Darwin's Rolling in His Grave! Let's play EVO: Search For Eden!

This! Become a mammal and start earning some of that sweet, sweet EVO so you can get to evolving into something capable of inventing a shotgun!

Fly for a while, but turn mammal later on.

I think the space stages was when I said "WTF" and just stopped playing this out of sheer bafflement.

Well, when the game in question is emulating the evolution of life on Earth, the odds are pretty good.

Anyway, I seem to remember that there are a lot of divergent options for mammal evolution, so I say let's get a running start so we have plenty of time to try out multiple forms. Let's just hope there are no budding MMO adventurers about yet when we turn into a rat...

Well, I tried playing couple stages as a flyer. It was decently fun, but, honestly, there was little to report. Most of the enemy encounters were pretty boring, and there was little point to them, as I was already max evolution with EVO.P to burn. I just flew over most stages, and went through bosses effortlessly, buying tons of horns per fight so that I had no worries. I beat the whole chapter in 10 minutes. So~, as it's what the majority wanted anyways, we'll be turning into a mammal. It'll make this chapter much more interesting, and make chapter 5 much more fulfilling and interesting.


Of course, if we're going to lose all of our EVO.P again, we might as well as radically warp our appearance as we can, first!

• Phonocos Jaws
• Spiraled Horn
• Shorten Neck
• Warted Body
• Decrease body size
• Segosaurus Dorsal Fin
• Fan Shaped Tail
• Ptenodons Crest

And so we become a rat. A rather muscular rat, but a rat, nonetheless. Filled with warm-blooded sanguiness, we charge off to merrily slaughter with our new body! It's stats are unsurprisingly pathetic, though at least we don't have a crippling agility this time around. On that note, we have a small body - you always start your life as a mammal this size, regardless of the size of your prior form. Our buck-toothed maw will be our main weapon for a while, delivering twice the damage of our other options, which finally include a Kick attribute! As we charge off, it should also be noted that we discover our soft-pawed feet don't slip about on the ice like our talons had! Mammals get the bonus perk of guaranteed traction, which is pretty desirable in this chapter.


The next cave is now unlocked, Cave of Deltadium. Unfortunately, our now kin rodents don't seem to be faring much better than they did last Era.


However, pressing further into the cave reveals a decently-sized colony of our squeekee breathren.



Hmm, so, we are given an adversary for this chapter from the very beginning, eh? After millennia overhearing rumor mills, we are excited to have finally found one we can join in on. However, as we charge towards the stupid malnourished mice, they take in the wise and athletic form of NYMH, and proceed to freak out and leap at us. Jerks. What could this mysterious two-legged white creature be?


No, probably not.

We attempt to dash out of the path of a ferocious rodent's leaping attack, but, alas, we are too slow. Thus, we are forced to kick the poor creature silly. Kicking is executed with the 'A' button. Used for ramming up until now, if pressed while we aren't dashing, it will perform the kick attack instead, which attacks to our rear. Turning around can be done swiftly, but the major advantage is that the kick comes out instantaneously (unlike the bite), and we remain stationary when kicking (again, unlike the bite, which lunges forward). Lastly, the kick has a slightly larger hitbox over us, so it's the closest to an anti-air attack we're going to get. Overall, the bite remains a great aggressive tool, but the kick will henceforth be our best defensive option.

At any rate, we soon smash our face into the rear wall of the cave, and decide to head back out. These little rascals give but a meager 10 EVO.P; 50 from the meatier ones.


We are not surprised to see that the final cave is unlocked. However, there is more here than meets the eye! The stairs which we see on the world map are here as well, and we are given two options for progressing to the west! Mt. Snow can be conquered by going over it, or by going through it! The road above is shorter, and allows a save in the midst of it, but it is also more difficult.


I'll be taking the lengthier "through" route, as it's better for strengthening our young mammalian form. It begins with more of the wretched Bull Ikustega. You guys show up in three chapter in a row!? I'm pretty sure these guys were extinct by now. Let's make it so! 15 EVO.P each, if you recall. Not worth our time.


