Do You Believe in True Love? Let's Play Thousand Arms!

I was actually totally cool with Marion. I think the more I dated her, the more her appeal started to go down for me, just because she started to seem less wacky. I dated Wyna the most. Because I don't think she ever annoyed me? Also, Wyna had a specific gift reaction that I loved. In my memory, Nelsha was the only one I totally despised. She just seemed... unwashed. I was certain nobody could like her. Then one of my best buds came over and did. It would be some time longer before I realized he had a thing for meganekko.

Man, you're both crazy! Okay, maybe the "No redeeming value" comment was a bit too harsh.

Especially you!
Wyna is pretty great! She actually has a sense of humor and isn't a ridiculous prude. She's probably my favorite out of the girls we've met so far.

Yeah, I dunno about Nelsha. It seems every trait I find endearing about her (say, the glasses ~.^) is offset by some other trait I dislike. Like that askew collar!

It's not even the kind of thing that I normally notice, but it drove me crazy the whole time I was working on that part of the update.

Last time on The Marion And Bandiger Show: Let's Play Thousand Arms: oh god make it stop I promise I'll be good just don't hurt me anymore please just two more points noooo point up damn you just let it end already don't throw paper why is this happening I just want to play the game waaaaaaaa


So I was wrong when I said that the Marion Robots are the only enemy you fight in Mounthand. Sue me.


Making that quick trip back out to forge was a huge blessing; now Wyna can one-shot robots pretty much 100% of the time. Makes things go a lot quicker!


Just past where we found Bandiger is... a giant saucy poster! Uh... really?


Of course, when Meis approaches it, the wall flips around and hides it. It's almost like the A-trap generator is intentionally trolling him.


The way the camera works, this switch is visible when you're far enough away but gets hidden when you get close. So it looks worse than it is It activate the conveyer belt you can just make on the left side of the image.


After hopping on (with assistance from a crane), Meis starts freaking out and running as fast as he can against the conveyer belt...


...causing it to explode. Uhh...?
And nobody got hurt! ...This time.


Moving on a little, we run into another one of these "puzzles."


Remembering what happened last time, Meis moves out of the way of the falling basin...


...only to get konked on the head by a second one. What is this, Looney Toons?

Meis:
>A. I've had enough already!
_B. Wow! Talk about traps in this maze.
Marion: How can you say that!?

He can say it any way he likes, thank you very much.


The next section takes place on the rafters above the last map. For some reason.


Even more inexplicable are the Middle-Aged Men who live up here. Why are they here? What do they do here? The answer may surprise you... whatever it is. I don't know so I can't say whether you'll be surprised or not by it.


It's actually pretty straightforward up here. There's a few control panels that let you swivel a couple of the beams. One takes you to this chest; another lets you take the stairs down to the next area.


Said next area is actually just on the other side of a wall from a previous area. You can see the switch that we flipped just before... uh... I can't remember, but it gives me a really horrible feeling. Perhaps I've repressed some awful trauma.

BLAMMO! Hahahaha!
Kinda strange, but this trip we've fought mostly single robot fights. This is the first time we've fought a full set since we re-entered.


A little further and we return to the rafters for a short bit.


After that is a maze where the walls don't pop up until you approach. ...If you can call it a maze; rather, the walls just block off the short route and make you take the long way around.


Yes, this is a Let's Play. Don't get so excited, it's not exactly news.


Oh, the floor just stacts vibrating, causing Meis to cycle through his various animations.


It ends soon enough, and we can continue onwards.


And just to be a jerk, we have to double back quite a ways to get to the end. But when I say "end" I mean the end!

Video: The Endiger!

(Sayonara, see ya later...)
Man, that's just great. How are we supposed to get out of this mess?


Oh. I guess he could electrocute himself, dropping the A-Trap Generator where Marion can pick it up. Convenient, that.


Does everyone know what time it is?


