He knows about timed hits! Let's play Super Mario RPG!

Not typically -- I've done a few, but only when I was really bored or to experiment. Most of what I know about challenge runs comes from listening to other players attempt them. I like my creature comforts too much to voluntarily deprive myself of them.

I've done a low-level challenge in FF6... right up until the first espers, at which point I could harvest many levels worth of stat boosts more for my characters. That was kinda fun...

Welcome back. Last time here at Let’s Play Super Mario RPG, we kicked Yaridovich to the curb and collected our fifth Star Piece. Now for my favorite part of the job: The adulation of the grateful masses.



A few steps away from where we put the kibosh on Yaridovich, we find a Shed Key, which will open the building where the real villagers were being held.



Johnny is nowhere to be found, but he was nice enough to leave us a note. Man, this guy sure went from “Grr, we must kung fu fight” to “BFFs!” in a hurry, didn’t he?



Onwards…



The real villagers are so stunned to see us that they jump about a foot in the air. I guess Mario just has that effect on people.







Each of the villagers gives us some perfunctory thanks before heading back to work. Geez, what kind of a welcoming is this? Seriously, I only saved you from a slow, miserable death.

The Elder is a bit more verbose, as Elders tend to be. Seriously, though, I’m thinking parades, key to the city, all of it. At least he has the sense to give us an actual reward — this ain’t a charity!



The Elder’s reward gets worse if you let Yaridovich tickle him. He downgrades it to a Flower Jar, then a Flower Tab, and then (I assume; I’ve never actually gone that far) nothing at all. To get the Box, you have to hand over the Star Piece the first time Yaridovich demands it.



Now that order is restored to Seaside Town, all those shops that were closed during the Yaridovich regime have reopened. There’s startlingly little to buy here, however… We’ll probably make our exit having spent less than 100 coins in total.



Our first stop is the weapons shop. As you can see, this shop sells every weapon type we’ve encountered so far and some new ones besides.

The only thing we need to buy here is the Double Punch, Geno’s next weapon. I like to get the Troopa Shell as well, but if we were really hurting for cash, the Masher could get us by for a little longer. The Ribbit Stick and the Parasol, new weapons for Mallow and the Princess respectively, are unnecessary (at least to me) because by the time we use either character again, another weapons upgrade will be available. Incidentally, I think that this is the first game in which the Princess uses a parasol, something that’s now become her signature accessory…

That “Hammer”, by the way, is not the same as the Hammer we picked up from the Hammer Bros. so long ago. It’s actually a “lucky” Hammer — if you kill an enemy with it, you’re guaranteed to get the “Lucky!” bonus at the end of the battle. It still has the attack power of a regular Hammer, though, so it’s not that great…

The armor shop, amazingly, has nothing new for sale, so we pass it and move onwards…



…To the health food store, which sells your typical array of consumables. Normally I’d stock up on Maple Syrups for the long road ahead, but this is unnecessary, as we will soon see.



Next door, the Mushroom Boy has quite an elaborate scam going on. According to him, the Mushroom Boy is in the hunt for certain varieties of “special” Mushrooms hidden amongst the regular kinds, and he’d like to look over our inventory for the good stuff. The catch? To determine whether or not a Mushroom is “special”, he has to eat it. If the Mushroom is one of these “special” types, he’ll give you an item for it, but if it’s not, he just kind of laughs at you.

If your skepticism meter just went through the roof, you are not alone. I mean, how can we even tell if he’s being honest or not? It’s not like you can examine the evidence — you have to take his word for it. I bet he’s like one of those guys who runs rigged shell games on street corners, letting the mark win every once in a while as a show of good faith. He probably just eats every Mushroom that comes in, says “Oh, wow, Berry Mushroom, here is your Maple Syrup” at random every ten customers, and spends all his profits on pot. I’m onto you, Mushroom Boy. You look a little old to be a “Boy”, too — how about some ID?



