ruined house. That means I can’t feed the dog myself, so I’m going to have to find a way to get him to do it. It would have been easy if I bought the sandwich when I was myself the first time though, but I was busy drinking beer and worrying about my house though that is a valid solution. Well… maybe I should just ask him nicely. Hey Arthur, care to take this questionable cheese sandwich off the off chance that you might be in a position to feed a random stray dog in the next few moments? >give sandwich to arthur Arthur takes it, sniffs it suspiciously, and wisely decides that it's safer in his pocket than in his stomach. Thank you! Down the hatch! >drink beer It goes down well. You hear a muffled crash. It's probably Arthur's little house getting knocked down, which you tell him. This DOES upset him, and he tears out the door. Through the window, you see him running up the lane. A small dog chases after him, yapping, and he throws it a cheese sandwich. The dog devours the sandwich with passion, and ignores a passing microscopic space fleet. There we are, one safely saved space fleet. Now I just need to save my past self. >e Country Lane The road runs from Arthur's home, to the north, toward the village Pub, to the west. You run up the lane after Arthur. You pass a serene dog. Fate cannot harm him, he has dined today. Maybe not fate… but the Vogons will! >n You reach the site of what was Arthur's home. It is now a pile of rubble. Mr. Prosser looks sheepishly triumphant, a trick few people can do, as it requires a lot of technically complex deltoid muscle work. Front of House There is a huge pile of rubble to the north. A path leads around it to the northeast and northwest, and a country lane is visible to the south. Arthur Dent is here. Mr. Prosser, from the local council, is standing at the side of the bulldozer. He seems to be wearing a digital watch. Now, take this before its to late! >give fluff to arthur Arthur hiccups, takes the fluff, and sticks it in his pocket. >take device Taken. Right on schedule (according to the news you picked up last night on your Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic), a huge fleet of Vogon Constructor ships hurtles noisily through the sky. Time is very, very short. Storms break in the wake of the ships, the wind whips at you and makes it difficult to stand. You grab hold of a tree. >look at device The electronic Sub-Etha signaling device is shaped like a small fist with an extended thumb. Various lights along its "knuckles" are currently blinking wildly, indicating a spaceship in the vicinity. It has two small buttons, a red one labelled "Call Engineer" and a green one labelled "Hitchhike." It bears a small label which reads "Another fine product of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation." Affixed to the Thumb is a lifetime guarantee. The vast yellow ships thunder across the sky, spreading waves of terror and panic in their wake. The voice of the Vogon Captain slams across the country, insisting that the planning charts and demolition orders have been available at the local planning office in Alpha Centauri for fifty years and it's too late to start making a fuss about it now. The electronic Sub-Etha signaling device in your hand begins to whine. Lights pulsate across its surface. You fumble with the Thumb as you hold onto the tree against the fierce wind. It falls to the ground near Arthur's feet. Arthur is struggling desperately towards you. The end of this planet is now only seconds away. >wait Time passes... Fierce gales whip across the land, and thunder bangs continuously through the air in the wake of the giant ships. You struggle to reach the Thumb, but the wind is too fierce and you are driven back. Fortunately, at this point, Arthur picks up the Thumb, and somehow manages to push the right button. However often you do it, you are still stunned by the shock of dematerialisation. The scene around is ripped away like a flimsy backcloth. Everything becomes... Dark Ah, an old familiar place, let’s get out of here and back to the drive. >s Engine Room This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here. Sitting in the corner is a spare, portable Improbability Generator. There is a nice, hot cup of Advanced Tea Substitute here. Lying on the deck is a plotter connected to a spare Improbability Drive. The plotter's long, dangly bit is submerged in Advanced Tea Substitute. There is a sales brochure here. >i You have: no tea your gown (being worn) It looks like your gown contains: satchel fluff a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is contains: a towel The Hitchhiker's Guide an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device