Because only elves live in cities -- Let's Play Dwarf Fortress!

It's worth noting that one of the smart things the various finished SA LP's of this did is that they brutally cut out a lot of the day to day stuff that frankly isn't that important in the long run.

Trolls. Mother of god, we have trolls. Lots and lots of trolls. I hate trolls. I want to kill every single troll on this godsforsaken earth. I think the solution is going to be to fix up some shit I've got in here. The old location of the dodge-me trap is getting nuked and repurposed, and I'm putting a smaller one in so that I don't have to even deal with keeping the trolls out of the grinder. It'll keep the carpenters busy, too. Wish I had sand though... Oh well. We've got seven hundred logs that haven't been worked into some finished goods yet, and that's not counting the stuff I've forbidden on the surface or used to build pillars underground--another three hundred or so. We have lots of wood, let's put it to use.

Later, though. I'll set the dwarves to start making spiked balls to fit the traps with (since they're almost never lethal, and therefore won't jam the traps), but we won't be putting the infrastructure in for quite some time. Gotta kill the trolls first. And all their green buddies. Ugh. Didn't want to see greenskins yet, I was DOING things, god dammit!

Oh. That's right. I forgot about that...



So that thing there is set up to allow the military to leave the barracks, but forbid any awful things from getting inside. It works similarly to the gates in the Grinders, but only one-way, instead of trapping the creatures inside. However, I anticipated that trolls might try to break it, so I used both an artifact hatch cover, and artifact mechanisms. So that hatch is indestructible, and will serve to lure the trolls. Problem solved, I guess. Although I can't operate the bridge they're standing on because someone forgot to link it to the lever that was built and assigned to it (oops)... Ah. Training for the military I suppose. Once they're properly armed and armored, I'll send a few down to have some Fun.

Haha. I had a panic attack briefly when I saw the hatch missing... but no, that's just because some goblins were stepping on it. I suppose I can let them into the slice and dice hall now.

Huh... Well, I'd say this solves that mystery, but... it doesn't.



If you'll recall, "Phantom Dwarf" is a dwarf I couldn't locate in-game, but can see as a member of the fortress according to Dwarf Therapist. Well, I just confirmed he's officially dead. This just gets stranger and stranger.

Captain Axe's tomb itself lays atop an engraving of "dwarves", and the eight tiles surrounding it also all depict dwarves. Six of the eight relate to the founding of Cursenegated, while one other is some random masterwork meal and another is of the mayor being fired once.



Get wrecked, bitches. Everyone's taken care of, except the trolls, who are hypnotized. I'm sending the whole military after them, minus the wounded, because the moron archers wouldn't carry ammunition. Le groan.

They finally picked up some ammo, thank goodness. The warriors are slowly trickling in, though the two dwarves on the field are working well together. The trolls stay mostly immobilized until they get picked on, and the archer pincushions one until it passes out, then the speardwarf stabs its brain a couple times and moves on to the next target.

Oh boy. Six trolls got brain-stabbed before more showed up, including an axeman. He then started taking limbs off with wild abandon.

Trolls are all dead. So now it's cleanup time. I've got most of the workforce carrying off dead bodies and the loot they dropped, and the occasional odd construction project. I'm back to work on the walls outside, and I'm chopping down all the trees outside and using them to pave some roads along the map edge so that there's always a path for wagons to take. I also started putting in a minecart shotgun, but I've decided that it's too much work right now and I can just link up the bridge that was supposed to be operational, and can crush any trolls with it. It's not worth the effort to reclaim their poor quality loot.

I'm not sure how long it's been, really. The hours just kinda blend together during peacetime. So I've decided to introduce some stress by finally committing to the FB Trap. The loot from outside is mostly brought in, so now we just have to clean the trap tunnels, then most of the labor is going to go towards walls and finishing up the smelting operations. Once the FB is properly entombed, I plan to go seal off the last edges of the map corner that I haven't revealed yet, and then I can lift the burrow restrictions and allow dwarves of all shapes and sizes to exist in the caves.

