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The House Un-American Football Committee (The General-Purpose Soccer Thread)
- Thread starter muteKi
- Start date
muteKi
Geno Cidecity
There's a scene in Avengers: Infinity War that cuts out nearly all the remaining bits of narrative tension in the movie that's obvious to computer scientists and anyone who was involved with the IRA during the time of the troubles. After a long dissociative streak, Dr. Strange announces that he's done a search of some absurdly large number that I don't remember because I'm not the kind of guy who memorizes quotes from popcorn movies, and then, when asked in how many of those endings where they win, says, with great aplomb, "One."
Well, that's it then, we know the end of the next couple movies and who's going to win and except for the guy who at the start of the film mused about his life as a cop one day away from retirement, then, huh? And yeah, a bunch of punches and laser beams later and Avengers: Endgame ends with the good ending that our heroes found being the one that persists. Sorry for spoiling the single most financially succesful cinema ever, by the way, I hope you can forgive me.
This line of thinking punctuated my thoughts in watching the game between Sweden and Belgium. While Sweden was obviously favored to win here, I should give Belgium a lot of credit as the plucky underdogs, getting a lot of really good chances here and there, and showing a lot of skillful defensive drive to stop a lot of attacks from the Swedish team.
And maybe if there'd been a second part to their story like the Avengers had, the Belgians would have gotten to extra time, and possibly finding themselves in better shape than Sweden, pulled out a win akin to what England did in their quarterfinal match.
But Sweden attacked. And attacked, and attacked, and attacked. And while the overall consensus is that they absolutely should have done more with those attacking opportunities than they did (so many balls flying well over the goal -- only a handful of shots on target, many of which required little work out of Belgium's keeper Evrard), they finally wrote the last page of the Belgians' journey with a stoppage time goal, with Sendrick getting the rebound off another shot from a good corner kick setup, leaving no potential for an equalizer with the time remaining.
Fun moments from the game:
After a breakaway on a through ball leading to a great shot by Blackstenius getting the ball in the back of the net. Fans of gratuitous posting of eastern European languages that are just close enough to English to be parseable and/or getting extremely drunk and filming themselves visiting Ikea showrooms are surely all doing their littleGerman Swedish boy meme variations on seeing "målsituation" here -- "Min Gud! Dies gåm ist full av offsideskallen!!"
And also a shout-out to the ESPN announcers, who after one particularly compelling save by Evrard and some appreciation by her teammates, "oh yeah, she deserves that hug". Just a really :unsmith: kinda moment right there, which would be a fun reference to make if anyone else out there remembered pre-unicode emoji.
Well, that's it then, we know the end of the next couple movies and who's going to win and except for the guy who at the start of the film mused about his life as a cop one day away from retirement, then, huh? And yeah, a bunch of punches and laser beams later and Avengers: Endgame ends with the good ending that our heroes found being the one that persists. Sorry for spoiling the single most financially succesful cinema ever, by the way, I hope you can forgive me.
This line of thinking punctuated my thoughts in watching the game between Sweden and Belgium. While Sweden was obviously favored to win here, I should give Belgium a lot of credit as the plucky underdogs, getting a lot of really good chances here and there, and showing a lot of skillful defensive drive to stop a lot of attacks from the Swedish team.
And maybe if there'd been a second part to their story like the Avengers had, the Belgians would have gotten to extra time, and possibly finding themselves in better shape than Sweden, pulled out a win akin to what England did in their quarterfinal match.
But Sweden attacked. And attacked, and attacked, and attacked. And while the overall consensus is that they absolutely should have done more with those attacking opportunities than they did (so many balls flying well over the goal -- only a handful of shots on target, many of which required little work out of Belgium's keeper Evrard), they finally wrote the last page of the Belgians' journey with a stoppage time goal, with Sendrick getting the rebound off another shot from a good corner kick setup, leaving no potential for an equalizer with the time remaining.
Fun moments from the game:
After a breakaway on a through ball leading to a great shot by Blackstenius getting the ball in the back of the net. Fans of gratuitous posting of eastern European languages that are just close enough to English to be parseable and/or getting extremely drunk and filming themselves visiting Ikea showrooms are surely all doing their little
And also a shout-out to the ESPN announcers, who after one particularly compelling save by Evrard and some appreciation by her teammates, "oh yeah, she deserves that hug". Just a really :unsmith: kinda moment right there, which would be a fun reference to make if anyone else out there remembered pre-unicode emoji.
muteKi
Geno Cidecity
So let's say we have two evenly-matched teams, where one of the teams is one of the world's foremost offensive powerhouses, and another one is top-notch in defense. Which team is going to win?
