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Scientists have determined that Uranus once took a colossal pounding and it's never really recovered.

q 3

here to eat fish and erase the universe
NASA wants to probe Uranus but they're worried it's too large and frigid.


Check the one guy commenting on that Twitter thread saying Uranus jokes are old and not funny anymore. He's wrong though. This is the one "hack" joke that's still always funny. I will always laugh at these jokes.

It's like dude, I don't know what happened with Uranus that you get all upset whenever someone jokes about it, but have you ever thought that maybe you just take Uranus too seriously?


Fearful asymmetry
"SUN AR U." No, not at all! In fact, it's well documented that this is not a place where the sun shines.


Summon for hire
Was wondering what awesome place he works at and of course it’s JPL. Lots of cool stuff in his feed.


So obviously NASA's just crowdsourcing dirty jokes but probably won't actually use any of those, picking the first actual serious mature suggestion they can actually find.

Ideally this would be a mythological reference as fits the pattern but... wait who even is the actual god Uranus?
Some Mythology Site or Something said:
According to myth, Uranus came to Gaia every night and sired the children upon her, but he disliked all of them. He considered them threats to his power. Though his Titan children could be quite beautiful, Uranus was so repelled by the sight of the Hecatoncheires that he tried to push them back into Gaia’s womb, which caused her terrible pain. Eventually, Uranus imprisoned the Cyclopes and the Hecatoncheires in Tartarus, a gloomy place that lay beneath the Earth or Hades.

This caused Gaia to resent Uranus even more, and she plotted with her Titan children to at least overthrow him, since Uranus was immortal and couldn’t be killed. Only her youngest son Cronus agreed to the plot, because he wanted to replace his father as leader of the gods. Gaia fashioned a sickle of flint and gave it to him.

One night, when Uranus came to Gaia, his sons ambushed him and held him down while Cronus used the sickle to castrate him. He threw both the sickle and Uranus’ genitals into the sea. The blood from the mutilation fell on the earth and gave rise to the Gigantes, or Giants; the ash tree nymphs called the Meliae and the Furies, or the Erinyes. Some myths claim that the Telchines, gods who settled the isle of Rhodes, were also born at this time. The goddess Aphrodite arose from the genitals that were tossed into the sea.
Oh right that guy. So we've got... constant banging, unbirth, castration, and like... getting pregnant from the biggest toilet seat ever as potential things to reference. That's all still dirty.

Oh, but we've also got the Sailor Moon character! What about referencing one of those attacks?

Operation Space Sword Blaster?


The World Shaking Mission?

Bit dramatic...

The Make Everyone Reveal They're Queer Project?


Power is fleeting, love is eternal