pocket fluff a toothbrush a flathead screwdriver an ionic diffusion rasp a pair of hypersonic pliers a strange gun a pair of tweezers a molecular hyperwave pincer a babel fish (in your ear) And there we are, some satchel fluff to add to our collection! >put satchel fluff in thing Done. Then back into the darkness… because what else am I going to do? >flip switch Like fog rolling in off the ocean, a shroud of blackness billows toward you. Unlike fog rolling in off the ocean, the blackness hits you like a sixteen-tonne truck... Dark You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, and are not even certain who you are. >feel darkness It does feel a bit cold and wet and squishy. There seems to be some liquid at your fingertips. >drink (liquid) It tastes just like wine. In fact, you realise with growing embarrassment that your hand is sitting in a glass of white wine. You're at a party being given by a distant and incredibly boring acquaintance. Among the people you've been introduced to are a shy, mousy fellow from the West Country named Arthur, and a flamboyant guy named Phil. You've had too many drinks already, and the room is beginning to buzz... Living Room You are in a large Living Room. There is a party going on. Other rooms lie to the west and southwest, and the apartment's front door is south of here. Phil is here. Arthur Dent is here. You notice the hostess approaching, but, using several mingling couples as cover, you maneuver away. Well, we know what we’re going to be doing here. Puzzles: Fluff? Being Ford! Being Zapod! The Access Space Getting though the screening door Inventory: You have: a plate of hors d'oeuvres a glass of white wine a handbag Score: Your score is 125 of a possible 400, in 265 turns. Deaths: 6 (Allergy to not eating Peanuts, Drinking Tea Substitute, Nuclear Missiles x 3, Missing Sandwich) |
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#106
03-14-2013, 12:11 AM
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Episode 20
You know, I’ve been here before so I think I can just run right through all of this without any problems. It shouldn’t be THAT hard, should it? Time for some fast forwarding! Living Room You are in a large Living Room. There is a party going on. Other rooms lie to the west and southwest, and the apartment's front door is south of here. Phil is here. Arthur Dent is here. You notice the hostess approaching, but, using several mingling couples as cover, you maneuver away. >drop plate Dropped. >look at Arthur Arthur seems nice and well meaning, but also terribly shy. He has tried to start a conversation with you several times, but still hasn't gotten past "Hello." He has an enormous, unsightly ball of fluff on his jacket. >take fluff You remove the jacket fluff, improving Arthur's appearance greatly. He is clearly touched, and starts happily to chat away to you. You discover that he is only slightly more interesting to talk to than an averagely interesting wall. The hostess, whom you've been avoiding all evening, scurries up with your plate of hors d'oeuvres. "Oh, hello Tricia, how lovely to see you, I think you dropped this, dear." >open handbag Opening the handbag reveals a pair of tweezers. "Tricia dear," says the hostess insistently, "don't you want your plate of hors d'oeuvres?" Arthur tries, unsuccessfully, to interest you by talking about how badly Americans make tea. >put fluff in handbag Done. "Tricia dear," says the hostess insistently, "don't you want your plate of hors d'oeuvres?" Arthur tries, unsuccessfully, to interest you by talking about the deteriorating condition of the motorways. >take plate Taken. Arthur tries, unsuccessfully, to interest you by talking about cricket. >listen to arthur Unfortunately, you seem to have no choice. Arthur tries, unsuccessfully, to interest you by talking about computers. >listen to arthur Unfortunately, you seem to have no choice. Phil comes up and grips your shoulder. "Hey babe, this guy boring you? Why not come with me instead? I'm from a different planet." He takes you out to the parking lot, where his flashy interorbital ion scooter is parked between two Volkswagens. After mounting it, the scooter accelerates at such a great speed that you black out almost immediately. Everything becomes... Dark >listen (to darkness) You hear the deep and distant hum of a star drive coming from far above. There is an exit to port. >aft (We were lying about the exit to port.) You emerge from a small doorway... Entry Bay Number Two This is an entry bay for the Heart of Gold. A corridor lies aft of here. >aft Corridor, Fore End This is one end of a short corridor that continues aft