Do You Believe in True Love? Let's Play Thousand Arms!

I spy a running gag... Also, how did I never play this game? It looks kinda fun.

We can do that.
Previous count: 2
Knife Thug: 2
Choro Spear: 1
Katana Ghost: 5(!)
Blade Rose: 2
Scimitar Crab: 1

Arms Count: 13/1000

Alternatively, you can count the arms of every person you meet.

*rimshot*

Out of curiosity, am I the only one who, on seeing ads for this game, thought it was a sequel to Wild ARMs?

I did.

The only thing I remember about this game was that I was on a date with a girl, told her I like candy, and she responded by saying I was gay. Then she kissed me.

Also, I totally forgot I had summons until the final boss.

Yay, I actually went pretty out of my way to get this game back in the day, and enjoyed it a pretty good bit, aside from it being one of those games for which "the difficulty had been raised in localization," that remains painfully easy. I also recall it being quite difficult to guess what the "right" response to the girls' questions were. I adore most of the villains! Anyways, looking forward to this. I recall lamenting that the whole game through, I never had a sword that I thought was as cool as the "ghost sword" radiating off of my broken blade after the first dungeon.

Duh, "Arms" refers to weapons - ! Based on the plot, I was sure that the object of the game was to get 500 different women to hug Meis.

I never had the opportunity to play this game when it came out, in fact I don't ever remember seeing it once except in advertisments. Looking at it now I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

Also, Meis is quite a bit more lanky than his squat sprite seemed to suggest.

Most of the cast is a very special '90s anime kind of lanky.

Last time on Glowing Sword Chronicles: Let's Play Thousand Arms: We met a Spirit Blacksmith and his sister, and fetched a rock so he could fix our sword. And had visions of a horrible alternate reality in which Meis died against the very first boss like a total scrub. And then legendary bad mutha Shaft dropped some mad foreshadowing on our ass.


Meis apparently decided to start writitng letters to his father. Except... he has given no indication that he actually knows where his father is. Nor is there any indication of a postal service of any sort. How he expects to get these letters to his father is a mystery.


Jyabil kept his end of the bargain, and the Broken Sword has been repaired into the M. Sword! It lost its supercool glow and most of the stat boost, though. Pretty lame!

Arms Count: 14/1000
What does the M. stand for? Meis? Medium? Melancholy? Mississippi?

As soon as we head downstairn Jyabil drags us into the forge.

♪♪ The Blacksmithery ♪♪
He hammers a sword a bit and lays it on the anvil, where it starts glowing.

Jyabil: You look impatient, like you already know how to do this. Well, you're a Spirit Blacksmith. Why don't you try?
Oh man it is ON! Meis is gonna forge the shit outta his sword! Clang, clang, clang


Sodina: Hmmm... I'm sorry to tell you this, Meis, but my brother's sword is much better.
Meis: What!? My sword's better, right? Oh, come on, Sodina!
Yeah it's not like he has years of experience over you or a deeper understanding of Spirit Blacksmithing. Of course a total noob like you can forge a better sword than him.

Sodina: I can see your effort...
...only when you check out girls.
Ooh, ice burn. It's pretty funny, though: she says the same thing even if you've been a perfect gentleman around her, instead of the total sleaze I've been playing him as.

Jyabil: What, were you that disappointed? You want to blame it on your tools, and not your skill? There's no secret to my hammer. You can use it, if you're still in doubt.
Meis:
>A. Who does he think he is!?
_B. Ooh, he's being harsh! I must tolerate it, for my goal...
Jyabil: Go ahead, then. I'll let you use my hammer.
Meis: Alright! Watch what I can do with a good tool!
Meis is handling Jyabil's tool. No homoerotic undertones here, no sir.

Meis gives the hammerin' another go.

Sodina: I'm sorry to tell you, Meis... Your sword still isn't as good as his.
Meis falls to his hands and knees and cries.


They give you this closeup of Jyabil just for this line. The camera zooms in, he delivers the line, and he walks out. Seems to me like they shouldn't have bothered.

Sodina: Come on, Meis, cheer up! Jyabil has accepted you as his apprentice. He won't even let me touch his hammer. This shows how highly he thinks of you. Oh, I have to do the laundry now. Why don't you take a break and see what's happening around town? It's a lot different from Kant.

That sounds like a splendid idea! I'm sure we can stumble upon an event that can only be triggered during a very small time window but is nevertheless referenced later in a mandatory event with the assumption that you did in fact trigger it. You know, instead of just turning around and returning to the smithy to continue with the plot. Let's shfshfshf over to the airship dock.

Video: To Catch a Predator

Why hello, little girl. Where are your parents?

Meis:
>A. Hi! Would you like to have lunch with me?
_B. No, I'm sorry to bother you.
Wait Meis what the hell are you doing she's like 12 don't try to pick her up Meis no no stop right now!

Nelsha: Sure! Nelsha know a good place to eat.
No little girl don't go with him he's clearly a molester didn't your parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers because they were talking about him.

Meis actually makes starry eyes and kissy faces at her as he follows her offscreen, I can't believe this shit. Stay classy, Red.


♪♪ The Dress Master ♪♪
Nelsha: Nelsha travel around the world studying fashion design.

Wow, you sure picked a realy winner, Meis. Check out that vacant stare, the skewed collar, the slack jaw, she talks about herself in the third person (but with first-person conjugated verbs), and to top it off she's a liberal arts major! Place your bets: moé gone horribly awry, or brain damage?

Meis:
>A. That's why you've got good taste.
_B. Then why don't you wear something cuter than that?
Nelsha: Thanks! Hee hee. Nelsha likes compliments.

