Big hands, small ribs, can't lose
Kicking things off this week with Fallen Legion: Revenants, the sequel to a game which I have purchased a while ago and have still yet to play beyond the tutorial level. I'll get there some day! What we have here is an RPG much like Valkyrie Profile, but with all the tedious dungeon crawling removed and replaced with extra People Chatting about political intrigue. And also it's set in a Fantasy World instead of in a Thor comic.
And to be fair, there is basically no difference between a Thor comic and a fantasy novel.
Azur Lane Crosswave is a game from Idea Factory so I am already apprehensive before opening up the eShop page. It's a game about customizing load-out for battleships before engaging in wide-spread naval battles. Not dissimilar to... err... I want to say Seagunner? There were a bunch of 'em on PS2 back in the day. Big difference is that, since this is an Idea Factory game, instead of boats, it's buxom anime women you're customizing. To be fair, and this could just be from selective curation of screenshots, it doesn't look nearly as horny as the average Idea Factory game, especially since the game is built around adding heavy armor plating and gun turrets to anime women.
Cathedral appears to be a troids-em-up starring a little knight guy in a 8-bitty world chock-a-block with tresures and secrets and the like. And it's from the same peeps (or at least the same publisher) as the Alwa's games. So... that's a pedigree I can get behind. Kind of looks like if Shovel Knight was an exploration platformer. I'mma think I may well gamble on this fresh nonsense.
Now, are you deeply respectful and in awe of the medical profession? Of course you are. Now, do you personally have any expertise with the healing and treatment of other people? Now... before you answer, let me follow that up with another question; do you think that any of the fancy-pants book-learning that doctors get in their so called schools can compete with the wisdom you can gain from studying the position of the planets and stars? Of course you don't. And so, we have Astrologaster, the video game that finally marries the jobs of physician and astrologer! Consult your astrolabes before auguring how to treat someone for frequent urination! Do a good enough job and maybe you can finagle the queen into addressing the fact that you aren't legally a doctor!
Persona 5: Strikers is a musou-style beat-em-up starring the crazy kids from Persona 5! Including the DLC guy from Smash Brothers who remains the single most inexplicable inclusion in that series! I have little affection for the Persona series, so I can't really speak any authority on this game beyond that fact!
And speaking of things I don't know enough about to speak at length about, we have Anodyne 2: Return to Dust! Did you know there was an Anodyne 2? Heck, I barely remember Anodyne 1! But while that game was built like an NES game, this'un is built like a PS1 or Gameboy Color game; with you hoping into peoples brains to clear out the troubles they've got percolating up in there.
Most people psychological problems take the form of monster-filled puzzle-dungeons, I've come to realize.
And speaking of surprise sequels to forgotten eShop releases, we have Doom & Destiny Advance! Which is, in fact, a sequel to Doom & Destiny, another game I plum forgot existed until now! It's a JRPG, it purports to be hilarious, which probably means it's got some memes in it.
Kids love memes, right? They're nuts for that stuff.
Next up is not an Arcade Archives release, but it is a Neo-Geo game! Neo-Geo Pocket Color, that is! SNK vs. Capcom: Match of the Millennium has beaten the odds and been released on a modern console! It's... probably the second best crossover fighting game to heavily involve Capcom released in the year 2000 and is one of the best reasons to have picked up a NGPC back in the day. And now it's the best reason to buy a Switch in the year 2021! Take the cast of King of Fighters (circa 1999) and Street Fighter and assorted hangers on and have them BASH KNUCKLES TOGETHER. Then if that gets boring, play any one of a number of minigames built around franchises from both companies!
Video Games! All the live-long day!
And shucks, we ain't done talking about unexpected, but welcome, ports of portable games to BIG TV consoles; because we've also got Stephen Universe: Unleash the Light, free at last from the gulag that is Apple Arcade where, like most people, I plum forgot it existed all together. Assuming it holds true to the previous games, this is one of the better class of licensed video games, and is a Paper Mario-inspired side-story based on Stephen Universe (this one taking place somewhere in between the main series and Future).
And finally, we've got four more games for NESflix. And if you predicted any of them, then you, sir, are a liar. We've got Doomsday Warrior part of the post Street FIghter fighting game boom of the early 90s, this one has a dino-man and a T-1000), Prehistorik Man (part of the far less explicable Caveman-themed video game boom of the early 90s), Psycho Dream (legit never heard of this before now, I get some Alisia Dragoon vibes from the trailer, at least?) and Fire n Ice (the *pretty legit* Solomons Key sequel that everyone forgets about)
And that's everything I know about as of the Early Afternoon a day before a Nintendo Direct, so expect me to have to update this thread.