Nintendo Power’s guide said that only Mushrooms found in the Forest Maze had a chance of being special, but as you can plainly see this is not true: I bought both of these Mushrooms next door at the health food store. There are three types of “special” Mushrooms the Mushroom Boy will identify, each rarer than the last: Berry Mushrooms (wins Maple Syrup), Rippin Mushrooms (wins Rock Candy), and Flower Mushrooms (wins Flower Tab). This is the only place in the game where you can earn unlimited Rock Candies, so we have to play his game, I suppose.



The final shop in this area (barring the Beetle Shop, which I’ll get into much later) is the Accessory Shop, which sells exactly what it says on the tin. Other than Rose Town, this is the only place in the game where you can finish up your set of status effect prevention Badges, but we’ve already caught ‘em all, and with the Safety Badge and Ring it’s not like they’re in high demand anyway.

Next stop: The Elder’s house, where the man in charge is happy to give us some exposition. It seems that the reformed monsters over at Monstro Town have been bragging about some star they’ve got up there, so we need to go check it out. Unfortunately, this means that we’ll have to travel through the vast nature preserve known as Land’s End to get there.



Our next goal thus decided, we head north to a new mini-map, and prepare our assault on Land’s End.



The first few screens of Land’s End are steep, rocky areas that require the use of cannons and moving platforms to proceed. The cannons require pretty decent timing to get them to shoot you to where you need to go…



Hidden treasure chest count: 24/39

There are also a metric ton of hidden treasure chests in Land’s End. Believe it or not, I actually dumped this Red Essence because I didn’t have room for it…



The enemies here are a relaxing change of pace after the tough fights of the Sunken Ship. They give lots of experience, and by and large are so weak that you don’t even need to Blast them.



Here’s Mario showing off his new Troopa Shell.



After a few fights in this area, Bowser makes it up to level 15, where he learns the spell Crusher. While spending a ton of FP on a single-target spell that is frequently weaker than Bowser’s regular attack has always been a dream of mine, I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass on that particular aspiration. On the other hand, giving up on that dream might actually give me a chance to survive and beat the game.



With the enemies cleared out, it’s now time to scour this area for treasure. First, we jump here to reveal a hidden platform.



Then we jump again to reveal a second, better-hidden one.



Making our way back to the cannon, we shoot as far as we can…



The second platform we revealed moves to catch us, allowing us to collect both the Frog Coin in the visible chest…

Hidden treasure chest count: 25/39

…and the Kerokero Cola in the invisible one.



In the next area, we cross this ridge while being bombarded by Geckits. Falling here means having to start over, so ignore the falling lizards and concentrate on making your jumps.



Of course, we do get into a few fights here and there, causing Mario to reach level 15 and the Princess level 14.



All told, Land’s End is probably my favorite area in the game. Moreover, it’s my favorite for reasons that are entirely personal to me.

You see, one of my favorite feelings when playing a game is knowing that I’ve come really far and done a lot in the game, but also knowing that I’ve still got a long ways to go and a ton to do. Endings depress me — when I can see the ending of a game on the horizon, I start to get a little disheartened, because that means it’ll all be over soon. I like the feeling that I’m really knee-deep in a game, neither just starting nor about to finish.

My first time through this game, it look me literally weeks to get this far, and when I did, I was absolutely astonished that the game still had such an expansive area in it. If you look at the map, you might think that Land’s End is another one of those intermediary areas like Booster Pass or Rose Way — a few screens and then you’re done, but Land’s End went on and on and on. It was almost like the game was telling me “You’ve come a long way, but you ain’t seen nothing yet.” I love that kind of thing.

A lot of people don’t like this — they feel like they always need to be making detectable forward progress towards the end, or they get frustrated and bored. I do not. I suppose this is the reason why I tend to be more forgiving of filler than most — I can identify it in retrospect, but where most people get a new quest and think “Bleh, filler”, I think “Cool, more stuff to do!” It wasn’t until I’d beaten Tales of Symphonia several times, for example, that I noticed that much of it is just fetch quests and other forms of filler. I can see where other people might criticize that kind of thing, but when I was actually playing through it, I was in full-on “knee-deep mode” didn’t even notice it.