The first cavern of Mt. Snow had a revisit from chapter 2... So I guess it's fitting that the next cavern have a chapter 3 creature.
Having to deal with one of these guys in our starting form is a pretty intimidating concept, but the terrain here is to our advantage. So long as we are on any ledge, and not the ground, their ramming attacks will miss us. Thus, we can use these platforms to safely gnaw on the dinos for 90 EVO.P each! It takes a little while with our omnivorous mouse jaws, though.


And, in the final cavern, a chapter 4 creature, at long last! A shame that we don't get to know the creature's name! Obviously a member of the Suidae family, which all pigs belong to. This family emerged pretty much right at the end of the dates we're given for this chapter, so its cutting it close. They wander about snorting at mushrooms, but upon being attacked, they swiftly unleash two projectile snot bubbles. Having them pop on our rear as we rush to escape is embarrassing and insulting.


After clearing their sinuses, the pigs begin to flee. Then they begin to die. As we chase them to the heart of their den, we delight at the discovery of a green crystal. The game's been really generous with those lately, hasn't it? Well, easy EVO.P grind opportunity. I'll give Percy a rest this time, though, and call out a classic, since this mountain is apparently all about being retro.


As much as I want to gorge myself on insulting pork, the triceratops are a more lucrative place for our amphibious assault. Afterwards, we proceed on. I had great fun bouncing the length of the cavern from pig to pig, resulting in the disgusting stream of snot you can see above. But, this marks the end of Mt. Snow, so now it's time to grab our crystal, and move back into the open air!


Upon exiting Mt. Snow, we are immediately assaulted by an avian predator. His airborne nature mocks our loss! We are quick to bring him crashing down, but, he unfortunately has a fast-peck attack he uses the second he lands, hitting us 4 times for 2 damage each time. As that's almost half of our health, we start to panic a little. But two more bites takes the jerk out.


Another immediately descends from above, so we decide to hightail it out of the Exit to Mt. Snow. But, you should notice that we have the descending stairs in this area as well. So, we're left with a large number of choices now!

Should we go back and explore the topside of Mt. Snow?
Should we wander northwest, to the place where the two-legged white creature is rumored to be?
Or should we wander south, to take a break from all this snow?

By the way, while we're discussing exploration, we've tackled 10/22 area. This is the 5 stages we can see on the map, as well as the 5 different caverns we've been in.

And let's not forget the most important choices!

Not pictured:
Increase body size - 1500P
We've got enough to afford two or three things, or we can save up a little more to get something a slight bit pricier! What'll it be, folks?

Horse body, rhino jaws, and a motherfucking moose horn!

Long-necked rabbit with hippo jaws!

Dog jaws, rabbit body, increase body size!

Bigger neck.

Go back and show us more.

Also, we need a goal for our evolution. We must become the ultimate predator.

You know of what I speak.

The fearsome le*pard, if you had to guess.

Unicorn!

The rhino jaws are a must at some point, but maybe a big body first? Moose horns would also be cool to see.

We'll want better things eventually, but along the way you should totally make one of these:



Which I guess would be Horse Body (probably Large), Long Neck, Rabbit Jaws. Throw on some horns for an additional Jackelope angle if you like.

(The book these come from it totally sweet, btw, and kind of relevant to this LP.)

Insult your enemies. Do rabbit body and jaws, then kill em all.

Become a big scary cat monster.

Become whatever combination allows you to look as much like a T-rex as possible.

God bless you and your consistently wonderful LP. Me and this game are besties.

I love those grassy caverns. I can never resist turning into a mammal, simply because grinding the varied inhabitants of inner Mt. Snow's fascinating ecosystem. This is a game that demands you grind, but for me, for some reason, it never feels more right to grind than it does there. Downright meditative.

Oh, and get a horse body so you can kick things. You've been biting for long enough. Time to let the other end of your body contribute in a meaningful way.

And as a carnivorous horse with mystical powers you would effectively be Santosh.

Esquilax?

Wow, there's a Nonstandard Game Over if you side with the T-rexes? Never checked that out. Heh.

Anyway, my suggestion is rabbit jaws, rabbit body, and whichever horn's the most like a unicorn's. Make a bunicorn! =D

This LP is great and you should feel great.

