madhair60
Video games
PREVIOUSLY ON ME BEING A FUCKING IDIOT:
005 - I don't know what this is
007: Agent Under Fire - I think I played this once.
007: Blood Stone - Dunno. Looks cool.
007 Car Chase - Never played it but it sounds great.
007: Everything or Nothing - This was the one with that woman in it.
007 Ice Racer - Never played it.
007 Legends - I really want a copy of this.
007: Licence to Kill - Man, what a great movie. Dunno about the game.
007: Nightfire - Dunno.
007: Quantum of Solace - Pretty good CoD clone.
007: Racing - Sounds shit.
007: The World is Not Enough - Dunno, movie sucked.
007: Tomorrow Never Dies - Dunno, movie sucked.
0 day Attack on Earth - Never heard of it, sounds shit.
0D Beat Drop - Same, but this actually sounds awesome.
10000000 - Pretty great little iOS puzzler.
The $1,000,000 Pyramid - So is this a pyramid that cost a million bucks, or what? Anyway, dunno.
10.000 Bullets - This sounds exciting.
10,000 Games - Honestly, this sounds like the greatest thing ever. You'd never need another game.
1000 Amps - Cute, enjoyable platform puzzle game that costs a pittance.
1000 Best Games for Windows - No point in this when there's the one with ten times as many.
1000 Best Solitaire Games - How many Solitaire games do you need!?
1000cc Turbo - That's really fast! Never played this though.
1000 Games - No point, again, with the 10k one.
1000 Games: Volume 3 - Mate.
1000 Heroz - That seems an excessive number of Heroz.
1000 Miglia - And an excessive number of Miglias.
1000-nen Okoku - No fucking idea.
1000 Words - What, do you just look at the words? When you think about it that isn't even all that many words.
1001 Minigolf Challenge - I'd probably get bored around 24 Minigolfs in.
1001 Nights: The Adventures of Sindbad - This sounds genuinely brilliant.
1001 Tangram Puzzles - I like tangrams so this is probably good.
100 Action Arcade Games Volume 2 - Whatever happened to volume one?
100% Classics 2 - This probably doesn't have 10,000 games on it.
100% Dynamite - Dunno what this is but it sounds ace.
100games: Luchsie fermy - No fucking clue.
100 Smash Win95 Games - Again, not many by comparison.
100th Anniversary of the Crossword Puzzle - Who cares? Who actually cares.
101 Dalmatians: Escape From DeVil Manor - Never played this but it sounds really good.
101-kaime no Approach Shot - Dunno.
101: The Airborne Invasion of Normandy - That was a good invasion so it's probably a good game.
1080 Avalanche - Never played this. It's Nintendo so it's probably good.
1080 Snowboarding - Ditto.
10 Action Packed PC Games: All Action: This is a smaller number than 10,000.
10 Amazingly Awful Games - Of everything on the list so far, this is the one that interests me the most.
10 Computer Hits 1 - Why have ten when you can have 10,000 in the other thing?
10 Computer Hits 2 - Mate.
10 Computer Hits 3 - Mate.
10 Computer Hits 4 - Mate.
10 Computer Hits 5 - Mate.
10 Days Under the Sea - That's not even really that long.
10 Great Games - Mate.
10 Great Games 3 - Mate!
10 Great Games II - MATE.
10 Great Games Just For Dad - As I'm not a dad I do not feel qualified to review this.
10... Knockout! - Spoilers in the title.
10 Mega Games Volume One - Fucking hell!
10 Mega Hits - Right, that's it; compilations with fewer than 10,000 games are hereby disqualified. If you see one, consider it shit.
10 Minute Solution - This is just sinister.
10-Pin Bowling - Bowling is the worst, and so will this be.
10 Seconds or Less - Sounds great, I've been angling for shorter games.
10six Online - Sorry, what mate? Actually what though?
10 Talismans - A meagre number of talismans, frankly.
10th Frame - Doesn't sound very exciting.
10 Tons of Games: Mega Collection 1 - HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE. Ten tons of games!? Fuck me - that's amazing! This is the new king shit motherfucker of compilations!
