Just What is an Edge Fencer, Anyway? Let's Play Summon Night Swordcraft Story 2!

...With quite a bit of success.


See what I meant earlier about the complete lack of subversion going on here?


Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt to give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen, besides the totally annihilation of Aera's self-esteem?


Hey Dinah shut up I don't see you helping.


Uhh...


Ouch. Aera really botched her Persuade check, didn't she?


Excellent! Are we finally going to resort to violence? (It's the solution to any problem you will ever encounter!)

...wut?


You have got to be [redacted][censored][expletive deleted] me!


Hey if he wants to remove himself as an obstacle, I say let him!


I'm not sure I like the way his expression changed when he said that.


Glad you volunteered!


Oh come on! Wait, "again"?


Just when we seem to be stuck, Byron has an idea!

Plus one fish tail and minus two legs?


There's certainly that too.


Uh... as far as I can tell from her sprite up there, she's either wearing a couple seashells, or nothing at all. (Her portrait seems to show a white top that's not on her sprite, though)


Huh, I guess that answers our question!


Uh... sure!


Okay has this game just jumped the shark? Because I'm pretty sure we just jumped a shark.


Hey that's not a bad idea.


Of course! If anyone can help us, it's Lynn!

Come on, let's not discount Tatiana entirely right off the bat! She might have some valuable perspective on this!


*Bamf*


Uh, Aera?


...Yeah.


OBJECTION! (Warning: TVTropes link)


Because nothing that ever happens around here could be classified as normal?


Although when you put it like that, we really entered an entirely new frontier of bizarreness.


This is one of the few scenes that's actually better if you picked Edgar. Because he says exactly the same thing.

Yes, his brilliant plan is to cross-dress in Lynn's clothing. To up his sex appeal. Really.

Lynn's mind is racing. Aera wants to look sexy... but for who!?


Doggie <3's got a point.


Has anyone checked for a fever? Or brain parasite?


At this point I think we'd save time by listing what's NOT wrong.


See, if you'd mentioned that part sooner, we wouldn't have had to waste time while the supporting cast debates calling the men in white coats. (Oh who am I kidding that was funny)


Aww, isn't he sweet? We should totally ditch Dinah and sign him on as GB.


"Also I don't have anything that would fit you."

Organ transplant.

SEXY organ transplant.


Great. Where are we gonna find one of those?


Wait a second. Did she just manipulate Aera into admitting that she's the sexiest girl she knows? Diabolical!


She's totally going to want something in return.


"First, take off your pants."


That sounds like a good plan.


Now she sounds like Dinah, if Dinah had even a little faith in Aera.


That's our Lynn!

And at this point, most players will turn right around and warp back to the Subterrean Bay and talk to the Aqua Element again.

But not us. We have other women to check with. Next time, because this update is already gigantunormous enough.

This just took a turn for the bizarre.

Or it would have if the game hadn't already gotten stuck on the Bizarre Roundabout.

Coming up next: BEST SCENE EVAH

When we last left off, Lynn wanted to be taken to the Aqua Elemental.


And we said, nay! The LP readers deserve to be shown this totally awesome scene hiding way back in town!


("Sexiness" is what she named her gun)


What's there to explain? She's going with Lynn down to the beach and they're going to act sexy there.


Haha, Tatiana preempted the fade to black.


Forcing Aera to talk in parenthetical second person. For the first and only time in the entire game.


And there goes Dinah, trying to get us in trouble again.

No Dinah, close your mouth before you get us in any more trouble!


What!? Traitor!


Wow, you're trying that again?


Oh come on! He didn't even think about it!


Will Aera ever find the ability to put her foot down and Just Say No? (Answer: No.)


Jealousy, or suspicion?


Oh come on, everyone knows that little sisters don't have feelings.


Aww, is somebody getting jealous?

Well, that's one way things could have gone. But using the power of video games we can explore what would have happened if things had gone differently....


And by "touchy" we mean "involves a lot of touching." If you know what I mean.


Hahaha.


That's more like the Tatiana we know and keep being a jerk to.


And she runs off.

You know, I feel kinda bad for her.


Everyone gang up on Aera!


Sure, that's exactly what you were thinking.

For a moment I thought that read "rough" instead of "tough" and was all set to make another double entrende. Sigh.


So Lynn is fine with being used like a tool.


And thus we see who really runs this town.


Sure am!


Oh right, we pissed Tatiana off. We should rewrite history a little so that doesn't happen.


There we go.


And while we're here we patch up our weapons.


And have a foursome on the bed.

See, like many RPGs, Swordcraft Story uses the Party in My Pocket (Warning: TVTropes) trick where when cutscenes end, the secondary characters simply walk into Aera and disappear. Thus, the Aera sprite currently represents four characters: Aera, Dinah, Lynn, and Tatiana. So when said sprite is in bed, that means all four of them are in bed. Together.