Thanks for the kind words everyone, and sorry for the delay in updates. I took a little break, but then I've just been super-swamped with work the last couple days. Update is 95% complete. I'm going to be really busy tomorrow, but as long as nothing unexpected comes up, I should be getting the next update up within the next 24 hours.

Alright, sorry for the long delay everyone! This will be a decent-sized update to make up for it! Moreover, I'll be ding something a bit different with evolutions from here on: rather than letting my perception of the gestalt desire of TT determine each evolutionary choice, I'm going to be trying to achieve each and every single request that is proposed! That's a lot of Mysterious Time Stream, so let's get going! We've just received our mammalian form, and made our way through the caverns of Mt. Snow to emerge at the fork in the road on the western shore. We've heard rumors of a large, white creature living to the northwest, so that will be our first stop! We will not suffer another being having the gall to be on the minds of others in our stead!


This decision brings us to the Domain of Hypnodon. These feral dog/cat creatures are Hyaenodon, Hyenas of the late Eocene, some of the largest carnivorous mammals of this time period.


They're quick to punch at us when we wander close, and they seem to consistently wander towards us, rather than the back-and-forth of most creatures. This means that if we don't deal with them as they come, we can quickly find ourselves swarmed by them, and they have a nasty bite, taking out half of our health! I'm nt sure what happened in that middle screen - I believe one pounced at us as we were descending from a jump, and they sort f got clipped by an unintentional jump attack from us. Anyways, our death is sure upon landing, so it's time for us to take on a more aggressive countenance!


Aww, that's positively adorable. These rabbit jaws do nothing to aid our biting or health, but we get a +2 to Kick, +3 to Agility, and a +5 to Jumping. Now that our evolutionary choices are modern enough that players can be expected to be familiar with most of them, each evolution tends to provide bonuses matching our general expectations of the source creature, rather than the simple stat progression of most past evolutions. So, we're left with our humongous incisors, but at least it's a little easier for us to avoid our foes and distance ourselves from the pack.


The jumping turns out to not really matter, though. These guys can jump as high as they need to in order to catch us. Terrifying. Worse, the end of this stage seems to be a dead end. As the pack moves in, we desperately move for further evolution.


Rabbit body acquired, completing recentteen14's request for our evolution. This is a much better change for survivability, providing:
Hit Pts 20 < 30
Strength 01 < 02
Kick 03 < 06
Defense 00 < 01
Agility 07 < 09
Jumping 11 < 14

Our Kick attribute has risen to a decent number. Let's give it a try, shall we? And the results our outstanding. These fools leap at an ideal angle to catch a luck rabbit's foot to the face, and in but a moment, the whole pack is in an endless loop of bouncing between the unforgiving icy floor and our ferocious feet of fury. The wrath of Caerbannog makes short work of them.

It's nice to be in control again, even if we are still a rodent.


Once we've cleared the stage, we investigate this ice barrier in more detail. In my first playthrough of this game, I came back to this "door" any time my Strength improved, and tried ramming it with various horns. However, the sad fact is that the way can only be opened via story event. The white being will have to wait for a later date. We'll let it continue to cower in the ice for now. The Hypnodon provide 100 EVO.P each, so we get started moving on to our next evolutionary request. and acquire Dog Jaws.
Biting 02 < 10
Kicking 06 > 04
Agility 09 > 06
Jumping 14 > 09

This causes an overall loss in stats, but the Rabbit Body alone keeps us decently mobile, and holy heck that's a lot of biting power for only 600 EVO.P! Looks like the jaws are the favorite again!


Journeying south, we finally leave the ice behind, and enter a place that seems to be known as the Land of Survival. Not for long.
Maybe I'd consider it if you gigantic guys weren't rudely blocking the only path across this island with your embarrassing girth.


These dog jaws are pretty impressive for something we can get so soon. They allow us to take out each bronto safely, as they still take three hits before they get a clue. At 80 EVO.P each with no risk, this could be a great grinding point if we wanted to bother. But, for now, we just bother to get enough to increase our body size, fulfilling Olli T's request of a large, dog-jawed rabbit.
Hit Pts 30 < 40
Strength 02 < 03
Kick 04 < 05
Defense 01 < 02
Agility 06 > 05
Jumping 09 > 07

This brings us down to the mediocre tier of movement, but enhances our general survivability greatly.