along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to fore and port. In addition, a gangway leads upward. >u Bridge This is the bridge of the Heart of Gold. A gangway leads down, and steam comes from an entrance to port. Next to the control console is Eddie (the shipboard computer). There is a handbag here. It looks like the handbag contains: jacket fluff There is a satchel here. >take jacket fluff Taken. >put jacket fluff in thing Done. You know, it’s time like this where I really start to feel like I know what I’m doing. That I actually have a grasp on the game and know what I should be doing next. It’s all an illusion of course, but I can still pretend, can’t I? Time to try that switch again and see where it takes us. Engine Room This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here. Sitting in the corner is a spare, portable Improbability Generator. Marvin, the Paranoid Android, is here. There is a nice, hot cup of Advanced Tea Substitute here. Lying on the deck is a plotter connected to a spare Improbability Drive. The plotter's long, dangly bit is submerged in Advanced Tea Substitute. There is a sales brochure here. >flip switch Like fog rolling in off the ocean, a shroud of blackness billows toward you. Unlike fog rolling in off the ocean, the blackness hits you like a sixteen-tonne truck... Dark You can see nothing, feel nothing, taste nothing, smell nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >listen (to darkness) You hear the deep and distant hum of a star drive coming from far below. There is an exit to port. >aft (We were lying about the exit to port.) You emerge from a small doorway... War Chamber Spread before you, astonishingly enough, is the War Chamber of a star battle cruiser. Through the domed canopy of the ship you can see a vast battle fleet flying in formation behind you through the black, glittering emptiness of space. Ahead is a star system towards which you are hurtling at a terrifying speed. There is an ultra-plasmic vacuum awl here. Standing near you are two creatures who are gazing at the star system with terrible hatred in their eyes. One is wearing black jewelled battle shorts, and the other is wreathed in a cloud of green, sweet-smelling steam. They are engaged in conversation. The fleet continues to hurtle sunwards. Well, well, well. It looks like we can finally take a look at are handy work now that we feed the dog. That means the war fleet won’t be eaten by it and they will be able to… rain down destruction… on Earth… I think I may have miscalculated this plan. >take awl Taken. The fleet continues to hurtle sunwards. >put awl in thing Done. The fleet continues to hurtle sunwards. >listen (to the conversation) "Hated planet!" snarls the Vl'Hurg. "Home of he that dared to say 'consut guide about vogon'" rasps the G'Gugvunt. "Detested words! Even now it sticks my soul to hear them uttered," barks the Vl'Hurg, "even though ten thousand years have passed..." "And as many senseless megadeaths! Worlds destroyed! My race and yours laid to waste! All because of he that dared shape the words 'consut guide about vogon'." "Torture to my Vl'Hurgish warrior heart to hear it spoken! Yet, even now, the hot breath of our vengeance blows hard upon this little world..." "Vengeance on him who said 'consut guide about vogon'." "Yes, there's no need to keep repeating it," growls the Vl'Hurg. "One happy thought," adds the G'Gugvunt. "After millenia of bloody and perpetual conflict, our races have been brought together by this Quest for the Source of the Offending Remark. Perhaps, after our vengeance has been exacted on him who said 'consut guide about vogon'..." "Will you stop saying it?" "...perhaps we will continue to live in peace and harmony and..." "We will talk about that AFTER we ... who's this?" The two creatures turn and stare at you. The fleet continues to hurtle sunwards. Don’t mind me, I’m just looking for some Tea, do you happen to have some around here? No… how about those little cheesy biscuits or a Gin and Tonic? Your simple act of kindness at a moment of great personal anxiety (you fed the dog, remember?) now brings rich rewards. The battle fleet plunges toward Earth and spots the dog (which appears to them as a gigantic monster) cheerfully tucking into a cheese sandwich. The Vl'Hurgs and the G'Gugvunts are moved by this simple picture of happiness, compared with the furious savagery of their own lives. They think back to a day when they used to relax over an odd cheese sandwich themselves, often at sunset after a hearty day working in the fields back in Vl'Hurgon and G'Gugvia, and decide to return and rebuild their homes in a new spirit of harmony and cooperation. Grateful, they