Help me figure out which bullshit JRPG I want to play

[Gaer]

Last night, I woke up and sat up bolt upright and my soul spoke to me:

“I need me some bullshit. JRPG Bullshit.”


Problem is, I can’t figure out which specific Bullshit JRPG that will fill the hole in my soul.

To that end I decided to turn to TT in order to do my grunt work er, help me determine which particular brand of Bullshit JRPG that the black and shrivelled cockles of my heart truly desires.


Thus far I have divined the following hints and limitations (more may come to me later, in a dream):

Must Be:

• A pure JRPG. This means no JRPG+other genre blending, thus ruling out things like Etrian Odyssey, or Radiant Historia which absolutely drove me the wrong kind of batshit with its constant Visual Novel bad endings if I picked a wrong fucking choice and waste my godsdamned time.
• Turn-based
• Has lots of dungeon delving or exploration for treasure
• A proper gearing system aka more than two pieces of equipment like FFXIII or some shit
• The gear has to be swords 'n' bullshit, so Metal Max etc. is out
• Party based
• A full campaign, not just a proof of concept indie game
• A JRPG I haven't already played. Assume I've played every major JRPG on NES/SNES/PSX/DS/PS2 (I don't have a full list handy, sorry)

Would Be Nice:

• Just an absolute batshit Bullshit JRPG storyline, but good plot would be fine too
• 2D is a bonus, but not required
• Four or more party members in a battle
• Something I can play in bed, so Switch or 3DS

Do not show me:

• Persona-like time marking or passage thereof
• A SaGa or other Kawazu game (which, to be clear, I adore but this is not what my soul yearns for at this particular time and place)
• Tales games (I have never liked them)
• A moeblob squicky mess
• A game that goes "ha ha fooled you" like Undertale where getting the best ending means not using the battle system or being fucking obtuse about it
• PC game, cos while I have a gaming PC, I will not play a JRPG at my computer (I don’t know why either ok? My soul is fickle or something)

Tell me Talking Time. Tell me what bullshit JRPG I need in my life.

 

[aturtledoesbite]

Final Fantasy 1

 

[Gaer]

Final Fantasy 1

 

[Red Silvers]

Legend of Legaia Never mind, missed the 3ds or Switch requirement.

Bravely Default/Second? Octopath Traveler

 

[Gaer]

Legend of Legaia Never mind, missed the 3ds or Switch requirement.

Bravely Default/Second? Octopath Traveler

Didn't like Bravely Default much (Ringabel). Maybe Octopath, but I was turned off by the "trafficked prostitute with a heart o' gold who sees her best friend who also was a trafficked prostitute murdered" in the original demo. Which of course also had another chapter about a male knight where no one died.


I made an addendum: Assume I've played every major JRPG on NES/SNES/PSX/DS/PS2.

 

[Phantoon]

Octopath I think hits most of that...

Edit: I haven't played them but Earthlock: Festival of Magic and Battlechasers: Nightwar might be worth a look, maybe?

 

[Isrieri]

The game you're looking for is Mystic Ark. Its a super famicom game, but I saw an LP and can confirm you aren't gonna find anything better.

Honorable Mention: Try out Gungnir if you're up for a tactics game. It's user interface is a lovecraftian eldritch horror.

 

[Gaer]

Someone mentioned Shadow of Adam in discord and my soul is considering it.

 

[Peklo]

Does Ara Fell (Steam page for information; it's on Switch) sound what you're looking for? Not quite an informed recommendation because it's something that's been on my radar but I haven't taken the plunge yet. I imagine it's less played than some other genre stalwarts. Note that Dangen Entertainment is its publisher and you may not want to support anything they're involved with, but that's not my call to make.