♪♪ The Fun Battle ♪♪
It's VIOLENCE TIME!


Bandiger fights with his umbrella. His regular attack is a series of stabs with the pointy end. It does a fair amount of damage, but not so much that keeping healed is difficult.


Bandiger: Spin spin spin!
But his Special is to strike a pose and start spinning rapidly, smacking your front line with his umbrella repeatedly. It's not really any more dangerous than his regular attack.

The strategy for this fight is simple: buff up Wyna and go to town.


He doesn't have any way to attack the back line, so we just keep Wyna healed and keep at it.


He eventually goes down, leaving behind a veritable fortune in xp and gg. Muza levels up twice.


Bandiger:Do you believe in true love?
Not even five minutes of Wyna's warhammer can break Bandy's composure. Now that's dedication! He then flees by running right through the middle of the group. And nobody stops him. Well, it's unlikely that we'd ever see him again, so whatever.


Great, so happy for you. FIX OUR SHIP.

Meis: Marion, about the Langoud...
Sodina: Please, Marion. You're the only Gadget Master who can fix the Langoud.


Marion: Well, for now... Let's go back to my house.
You call that a house? It's a garage that you painted in absurdly bold colors! I gotta wear sunglasses in there because it's all so bright!


Once again, we are warped out of the dungeon. However, as we head towards Marion's garage, an announcement comes over the loudspeakers. Apparently one of the train stations has been taken over by somebody's army. Gee, who do we know that has an army and goes around using it? Hint: daaaaaahkneesssssssss.

So Mounthand won't be stopping at Tokio Point. Sucks for anyone who wanted to get off there!


Marion: But, I heard it was destroyed recently.
Sodina: What!? A whole country was destroyed!?
Marion: Like, people started to totally beat up on each other, then a fleet of black airships just went BOOM!

Ok, the airships makes sense, but there some sort of violent riot?


Muza: And the one who wields a katana is called a samurai, a courteous warrior with the heart of a lion.
Sodina: Katana? If they can forge such a distinctive weapon... Does that mean!?
Meis:
_A. The Sacred Altar!
>B. There must have been lots of gorgeous women!

Because you never find distinctive swords without attractive women nearby. Right?

Sodina: Meis! It's the Sacred Altar, right?!

Slap count: 7

Sodina: But Wano was obliterated by the Dark Acolytes, right? Then the Sacred Altar should be as well...
Wyna: Hey, those guys are occupying Tokio Pt. right now, aren't they?
Sodina: Hey, you're right! They must still be looking for the Sacred Altar.

So here's the plan: get off at Sinaga Point, and walk to Tokio Point. Smash some robots and head to Wano to find the Sacred Altar before the Dark Acolytes do!

Video: Meanwhile...: Wretched and Ratchet

♪♪ The Dark Fortress ♪♪
It's time to drop in on Schmidt and see how's he doing. We find him in his forge, getting a little too excited over a sword.
Dark Master: The power of the Holy Flame is magnificent. Using this power, I can forge any sword I wish! Yesss!


Geez Dark M, you can't get so absorbed in admiring your work that you ignore the world around you!

Jeala: Nothing, just that it was because of your great achievements and your great power, Sir.

Ouch. He just straight up ignored her.

Dark Master: Yes, YES! I remember now. I've felt this power before. That was... when I was with Sodina! Does that mean?
That means you should treat Jeala better, and raise her Intimacy Level. Then you could infuse your sword with better spells.


Oh god what is that sound? Is that a voice, or nails on a chalkboard?

Turns out it's a voice! Ratchet, channelling Harley Quinn, is one of the Dark Acolyte generals.


She's also a little masochistic...

Ratchet: Ohhh kay! I'm leaving without you... Mr. D.... Don't take too long!

Is it just me, or does Schmidt have trouble interacting with women?
Anyway, we now return to your regularly scheduled crazy eyes, now in progress.