offer to drop you at the Heart of Gold on the way home. After a brief 900 parsec trip, you are escorted into the Transporter Chamber of the warship. The transporter glows, and your surroundings change... You know, I’m glad I could help you bring about the end of all this death and war… okay it’s the war I started ages and ages ago that’s to a bad comment that made no sense out of context, but it turned out right in the end. It’s nice that you’re not going to destroy Earth and all, though it won’t last much longer anyways. Still, thanks for the lift, and sorry for what I said back there in the distant past. No hard feelings? Maze This is part of a spongy gray maze of twisty little synapses, all alike. I think they had hard feelings. Puzzles: Fluff? Being Zapod! The Access Space Getting though the screening door Yet another Maze Inventory: You have: no tea your gown (being worn) It looks like your gown contains: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is contains: an ultra-plasmic vacuum awl jacket fluff a pair of tweezers satchel fluff a towel The Hitchhiker's Guide an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device pocket fluff a toothbrush a flathead screwdriver an ionic diffusion rasp a pair of hypersonic pliers a strange gun a molecular hyperwave pincer a babel fish (in your ear) Score: Your score is 150 of a possible 400, in 305 turns. Deaths: 6 (Allergy to not eating Peanuts, Drinking Tea Substitute, Nuclear Missiles x 3, Missing Sandwich) |
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#107
03-14-2013, 12:12 AM
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#109
05-16-2013, 06:02 PM
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Episode 21:
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So, let’s sit back and think about this. Where am I? Maze This is part of a spongy gray maze of twisty little synapses, all alike. Now that’s not very useful as such things go. First off it’s a maze, and I hate having to deal with mazes, they usual result in strange dreams where I die then suddenly turn out to know the way out of the maze… really it makes no sense. On the other hand these aren’t passages, but synapses so I guess that’s a different change. Wait, synapses? As in the thing that makes your brain work? How in the world… okay I knew the space fleet was microscopic, but this is kind of ridiculous. Does that mean that I’m in someone brain, is that even possible? Well I guess it is possible because here I am. I better get out of here while I’m still small, I would hate to suddenly expand to full size it someone’s head. That’s the sort of mess that not even dry cleaning will get out. Hum… I guess I can’t drop anything either for the exact same reasons. So, old rules, let’s start by going to the right… or I guess east in this case, at least until we find something different. >e Maze This is part of a spongy gray maze of twisty little synapses, all alike. >e An electrical impulse across a synapse gap temporarily blocks your way. >e Maze This is part of a spongy gray maze of twisty little synapses, all alike. >e An electrical impulse across a synapse gap temporarily blocks your way. >e Maze This is part of a spongy gray maze of twisty little synapses, all alike. Blocking the gap between two synapses is a large black particle. There seem to be some faint markings on it. Oh, that looks different now doesn’t it? What exactly is this little black particle hum? >look at particle As you look closer you see, inscribed in tiny letters on the particle: Sense, Common for: Dent, Arthur (for replacement, order part #31-541) Oh, we’re in my head, I guess that makes a lot of… no, no it doesn’t make any sense at all! How can I be here and in my head… maybe I’m still in the past? Does that mean I’m in the head of the version of myself in the Vogon hold? I would punch something in frustration but I don’t want to give myself a headache. Still, it’s here so I might as well take it! >take particle As you remove the particle, electrical impulses begin leaping madly across the now unblocked synaptic gap. Unfortunately, YOU were in the gap at the time. Everything becomes... Dark >listen (to darkness) You hear the deep and distant hum of a star drive coming from far above. There is an exit to port. >aft (We were lying about the exit to port.) You emerge from a small doorway... Entry Bay Number Two This is an entry bay for the Heart of Gold. A corridor lies aft of here. Well, that’s one way to get out of there, and now I have my own common sense… which makes no sense but I guess that now I have taken it does as I’m lacking common sense. Okay NOW my head really is starting to hurt. Still, that’s