Land of Survival. Not for long. Apparently, this lush island is dino land, because we just keep getting these recycles (a lot of that in this chapter so far, really). Still, having a boss now a standard enemy is a bit of a new thing (even if it was an irregular group boss to begin with). Unfortunately, we're not nearly as prepared to deal with these guys as we were last time, and they no longer seem very interested in ruling with us in the post-extinction world. Our pictured damage trade off is quite horrible, and it seems appropriate that the pictured t-rex seems to be murdering us via crotch-thrust.

Why is only the first part in quotes!? At any rate, it seems we were briefly mistaken for some creature the Tyrasaurs are living in fear of, known as the yeti. Could this possible the the large white creature of the north?

Man, we were getting frightened for nothing if it's just the abominable snow man! Even if this is a real thing, and not just some prehistoric myth making the rounds, it's just a giant snow monkey! Easily placated with the holiday spirit, and probably just as easily devoured by rodent/canine hybrids.


Sadly, tyrasaurs are very real, and we haven't yet fully recovered from the nerf we received when injected with Syrocosaurus hope. Get prepped for a lot of dying. I decide to try out our amazing new kick attack on this foe, but the enemy seems to have an odd hitbox that we can't kick without getting close enough to be bitten. So, let's try our battle strategy from the triceratops earlier this chapter: using the terrain to our advantage! This mostly works, but unlike the three-horns, the sharpteeth can jump, so keeping them down there is pretty problematic.


I enjoy the amusing pained face of our dog form. I also enjoy watching the t-rex leap about in our general area upon our demise, like they're playing fanfare through their minds as the dance on our graves. I also enjoy Gaia telling us that our EVO.P of zero has been reduced.


Our biggest problem dealing with these guys is that they seem to almost always come in pairs in this stage. I finally find an isolated one. Unfortunately, it's on flat terrain. But, some very well-executed ramming allows us to barely scrape by. Afterwards, we just get the heck out of here as fast as we can. We'll make these guys pay later, when we're not some sort of malformed polar bear.

We move on to the desert island below, which looks to consist of only one stage. Is a polar bear more out of place in the desert, or amidst tyranosaurs? I cannot say.

Domain of Balrium. Looks like a pre-rhino to me, and I believe the name refers to Barylambda which does indeed seem to be that. The images wikipedia provides don't look much like these, but their successor seems to be accurate in appearance, if not in habitat.
Okay. More fear of the yeti. Gee, I wonder if the yeti will be a boss? Anyways, must suck for these guys, being trapped in the one tiny portion of the world that remains a desert, even in the ice age. Life can't be that bad for them, though as they present a shit-eating grin when we get close, kick up their hind leg a few times, then charge in. The damage is decent, and it sometimes hits twice somehow.


Again, the kick is the best option, simply for the fact that it doesn't lunge forward like the bite. For most charging style attacks, this will be the case. These guys can be brutal to us if they gang up on us, and it's hard to lose one due to their charging. Fortunately, they're one of the slumbering creatures, and our terrain advantage works just fine on these guys, allowing us to string a few through the stage to our delightful dining rock.


Some brief slaughtering, and we're ready for our next upgrade - Cat Jaws! I have some complaints with the graphics for most of the mammal jaws, bu the cat one has always annoyed me particularly. It doesn't look nearly feline enough, and is a little derpy, to be frank. Biting -5. No other change. Damn. Well, it was only 200 EVO.P... Whatever, now just need to convert our body back into a feline form to go with it...


And a ferocious cat monster is made. This is as close as we're going to get to fulfilling McLain and Bongo Bill's requests, so I went ahead and logged it for both of them. I guess we could add a mane, which boosts HP and biting power for cheap, but that's not very le*pard. I took the liberty of providing a picture of our again amusing face of pain. I like that the large cat jaws seem to register damage not as pain, but as disappointment. But the disappointment is probably over our stat changes:
Hit Pts 40 > 30
Biting 03 > 02
Strength 05 > 02

Who knew rabbits were so physically superior to felines? At any rate, our new stage opens in the top-right corner of the map, and we must wander off the bottom of the map to reach it.