♪♪ Jeala's Love Theme ♪♪
Jeala: W, why does it have to be Sodina? Why can't it be me?
Because this way has more drama potential!


Whoa, puppet? The Dark Acolytes made him a woman-shaped robot? Is she a robot? Reanimated body? Cyborg? I'm so confused. Whatever she is, that's one hell of a signing bonus.

Jeala: I do feel love! My heart is filled with love for you!

So yeah, this is a healthy relationship. Not abusive at all. I'll admit it; no matter how much I complain about the other characters or the term "Master Points", These two are the ones that genuinely make me uncomfortable. She fawns all over him but he refuses to treat her with even the slightest bit of dignity.

Jeala: Master...

Jeala: Your father was killed by them too. I can feel your pain... I will follow you as long as I live.

You see?


SEE?


Girl, you don't have to put up with this! You can do better!

And so we finally put a lid on the Mounthand arc! That sure took a while, eh folks? Let's hope the next bit goes more smoothly. We'll see for sure on Girls Aren't That Stupid: Let's Play Thousand Arms! Episode 10: Encounter with Soushi! The scheme of the dark sword.
Dark Master: Read it, you puppets!

ahahahaha

Hey, it's a big world! The chance that two independently wandering world-traveling strangers would run into each other again would be incredibly low. That they would bump into one another even more frequently than that would practically necessitate the interference of some manner of fickle demigod for the amusement of an unseen audience!

And what are the chances of that?

There. I fixed it.

A million to one.

So it'll crop up nine times out of ten, then?

Last time on Silence, doll! Let's Play Thousand Arms: Bandiger got what was coming to him: an escape route. Then there was something about Tokyo and Wano and Sacred Altars, but nobody cares about that dumb stuff. Oh, and abusive relationships.


♪♪ The Station ♪♪
Regardless of whatever we wanted to do, we get dumped off at Sinaga Station after that little interlude.


Take a good look at this item shop, because we won't be seeing another for a long time. Also: POWER BRACER MUST BUY NOW


Selling a few Hi Potions leaves me with enough to get one, which I give to Wyna for maximum hammer-smashy times.


NO.


♪♪ Danger ♪♪
As we step outside the station, we find a kimono-clad woman surrounded by some ominously-glowing samurai. Huh, that purple glow looks a little familiar...

Meis: Oh, I gotta save that babe!

You sure do!

♪♪ Battle 1 ♪♪
Because failing to save her means losing to these chumps, and that would take hours. Suronin are weak.
Arms Count: 63/1000
Dark swords, huh? Never seen one of those before.


Meis, always showing off, blasts them away with Aquoon. Well, that was fun, let's move on to Tokio Point now.


♪♪ Soul Samurai ♪♪
Samurai: Unhand my sister, you fiend.
Bwuh?


♪♪ Battle 2 ♪♪
Man, they just keep coming.
Arms Count: 64/1000
Oh, he's got one of those purple-glowy swords too!


After trading blows for a bit, the girl from earlier interrupts.


♪♪ Soul Samurai ♪♪
It's what Meis does best! Save girls from the bad men.

Soushi: I apologize for may actions. I thought my sister was being attacked.
Well, she was until we got here.


Hey what Meis is talking to you! Geez this is like Marion all over again.

Video: He's so(u) incredibly shi.

Where the heck did those flowers come from?

Soushi: I am free tonight. When would you like to meet me?
Hey, stop hitting on our forge-wenches! You aren't a Spirit Blacksmith, you don't even have a Charisma score!

...What? You say he's not interested in women for their elemental power? Pssh, what else are they for? (I'm sure Dark Master would back me up on this!)

Sodina: What? What? B, but...
(Can I get a what, what?)

...That wasn't a very convincing cough.

Sodina: Are you alright?
Soushi: I'm not long for this world. I thought it would be wonderful if I could spend time with you before I...


Kyoka: Girls aren't that stupid!
Actually, for a second there it looked like it was working on Sodina...