one less problem I have to deal with, now let’s see if we can go back to being Zaphod and get a few more things done yes? Yes! Engine Room This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here. Sitting in the corner is a spare, portable Improbability Generator. There is a nice, hot cup of Advanced Tea Substitute here. Lying on the deck is a plotter connected to a spare Improbability Drive. The plotter's long, dangly bit is submerged in Advanced Tea Substitute. There is a sales brochure here. >flip switch A mist spins round your head. You fall into what seems like a bottomless pit. Suddenly, you hit the bottom so hard that you wish it had been bottomless... >wait You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >smell darkness It does smell a bit. There's something pungent waving under your nose. Your head begins to clear. You can make out a shadow moving in the dark. >look at shadow The shadow is vaguely Bugblatter Beast-shaped. Lair This is the lair of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. There are exits east and southwest. The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is here, looking particularly nasty and hungry. The Beast whips its evil-smelling tail away from your nose and bellows a brain-shattering roar. By suddenly popping out of nowhere you have disturbed its train of thought. However, since its train of thought was the usual one, and in fact the only one it knows, which goes like this "hungry ... hungry ... hungry ... hungry ... bad-tempered ... hungry ...", it soon starts to chug along again. You notice the Beast's Lasero-Zap eyes, its Swivel Shear Teeth, and its several dozen tungsten carbide Vast-Pain claws, forged in the sun furnaces of Zangrijad. It has skin like a motorway and breath like a 747. It advances on you, and roars out a demand that you say your name. Oh right, you…. okay let me deal with you quickly. >say name The Beast roars your name with relish, and explains that once it has eaten you, your name will be added to its list of remembrance. >east Beast's Outer Lair This is a large walled courtyard. Strewn about are a profusion of gnawed bones bleaching in the sun. In case the significance of these fails to strike you, there is also a sandstone memorial in the middle of the courtyard, on which the Beast has roughly carved the names of all its victims. Some sharp stones lie near the exit to the west. Bellowing with rage, the Beast charges after you. >take stones Taken. With a head-splitting roar, the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal charges towards you. >put towel on head The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal is completely bewildered. It is so dim it thinks that if you can't see it, it can't see you. You have a few seconds before it realises its mistake. >carve my name into monument You chip away with the stone. It's not your best writing, what with your mounting sense of panic and a towel wrapped around your head. However, it suffices... Just as the Beast is trying to work out where you've disappeared to, it suddenly sees your name freshly carved on its memorial of remembrance. Mystery solved. It realises it must have already eaten you in a fit of absentmindedness. (Its mind is very very small and quite frequently absent.) It decides to give up the rest of its afternoon to the twin arts of digestion and contemplation. It settles down for a snooze. >take off towel You unwrap the towel from your head. Beast's Outer Lair This is a large walled courtyard. Strewn about are a profusion of gnawed bones bleaching in the sun. In case the significance of these fails to strike you, there is also a sandstone memorial in the middle of the courtyard, on which the Beast has roughly carved the names of all its victims. The Beast is in the corner, sleeping peacefully (Footnote 5). >w Lair This is the lair of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. There are exits east and southwest. >sw Inner Lair This is the heart of the Beast's lair. The only exit leads northeast. The skeleton of a dead Beasthunter lies nearby, clutching something labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface." >take interface Taken. >look at skeleton You see nothing special about the skeleton. >ne Lair This is the lair of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. There are exits east and southwest. >e Beast's Outer Lair This is a large walled courtyard. Strewn about are a profusion of gnawed bones bleaching in the sun. In case the significance of these fails to strike you, there is also a sandstone memorial in the middle of the courtyard, on which the Beast has roughly carved the names of all its