-
Welcome to Talking Time's third iteration! If you would like to register for an account, or have already registered but have not yet been confirmed, please read the following:
- The CAPTCHA key's answer is "Percy"
- Once you've completed the registration process please email us from the email you used for registration at percyreghelper@gmail.com and include the username you used for registration
Once you have completed these steps, Moderation Staff will be able to get your account approved.
Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain. Let's play Bureaucracy!
Back to Let's Play
< 1 2 3 4 5 6 >
< 1 2 3 4 5 6 >
|
#153
12-21-2011, 08:48 AM
|
|||
|
|||
Time to get that door open! As you recall, we can't do it in our relaxed state, so what we have to do here is get pissed off. REALLY pissed off. And what better way to do that than by making a bunch of junk commands?
>wax baboon [This story isn't allowed to recognise the word "wax."] [Your blood pressure just went up.] >dance the mamushka [You must have special permission to use the word "dance" in this story.] [Your blood pressure just went up.] >water the cat [You must have special permission to use the word "water" in this story.] [Your blood pressure just went up.] >put gem in mouth [The word "gem" hasn't been approved for use in this story.] [Your blood pressure just went up.] >count pants [You must have special permission to use the word "pants" in this story.] [Your blood pressure just went up.] >get funky [The word "funky" hasn't been approved for use in this story.] [Your blood pressure just went up.] >hail percy, full of grace [This story isn't allowed to recognise the word "percy."] [Your blood pressure just went up.] >count benjamins [You must have special permission to use the word "benjamins" in this story.] [Your blood pressure just went up.] >contemplate the universe 'n' shit [The word "contemplate" hasn't been approved for use in this story.] Your blood pressure soars to 240/140, causing a small vessel in your brain to rupture. You sink into coma and die without pain. Whoops. Maybe that was a bit too much. After restoring and doing everything but contemplating the universe 'n' shit... >open airlock door Your current rage level is so great that you have the strength of ten. You open the airlock door. And thus, we proceed. >n You stumble through a brightly lit corridor. As you go, you hear the airlock door slam shut; when you reach the end of the corridor, you look around and find that the wall behind you has no opening. [Your score just went up.] Persecution Complex You are in the Persecution Complex. It is a long brightly lit hall running west, with 3 TV screens on each side of the hall. The screens resemble the security monitors one might find at a guard's station. There is a sign here. Creepy...let's check this place out. >read sign You read the notice. REMINDER This week, work on Jeff Plant now at Happitec So, they really are out to get me! But, I wonder what could be on those screens? >examine left screen You'll need to go west to do anything with the screens. OK. Fair enough. >w Persecution Complex You are in the Persecution Complex. It is a long brightly lit hall running east and west, with 3 TV screens on each side of the hall. The screens resemble the security monitors one might find at a guard's station. There are TV screens to your right and left. >examine left screen You look at this screen and see an image of the bank teller moving "NEXT WINDOW PLEASE" signs from window to window in the bank. >examine right screen You look at this screen and see an image of the llama-food salesman walking around your neighbourhood practising making deliveries to the wrong address. Suspicious... >examine left screen You look at this screen and see a split-screen display. On the left side, there's a very confused Russian gentleman standing next to his aeroplane in what looks to be a town near Baffin Bay; on the right, an American is wondering why he's in Jakarta. They're both supposed to be in Geneva, which is where their pilots' computers claim they are. >examine right screen You look at this screen and see an image of the waiter and waitress practising making customers go through complicated orders multiple times. Very suspicious... >examine left screen You look at this screen and see an image of a computer room with a dirty great mainframe and banks of those flashing lights they put in computer rooms so that people think "Gosh, how complicated computers are, and how amazingly clever the people who work them must be." The nerd is sitting at a terminal, hacking away. He looks about as happy as someone who has clearly never been out with girls can look. Above his head is a monitor screen, showing a really rather attractive individual looking at a monitor screen which shows a computer room with a dirty great mainframe... >examine right screen You look at this screen and see an image of a stockbroker staring dumbfounded at his computer screen, on which you can just make out an order to sell Frobozzco as soon as its price drops five more points. Extremely suspicious... >w Persecution Complex You are in the Persecution Complex. It is a long brightly lit hall running east, with 3 TV screens on