This allows us to circumnavigate the not-pictured back-side of the globe, in what I'm sure was an amazing adventure. This arcade-style screen circling delighted me when younger. We are now at the North Pole, which is no place for a kitty cat! But rather than adapt in any proper way, let's just turn into something strange.


Neck extended, per request by RedSilvers. I just want to say that the thought of long-necked jungle cats is pretty unsettling. This aspiring lamia amuses me greatly. Unfortunately, it does not amuse these horrible prehistoric penguins. Penguins are not at the North Pole. But you knew that. These guys are deadly. They always come in packs of 3, so we're very prone to being juggled when around them. This first group is the worst, where they can slide towards us, bouncing us into the corner, where we'll take collision damage until they slide to the right, carrying us along again, almost killing us just with that combo. I'll just tell you now that I died a few times in this level.


If you hadn't guessed yet, the remedy is once again a firm kick from the hind legs. They slide so low to the ground that we can't bite them. While rushing in to bite them while they're still standing is ideal, it can be tricky since they come in groups. Once they go on the offensive, the kick is the way to go. Of course, when the sun falls, our fangs glisten in the moonlight and tear into the polar poultry. There's three groups of penguins in this level, but also a single seal sleeping (day or night) in the middle of the stage.


True seals and walruses and such hadn't finished evolving from an otter-like creature at this point in time, and had only truly made it to an adorable in-between.Once we aggress the slumbering seal, it begins launching a vicious leaping drill attack. This thing is mildly tricky. The seal will crawl towards us until reaching a fixed distance, at which point it performs this attack, which is angled just so that it will leap over the hit box for our kick unless we rush forwards a slight bit more before counter-attacking. It hits heavy, at 9 damage in our current form, but it's not too big a threat as long as you take out all the penguins prior. This stage is a bit different than most so far, in that none of the enemies respawn after being devoured. At any rate, looks like we're ready for some more evolution. Let's try another set of jaws, shall we? Hmm, which to choose...

Hippo?

Oh, god, that's just awful. I can see what they were going for, but, really, this thing is hideous. It gives us +3 to Biting, Strength, and Kick, improving every means of offense, suiting the terrible nature of the monstrous hippopotamus. But is this really the face we want to show when we arrive at this secluded valley in the north, where Santa no doubt waits?

These are hippo jaws. These things will freaking kill. The stuff FOE's are made of. You may think hippos looks cute with their sawed-off marshmallow teeth.

Like Hannibal Lecter looks cute in a straight jacket and muzzle. Things befitting one of the most aggressive creatures alive, and the third largest land mammal. We look more like... Camel Joe. Maybe a change of body and neck length would help with that, but... Just, damn. Let's get on with it, already.

Domain of Mammoth? I wanted to take on some reindeer, dammit! We are way too early for mammoths! These guys only appeared 4.8 mya, and phased out 4,500 years ago. Humans fought these guys - definitely not something to shove in the "earliest mammals" chapter. But then, we're talking about yetis, so, whatever. This guy's just getting his snore on before we rush up on him, but he finds his composure something fast.

This is a valid question.
...How do you come to the conclusion that we're related to the yeti? I think its safe to say that no part of our body is remotely yeti-like. Whatever. I would've gone with "Pharooom...."


The mammoth actually does telegraph all of its attacks with a large trumpeting sound. Not that it's so complex as to need telegraphing. It's attack pattern consists of only 2 actions:
First, charge to a half-screen away from us, and launch 3 heat-seeking acid snot bubbles, which do 4 dmg a pop (pun unintentional). They will pop harmlessly if failing to find a target within a little over a screen's length, though.


Next, his tusk will glisten in the winter sun, and he will charge us for a dangerous 14 dmg. It's pretty easy to leap over this attack, and its easy to run from the bubbles. But, as soon as you leap over the charge, he'll begin a fresh round of bubbles, making counter-attacks difficult. Worse, if you're in a corner when he launches the bubbles, it's very difficult to escape with low jumping and agility. Most terribly, if one bubble hits you, all the rest probably will, and the window to escape the immediately following charge attack is quite small.