victims. The Beast is in the corner, sleeping peacefully (Footnote 5). >footnote 5 Peacefully for a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal that is. Now and then it snorts or rolls over, and the walls shake a bit. >e You can't go that way. Suddenly, a team of Fronurbdian Beasthunters charges in, intent on catching the Beast for their zoo. Mistaking you for the Beast, they fire stun guns at you, wrap you in nets, and install you in a lovely little lair in the Fronurbdi National Zoo. Three months later the error is discovered, but while your damage suit is pending in the Fronurbdian courts the planet is invaded by Bureaucratic Pirates from Pallidon IV. Impressed into bondage for a 16-year filing and sorting mission on the so-called "basement world" of Sporla in the Lesser Magellanic Cloud, you escape with the help of a tribe of nomadic asteroid painters. You develop a unique talent for asteroid painting, gaining considerable fame throughout the Cloud. A nickel-ore deluxe is commissioned by His Royal Gorpness Orbjfelk, the ruler of the Nine Hundred Worlds of Gorp, but while working on this new masterpiece your asteroid slips into a small passing black hole. Everything becomes... Dark So, shall we try again? Engine Room This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here. Sitting in the corner is a spare, portable Improbability Generator. There is a nice, hot cup of Advanced Tea Substitute here. Lying on the deck is a plotter connected to a spare Improbability Drive. The plotter's long, dangly bit is submerged in Advanced Tea Substitute. There is a sales brochure here. >flip switch Like fog rolling in off the ocean, a shroud of blackness billows toward you. Unlike fog rolling in off the ocean, the blackness hits you like a sixteen-tonne truck... Dark You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are. >look at darkness You see a painfully bright light that stabs at the back of your eyes. >look at light The light resolves itself into the bright orange Sun of Damogran. The pain at the back of your eyes is from partying until very late last night, and both your heads are suffering the worst hangover you've ever experienced. You remember formulating a plan to steal the Heart of Gold, but you can't for the life of you remember any details. Presidential Speedboat, in the pilot seat You are piloting the speedboat, which features very simple controls, toward the island of France (Footnote 3), where the dedication ceremonies for the Heart of Gold will occur. You are currently steering the boat toward a narrow channel between towering cliffs and a rocky spire. There is a tool box here. (outside the pilot seat) Considering that took me about 400 turns to finally get here with lots of restores and other things to shake the RNG I think it’s time we sit back and work out how to bend this autopilot to are will. Personally I always thought the Zaphod was the most frustrating, I could logic out the Bable fish puzzle, but this was just… arg. So there is a lot to try and I would LOVE to get some suggestions Puzzles: Fluff? Being Zaphod! The Access Space Getting though the screening door Inventory: You have: Nothing Score: Your score is 200 of a possible 400, in 382 turns. |
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#112
05-23-2013, 10:37 PM
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Presidential Speedboat, in the pilot seat You are piloting the speedboat, which features very simple controls, toward the island of France (Footnote 3), where the dedication ceremonies for the Heart of Gold will occur. You are currently steering the boat toward a narrow channel between towering cliffs and a rocky spire. There is a tool box here. (outside the pilot seat) >open toolbox It's locked. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. >look in toolbox It's locked. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. Well, I’m going to have to find a way to open that toolbox as I’m sure it has some important tools in it or maybe even another piece of lint. It seems kind of silly to have a toolbox you can’t open so there has to be a way to open it up here in the boat. >look at controls The only control, other than those related to steering the boat, is the large red autopilot button. It bears a small label which reads "Another fine product of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation." You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. >hit controls You are obviously letting things get to you. You should learn to relax a little. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. Quote:
You see nothing special about yourself. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. >jump out of boat Despite your hangover, you recall that Zaphod and water don't mix. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. Sadly I can’t go for a swim, probably for the best I would sink like a rock with the two empty heads. It would be bad for the President to go for a swim and vanish, people would think I was the PM of Australia. Well there is that big red autopilots button, that seems far too tempting to simply let go without pressing. >push button The button glows. An electronic eye stalk shoots up from the hood, looks around, and withdraws. The light fades. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. >push button The button glows. An electronic eye stalk shoots up from the hood, looks around, and withdraws. The light fades. You almost make it through the narrow channel but the turbulent waters push the boat toward the rocks. The autopilot button lights up and an electronic eye stalk shoots up from the hood, but a split second later the boat smashes into the rocks. Everything becomes... Dark Zaphod: How do we get the automatic pilot on our side.? Box of choccies and some sweet talk? Okay, so if I turn the autopilot on it will turn itself off, on the other hand when I crash into the rocks it tries to take over but it seems not to have enough time. So how can I force the autopilot to turn on? Other then the big red button we have the controls for the boat… maybe we can use those? Presidential Speedboat, in the pilot seat You are piloting the speedboat, which features very simple controls, toward the island of France (Footnote 3), where the dedication ceremonies for the Heart of Gold will occur. You are currently steering the boat toward a narrow channel between towering cliffs and a rocky spire. There is a tool box here. (outside the pilot seat) >turn boat Try: STEER BOAT TOWARD (something). You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. >steer boat towards channel You already ARE steering the boat toward the narrow channel. So… that didn’t work, though I suspect we have everything here to solve the problem… mostly because I don’t have anything with me! Puzzles: Fluff? Being Zaphod! Autopilot Toolbox The Access Space Getting though the screening door Inventory: You have: Nothing Score: Your score is 200 of a possible 400, in 382 turns. |
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#117
08-07-2013, 12:02 AM
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Episode 23:
Before I begin I just want to say Prison Architect is WAY to addicting of a game. Just want to make that clear before I move on so we are all on the same page, because it’s important! Presidential Speedboat, in the pilot seat You are piloting the speedboat, which features very simple controls, toward the island of France (Footnote 3), where the dedication ceremonies for the Heart of Gold will occur. You are currently steering the boat toward a narrow channel between towering cliffs and a rocky spire. There is a tool box here. (outside the pilot seat) Okay autopilot, I’m going to get you on my side before it’s too late. You understand me? Quote:
That sentence isn't one I recognise. Quote:
It is already off. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. Well, the autopilot isn’t even on. So I guess the button turns it on, but it really doesn’t like the fact that I’m doing that. I’m starting to suspect that this thing is made by the same people who made the babel fish machine. Quote:
Taken. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. >put tool box on button There's no good surface on the autopilot button. You continue to steer toward the narrow channel. Of course not, that might be useful. Well there is one last suggestion I can try, and while it’s probably suicide it’s all I have left. >steer boat towards rocks The boat is now heading straight at the rocky spire. >press button The button glows. An electronic eye stalk shoots up from the hood, looks around, and withdraws. The light fades. You continue to steer toward the rocky spire. You know, I’m starting to think that the autopilot simply just doesn’t care about driving this boat. This is one of those times where I wish violence was the answer because it would feel so good right about now. But nope, that’s not the case this time, I just get to wait to crash. Maybe I can work out something with the toolbox. Maybe I’m missing something? >look Presidential Speedboat, in the pilot seat You are piloting the speedboat, which features very simple controls, toward the island of France (Footnote 3), where the dedication ceremonies for the Heart of Gold will occur. You are currently steering the boat toward a rocky spire. You