Let's Play: Star Control II: The Ur-Quan Masters

...from airborne zooplankton...

...from solar and ambient energies...

...and from rocky fungal clingers.

Our favorite!

The Zebranky also consumed a variety of foods...namely: the Zoq, the Fot, and the Pik.

To survive the predations of the Zebranky, we banded together, annihilated the Zebranky...

...and formed the cooperative union you now encounter.

We are a relatively peaceful group of species.

Unles we're angry.

So we find ourselves in need of help.

We only need a LITTLE!

Because of our desperate situation.

'Desperate' is too strong a word. I think 'troublesome' is more like it.

Our planets are under attack from an invading horde!

We do not know who they are, or why they are here

We are being blown to bits.


Fleets of alien ships appear out of nowhere, then unleash terrible destructive energies.

Fortunately...

...they release these energies on each other.

Unfortunately...

...they favor combat near strong gravity wells. Their stray shots regularly strike the surface of our planets, often with tragic results.

Fortunately...

...they have never found our homeworld, only our colony planets.

Unfortunately...

...all of our colonies have perished as a consequence.

Some of the vessels are huge, green battlships which launch wave after wave of small fighters.

The other ships are black as space and their hulls are carved with strange alien writing.

In combat the two ships seem evenly matched.

One fires blasts of fusion energy, while the other launches spinning projectiles.

Interesting. Those green ships sure sound like the Ur-Quan, but we've never encountered the black ships, before. Looks like the Ur-Quan are fighting a war of their own. Maybe these mysterious black-crafted aliens could be our allies? You know, like an enemy-of-our-enemy-is-our-friend kinda thing?

These are the words we have prayed for!

Hey, this trip's not a waste after all!

More than anything, we seek an ally to help us survive in this hostile universe.

We are having some problems of that general nature.

But we are only emissaries. You must meet with our leaders. They are wiser... more powerful beings!

They look just like us, though.

Fly to the star called Alpha Tucanae. The planet closest to the sun is our home.

And if possible, hurry.

Alright, if the coordinates we received at the start of the call weren't enough, we now have a name and precise homeworld location for the Zoq-Fot-Pik and an open invitation to come and make an alliance (predicated, of course, on our aiding them in their survival). The Zoq-Fot-Pik homeworld isn't for today, though; there's just no way to squeeze it into our travel itinerary.

As far as the system goes...



Rigel II (or maybe one of its moons; I forget) is a Noble World, which are usually worth landing on. I generally feel that Base Metals (3 RU/per) are my tipping point for being worth gathering, and Noble Gasses are worth 4 RU/per. Plus Noble Worlds tend to be pretty stable and cool, so they're low risk.



Now we're off to the Spathi home system, Epsilon Gruis!



And here we are! Not a huge number of options, so we're off to Epsilon Gruis I, aka Spathiwa.



Not unlike Earth, Spathiwa has a single moon. I arbitrarily (not arbitrarily) decide to visit the moon first. And on the way to that moon...



...I have an encounter with a small Spathi fleet. Let's converse, shall we?



Let's have a little Spathi music!



At this point, I decide the wisest course of action is to start insulting the Spathi captain.

Alright, let's back this up and do this right:





Hey, yeah, good point, me! If they could choose between fighting and slave shielding, why would they choose to fight?









Ah. That makes sense. While the game would sort of like you to see the Umgah as "playful tricksters," the general impression you get from their pranks is that they're more "complete assholes."



Well, I've never meta mollusk I didn't like!

Actually, I haven't liked most molluks I've met, so that's not even true.



Man, if that were in my power to give, why would I be giving it to you?

(I feel this response really calls for the full image)





That about wraps this rap session up.





Note that if you should happen to run into any more Spathi ships at this point, you'll only have two dialogue options, to which they'll always reply the same way:

#1:

#2:



So the Umgah had a super-fancy hyperwave telecaster, but they misused it and the Spathi took it from them. Interesting...



