We're playing Suikoden II? Hooray!

I will not have this army confused for filthy Kobolds.

Better to be confused as Kobolds than a bunch of pussies!

Sorry, that was way too easy.

Pussies are actually designed to withstand what most would call superhuman levels of stress.

too bad there's not enough character space for "of Darkness," but that'd be awful grammar anyway

brickrod's army. (stupid 8 chara limit)

No love for the hardworking actual LP's author? I've often gone with tungwene's army or some variant before. I think most of us have.

Actually, I think I called my army the Excel Army when last I played the game.

I'm not sure if that was because I thought "Excel" was a cool word, or if it was because I was a huge fan of Excel Saga at the time.

I'm not willing to write out either option.

Are you sure it wasn't because you were a huge fan of spreadsheets back then?

We've all been through that phase. You don't have to feel embarrased.

On my first playthrough, I went with Kickass Army. It kind of changed the mood for some scenes.

I went with Suikoden Army because I couldn't think of anything.

Quick update: I've had a lot on my plate this week, but expect to see the first exploits of the Kittens Army sometime this weekend.

MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Woo! Go Kittens Army!

You guys suck.

I'm out.

It used to be about the music, man.

Because KISS has always been about unparalleled artistic achievement

Hey, my mom ended up in the hospital for a week because of a cat bite. They're not to be toyed with!

Honoring his fallen Unicorn brethren, Hiro comes up with a name. Not that Jowy’s very enthusiastic. You seriously think Orange Company’s better? Having taken care of the most important part of his budding military career, Hiro calls it a night…


…only to be woken up by the approaching Highland Army. Seriously, does this kid ever get a full night’s sleep?


He rushes outside and joins the rest of Viktor’s army. I’m not sure how much damage we could really cause with 20 people, a dog and a flying squirrel, but Highland still sees us as a threat so we’ve gotta fight.


Fliktor and the rest go over the battle strategy. They’ve done all they could to even the odds, but if the mercenaries should fail the entire region would fall under Highland. This is sure to rouse the soldiers!


Jesus guys, what the hell? At least “hooray” made a little sense contextually.

Apple sent a request for reinforcements from Muse, but they won’t arrive for about 10 days. The plan is to defend the fort long enough for Muse to send help, while also weakening the Highland offense.





God I love Viktor.


United under the Great Lion Banner, Hiro is ready to take on Highland. It’s time for our first large scale battle. Hey!!!

Highland, either very afraid of our squirrel army or operating under some very faulty intelligence, sent some of their best generals to crush the fortress. For all the similarities to the first game, military battles play out entirely different in Suikoden II (this would go on to be something of a series tradition, with each entry having a different take on large scale combat). This game handles military battles as a kind of turn-based RTS, very similar to Fire Emblem. It’s a much more in depth system, and even customizable to a degree (eventually you’ll be able to saddle both my party AND my military unit with the most useless characters you can pick), but things are kept simple for the first fight. I’ve always preferred the ultra-simple RPS system from the first, but this does have its charm.


Every time units directly attack eachother the game cuts to a soldier level view, showing here Hiro’s Kittens unit taking down one of Solon Jhee’s cavalry. I guess they included this to please fans of the first’s little muppet violence.


The Fire Spears seem to be doing the trick, causing heavy losses to the Highland soldiers. The swords sticking out of the units show their relative health; they’re stuck with one sword when they’re at about half health, and the unit is destroyed when they get a second sword. The Fire Spears have a range of two squares, halves the health of each enemy it hits, and doesn’t allow for counterattacks since it’s not a direct attack. Things are looking good so far!


A few more casualties and Solon Jhee orders the retreat. Viktor and the Kittens Company did it! Camp Fliktor is secure!


Hooray!

The mercenaries have succeeded at delaying Highland’s attack, but reinforcements are still days out. Highland will continue the attack, but their soldiers are tired so we can take a short break.


