Movie Time 2.0: TT mini reviews

[Johnny Unusual]

X is good but not quite what I was expecting. Ti West is great at slow burn horror but I was hoping he'd cut loose with something a bit wilder. Still, it's a great little low key chiller looking at a fear of aging and with some big laughs and surprises.

Kid Cudi is also pretty great. More of him acting, please.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Jojo Rabbit is probably the least zany Taika Waititi movie, but it’s still… pretty damn zany, for like… 60% of its run time.

Dude knows how to keep a movie from being completely devastating even when all conventional wisdom says “Yeah joke time is over”.

 

[Neo Skimbleshanks]

If I wanted to look at something nice on my television, I would simply watch a movie, such as Andrzej Żuławski’s Possession, which you can stream via the Metrograph app if you live in the US…

I’d wanted to see this for years. I knew it was restored for theaters but didn’t know it was streaming until last night. Every moment is like the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and everyone is acting like a dang freak. Not boring at any point. No notes.

 

[Neo Skimbleshanks]

Oh, I also watched the two The Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Body Snatchers. All very much worth watching. It's really cool to see how each iterates on what came before it. (skipped The Invasion; haven't heard amazing things about) My question to Gabrielle Anwar in the last film is: who are you narrating to, queen? Seems like somebody who doesn't know bodies are being snatched. Hard to believe! Meg Tilly is incredible but it's just a really good movie imo...

 

[Johnny Unusual]

So I caught a sort of odd, obscure film on Shudder. A 1983 Halifax thriller. Reading the description, I thought "this film could either be ahead of its time or horribly offensive" but it isn't really either. It's called Siege (AKA Self-Defense) and concerns the only survivor of an attack on a small gay bar by right wing extremists during the 1981 Halifax police strike (apparently this film contains the only extant footage of the strike!). I thought "Oh, this could either be a film where gay characters get to be the hero in an action hero and/or will rely on some unfortunate stereotypes". Neither happens really, though it does rely on some unfortunate plot points because boy does this film start with "kill your gays" and the character who should have been the lead ends up in a supporting role for the people he gets sanctuary from.

So instead, it's kind of a very cheap and local b-movie Assault on Precinct 13 in an apartment building. But not like a big one. Like "there are three or four rooms in this building total". The characters... it seems to imply that they might be working for a altruistic grassroots cause but it's never clear to me what it is. Like maybe trying to help people the striking police won't? They are listening to police broadcasts, have a map of the city and seem to be waiting for something before being attacked. The cast's acting varies quite a bit. No one is unwatchable but a lot are pretty awkward. Tonally, the film is actually pretty bleak and grim but it's also quite watchable and I do appreciate these kinds of thrillers where the protagonists have effective, thought out strategies. They aren't super geniuses but this isn't an idiot plot either and they take advantage of the knowledge of where they live to win.

Overall, it's not a film I'll go out of my way to recommend but it's a pretty watchable oddity. You don't see a lot of films from the Canadian maritimes and the number that are also action thrillers are this and Hobo with a Shotgun. Also worth noting, the director was also the co-creator of Lexx and created the production company that made some pretty important CBC programs (most of them based out of Halifax) This Hour Has 22 Minutes, Emily of New Moon, CODCO, and Made in Canada. Neat trivia.

 

[ASandoval]

As far as Ring clones go, Smile is one of the better ones. I had a few nitpicks in regards to logic and tone, but the creepy stuff is really good and I really enjoyed how character focused it was.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Watched We Need to Talk About Kevin last night, partly because I confused it with John and the Hole, and partly because I thought it was like a remake of The Bad Seed.

It was neither of those movies. Well… it’s kind of like Bad Seed except told in flashbacks and the kid only makes the fact that he’s a sociopath clear to his mother. Instead this is a look at the psychological impact Of being the mother to a mass killer has on Tilda Swinton.

Anyway… umm… good job casting Ezra Miller as Kevin. Very forward thinking.