This event is actually the secret dating tutorial! Very soon we will be able to bring girls to the Goddess Statue and start wooing them. This date with Nelsha is a smaller version of the dates we'll be going on later. And yes, it is literally just picking options off the menu while the girl continues to ask questions. Which is really more of an interrogation than a date.


Meis:
>A. Huh? ...I don't know.
_B. It's... that, right?
Nelsha: From cooperation with a girl. Every girl is a source of elemental power.

And all you need to tap into that source are Master Points. Or you can spend them to get her to make you a sandwich.

Nelsha: So, you'd better be nice to them!
Meis:
>A. Of course!
_B. Don't tell me what to do.

The "correct" answers to her questions are all A. If you give her a wrong one, she'll get upset and the date ends right there. The real dates are significantly more forgiving. Then again, it doesn't really matter in this case; there's no reward for reaching the end or anything. It's even entirely possible to miss her completely if you don't visit the airship dock at this point.

Nelsha: Cuz you're still learning, Nelsha thinks it's hard to understand

Nelsha: Nelsha will see you later. It was fun!

Well thank god that's over. And nobody ended up in jail! At least we'll never meet her again.

Dammit, she was in the opening movie wasn't she? Kill me now.

And now for something completely different. Who wants to play Simon?

Jyabil: Look at what I do, then repeat the actions quickly and accurately. That's all.

He explains the controls, and the game begins.

It starts off easy, with sets that are only a single command, and it slowly builds up to sequences of five. It's not difficult, in any case.


Complete all the challenges and you get 50 MP.

Jyabil: Well done, Meis... for now. You have quick reflexes, but your heart isn't in your actions. Train your mind and skill.

Sure thing, boss! I used to have a Simon game around here somewhere, what'd I do with it?

Jyabil leaves and Sodina comes in from outside.
Sodina: Jyabil's checking on the Spirits in the smithy. You know, it's a very delicate job. If the spirits are even slightly out of harmony, the sword becomes useless.
Meis:
_A. I can understand the Spirits' feelings too!
>B. Out of harmony? Let's see...
I'll help you fold clothes! Hehehehe...


Hey guess what?
Slap count: 2

By the way, choices like this actually do affect Sodina's intimacy rating. It's not worth worrying about it much at this point; dates are cheap early on so a couple extra ones won't wipe out your MP stock.


When Meis and Sodina leave the forge, Jyabil tells them to go take care of something for him. The spirits inhabiting a knife he made for a townswoman has... wait a second, spirit-infused tools and weapons have a chance of going berserk? And people still buy them?

Housewife: Hmmm... let me see... this kitchen knife might flip out and kill my entire family. But it cuts better than this one over here, which will sit in the drawer and not try to murder me. Choices, choices!

Jyabil: Meis, remember. Whenever an object is out of control, the reason must lie in the feelings of the Spirit. Therefore, the object will return to its original condition once the Spirit calms down.

So hold on. Remember Meis's sword, at the beginning? Jyabil communed with its spirit and it was sad because Meis is stupid? That was right after it broke in half even though Meis didn't hit anything?

You guys, Meis's sword tried to commit suicide! I guess the M stands for Melancholy after all.

Jyabil: Sodina, go with Meis and help him. The lady should be waiting in front of her house.
Sodina: OK. Let's go, Meis.

Shfshfshf!


The client doesn't get a name, just a description. Because it's important to know she has sexy lips. There will be a test later, so take notes.

So who wants to play another minigame? Not me, but we need to do this to advance.

The knife will fly across the screen and you need to hit it while it's inside the green rectangle in the middle. It speeds up every time you hit it. Well, this isn't so bad.


Until, after a few hits, it gains a green aura and starts faking you out. It'll stop just outside the box for a semi-random amount of time, then either continue through or turn around. Once it starts doing this I've never been able to complete the minigame except by just mashing X until I luck out and hit it.


At which point it falls to the ground and flops around like a fish out of water. Knives aren't supposed to bend like that...

Sodina: My brother always says to listen to the voices of the Spirits around you. Then you'll certainly understand their feelings. Listen, Meis...
Some crazy squeaking sound, like rubbing balloons together put through a chipmunk filter.

Sodina: Uh huh, uh huh, OK... I'll make sure she does that' so please calm down.
The knife floats back to the counter and lays there quietly. Sexy-lipped lady comes inside.


Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaahhhh

Sodina: Please use it for cooking occaisionally. Things have feelings, too.
Lady with sexy lips: OK, I'll do that. Thank you vary much, and say hi to Jyabil for me!

MISSION COMPLETE
Meis's diligence increased to Persistent!


Gee it's like they're trying to push you into exploring the town again so you find a missable event. We're all done with that though, so back to the smithy! Shfshfshfshf!


Great, are we going to have to do another silly minigame? I blame Final Fantasy VII. Well, let's get this over with...

Sodina: My brother fixes things other than weapons, like pots and pans. He's working on a pot right now. He reshapes the pot so the spirit can put more energy into cooking good meals.
Jyabil: Sodina, can you take this pot to its owner? She should be standing in front of her house.

No minigame , just a fetch quest. Not sure if that's an improvement...
By the way, if you check the forge while Sodina is following you at this point, you get the messge "There's no girl to forge your weapons weath." I guess that makes Sodina chopped liver, huh?


The client this time is Glamorous lady. More like Amorous lady, amirite?