SaGa and Kawazu are off the table, but on a technicality The Alliance Alive (either original on 3DS or HD remaster on Switch) is neither--the most SaGa influence you'll see in it is the glimmering new skills mechanic for battles, and the presence of Hamauzu on the soundtrack. Otherwise it's targeted strictly at people who have strong positive associations with "mainstream" 16-bit/whatever RPGs, with a design sense that places it closer to a breezy Final Fantasy than something more esoteric. I had my particular issues with it (mostly writing) but it goes down smoothly for most people who are attuned to that.

 

[dosboot]

@Gaer: You didn't mention these systems, so how about Lost Odyssey or Blue Dragon?

BTW - does it have to be good?

Just to solidify "every major JRPG on NES/SNES/DS/PS1+2" for everyone's sake...
So you've played the Shadow Hearts/Koudekla series? Beyond the Beyond? Jade Cocoon 1+2? The Ar Tonelico series?

Have you played these lesser known SNES jrpgs (or at least those that would meet your criteria?) What about Dual Orb 2 (SFC)? I've never heard anyone say its a gem, but it's a pretty standard setup. How about Vay on Sega CD?

On DS:
Naruto: Path Of The Ninja 1+2. I actually think these games look interesting and I like the sprite work from this era. I non-ironically want to find time to try it out someday, which I can't say for the rest of this post.
Magical Starsign (looks uninteresting to me, but maybe that's a selling point?)

 

[Gaer]

@Gaer: You didn't mention these systems, so how about Lost Odyssey or Blue Dragon?

Beat those. Hate the 360 controller with a passion not unlike how Dracula hates the sun.

BTW - does it have to be good?

That would be nice.

Just to solidify "every major JRPG on NES/SNES/DS/PS1+2" for everyone's sake...
So you've played the Shadow Hearts/Koudekla series?

Yes

Beyond the Beyond?

Didn't like it but yes

Jade Cocoon 1+2?

Yes

The Ar Tonelico series?

Bounced off these

Have you played these lesser known SNES jrpgs (or at least those that would meet your criteria?) What about Dual Orb 2 (SFC)? I've never heard anyone say its a gem, but it's pretty standard setup. How about Vay on Sega CD?

Have to emulate, which brings us to "No PC games", and I'd played most of those on there. Emerald Dragon was amazing on the FM Towns Marty and it was amazing on SFC.

On DS:
Naruto: Path Of The Ninja 1+2. I actually think these games look interesting and I like the sprite work from this era. I non-ironically want to find time to try it out someday, which I can't say for the rest of this post.

Anime bullshit in my bullshit JRPG? I am... unfond of Naruto as a show but...

Magical Starsign (looks uninteresting to me, but maybe that's a selling point?)

Boring as fuck with a hideous artstyle


EDIT: I want to be clear that I appreciate the suggestions. I promise I'm trying to actively avoid being annoying. But JRPGs were my thing. The problem seems to be that there haven't been any good new pure JRPGs since the PS2/DS era.

 

[Bongo]

For what it's worth, Bravely Second has far less womanizing characters than the first one.

 

[Peklo]

Maybe more dungeon-crawler than you're wanting at the moment, but Sega Ages Phantasy Star for Switch is the definitive release of one of the best games ever made, making it an entirely self-contained, self-sufficient experience even to new players interacting with over thirty-year-old game design because the documentation and usability features present in-game make outside consultation totally superfluous. It's an exemplary rerelease in every way, for new or returning players alike, so despite it being a very known quantity I want to stress how fresh this particular version can make it.

 

[Gaer]

Does Ara Fell (Steam page for information; it's on Switch) sound what you're looking for? Not quite an informed recommendation because it's something that's been on my radar but I haven't taken the plunge yet. I imagine it's less played than some other genre stalwarts. Note that Dangen Entertainment is its publisher and you may not want to support anything they're involved with, but that's not my call to make.