If you've read the previous posts then you already can guess that the offense is going to be the one that wins it. I'm presuming that the offensive team is capable to locking down counterattacks from the defensive one, so that they don't have an easy chance to score any time they get the ball back. Hooray you know everything there is to know about soccer and how to win, I guess. Let's all go to Dairy Queen and have a party with ice cream for being such good sports.
Well, OK, but what if the defensive side is really good at not making tactical errors? That their positioning is so perfect that it's like playing against several, if not a whole team's worth of goalkeepers? That's almost what it looked like from the Netherlands, with two extremely crucial blocks by the Dutch centerback van der Gragt. Some will argue that they should have played more tightly in marking opponents, but I think zone defense strategies are equally valid, that's what the Netherlands were doing, and any look at a highlight reel will show that it was getting them incredible results.
The basic argument that things going wrong will favor the attacker still holds. Fouls between the attacking side and defensive side are going to be obviously different. A foul inside the box against the defense gives a free kick that isn't much better than a goal kick, and an offside call is about the same even if it's something that can only apply to the offense. (Note that offside is not considered a foul, Being called offside a lot is considered unprofessional, obviously, but it's not something that the referees can take you out of the game for doing. Manager probably will though.) A foul on the part of the offense is either a potential free shot on goal, or the closest thing in soccer to a free-throw, the penalty kick, when it occurs within scoring distance (the larger box with an arc around it under which plays on the ball are expected to lead to potential goals).
There's also the fact that denying an obvious goal-scoring opportunity (DOGSO, the name they didn't but should have used for Soccer Dog: The Movie, the made-for-tv feature that is so obviously a ripoff of The Big Green that they cast Olivia d'Abo in it, and so obviously a ripoff of Air Bud that, well, take a fucking guess; I've seen this movie and it's exactly as un-fun as it sounds, maybe worse) has a high likelihood to lead a player with not just a yellow card but an automatic red, getting them sent off of play and requiring the other team to play with 10 on the field (or fewer, if multiple players get one, rare though that tends to be).
All it takes is one challenge on an attacking player where you don't hit the ball. One strike of the ball with your arm out of position. Yes, at the higher leagues they have a strict standard that includes video replay to double-check the validity of the call, though ultimately it lies to the discretion of the referees to make the call and is in fact a matter of judgment, and thus subjective. A defensive team could be doing everything right but if the ball moves unexpectedly during a hard defensive play, the refs might rule it offside because the defensive player doesn't get to it.
Unlike the "hack-a-shaq" strategy in the NBA, free kicks and penalties can be taken by any player, so it's not as though there's any potential positive strategy for a defensive team for deploying them -- they should be avoided at all costs, especially with the low scores that most soccer games end in. They can and regularly do, when given, change the result of games. And the keeper must stay on the goal line in order to take them. If the ball stays in play even when the keeper manages to stop it, well, anyone can make a play on the ball, much like a free-throw.
If you didn't watch the highlight reel I linked up earlier in the description, I'm sure you can still hazard a guess as to why I'm waxing poetic on penalties (stay tuned to this thread for some free verse on free kicks, coming up in a later post). Yep, into the first part of extra time Netherlands center back Dominique Janssen fouled a French player, striker Kadiatou Diani, on a breakaway from a through ball, but Janssen didn't touch the ball, and so France got the penalty call. Yellow card on Janssen for obvious reasons (and probably lucky given the circumstances that it wasn't a red). Defensive player Périsset takes the kick, it's hit sharply to the left a little over the bottom corner and the keeper, van Domselaar, can only get fingertips to it, unable to reach it enough to get a proper block on it. Netherlands can't manage to do anything in the remaining stretches of extra time to equalize (still mostly left to play defensively), and France are through.
If you've read the previous posts then you already can guess that the offense is going to be the one that wins it. I'm presuming that the offensive team is capable to locking down counterattacks from the defensive one, so that they don't have an easy chance to score any time they get the ball back. Hooray you know everything there is to know about soccer and how to win, I guess. Let's all go to Dairy Queen and have a party with ice cream for being such good sports.