 

[YangusKhan]

I watched a movie last night that's been on my list since it came out on Netflix: I'm Thinking of Ending Things. It's a Charlie Kaufman joint ostensibly about a newly established couple visiting the guy's parents for the first time. It pretty much becomes not about that at all. Probably best to approach it like a Lynch film, and also I found it helpful to give up figuring out "what's actually happening" because that question is a red herring. Anyway it was good, but does not have a strong sense of closure at all, so you gotta be okay with that otherwise I imagine massive disappointment. I feel like you'd need to have watched and/or read a lot of the things Kaufman is referencing here in order to extract the richest meaning from the movie, but unfortunately I have not seen the musical Oklahoma! so that was mostly lost on me. Also the actress who plays the young woman is phenomenal; apparently she's in season 4 of Fargo.

 

[Rascally Badger]

I didn't post here about how much I liked Glass Onion, which was a whole lot. Maybe not quite as much as Knives Out, but my expectations were so much higher. It has the same inventive take on a lot of tried and true mystery staples, and ties it all into skewering tech bros and influences and various terrible internet people. No one has more fun that Daniel Craig. Its good.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Watched Willow, as my only exposure to it previously was renting the NES game once and recalling it being largely concerned with huckin’ acorns at stuff. And because I wanted to see the show and figured it was best to have some degree of baseline exposure.

Turns out when you give Ron Howard a really high budget to make a fantasy adventure movie, you get a really fun movie. Whodathunkit.

Easily the standout was Madmartigan, as he looks like he’s going to be the Jerk With a Heart of Gold character, but winds up being the Jerk with a Heart of a Complete Goobus character instead, and half the dialogue in the movie is everyone just being so exasperated with him.

Movie also had a stop motion two headed dragon, and naturally I gravitated towards that.

Throwing acorns was less significant than I’d been lead to believe; shame on Capcom for misleading me like that

 

[Sarcasmorator]

Oh yeah Willow is definitely the good stuff (do not read the sequel novels)

 

[jpfriction]

I can never remember anything from willow other than the rather upsetting transformation sequences, but my wife definitely remembers peak hot Val Kilmer.

 

[Violentvixen]

Watched We Need to Talk About Kevin last night, partly because I confused it with John and the Hole, and partly because I thought it was like a remake of The Bad Seed.

It was neither of those movies. Well… it’s kind of like Bad Seed except told in flashbacks and the kid only makes the fact that he’s a sociopath clear to his mother. Instead this is a look at the psychological impact Of being the mother to a mass killer has on Tilda Swinton.

Anyway… umm… good job casting Ezra Miller as Kevin. Very forward thinking.

I read the book and while good it was a very tough read. There's a lot in there I don't think I would want to see onscreen. I'm curious about one part, in the book it's implied but unclear that he ruins one of his sister's eyes with bleach or drain cleaner, did the movie make it more obvious who was at fault? I feel it'd be hard to show that on screen and still be vague.

Anyway I watched Thor Love and Thunder on the plane and had a good time. I've only watched like five Marvel movies (and I don't think the Tobey Maguire Spiderman counts as part of their canon anymore?) so I'm sure I was missing some references but still enjoyed it.

 

[Octopus Prime]

It’s not shown on screen, but given everything else in the movie, it’s clear that he did that on purpose

 

[Patrick]

Anyway I watched Thor Love and Thunder on the plane and had a good time. I've only watched like five Marvel movies (and I don't think the Tobey Maguire Spiderman counts as part of their canon anymore?) so I'm sure I was missing some references but still enjoyed it.

Love & Thunder does a good job of having the narration catch you up if you missed some/all of the other movies, so you probably didn't miss much there.