The other reason I like Land’s End is that it is one of my favorite childhood memories. The first time I played it was during one of those glorious Saturdays you had as a kid where you got up nice and early, turned on your system, and played all day, not even noticing the hours slipping by, until your mom made you turn it off and come to dinner. Land’s End and Monstro Town sucked up one of those days for me, and I’ll always remember them for that.

Anyway…



This area is filled with bees and the bizarre Octovaders (both repaints of enemies first found in the Forest Maze). They’re quick, dodge frequently, and make heavy use of status effects, making these fights ideal places to Geno Blast. They don’t give too much experience, though, so avoid them if you can.



Mallow joins the rest of the team at level 15.



Hidden treasure chest count: 26/39

This treasure chest is a little tough to hit… It’s not visible, but it’s still physically on the map, so if you don’t jump at just the right time, you’ll hit the side and bounce off instead of hitting the bottom to reveal it.



Hello, what’s this?

If you wait for a tiny wisp of smoke to appear here and then jump…



…You’ll fall into a hidden underground passageway!

This place is crawling with enemies, but there are some treasures here as well, so let’s get moving.



Enemies like the Kriffid, which appears occasionally in enemy groups in this area. Kriffids are one of the few minor enemies who don’t die to a Blast, and they’re powerful enough that letting them live can be dangerous. I like to Whirl them right off the bat to remove them from play.



Geckits will frequently get confused and start attacking their fellow monsters. I have no idea why — they’re the only enemies in the game who do this, and they’re not dangerous at all, to either the enemies or us.



After reaping the generous experience gains from the enemies in this area, Geno reaches level 17, learning his final spell, Geno Flash. Geno Flash blew my mind as a young kid; I’ll have to look for someplace to show it off. Game-wise, it’s not as useful as Geno Blast, but it’s still your best line of attack against multiple-enemy bosses.

Hidden treasure chest count: 27/39

There’s a hidden treasure chest down here, but that’s only the second-most compelling reason to explore.



The real reason is that when you reach the end, you come out in a familiar locale.



Now that we’re here legitimately, we can win the Cricket Jam. If you’ll recall our eavesdropping on wishes back at Star Hill, this froggy delicacy is desired by Frogfucius, and he’ll pay top dollar for it.



While heading back the way we came to get back on track, the Princess hits level 15 and learns Mute. Mute silences enemies, which isn’t very useful… most of the time.



Back in Land’s End, these spinny flower things from Bandit’s Way have returned, and we must use them to scale this cliff.



In the next area, a Shaman challenges us to cross the Sky Bridge. For ten coins, we can attempt to cross these Donut lifts while a cannon at the other end fires Bullet Bills at us. We have to jump the Bills and keep moving forward so that the lifts don’t fall. If we tumble, a Shaman at the bottom will give us a free lift back up, but we lose our money.



Make it to the other side, and the Shaman will reward us and offer to double our bet if we can do it again. There are three difficulty levels: Normal and Special just win coins, but Expert wins Frog Coins. This place is just a curiosity, however, because there are easier places to earn both.



Exiting this area drops us into the desert, where a friendly Rat Funk is willing to guide us the rest of the way to Monstro Town. He tells us to follow the ants through the whirlpools in the sand to make our way underground.



The Land’s End desert is littered with these whirlpools. You’ll notice that one of them is guarded by an armored ant called a Shogun — this one is the correct way forward. (Enter any of the others, and you’ll be sent back a screen.)



If you can bounce off a Shogun’s head three times in a row without landing, you’ll win 20 coins and a Frog Coin.

The Shoguns aren’t about to let you into their tunnels without a fight, though — to proceed, you must fight a trio of them at each new whirlpool you enter. These are tough fights if you’re underleveled: Geno Blast wipes them out in one shot, but if you don’t have it, you need to use regular attacks to break through the Shoguns’ armor.