each side of the hall. The screens resemble the security monitors one might find at a guard's station. There is an exit to the west. There's a modular plug here. That might come in handy. >take plug then examine it That's impossible. You see nothing interesting about the modular plug. OK, I honestly thought it was a takeable item. Whoops. Anyway, might as well continue to the west. >w Air Shaft This is a room where hot air is discharged, even barer than the airlock. It's like being inside the President's mind, except for the scrawled graffiti on the walls, one of which says, "This is the werst departure luonge what I ever seen". The others are unreadable. An exit leads up. Well, if it's an exit... >up You struggle up the air shaft, and find yourself back above ground, where you see a primitive landing strip hacked out of the jungle. Look. Um... We're not quite sure how to put this, so we got the lawyers to draft something instead. "Infocom Inc. currently possesses no mechanism for allowing proactive product end-users" -- sorry about the tacky '80s MBA jargon, but you know how lawyers love bull like that -- "to escape from interactive fiction situations without having made the least attempt to solve the puzzles. "The normal penalty under these circumstances would be death. However, we are prepared to offer you the option of returning whence you came. "Actually, this isn't really an option. Look at it from our point of view. Suppose you said 'To hell with it, I'd rather die', where would we be then? We'd have no option but to sue the guts out of you. And have you the remotest idea of the paperwork that would involve? We have wives and families, you know, and girlfriends, and sometimes we just like to go bowling of an evening or just hang out at the gas station, drinking Fresca and bad-mouthing the treasury. "So: back you go." Sorry about that. That's what the lawyers say, so that's what has to happen. Persecution Complex You are in the Persecution Complex. It is a long brightly lit hall running east, with 3 TV screens on each side of the hall. The screens resemble the security monitors one might find at a guard's station. There is an exit to the west. There's a modular plug here. Nice bit of fourth-wall breaking. Come to think of it, maybe there's some other way of using the modular plug? Like, say... >insert plug in Boysenberry With an irritating little click (it used to be thrilling, but, quite frankly, you have really had enough of the damned Boysenberry by now) your portable computer lurches into action. Boysenberry Terminal Emulator 5.21 All diagnostics completed Press any key to boot... ENTER-YOUR-ID,-OR-QUIT-TO-DISCONNECT CONNECTION IN PROGRESS.... CONNECTED TO DVH2 NODE 0106. WAITING. ID: QUIT Disconnect requested. Strike any key. So, it seems we need an ID to access this terminal. But what could that ID be? To be continued. An address book An eclipse predicting cartridge An airline magazine A coupon booklet A Popular Paranoia magazine A Swiss army knife A flyer $57.50 An envelope A memo An eclipse predicting cartridge A passport A Boysenberry� laptop computer An unlabelled cartridge A small case A hacksaw A Beezer card A wallet A US Excess card (expired) A digital watch Your blood pressure is 207/123, in 576 moves. Your status is Livid. Your score is 17 out of a possible 21, making you a Victim. Death toll: 7 (shot between the eyes by an old woman with an elephant gun, killed by a heavily-armed paranoiac, plane crash caused by lethal halitosis, plane crash caused by killer lunch special, thrown out of an airplane over a den of cannibals, fell 30000 feet without a parachute, brain aneurysm caused by entering too many invalid commands) Last edited by Kahran042; 12-21-2011 at 10:32 PM. Reason: Standardizing format. |
|
#155
12-21-2011, 04:43 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Let's look at this situation logically. I know, I know, logic and Bureaucracy generally do not mix, but things have gotten so sensible since landing in that cookpot that we may as well keep rolling with it! What have we learned?
1. This place is a hub for monitoring the torment suffered by others. 2. The nerd seems to be behind it all. 3. He's got his sights set on our protagonist next. 4. The nerd seems pretty confident that nobody can get here, particularly if he has a completely unrestricted network port in this section of the complex. So! We have an overconfident malicious nerd. Where would he keep track of his username and password? |
|
#157
12-21-2011, 07:34 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#158
12-21-2011, 07:44 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
It's pretty obvious that the code is related to RANDOM Q HACKER's contact info in your address book. However, the fact that it is so obvious makes me think that it may in fact be a red herring.
Let's give it a shot anyway. |
|
#160
12-22-2011, 11:42 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
The user name and password are obviously written on a post-it stuck to the bottom of the keyboard. That's what all the best hackers do, anyway.
|
|
#161
12-22-2011, 04:35 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Starman Deluxe has found the correct solution, and since he was so clever, I'm going to include the password for free!