Funny enough, the 2000-ish Spider-Man movies are back to being part of the canon. In the most recent one, Tom Holland Spider-Man accidentally created portals to other worlds and now he is friends with the Tobey and Andrew Garfield Spider-Men.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I was in the mood last night for something noir or noir adjacent. Something in that comforting black and white world but still engaging. On Criterion Channel, I found the great Brute Force. It focuses on a prisoner in a high security prison not only planning an escape but going against the fascistic head of security with designs on becoming warden. It's a great, brutal little thriller with a sense of social justice as the prisoners are the antiheroes while Munsey who essentially runs the prison uses people as his toys to manipulate and torture. I'm actually surprised this hasn't been remade at least a few times. I feel like the skeleton of the story is open to multiple retellings in the same way Invasion of the Body Snatchers updated every few years. A strong recommendation from me on this one.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Even setting aside the truly regrettable casting decision of having a well known anti-Semitic misogynist playing Santa Claus, The Fat Man really doesn’t live up to its suitably Bonkers-ass, Octo-as-hell premise; A truly terrible little boy hires a hitman to go after Santa after getting a lump of coal, and Santa has to live with the twin realizations that coal is not the deterrent it once was and his crippling financial woes brought on by the fact that he just gives toys away in exchange for nothing but milk and cookies.

Also the hitman is obsessed with Santa and works as a fence who exclusively deals in gifts from the North Pole in his off time.

All of that definitely sounds like something I’d be 1000% on board with (and Present Day Gel Mibson looks and sounds enough like John Goodman that I could mentally swap the two), but everything after the set up is just a long slog. Including a long sequence of the toy making elves being drafted into the military industrial complex after Santa winds up completely out of money and being totally fine with it… kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.

Anyway; the Detective Crashmore bit from I Think You Should Leave is basically the same premise but condensed to, like, five minutes and it’s much funnier

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Finally watched Garbage Day!, a movie some people have erroneously referred to as Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2. I knew the meme and I've heard despite meme elements, it falls short of "so bad it's good" but I was curious enough and it was on Shudder so I tried it. It's weird in that calling it a movie is generous. A third of it is a literal rerun of the first movie, with the first film's antagonist retconned into the film. It's pretty audacious because apparently they weren't given a budget for a full movie. The villain of this film, though, tries to save it with some delightful overacting that calls to mind Kids in the Hall Bruce McCulloch and Mark McKinney at their most arch. Eric Freeman is chewing all the scenery and it's completely wild. Though "Garbage Day!" is the best, most bizarre part of the rampage, that whole scene is gold actually and worth the price of entry, but yeah, it's a weak film with some VERY bright spots.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Violent Night is… precisely the movie I was hoping it would be. It exists for anyone who begrudgingly unwilling to admit whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas movie, because, buddy, this is straight up Die Hard, just with Santa Claus instead of John McClane. And with John Leguizamo instead of Alan Rickman.

Similar to Fatman, which I also watched recently, it’s about a bitter, tired Santa who finds his love of Christmas reignited by visiting outrageous violence on the people on the naughty list, but I like Dave Harbour (star of the Netflix hit, Frankensteins Monsters Monster Frankenstein, and the worst Hellboy movie) inexpressibly more than Gel Mibson (misogynistic star of anti-Semitic rants) and it’s a much faster paced movie that didn’t make me stop and go “Uhhhhh…?” Even once.

This is a movie where Santa realizes he’s in trouble because his Naughty List just tripled in size, and he never picks up any of the fallen terrorists guns because he doesn’t understand technology .

that alone should tell you whether or not you’d like it.

 

[Rascally Badger]

I like Johnny Legs, but that is a downgrade.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Yeah you get the sour with the sweet

 

[Kirin]

Edit: whoops, wrong thread.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Fantasia 2000 is a pretty good film. The best stuff is Rhapsody in Blue and the one where Donald works for Noah (they did the "Donald confused by ducks" before that gag happened on DuckTales). I think the whale one is my least favourite. It got weirder for me with each celebrity introduction. Steve Martin? OK. Bette Middler, unfortunately in light of recent interviews but I get it. Penn and Teller is an odd one. For this movie.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Christmas Bloody Christmas is not a very good film but not in the way you might think. You see a horror film about a robot Santa stalking a small town and you think "OK, they are reaching camp", yet the film spends the first 20 minutes of character stuff. Unfortunately, it's mostly not very good character stuff and feels like the heroine is just being a mouthpiece for the director who wants to tell you about the pop culture he likes. And weirdly after his subpar Kevin Smith/Tarantinoing of characters doing pop culture talk, the film takes it's silly premise seriously and if the writing was better, it would be a choice to respect. But the set pieces feel depressingly repetitive (and it also has some of the worst child acting I've seen in a long time) and works neither as a pastiche or a fun thrill ride. And I have no idea what he wants to say about Christmas or the lead character. It's a bunch of stuff that happens movie and it's not fun enough to justify it. It's better than you think if you assume its one of those cheapo horror films that think it can get by on camp and blood. I think the writer/director is putting care into it. But sadly it's still not very good.

