journey to the savage planet
Oh thank goodness, I had no idea where to go next;
1. Be your own boss
One of the things you're told that get's the plot going
2. Your actual boss discourages that, however
The CEO of the company is quick to interject and starts giving you direct orders as soon as it becomes clear that you've made an actual major discovery on the Savage Planet
3. Discover/despoil beautiful new places
Many of your upgrades produce a surprising amount of pollution, and your AI helpers have conveniently placed overflowing coolers of soda everywhere for your benefit.
4. Lots of in-game ads
Every time you visit your home base, you can watch an ad for a fictional product, most of which feel like Tim & Eric sketches
5. Hell of a backhand you got there, bud
Your melee attacks send smaller enemies *
flying*, which is the key to solving some puzzles.
6. That’s a complicated way to say “Jump”
The aliens who once colonized the planet left behind elaborate engraved plaques that, according to your AI companion, translate to "Jump Here"
7. Your Health upgrades don’t sound very healthy.
The alien fruit that increases your maximum health work by covering your body with rock-hard benign tumors
8. This doesn't seem very educational
Unlocking new tiers of upgrades involve performing Scientific Experiments that are really all just combat challenges, or just generally wreaking havoc on the local fauna.
9. The DLC sounds like hot garbage
"Hot Garbage" is literally the name of the first DLC campaign
10. You don’t have to sound so cheery about all my deaths
Your AI has only one tone of voice, and she is very encouraging about your many deaths
11. There *has* to be a better way to mine that
Early in the game you need to collect sources of carbon to buy an upgrade; you do thing by slapping a bird until it explodes
12. It’s a recent release
13. It came out opposite a similar game in a different genre
15. While it has similar themes to a recent popular game, it plays similarly to a popular game from about 15-20 years ago
16. Specifically Outer Worlds and Metroid Prime, respectively
17. It's not "Expedition to a Cruel World"
Self explanatory
14. Very multi-functional mushrooms on this planet
Most of the consumables you find grow naturally on plants and mushrooms,