Nothing says "homeworld" like an infinite horde of deadly warships!















Note that if you don't get the cypher from Fwiffo, you can get it from pretty much any Spathi you encounter. We're not talking recipe for Coca-Cola levels of secrecy, here.





To be fair, that's pretty much exactly what happened. The holding a gun to his head part, not the vegetable part.







The Spathi High Council is both uncooperative and to-the-point.

(This would be the Royal "Many Allies.")

Perhaps a bald-faced lie...





Getting frustrated. Just ally with me you guys!





Sounds dangerous.







Sounds REALLY dangerous.

Yeah! Good point, me!



Well, an alliance with the Spathi would be quite useful, since their Eluders are some of the best ships in the game in the right hands...





Alright, off to the Spathi homeworld, for reals this time.



All those green dots are Evil Ones. Pretty intimidating!



And here they are up-close. Giant E.T. babies. These guys are super easy. They take one hit to capture and they just sit there, completely immobile. So we get a bunch of basically free biologicals! One word of caution, though: While you might assume that these things are completely docile, given the Spathi reputation for cowardice and melodramatics, these things will totally mess you up if you actually touch them. Be sure to choose a landing site well away from any of them, just to be sure.

After clearing up Spathiwa we head back to the High Council...






Might as well burnish my hero credentials while I'm here....

...And you're promptly booted back to the navigation screen. Returning to the High Council yet again...







Those darned Spathi!







That got a reaction...

And once again we're kicked to the Navigation screen. Upon returning...







The pieces start falling into place; the Illwrath are going after the Pkunk because the Umgah impersonated their evil twin gods, Dogar and Kazon, and told them to. Once again: Genocide = Zany Umgah Prank!



You shouldn't hold your breath waiting for allies to provide resources; they (almost) never do, and when they do, you don't have to ask.





Interesting. We've never heard of the Thraddash before, but Draconis is where one of the mates to the Clear Spindle is supposed to be.





Who indeed?





Beta Herculis, eh? Maybe we could add that to our itinerary...





So if we really want to meet the Umgah, they're in Orionis. Got it.





Interestingly, if you play Star Control 3, this is pretty much exactly what the Precursors did. 10 waste disposal sites scattered throughout the galaxy. Got it.

...And we're done here.

Now let's quick check in on the regular Spathi ships, see if they give us new info now that we're allied.







More details on the space-time rip! Located between Circini and Chandrasekhar, appears from the 17th to the 20th.





Star Control 2: Meta before "Meta" was a thing.

Alright, since we're in the area, might as well follow-up on that hint the High Council dropped about Beta Herculis being relevant to the Mmrnmhrm.



To Beta Herculis!



Beta Herculis has three planets, and none of them are even worth landing on. The clue from the Spathi High Council turns out to be a red herring.



At this point I decided to head to Alpha Illuminati. Why? No idea. Your guess is as good as mine.



Lots of planets to take a look at...



Alpha Illuminati I has the largest density of huge resource deposits I've ever seen. But it's way too hot and has too much weather to even think about landing on.



Alpha Illuminati IV is also mineral-rich, but still too dangerous to mine.



I run into the Melnorme around Alpha Illuminati V. This might have been my reason for coming here, since the Melnorme like to hang out by Super Giants.

I sold 49 bio units for 98 credits, which gave me a total of 132 credits, not enough for anything worthwhile.



Just thought I'd show you a Magma World. Hot, tectonically unstable, not-particularly-exciting resources. Pass.



Now let's check in on the Androsynth by heading to Alpha Vulpeculae. If you've read the manual, you know that there's a bit of, er, bad blood between the Humans and the Androsynth. Specifically, they're clones that we made to be our slaves, and then they revolted, flew off to form their own civilization, and joined the Ur-Quan.

Beta Vulpeculae! Those... do not look like Androsynth ships.



...And those do not look like Androsynth.

Here's the music you get when chatting with these guys.