Ughhh. I KNOW he's got a path. I made absolute sure of it. He just isn't taking the bait. No clue why... Oh well. He'll be up soon. I can just set up some more roads in the meantime, I guess.

You know what? This thing is content to sit in the water... and I just remembered, it's made out of ice. I think I'm gonna send in the new archers to take it down. If we kill it, one more for the trophy case, and if not, well, at least it'll be on its way to the trap I set up for it.



I have a bad feeling about this, but fuck it, I'll be damned if we're not doing it anyways. CHAAAAAARGE!

Oh god. He got all the way up on this stupid ledge way across the lake. Even if the military gets down to the site, they won't be anywhere in range. At least I've got a cat pastured in the trap, to serve as both bait and an alarm, in case he does show up next time. Cause I'm calling this one here.

I also just realized how much this Let's Play can be likened to a soap opera. It goes on and on, with very little real "story" to it, and each episode follows a very formulaic structure: it begins with the resolution of last episode's cliffhanger, then spends the rest of the episode building up to the next cliffhanger. Heck, it's gotten almost to a point where I've started doing that on purpose. This amuses me greatly.

It is interesting to note that Dwarf Fortress has been updated from version 0.34.11 to 0.40.01. While I will not be abandoning this let's play, keep in mind that I will be unable to show off the new stuff, and also be aware that I'll probably be a little slower due to both the drag of a mature fortress (though I somehow get the feeling that won't necessarily be the case for long, OMINOUS FORESHADOWING) and the allure of a shiny new release. With lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of hideous bugs that Toady needs our help to eradicate, but still. Jumping. Fuck yeah.

Anyway, on with the regularly scheduled update!



Ugh. I'm real disappointed that the FB trap isn't working out. The stupid asshole is more content to swim around in the lake than come play with my dwarves and there's apparently nothing I can do about it, since the dwarves can't swim. So it's back to forging, and I'll just have to Pull The Lever when and if he ever goes after the kitten I left in the trap.

AAAAAAAAGH FUCK MY LIFE




I just sent a couple miners up to do some channeling to prep for the roads I'm going to lay down in the near future. These roads are going at the edges of the map, to prevent trees from growing, and guarantee that the caravans always have a good place to spawn. Though I really do, at some point in the future, need to consider at LEAST roofing the map edges. Anyway, one of the dumbasses went through the bitter filth, despite having no reason to do such. He proceeded to pass out, I proceeded to yell at him and then watch for him to get up eventually. Considering our newest uninvited guest, he will not be getting up. Should just take one blow to the head and he'll be dead. I did have the good sense to deploy militia patrols, but I was anticipating goblin ambushes, not a fucking minotaur.

I suppose this will be the first proper test of our raw military might... Let's see how this plays out.

Oh god dammit. There was another miner in the filth off to the left, and she's headed for a drink but the minotaur is chasing her now. And she doesn't see the minotaur so she's headed right for him. That'll be another casualty. Hopefully he'll get stuck in the filth long enough to pass out--I don't want to risk fighting him in the filth, but maybe we can get the archers in place to shoot him up while he's stationary.

Hah! So okay, for some reason Minotaurs like to wrestle. This causes them to occasionally grab the clothing on their victims. They can then end up wielding this clothing, and for SOME REASON, choose to use it as a blunt weapon instead of whatever they usually attack with. The Goddamn Batman did the same thing, as did the Ettin that came to say hello. I think we might have this. As soon as he gets out of the filth, at least.

Ooh. Never mind. He's still occasionally biting.

OH DAMN. The miner got two counterstrikes, both at the upper right leg. One of the shots broke a bone and caused the minotaur to fall over. This will be fairly impressive if she pulls this off.

Haha, and he passed out. Either from the attack, the filth, or both. The miner is fleeing--a wise decision. Now that it's been sufficiently crippled, though, I think we got this.

Ooh. One of the archers shot the minotaur in the brain, killing him. gg no re. Nolthag Sakrithmeng has been added to my trophy case.