Additionally, they attack with the Carni-Kiss move, which takes big chunks out of your HP.



Bringing down Shoguns gets Mario up to level 16.



Most of the time, the Shogun will remain stationed on one whirlpool, but in areas where there are two whirlpools that move around rapidly, the Shogun will switch rapidly between them, trying to fake you out. My advice is to stay near one and immediately pounce if the Shogun appears near there.



This wisp of smoke has a small chance of appearing randomly in every area of Land’s End and Belome Temple. If you attack it…



“Okay, men, I’m pretty sure we can take this empty space, but for Miyamoto’s sake be careful.”



In this, uh, form, regular attacks always miss. Instead, you’ll need to zap Formless with magic of some kind…



…Causing the real villain to appear. (Note that the transliteration here is inconsistent — in the text boxes, this guy is called “Mokuka”, but in the targeting screen, he’s called “Mokura”.) Either way, he’s the enemy Bowser summons in his Poison Gas spell, but now he’s out to get us.



Mokura attacks with a selection of powerful lightning and ice magic, and is probably just a touch too powerful for a party of our level to take at this point. Nonetheless, he doesn’t have too much HP, and goes down to regular attacks before he can wipe us out.



I’ve never quite understood Mokura. He’s got boss music, but he doesn’t give you anything except experience for defeating him, he begins reappearing as soon as you beat him, and no one else in the game even mentions him. There’s a story here, but damned if I know what.



As we near the end of the desert, we run across the titular Land’s End, a sheer cliff that even Mario can’t jump.

Nothing to do here for the moment… We’ll have to come back later.



Killing the final Shogun group forces Geno up to level 18.



…And entering the final whirlpool drops us into the underground. Lots of enemies here, but no worries…



Because a star at the beginning of the area allows us to rip through them without even having to fight once.



The experience earned from these non-fights brings the Princess up to level 16.



The final room in Land’s End is swarming with Geckits. Defeating them would take forever, but I know a shortcut.



Behind a wall of crates in this room, a Shaman offers us a star for 400 clams. Not a Star Piece, but good enough for emptying this room…



…Earning us a slew of level ups.



Evidently someone in the ancient past deemed Belome — you know, freaky four-eyed monster from the Kero Sewers, likes to eat people and/or turn them into scarecrows — to be worthy of worship, and constructed an underground temple to house their faith. Let’s not think too much about that and move on…



To proceed into the depths of the Temple, we must pay this Shaman 50 coins, then hit the Belome statues in any order to receive a fortune. More importantly, the block the fortune drops in on is a convenient platform into the Temple.



Your fortune determines what you get in the next room, but is meaningless other than that, so pick whichever order you want. I like R-M-L myself.

“Great items” is evidently code for “100 coins”. But I’m not even going to scoff at it after spending 400 on that star. With a different fortune, you can get a Frog Coin or a Yoshi Cookie here, or even a group of enemies.



The next room contains four treasure chests, two of them hidden. The first contains 150 coins.



Hidden treasure chest count: 28/39
Hidden treasure chest count: 29/39

The second is on top of the first, and contains a Frog Coin. The third and fourth contain Frog Coins as well.



Nintendo Power’s guide was under the impression that certain fortunes got you this message, which allows you to pass, and the rest got a different one, which sends you to a dead end. In my experience, however, this is random: If you get the dead end message, just exit and reenter until you get the message allowing passage. It can take a few tries, but I’ve gotten to Belome’s room with every possible fortune.



Anyway, we take the lift down to the bottom floor, then enter the pipe…



…Placing us into the presence of the revered Belome.



Belome’s got a few new tricks this time around. He’s ditched his Scarecrow Funk spell for Light Beam and Aurora Flash, which cause sleep to everyone. (The latter also deals a ton of damage, so watch out.) Additionally…



Um.

