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Talking Time's Top 50 Office Supplies

Yimothy

Red Plane
(he/him)
I’d call that a bulldog, though that name could cover a few other things, including little clips for temporarily blocking blood vessels without damaging them and big clips for holding surgical drapes to the operating table.
 
Binder clips are one of the most ingenious office supplies ever invented for organizing shit. I use them all the time. The problem with them is I almost never have enough. And they're kinda expensive for something that is essentially disposable. And also big. You need to dedicate large areas for storage of even a moderate amount of decently sized binder clips. I wish you could collapse them in size somehow.
 

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator

#4
Staple remover

Score: 161 - Votes: 5 - Highest vote: 1st (Dracula)​

Torzelbaum said:
Good for removing staples (but not the best ergonomic choice). Also is fun to play / mess with - doesn't it look like the head and mouth of some kind of nasty monster?

JBear said:
Practical *and* fun. They're like a tiny angry mouth!

Dracula said:
So satisfying to use; looks like an alligator mouth; fun to clamp open and shut. The original fidget spinner.

Move over, binder clip: the staple remover is, as voted by Talking Time, the most fiddleable office supply of them all. You're lying if you try to tell me you've never used this for biting-related purposes.

Clippit said:
Behold my final form and despair!
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Ah, that's a cool one I didn't think of because I haven't received anything stapled for work in, like, a decade.
 
Those staple removers are ASS

They pokey and hurt. They don't work right. They're relatively large for stationary. And it's very easy to just rip up your paper instead of removing the staple you want removed. Nobody should own one unless they want to play pranks on people.

"Hey, you got a staple remover I could use?"
"Yeah, use this *snicker*"

However, all staple removers are not made equal. These right here, these are magical:



Not only are they smaller and easier to store and won't poke you but they remove staples easier and faster and with less collateral damage to the paper you're doin'. These right here are well deserving of being #4.
 
Not only are they smaller and easier to store and won't poke you but they remove staples easier and faster and with less collateral damage to the paper you're doin'. These right here are well deserving of being #4.

I have ripped and stabbed myself, the paper and flung a broken in half stapler into someone else using those things so hard no. Maybe there's a technique or something but as far as I'm concerned they are useless. Never had an issue with the alligator ones.
 
Wait do do you think people voted for them because they work well? People voted for the toy with teeth.
Everybody's reasonings are their own and perfectly valid. I do not pretend to know what is in the hearts of others.

I have ripped and stabbed myself, the paper and flung a broken in half stapler into someone else using those things so hard no. Maybe there's a technique or something but as far as I'm concerned they are useless. Never had an issue with the alligator ones.
This is kinda wild to me! Mechanically they work very simply and safely using a combo of simple machines. You wedge the lip under the staple, and them simply move the stapler forward, creating a slow and safe prying action by merit of leveraging your forward momentum into upward lift by pushing the wedge further underneath. If done normally, it uses almost no physical labor or dexterity and gets you very clean and safe results.


Once in a while you'll find a stubborn staple that won't simply lift up with minimal force required. When that happens, you can use the long handle as easy leverage to turn large motions into small powerful ones to safely and simply pry up the sides with a little bit of torque like so:

 
Oh, you need to have it on a surface? Yeah, that explains it. If I'm trying to get staples out of something I'm standing over the shred bin, or in lab and need to separate out the papers quickly, etc.

I am thinking really hard and cannot come up with the last time I've tried to remove a staple from something when it was on a flat surface.
 
I'm gonna be honest. If I'm shredding large amounts of documents and need staples removed, I don't bother with any kind of staple pullers. I get a pair of scissors and cut the staples out. It's way faster, way easier, and you only waste a minimal amount of paper. Plus, most of our paper recycling is going to landfills these days anyways. :(
 
Ha, fair, I've done that. My stuff has to be shredded since it has client names and compound details and such, but it's usually just a couple documents at a time.

We used to have to write the reason for shredding and initial and date the first page of every document, but thankfully that isn't a thing for me in Development.
 

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator

#3
Paperclip

Score: 165 - Votes: 8 - Highest vote: 2nd (Torzelbaum)​

Torzelbaum said:
Other materials are OK but other shapes/styles are kind of lame. They do their job well and you can also play / mess with them in other, non-intended ways.