Glamorous lady: I'll make you something to eat, for bringing the pot to me. Come on in!
Meis:
_A. I, ah, um... I just came to deliver the pot.
>B. What!? Do you mean...
Meis, this is a bad idea. The game is rated T, after all.

Sodina: You're so pathetic!
You should have seen him hitting on the twelve-year-old earlier.


Slap count: 3

Sodina: I'll go back to the smithy and tell my brother...
That the lady liked Meis... a lot! Better not be late! Hmph!

Glamorous lady enters her house, and we regain contol of Meis. Like there's any doubt what we're doing next.


Bow-chika-wow-wow is what.


Husband: Honey, I'm home...
In the immortal words of Abraham Lincoln, oh shit.

Husband: Huh? What are you doing here, kid!?
Getting the shit kicked out of him by a jealous husband. What does it sound like?
(Sounds of a scuffle) Meis gets thrown out into the street.


Hey who wants to be Jyabil's delivery boy for the rest of the damn game?

Sodina: Meis, let's go.
Jyabil: The Dark Acolytes were seen in the area recently. Keep your eyes open.
Meis:
>A. What, the Dark Acolytes?
_B. They won't stand in my way!
Dark Acolytes? Who are they again?

Jyabil: Yes, the ones that attacked Kant. Are you nervous? You'll be fine, as long as you're with Sodina.
Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.

And now Sodina has joined Meis's party, likely against her better judgement.

Sodina's a mage, plain and simple. She's got high ELEMENTAL POWER and EP but her OFFENSE and DEFENSE leave a lot to be desired. She comes with her very own S. Knife (Sodina? Small? Steel? Better not be Suicidal...) and wears an absolutely ridiculous outfit. Enormous ribbons adorn her shoulders and hang down to her ankles. And her shoes have these weird green balls above the toes.
Arms Count: 15/1000

Jyabil: If you're still worried, why don't you fortify your sword with Sodina? It could help you... perhaps.
Splendid idea. LET'S FORGING!


When you check the forge you get the option to choose which girl you would like to forge with. Meis, of course, is absolutely swimming in choices right now. The weapons ATTRIBUTE will change to the GIRL's ATTRIBUTE when you forge it. The better the girl's MOOD the fewer Master Points it takes to forge a weapon and wow that name keeps getting better and better. MOOD will change over time, here Sodina is in the worst possible mood: her heart is pure black, so all she wants to do is sit in her room dressed all in black and write bad poetry under the pen name Raven Darkstar about how meaningless life is. INTIMACY represents the GIRL's fondness for Meis, and cannot exceed his CHARISMA.

Forging a weapon increases its W-Level and can imbue it with SPELLs or SPECIAL ATTACKs. Which ones depend on the GIRL and her INTIMACY. Sodina can imbue weapons with the Heal spell at INTIMACY 1, so we go ahead and put that on the M.Sword and the S.Knife. W-Level determines the weapon's stats and increases to the user's level when you forge. The MP cost of forging a weapons depends on the W-Level increase, the spells and Specials to be imbued, and the girl's mood.


Sodina can also imbue her S. Knife with her (and our party's) first SPECIAL ATTACK, Dancing Knives. Specials each have their own count of uses, instead of using EP.
And that's all the forging we can do at Intimacy 1.


...So let's get closer to Sodina!
Similar to forging, once you check the Goddess Statue you get to choose a girl. Then you choose whether you want to DATE, PRESENT, or MINI GAME. PRESENT is pretty simple: pick a gift, and reap the Intimacy gains... or, if you choose poorly, the losses.

If you pick DATE, the girl will start following behind Meis and you get to lead her to one of several date spots. Once there...

Video: Date with Sodina

♪♪ Exciting Date ♪♪
It's just like before with Nelsha. Statement, response, reaction. Statment, response, reaction. Ever girl has her own personality and preferred responses. Sodina... likes to throw softballs. Generally, you want to pick "A. Be nice" instead of "B. Be a dick." It's not difficult to raise Sodina's Intimacy.


There's a little secret in the dating system: each girl has one unique date spot which allows you to ask her a question at the end of the date. Sodina's is the airship port in Boyzby.

Meis: Tell me about your childhood.
Sodina: I wasn't healthy as a child. When I got sick, Jyabil carried me on his back to a doctor's office far away. One day, my fever was too high and the doctor couldn't do anything to help me. So, Jyabil took me to the Lucent Cave. Since then, I've never felt better.
Okie-dokie. Lucent Cave has magical healing properties.


Once you finish a date, you get warped back to the Goddess Statue. Unfortunately, because Meis was a total douche before, he can't get Sodina's Intimacy up to 2 in one date. So let's check out MINI GAME.

You heard her Meis. <3 Go for it.

Video: Cooking Attack!

♪♪ Exciting Date ♪♪
It is almost a clone of Jyabil's smithing game earlier in the day, except with only 4 buttons instead of 5.


Like her dates, Sodina's minigame is not difficult. And getting a perfect score impressed Sodina enough to bump her Intimacy to level 2. Let's hit up the smithy again!


At Intimacy 2 Sodina can imbue weapons with the Wind and Barrier spells. Wind is a weak attack spell, while Barrier increases Defense (and at 12 EP is prohibitively expensive right now).


In a minor but annorying dick move, when you forge a Special Attack onto a weapon, you have no uses for that until you visit an inn. So we do. And now that we have a girl in the party, whenever we stay at the inn, the little sleeping jingle is followed by a voice clip! A minor, but neat, touch. Sodina: Good Morning!


Dancing Knives starts off with Sodina doing the windy thing, follows that up with creating a bunch of stars, and finishes by dropping those stars on the entire enemy force's head.