For the record, Mario is sour, Mallow is sweet, Geno is bitter, Bowser is “repulsive”, and the Princess is “peachy”. (Ha!) The clones Belome produces have more or less the same skillsets as their source material: Mario and Bowser are brute force physical attackers, Mallow is an offensive caster, Geno does both, and the Princess heals. Geno and Bowser have the most HP, but Mallow and the Princess have the most annoying spells, so take your pick…



Don’t bother attacking the clones — if you destroy them, Belome will just make more. Instead, focus your attacks on Belome — he has surprisingly little HP this time around and can be defeated with very little trouble.



Once Belome takes off, he leaves his clones behind, at which point they can be easily destroyed.



Destroyed by, for example, Geno Flash. Geno Flash was the flashiest move I’d ever seen as an eight-year-old, and I probably overestimate its coolness just on that basis alone. First, Geno stands in a pillar of light to charge the attack…



Then he backflips, transforming into a cannon…



Which proceeds to shoot a fireball…



Which transforms into a sun…



Which then explodes, wiping out the enemies. Pure awesomeness, says I.



Belome leaves behind a switch, which opens the gate to Monstro Town.

…And so will I, in… the next update.

Next time: Still, the road is full of dangers

When I was young, I loved the hell out of this game- though I stuck a little too close to the player's guide. I always had to go back for those "special" mushrooms >_<.

Man Belome was awesome. Okay, more because he was like Kirby, but still...

If you let the elder be tickled too many times, he says something about tickle torture, and then gives you 1 coin.

Level 19 already?! I wasn't even that high up when I fought Birdo in Nimbus Land! I must be terrible at this game.

I don't think I was even level 19 when I fought Smithy!

Also, this is the seocnd LP to convince me that the Nintendo Power Guides were full of lies!

Lies, tricks and slander!

I used to enjoy being knee-deep in a game as well, with games like Final Fantasy VII being less of a 70-hour marathon than something that I'd keep digging into to find more. That feeling of being deep into a game and there being more was an exciting feeling, as it tapped into that part of me that didn't quite want to let go yet and gave me something to run wild with in my free time. I don't really feel it much anymore, what with a growing list of games to play and dwindling free time, but some games have been known to invoke that special feeling (Persona 3, Etrian Odyssey) so it's not quite dead yet.

Huh- Bwa? There's an optional boss in the area? Holy crap, there's quite a bit I missed while playing this game, it seems.

You can also fight Mokura in Belome Temple.

Yeah! I discovered that by mistake once!

Unfortunately, I didn't know the secret of getting it out of its "formless" phase, so I got my butt kicked >_<.

Formless/Makkuro always bugged me, because he was really hard to beat, and the reward was pitiful.

Man, Powered Up Johnny is kind of frightening. He's all teeth.

BTW, ever read the thoughts of the clones with Mallow's "Psychopath?" Mario thinks "..." and Geno is like, "STAR PIECES STAR PIECES" but I can't remember the others.

Quickie status report: A combination of holiday festivities and unforeseen computer problems has caused production of this LP to be stalled indefinitely. The computer thing should be taken care of by the end of the week, but that means it looks like I won't be meeting my deadline of the end of the year. I still hope to finish by the end of my winter break, but I'm not sure whether I'll even be able to do that. I am still committed to finishing, but don't look for further updates until sometime after Christmas.

Welcome back — at long last — to Let’s Play Super Mario RPG. A combination of debilitating computer problems and my receiving a Wii for Christmas put this LP on indefinite hold, but in between trying to remember all of my bookmarks and dying horribly at Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, I have cranked out another update.



We pick up our story at Monstro Town, home of reformed monsters. The Elder back at Seaside Town gave us the word that there's a star hidden here, so it's up to us to investigate.



For a collection of hideous monstrosities who are abominations unto our Lord, the residents of Monstro Town are among the most helpful NPCs in the game. Instead of going on and on about chopping wood or how they can jump higher than Mario, every single "person" here has an interesting piece of advice to share or an item to give. For example, our rat buddy from back in the desert tells us of a crazy old geezer he met in Rose Town. This is actually a pretty important tip, because said crazy old guy is key to getting the best weapon and armor in the game and he doesn't appear until after you've rescued the Princess, so a player playing through the game normally might miss him entirely without a heads-up.