Ergo, as promised, four girls sleeping together in one bed.


Anyway, let's see what we can do with this.

Weapons made of sand don't sound all that great.


But electric sand? Sign me up!


Cha-ching! Incidentally, this exact same guy asks you the exact same question on the previous day, but if you tell him no he keeps the money for himself.


It's actually pretty amazing that they put all this effort into these scenes that are completely optional and many people will never see because the game tells you to go right back to Aqua Element after meeting up with Lynn.


Man her insistence that she's sexy is getting kind of creepy considering she's, what, 12?

Gabe works quick to defuse Tatiana's rage.


Sure, but first let's hit Select!


Needs more alliteration!


Dammit Dinah, why you gotta be harshin' the tards?


Sure we do.


See, was that so hard? Tatiana is already registered from Xeride's hacking yesterday.


This is a montage sequence.


Oh man, we are going to ask so hard your head will spin around. Like an owl. Or that girl in The Exorcist, only without the vomit.

Sure, go ahead. We could use a laugh.


Man you'd think Aera would know to bite her tongue by now.


Get on with it!


*drumroll*


Wait, what?


Uh...


"I really liked your innocence, but come back later after you've lived a little and had your innocence destroyed."


Once again, I think Dinah speaks for us all.


See, he knows what's up.

That's a strange need.


What? How was that not good enough?


O.o


WHAT? I'll "not enough" your FACE! (What does that even mean?)


Seriously, what's this guy's major malfunction?

What a cad!


Lynn uses Instant Rejection!
It's Super Effective!


I might have felt bad for this guy if not for all the grief he's caused us.


Uh... have you considered offering the girl something she might actually like? I hear she digs Summonite Gems.


Well that might not be such a bad idea, considering all the crap she's said today.


Lynn's got her heart set on Aera, it seems. Poor Rocky's gonna be heartbroken again.

Well, she doesn't make unreasonable demands of everyone, threaten suicide, and is actually of the same taxonomic class.


Oh right, Lynn's also a lesbian.


Wait, what happened to being a pacifist?


Video: Vs. Aqua Elemental
Mr. Elemental is a big fat meanie with several attacks that come out fast. Particularly his trident stab. Well, It's unlikely he'll be able to kill you before you kill him as long as you bring healing into the fight, but the same can be said of pretty much every battle in the game.


And thus ends the tale of Aqua Element and his short-lived love. See, if we'd just resorted to violence in the first place, we wouldn't have had to put up with this crap.


Finally! Good riddance!


Hey! She's doing it again! That's like the fourth time today!


And of course, since Aera has no further need of them, she sends Lynn and Tatiana home. How's that for gratitude?

You know, seriously, it's not exactly a maze. You go south from here, and don't walk into any walls or into any water, and you'll get back to Bruno.


Okay, that seems a little cruel.


Everyone wave goodbye!


And now that she's out of earshot, let's talk about her behind her back!


How about we talk about Lynn some more?


Oh yeah, that fight totally busted up my knuckles, so let's fix that by grinding some rocks against it.


And just past there is a recovery panel! How convenient.


And to round out the update, Dinah levels up and learns Enchant Wind!


And on the very next screen we start finding Elewaters, palette swaps of the Aqua Elemental. They sure didn't waste any time reusing that asset. Also, they drop additional Vortex Crab Claws. Sometimes.


Anyway, next time! A sword, a crossdresser, a crustacean reptile, and twue wuv.

AHA HA HA.... ah.....That was so great. Definitely one of the game's high points. Lynn is just amazing. I'm sad she Tatjiana didn't have one of her anger fits against Mr. Fish Man, though.

That's probably the screen that made me laugh the most, though.
It's great that each of these sword fetch quests have such interesting characters and run-ins accompanying them.

That was, in fact, pretty fantastic. Nearly lived up to its four-girls-one-bed billing! Awkward lesbian overtone hijinks, how we love you.

Also new to the second half of the dungeon are these giant mutant frog things. I think they're actually technically slimes.


Because they do this. Then when they attack they form a head at ground level and stick out their tongue. It's pretty gross!


Anyway, the game wastes no time in making us choose another switch. I go with green because it's my favorite color.


Score! Although we already have a ton of this stuff.


Shortly after that we come to another set of switches! This is getting complicated (except not really).


I'm also getting quite a bit of use out of Chain Spark, which kills off the small fry in one go, leaving the big guys with no backup to interrupt my attacks and leave me open to counterattack.


And there goes another level.


I hope you didn't forget that spears can hit chests and barrels from further away than other weapons. Not that it's at all rewarding in this case...


Oh hey there's Dinah's level up. Speaking of Dinah, let's see what she has to say about recent events. Select button, go!