10-Yard Fight - That is a bloody close-quarters fight when you think about it.
118 118 Nummerjakten - Sounds shit.
1193 Anno Domini: Merchants and Crusader - Sounds like some boring nerd game.
The 11th Hour - Sequel to 7th Guest, FMV game, good nostalgic stuff, also impossible.
12 - I don't know.
1213 - Nope. No idea.
1-2-3 Bumblebee - Sounds good but I haven't played it.
1... 2... 3... KICK IT! (Drop That Beat Like an Ugly Baby) - I own this but have never played it, because Steam.
12 O'Clock High: Bombing the Reich - I fucking hate the Reich, so this appeals to me.
12th Century BlackJack - What difference does the century make to BlackJack?
1337 Ship Deathmatch - This was made by a dev called "1337 Pwnage". Therefore, fuck it off.
13 Ghosts - A piddling number of ghosts.
1503 A.D.: The New World - I don't like games set in the past. 0/10.
1552 Tenka Tairan - No idea.
15 Days - Nope. Nothing.
15 Move Hole Puzzle - Seems like it might be a bit short.
15 Puzzle - Erm... is this the same thing again?
15 x 15 - Christ, enough!
16 - Finally.
1602 A.D. - Spider-Man had better be in this.
16t - No idea.
1701 A.D. - The sequel to 1602, presumably, much like the actual year.
177 - Jesus, guys, we are still a long way off "A".
1815 - A shit year.
1830: Railroads & Robber Barons - Ah, I do like railroads but I'm lukewarm on robber barons.
1848 - Fucking care mate
1849 - Fucking care mate
1869 - Fucking care mate
187: Ride or Die - I'll take "ride" please.
1893: A World's Fair Mystery - Does this sound appealing to ANYONE?
18 Wheels of Steel: Across America - There are about fifteen of these and they all sound shit.
1912: Titanic Mystery - It hit an iceberg and sank. Mystery solved.
1914: Shells of Fury - I choose to believe this is a TMNT prequel.
1914: The Great War - It was only a reasonable war, frankly.
1916: Der unbekannte Krieg - I don't know what this means.
19-2: Operation Antigang - Fictional GooberGrump propaganda game.
1931: Scheherazade at the Library of Pergamum - I only know a few of those words.
1939-1945: Krieg an allen Fronten - That's World War 2, one of the best wars.
193 sovereign countries in 15 minutes - Too short.
1941: Counter Attack - I can't tell the difference between most of these Capcom 194x games but they're all fun.
1941: Frozen Front - This about the time I lost my shirt in the industrial freezer. Haha, joking, it's probably about war.
1942 - Chukchuk chukaluk a lukluk *BEEP* chukchuck chukaluk a lukluk *BEEP* lukluk *BEEP lukluk *BEEP* etc
1942: Joint Strike - Haven't played this but it's probably fun.
1942: The Pacific Air War - Haven't played this but as it's not by Capcom it's probably boring.
1943 Kai - Also good.
1943: The Battle of Midway - A fictionalised account of the legal fight for Midway's back catalogue upon their dissolution. Nah, joking. War.
1945 AirWar - Mate.
1945 I & II: The Arcade Games - Ah, now this I like, couple of great Psikyo shmups on PS2. World War 2, if WW2 had mechas.
1954: Alcatraz - Probably some sort of prison game.
1955 - The Secret Mission - You have my attention with this secret mission.
1985: The Day After - After what? This is just stupid.
1990: Die 1993'er Edition - Wait. 1990: The 1993 Edition? Are you kidding me right now?
1991 Du Ma Racing - Internet meme kart racer. This joke relies on a torturous understanding of "numa numa" and a misunderstanding thereof.
1993tris - A boring version of Tetris where you only have three numbers to work with and you have to spell "1993". I'm making this up but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm right.
1994Pool+ - Mother fuck every pool game.
1994 (Ten Years After) - Ten years after... 1984? Oh, so 1985 took place on 31st December 1984. I see.
1999: Hore, Mita koto ka! Seikimatsu - Probably some bullshit anime crap.
