Let's Play Lady's Man the King's Quest Variant

These damn inscriptions keep getting vaguer and vaguer... Stout heart? What the hell does that mean?

With nothing else to go on Graham resumes wandering, while by the poisoned lake he stumbles upon:



Charon?



Guess not, this is just a ghoul who happens to look just like Charon and has the same shitty job. Ferrying people across bad things.





Graham should talk to those Belmonts he's heard so much about, they might have some advice on that...



"NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo!"

What Now, Voices?


Bizarro King Graham finds his way to the top of the mountains too. It was a long trip that required him giving away three of the treasures he'd found in Kolyma. One to the Mermaid and two more to the antique owner. He'd tried just killing everything but PARSER wasn't having any of it. Bizarro Graham looks forward wherein the next 15 years he and every other videogame protagonist will be using extreme violence to solving every problem...

Finally, though once faced with the viper Bizarro Graham is allowed to release some pent-up aggression:

]

Blood lust coursing through his veins Bizarro Graham attempts to eat his defeated foe:



Can he at least keep it as a trophy?



Bizarro Graham hates PARSER.




"Uh, than... *gulg* *glug* *splurt but what I rea *splash* need right now is *glug-a-glu* life-preserver!"

I love seeing Bizarro Graham back in action. Is there any chance we'll see him do more stupid stuff? I still don't trust that fat plump monk.



P.S. You think Pegasus would've minded if you got up close and attempted to ride him while he's still a POISONOUS snake? Er, I mean, POISONOUS viper?

Yes:



And since we're bringing up ways to die:



and:



DEATH COUNT: 10

Sugar cube? But that.. how.. I....

You mean I navigated that atrocious bramble maze back in the day for nothing?

Cuuuuuuuurse yooooooooooooouuuuu Sierra!

(And cuuurse yooouuu MetManMas for making the KQV reference I wanted to make!)

You were not alone, my friend.

Whoever created that door is a cruel, cruel being. If you ever find who made it, you should lock them in between two of the doors.

I always loved when they did stuff like that - remember meeting Larry in the airport in Police Quest II?

Actually, I don't! I must have missed it. Dammit, Sven. I don't want to replay PQ2; why are you making me replay PQ2?


Since we're nearing the end of this KQ and I'm prepping for this month's KQ LP. How much interest is there in me revisiting this game with the AGD remake? How much do you care to see the KQ3 redux as well? I'm not saying I will do it but I'm curious about interest in them here on the forums.

If it happens it wouldn't until after KQ4 is completed in April.

Hey, Police Quest II is the great one! At least, it is once you realise that the crime scene analysis kit is in your trunk.

... and figure out why your gun keeps missing.

It is a good two hours to get to the Larry cameo, though. So here.

Yeah, I'd love to see you try those remakes after finishing up 2-4.

Sure, I'm game, har. <insert groans>

I'd be mildly interested, yeah. The KQ1 remake was pretty decent, and I'd be interested in seeing how they do with later games in the series.

On the remakes - KQ2's the one with the most significant differences, so I'd say to hit that one first.

Graham's very being screams against the thought of giving up any of the treasures he's found just lying around in Kolyma to this ghoul! Instead he gets an idea. An idea so fiendish as to boggle the mind of just about any sane person... He dons the cloak and ring Grandma gave him:



Since Graham is decking himself out in fancy new duds he also slips the cross on:



Cleverly disguised as a stylish cloak wearing dandy Graham hopes to be ferried across the lake, without a word he walks up to the ferryman and enters the boat:



Humph, whose clothes did Grandma have stashed under her bed, and why are they so keen on keeping people away from their castle?

For shits and giggles I tried to get through the brambles without assistance:



DEATH COUNT: 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16...

I don't know how anyone could have got through those brambles without help! Anyone who did is some kind of masochist! Forget this noise:



Take that evil plants! Graham revels in stomping on the poisonous brambles, now that he is immune to them

Up ahead Graham finds the door and guys playing in sheets?



Graham investigates:



(I really have no idea how you would get past these guys sand the cloak and ring... I suppose we'll find out when Bizarro Graham makes it to the Bizarro Castle, huh?)



I often wonder if the early background artists at Sierra had no interactions with the rest of the team. That is some monumental architecture. Whoever lives here isn't much of a reader, it seems.



Parser seemed incapable of telling me anything about what might lie down either of the two halls. On a whim Graham takes the one on the left:



Find out what awaits Graham at the top of this ramp (?! Who builds ramps? The govt. of Kolyma must be incredibly progressive to make even their evil castles are wheelchair accessible.) tonight.

Also, probably, what was to the right of the entryway too...

Cause Photobucket seems to be taking a dump all over itself right now.

Hopefully it will be worked out in the morning... This was a good update too, I even went back to the monk MetManMas.

I can relate; I use PhotoBucket for my image-posting needs too. Looking forward to the rest of this update.

Also: Roberta didn't even bother changing Graham's sprite to show him wearing the cape while fooling the Charon clone? Can't say I'm surprised given King's Quest 1's quality animation, but that's still kinda disappointing.