>insert plug into Boysenberry With an irritating little click (it used to be thrilling, but, quite frankly, you have really had enough of the damned Boysenberry by now) your portable computer lurches into action. Boysenberry Terminal Emulator 5.21 All diagnostics completed Press any key to boot... ENTER-YOUR-ID,-OR-QUIT-TO-DISCONNECT CONNECTION IN PROGRESS.... CONNECTED TO DVH2 NODE 0106. WAITING. ID: RANDOM-Q-HACKER PSWD: RAINBOW-TURTLE LOGON AT 17:38 DVH2 CHA/OS: ? OR HELP FOR HELP CMD: HELP TYPE THE NAME OF A COMMAND, FOLLOWED BY A CARRIAGE RETURN. ? OR HELP GETS THIS LISTING. QUIT OR LOGOUT DISCONNECTS FROM MAINFRAME AND TURNS TERMINAL OFF. COMMAND LISTING FOLLOWS. COMMAND LIST: WHO: LIST USERS CLR: CLEAR THE SCREEN DIR: LIST FILE NAMES TYP: SHOW FILE ON SCREEN REN: RENAME A FILE COP: COPY A FILE DEL: ERASE A FILE RUN: RUN A PROGRAM Well, we might as well see who's using this network. CMD:WHO Code:
USER DATA PROGRAM RQH DVH2 CHA/OS RQH AIRPLANE.HAK HAK So, it seems that our nerdly little friend is also using the system. Not exactly surprising. Now, to see what files are available. CMD  IRDIR DVH2<CHA/OS.OF>*.* PLANE.EXE HAK.EXE FIDUC.HAK MENU.HAK AIRPLANE.HAK POST.HAK ZBUG.HAK TRAVEL.HAK DVH2.HAK Lots of files...but what do they do? Let's find out! CMD:TYP ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW CMD:FIDUC.HAK ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; FILLMORE FIDUCIARY TRUST ;;; ;;; CENTRAL COMPUTER ACCESS ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; .RUN LOGON SLARTIBARTFAST [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] CMD:TYP ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW CMD:MENU.HAK ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; GENERAL RESTAURANT ACCESS CODE ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; THIS CAN HACK ANY RESTAURANT WITH ; COMPUTERISED INVENTORY, ORDER ENTRY, ; OR BOOKKEEPING. .RUN [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] CMD:TYP ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW FILE-NAME:AIRPLANE.HAK ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; FAA TRAFFIC CONTROL COMPUTER ;;; ;;; AND NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; USE THIS TO CAUSE THE WEATHER ; SERVICE TO ISSUE BOGUS FORECASTS, ; AND TO CAUSE ANY ARBITRARY AIRCRAFT ; TO BE ROUTED TO ANY ARBITRARY ; LOCATION. [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] CMD:TYP ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW FILE-NAME:POST.HAK ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; POSTAL MISDIRECTION HACK ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; IN ADVANCED COUNTRIES, THIS CAN ; CAUSE MAIL TO ANY SPECIFIED ADDRESS ; TO BE DELIVERED TO ANY OTHER ADDRESS ; WITHOUT USING TELL-TALE FORWARDING ; STICKERS .READ COUNTRY .READ STATE OR PROVINCE .READ CITY .READ STREET .READ NUMBER Strike any key to see next page .READ APARTMENT .RUN [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] CMD:TYP ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW FILE-NAME:ZBUG.HAK ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; NATIVES ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; CONNECT TO ZALAGASA BOYSENBERRY ; USERS' GROUP COMPUTERS, JUST TO MAKE ; SURE THEY AREN'T GETTING ANYWHERE ; THEY DON'T BELONG [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] CMD:TYP ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW FILE-NAME:TRAVEL.HAK ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; TRAVEL AGENCY AND AIRLINE ;;; ;;; RESERVATIONS MANIPULATION ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; MANIPULATE AIRLINE RESERVATIONS -- ; ROUTE SELECTED TRAVELLER TO ANY ; DESIRED DESTINATION, WITH ANY ; DESIRED INTERMEDIATE STOPS. CAN ; ALSO CAUSE AIRLINES TO AUTOMATICALLY ; ROUTE GROUPS OF TRAVELLERS ; INCORRECTLY. [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] CMD:TYP ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW FILE-NAME VH2.HAK;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; EMERGENCY DVH2 CHA/OS ACCESS ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;===>>>WARNING<<<=== ;; MAKE SURE THIS ISN'T DIRECTED AT A ;; FRIENDLY COMPUTER!!! IT WILL NEVER ;; WORK AGAIN!!! [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] I have a feeling that I know just what file we'll be needing... CMD:RUN ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-RUN FILE-NAME VH2.HAKERROR: INVALID-FILE-FORMAT Well, maybe we have to run it using the HAK.EXE program? After all, the nerd seems to be using that to run AIRPLANE.HAK... CMD:RUN ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-RUN FILE-NAME:HAK.EXE ERROR: HAK-BUSY-USER-RQH. Hmm, seems we'll have to find some other way to get nerd-boy to use DVH2.HAK. But how? |
|
#163
12-22-2011, 04:47 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Should probably just start running executables and see what happens. As it stands, that would be PLANE.EXE and HAK.EXE. One of 'em has to do something useful, right?
|
|
#165
12-23-2011, 12:02 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Running executables does seem to be the way to go, but we can't run HAK, as is shown in my previous post.