Mostly quiet for a bit. We got a leathercrafter go fey, so we'll have a legendary leatherworker. Woop de fucking do. Also, our war jaguar died of old age. The tiger was already dead, I'm not sure why. A little sad, but these things happen when you don't have a stable breeding population. Ah well. It's not like they were even ever doing anything.

Argh. Stupid dwarves. There's another awful, awful bug in the game where if you have more than exactly one piece of equipment for a given category per dwarf, then they'll stand perfectly still in an endless loop on the "pickup equipment" job. It looks like I am going to have to specifically assign equipment to all of them. Ugh.

AHAH! FINALLY!



Aaaaaand... he's already cleared the trap. At least I can still pull the SNAFU lever...

Huh. The cat isn't dying right away. Granted, he did get kicked hard enough to go flying and suffered spinal nerve damage, so he'll probably suffocate, but there's a couple pages of the cat getting kicked in the head ineffectually. The FB IS made out of ice, though, so that might be why. I'd fight him in melee if he didn't have webs, which make it practically impossible to actually fight him. If I could actually get a hit, though, he'd shatter like... well, like an ice sculpture.

The moody leatherworker didn't get his artifact mojo on right away, so I came in to check on him. Turns out he was wanting yarn cloth, and SPECIFICALLY yarn cloth, and would not accept filthy plant-based substitutes. Well, the only way to get yarn is from animals, specifically animals that require a food source and the micromanagement thereof. Needless to say, I hoard it when it comes from the caravans, keep it all in one space, and then keep it forbidden at all times so that it doesn't get used up for anything other than strange moods. I just had to unforbid one and he got to work.

Sesta is still failing to do any effective damage to the cat--thank goodness, because the dwarf who decided to pull the lever was as far away as he possibly could be. Sesta can't get into the fortress, but I want to make sure he gets sealed down there permanently. Whether we kill him or leave him trapped, I want to make sure I have the capability to do it, instead of risking having him released into the caverns again.

OH ARE YOU COCKING KIDDING ME?!



Kobolds. The one creature my machinery can't handle. They're invisible, like stealth goblin ambushes, and they're also immune to traps. If you let them steal enough from you, they'll start sending legit ambushes with the intent of slaughtering your dwarves silently and invisibly, and they'll STILL be immune to traps. It's TECHNICALLY possible to take them out with a clever abuse of the properties of TRAPAVOID, but it would require more infrastructure than is entirely necessary and I'm not entirely sure how the specific logistics would work. The basic theory is that you have the only path into your fortress guarded by a pressure plate, set to allow all creatures to trigger it, including civvies. Triggering it would close off the "intended" fork, and open an alternate path that is only open for a brief time while the plate is triggered. This alternate path can not be accessed by creatures with TRAPAVOID. Since they can't go the other way, they'll continue on the straight path, which is a long hallway filled with spears that are rigged to shoot up and down on regular intervals no matter who walks by.

Anyway, there wasn't anyone close enough to shank him before he ran off, so okay, he ran off. Hope we don't get his stabby angry friends coming to bother us.

Wow. Sesta managed to kick the unconscious cat all the way to the OTHER end of what will now be his eternal home without killing it. At least the gate was closed in time. That would have been embarrassing if he'd gotten out somehow. Now I just need to drop some land from above to seal things up, and dig a tunnel that goes around him, and we'll be good to explore the rest of the first cave and then seal it off. Advantage: Imperialists!

The cat FINALLY bled to death. Sesta is now trapped with nowhere to go. Fuck you, Sesta. Fuck you.

Hmm. Now THIS is interesting.




For once, an artifact useful for its function rather than its decoration. The adornments are pretty standard fare: various sparkly bits, an image of gems, spikes made of stone and gems, an image of another artifact, and an image of the fort's founding. Lame. What's not lame, however, is the fact that it's a leather buckler. Shields are an exception to the rule that armor and weapons follow, namely that material type trumps quality a thousandfold. When it comes to blocking with a shield, either you block it or you don't, and material doesn't have any effect on that. A base quality wooden shield can block dragonfire--which, for reference, is about as hot as the surface of stars. Of course, I'm fairly certain that quality also doesn't matter for shields, but an artifact shield is still too cool not to use. And if that's not enough, I'm going to have our new legendary leatherworker make a hundred shields for the army to use.