And then we put Sodina back in the back line where she belongs. I could make a joke about her belonging in the kitchen but I don't have enough Master Points. Besides, we're almost at Fort Teve already.


And so is this enormous shadow. Is it too much to hope for that it is a giant flying marshmellow and not a flying warship?

Sodina: Meis, look! That's the Dark Acolytes' armada.
♪♪ Gearman's Attack ♪♪


Dark Acolyte robots and bombs start falling from the sky outside the front gate of Fort Teve. If you're wondering why the Dark Acolytes would drop their troops outside the fort instead of in it, and then proceed to drop bombs on them, well, congratulations, you're a cut above whatever bozo is leading this particular operation. Then again, despite blowing up right in their midst, none of the bombs hurt any of the robots.

Sodina: Meis, watch out! The enemy is coming from above!

They sure are, Sodina, they sure are. And in such a well-shaped circle, too. Well, I guess we gotta beat them up now. Three per battle, of course.


♪♪ Battle 1 ♪♪
STOP! HAMMER TIME!
...I'll be in 1990 if anyone needs me.

Arms Count: 16/1000
Are the the first blunt weapon included in our count?

So now that we've got two characters, let's talk about the back line. The back line only has three commands to choose from: STANDBY, SPELL, and ITEM.

While on STANDBY, back line characters just kinda stand around. Sometimes they will taunt the enemy or cheer on the front line character. The effects of these actions depend on the character. Meis can lower enemy Agility or raise an ally's Critical Rate. Sodina lowers enemy Offense or restores a paltry amount of HP to her frontline ally. The effects are very small and pretty close to useless. So, you might be asking, why STANDBY at all if you can sling SPELLs freely from the backline?

Because you can't sling SPELLs freely from the backline. Your spell list is pared down to healing and a smattering of support. Yeah. So you'll mostly use this when you need to heal.

I shouldn't have to explain ITEM. It is notable, however, that attack items are still available to backliners even though attack spells aren't. I don't get it either, but I'm not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.


And this is what Wind looks like. The dark secret to offensive spells in this game is that they kinda suck. You only get a couple characters whose Elemental Power exceeds their Offense enough to make spells their weapon of choice, and that very same high Elemental Power means you'll want to save most of their EP for healing. Plus, being casters instead of tanks, you're not likely to want them on the frontline.

There are area-of-effects spells later that are not a huge waste of time, though you'd better have plenty of elixirs on hand if you're going to use them routinely.


Pounding the Gearmen bumps both our heroes up to level 6!


Turns out, with a giant airship in the sky, the Dark Acolytes can just drop more Hammers on us.


♪♪ Hold it Right There, Dude! ♪♪
But there's nothing they can do to stop guys in a hundred pounds of armor from jumping over the Gearmen! Just like anyone wearing solid-steel football gear can do!

Meis: Hey Muza! What's up?
The Gearmen take a step forward.
Sodina: This is Muza? I'm supposed to deliver a sword to him!
The Gearmen continue to close in.
Muza: Hahaha! So, we were fated to meet!
Getting kinda crowded in here...
Muza: Let's thrash these guys and then sit down and reminisce about old times!
Seriously, they could reach out and touch us at this point.
Meis: !
Meis leads Sodina out of the circle of Gearmen. (Why didn't they just do that earlier?)


Muza gives his sword a great big swing, producing a tornado which carries away half of the Gearmen, while Sodina's eyes bug out and Meis laughs maniacally.


And there go the other half.


And there goes Muza's sword. Man, at this rate it'll be Thousand Broken Arms.

Muza: Damn! These swords aren't durable enough to handle my strength!
It was a pretty nice touch not to censor the cussing.

Sodina: Meis! Give Muza the sword that Jyabil forged. Muza. this sword is blessed with the Elemental Spirits!
Meis does so. Muza gives it a couple practice swings.
Muza: Wow! That's just what I needed! I was waiting for this!
More Gearmen fall from the sky, conveniently numbering just as many as will fit in a single battle.


♪♪ Battle 1 ♪♪
I rather like Muza's design. He's really a pretty normal-sized dude, but his enormous pauldrons and sword create the feeling that he's bigger than he is. And in turn he feels a little less '90s anime lanky than everyone else.


Also TWISTER BLADE. It's strong enough to wipe out the entire Gearman trio, except this time the frontline one was defending so we had to finish him off with a normal attack.

With the way temporarily cleared, the gang makes a break for the fort.

♪♪ Defense Fort ♪♪
Do what?

ROCKS FALL EVERYONE DIESEXPLODES!
That thing must be a serious pain in the ass to reload.

Video: Meet the Soldier! (With apologies to TirMcDohl)

Muza: I heard about your homeland. I figured you'd still be chasing women. What have you been up to? What? A Blacksmith apprentice? Are you serious? You? Meis? Hahah! I don't believe it!
Do you really need to rub it in that much?

Sodina: You must be Muza! I've heard a lot about you. I'm Sodina, Jyabil's sister. It's nice to finally meet you!


Muza turns blue. Like, completely. Meis looks very amused.
Sodina: What's wrong, Muza?
He get bitten by a strange creature a couple years back. Now, under the light of the full moon he becomes a Weresmurf!


Sodina: Are you sure you're alright, Muza?
Meis: Ohhh, he'll be OK.
Yeah, that's future tense. Muza's too busy with his work at the fort to come do fetch quests and minigames with us, and so won't be joining us. Yet.
So, let's take a look around Fort Teve while we're here. SHFSHFSHFSHF.