In the same room, a chest monster tells us a fabulous tale regarding hidden treasure chests, and smugly points out that we still have 10 to find.



On the shelf, Monstro Town's star plays a little tune and dances for us. I've been gipped!



Downstairs, a Pinwheel has been pressed into service as a common fan. Like all sensible people, Mario likes it cool, so he cranks it up.



Monstermama is the head honcho here at Monstro Town, and the only person you have to talk to here in order to move the plot along. Once we inform her that we're after stars, she invites us to go take a look at the Monstro Town star. That's sweet, but your star is one in every sense of the word except the one I want. What else you got?



Monstermama tells us that since we've reached Land's End, we'll have to start scouring the skies to find our Star Piece. Problem is, to get there we have to scale that huge cliff in the Land's End desert. Monstermama offers to introduce us to a guy who can help.



At her call, Sergeant Flutter and the Sky Troopas make their entrance.




It actually does take 8.52 seconds between Monstermama's call before the Sky Troopas enter. I timed it.

Monstermama quickly explains the situation, and asks the good Sergeant to give us a hand with scaling the cliff.



It was actually at this point in my initial playthrough that I got hopelessly lost for a while. I'd completely missed the cliff on my first pass through Land's End, and was utterly baffled when a new location failed to appear on the world map. I talked to everyone in Monstro Town, played the Three Musty Fears' game, beat Jinx, even uncovered Culex, but nothing allowed me to proceed. I ultimately stumbled onto the cliff while wandering around Land's End looking for anything I missed. In fact, this update is filled with stuff I fell into ass-backwards my first time through the game.

Before running off to further the plot, let's take a few moments to explore Monstro Town a little further.



Next door to Monstermama's place is this Chow, who's a Super Jump enthusiast. He counts the number of times you can Super Jump (or Ultra Jump) in a row, and offers prizes for crossing certain thresholds. At 30 jumps, he gives you the Attack Scarf, a Mario-only accessory that raises all of Mario's stats and allows him to use Jump specials on enemies that are invulnerable to jump. At 100, he hands over the Super Suit, by far the best armor in the game.

On a console, I can do 30 or 40 jumps in my sleep, but emulator lag has supressed my numbers this time around. I did an 18-jumper a little later in Bean Valley, but that's probably going to be my record for this playthrough.

...I'm ashamed to admit that as many times as I've played this game, I've never been able to do 100 Super Jumps. It's virtually the only thing in this game that I've never been able to do.



The Piranha Plant on the shelf there is sick of listening to the guy next door. He's the only character in the whole game who has anything at all to say regarding Culex, the game's super-tough hidden bonus boss, and the only one who will give you a hint as to the item you need to face him.



Also in this house is a macho Thwomp. He doesn't have anything too terribly interesting to say, but if you talk to him seven times...



A key, which was perched precariously above the doorway, will drop.



The next door is "sealed", not locked. That means it's not a key that will get us in, but something else entirely. We could actually go and challenge Culex right now were we so inclined, but he'd destroy us, so we'll deal with him later.

In the shop, Bowser sees a familiar face.



Goomba explains himself, and offers to make up for his desertion by severely overcharging us for crappy items.



Bowser's in a surprisingly forgiving mood, however, and declines to rip his rebellious minion to bloody shreds.



The only thing of interest here is the Spiked Link, Bowser's next weapon, and his best one until the endgame. The Courage Shell is still not a superior armor to the Work Pants, and the rest of his stock is common consumables that we could buy anywhere.



Goomba's kids also want to help, and they have "Mushrooms" for sale. These Mushrooms will "recoer" 30 HP, right enough, but they also turn the subject into a mushroom. It's too bad you can't give them to the Mushroom Boy, but I guess they're a little too special even for him.