Soushi: Kyoka... How can you be so cruel to your own brother?
Meis: Hey, did you see that... He looks so sick. I wonder if he's OK... in more ways than one.
Sodina: Yeah... they're weird
(Hey! That's not fair to Kyoka! Soushi's the weird one here.)


Kyoka: But you turn into this sickly narcissist at the sight of another woman.


Yeah, it would be several more years before anime (and thus anime-inspired videogames) would start sinking that low!
Kyoka: That's not my point!


And with that, he walks away.

Kyoka: I'm very sorry for all the trouble. My name is Kyoka Mahoroba. Even though he acts that way, Soushi really is a kind person. Please forgive us for interrupting you. We have some important matters to attend to. I hope you have a safe journey...

By the way, check out her giant bow. It's like she knew Sodina was coming and wanted in on the ridiculous bow action.


Kyoka: You know about the Dark Acolytes?
Uh... yeah. The jerkfaces keep following us everywhere, blowing up towns and sea fortresses just as we get settled in. And STEALING OUR HOLY FLAMES!

Wyna: Of course we do! We're fighting against those guys!
Muza: Kant, Meis' homeland, was destroyed. Sodina lost her brother and the town of Boyzby was attacked, too. Fort Teve, where I'm from, was utterly crushed. And the Langoud... Wyna's home was attack just a couple of days ago.
Can you pick out the inaccuracies in the above paragraph? Answers on page 257. Or right here: Kant wasn't destroyed, it was just evacuated. Fort Teve was attacked twice, but they were repelled both times. And "a couple days" is more like a week given how many times I've stopped at inns.

Kyoka: I see... My brother is trying to rescue Master Kanouha from the Dark Acolytes. To do so, he is using a dark sword that's rumored to grant strength to the wielder at the expense of their life.
Sodina: A dark sword...?
Meis: It must be Schmidt!
Oh, right! He's fond of handing out Dark Swords. That would also explain why the Suronin do single-digit damage (the Dark Sword is weak weak weak at this point).

Wyna: Sorry to interrupt, but who's Kanouha?
Kyoka: Kanouha is the famous Katana Master of Wano, and he taught my brother the way of the sword.
Oh, for cryin' out loud. Is there anything in this game world that you can't just drop a "Master" after and get an occupation? I bet in the next chapter we'll have to deal with Thigh Masters and Stair Masters.

Also, this conversation just goes on and on, and my screencap program started lagging or something, so I have a lot of pictures of empty, disappearing text boxes. Anyway, Kanouha is being held on the island of Rikyo, and we're going to go help Soushi rescue him! Because he might know where the Sacred Altar is. And to stick it to Schmidt and his Dork Acolyte buds!


Slap count: 8
Time to head to Tokio Point and meet up with a sickly narcissist.


♪♪ The New Continent ♪♪
Uh... which way is it, again?


Ok, this is the section of the map we have access to. Around the outside of the continent are the various Points. You can see the Lucent Cave up there at the top of the map; south of that is the bay where the Langoud is, with Weino Point next door.
Now, since nobody actually told us which way we need to go, more oblivious gamers might end up going the wrong way here. But we heard that Wano is an island nation, and is home to samurai and katana (i.e. it's Japan). So we need to head east towards the suspiciously Japan-shaped island off the southeastern coast of the continent. I originally started that sentence with "naturally" but then realized that's one of my sarcasm words...


♪♪ Battle 1 ♪♪
There's two random enemies we'll be seeing a lot of for this part. Suronin are one, and Evilmancers, seen here, are the other. They are trained in the evilmantic arts, which allows them to mold and shape evil as they will!


They pretty much always will the evil into the shape of the low level attack spells. Check out that jet of flame from his staff, though!
Arms Count: 65/1000
Seriously, I think they'd be more dangerous if they just pointed the giant flame gout at us instead.

