Let's Play Lady's Man the King's Quest Variant

Whoops... You're right. DreamRedux had said river and I didn't stop to check whether that matched what was in the game (which does clearly call it a lake).

Death count: countless +2

Graham heads south only to find his way blocked by rocks:



Heading back to the north he finds:



Here is another shitty bit by Sierra. If you had no experience with these games you'd think "okay, I can't fish here." Same with if he had encountered Hagatha in her cave, or the wolf in Grandma's house, or Dracula in his crypt. This is always random, sometimes they will be there sometimes they won't. If you didn't know it was random, if you assumed the game wasn't fucking with you, you'd never get anywhere in these games. Graham keeps fishing 'til he catches something:



Okay, what do I do now?







WEE:

After crashing his fish Graham finds himself stuck on a strange island that is every bit as ugly as everything else so far in this place... He heads south:



A tower? that might be worth investigating, Graham decides to finish his circuit of his new domain first:



That last comment springs up unsolicited when you step onto this screen. I don't know why they bothered the art for the item is large enough that it is clearly visible and the comment about its sparkle shows up whenever you type 'look' on this screen. Graham grabs it:



He heads south to the tower:





"This is Graham, I'm going in!"



We're almost there, people.

Graham fingers the handle of his sword but then recalls the stinking hunk of chewed ham he's been caring around for awhile now:



This is why you get a dog, people and not a lion.



hrm..



Graham opens the door:



]





(so not worth playing the game for... Though I find the thought of kids masturbating furiously to this image in 1985 hilarious.)

Can you name all the losers who showed up to King Graham's wedding? Does he have no friends? Not even the poor peasants he saved in Daventry?


Except for a little Bizarro Graham.

Stayed tuned for the already late LP of King's Quest III: To Heir is Human, now with flesh colored (kinda) protagonists!

That was quite a bit different from the fan remake, I must say. It felt so much more... half-arsed. That's pretty bad when the fans make a better product than you do out of your own game.

The fan remake isn't really a remake at all. It's a whole new game, really. People seem interested enough in it so when KQ3 and 4 are done I'll come back and revitalize this thread to do an LP of it.

So Graham's wedding is attended mostly by creatures that have tried to kill or incapacitate him in some way throughout his first two quests? Guess he likes to keep his enemies closer than his friends. Also, I see Count Dracula's already risen from the dead again, likely hoping his next death is to some Belmonts and not some feather-capped guy with a tent stake.

I loved the LP, and I'm looking forward to the next ones.

With that many killers and monsters there it's not really surprising that the wedding's sparsely attended.

Hey, this was fun! Good job Falselogic. I'm already looking forward to the next ones.

Thanks for beating this game, me and my friend had bought the kings quest series on steam and didn't really get more than half way through this one. Now I can say that I'm glad we didn't. I don't think either of us would have thought to throw the bridle at the snake and that bramble patch looked painful.

Not to mention that last part, were the Williams completely colourblind or what?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSMeUPFjQHc

...So what was the point of the sword and medallion?

Points? A lot of the earlier Sierra games could be won without accumulating all of the points.

Speaking of points, shouldn't you have given Valanice all that sapphire bling you collected before whisking her off to Daventry?

Can't speak for the medallion, but the sword is a "red herring" item put in there so you can potentially kill the snake like a logical person would do instead of tossing a bridle on it like Roberta Williams would do.

The sword is a there for people who want to kill things. Bizarro Graham will highlight that. The Medallion? Do you mean the amulet? That is how you get home. Once you have Valenice, you simply type home and whisk! Game over. Bizarro Graham will also use it differently

The game does not let you Mr. Bean! We all know why, cause Graham plans on wearing it himself one day to the Daventry Drag Queen competitions!

Whoops, my bad!

. . . and all that jewelry? My only guess is that Roberta was trying to give Ken a big fat hint about giving her better gifts!

Does that mean you never actually need the jewelry for anything but points?
(regarding the one use I see, do you fail the game or just miss points for exchanging treasure at quaint little shop?)

Yup, they are only worth points. Points which you lose if any of the "treasures"
are given away or stolen (they can be stolen by the little dwarf we never ran in to but whose home we burgled) and they can be given to the mermaid, antique shop owner, or Charon.

So is there a KQ game worse than this one? I only really ever played V and VI.

If you want to be cruel, there's Mask of Eternity. Otherwise, KQ7 can get pretty bad with its moon logic and (in early releases) game-crippling bugs.

I'd argue that V's worse than this, gameplay-wise.

Really? V could be brutal with surprise! unwinnability, but this game seems utterly dull, arbitrary and uncreative. Every "puzzle" is either blindlingly obvious or completely bizarre. V at least presented a somewhat believable world with a clear goal as opposed to II's, "I saw a vision of a woman. I guess I'll sail off randomly to find her. Oh look a door standing in a field, I guess I should open it."

V probably has the worst what-were-they-thinking-screw-the-player moments of any adventure game ever though.

That's kind of what I meant - KQV came from an era when they should have, by all rights, known better, and yet it was worse than II in a lot of ways.

II's failures are more failures of its time than anything else. Sure, they took quantum leaps forward in terms of plot development in the next game, but it wasn't quite as evil as V.

Plus, no annoying owl.

When I first played V we got the EGA disc version of the game that had no audio so Cedric was never annoying...

ok, he was only kind of annoying. What boggles the mind was that they put a character in that could have been an interactive hint guide and then botched the job completely.

Heh, that was the version of the game that I had at first, too. I actually sprung for the offer where you ship your disks in and they replace them with the VGA version once we got a new computer. Thankfully, that still didn't add voices to the game.

Also, ironically, I really enjoyed King's Quest V when it came out except for the fact that I found it too easy. Just being able to click on stuff instead of divining the verbs to use in the parser felt like cheating.

Yeah, I had trouble re-playing V when I got the King's Quest anniversary collection because it only had the voices. Or maybe that was VI? I don't remember. It was the first time I actually beat V though, because back in the day my dad just copied it from a friend so when the copy protection popped up at the boat we couldn't get any further.

Also that collection was bullshit because you had to enter a code when you started IV, which was found in a .pdf that came with the game but you couldn't minimize the game without it exiting (and the code was randomly generated). So since I didn't have a printer I couldn't play IV.

Bizarro Graham coming soon!

Real life and all that...

Last time we saw Bizarro Graham he had just finished carving up a magic viper. Once that was done though he grabbed the key, rode the carpet back to Kolyma, and unlocked the second door, revealing the third and final one.

It said something about a heart or liver. He wasn't sure, reading was never a strong suit of Bizarro Graham. He figured whatever he had to do, or even better, kill it'd be at the castle in the middle of the poison lake it was the only place he hadn't yet been so he headed over:



Once on the island Bizarro Graham bravely stepped into the brambles...

and died. Over and over and over again. Eventually I figured it out, proving two things: it can be done and Ken and Roberta don't know what they are doing...





What?! That is lame! How am I supposed to beat ghosts without cleverly dressing as a dead man?



The answer to this puzzle is that lame

Bizarro Graham makes his way up the west tower, grabs the candle, and then heads east and down, down, down:



As much as B. Graham loves killing things, he is also extremely lazy. At this point he is having third and fourth thoughts about even venturing out to find some strange broad he only saw in a mirror once. He thinks it was the magic mirror... He had been smoking a lot of Hooka with the Daventry Dragon recently...