Quote:
CONNECTION-IN-PROGRESS.... CONNECTED TO DVH2 NODE 0106 LOGON AT 17:39 DVH2 CHA/OS: ? OR HELP FOR HELP CMD:RUN FILE-NAME:PLANE.EXE AIRPLANE REQUEST TRANSMITTING... RECEIVED... CONFIRMED... ACKNOWLEDGED... Airplane request, eh? Maybe we can get out of here now? CMD:QUIT Disconnect requested. Strike any key. Your screen goes blank. The modular plug is automatically ejected from the jack like a little rat from a tiny drainpipe. >w Air Shaft This is a room where hot air is discharged, even barer than the airlock. It's like being inside the President's mind, except for the scrawled graffiti on the walls, one of which says, "This is the werst departure luonge what I ever seen". The others are unreadable. An exit leads up. >u You struggle up the air shaft, and find yourself back above ground. Landing Strip This is a bare landing strip surrounded by jungle. An air shaft leads down. This must be where the plane comes. Might as well... >wait Time passes. In the distance you hear the sound of Zalagasans having a huge row about whether bearnaise sauce or grated Parmesan is better with boiled visitor. >g Time passes. For some reason, the Zalagasans have started droning... or have they? No, it is the sound of an aircraft in the distance. The sound of the engines gets louder and louder until suddenly an ancient DC-3 appears nightmarishly low above the treetops, circles the airfield once, and lands with a cloud of dust and a squeal of brakes. The door opens and you leap on board to be greeted by a beautiful copilot. "You finally fixed that dreadful nerd," she says. "You wouldn't believe what he was doing, even to our own navigation systems. It was as if he didn't care who he inconvenienced, even himself, as long as he was hacking. Gosh, I'm just so grateful I could die!" With that, the copilot enfolds you in her arms and you begin to realise why people like private aeroplanes. You knew something was up, didn't you? Quite right. The pilot comes back to where you are sitting, spoiling your tasty fun. You wonder why he is not flying the aeroplane, but when he explains that the computerised navigation system appears to be going haywire due to outside intervention, you realise why he is not flying it. There would be little point. You realise just how little when the aeroplane goes into a steep spiral dive and you hear a loud bang followed by a toneless but exuberant rendition of an ancient Zalagasan song about what a coincidence it is that, just when everyone is feeling peckish and wondering about sending out for a 48-inch deep-dish pizza with extra everything, there should be a convenient lunch delivery. Your last words are "Hey! I don't like anchovies!" But the Zalagasans put them on you anyway. Death You are dead. [Your blood pressure is 0/0, in 581 moves. Your status is Defunct. Your score is 17 out of a possible 21, making you a Victim.] Try to guess why the plane crashed. Hint: It begins with "that" and ends with "bleeping nerd." And so, in order to avoid having our plane crash, we'll have to make his computer crash, and here's how. First, I'll restore and do everything necessary to run PLANE.EXE. Now, it is theoretically possible to just brute-force this, but not recommended, and here's why. You see, what you have to do is copy DVH2.HAK to overwrite the file that the nerd is about to use, but after you've done it a few times... Unfortunately, it would seem that the nerd has noticed that someone changed a file he wanted to use and realised that you are there. Doors slam shut all around you, and freon gas is discharged into the room. You continue to breath normally for a bit, and then you breathe abnormally. Then you breath normally again, just for a change. Suddenly, a small hatch opens low in the wall and a horde of little tiny automatic nerds with dirty spectacles and greasy hair shuffle in, twitching and whining and fiddling with their little hex calculators. You briefly wonder why you have received a social call from the MIT freshman year, then realise that the little nerdlets are in fact the nerd's private army. Not a very good army, it's true, but then they don't have to be. The freon gas is killing you quite satisfactorily, thank you; all the robot nerdlets have to do is laugh at you, which they do. And all you have to do is expire, which (knowing your place in the scheme of things) you do. The last thing you hear before you die is one of the little nerdlets saying "Hey, fellas, look! His stack is running into his heap!" Death You are dead. But there is a way to avoid this, fortunately. You see, the command prompt will eventually show what file RQH is about to run. So, you have to wait for that to occur, then... USER RQH ABOUT TO USE TRAVEL.HAK CMD:COP ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-COPY FILE-NAME VH2.HAKENTER-NAME-OF-NEW-FILE:TRAVEL.HAK ERROR:TARGET-FILE-ALREADY-EXISTS Y-TO-OVERWRITE:Y OVERWRITTEN CMD:QUIT Disconnect requested. Strike any key. And now, to sit back and watch. Your screen goes blank. The modular plug is automatically ejected from the jack like a little rat from a tiny drainpipe. Suddenly, everything becomes much quieter. In the distance you hear a familiar gloomy moan like a damp llama, as the nerd yells and screams at his huge computer. "I'll give you 58 bucks to get working again," he yells, but unfortunately, thanks to your timely intervention, he has hacked into his own mainframe and destroyed its crucial I/O operations. [Your score just went up.] Well, that was quick. But now it should be safe to fly out of here! >w Air Shaft This is a room where hot air is discharged, even barer than the airlock. It's like being inside the President's mind, except for the scrawled graffiti on the walls, one of which says, "This is the werst departure luonge what I ever seen". The others are unreadable. An exit leads up. >u You struggle up the air shaft, and find yourself back above ground. Landing Strip This is a bare landing strip surrounded by jungle. An air shaft leads down. >z Time passes. In the distance you hear the sound of Zalagasans having a huge row