Such a team player, as usual. Though I too was hoping to see what she would have tried. But what's that over there in the upper left corner?


It looks exactly like the other one, so it must be!

O.o "Gadzooks?" What century is he from?


Man I don't even care even more. Nothing this game can do can surprise me anymore.


Did someone say fetch quest? I thought I heard someone say fetch quest.


Edge Fencer Power, Activate!


You'll have to do better than that!


Uh... right... Why would they Graham set that up here but not have done the same at the Ruined Factory? But fine, if that's how it's gotta be, we'll get the stupid rock.

Bizarre? No, of course not! This isn't suspicious in the least...


Oh sure, now we have to go find the rock instead of continuing to grill the mermaid.


Oh geez we can't get anywhere without running into a cutsecene today! This is literally right around the corner from the Daemon Edge.


You say that, but it isn't even your body.


Oh well, so much for asking.


We really only knew him for a day. For all we know, he's gay.


Violence! It solves everything.

Hey I think maybe Sarin was making that part up.


Yeah good luck with that.


Aera, you let her just walk away one second ago.


And then, more switches!


And more chests! This is something we'll actually need fairly soon.


Oh yeah there's one of these here too.


Man, Aera's just levelling up like a fiend today.


And there's a second set of switches. But they got lazy and only put two here.


And an Elewater finally drops one of these.


And MOAR CUTSCEEN! Something knocked the crossdressing right out of Byron!

Hey look who's here! A giant lobster with dragon heads where there should be claws. Oh, and Passeau is here too, freaking out.


Well, where there's a boss, there's usually a plot token.


Passeau graduates from blubbering incoherently to fleeing in terror. Dammit, we need that body.


Video: Vs. Lobsta Dragon

The Lobsta Dragon illustrates a very strange trend in fantasy: taking something and making it a dragon. It kind of takes the meaning out of the word. Dragons are supposed to be big reptiles, and while green dragons, black dragons, even gold dragons all stil fit that template, where do we end up when we let things like ice dragons, chaos dragon, or lobster dragons into our bestiary? What comes next, candy dragons? Puppies and sunshine dragons? It's nonsense! Anyway, this creature is obviously a dragon lobster because it is clearly a crustacean, not a reptile.

What, the fight itself? Well, he's not all that tall or fast, and I've got claws on, so it's just a matter of jumping over him and smacking him in the back repeatedly. Since we got Astral Guard recently I use that so even if I take a hit or two it doesn't slow me down.


Well, we should specify that she wasn't escaping from us.


Awesome, let's give it to Sarin so she'll let us take the sword.


Oh come on, we just had a boss fight! Cut us some slack!


That's better.

And with the power of FADE TO BLACK, we give the mermaid her stupid rock.


This is where I make fun of Aera for being dumb. Again.


Two swords down, two to go!


Surprising and shocking! I had no clue she wasn't 100% honest--*cough* *hack* Sorry, I almost choked on my own sarcasm there.


Great, what are we, some kind of delivery service? We've got important stuff to do, dang it!


So what's so important about it anyway?


Holy crap, legs!


Dang it, if people keep complimenting her, she'll never stop grinning.

And Harem +1! Awesome!


Hey, experts agree that mermaids are awesome. And this one has the totally awesome bonus of avoiding that entire conundrum about whether you should get the mermaid with the fish tail and human torso or the one with the fish head and human legs.



Well maybe you should have thought of that before you got beat up by a lobsta. Whatever that is.


So she says, but it's actually Aera's choice if she wants to take Sarin home. And Aera was about to refuse anyway.


Aw drat, he dropped an L-bomb. And we were so close to having the only harem on EarthLyndbaum with both a ghost and a mermaid!


"Dreamboat?" That's almost as bad as "gadzooks."


Uh... nice metaphor?


Uh, maybe we should let them have some time alone?

Hey! Stop that!

Next person to compliment Aera today gets banned from the LP!


Well I guess it's a good thing that Aera almost stole her away.


I don't think that's love. Ick, I stepped in some of it.


Well, right there on the front of her clothes is a big red broken heart. It's a lifestyle, I guess?


Time to go home, hide the second sword, and take a walk!


But as soon as we warp we land in an ambush laid by the Cutscene Brigade.

I'm sure she was just doing what comes naturally.


I look forward to when we get her her body back and she promptly walks into a wall or something.


For that matter, how'd Ryouga find the Ruined Factory? Let's end the conversation there and not pursue the matter further!


She's talking about bathing together. Obviously.


She's really playing up her devil-nature today, isn't she?


Anyway... since we've got Sandstone Ore to spare, when we get back to town I craft up the next strongest ring.


Of course, there's still one more cutscene to go before we can take a walk...