I did hear his previous film, Bliss, is pretty good. Might give that a try down the road.

 

[Lokii]

Yule Log might be the best film I’ve seen all year. Pretty great for literally nothing but 90 minutes of a crackling fire.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

For some reason I've been watching Christmas slashers were the villain is Santa despite then being uniformly bad. Or so I thought. It has its weaknesses but Christmas Evil, despite the cheeky name has a lot going under the hood.

It's less a slasher and more a dumber "Taxi Driver but with Santa". A dude obsessed with Santa wants to be him and act as both giver of gifts and bringer of punishments, stealing gifts from the toy company he works for and a rich family to give to those in need.

Yep, he does start killing but thats surprisingly not a lot of the movie. There are basically only two major murder scenes and much of it is following him around as he makes some people feel better and kills others. Then the last scene is a very wild swing into magical realism. It's an odd little movie and while I won't go raving that everyone should see it, it's definitely the strongest killer Santa movie I've seen.

 

[chud_666]

For some reason I've been watching Christmas slashers were the villain is Santa despite then being uniformly bad. Or so I thought. It has its weaknesses but Christmas Evil, despite the cheeky name has a lot going under the hood.

It's less a slasher and more a dumber "Taxi Driver but with Santa". A dude obsessed with Santa wants to be him and act as both giver of gifts and bringer of punishments, stealing gifts from the toy company he works for and a rich family to give to those in need.

Yep, he does start killing but thats surprisingly not a lot of the movie. There are basically only two major murder scenes and much of it is following him around as he makes some people feel better and kills others. Then the last scene is a very wild swing into magical realism. It's an odd little movie and while I won't go raving that everyone should see it, it's definitely the strongest killer Santa movie I've seen.

This is a great one. One Dvd edition has John Waters doing commentary.


Don't open until Christmas is fun too. Very sleazy. It's about Santas being killed

 

[Octopus Prime]

National Lampoons Christmas vacation has been watched, as is required.

Gotta say, Brian Doyle Murray responded better to being forcefully abducted by Randy Quaid than I would have

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Continuing my unintended but somehow natural Holiday horror binge, I got to All the Creatures Were Stirring, a Shudder original that doesn't even have a wikipedia page. It really doesn't need one. The worst part of the horror anthology is that the cover is a monster coming out of a Christmas tree decoration like it was an egg and that never happens. At least Ghoulies had the good sense to put a ghoulie in the toilet for half a second.

The stories involve an office Christmas party that turns "Saw", a dude stuck in a parking lot after doing some last minute shopping with some mysterious women, a dude visited by three ghosts, a man who runs over the wrong reindeer and a surprise Christmas party that ends in an overly cheerful alien abduction. And frankly, most are too cheeseball to be either funny or scary and are mostly not that great. The worst one is the riff on A Christmas Carol that really doesn't do anything interesting or clever with it. It's obvious what it is referencing but it doesn't really subvert the messaging of the original story so... it's just kind of a shittier version of the same story. The alien abduction one has the potential of being the best, as it is about someone who loved Christmas as an outsider and Constance Wu is doing interesting things with that. The best is one that actually ends right when it feels like it starts, the guy in the parking lot. When we finally reveal the monster and it's rules we don't really get to play with it and that's a shame. I feel like Christmas Bloody Christmas, this wasn't that the creators weren't trying. It doesn't feel lazy. But it's also just not very good and not nearly as clever as it would like to be.

 

[YangusKhan]

Glass Onion is just a delightful romp all around. It's absolutely clear everyone is having a great time and Janelle Monae in particular kills it imho.