JBear said:
Useful for binding paper, and can be unfolded to make cheap umbrella/jacket hangers in a pinch.

Dracula said:
Maybe a little overrated, and less powerful than the godlike Staple. But you can use them for lots of random stuff. The original fidget spinner.

Yimothy said:
I hope [this is] self explanatory.

Better than a binder clip? Well, you think so. The only explanation that makes sense is that you enjoy making a paperclip whip, and who can blame you?

Clippit said:
Yes! Yes!
 

Torzelbaum

????? LV 13 HP 292/ 292
(he, him, his)
It was lost in rolling the votes up but the item on my list was the oval shaped metal paper clip specifically.

My favorite random thing to make with them is a jumping paper clip. But that's not my favorite thing to do with them.
 

RT-55J

definitely not a robot
(He/Him)
I've never trusted Clippit. Part of me has always suspected that he wants everything to be a paperclip...
 

Yimothy

Red Plane
(he/him)
This was pretty low on my list and I was running out of effort for descriptions. I almost never use them to hold bits of paper together, but the paper clip is very helpful as a source of stiff but malleable wire that I can form into a hook or probe or whatever. I once played through Wonder Boy III on a nomad using a master mega converter with its pause button missing. When I needed to access the menu I poked the end of a paper clip through the hole in the cart where the button should have been and used it to bridge the contacts. There are better ways to play WBIII, but it worked.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
You know, that's a good point. I didn't even put regular paper clips on my list, but I do use them occasionally as a random piece of bendy metal.
 

Ixo

"This is not my beautiful forum!" - David Byrne
(Hi Guy)
Invaluable for poking down in the little manual eject slot when the computer won’t give your disk back.
 

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator

#2
Stapler

Score: 198 - Votes: 6 - Highest vote: 1st (Issun)​

Daikaiju said:
Swingline or nothing!

Torzelbaum said:
Swingline 747 classic square stapler. My Platonic ideal of the stapler. It is King of the Staplers. All other staplers are pretenders to its throne.

Issun said:
I kept my Swingline because it didn't bind up as much

Dracula said:
It's every kid's rite of passage to mess one of these up by trying to staple too many sheets at once.

What's with the attachment to the Swingline stapler? I feel like there's a pop culture reference I'm missing. Anyway, I believe you have a stapler...

Yimothy said:
Specifically plier staplers, the reasonably heavy handheld type. The limb is off, it's in the bag, the bag needs sealing and the specimen form attached. Fold over the edge a few times, and stick some staples through it. Chunk chunk chunk. Satisfying.

...and I believe Yimothy has a subtly different stapler.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
We're all over here using staplers on paper and Yimothy is using it for body parts.

This is another high-scorer that didn't even make my list due to not using a lot of regular paper. I guess I technically still have one in a drawer, but I'd have to check to make sure, it's been so long since I actually used it. (.... yup, it's still there. And it's even a Swingline.)
 

Issun

Let's 90s gaming
What's with the attachment to the Swingline stapler? I feel like there's a pop culture reference I'm missing. Anyway, I believe you have a stapler...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Office_Space

I voted for this list not out of any passion for the subject myself, but because I thought it would be fun to see how TT would rank such a thing (it's turned out to be pretty great, as I thought). So when I thought of my #1, I thought of one of my favorite movies and, in fact, voted specifically for the red Swingline stapler.

The line there in my blurb is also from the movie. I've been known to do a pretty good Milton Waddams impersonation.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Given the repeated "believe you have" phrasing, I thiiiiiink Mogri was having a fun there.
 

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
Well, for one thing, I was certain someone would make that post, and for another, I was pretty sure at least one person out there would legitimately not know the reference, so it's all good.
 

Yimothy

Red Plane
(he/him)
We're all over here using staplers on paper and Yimothy is using it for body parts
Just for clarity, I’m stapling the bag, not the body part. That said, there are surgical staplers, both for closing skin and for sealing structures in the body. I handle those pretty often but it’s the surgeons who actually apply them. I use a plier stapler (not sure if it’s this one but it looks very similar) because the bag that holds the limb is pretty sturdy and you need a strong stapler.
 
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