Well, OK, but what if the defensive side is really good at not making tactical errors? That their positioning is so perfect that it's like playing against several, if not a whole team's worth of goalkeepers? That's almost what it looked like from the Netherlands, with two extremely crucial blocks by the Dutch centerback van der Gragt. Some will argue that they should have played more tightly in marking opponents, but I think zone defense strategies are equally valid, that's what the Netherlands were doing, and any look at a highlight reel will show that it was getting them incredible results.
The basic argument that things going wrong will favor the attacker still holds. Fouls between the attacking side and defensive side are going to be obviously different. A foul inside the box against the defense gives a free kick that isn't much better than a goal kick, and an offside call is about the same even if it's something that can only apply to the offense. (Note that offside is not considered a foul, Being called offside a lot is considered unprofessional, obviously, but it's not something that the referees can take you out of the game for doing. Manager probably will though.) A foul on the part of the offense is either a potential free shot on goal, or the closest thing in soccer to a free-throw, the penalty kick, when it occurs within scoring distance (the larger box with an arc around it under which plays on the ball are expected to lead to potential goals).
There's also the fact that denying an obvious goal-scoring opportunity (DOGSO, the name they didn't but should have used for Soccer Dog: The Movie, the made-for-tv feature that is so obviously a ripoff of The Big Green that they cast Olivia d'Abo in it, and so obviously a ripoff of Air Bud that, well, take a fucking guess; I've seen this movie and it's exactly as un-fun as it sounds, maybe worse) has a high likelihood to lead a player with not just a yellow card but an automatic red, getting them sent off of play and requiring the other team to play with 10 on the field (or fewer, if multiple players get one, rare though that tends to be).
All it takes is one challenge on an attacking player where you don't hit the ball. One strike of the ball with your arm out of position. Yes, at the higher leagues they have a strict standard that includes video replay to double-check the validity of the call, though ultimately it lies to the discretion of the referees to make the call and is in fact a matter of judgment, and thus subjective. A defensive team could be doing everything right but if the ball moves unexpectedly during a hard defensive play, the refs might rule it offside because the defensive player doesn't get to it.
Unlike the "hack-a-shaq" strategy in the NBA, free kicks and penalties can be taken by any player, so it's not as though there's any potential positive strategy for a defensive team for deploying them -- they should be avoided at all costs, especially with the low scores that most soccer games end in. They can and regularly do, when given, change the result of games. And the keeper must stay on the goal line in order to take them. If the ball stays in play even when the keeper manages to stop it, well, anyone can make a play on the ball, much like a free-throw.
If you didn't watch the highlight reel I linked up earlier in the description, I'm sure you can still hazard a guess as to why I'm waxing poetic on penalties (stay tuned to this thread for some free verse on free kicks, coming up in a later post). Yep, into the first part of extra time Netherlands center back Dominique Janssen fouled a French player, striker Kadiatou Diani, on a breakaway from a through ball, but Janssen didn't touch the ball, and so France got the penalty call. Yellow card on Janssen for obvious reasons (and probably lucky given the circumstances that it wasn't a red). Defensive player Périsset takes the kick, it's hit sharply to the left a little over the bottom corner and the keeper, van Domselaar, can only get fingertips to it, unable to reach it enough to get a proper block on it. Netherlands can't manage to do anything in the remaining stretches of extra time to equalize (still mostly left to play defensively), and France are through.
muteKi
Geno Cidecity
Who do I think is going through to the final? I think Eng vs. Sweden is going to be a very close game, but I'm going to say that around 70' that England will score the game's only goal. This game will be very hotly contested and of the two to watch, this is likely to be the more dramatic one as the teams are just a bit more closely matched. Germany vs. France I put the edge to Germany; while France is a strong attacking team, Germany has been one of the most consistent in the tournament, and have had several more days of rest. I say 2-1 to Germany, with Germany scoring around 25' and 70', and France's goal coming in early in the second half, maybe around 56'.