We die speedily while taking photos. Such is the hard life of a combat correspondent.


The safest and simplest strategy is to flee from the bubbles, leap on-and-over the mammoth when he charges, then repeat. The Italian plumber strategy, if you will. However, we are nowhere near as corpulent as the master of this technique, and the measly 2 dmg of each leap attack could make this fight take forever.

Far more effective are our terrible hippo jaws, allowing 8 dmg per bite. The mammoth is most inactive after launching his bubbles. He will remain 100% immobile until those bubbles have popped, no matter what we do. However, this is the worst time to attack him. It's easy to get a hit in, but as soon as he has a free moment, he'll be charging, and we will not be avoiding it if we're in biting range. Second, those bubbles are quite speedy, and getting a bite in without the bubbles doubling back and paralyzing us for his following charge attack is difficult. The correct strategy is to leap over a charge "just so," allowing a bite attack as we descend. Avoiding the bubbles after a bite is much easier.


Better yet. just keep biting. Once we have our jaws in, it's a game of reflexes. We have to rush forward and bite him again before he can get the first bubble out. Because once he does, it'll interrupt us, guaranteeing a charge attack as well. Fortunately, we have enough EVO.P to afford a heal or two, and so we return to our rabbit body, giving us a much needed boost to speed and health, and completing Adam's request.


The battle wages on, but we achieve victory! The boss seems to make a rather paltry meal, though. I thought the tyranosaurs were a bit too normal for a boss, but this mammoth is only offering up this much as well!? Lame.


Oh... mammoth brothers. Riiiight..... ...sigh...
A second battle begins as the sun sets. It is much like the first. Even exactly so, you could say. At least his brother's flesh restored our health for round 2. The last screen there is our proving just a little too slow to get a bite in before the snot barrage began.


We slay the dreaded vomammoth on the right side of the stage, resulting in a lull in the action. You see, the next mammoth won't spawn unless we're far enough from stage right to give him a relatively safe entrance. But once he finally emerges, he learns that he underestimated us! We charge in and pin him against the side of the screen before the first bubble is blown, and he is rapidly devoured. And that was the end of the mammoth brothers.

But, as we devour the last of the terrible trio, the screen begins to rumble once more! Ah, they were a deception! The mammoth father must now be on his way!

Or, rather, the mammoth sister? Girlfriend? Whatever she is, she is most certainly a female, because there is no way she would ever be PINK otherwise. How will she respond to our slaughtering of her male counterparts? Will she be heartbroken? Grateful? Enraged?


By acknowleding that her male folk were idiots, and admiring how easily (ignoring our veto'd deaths) we defeated them. This is a classy lady.
Ice Pole Spirit? How do you close a pole?


We give her a smile, and move a whee bit closer, the stroking of our ego easily appeasing us. However, though she is non-aggressive, we still take collision damage as we move towards her! Unacceptable! We put her in her place. That is, in our stomachs. She actually functions exactly like the other mammoths in combat, to include giving the same EVO.P, for a nice change of pace.


And a new stage has been exposed for us! I'll be continuing to try to achieve all of the evolutions that have been suggested up until now, but feel free to keep making suggestions, and I'll start on the new ones once I finish the backlog of recommendations. We still have a whole other chapter after this one, so there's no rush. One of the most interesting stages in the game comes next, and if Chapter 3 tried to wow us with its sci-fi detour, we're now about to get Chapter 4's high-fantasy detour!

Next time: Laputa!

I am pleased with this long-necked hippo monstrosity.

I assume you'll be evolving into one of these, then:

Oh hell yes. This forum needs more Miyazaki references.

Long-necked hippo monstrosity does kind of work, somehow.

But oh man oh man, I know what's coming up. Next update is going to sing.

I think I've been pretty close to the best combo I could get for that already... Probably Small Cat Body, Rabbit Jaws, and a Mane? I'll add it to the list. Now my anger at never being an insect is renewed. If only I could play as an ohmu...