about whether bearnaise sauce or grated Parmesan is better with boiled visitor. >z Time passes. For some reason, the Zalagasans have started droning... or have they? No, it is the sound of an aircraft in the distance. The sound of the engines gets louder and louder until suddenly an ancient DC-3 appears nightmarishly low above the treetops, circles the airfield once, and lands with a cloud of dust and a squeal of brakes. The door opens and you leap on board to be greeted by a beautiful copilot. "You finally fixed that dreadful nerd," she says. "You wouldn't believe what he was doing, even to our own navigation systems. It was as if he didn't care who he inconvenienced, even himself, as long as he was hacking. Gosh, I'm just so grateful I could die!" With that, the copilot enfolds you in her arms and you begin to realise why people like private aeroplanes. After an eventful and invigorating flight, you land at your home airport, pass through customs without the least difficulty, and are ushered into a waiting taxi, which drives you straight to the wrong place. Perhaps you thought that the taxi company was being fouled up by the nerd. Wrong. Taxi companies foul up because that's what they like doing. [Your score just went up.] Hallway You're in a dark, dank, drab hallway. Grey, greasy stone stairs lead up, and an exit (the door long ago ripped off by drunken opera critics) leads west. There's an open door in the south wall. Now, to go back to where it all began. >w 619 Peach This is the commercial district. You see a rather shabby brownstone tenement (obviously once a grand family house) to the east, and a travel agency (which is trying to look like a bank) to the west. The Fillmore Fiduciary Trust Bank (which is trying to look like a travel agency) lies to the north. The street continues south. >s 620 Peach You see a rather run-down restaurant to the east, and one of those bookstores which looks as if it wouldn't have anything you want to buy to the west. The street continues north and south. >s 621 Peach You're standing on a well-kept sidewalk to the east of your new house. The street bears north and south. There's an overgrown alleyway to the east. There's a mailbox here. >w Front Room This is the front room of your new house. While you were absent, the removals firm delivered all your belongings and installed them exactly where you had specified. The carpets have been laid, the curtains hang luxuriously in the windows, your books have been arranged in order and the record player is playing your favourite album. There's a new letter here. And now that things are fixed, it's time to read this letter! >read letter "Dear Mr Plant, I would like on behalf of Fiduciary to apologize profusely for the problems you have been encountering lately. This was due partly to mysterious computer problems which have suddenly ceased to plague us, but also to the inability of our staff to show any initiative at all when confronted with a systems breakdown. I have immediately initiated a training program to counteract this ridiculous bureaucracy, and trust that in your future dealings with Fiduciary you will have no cause for complaint. By way of compensation I have waived all interest and administration charges for this quarter, and would also like you to accept this free first-class ticket to Paris. I also enclose your check book and a new Gold Beezer card and have raised your credit limit to $10,000. Sincerely yours, Joel X. Slartibartfast PRESIDENT" Glowing with pleasure at your notable victory, you do not even notice that the bank letter has been redirected from your old address, to which it was originally sent. You have a nice hot drink and turn in for the night, humming a happy little song about how much you are looking forward to your trip to Paris. You are particularly pleased with your impression of the accordion accompaniment and fall asleep with the words "Bonjour, Ma'm'selle" on your lips. You have won. Thank you for playing Bureaucracy, and if your future entertainment plans should include interactive fiction, please think of Infocom. Have a nice day. [Your score just went up.] [Your blood pressure is 199/119, in 587 moves. Your status is Livid. Your score is 21 out of a possible 21, making you a Bureaucrat.] And with this, we've won. We've fought the forces of mindless bureaucracy and emerged victorious, and now we're finally getting that trip to Paris. Join me next time when I show off Infocom's official list of fun things to do. Inventory: An address book An eclipse predicting cartridge An airline magazine A coupon booklet A Popular Paranoia magazine A Swiss army knife A flyer $57.50 An envelope A memo An eclipse predicting cartridge A passport A Boysenberry� laptop computer An unlabelled cartridge A small case A hacksaw A Beezer card A wallet A US Excess card (expired) A digital watch Your blood pressure is 199/119, in 587 moves. Your status is Livid. Your score is 21 out of a possible 21, making you a Victim. Death toll: 9 (shot between the eyes by an old woman with an elephant gun, killed by a heavily-armed paranoiac, plane crash caused by lethal halitosis, plane crash caused by killer lunch special, thrown out of an airplane over a den of cannibals, fell 30000 feet without a parachute, brain aneurysm caused by entering too many invalid commands, plane crash caused by navigation system being hacked, asphyxiated by freon gas) |
|
#167
12-23-2011, 12:43 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
It was (rather appropriately, for a change!) quite a moon-logic-driven bit of an adventure at first, but it turned out pretty fun in the end. If only Douglas Adams' own experience that inspired this had ended so pleasantly.
|
|
#168
12-23-2011, 01:35 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
Also, I like that you didn't have an aneurism until you tried to contemplate the universe. That's strangely hilarious to me for some reason. |
|
#169
12-24-2011, 12:34 PM
|
|||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||
|
As promised, Infocom's official list of fun things to do!