Approaching this door near Muza causes this Soldier to ask Meis to fix his sword. Meis heads into the smithy through the door and gives it a shot.


Muza takes the sword and swings it against the floor.
Muza: See, it cracked! You aren't as good as Jyabil yet. Hahahaha! But, you have potential. Keep up the training!
Yeah thanks a lot, dick. "Oh, did you just make this? HULK SMASH! Haha I broke it you suck lawl!"

While we're at the forge we bump both the M. Sword and S.Knife up to W.Level 6, for some small boosts to Offense and Defense.

Fort Teve
Soldier: Where do the Dark Acolytes come from? Those guys give me the creeps.
They come from Dark Acol, duh.
Soldier: I'm worried about the neighboring countries. We can't get any accurate information about their situation.
So basically, your spies suck.
Soldier: Why don't we douse the boulders with oil and set them on fire? That will be much more effective.
Hells yeah! The non-flaming variety were already 100% effective, but why stop there?
Soldier: There's no place to have fun here. Guards just wanna have fun, you know.
Truly, it is all they really wa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-ant.
Soldier: The Sword Spirit exists somewhere. I would like to see it.
I'm sure it's closer than you think. Like, in your front pants pocket! No, I'm not going to spoil it.
Soldier: When the Sword Spirit fuses with a sword, the sword will become very strong.
Oh yeah? Well, when your mom fuses with my sword--INSUFFICIENT MASTER POINTS TO FINISH JOKE.
The rest of the soldiers: Boring crap that isn't important.

There's not much to do here in Fort Teve except talk to the soldiers. So let's ditch this sausage fest and see how many women are fawning over Jyabil now.

Video: Who's the Schmidt?

♪♪ Gearman's Attack ♪♪
On the way back, despite the fact that the Dark Acolyte armada left like an hour ago, a single Gearman teleports in and drops out of the sky in front of Meis and Sodina.


♪♪ Unknown Song (Doesn't seem to be on OST) ♪♪
But it's cool, Mysterious Blue-Haired Fellow has got it covered. He does one of those nifty after-image dashes through the Gearman and it explodes! He's so cool~.

Sodina: Schmidt!
This is Schmidt, my brother's apprentice. He was traveling around the world.


Meis:
>A. Who does this guy think he is?
_B. What does he mean to Sodina?
They give you this choice but both Sodina and Schmidt completely ignore it.


Schmidt: Good swords? Not by the looks of his.
Remember, the M. Sword was an heirloom, originally forged by one of Meis's ancestors... and it was reforged by Jyabil... and after that Meis has only made it stronger. So did Schmidt just badmouth all of Jyabil's swords?

Sodina: Well, Meis' sword may not be as strong as yours, Schmidt. But it glows!
Schmidt: Glows? What the hell for?
Hey... Well, he's kinda got a point there.

Schmidt: A sword must be strong enough to intimidate your enemies. Didn't you just see the awesome power of my sword?
Sodina: Where did you learn something like that? Jyabil didn't teach you that!
He learned it from YOU, ok!?

Schmidt: Let's talk later, Sodina. I'll see you in the smithy.
Here, take this sword. Protect Sodina with it. Hahaha.

Received Dark Sword.
Meis equipped Dark Sword.
Arms Count: 17/1000
So he makes Dark Swords, huh. I bet he's just a super-swell guy!

As Meis and Sodina leave...

We meet ?????, who likes to teleport around delivering foreshadowing, and bears a strong resemblance to that fellow we met at the end of the last update (I'm just talkin' 'bout Shaft). Anyway, I'm sure the Dark Blacksmith he mentions isn't anyone we know. Certainly not anyone we just met with a penchant for forging Dark Swords.


Speaking of which, said sword gives Meis some more raw Offense and Defense in exchange for a drop in Critical and Multi-Attack rates.

Oh, and it can't be forged. Which means it can't get any spells. Which means you can't cast anything while you're wielding it. Which isn't really a problem so long as Meis is in the front row and has Sodina around to do the healing.

♪♪ The Blacksmithery ♪♪
Oh Schmidt, you're such a charmer. First off, we were like 10 seconds from town when you went on ahead. And second, this "puny sword" that Meis has equipped was forged by you. Dumbass.

Schmidt: You have a problem, Meis? I am the senior apprentice, you know. You should treat me accordingly.
So we should be the talented newbie who quickly surpasses you, becomes your rival, and, near the end of the game, gives you a Friendship Speech just before we team up to beat the final boss? Or would that be giving away too much of your character arc?

Jyabil enters
Jyabil: Schmidt, Meis. Let me take a look at your swords.

Schmidt: Are you surprised, Jyabil?
Jyabil: You've done excellent work... but my heart is overwhelmed when I hold this sword.
Schmidt: A sword is a weapon, an instrument of destruction. Isn't that right? Don't tell me that Meis' sword, with its weak glow, is better than mine!
In rebuttal, let me say: *ahem.* "Neener, neener, neener." That is all.

Jyabil: A sword's edge doesn't determine its quality. A sword reflects the soul of its maker... Without soul, it is impossible to master the secret art of the Spirit Blacksmith... Meis, I see that you're beginning to understand the feelings of the spirits.
But of course! His heart will continue to grow as he kills more people and/or monsters!

Schmidt: You've become old, Jyabil. What happened to you while I was gone? Meis' pathetic sword is better than mine!? You've got to be out of your mind!
Yes! Cry more! Your whining only makes me stronger!

