"Becoming an egg? OK... Getting fertilized? OK..."

[Purple]

So a friend of mine just mentioned some fuzzily remembered episode of The Magic Schoolbus and it sounded entirely too implausible in entirely too many ways that this could possibly ever have been a real thing that was produced and aired. So naturally I did a quick search and found the whole episode and...

WHAT

THE

HELL!?

There's an earlier bit where the bus, having been turned into some sort of weird mecha-fish, catches and eats a real, living fish, and that feels like the sort of moment where we officially cross the line from slightly dark whimsical adventure to "oh this is actually a horror movie" you know, like when the cute little alien devours a small animal or petty criminal?

But the real money shot... which... yeah I'm actually using that in the traditional sense even, comes around 15:30 and just... how did this get through standards and practices!? How are the kids so cool with this under the circumstances? How much am I meant to be dwelling on the fact that I guess their DNA is all half-salmon now? WHY DO THEIR EYES LOOK LIKE THAT?

And then you notice how much runtime is left and like... are we... are we going to go through a whole second generation of this body horror?

Also like... I've met a lot of people who saw stuff a lot less freaking weird and quasi-sexual as this at about the age of what was presumably the audience for this and they were profoundly changed by those experiences, so I'm kinda surprised there isn't some whole corner of the internet dedicated to salmonization kink.

 

[Sprite]

For all the Bill Nyes and Beakmans in the world I don’t think anyone will ever match the sheer terror of Miss Frizzle’s chaotic neutral Wonka energy. Though I have to respect the flex of acquiring reality-warping magic powers and using them to become an elementary school science teacher.

 

[Purple]

OK yeah, there's other horrible child-endangering Warlocks out there but... see Merlin pulled the ripcord before things got weird with the horny squirrels.

 

[Mightyblue]

I mean, there's a rather large amount of comics (and not just porn) devoted to random dude *read, comissioner* turning into anthro animals and the like.

 

[Becksworth]

For all the Bill Nyes and Beakmans in the world I don’t think anyone will ever match the sheer terror of Miss Frizzle’s chaotic neutral Wonka energy. Though I have to respect the flex of acquiring reality-warping magic powers and using them to become an elementary school science teacher.

When you’ve mastered the mysteries of the universe, things like wealth and societal influence lose their meaning.

 

[Zef]

I have never seen this show, it didn't make it to Mexico at any point (I believe) but Ms. Frizzle has so many quotable quotes in here just waiting to be turned into memes.

"I just love it when everyone thinks!"

"We took the bait!"

And then the bus turned into a duck at the end.

Will it lay eggs.

Will the kids be the eggs.

 

[Büge]

Ask @BEAT about his Magic School Bus twitter thread.

 

[Purple]

I mean, there's a rather large amount of comics (and not just porn) devoted to random dude *read, comissioner* turning into anthro animals and the like.

OK sure, your standard furry transformation stuff, that's everywhere. But here, it's not that the kids are turned into fish. They're turned specifically into fish eggs. Then we get our salmon money shot. Then we're met with this utter horror.

 

[Zef]

The animators didn't have to go the extra mile of drawing the veins and yolk and whatnot in the sac, but go the extra mile they did. And they did it gladly.

(They also didn't have to draw a shriveled up yolk sac as the kids "fed" from it, but they did.)

 

[BEAT]

Ask @BEAT about his Magic School Bus twitter thread.

DID I DIE IN SPACE JANET?!

 

[BEAT]

Ms Frizzle is obviously some sort higher level of being.

I theorize she's some sort of entity that exists in 6 dimensions and therefore is able to manipulate the kids four-dimensional universe as easily as you or I would manipulate a 2-dimensional drawing.

And when you're faced with the impossible on a daily basis, and have seen the walls of reality crumble before your eyes so many times, resorting to more drastic measures just becomes par the course.

Hence Arnold dying in space to prove a point.

 

[BEAT]

The point he was proving was "I AM METAL AS FUCK."

 

[Violentvixen]

I never watched the show but had all the books, and wow. I absolutely do not remember the books being anything like this craziness.

I kinda love it.

 

[BEAT]

Yeah the books were basically just 2nd grade science lessons with some antics in the background for flavor. I don't think most of the kids even had names.

 

[WisteriaHysteria]

I remember the show vividly, and it was just as horrifying to a little kid as it was to all y'all as adults looking in the rearview mirror.

What's more horrifying is that I watched most of these episodes in public schools

 

[Ludendorkk]

Ms. Frizzle her class on a field trip inside one of her student's asshole without the knowledge or consent of any of their parents, in real life her teaching license would suspended extremely quickly

 

[BEAT]

You think someone like THE FRIZZ could be be stopped by paperwork?

That THING that looks like a redhead with interesting taste in dresses has transformed her class into water, and then turned them back into humans with no apparent ill effects.

She's visited both earth's molten core and the Permian–Triassic extinction for fun.

I don't think you could stop her by asking her if her credentials are up to date.

 

[q 3]

"No one will ever believe you, Arnold."

 

[Lokii]

Ms. Frizzle her class on a field trip inside one of her student's asshole

If you know a better way to teach kids about the lower digestive track I’d like to hear it

 

[Zef]

If you know a better way to teach kids about the lower digestive track I’d like to hear it

The bus turns into a raisin and oatmeal cookie.

The kids are the raisins.

 

[Purple]

Ms. Frizzle her class on a field trip inside one of her student's asshole without the knowledge or consent of any of their parents, in real life her teaching license would suspended extremely quickly

How do you know they aren't being asked? How do you know they're still alive? She may well have disappeared them, Anthony style, to avoid interruptions.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Does Ms. Frizzle work on the same principle as a Cenobite?

Once you enroll in her class she will have such things to teach you?

 

[Ludendorkk]

You think someone like THE FRIZZ could be be stopped by paperwork?

That THING that looks like a redhead with interesting taste in dresses has transformed her class into water, and then turned them back into humans with no apparent ill effects.

She's visited both earth's molten core and the Permian–Triassic extinction for fun.

I don't think you could stop her by asking her if her credentials are up to date.

Spoken like someone who has never had to deal with the local Board of Education

 

[Zef]

What if the Board of Education is from the same place she comes from.