This is of course all just me bullshitting about numbers -- I expect nearly all of this to be wrong except for the fact that ENG-SWE will be a much closer game than GER-FRA
This is of course all just me bullshitting about numbers -- I expect nearly all of this to be wrong except for the fact that ENG-SWE will be a much closer game than GER-FRA
muteKi
Geno Cidecity
Well I don't know that anyone expected this but, wow lmao
Certainly the Swedes didn't expect this, given the degree to which their second-half performance was marked by stressed clearances and missed defending; hell, after the first goal by Mead they looked ready to score a second one about 5 minutes later.
But what a game. Mead's perfect strike got the crowd drunk on excitement but thirsting for more, Bronze's header at the start of the second half was golden, Russo directed it backwards at the start of the endgame, and Kirby floated it in easily. Hemp that had an incredible chance on goal as well, but got it just a little too high in the end. No answer from Sweden at all, who might well be happy at this point to have simply had this nightmare end.
The beds are, in fact, pretty comfy in sportswriters' prison, for those wondering.
@Kirin, since you showed up in here, while I have no idea if the names are familiar to you, you might find it interesting that half of the scorers (Russo and Bronze, specifically) are former UNC players.
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muteKi
Geno Cidecity
It's been a while since I last posted in here (well, not that long), and the main reason I haven't is that I have a pretty long post about the lower leagues and the value of supporting football at the community levels and not just the EPL but that's quite an intense thing that's basically a summary of all the matches I had watched over the past week. I did watch GER-FRA, however, finally, mostly because it was something I wanted to put on my phone around the kittens we foster, to help get them acclimated to weird and loud sounds from the TV, so those of you wondering why the Women's Eurology series (yes, that's what I'm calling it) came to a halt, well, mostly we needed the kittens in a place where I could do that in the first place.
If you're wondering how the kittens are doing, here's a summary:
Well the only thing that might be surprising about the game is how unsurprising it was. While Germany were overall the more consistent and confident team, France did have some good looks starting at the end of the first half and going into the second but was disappointing actually making shots on target. Germany's first goal came a bit late into the first half (and much later than my initial guess) at 40', with Popp doing a very good job of reaching a cross in and making contact to get it in the net. Excellent run she had.
France's answer to this came not long after. Hitting the post after a diving save from Frohms, it knocked back in after hitting her back, counting as an own goal. The only goal to be scored to be scored against Germany in the entire competition and it's still from one of their own players. Right at the end of the first half, minute 44.
Popp got an answer back to finish off the game in the 76th minute, Popp managing to get in on a contested header from a cross coming after France cleared out the ball from a couple other failed attempts on goal by the Germans. Seemingly coming in out of nowhere and making it clear that they were not planning to lose that game.
It's a testament to how much France came back that what had been 60-30 possession in favor of Germany around the middle of the first half became nearly even (51-49 favoring Germany) by the end of the game, but the shooting stats speak to how much they were frustrated in the end, with 14 shots and only 2 on target. In comparison, of Germany's 11 shots, 4 were on target, and of course 2 of them went in. It really is the finishing that did France in, as nearly every other major stat is equal or incredibly close. The only discrepancies ended up being on fouls -- Germany committed 14 to France's 8 -- and offsides -- France called 3 times, Germany only once.
With these two goals Popp is now effectively tied with Mead for the golden boot for the competition; Mead is ahead on assists putting her in first place to win it, but any goals in tomorrow's final could be the deciding factor. Certainly it is a match that will be hotly contested -- and one to watch for sure.
If you're wondering how the kittens are doing, here's a summary:
Well the only thing that might be surprising about the game is how unsurprising it was. While Germany were overall the more consistent and confident team, France did have some good looks starting at the end of the first half and going into the second but was disappointing actually making shots on target. Germany's first goal came a bit late into the first half (and much later than my initial guess) at 40', with Popp doing a very good job of reaching a cross in and making contact to get it in the net. Excellent run she had.
France's answer to this came not long after. Hitting the post after a diving save from Frohms, it knocked back in after hitting her back, counting as an own goal. The only goal to be scored to be scored against Germany in the entire competition and it's still from one of their own players. Right at the end of the first half, minute 44.
Popp got an answer back to finish off the game in the 76th minute, Popp managing to get in on a contested header from a cross coming after France cleared out the ball from a couple other failed attempts on goal by the Germans. Seemingly coming in out of nowhere and making it clear that they were not planning to lose that game.