I kind of wonder what the deal is here. I mean, yeah, joke item, but it's not like anyone's going to be beating down the door when they discover that the Goomba Triplets are selling Mushrooms. I don't even have enough room in my inventory for Mid Mushrooms, which heal 80 and don't turn you into fungus.



The "inn" here is actually the home of the Three Musty Fears... yeah, I get it... who allow visitors to stay for free.



But they also haunt you during the night, so you have to wonder.



Anyway, it seems that the afterlife is as boring as it gets, because the Fears are challenging random passerby to a worldwide game of "Find the Flag". Each of the three will hide an invisible flag somewhere around the world, and we have to hunt 'em down and bring 'em back.

Greaper and Dry Bones's flags aren't too tough to find... It's not a great stretch to think of Rose Town's sign for a "wooden flower", and Mario's Pad actually contains the only green bed in the whole game. The Big Boo's flag, on the other hand, is quite deviously hidden, and is another of those things that I ran into purely by accident my first time through the game.



The prize for doing the find the flags event is the Ghost Medal, an object of questionable value. What "raises defense while attacking" means is that if you kill an enemy while you're wearing it, you're guaranteed to get the "Defense up!" bonus, for what that's worth. It does sell for a cool 800 coins, though.

Note that the Fears equip the Medal directly to Mario when they give it to him, so if you're going into battle don't forget to switch back to the Safety Badge or whatever.



Hidden treasure chest count: 30/39

Near the exit to Monstro Town is another hidden treasure chest. We're almost done with this whole quest — only three more areas in the whole game have hidden treasure chests to find.



The final (accessible) house in Monstro Town is Jinx's dojo, where the tiny kung fu master Jinx dispenses martial arts advice and accepts challenges. The master isn't in currently, but someone else is...



Another of Bowser's former minions, Jagger the Terrapin.



Jagger claims to be training so that one day he'll be strong enough to help Bowser beat Smithy. As with Goomba, Bowser readily forgives his wayward soldier.



Jagger offers to pass the time waiting for Jinx to return with a friendly sparring match. Mario, always willing to accept a challenge, agrees.



I, uh, didn't actually get any shots of this fight. It goes by really quickly if you're at all leveled, and Jagger doesn't have any particularly interesting moves.

Jagger is falling all over himself to compliment Mario's strength when the man of the hour himself, Jinx, returns.



Oh, yeah? Well we'll just see about that!



You can actually fight Jinx three times. In the first bout, he goes easy on you, with only 600 HP and low (for him) stats. In each subsequent round, he ups the ante a little more: In the second fight, he has 800 HP, and in the third, 1000. His stats and moves also get better the more you fight him. It's evident that the designers intended you to take each fight at different points in the game: Jagger and perhaps Round 1 now, then Round 2 after Nimbus Land, maybe, then Round 3 before heading to Bowser's Keep. Nuts to that, though; we're doing all three fights right now.



Jinx is invulnerable to all elements except jump and his defenses are good, so a steady barrage of regular attacks is the best method for defeating him.



The dirty little secret about Jinx is that all his moves are physical, which means that they can be blocked, blunting some or all of the damage. If you just try to trade blows with Jinx he'll almost certainly defeat you (because if you don't block, he deals tons of damage), but blocking keeps you in the fight long enough to wear him down.



In all three fights, Jinx uses the Valor Up spell to raise his defenses. What varies is the timing: In the first fight, he won't use it until he's nearly dead, but in the third he'll use it towards the beginning.



Yeah, that's what I thought.



Whatever you say...



Round 2: Fight!



Round 2 goes much the same as the first, except that Jinx uses more moves and is generally tougher. The only thing to note is that Jinx adds the instant death move Silver Bullet to his arsenal during this round, but this, like all his other moves, can be blocked.



Note that Geno perished during this fight; during the first two rounds, it's usually not worthwhile to bother healing. As long as you're diligent with your blocking, you can usually beat him quicker by attacking every turn than you can by playing defensively and healing whenever you take damage.

