Look Behind You, A Three-Headed Mon... I mean a Let's Play of Secret of Monkey Island

Here are a random sampling of insults and retorts from the grinding I had to do to get all the insults/retorts, of which there are 16 by the way:



(I just had to include that last one, It is in the title)








That should give you a good example of some of the insults. I got most of them pretty quickly, that last one with the tip pun took the longest amount of time to get. Here is the complete list of insults and retorts:

With his witty repertoire complete and the ability to wave his sword around without cutting himself Guybrush is ready to face the Swordmaster. If only he could fine her... Remember the last time we wanted to find her?

Oh, Guybrush is going to be too busy to touch anything!



Yup, Guybrush is following the old to the Swordmaster, whereever that is!





The Storekeep pushes the little sign there and all of a sudden:

The Storekeep led us right to the Swordmaster. Now let's see if she'll agree to see us:






That didn't go over too well for him. I hope Guybrush does better!



Hrm, probably not the best idea to be rude to the Swordmaster... That could end poorly.

This fight is a little different than the other fights. Guybrush won't do any insulting. The Swordmaster issues all the insults and Guybrush has to use the correct retort. BUT! Her insults are unique! Though they do use the retorts Guybrush has already learned. Let's get through this then:






That, that is strangely anti-climactic...



"Yes? I think?"




"A t-shirt? yay?"

With t-shirt in hand Guybrush heads back to the SCUMM bar:





Threepwood is so close to being a pirate he can smell it! Or maybe that's all the spilled grog? Just one more task to complete until he's a real pirate!

TO DO

- Get a map
- Master Treasure Huntery
- Explore the town
- Avoid Le Chuck
- Become a Pirate
- Meet Stan
- Learn how to fight with sword
- get a ship
- get a crew (?)
- Kiss the Governor.
- learn all the insults
- defeat the Swordmaster

Because I know you wanted to know:

We last left our hero, Guybrush Threepwood, at the SCUMM Bar where he had just demonstrated his mastery of the Sword to the Head Pirates. With that out of the way only one thing stood in the way of him becoming a real pirate.
He had to find and unbury some treasure! Shouldn't be difficult, right? Nothing else has so far! Guybrush heads into town:



"What's this place? Looks spooky..."

"Really, she could have just been cold calling all of that. Most of those things were piratey and I'm on an island full of pirates... Oh, and the name of the game is Monkey Island!"
Not much help, really was she?

We're still no closer to finding any buried treasure... Let's try some of these doors:

>


(This shop is closed. Which is tragic because where else is Guybrush going to find a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle of it?)

"These doors don't go anywhere!"

So, stop wasting our time Guybrush and let's find some treasure.

If and when Guybrush finds some treasure he's going to have to dig it up. So, he heads back to the general store to get a shovel:




I spy with my little eye a shovel up on the second floor:






"Alright! With a shovel all we need is a map and and 'X' to mark a spot!"

And, there only seems to be one guy on the island selling maps... So we head back to the shifty eyed guy on the corner:

If it isn't a map what is it?




Those DO indeed look like dancing lessions, Guybrush, what are you going to do now? Something about those directions though remind me of something... Something on the island!



That's right those are the only three directions you can go in the island's forested paths!

Back, Left, Right, Left, Right, Back, Right, Left, Back (it's like a crappy Konami code) it is!




"Found it! Though I didn't expect there to be a monument and a plaque, and a bulletin board."





Let's get cracking!
20

"Hundreds of doubloons? Gold artifacts and relics? Piles of pieces of eight? I can't wait!"



Guybrush should have seen that one coming.




With the shirt in his possession, by the way what does that look like?



Ha, well, anyway with it in his possessions Guybrush can show it to the Head Pirates and been inaugurated into their august body! He heads back to town:



"Wha... Wait! What's that on the horizon? Looks like a ship! A Ghost Ship?! That's can't be good!"

No, no it can't Guybrush... What ill omen is this? What foul event does it portend? We'll find out next week!

TO-DO

- Get a map
- Master Treasure Huntery
- Explore the town
- Avoid Le Chuck
- Become a Pirate
- Meet Stan
- get a ship
- get a crew (?)
- Kiss the Governor.

We left our intrepid pirate wannabe and hero, Guybrush Threepwood, standing on the dock watching an ghostly ship disappear into the distance. Just after he'd completed the last challenge to become a REAL pirate.







Pirates: not the romantic, courageous type.





Got to hand it to LeChuck he is a very polite ghost pirate. So, what now? Just as he finishes the final task the newly found love of his life gets abducted! I guess we should check in with the Head Pirates? They might have an idea.

Threepwood heads to the SCUMM BAR:



"Not a lot of people in here, are there?"



AND the Head Pirates are no where to be found. Just this guy:

Here comes one of the best scenes in the game:



Carrying on:

And with that the cook goes back to crying into his arms. Guybrush takes the cook's advice and gathers up the pewter tankards so he can get himself some grog:




That's a fine collection of tankards. Doesn't seem to be much else to do in the bar and so Guybrush heads into the city to see if he can find the Head Pirates, or any pirates really... The streets are empty though until:







Found

"What am I going to do while I wait to loot?"

Didn't the voodoo queen say to see her after completing our task? I think she did! And, we have completed our task! Let's go!




Guybrush, following in a long proud line of adventure game protagonists, begins his visit by stealing! (get comfortable this is going to be a lot of reading, the voodoo lady likes to talk.)