Video: Antisoushial

♪♪ Soul Samurai ♪♪
Arriving at Tokio Point, we find Soushi being attacked by four Suronin. He kills them all in a flash, which would be considerably more badass if it weren't something anyone in our party could do (if we could fight more than three enemies at once).

Kyoka: Soushi!
*cough, cough*
Kyoka: Soushi! Please stop using that dark sword!
Yes! Soushi, don't use the sword that will kill you! I know dying is very appealing, but you need to stop!

Soushi: Without Masamune, this evil sword is all I have to fight them with... I have no choice!
Seriously... there are no other swords you can use? Anywhere?

Soushi: It is difficult to wield this blade, but it holds great power within. Even if I must sacrifice my own life...

Kyoka: Soushi!
Soushi: Stay out of this, Kyoka!

Because telling your sibling to stay out of it always works. Right?


Sodina: Soushi, we'll fight alongside you.


What? Oh, you are asking for it. Don't come complaining to me when someone drops a Friendship Speech on yo' ass.

Sodina: But if you keep using that sword, you'll be possessed by the darkness. That sword is filled with Dark Elemental Power.
Yeah, at least let us take it to the forge and change it to Fire or Light elemental.



Soushi: Please! Leave me be...
Oh, he is gonna get Friendship Speeched so hard.


Except now he's left. So we gotta track him down, then Friendship Speech him. But first... let's look around Tokio Point.


Like all the stations, Tokio has an inn and a shop. This particular shop is an accessory shop, which is kind of a dick move. Why is it a dick move?


Because we can't leave. So instead of giving the player an item shop, where one could buy useful consumables for the next section, you can only buy presents that you can't use because there's no Goddess Statue here or where we're going. (Mounthand doesn't stop here either, so there's no way to use that one. And Teleportum can only be used on the overworld)


So we go the only way we can: to the harbor! It's guarded by a pair of Dark Acolyte robots that attack when we talk to them.


More palette swaps! Curiously, they have the exact same name as the Shutvaltz Leaders we fought on the Langoud.
Arms Count: 66/1000


Soon as they go down, Kyoka gets right to work.


...While Meis and Muza, big strong men that they are, sit there and make her do all the rowing. Who says chivalry is dead?


It's night by the time we arrive, even though we stopped in the inn at Tokio Point. There are more Dark Acolytes waiting at the end of the dock, this time a pair of Evilmancers.


And right past them, and these oversized statues, is a house (shown here with another set of Evilmancer guards defeated).


♪♪ City of the Golden Land ♪♪
And inside said house is mission objective #1!

Video: Mr. Miyagi, Thousand Arms Style

And it turns out, he's a perverted racist caricature whose VA delivers slightly-broken English! Just what we need.

Kyoka: Master, I'm so glad you're OK.

Kanouha: In fact, since they locked me in here, they haven't done anything to me. I have been worried about Wano, though.
They probably left him alone because he kept hitting on them.


Well, there were no other boats at the dock, and the guards were still standing. Are you sure he didn't just walk across the water and sneak in the back window?


Kanouha: Triumph? Don't tell me that you're the grandson of Peis Triumph?
Considering that his name is exactly one letter different, what do you think?


Yup, dirty old man. Every game needs one!

Kanouha: That was a long time ago...

Hey, let's suddenly flash forward a bit with no warning!

Hwabzuh? Jyabil was training as a Spirit Blacksmith forty years ago?

Meis: 40 years ago!? Jyabil was that old? I thought he was in his late 20's!
He must be one of those evil wizards who uses dark magics to exchange his soul with that of a younger man every few decades so he can stay young forever!

No, wait, I know! He was a robot!


...Seriously?
"Soushi: Oh no! I must use this dark, soul-devouring sword because I don't have any other choice! Just let me leave my normal, slightly worn sword behind in a location that's neither remote nor unfamiliar to me!"


Conveniently, Kanouha has a forge in his backyard. This scene is accompanied by subtitleless voiceover.