...Huh. Well, better safe than sorry:





So these are the Orz. They REALLY don't speak our language. You can kinda figure out what they're saying if you try really hard and piece things together from some other sources.



He does make a persuasive point; Spicy games ARE always fun.





I feel like there's a lot being said here that I just don't get.

Still, weird, incomprehensible fish creatures or no, we can use all the help we can get.

And just like that, we're allied with the Orz.

I believe the Orz are the only race you can ally with just by talking to one of their ships, rather than visiting their homeworld. My memory's a bit fuzzy on
this point, though, so we may encounter other aliens who do so at a later date.

Also, the Orz should really be setting off your creepy sensor, especially since there's no longer any trace of the Androsynth.

Now that we're allied to the Orz, we can chat with them in an attempt to glean information. Emphasis on "attempt."





Here's a typical Orz captain, giving us a typical Orz greeting.

Conversation Option #1:

Option #1, Answer #1:



Alright, this actually provides some insight. The Orz are not like us. What we see of the Orz isn't really The Orz, but rather portions of the Orz that are interfacing with our dimension. They also allude to some other sense, which the translator calls *smell*, but which is clearly beyond our ability to comprehend.

Option #1, Answer #2:



Neat! Coordinates for a... thing? *Playground*? And something about something/someone called Taalo. Still, always nice to have a lead.

Option #1, Answer #3:





From outside information, I know he's talking about the Orz ship, the Nemesis. This also indicates that what the ship's translator calls *happy time* is probably better translated as "rampant slaughter."

Option #1, Answer #4:



This is pretty much what they say from here on. I'm not sure I'm excited abou the coming of the Biggest *party*.

Option #2, Answer #1:





So the Orz don't get along with the Arilou, but both are hyper-dimensional beings.

Option #2, Answer #2:





More trans-dimensional stuff. And a hint about the Androsynth: The Orz wanted to pull them into another dimension, but the Androsynth were reluctant.

Option #2, Answer #3:

(Missed the first screenshot; here's the transcription





And the Orz keep getting more sinister. So it seems the the Androsynth were experimenting with other dimensions and attracted the Orz. And now there are no more Androsynth. And the VUX asked too many questions and at least some of them were destroyed. Hum.

Option #2, Answer #4:



Looks like they're done talking about this subject.

Finally...

Option #3:



This option is going places! Pursuing this line of inquiry eventually turns the Orz into permanent enemies, which makes your life much, much harder.

Finally, this is how an Orz says goodbye:





Back to exploration!



Beta Vulpeculae I is another Xenolithic world. Nice resources, low risk.



Beta Vulpeculae II-A is an Alkali World, teeming with life...



...Or at least, these green carrousel beasts. They're tough, but worth a nice chunk of bio units.



Beta Vulpeculae III also has a bunch of life, though be careful; the tectonics are quite high.



Beta Vulpeculae IV is the same story, but with even nastier earthquakes.



Beta Vulpeculae V has a Radioactive moon...



A Green mooon (filled with Rare Earth resources)...



...And a Treasure Moon (filled with treasure). Treasure planets are nearly always worth plundering, since they usually have no weather and low tectonics (but may be hot, so watch out).



Laying in a course for Delta Vulpeculae, home of the Taalo Playground.



Delta Vulpeculae is swimming with Orz.



Delta Vulpeculae I is a Halide world with lots of life forms...



...That will totally tear your lander a new ass. Those jumping green monkeys are not to be trifled with.

Delta Vulpeculae II is a safe and resource-rich Ultramarine World.

On one of the moons of Delta Vulpeculae II, you'll encounter the Orz again.





You DID practically invite us.





So the Talo were here, then they left to avoid the Dnyarri, but now the Dnyarri are gone, but the Orz are chasing them? I guess?



And then the Orz let us explore this world...



...Which is another Treasure World! Score!



