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I was going to watch the Bob Hoskins movie in protest, but it's not streaming anywhere. The future sucks.
 
I was really hoping for a horror style poster, with Mario's smiling face creeping out of the shadows and the tagline "It'sa me" beneath.
 
What if he talks all "It is I, Mario," like that time Grimlock was smart?
I would legitimately love if they did a Ducktales thing where he’s Charles Martinet for a few minutes until a weird device makes him talk normal for a while and then at the end he’s Charles Martinet again. Second-place hope is Pratt doing a bad Brooklyn accent.

I don’t know what the ideal outcome is here. Forcing every spin-off to make all the Toads identical is still the dumbest thing that sucks out so much character. Hopefully Peach has a bit of agency in her own rescue? Whatever. I’ll definitely end up watching at some point regardless so I’ll guess we’ll find out.
 
I mean I guess the pie-in-the-sky impossible scenario would be a slapstick kids version of Fury Road that’s just set-piece after set-piece taking out the Koopalings one by one. I doubt we’d get something that fun, though.
 
I don’t know what the ideal outcome is here. Forcing every spin-off to make all the Toads identical is still the dumbest thing that sucks out so much character. Hopefully Peach has a bit of agency in her own rescue? Whatever. I’ll definitely end up watching at some point regardless so I’ll guess we’ll find out.
To some extent, I get why Nintendo would want to exert more control over what's allowed in Mario spinoffs. Just off the top of my head, TTYD had a HAL knock-off who spied on Peach in the shower and helped her create an invisibility potion that required her to be naked to be used properly.

But that said, it definitely felt like they've overcorrected that kinda thing. Like, I get if they don't want some ridiculous genocidal backstory for the guy made of paper blocks in love with a fairy or whatever, but the diversity in character designs for the Toads and other Mario series staples is certainly missed.
 
I mean I guess the pie-in-the-sky impossible scenario would be a slapstick kids version of Fury Road that’s just set-piece after set-piece taking out the Koopalings one by one. I doubt we’d get something that fun, though.
Well, now I will be disappointed, no matter what. Because I can't imagine the movie coming close to being as great as this idea would make it possible to be.

Based on his incredibly bad statement that his Mario "isn't Italian anymore, he's normal", I wouldn't hold out hope for this either.
Wow, is this a quote? I mean, probably doesn't matter, because if not, it's probably still as bad, but...wow, that IS a bad statement.
 
Based on his incredibly bad statement that his Mario "isn't Italian anymore, he's normal", I wouldn't hold out hope for this either.

While that is a very funny (terrible) quote, it is fortunately/unfortunately from some obscure satirical website, per Reuters:

 
The sad part is I was totally ready to believe Chris Pratt was that much of a shitbag.
 
Funny you should mention that.
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From the old Mario movie thread.
 
While that is a very funny (terrible) quote, it is fortunately/unfortunately from some obscure satirical website, per Reuters:

Happy to be wrong about this, then!
 
At the risk of being that guy, I don't really get the objection to Pratt as Mario from a purely an expected performance stance. I mean, he's done voices in a Pixar and the Lego Movies and he was fine to good. I'm assuming they just want sort of an everyman voice, and I expect he'll deliver a fine to good such performance.

Now, I do get it from the 'if you just needed a guy, why that one?' angle. But I expect I'm more likely to forget who's doing Mario's voice than for Pratt to make any sort of impression.
 
Anyone else watching the direct today just so they can watch the live chat scream it's madness into the void?
 
I swear that's the main reason I watch those things.

A million voices, Screaming their insane demands in silence in an audience of nobody but me.

I see you, Random weirdo spamming PUT TIFA IN SMASH.

Not nintendo, not square, not even the other people in the chat are listening to you. Your stupid demand was said to no one and ignored by everyone.

Except me.
 
In fact lemme just get my link to the stream opened up right now!

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There we go ready to see the cosmic horror of WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT

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YOU SONS OF BITCHES

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WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE

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WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
 
they still have 4 hours to turn the chat on there's still hope for us yet BEAT don't give up hope okay it's gonna be okay okay
 
Movie looked pretty good honestly, kinda surprised, but Chris Pratt's Mario voice is so underwhelming I'm amazed we had to wait a year to hear it.
 
I thought Bowser looked great. Environmental design is really good too. Pratt sounds fine. I probably won't see this in theaters, but I'll definitely watch it once it is streaming.
 
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