SaGa and Kawazu are off the table, but on a technicality The Alliance Alive (either original on 3DS or HD remaster on Switch) is neither--the most SaGa influence you'll see in it is the glimmering new skills mechanic for battles, and the presence of Hamauzu on the soundtrack. Otherwise it's targeted strictly at people who have strong positive associations with "mainstream" 16-bit/whatever RPGs, with a design sense that places it closer to a breezy Final Fantasy than something more esoteric. I had my particular issues with it (mostly writing) but it goes down smoothly for most people who are attuned to that.

Hmmmm Ara Fell could be good. I'll sniff around for reviews. Same for The Alliance Alive.

Maybe more dungeon-crawler than you're wanting at the moment, but Sega Ages Phantasy Star for Switch is the definitive release of one of the best games ever made, making it an entirely self-contained, self-sufficient experience even to new players interacting with over thirty-year-old game design because the documentation and usability features present in-game make outside consultation totally superfluous. It's an exemplary rerelease in every way, for new or returning players alike, so despite it being a very known quantity I want to stress how fresh this particular version can make it.

I've played the Phantasy Star series, I love Phantasy Star and perhaps it has been long enough to replay it with the FM sound.

 

[Cadenza]

There's a DBZ game on DS called Attack of the Saiyans that might fit your criteria? I haven't played it myself but I'm told it has similar battle mechanics to the Mario RPG's if you've played those.

I was also going to suggest Legend of Legaia but I don't think that's on PSN, sadly. Mystic Ark is a good suggestion, though!

There's also a Lord of the Rings game on PS2 called The Third Age that works almost exactly like FFX, mechanically speaking, if you haven't played it before. That's kinda scraping the barrel though!

 

[Bongo]

What if I said "Atelier" to you?

 

[WisteriaHysteria]

What about Monster Hunter Stories?

 

[Gaer]

What if I said "Atelier" to you?

*unholy hissing noises*

What about Monster Hunter Stories?

Oh that's a good one!

 

[WisteriaHysteria]

I can't vouch for the game itself, but I hear pretty good things, and I adored the anime. It's a pretty endearing and wholesome spin on the Pokemon formula, and it's pretty neat IMO to turn fearsome monsters into your stalwart companions. It's basically How To Train Your Dragon in the Monster Hunter universe. The 3DS game should be easy enough to get a hold of, but I think it's been ported to mobile phones too??

 

[dosboot]

More games I haven't played and I'm just throwing these at you:

Recent:
-Tokyo Mirage Sessions Encore. Remake of the WiiU game and has a decent fan following. Came to switch in Jan 2020.

-Fairy Tail. Anime licensed game, came out this year and is available on Switch.

-The "Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel" series. Critically liked and feels like a perfect fit for this thread, but it also feels too well known and prolific for you to not have considered it already.


Older:
Last Rebellion and Cross Edge are on the PS3 and seem like obscure enough standard JRPGs that you might not have played them. They have metacritic scores in the 40s and 50s -- everyone, please don't all run at once!

 

[Gaer]

More games I haven't played and I'm just throwing these at you:

Recent:
Tokyo Mirage Sessions Encore. Remake of the WiiU game and has a decent fan following. Came to switch in Jan 2020.

I might go with this too, since my cousin confirmed it lacked persona bullshit time nonsense

Fairy Tail. Anime licensed game, came out this year and is available on Switch.

Again not fond of the anime but..

The "Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel" series seems like it is a perfect fit for this thread, but it also feels too well known and prolific for you to not have considered it already.

They’d be a great choice but while they’re not directly connected to Trails in the Sky (fondly referred to as TiTS) they take place after. And I need to play TiTS2 and 3. And while 2 is on psp, the third is only on PC and I’m ride or die on that issue, mostly cos I know it’d just be a waste of money. Release them on something else! Even PS4! (Will never happen cos xseed are pricks.) That or I figure out an actual decent method to stream them to a tv or something from my pc.

Last Rebellion and Cross Edge are on the PS3 and seem like obscure enough standard JRPGs that you might not have played them. They have metacritic scores in the 40s and 50s -- everyone, please don't all run at once!