*Slow clap*



Figures, I trap one and another shows up. And unlike the last one, this one's not made out of ice, but flesh and blood. And unlike the last one, this one doesn't shoot webs, meaning it has no reason to stay alive. And unlike the last one, it is venomous. However... Unlike the last one, this one is in the northeast portion of the caves, and as such, cannot access us. I do believe I will leave him down there for a while until I have a good way to deal with him. Alternatively, I could just leave him down there forever, because why the hell would I let this thing run around our fort?

Of course, if he's anything like Sesta (which I've just proved he's not), he'll just sit on his ass for a few months even after I give him a five lane highway to some delicious dwarves. So yeah, fuck his nuts.

Haha. So I'm just kinda methodically plodding along, building bridges that I'll eventually turn into walls (because bridges don't have that restriction on where they can and can't be built, and also use slightly fewer building materials). It's not exciting, which is why I wasn't really going to mention it much. Well, I was doing other things as well, because, boring, and I looked away and forgot I'd left the game unpaused. Surprise surprise, the game gave me another wake-up call.



I feel like I'd better get all my equipment sorted so I can manually equip everyone and not have to worry about dumb things, and do that as soon as possible.

Jesus christ I just noticed, he has FOUR names. Remember, creatures get titles bestowed upon them as a result of a large kill list, so this guy must be pretty beefy. His name translates to "Strogag Canyonrock the Ripe Lark of Tops," in case anyone cares. If you ask me, "Strogag Holyshit the Run For Your Lives" is a better translation. Unless he flies over the bitter filth, falls, breaks his spine, and suffocates like a certain other roc.

Interestingly, it IS possible to tame and breed Rocs, but the bastards are plagued by a bug that causes a high percentage of their eggs to be stillborn. At least they're still edible.

You know... I've been at this a while, and it's starting to get to the point where I'm getting a tiny bit nervous. Especially because, while I couldn't get a good screenshot to show it, but Strogag is REALLY close by. He's about one and a half screen-widths away from the dwarves, and while they are three Z-levels down, traveling down a Z-level can be done in the blink of an eye, as long as you have a passage. Or in this guy's case, wings. So, ciao for now, and next time, we fight off the roc, finish walling in, and assign military gear in a way that doesn't cause uniform conflicts.

So how does this work as a Dwarf Fortress theme song?

It works pretty darn well--especially because it's literally about dwarves digging. I personally prefer this one, though:

I want to apologize for the delay and reassure everyone that an update is coming soon. I've had my computer crash twice in the middle of an update (THANKS WIKIPEDIA) and so it's been taking a bit longer than I'd like. Soon, though. Soon there will be justice and glory and commerce.

And !!fun!!??

Well. Fuck.

Remember that crash I was telling you about? Well, it happened again. This time, though, I managed to retain some rudimentary control over the computer. I thought it would be a good idea to try and save the game in this state, so I wouldn't lose all the progress again.

Only instead of saving, it corrupted the save. I can't continue even if I wanted to. Cursenegated is finished, and in perhaps the dumbest way possible. A fitting end, I suppose...

No! No it is not!

And so, while this fort may be dead... I think this is the perfect excuse to start a new fort.... In the new version! So come see me later today, new time, new thread, new version, new fortress, same old insanity. Tarn's expected to release another new update sometime today that'll patch an arseload of bugs, both new and old, and at least one of those bugs is crash related, so I'll be waiting for that. In the meantime, tremble in excitement as I face a new version head-on with no prior experience! Fuck yeah, Dwarf Fortress!

Now thats the spirit

Can you post a link to the new thread here when it's up?
Also, protection against crashes is one of the reasons why I regularly put the save on dropbox.
Aside from other reasons such as forumites being able to look at it and take over if necessary. .

herp, didn't think that putting the link here would be wise.

Enjoy Your Stay In Hell