It's a testament to how much France came back that what had been 60-30 possession in favor of Germany around the middle of the first half became nearly even (51-49 favoring Germany) by the end of the game, but the shooting stats speak to how much they were frustrated in the end, with 14 shots and only 2 on target. In comparison, of Germany's 11 shots, 4 were on target, and of course 2 of them went in. It really is the finishing that did France in, as nearly every other major stat is equal or incredibly close. The only discrepancies ended up being on fouls -- Germany committed 14 to France's 8 -- and offsides -- France called 3 times, Germany only once.
With these two goals Popp is now effectively tied with Mead for the golden boot for the competition; Mead is ahead on assists putting her in first place to win it, but any goals in tomorrow's final could be the deciding factor. Certainly it is a match that will be hotly contested -- and one to watch for sure.
muteKi
Geno Cidecity
Well good news to all the racist domestic abusers following English football: The Euro is over and it's come home this time.
Oh wait, they don't follow the women's team? Well go fucking figure. Still, there was a hell of a turnout for the final at Wimbledon, with the attendance level of 87,192 comfortably doubling the previous record for the Women's Euro final, and it was an electric match. Lots of athleticism, and granted that it went into extra time, it was a very chippy match with both teams getting over 20 fouls called on them (20 for England, 22 for Germany).
Germany's strength was enough to ensure that they were level for nearly all of regulation: they answered Ella Toone's 62' goal from a breakaway on a long through ball from Keira Walsh with a goal at 79' from Lina Magull, a casual tap-in near the top-right corner from an excellent cross from Tabea Wassmuth.
It was in 110' where their fate was sealed. From a corner kick headed to her, a kick blocked by the goalie, she managed to recover the ball, stretching her leg to move it into the back of the net, on the other side from the keeper. While onside when she got hold of the ball, she nonetheless waited with her arms at the hem of her shirt looking to the referees before pulling it off to celebrate. A fun moment, and I think well-deserved for a very strong English team.
Beth Mead is the competition's golden boot winner; Alexandra Popp, who was tied in goal count for the honors, could not play in the match due to a muscle injury. I'm sure that fans of the German team are disappointed, as she was a significant part of the team, and had very intense play. Had she been able to play in the final, I could just as easily see the result going the other way, as this wasn't a game where the ball spent much time in midfield but constantly moving from one end to the other as each team pressed hard in counterattack.
Oh wait, they don't follow the women's team? Well go fucking figure. Still, there was a hell of a turnout for the final at Wimbledon, with the attendance level of 87,192 comfortably doubling the previous record for the Women's Euro final, and it was an electric match. Lots of athleticism, and granted that it went into extra time, it was a very chippy match with both teams getting over 20 fouls called on them (20 for England, 22 for Germany).
Germany's strength was enough to ensure that they were level for nearly all of regulation: they answered Ella Toone's 62' goal from a breakaway on a long through ball from Keira Walsh with a goal at 79' from Lina Magull, a casual tap-in near the top-right corner from an excellent cross from Tabea Wassmuth.
It was in 110' where their fate was sealed. From a corner kick headed to her, a kick blocked by the goalie, she managed to recover the ball, stretching her leg to move it into the back of the net, on the other side from the keeper. While onside when she got hold of the ball, she nonetheless waited with her arms at the hem of her shirt looking to the referees before pulling it off to celebrate. A fun moment, and I think well-deserved for a very strong English team.
Beth Mead is the competition's golden boot winner; Alexandra Popp, who was tied in goal count for the honors, could not play in the match due to a muscle injury. I'm sure that fans of the German team are disappointed, as she was a significant part of the team, and had very intense play. Had she been able to play in the final, I could just as easily see the result going the other way, as this wasn't a game where the ball spent much time in midfield but constantly moving from one end to the other as each team pressed hard in counterattack.
Jwts good job once again to FIFA for putting the cup somewhere too hot to play in summer and then moving it right to Thanksgiving week when I haven’t even had time to see who’s playing in it this year.
(I realize both that FIFA has done approx 5 billion worse things including ignoring massive human rights abuses, and that the American audience isn’t exactly first priority for footy, but nevertheless that’s my frivolous gripe of the day.)
(I realize both that FIFA has done approx 5 billion worse things including ignoring massive human rights abuses, and that the American audience isn’t exactly first priority for footy, but nevertheless that’s my frivolous gripe of the day.)