Final Round!



Jinx leads off Round 3 with the absurdly powerful Hadoken-esque Bombs Away move, which has the most damage potential of any move in the whole game. Unblocked, it's effectively an instant death attack, and because the animation is so quick it's difficult to block. Jinx only uses it once, though.



Jinx is an instructive fight for the beginning Mario RPG player. In Super Mario RPG, it's optimal not to heal heavy damage, but to prevent it from happening. With Jinx, this is accomplished by blocking, but with later fights, it's done by using items like the Lazy Shell and the Safety Ring to nullify the damage from the most dangerous magic attacks.



In Round 3 only, Jinx uses Vigor Up to raise his attack. This raises his damage to even more ridiculous levels, but blocking still stops the worst of it. Some damage will still inevitably get through, however, so unlike the first two rounds there's no reason to be stingy with the healing items.



True to his word, Jinx concedes senseihood to us upon conclusion of the third fight. He hands over his unique Jinx Belt accessory (raises all physical stats and prevents instant death; good for Bowser if you don't anticipate status effects), and renames the dojo...



Mario Style Dojo!



No, nothing happens once they jump 1000 times, although hundreds of rumors said it would. I tested it. (Okay, so I left the SNES on overnight, on the grounds that I'm obsessive, not insane. I figured that if anything did happen, I'd get a text prompt and would see it the next morning. No dice, though.)



They even changed the sign, which is sorta cute.

You know what, gang? I don't really feel like mountain climbing at the moment. Let's go run some errands!



Our first stop is Tadpole Pond, where Frogfucius can smell our Cricket Jam a mile away. In exchange for handing it over, he gives us 10 (!) Frog Coins.

And it really does: If you head back to Star Hill, you'll find that Frogfucius's wish has changed to "Hope Mallow restores the Star Road" or somesuch.



Also in Tadpole Pond, Toadofsky is lurking around again. This time he wants the Monstro Town star's song, but the star didn't write it down: She played it. Even our friend at the entrance here won't tell us: He plays the first five notes, and forgets the rest. In fact, the Monstro Town star's song is written down nowhere in the game, which means that tone-deaf evil fiends like myself had to brute-force it.



Here's the song in question. You guessed it: Ass-backwards. I think I used up most of my life's luck getting this song without brute-forcing every combination or looking it up. (Which would have been a lot harder back in 1996, but you know what I mean.)



Toadofsky hands over the Soprano Card, the best Juice Bar card, but demands that we come up with another song to end the piece. This can be any combination of eight notes at all, so pick whatever one you want.



Me, I like the Bolero of Fire, from Ocarina of Time. It's just a happy coincidence that Alixsar's LP is beginning this week.



Toadofsky then plays the song, but as near as I can tell it's just the four songs we brought him strung together end-to-end. I'm beginning to suspect that Toadofsky is in fact a gigantic fraud.



Whatever, though; he's a gigantic fraud with connections. The Soprano Card allows us to buy as many Kerokero Colas as we have the cash for at the Juice Bar.



While in Rose Town picking up Greaper's flag, I recall the rat's wild talks of a mad old coot living in Rose Town. I've never been one to pass up a chance to mock the senile, so let's look him up.



The Gardener (whose house doesn't appear until after our Princess-rescuing operation in Marrymore) is in the hunt for the elusive Seed and Fertilizer, but rather than making a quick trip to Lowe's, he's going to sit in his house and pout about it. Makes sense to me. File him away and let's move on.



While at Yo'ster Isle digging up Big Boo's Flag, we run into Raz and Raini, who are passing their honeymoon watching the races in between, we can only assume, marathon fucking sessions. Raz probes us for any information regarding the legendary Grate Guy Casino. Which reminds me...



...to get inside that swanky joint, we'll need a Bright Card. And the only Bright Card in the world is in the hands of Grate Guy's brother, Knife Guy, who's taken up residence in Booster Tower.