Big oof.

Another friend who knows my JRPG Preferred Vintages did say that Ara Fell is both 1) good and 2) absolute rollicking jrpg bullshit. So I might grab that sooner rather than later and inform Peklo/everyone on how that goes.

 

[Valentein]

RPG Maker 2000 game A Blurred Line

 

[Valentein]

Fine Romancing Walker or The Way

 

[Octopus Prime]

I feel like any random Kemco JRPG fits your criteria. Can’t recommend any specifically (the titles kind of blend together), but they’re robust, junk-food caliber JRPGs.

like eating a bag of skittles for dinner

 

[Beowulf]

I feel like any random Kemco JRPG fits your criteria. Can’t recommend any specifically (the titles kind of blend together), but they’re robust, junk-food caliber JRPGs.

like eating a bag of skittles for dinner

If you want to take this route, I can look through the list available on Switch and make recs--I've played like 20 KEMCO games on Android. That said, I'll second (third?) Ara Fell; I'll add a vote for Shadows of Adam (spiritual successor to Final Fantasy Mystic Quest with better puzzles and less grinding bullshit); and also Alliance Alive (which there's some SaGa influence, it ended up feeling very Suikoden by the end). If you decide to go SNES emulator and haven't played Treasure of the Rudras, you absolutely should.

 

[TheSL]

Must Be:

• A pure JRPG. This means no JRPG+other genre blending, thus ruling out things like Etrian Odyssey, or Radiant Historia which absolutely drove me the wrong kind of batshit with its constant Visual Novel bad endings if I picked a wrong fucking choice and waste my godsdamned time.
• Turn-based
• Has lots of dungeon delving or exploration for treasure
• A proper gearing system aka more than two pieces of equipment like FFXIII or some shit
• The gear has to be swords 'n' bullshit, so Metal Max etc. is out
• Party based
• A full campaign, not just a proof of concept indie game
• A JRPG I haven't already played. Assume I've played every major JRPG on NES/SNES/PSX/DS/PS2 (I don't have a full list handy, sorry)

Would Be Nice:

• Just an absolute batshit Bullshit JRPG storyline, but good plot would be fine too
• 2D is a bonus, but not required
• Four or more party members in a battle
• Something I can play in bed, so Switch or 3DS

SMTIV Apocalypse satisfies...all of these requirements? For example, this is the final dungeon map and it took me like 8-10 hours to get through alone.

 

[Mogri]

Stranger of Sword City, as long as you don't mind a first-person perspective (with auto-mapping).

By the way: You can play PC games from your bed or toilet or whatever via Steam Link, available as an app for most devices. Works especially well for games that are not lag-sensitive, such as Stranger of Sword City (which is available on PSP or Vita or something as well).

 

[Kazin]

They’d be a great choice but while they’re not directly connected to Trails in the Sky (fondly referred to as TiTS) they take place after. And I need to play TiTS2 and 3. And while 2 is on psp, the third is only on PC and I’m ride or die on that issue, mostly cos I know it’d just be a waste of money. Release them on something else! Even PS4! (Will never happen cos xseed are pricks.) That or I figure out an actual decent method to stream them to a tv or something from my pc.

So play TiTS2 and 3! Apparently if you have a hacked Vita you can play 3 Evolution on there. They're so goodddddd Gaerrrrrrrrrr

 

[JBear]

Stranger of Sword City, as long as you don't mind a first-person perspective (with auto-mapping).

By the way: You can play PC games from your bed or toilet or whatever via Steam Link, available as an app for most devices. Works especially well for games that are not lag-sensitive, such as Stranger of Sword City (which is available on PSP or Vita or something as well).

Steam Link is available as an app? I had no idea! Can... can we play Monster Train in bed? Certain persons are very interested in the answer to this question.

 

[Mogri]

Yes, and I have done that as well.