Kicking things off this week with Fallen Legion: Revenants, the sequel to a game which I have purchased a while ago and have still yet to play beyond the tutorial level. I'll get there some day! What we have here is an RPG much like Valkyrie Profile, but with all the tedious dungeon crawling removed and replaced with extra People Chatting about political intrigue. And also it's set in a Fantasy World instead of in a Thor comic.
And to be fair, there is basically no difference between a Thor comic and a fantasy novel.
Azur Lane Crosswave is a game from Idea Factory so I am already apprehensive before opening up the eShop page. It's a game about customizing load-out for battleships before engaging in wide-spread naval battles. Not dissimilar to... err... I want to say Seagunner? There were a bunch of 'em on PS2 back in the day. Big difference is that, since this is an Idea Factory game, instead of boats, it's buxom anime women you're customizing. To be fair, and this could just be from selective curation of screenshots, it doesn't look nearly as horny as the average Idea Factory game, especially since the game is built around adding heavy armor plating and gun turrets to anime women.
Cathedral appears to be a troids-em-up starring a little knight guy in a 8-bitty world chock-a-block with tresures and secrets and the like. And it's from the same peeps (or at least the same publisher) as the Alwa's games. So... that's a pedigree I can get behind. Kind of looks like if Shovel Knight was an exploration platformer. I'mma think I may well gamble on this fresh nonsense.
Now, are you deeply respectful and in awe of the medical profession? Of course you are. Now, do you personally have any expertise with the healing and treatment of other people? Now... before you answer, let me follow that up with another question; do you think that any of the fancy-pants book-learning that doctors get in their so called schools can compete with the wisdom you can gain from studying the position of the planets and stars? Of course you don't. And so, we have Astrologaster, the video game that finally marries the jobs of physician and astrologer! Consult your astrolabes before auguring how to treat someone for frequent urination! Do a good enough job and maybe you can finagle the queen into addressing the fact that you aren't legally a doctor!
Persona 5: Strikers is a musou-style beat-em-up starring the crazy kids from Persona 5! Including the DLC guy from Smash Brothers who remains the single most inexplicable inclusion in that series! I have little affection for the Persona series, so I can't really speak any authority on this game beyond that fact!
And speaking of things I don't know enough about to speak at length about, we have Anodyne 2: Return to Dust! Did you know there was an Anodyne 2? Heck, I barely remember Anodyne 1! But while that game was built like an NES game, this'un is built like a PS1 or Gameboy Color game; with you hoping into peoples brains to clear out the troubles they've got percolating up in there.
Most people psychological problems take the form of monster-filled puzzle-dungeons, I've come to realize.
And speaking of surprise sequels to forgotten eShop releases, we have Doom & Destiny Advance! Which is, in fact, a sequel to Doom & Destiny, another game I plum forgot existed until now! It's a JRPG, it purports to be hilarious, which probably means it's got some memes in it.
Kids love memes, right? They're nuts for that stuff.
Next up is not an Arcade Archives release, but it is a Neo-Geo game! Neo-Geo Pocket Color, that is! SNK vs. Capcom: Match of the Millennium has beaten the odds and been released on a modern console! It's... probably the second best crossover fighting game to heavily involve Capcom released in the year 2000 and is one of the best reasons to have picked up a NGPC back in the day. And now it's the best reason to buy a Switch in the year 2021! Take the cast of King of Fighters (circa 1999) and Street Fighter and assorted hangers on and have them BASH KNUCKLES TOGETHER. Then if that gets boring, play any one of a number of minigames built around franchises from both companies!
Video Games! All the live-long day!
And shucks, we ain't done talking about unexpected, but welcome, ports of portable games to BIG TV consoles; because we've also got Stephen Universe: Unleash the Light, free at last from the gulag that is Apple Arcade where, like most people, I plum forgot it existed all together. Assuming it holds true to the previous games, this is one of the better class of licensed video games, and is a Paper Mario-inspired side-story based on Stephen Universe (this one taking place somewhere in between the main series and Future).
And finally, we've got four more games for NESflix. And if you predicted any of them, then you, sir, are a liar. We've got Doomsday Warrior part of the post Street FIghter fighting game boom of the early 90s, this one has a dino-man and a T-1000), Prehistorik Man (part of the far less explicable Caveman-themed video game boom of the early 90s), Psycho Dream (legit never heard of this before now, I get some Alisia Dragoon vibes from the trailer, at least?) and Fire n Ice (the *pretty legit* Solomons Key sequel that everyone forgets about)
And that's everything I know about as of the Early Afternoon a day before a Nintendo Direct, so expect me to have to update this thread.
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