Schmidt takes his sword and storms out.
Jyabil: Go to sleep, everybodey. It's getting late.
Sodina: It's OK, Meis. Your sword reflects a pure heart. Don't worry about Schmidt.
I'm telling you, someone needs to drop a Friendship Speech on his ass before he does something stupid like join the bad guys.


Meis sends a telepathic message to his father while half-asleep. Or something? And then he wakes up.

♪♪ Nightmare ♪♪


No, Meis. It's right next to your room. We can see the toilet right there. But fine, we'll go downstairs. And then in the morning Sodina will go to make breakfast and find that you confused a pot for a toilet in the dark.


Or maybe you'll find out that Schmidt is off to a midnight rendevous with Sexy-lipped lady.

As Meis follows him out the door, he finds a letter on the floor.
Sounds ominous! Let's follow and spy on him!


Video: Put on your Sneaking Suit

♪♪ The Evil Mecha 5 ♪♪
?????: We haven't much time left. Emperor Medeus needs your power.
Schmidt: Can you give me a little more time?
Shaft: This is what the Emperor desires...


The mysterious fellow who we've never seen before teleports away. Meis manages to find a branch to step on, giving away his position.

Meis: Oh, sh...


Schmidt: You can't decieve me like that. You overheard our conversation, didn't you?
Yeah Meis, he may be stupid enough to insult his own sword, but he won't fall for that.

Meis:
>A. What was that all about? You aren't dealing with the Dark Acolytes...?
_B. Nah, you were too far away.
Schmidt: You'll eventually find out... Don't tell anyone about what you saw here tonight. (Schmidt turns around) My goal cannot be attained if I stay here. I need greater power...
Quick! Somebody, anybody give him a Friendship Speech, right now! He's this close to burning down some plucky youngster's hometown and becoming obsessed with macguffin collecting!


Next time on Have You Figured Out Yet That Schmidt Turns Evil? Let's Play Thousand Arms:
Episode 3: Mysterious Blacksmiths, Jyabil and Schmidt.
Sodina: Look forward to it!

A meek girl with glasses? In a game with some semblance of dating sim elements?

Nah, we'll never see her again. shfshfshfshf

Well, M is the Roman numeral for 1000, so maybe that sword is the Thousand Arm?

Huh. But since the game's named Thousand ArmS, then we still need find a second one!

Oh god, that date. That was terrible.

I think that Meis is writing a journal, phrasing it as letters to his dad. "Dear Dad, today I met Jyabil's senior apprentice. He's a meany!".

Shouldn't that be "Hammmer Time?"

See, that would make sense, except then why is he writing "zzZZzzZZ" in it?

Huh. You know, I never noticed that!

He fell asleep on the keyboard.

Last time on TWISTER BLADE! Let's Play Thousand Arms: dating, minigames, delivery quests, and a Schmidthead.
Sodina: Let's keep it up! [How about we do something more exciting instead? -Ed.]


Have I mentioned yet that when you start up the game, the default option is "New Game" instead of "Continue?" Because it's kinda annoying how easy it is to mash through theh startup screens and find yourself watching this again. Fortunately, you can pause the game and quit back to the title screen at any time.


So anyway, after Meis caught Schmidt chatting it up with Shaft????? and claiming that he "NEEDS MOAR POWER" to "ACHEIVE HIS GOALS," Meis does what any sensible person would do: pretend he didn't see anything and hope it goes away on its own. It's a time-tested strategy that never fails, and never comes back to bite you on the ass.

Sodina is hanging up the laundry and Meis is chopping wood when suddenly there's a crashing sound from inside the smithy.
Sodina: What was that sound? Come on, Meis!

Video: Schmidt displays maturity befitting the senior apprentice

♪♪ Anxiety ♪♪
He won't teach you the secret art because you're evil.

Schmidt: I know I'm skilled enough to inherit the secret art!
Jyabil: Schmidt! It is not for me or you to decide when you're ready. It is decided by your way with the spirit.
So start making friends with inanimate objects!

Schmidt: Spirit, huh? Sounds like you're making excuses for not teaching me the secret art. Now I understand... If you won't teach the secret, I'll find another way!
That is some grade-A whining there Schmidt. Bravo.

Jyabil: Then go to Mist Valley and stand before the Mirror of Souls. It will reflect your true self. The secret is to imbue a spirit into the sword. In order to do so, you must know how the spirits see you.


Schmidt leaves. Jyabil turns to Meis.
Jyabil: The Mirror of Souls shows not only one's inner self, but also one's fate as a Spirit Blacksmith. If Schmidt realizes that...
Why, he'll certainly change his ways and work hard to become a good person! It's not like what he sees in the mirror might be the last straw that causes him to fully embrace evil.

Jyabil: Follow Schmidt if you're worried, Meis. He went to the Mist Valley, just east of here.
Who's worried about him? The proper individuals to warrant our concern are all the people he's going to murderize when he goes full-on evil! But naturally, no matter how long we wait, the game will not progress forward until we follow him. So... onward to Mist Valley!



Mist Valley is almost straight east from Boyby, and south of Kant. It's pretty easy to find because the surroundings are covered in mist.


♪♪ Battle 1 ♪♪
Near the Valley are a couple new monsters (and an old one). Freelance Knights are boring and fight just how you'd expect. Mandaras like to cast Fire and Geo spells on you, and in their normal attack they go all Dhalsim on you, grabbing the yellow chakram they've got on their backs there and stretching their arms across the screen to smack you with it.
Arms Count: 19/1000
Swords and Chakrams and Hammers, oh my!

Meis and Sodina both hit level 7, and for one fleeting level Sodina has more Max HP than Meis. He has 71, she has 72.