Huh, guess not. Tired or not, Luca is going to press the assault. There’s no place to go and nobody to turn to for help, so all we can do is hold our ground. On to military battle number two!


Highland comes with more soldiers than the last time, so our only bet is to stay in the fortress and hold the assault back.


Viktor finds out the hard way that the Fire Spears can only be used so many times. Things are not looking good.


As the mercenaries struggle to deal with the oncoming assault, Luca sneaks another force from the rear. Things are NOT looking good.

Being attacked from both fronts, the mercenaries are quickly overwhelmed by the Highland Army.


Flik orders everyone to abandon the fortress, but before they can leave Hirowy needs to rescue Pilika.


The fortress is crawling with Highland soldiers, slowing Hiro’s search.


Hiro comes across Viktor and Flik in the basement. My, that sounds…ominous.


They find Pilika in the strategy room. Unfortunately, they also find Luca and Pohl. Pohl pleads for his life…

…but gets cut down. I’ve poked fun at it a little before, but in the first Suikoden character portraits were pretty good indications about a character’s purpose. Those who had portraits, at least those who had portraits and weren’t complete douchebags, would usually go on to join your group or help your cause. Suikoden II, though, not so much.



Seeing Luca for the second time murder people before her eyes, Pilika starts crying. Of course, this angers Luca (as does smiling, not-smiling, laughing, talking, and being).


Just before Luca can kill her, Hiro and Jowy jump in to block his blow.


They can only hold back his inhuman strength for a short while, though.

Luca goes on a Darwinian rant, then brags about how many people he’s murdered.


Just before he can attack, an explosion in the basement rocks the fortress and knocks him off balance. Viktor’s plan, it seems, was to throw the remaining Fire Spears into the furnace. If he can’t have the fortress, nobody can!


More shitty CG as Camp Fliktor burns to the ground.

Hirowy and a randomly assigned group of party members (sorry Shiro fans, whoever you might be) escape the fortress. It seems the stress of two encounters with Luca has made Pilika mute. Before the fortress burned Viktor said to meet up at Muse, so they make their way West. (For some reason Jowy decided Pilika's name needed an extra L. As much as I love the game it does suffer from a pretty poor translation)


As soon as they arrive in Muse Pilika runs off. Before we go after her, though, it looks like there’s some recruitin’ to be done!


Basically Hanna is sad the town was burned, Hiro says they should fight together and she says yes. That was easy!


008/108 – Hanna


Another recruit down (she says she’ll join, but doesn’t join the party or the convoy, so I’m assuming she agrees and then just kinda wanders off), Hiro goes in search for Pilika. They find her near a burned out shrine on the east side of town. They chase her inside the shrine.

Jowy finds a message inscribed in the shrine, from Han and Genkaku. Genkaku must mean Grandpa Genkaku, and you’ll find out soon enough who Han is.


As soon as they read the inscription Hiro and Jowy are teleported deeper into the shrine.


A surprisingly attractive Leknaat appears (one of the many things not properly conveyed with Suikoden’s original character portrait is that Leknaat is in fact not an old witch). Clearly phoning it in, she tells them to go further into the shrine, then leaves. Thanks a lot!

As Hiro goes down the path, he begins to hallucinate. It shows scenes of Hiro and Jowy’s lives together, from their first meeting, to spying on Jilia Blight (this comes up later), to the attack on the Unicorn Brigade.

When the hallucination ends Hiro and Jowy are in another place in the shrine.

Leknaat returns, ashamed of her earlier performance. The Rune of Beginning, one of the 27 True Runes, has recognized Hiro and Jowy. The rune will give them power, but power, she warns, will not give them peace.


Despite her warnings, Hiro and Jowy decide they need power to protect what’s important to them. The path ahead splits up, and Jowy decides to take the right side. I’ve always wondered how the story would be different if Hiro had taken that path. It’s fan-wankery, but still interesting to consider.