"Well, getting a root should be pretty easy, right?"



"Cannibals? They drink fancy coffee right?"






"What? No, I'm pretty sure I like myself. And that there is nothing about me that I might find terrifying. Certainly not more terrifying that ghost pirates and cannibals...

Next week we buy a ship! And then find a crew, I guess? What?! Guybrush and I are new to all this pirate business!

TO-DO

- Avoid Le Chuck
-confront LeChuck
- Become a Pirate
- Meet Stan
- get a ship
- get a crew (?)
- Kiss the Governor.
- Go to Monkey Island

I suspect that this Monkey Island (TM) place is fairly important to this game. I'm quick that way.

Maybe!

The LOVE gag is right up there with EDUTAINMENT! from Sam and Max.

According to the Voodoo lady, and really when has voodoo EVER been wrong, said I need to find people to help me rescue Governor Marley. So, I guess Guybrush should get on that? beign an earnest kind of guy he askes the very first people he sees:








Threepwood should have seen that coming... There any other captive audiences he can bug to help him? I can think of at least one:

Okay! One down no idea how many to go! All we need to do is bust him out of jail and he'll happily help us rescue the Governor! But, how do we get him out?

"Didn't someone say something about acid awhile back?"



"aha! Grog! Grog can help me here!"

So, Guybrush returns to the SCUMM Bar:




"Look at that thing melt!"



"How is it still holding any grog?"



"Almost there, almost there."

Me too Guybrush. He seemed like a really upstanding Pirate...



This screen saves you from any of my awkward attempts at a segue!







What?! I totally did not see that coming! What a dramatic and unexpected twist!

Wow, that is a disturbingly vivid sense of imagination you got there LeChuck



I really appreciate how over these cutscenes the designers relate how even the ghost pirates serving under LeChuck don't really like him.



So now we know that LeChuck doesn't know that Guybrush escaped, that he has a creepy idea of "enjoyable," and that the Governor seems to be doing just fine handling things herself... Where to next though? We got a crewmember for our ship...

Wait, we don't have a ship do we? We should correct that:



Next week, the joys of used vehicles sales!

TO-DO

-confront LeChuck
- Become a Pirate
- Meet Stan
- get a ship
- get a crew (?)
- Kiss the Governor.
- Go to Monkey Island
- Get More Crew

Last week Guybrush learned a little bit about his future, freed a unjustly imprisoned pirate and found out that Sheriff Shinetop was the Ghost Pirate LeChuck all along!

Guybrush also needs to find a ship and there's only one person on the island who can help him, Stan:








Oh, yeah, be warned Stan really, really likes to talk. Not so much with Guybrush but AT him... Anyway As Stan finally breaths in Guybrush walks over to the dock to get a look at some of the ships:

"Oh, money? Well, um... I don't have a lot. I'm not destitute but..."



But I've heard of this magical thing called:



You don't know any bankers Threepwood! Who'll extend a loan to you?




Guybrush doesn't have any money and he doesn't have any financing. HE does have one thing however:



"Curses!"

Once Stan realizes our man doesn't have much money it's a little easier for him to pull away from the salesman:



On the way out:





"Jeez, a toaster would have been more useful..."



(they will be. Every pirate on the island is too busy looting to think about purchasing a ship)



No, they're not.



Yes, you can.



We will be.

Stan mentioned that the Shop owner would extend lines of credit to people. I mean he mentioned something about a job, but being a pirate, er, a soon-to-be-pirate is a full time job. It doesn't come with a salary or any benefits. BUT, it is a job. Guybrush goes to hit him up for a loan:




"Yes sir! I am looking for a loan!"

The shop owner walks over to the safe and open it. Pay attention to this! He'll be pushing or pulling the lever in a precise order! We'll have to recreate this in just a minute!

Once the safe is opened he pulls out some paper and rejoins Guybrush at the counter:



"Your majesty!?"



With that he goes back to the safe, opens it, puts back the line of credit, closes it and then comes back. I hope you payed attention to the combination this time! Guybrush asks about the Swordmaster, again. And once again the owner is convinced to go traipsing halfway across the island. Leaving plenty of time for Threepwood to try and crack that safe!



A little pulling and a little pushing and viola!



"5000 pieces of eight! That's got to be enough scratch to buy a ship with! Guess we should start looking for some more crew?



TO-DO

- get enough money for a ship
-confront LeChuck
- Become a Pirate
- Meet Stan
- get a ship
- get a crew (2 more?)
- Kiss the Governor.
- Go to Monkey Island

AAh, stealing stuff. The mainstay of any good adventure game. Then, he IS a(n) (aspiring) pirate. Good job, Threepwood!

Stan is far too stationary in screenshots. He needs to be constantly in motion.



Like that.

The first person I think about when it comes to recruiting a crew to save the Governor is the swordmaster! I mean it's not like Guybrush is going to be able to fight people off:



We give her the bad news:





"Yes! Only one more crewmember!"

Guybrush get's so excited he rushes to the dock to purchase a ship, (also cause I'm having trouble remembering who the last crewmember is and where to find him...)





We just got here and I already feel slightly sick and worn down. Stan really, really, really likes to talk.




Oh, good because I was worried about that...

Stan says he has just the ship for a frugal captain looking for the most ship at the lowest price.




I'm sure this will end well...






"Well, it's not exactly my money..."





"Exactly!"