continue to steer toward the rocky spire. Let’s look around again. We already checked out the controls and the toolbox is a toolbox. I’m not sure what else I can look at. Wait, I’m sitting down, I can look at the pilot seat. >look at seat The chair is very comfortable, with a thick plush cushion. You continue to steer toward the rocky spire. Oh, that looks like it has potential to be useful. Maybe there is some highly breakable vases around. >take cushion You are in it! Suddenly, the autopilot leaps to life, steering the boat away from the rocky spire. The crowd gathered for the dedication oohs and aahs as the boat swerves through the narrow channel. As it reaches the base of the towering cliffs a plume of water forms under it, sending it higher and higher. The crowd bursts into applause as the boat reaches the top of the cliff, just south of the ceremonial dais. Oh, now the autopilot starts to work. Apparently it was programmed to only do its job when it looks cool. Somehow that doesn’t surprise me with the way this universe works. Still I think I’m finally safe on the dock for the moment, so moving on. >stand up You are now on your feet. >take cushion You discover and pick up a small key and a piece of fluff under the seat cushion. Oh, that is even better, I bet that is the key to the toolbox, and one more piece of fluff. >take key and fluff small key: You already have it. seat cushion fluff: You already have it. Thank you game. >unlock toolbox (with the key) The tool box opens revealing a magnifying glass, and a laser-assisted monkey wrench. Win! Now let’s get the fluff safely put away in the toolbox. >put fluff in toolbox Done. >close toolbox Okay, the tool box is now closed. Right, now I just have to get this toolbox someplace where I can recover it when I’m done being this hoopy frood and go back to being myself. Wait, didn’t they say something about the Heart of Gold, that’s the ship we’re on so that would be perfect! >n As you step out of the boat, the plume of water lowers it away. The crowd, unaware of the autopilot, bursts into a round of admiring applause. Dais This is a platform surrounded by a crowd. Several members of the crowd are holding a huge banner. Just to the east is the Heart of Gold. >read banner "President Beeblebrox is a Swell Guy" (Footnote 15). >footnote 15 It's not a very good banner, is it? Not really, but I guess you have to start somewhere. Anyways, I’m just the President of the Galaxy, it’s not like I actually make any decision. I wonder who does… never mind. Oh well, to the ship. >east Don't you think it would be a bad idea to leave the ceremonies? Hum… right the crowd. >wave at crowd The crowd cheers wildly! It thinks you're terrific. >speak The crowd cheers wildly! It thinks you're terrific. Hum… will they cheer anything? >yell The crowd cheers wildly! It thinks you're terrific. Yep. >take banner The crowd cheers wildly! It thinks you're terrific. Suddenly, Trillian leaps out of the crowd, grabs you by the necks, and points a blaster at your left head. Guards rush up, photon rifles poised to shoot. "Stay back!" shouts Trillian. "One more step and the President of the Galaxy is fried meat!" The guards seem unsure, and look at you for instructions. Oh hey Trillian it’s good to see you again, or for the first time, or maybe a later time. Oh well that’s a very nice gun you have there, this is part of some sort of plan, right? It has to be, so now how to deal with the guards. What would the real Zaphod do in this situation. >panic Not surprised. That doesn’t help, okay let’s just head for the ship. >e You and Trillian break for the Heart of Gold. A wisp of an inkling of a thought penetrates the three-inch thickness of solid bone surrounding the guards' very tiny brains that something suspicious is going on. They reduce you to a smoking pile of ash. Everything becomes... Oh… bad move. Puzzles: Fluff? Being Zaphod! Getting past the Guards The Access Space Getting though the screening door Inventory: You have: Nothing Score: Your score is 200 of a possible 400, in 403 turns. |
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#118
08-07-2013, 01:03 AM
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Okay, let's try not panicking. Pretty sure real Zaphod tries not to panic in front of others. Do a stupid action-orienting thing, but not panicking so much.
So, let's see...what's the stupidest thing we can do right now? Let's do that! |
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#119
08-07-2013, 08:50 AM
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Tell the guards to shoot themselves. It's crazy enough to work!
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