Mist Valley is the first of several dungeons that are just plain weird. It consists of cobblestone walkways rising out of the mist with lampposts at uneven intervals.


The new enemies in Mist valley are Kamikaze Spears, Merman Knights, and Bone Fighters. Yeah, that's right, we're only in the second dungeon and we're already getting palette swaps.


Kamikaze Spears can have this special ability that increases their Offense by a small amount. Considering that they usually only get one attack off before you kill them, it's not a big problem.
Arms Count: 20/1000
Good news, everyone! We're 1/50th of the way there!


Bone Fighters are hilariously animated. Also, since they're undead, Heal can be used as an offensive spell against them, even from the back row. It's not a good idea, though! It doesn't do enough to one-shot them, and they only take two hits from the Dark Sword.
Arms Count: 22/1000
Are we counting that bone in his off-hand? It's a piece of one of its friends! Eh, why not?


Merman Knights use both their long tridents and the Water spell to attack. They also go down in two hits like everything else in here. It makes me wonder, though; they gave most enemies more HP in the localized version, so did all these guys die in one hit in the Japanese version?
Arms Count: 23/1000
The fish tail seems like it would make it hard to travel on land, and all that heavy armor can't make it easy to swim...


Something in this dungeon can inflict Poison, but I wasn't paying attention and didn't catch what it was. Here Sodina is using an Antidote to cure it. For some reason the antidote animation looks a lot like most games' poison animation.


Damashis can actually appear in any dungeon, but they're fairly rare so it's not uncommon to go several dungeons without seeing one. They get stronger as you proceed through the game, but they're never a particularly significant threat. And they break the "all enemies have a weapon (or five)" rule!

They have a weak (1 damage) lick attack, or they can attempt to hypnotize your character, inflicting Sleep.


It usually backfires.

I had Sodina prepare an Antidote (which cures Sleep in addition to Poison) ahead of time in case Meis got slept, but he didn't need it this time. The ability for the backline to hang onto a readied action until the right moment is the trick that absolutely demolishes any difficulty this game had. If you store up healing spells before you need them, there's basically no chance you'll ever have a character die on you. Only a handful of bosses in the game can pose any threat to you, and it's usually because they have strong party-wide attacks before you get access to party-wide healing.


There are a few scattered treasures around containing Potions and Antidotes, but no chest contains the Evade Ring, an accessory only equippable by women that increases Evade Rate by 3. It's something of a waste on Sodina since she's in the back row, but it's not like we have any other accessories, so on it goes! Her Evade goes from 15 to 18.


Mist Valley has a lot of dead ends and is larger than the Ruins, but you know you're on the right track once you come across the Save Damashi.


By now, our party is level 10, and Meis gets his third Charisma. It's like Charismas come early!

Video: Bet you didn't see this coming

We find Schmidt already monologuing in front of the Mirror of Souls, as it reflects a pitch-black shadow of him.

Schmidt: All I wanted was to make a powerful sword. Is this the reflection of my desire? Are you saying that my desire is the same as this raging wave of evil power? But, a sword is a sword after all. It is meant to defeat your enemies. I want to focus my strength in one swing of my sword. Isn't this enough to make me worthy of the secret art?
It seems to me it's less about his desire and more to do with the fact that he's a self-entitled prick.


♪♪ Anxiety ♪♪
A certain staticky hologram who appears out of nowhere seems to be okay with it though.

Emperor: You are right about the sword being a weapon for battle. A cursed sword is fine. It is important that YOU control the spirit and the sword. You are a Spirit Blacksmith of Darkness. I have seen your true soul, you are meant to serve me. You don't need the secret art. Forge swords on your own. Come with me. You are one of us now.
Well see, everybody dragged their heels on giving him a Friendship Speech, and the villain beat them to it! Meis, Sodina, you fail as good guys.

Meis:
>A. Schmidt! Don't go!
_B. Who the hell are you?
We already know who he is; he's Emperor Medeus. Weren't you paying attention when Shaft gave us all that foreshadowing? Geez, Meis. You need to pay more attention to things that happen in places you've never been to.

Emperor: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...

As Meis chases Schmidt, he stops in front of the Mirror of Souls. In an twist nobody would have ever guessed, Meis's soul is a bright shining white. Now that pisses the Emperor off.

Emperor: Come! You, who belong to the Darkness.

Poof! Schmidt gets teleported away in a puff of evil darkness bad vile meanness. And we'll never see him again. Right? ...Right?

Meis: Schmidt!
Sodina: Schmidt!
Emperor: Blacksmith of Light, we need you not. This is the only Spirit Blacksmith I need. I need no Spirit Blacksmith other than Schmidt. Even if you survive, you will have no home to go back to. (manaical laughter)
Yes, he did in fact say a thing, and then say the exact same thing rephrased slightly. He said the same thing twice in a row with a small change in phrasing. And that last bit there sounds a little ominous!


So Medeus leaves us a bossCharismas present.
Arms Count: 25/1000
Those morningstars might be more effective if they were longer...


I wasn't joking around when I used strikeout tags on "boss" up there. This is the only attack he gets on me. Just one of Meis's attacks and a Wind Bottle from Sodina are enough to drop him.

Sodina: No place to go home to...? I have a bad feeling about this. Meis, let's head home, fast!
*BAMF*

♪♪ Impatience ♪♪
Well, shit.

Meis: Those are the Dark Acolytes' airships. The same ones that destroyed Kant.
Sodina: Jyabil! I have to see if he's alright!


You get to shfshfshf around and survey the carnage. Houses destroyed, rubble in the streets, fires everywhere, glowing ash in the air.