... *twitch*

I dunno, look how steep that thing is - and it doesn't have so much as a railing! There's no way it's up to code.

Also, is it just me or is KQII even lazier and more arbitrary than its predecessor? I mean seriously, you need a wife so you randomly sail to a random little forest and your ultimate goal is to open a door that's just standing in a field? You give an old lady soup and she rewards you with Dracula's clothes? You have to trade a BIRD for a LAMP so the genie gives you a MAGIC CARPET and a BRIDLE that you need to turn a POOIIIISONOUS SNAKE into a PEGASUS that gives you a MAGIC SUGAR CUBE so you can get past BRAMBLES? WHAT THE HELL.

And now you know where King's Quest V got its moon logic from. KQ2 was kind of a rushed sequel to KQ1; they had no idea how well-received the first game would prove to be, since before that there were basically no games like it. And whenever Sierra rushed a product to market, the end result was always the same: puzzles that only make sense to the developers and plot points that are utterly disconnected from each other.

My adventurer's cap is off to you Spoony... The plant monster in SQ2 is difficult enough and with that one it is at least clear where you can and can't step.

These brambles though there is no indication of what areas are safe and which are not.

A room at the top of the ramp... how utterly expected. Graham does his usual thing of looking everywhere for loose items:



When Graham tries to sleep in the bed:



The Dresser looks more promising though, and Graham opens a drawer:



An unlit candle never did anyone any good. Graham recalls seeing a torch back down the ramp and goes to light it:



With the western wing of the castle explored Graham heads to the east wing:



Giants!? Who else would eat at that table which reaches to Graham's head?



The game goes out of its way to convey how old and disgusting the table is... and then points out this delicious ham on it. How did this ham get here? Is it old and magic or brand new? If it is new why is it set on a table that hasn't been used in a very long time?

None of these questions bother Graham. He just takes the ham and jams it into his pockets:



Soon you will wonder just who took that bite out of it too! Once we meet this Castle's lodger.

With the dining room explored Grham heads north before heading further east, and down, into the castle:



Stairs, now? Why would you have a ramp going up one of the towers of your castle but stairs in another? This is one schizophrenic architect.



(these stairs are easy to fall off of, btw)



Well, that's inconvenient! How is Graham suppose to steal whatever is in the chest if it's locked? With nothing else to do in the tower Graham descends and then descends again:



(Somehow I managed to not get a single picture of this room without a giant textbox in it, sorry!)

Graham is a sucker of posthumous viewings:



Parser refuse this command and several others with the same intent with his general "I don't understand" comments.

Graham spent a little too much time appreciating the Count's physical attributes though and he woke up:



(No, Dracula is not a giant so, who uses that table upstairs?)

"Take that! And that! And a little of this!" Graham yells to the now pile of dust in the coffin.

Graham grabs the silver key before rubbaging around in the coffin:



Graham is guessing that big gold key is for the magic door which means the little silver one is for the chest he found in the east tower. On the way up he accidently blows his candle out:



whoops!

Death Count:A lot +1



On his way out of the castle Graham takes the ring and cloak off, but Charon doesn't seem to care that someone he never took to the island is now asking for a ride off of it:



Before heading to the last magic door with the key Graham swings by the monastery to thank the old monk who gave him the cross. Sadly, he seems to have left the chapel:



Graham crosses the bridge for the last time and turns the key into the last magical door:

Graham finds himself in a world that is making my eyes bleed just looking at it. He investigates:



I'm guessing you guys want to direct Graham to explore this new world, correct? If he finds something he should either try to kill or kiss it? Am I missing anything? Or should I just run through the end and we can get on to KQ3?

BONUS

King Graham the Transvestite

With all this pretty jewelry Graham wants to slip into his favorite ball gown put it on and go out on the town! Sadly, Roberta and Ken Williams aren't as progressive thinking as the rest of us:



Next Time: Finishing up and Bizarro King Graham

I'm just so glad that Graham didn't find Gramma's clothes in Dracula's coffin, in kind. That would be an image I really don't need.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Ive liked this so far, and I'd rather not have it rushed to get on to the next one. Doesn't seem like there's all that much left to go, anyways.

^OMG THIS.^

Plus brambles . . BRAMBLES AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

The whole river thing just doesn't make any sense. If Dracula can fly, why the boat? To ferry his giant guests to his fabulous dinner parties where he serves nothing but pre-gnawed ham? And apparently that isn't the brightest ghoul in the netherworld or else he would wonder what Dracula's doing wandering around in the daytime. Guess that's why he has such a crummy job.

I think that Bizarro Graham should continue to try to kill everything.

Well, some folk lore says that vampires can't cross running water. I suppose most modern takes ignore that fact because it's kind of silly. But not as bad as the mustard seed counting.

Ha! I love the fact that in folklore vampires are obsessive compulsive and an effective way of preventing them from hurting you is to spread seeds around your house.

The running water really isn't a problem here though cause Dracula's island is in the middle of a lake not a river.

Its a new world, maybe you can swim easily here! Lets find out :P