On the surface we find this eerie glowing city. Touching it gets us this message:









Huh. Weird glowing rock that emits all kinds of crazy energies and seems to give certain people headaches? Bring that sucker aboard right this instant!



Delta Vulpeculae III is an Auric World, so it's literally made of gold.



Here's something you don't see often: A metal world covered with life forms. I had to have them, and make them my own.



Those red umbrella dudes are pretty easy. They run away from you and are pretty quick, but don't pose a serious threat. The purple blobs take a few hits and will try to gang up on you, but move too slowly to be a serious problem unless you have other hazards distracting you.

Finally, let's head over to Alpha Cerenkov to pay a visit to General ZEX.



Alpha Cerenkov has a detachment of VUX Intruders that you'd probably rather avoid. They're pretty easy to take out with a Spathi Eluder, but one wrong move and you're toast. Intruders have powerful, but short-range, lasers and can fire limpets that attach to and slow down your own ship. They're the kind of easy foe that can surprise you if you get to careless.



Approaching Alpha Cerenkov I...



Have a little VUX music, won't you?













So the schtick here, since I believe we're supposed to have run into a regular VUX before ZEX, is this: the VUX are an incredibly vain race that, hates the Human race for two reasons. First, in their first encounter, the Human captain made a hot mic remark about how ugly the VUX were, and the VUX have never gotten over the insult. Second, the VUX think humans are hideous. ZEX, though, is the exception.









Hey, so Procyon and Vega may have biologicals, perhaps? Worth keeping in mind, I guess.

(Or would have, if we had encountered other VUX.)

I feel like ZEX has a DeviantArt page full of Human-on-VUX fetish porn.

(Nice save!)





Returning back to the subject of that one missing creature in ZEX's menagerie...





Huh. So a yellow star in a constellation that looks like a snake that swallowed an elephant.



Eesh. ZEX does not know how to say things that aren't creepy.



Back to Earth!

Upon chatting with the Starbase Commander:







Great, now we can build Eluders and Nemeses. Also, kinda neat that we turned a Hierarchy thrall into an Alliance member. A highly cowardly member who will no doubt switch sides at the slightest threat from the enemy, but a member nonetheless.





A psychic shield. Nice.

For our next mission, I decided to throw out the dynamo and fusion cannons. Chances are I won't be using the flagship for combat, and I'd rather have some of the cool ally ships we just earned.



Here you can see our fleet before the newest additions...



And here it is after. Three more Eluders and an Orz Nemesis.



But hey, Talking Time! What IS our next mission? Should we check up on the lost colony? Help out the Zoq-Fot-Pik? Investigate that space-time rip? Go chat with the Umgah or the Thraddash? Head to that constellation at the top that is totally the snake eating the elephant from ZEX's clue? Vote now!

I'll be out of town and away from my computer over the long weekend (attending Red Hedgehog's wedding!) so next update won't be until at least after that, and more likely I won't start working on it until about this time next week.

Or four years from now. Whatever.

Before anyone says anything: On my to-do list is to go back and add more music links where appropriate and to fix the existing music links, which are now all broken (except the most recent update).

Also my next expedition will likely be broken up into multiple bite-sized, manageable updates, to prevent the sort of burnout this last update inspired.

I'm sure those are just the androsynth heretics. We'll probably run into another androsynth that will have our back and prove to be from a more peaceable androsynth majority with whom we can eventually make peace, even if it might be at the cost of our new buddy's life.

Also:

hmmmm

Wait, this is back? Holy cow! I'm really glad to see this start again.

This hardly seems possible, but the post dates don't lie! Welcome back!

Today is the best day!

Happy days and jubilation!

Thank you so much for all the appreciation and expressions of excitement! It's great to know people are still interested and makes the work totally worthwhile!

...But I do need some votes to guide my next episode. Where to next. Talking Time?

Go meet the -- I mean, investigate the space-time rip.

Space time shenanigans are kool

Go check out the space warp.

Thraddash!

Umgah jerks!

Investigate the Space-Time Warp!