Quote:
>call 612-2114 our current number Not surprisingly, the line is busy. >call 247-6825 our former number Someone answers the phone but you can't tell who it is because of the noise of raucous shouting, chinking glasses and laughter. In the background, you hear someone cry "Hey! Remember how dull this place was when old Jeff Plant lived here?" and then the line goes dead. >call 945-3291 our ex-girlfriend Sarah "Hi! You have reached Sarah and Trent. Sorry we can't take your call, but we're on the yacht right now. Leave your message and we'll get right back to you. Unless it's Jeff Plant. If it's Jeff Plant, bug off. Just leave us alone, okay? Thank you for calling. Have a good day! (Except Jeff Plant.)" >call 946-2843 our current girlfriend Susan "Hi! This is Susan! You have reached my old number. Everyone knows my new number except Jeff Plant. Hi, Jeff. I've left you. It's all over. I tried to write, but you didn't reply. I expect you'll come up with some flaky line about your mail being misdelivered. That's typical of you, Jeff. If you think about it, you'll understand." >call 248-6875 our old bank After a few seconds you're connected. A woman says, "Good morning, and thank you for calling the Fillmore Fiduciary Trust Bank, Rhinoceros Branch. Please hold." [Your blood pressure just went up.] >z Time passes. The bank plays you the theme from Shaft. The doorbell is ringing. >z Time passes. A young woman's voice interrupts "Afternoon Delight," performed by a world-famous kazoo soloist. "Thank you for waiting. My name is Paulette. How may I help you?" >ask paulette about change of address form "You can obtain any forms you need at your local branch of Fillmore Fiduciary." [Your blood pressure just went up.] >hang up You hang up the combination telephone/answering machine. The doorbell is ringing. >call 941-8240 our current bank After a few seconds you're connected. A woman says, "Good morning, and thank you for calling the Fillmore Fiduciary Trust Bank, Chicago Branch. Please hold." [Your blood pressure just went up.] >z Time passes. The bank plays you something icky by John Denver. The doorbell is ringing. >z Time passes. The bank plays you an especially easy-listening version of "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?" without any of the twiddly bits. The doorbell is ringing. >z Time passes. The bank plays you an especially easy-listening version of "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?" without any of the twiddly bits. The doorbell is ringing. >z Time passes. A high, raspy voice interrupts "Afternoon Delight," performed by a world-famous kazoo soloist. "Thank you for waiting. My name is Pongo, the Bank Parrot. How may I help you?" The doorbell is ringing. >ask pongo about change of address form "You can obtain any forms you need at your local branch of Fillmore Fiduciary." [Your blood pressure just went up.] >hang up You hang up the combination telephone/answering machine. The doorbell stops ringing. >call 942-9042 Happitec You get through to Ollie Fassbaum's secretary who tells you: "Mr Fassbaum says he's out," and hangs up. If you're wondering, the things about the doorbell ringing are because I restored to the start of the game, and so the llama-food man is still at the door. Quote:
You hear the tail end of a message on your answering machine. Front Room >w Back Room You see a table and a combination telephone/answering machine here. On the table you see a hacksaw, an address book, a small case, your Boysenberry computer, a letter and your passport. >press button --- Type any character for next msg --- The machine says: "This is Fillmore Fiduciary. We haven't received your change-of-address form yet, so we can't send your bank statement. We thought you'd like to know that you're overdrawn." --- Type any character for next msg --- You hear click followed by a dialling tone. [Your blood pressure just went up.] Quote:
"The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!" "Don't give me that blue whale stuff! They're spy submarines!" "Look! Headless eyes! Headless eyes in the ozone layer!" "The computers have come alive! They can't turn them off!" "Laboratories! Laboratories in Utah! Where they make stuff!" "The llamas know everything! They write it down in a little book!" Quote:
If you go around saying things like that, people will start thinking you are a little eccentric. >g What astonishing drivel. You ought to be put away. >g Perhaps you should consult a psychiatrist before it's too late. >g Are you dabbling in controlled substances or something? >g Suddenly a bunch of men in white coats appear and put you in a straitjacket. They throw you in a paddy wagon and take you away to an asylum. Realising that this turn of events will mean you must fill out another set of change-of-address cards, you go completely bughouse and discover true happiness in the arms of a green llama which appears each night, high up on the rubber wall. Death You are dead. Quote:
The travel agent: >ask agent about nerd "That unsavory little dink? Ask him what he knows about the optometrists." >ask agent about herself "What's a nice girl like me doing in a place like this?" The bookstore clerk: >ask clerk about nerd "That pallid little creep? There's something weird about him. He should be locked away." >ask clerk about clerk "Started last week. Seems like a year." Arthur Dent's aunt (who you can't ask about herself, if you're wondering): >ask woman about nerd "A very disturbed young man. He used to be my nephew Arthur's best friend, heaven knows why. Then he up and moved to Zalagasa." The young mother (again, you can't ask her about herself): >ask mother about nerd "Him. He tried to put some moves on me, the little jerk. My husband wanted to kill him, but couldn't find him anywhere." The angry man (yet another person who you can't ask about himself) >ask man about nerd "That shiftless little twerp. He used to be my son. I wish he'd get a real job." Quote:
>give $4.50 to waiter The waiter seems quite displeased but takes your money anyway; he leaves. $4.51: >give $4.51 to waiter The waiter says, "Keep your lousy tip, cheapskate," then he leaves. And, indeed, you do spend only $4.50 when doing this! $5.00: >give $5.00 to waiter The waiter grimaces. His lips writhe, his eyes bulge, and his "face" goes red with an almost superhuman effort. Finally, with a noise like a llama giving birth to a particularly large baby llama, he thanks you for your generosity and recommends the "special" if you're ever there again, which you hope you're not. Exhausted by his efforts, he leaves. Quote:
"We refuse to send a cab there because bankers are lousy tippers. Now try again." >>620 "We refuse to send a cab there because the diner is such a dive. Now try again." >>622 "We refuse to send a cab there because that old lady keeps shooting at our drivers. Now try again." >>623 "We refuse to send a cab there because every time we give the llama a ride, we have to fumigate our taxi. Now try again." >>624 "We refuse to send a cab there because the resident of that house is absolutely mad. Now try again." Quote:
>give $17.50 to cabbie With a bitter sneer the cab driver spins his wheels in a puddle and drives off, drenching you with dirty water. $20.00: >give $20.00 to cabbie The driver thanks you profusely, points out some of the unique architectural features of the airport and hopes that your career, whatever it is, goes better than John Travolta's has of late. He drives off. Somewhere in between, let's say the average of the two: >give $18.75 to cabbie The driver looks at the money as if it were a week-old dead fish. He mentions something about your mother that you don't see how he could possibly know and drives off huffily. Less than $17.50: >give $17.49 to cabbie He shakes the balance out of you. And leaves. Quote:
The cab driver swears at you and starts yelling for a cop. Not finding a cop, he drives you back to your house out of spite. [Your blood pressure just went up.] The cabbie throws you out of the cab, swears eternal vengeance on you and all your descendants, and roars off, leaving you face down in the gutter. 621 Peach There's a mailbox here. Quote:
The Popular Paranoia magazine disappears amid the teeming crowd. >s You see a Deep Thought Corporation computer repairman in beige overalls peering blankly at one of the computerised signs which is changing from Air Moosehead to Aerotica, whereupon he disappears into the crowd. Airport Entrance >e You see a Deep Thought Corporation computer repairman in beige overalls peering blankly at one of the computerised signs which is changing from Northwest Accident to Quantum Airways, whereupon he disappears into the crowd. Airport Entrance You're at an entrance marked: Kirin Airlines Air Laphroig Air Zalagasa Northwest Accident Massive Quantum Airways Other entrances stretch off to the east and west. You hear "You Are So Beautiful," murdered by Lionel Richie being played very soothingly. >e You see a Deep Thought Corporation computer repairman in beige overalls peering blankly at one of the computerised signs which is changing from Air America to KiwiAir, whereupon he disappears into the crowd. Airport Entrance You're at an entrance marked: Air America Tickoff Air KiwiAir Low Ceiling Pan Universal Other entrances stretch off to the east and west; there's a Lost and Found office to the south. >s Lost And Found You're in the Airport's Lost and Found office. A doorway leads north. There's a Popular Paranoia magazine here. You hear "Leader of the Pack," with a disco beat being played very soothingly. Quote:
The Beezer card vanishes inside the phone. A synthetic voice says, "Please place your call now. You'll get your card back when you're done." The nerd waves the real Star Trek phaser impatiently. "C'mon, buddy. 58 bucks! A bargain!" >call 612-2114 Your faithful answering machine clicks on. "Hi, this is Jeff Plant. I can't come to the phone..." Suddenly, someone breaks in. "Don't worry, loser, we're taking good care of your house while you're gone." You hear raucous laughter and the sound of glass breaking. Whoever it is hangs up. The telephone spits out your Beezer card, thanks you for using it, and suggests that you have a wonderful day. While you're idly contemplating your next step, you remember to take your Beezer card. Quote:
>press light button From somewhere behind, you hear a sort of damp, gurgling grunt as if a pygmy hog had accidentally leapt into its trough on a dark, wet night. You immediately recognise this as the characteristic sound of a man who has been woken up from a refreshing sleep over his book, asked if he would like something to eat, said "No," been brought it anyway, decided he had better eat it so that they will take it away so that he can go back to sleep, and innocently started to eat it when, like a bolt from the blue, the seat in front of him has inexplicably shot back with astonishing force, hitting him on the back of his head and forcing his face into his food, then shot forward again with equal speed, forcing his food into his face. From seat 4D: >press light button From somewhere behind, you hear a high-pitched, scraping sound like a large rat sliding down a blackboard. You immediately recognise this as the characteristic sound of a doting mother who has been looking forward to a nourishing meal after a day's hard baby-care when utterly without warning the seat in front of her has inexplicably shot back with astonishing force, hitting her on the back of her head and forcing her face into her food, then shot forward again with equal speed, forcing her food into her face. From seat 8B or 8E: >press light button From somewhere in front, you hear a repulsive squelching mumble, as if a chattering orangutan had suddenly had its mouth crammed full of earthworms. You immediately recognise this as the characteristic sound of a politician who has been (needless to say) talking with his mouth full of airline food and the seat in front of him has inexplicably shot back with astonishing force, hitting him on the back of his head and forcing his face into his food, then shot forward again with equal speed, forcing his food into his face. From seat 9D: >press light button From somewhere in front, you hear a slippery sort of "phloop!" followed by a muffled grunt, as if the soap had slipped out of someone's hands and hit him in the mouth. You immediately recognise this as the characteristic sound of a Zalagasan businessman who has been making do with some terribly dull Western food (when what he would really have liked is a nice Zalagasan delicacy like llama stew with pulped roots and all sorts of stuff) and all of a sudden the seat in front of him has inexplicably shot back with astonishing force, hitting him on the back of his head and forcing his face into his food, then shot forward again with equal speed, forcing his food into his face. Quote:
>e Persecution Complex You are in the Persecution Complex. It is a long brightly lit hall running east and west, with 3 TV screens on each side of the hall. The screens resemble the security monitors one might find at a guard's station. There are TV screens to your right and left. >examine right screen You look at this screen and see a picture of a stockbroker putting some customer's money into an incredibly underpriced stock that he found on his own. >examine left screen You look at this screen and see an image of a computer room with a dirty great mainframe, and banks of things which they put in computer rooms so that people can look at them and say "Hey, those lights should be flashing but they aren't, someone must have killed the computer." The nerd is standing with his finger in an I/O port trying to stem the flood of bits leaking out onto the floor. He looks distinctly like a nerd who has suddenly realised that it would all have been a lot better if he had spent his time having drinks at parties and going out with girls instead of playing with computers. >e Persecution Complex You are in the Persecution Complex. It is a long brightly lit hall running east and west, with 3 TV screens on each side of the hall. The screens resemble the security monitors one might find at a guard's station. There are TV screens to your right and left. >examine right screen You look at this screen and see an image of the waiter and waitress bringing customers the food they ordered, and looking very unhappy about it. >examine left screen You look at this screen and see an image of an utterly bewildered traveller who has mysteriously arrived at the right airline desk with the right ticket to the place he wanted to go to, being assigned a window seat in smoking, which is just what he wanted. >e Persecution Complex You are in the Persecution Complex. It is a long brightly lit hall running east and west, with 3 TV screens on each side of the hall. The screens resemble the security monitors one might find at a guard's station. There are TV screens to your right and left. >examine right screen You look at this screen and see a picture of a Chowmail Overnite delivery man delivering llama food to a llama owner whose llama is hungry, which is why the llama owner ordered the llama food in the first place. >examine left screen You look at this screen and see an image of a confused-looking bank teller sitting behind an open window. Above the window, a sign says "CHECK CASHING, DEPOSITS, WITHDRAWALS, INFORMATION, ASSISTANCE, CHANGE OF ADDRESS." And that's it for the official stuff. Next time, I show off some random stuff that isn't listed here. |
|
#170
12-25-2011, 02:51 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Happy (INSERT WINTER HOLIDAY OF CHOICE HERE)! Today's update will be showing off assorted fun stuff. First of all, all possible "mangled" states of your money order! We've already seen what it looks like if it was sent to the paranoid, but here's what it looks like at the other possible addresses. First, the stamp collector.
>examine money order From what you can see, it's a money order from Happitec. Apparently the mousy man got a trifle over-eager when he encountered the envelope that your money order came in, and reduced both the envelope and its contents to shreds. Next, the matron. >examine money order From what you can see, it's a money order from Happitec. The macaw apparently doesn't like Happitec much either, because the money order has been reduced to tiny scraps of paper. Finally, the llama. >examine money order From what you can see, it's a money order from Happitec. The amount, payee, and signature are all unintelligible due to the llama's overactive salivary glands. It certainly couldn't be cashed. Next, what happens if you try to get into the paranoid's house before getting the correct countersign? >say "actually, it's the bbc controlling us from london" The intercom is silent for a moment. "I dunno," says the voice. "I don't like the way you said that. Sounds like you're just guessing." [Your blood pressure just went up.] You hear an electric snap as the intercom is switched off. Yes, the game actually knew I was just guessing and wouldn't let me in. This isn't the first time Infocom did this, by the way. They also had a similar "no guessing" thing with a password in their earlier game Wishbringer. There was one piece of rubbish that the nerd was selling that we never saw in the LP proper - a dictionary-indexing protocol. If examined, the description is as follows: Say goodbye to ugly dictionary misery with this unique and classified, billion-dollar Department of Defense protocol for speedy compilation of dictionary indices. Indexes Chambers, Webster's, Oxford English and all other major dictionaries. No more "Where's-that-word" frustration! Just run the indexer and -- Hey presto! -- word's found As you may recall, the game will sometimes make fun of you during the character-creation form. Here are the messages that didn't appear. Last name: How embarassing for you. Street name: The bad part of town. City: What a dump. You'd better move again. Last employer but one: Now in Chapter 11. A sweatshop. Run by Bozo the Clown. Much happier without you. Name of girl/boy friend: What a dog. Still? You should have learned. Surely you can do better. One of a long line of losers. Name of previous girl/boy friend: You were better off them. Now a millionaire. Now a famous porno star. Next, some random bits of amusingness that I got from using Z-Tools to read the game's source. First, trying to enter the restaurant with the llama food. >e In many ways, bringing the llama food with you is a wise move. However, due to strict public health laws (enacted for your safety and convenience), this restaurant doesn't permit customers to bring in competing varieties of food. Better leave it outside. Trying to steal from the bookstore: >steal book Which book do you mean, the remainders or the best sellers? >remainder The City Legal Department employs 176 qualified lawyers, most of whom are hoping that you will steal the bookstore's property so that they can bring long, involved and pompous cases against you and send you to gaol. Their mothers all boast about them, oddly enough. Trying to give your burger back to the waiter: >give burger to waiter You have spoilt your food by looking at it and the restaurant is unable to take it back. This is for your comfort and safety. Also, the Pope is Jewish and California is an island off the coast of Wisconsin. Finally, some messages I found in the source, but have no idea as to how to trigger them. After one of those really deeply awkward social encounters, you are hauled off to a nearby gaol where you beat yourself up in remorse, knee yourself in the groin and viciously assault a lot of policemen's feet with your nose. "Bletcho. Pink tofu. Steve Jobs. Nobody ever wrote a good program in California."* *- Listed with the nerd's dialogue, so probably intended to be said by him. Anyway, that's just about it for Bureaucracy. Next time, I'll be doing perhaps THE greatest homebrew IF of all times, Curses. So, see you then. Last edited by Kahran042; 12-28-2011 at 08:36 AM. |