Sign up for my Only Fans to see me write this post with my dirty little toes
First up, and easily the most enticing release by far, is a Lucasarts two-pack; Zombies Ate My Neighbors and Ghoul Patrol, the muchly (and rightly) beloved co-op shooter where you run around a monstered-up suburbia, laying havoc on the varmints what be trying to murd' up your local community! Then you can do it again with a great deal less fanfare in it's vastly less inspired sequel. Now there's a save system instead of passwords, which is GOOD because passwords make you start each level with the starting weapons instead of what you picked up along the way which makes them useless for late-game levels.
As for Ghoul Patrol... well... it's one of the few games that violates the "This is the game I had as a child, so it is therefor beyond reproach" rules. It's not *bad*, but it's so far below its predecessor that it can't help but disappoint. YOU ALREADY STRUCK GOLD ONCE, LUCASARTS! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST STRIKE THAT SAME GOLD AGAIN!
And speaking of re-releases of older games that I had high hopes for and wound up being disappointed by, we also have Destroy All Humans! which is a gussied up re-master of the 200...3? sandbox game of the same name! I can't help but imagine that the games sense of humor has aged like a carton of fine milk (the early 2000s was not a great time for "jokes"), but there's always a certain level of joy to be had by just going ham on a place with space weapons, and now there's a bunch of DLC and cut content from the original game slapped in willy-nilly. Nearly every mission is still pretty simplistic and repetitive, but... you know... you can shoot a guy in the butt so hard his brain pops out.
That's something.
Onirike is one of SEVERAL arts-em-up platformers this week, and it's the one that's more stop motion and spooky-lookin'. Not so much like Nightmare Before Christmas more like... I don't know... 9? Maybe those commercials bumpers on Teletoon late at night in the mid 90s? Someone else here must know what I'm talking about.
Anyway; walk around a weird spooky place and see weird spooky guys and platform a bit. You know; video game things up a bit.
And speaking of spooky guys who are actually friendlier than their pricklier exterior would imply; we have Disgaea 6: Defiance of Destiny. And that's *basically* a description of every Disgaea game, so I feel like I'm right on the money with that description here. This time they actually changed up the visuals a little bit, as everything is simple, attractive polygonal models instead of sprites. Can't speak as to any other changes made to the formula, but it's Disgaea, so I can't help but think that they're playing things conservatively in terms of introducing new mechanics.
Sky: Children of the Light is the other artsy-style emote-em-up platformer, from the makers of Journey. ANd it looks just like Journey, except with Bird People instead of Cat People, and with grass instead of sand. You can "Soar and explore to uncover the mystery", so says the games bullet points, and all it costs you is NOTHING AT ALL!
This weeks arcade game is none other than Raiden! I'm not at all versed in the rest of the series, but I deifnitely know I sunk moer than three quarters into Raiden whenever I passed it in the Arcade! I retain no memories of the experience save that you had a plane, and it was red.
And the last thing this week, so far as I am aware of, is Doki Doki Literature Club +, a Books-em-up that has nothing whatsoever to do with Super Mario 2 save for the fact that it's bright, candy coloured visuals hide a stark and terrifying psychological nightmare. Whether anything in this game can match the heights of Phanto chasing you... I don't know.
Probably not.
Definitely not.
First up, and easily the most enticing release by far, is a Lucasarts two-pack; Zombies Ate My Neighbors and Ghoul Patrol, the muchly (and rightly) beloved co-op shooter where you run around a monstered-up suburbia, laying havoc on the varmints what be trying to murd' up your local community! Then you can do it again with a great deal less fanfare in it's vastly less inspired sequel. Now there's a save system instead of passwords, which is GOOD because passwords make you start each level with the starting weapons instead of what you picked up along the way which makes them useless for late-game levels.
As for Ghoul Patrol... well... it's one of the few games that violates the "This is the game I had as a child, so it is therefor beyond reproach" rules. It's not *bad*, but it's so far below its predecessor that it can't help but disappoint. YOU ALREADY STRUCK GOLD ONCE, LUCASARTS! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST STRIKE THAT SAME GOLD AGAIN!
And speaking of re-releases of older games that I had high hopes for and wound up being disappointed by, we also have Destroy All Humans! which is a gussied up re-master of the 200...3? sandbox game of the same name! I can't help but imagine that the games sense of humor has aged like a carton of fine milk (the early 2000s was not a great time for "jokes"), but there's always a certain level of joy to be had by just going ham on a place with space weapons, and now there's a bunch of DLC and cut content from the original game slapped in willy-nilly. Nearly every mission is still pretty simplistic and repetitive, but... you know... you can shoot a guy in the butt so hard his brain pops out.
That's something.
Onirike is one of SEVERAL arts-em-up platformers this week, and it's the one that's more stop motion and spooky-lookin'. Not so much like Nightmare Before Christmas more like... I don't know... 9? Maybe those commercials bumpers on Teletoon late at night in the mid 90s? Someone else here must know what I'm talking about.
Anyway; walk around a weird spooky place and see weird spooky guys and platform a bit. You know; video game things up a bit.
And speaking of spooky guys who are actually friendlier than their pricklier exterior would imply; we have Disgaea 6: Defiance of Destiny. And that's *basically* a description of every Disgaea game, so I feel like I'm right on the money with that description here. This time they actually changed up the visuals a little bit, as everything is simple, attractive polygonal models instead of sprites. Can't speak as to any other changes made to the formula, but it's Disgaea, so I can't help but think that they're playing things conservatively in terms of introducing new mechanics.
Sky: Children of the Light is the other artsy-style emote-em-up platformer, from the makers of Journey. ANd it looks just like Journey, except with Bird People instead of Cat People, and with grass instead of sand. You can "Soar and explore to uncover the mystery", so says the games bullet points, and all it costs you is NOTHING AT ALL!
This weeks arcade game is none other than Raiden! I'm not at all versed in the rest of the series, but I deifnitely know I sunk moer than three quarters into Raiden whenever I passed it in the Arcade! I retain no memories of the experience save that you had a plane, and it was red.
And the last thing this week, so far as I am aware of, is Doki Doki Literature Club +, a Books-em-up that has nothing whatsoever to do with Super Mario 2 save for the fact that it's bright, candy coloured visuals hide a stark and terrifying psychological nightmare. Whether anything in this game can match the heights of Phanto chasing you... I don't know.
Probably not.
Definitely not.