Video: [S]End Of Act 1

The smithy is actually in alright shape, all told. Considering some of the other houses are just empty burnt husks. But as Meis and Sodina near it, they hear sounds coming from inside.

Jyabil and Shaft come bursting through the door, literally throwing it off its hinges. They clash for a bit, neither gaining the upper hand (props to Jyabil on that, because Shaft can fucking teleport around.


Meis has to hold Sodina back from rushing to Jyabil's side.
Sodina: Let go of me! Jyabil!
Jyabil: Meis, Sodina! Watch, and learn!
Jyabil pushes Shaft back, and raises his sword skyward.


Jyabil releases a ball of light that flies into the sky and becomes a multi-headed dragon thing that leaves trails behind as it moves around and so looks super weird in screenshots. Are you watching the video? Watch the video.


Dragon-thing tries to tackle Shaft, but he teleports away at exactly the last possible instant.


Jyabil's not doing so hot, though.


♪♪ Sadness ♪♪
Jyabil: Don't...worry...about...me. Meis, I...want...you...to...have...this.
Meis: What? But... this is your hammer. I can't take it. I'm not ready for this yet. I have so much more to learn.
Yeah, you gotta show him how to summon that dragon thing!

Jyabil: It's alright... take it. I know you have potential. Meis, have faith... in yourself. Forge a sword with your faith. The spirit will answer your desire.


Jyabil: There lies a sacred torch. The Holy Flame... will guide you.






And so passes Jyabil, Master Spirit Blacksmith of Boyzby.

♪♪ Morning of Collapse ♪♪
Meis: To tell you the truth, I'm still confused.

Meis: There's got to be something at the Sacred Altar.
Sodina: I know about the Sacred Altar. Jyabil took me there when I was ill. He knew the Holy Flame could cure me. He was so good to me.


Sodina: Yes! Let's go! The Sacred Altar is south of Boyzby, in the Lucent Cave...

So that's the end of Chapter 3. If you examine the grave:



Next time on Mood Whiplash Theater: Let's Play Thousand Arms:
Special Charismas Mini-Update: I know you just lost your only family, but let's go on some dates!
Sodina: *Quiet Sobbing*

C'mon, Atlus.

Merry Charismas everyone! Last time on Shocking Plot Twists: Let's Play Thousand Arms, we went to the Mirror of Souls, Schmidt joined the Dark Acolytes, the Dark Acolytes razed Boyzby and Jyabil died. ;_;

But Charismas is a happy time of year! It's a time to spend with your family... er, your friends! To warm up in front of a... uh, fire in your...home fireplace. Uh, hey! Who wants to go to Kant?


The people of Kant have returned to the town. With a few exceptions, anyway. Cliff and the Triumph family servants are nowhere to be found. Neither is that girl with the hideous sprite.


Most of the townspeople are worried about the Dark Acolytes and/or Boyzby. With good reason!


Anyway, the reason we hopped over here is because we've got datin' and forgin' to do! And it would crass to be all date-y on top of Jyabil's grave. Besides, the Goddess Statue in Boyzby has stopped working, so we're SOL even if we wanted to.

You can see that Sodina's in a slightly better mood today even though her brother just died and her house burned down.

Video: like that movie, Fifty First Dates, except there's only two and they're the second and third. So basically, nothing at all like that movie.


The afternoon gets off to a good start as Meis tells Sodina he doesn't think she's naive and compliments her hair.


And quickly take a turn for the worse when he claims to not know his personality type. Apparently the correct answer is be all evasive and say "I'll tell you later."


He tries to salvage things by saying he'd be okay with listening to her brag, but everything goes to Hell when she asks to close his eyes and he agrees. Probably because he giggled. Stay classy, Meis.


Sodina decides she's done with Meis and wants to go home. The joke's on her, though. She has no home; it burned down. The thing she's actually going to do next? Follow Meis around whereever he goes. And he's going back to the Goddess Statue for another date. Because when a girl doesn't wanna spend any more time with you, you can spend Master Points to force her to anyway! Stay classy, Thousand Arms!


Date #3 is off to a good start as Meis tells Sodina that he's thinking about her, and that he'd like to be with a kind person.


Meis scores big points for chivalry when she complains of a dizzy spell and he tells her to hold onto him.


Dammit Meis, stop giggling!


Sodina brings up Meis's mother, about whom we know exactly nothing. She didn't live with him and his father... and nobody's ever mentioned her before. At best, you could conclude that she passed away when he was young. At worst, it would be entirely reasonable to assume that Meis is a bastard.

But if you explore the mansion thoroughly, you find that Cliff keeps a picture of Meis's mother on wall above his bed. So there's that, at least.

Anyway, Meis makes up some stuff about her being kind and gentle and Sodina buys it.


Meis finishes off the date by calling Sodina an angel (again), and...


Bam!
Smooch Count: 1
If you do well on a date, the girl will lay a kiss on Meis at the end. Or, if you take her to her favorite spot, instead of asking her a question you can ask for a kiss instead. Assuming you reach the end of the date, that is.

Intimacy Level changed to 3.
You know what that means!


At level 3 intimacy, Sodina can add the basic earth attack spell Geo to weapons. The W-Level boost also pushes Meis's Sword above the Dark Blade in stats, so we'll be switching back to that.

Next Time on The Second Stage of Grief is Adventure: Let's Play Thousand Arms:
Episode 4: Find the Sacred Altar! Set it aflame!
Sodina: NO! FIRE BAD!

I love this game.

Kudos for editing every single screenshot, there, too.