Kanouha: Spirits vary in strength. A sword will be stronger if forged with a stronger spirit. A strong spirit only comes to those with a pure mind. The strongest spirit you can forge a sword with is... Sword Spirit.

Way back in Fort Teve we ran into a guy who wanted to see a Sword Spirit sometime in his life. Maybe we'll find one before the game ends.


Kanouha: Kyoka, hold onto this.

Who wants a mostly-redundant info dump?

TOO BAD. YOU'RE GETTING ONE ANYWAY.

Kanouha: They wanted the Holy Flame of Wano. But there are strong samurai in Wano. Therefore, they gave out the dark swords, and stated that a Samurai with a Dark Sword will become strong. But, what the Dark Sword really did was enhance the owner's self-destructive tendencies. During the chaos that ensued, the Dark Acolytes entered Wano and searched for the Sacred Altar. When they couldn't find it, they tried to get the information from me. I didn't tell them though. Hahaha! As retribution for my stubbornness, their armada destroyed Wano.

Man you guys, THIS GUY. First, are "samurai" and "dark sword" proper capitilized nouns or not? Second, bragging about how awesome you are at resisting torture and then mentioning they wiped your hometown off the face of the earth for it is pretty douchey. Third, I guess Soushi's not being stupid, he's just being self-destructive?


Excellent question, Kyoka! As it turns out...


If the Acolytes had gotten the Holy Flame, then Wano would be destroyed anyway! They need Holy Flames to raze cities because... um... a wizard did it?

Meis: But in the Volcanic Island... they've already taken one.
Kanouha: What? Then I must continue to protect this Holy Flame! Meis, Jyabil asked you to collect the Holy Flames, right? Good! Your ability as a Spirit Blacksmith and Jyabil's confidence in your potential... has given us all hope. You must succeed. You are our only hope. The Sacred Altar is located at the top of Back-Side Hill.


Gee, what a great plan for protecting the Holy Flame: "you go do it. While I keep your best healer here in my home defended by a decrepit old man, after your nemesis declared in a cutscene that he needs her for his nefarious plans." There's no way this can go badly.


Yes, she'll be a great help when Schmidt comes with an army of killer robots!

Since this update is late enough already, we'll end here. Next time on Oh! They're so perky: Let's Play Thousand Arms: Episode 11: Chapter 8: Encounter with Soushi! The scheme of the dark sword Part II: To the Sacred Altar: Electric Boogaloo: The Son of the Revenge: Guys I think my : key is going to break: FES.

Heh, seems like every time I find something to like about this game, there's something cringe-worthy in equal measure.

Also, how long is this game? Somewhere around 30 hours, maybe? This isn't a complaint, I'm just curious.

I know, right? There aren't many games that can make me facepalm one minute and laugh the next the way this one can. (Come to think of it, my LP's been neglecting the latter...)

I haven't actually played all the way through the game in forever, but 30 sounds right. We're around 11 hours now, and we're a little past the 1/3 mark, if my memory serves. It can vary quite a bit though, depending on how thorough you are with exploration and dating.

The music link is "malformed," here; looks like you just need to axe the ampersand. (The spoiler tags are also broken in the next post down...)


I certainly hope this doesn't end badly.


Man, the Rikyu sequence sure is pretty.



I believe we have some RATCHET time coming up. Can't wait!

I hope Sodina resists Soushi's charms, since it's totally obvious he's only after one thing:









her bows.

Damn, you're right. Fixed now. (Also I think I'm going to take a look at changing my write-up process, because this keeps happening.

This is a thing that is true! There's quite of bit of unique environment pieces in this area, and some neat trickery to make it look great despite they low poly counts.
For example: I totally forgot to talk about the fireflies there outside Kanouha's hut. You can see one in the lower right of that picture with the statues. There's a couple of them just drifting around just adding to the atmosphere in a really cool way.