19 Part 1: Boot Camp - Don't forget the boot disk! Hahahahaha
19XX: The War Against Destiny - A valiant attempt to destroy Bungie's lucrative service game follow-up to Halo.
1C Complete Collection - Er... I see
1Check - I don't have any idea what this could be.
1 Day a Mosquito - A bizarre prequel to the Chzo mythos. Nah I'm joking.
1-i - I don't know.
1Key Minigolf - Sounds boring.
1Key Rocket Launcher - Now we're talking.
1k-mini-bdash - What, like a haberdashery?
1K ZX Chess - Chess innit.
1 Moment of Time: Silentville - Famously sued by Konami.
1NSANE - A racing game I've actually heard of. Played? No.
1 on 1 - Dull name for a possibly dull game.
1st Division Manager - There is no doubt in my mind that this is a British microcomputer game.
1st Person Pinball - God, this sounds vomit-inducing.
1 Ton - Nope.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - Twenty thousand!? That's double what the other compilation offe- oh.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Captain Nemo - The sequel, in which they remembered to include Captain Nemo.
2001 Alien Combat - Some sort of alien combat game.
2002 FIFA World Cup - Football. Usually the year comes last.
2004 Long Jump - How good can this be when Track & Field exists?
2004 Real Soccer - FUCK ALL OTHER FAKE SOCCER. This is the real deal.
2004: Space Becherovka - I don't know.
2005 Traffic - Much like all other traffic really.
2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa - Another, different world cup.
2010: The Graphic Action Game - Point n' click British Hung Parliament simulator.
2020 Special Ops - Sounds shit.
2025: Battle for Fatherland - Motherland I've heard of, but Fatherland? Geddafuckoutatown
2060 Cyber Racer - The best game ever most likely.
2088 - No idea.
20 Pferdespiele - Twenty paedophiles!?
20 Squares - Twenty TT posters aaaahahahaha no j/k you guys are alright
2112 - A Field Trip - A 2112 field trip to a history museum with the 1990s in it.
2176 Supernova Storm - The worst kind of storm.
21: Blackjack - The 21st in a series of vanilla card games.
21-en - *Blank stare*
21 Gewinnt - *Blank stare*
221 B Baker St. - AH! Probably Sherlock Holmes! I don't know, it's just... Baker Street! So it's probably Sherlock Holmes.
2400 A.D. - Just another year.
24 Tested Ready-To-Run Game Programs in BASIC - These are plainly going to be awful.
24: The Game - If it's anything like the series, it's shite.
25,000 Sudoku Puzzles - That is a lot, to be fair. Credit where it's due.
25 to Life - American McGee game I think. Never played, looks awful. I'd probably like it.
2Fast 2Furious - The game of the worthless franchise so beloved of idiots. I mean, erm, opinions, reasoned discourse
2 Good 2 Be True: Volume 1 - A game about my genitals.
2 Hot 2 Handle - A game about my genitals.
2K-Fighter - I don't know, but it's not about my genitals.
2 Pics 1 Answer - A game about my sexting technique that led to a night in the cells.
2 Player Soccer Squad - Some sort of multiplayer soccer, to be fair at least it's multiplayer.
2 Shot Diary - A game about the diary found in my bedroom that led to the prosecution.
2 Tasty - A game about my geni- you got it. You get the sex joke.
2x2 - Noah's ark simulator I guess.
2Xtreme - No comment.
300: March to Glory - Heard bad things
3105 A.D. - Oh, who cares anymore. Don't call your game a year unless you're Capcom.
31 for Windows - Thirty one what?
31: Iwayuru Hitotsu no Cho Lovely na Boken Katsugeki - Lovely, I guess.
333,000 Games - *Spit take* THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY THREE THOUSAND GAMES!? Step aside, 100,000 games - YOU HAVE BEEN TOPPLED!
360 Lines - A game about a cocaine addict.
365 Puzzle Club - That's too many meetings. At least make it once a week. Twice at most. 104 Puzzle Club, max.
365 Solitaire Club - ugh
38000 Kilo no Koku - I don't know what this is.
The 39 Steps - This is actually a film.
3 Cards to Dead Time - Intrigued, but ignorant.
3 Cards to Midnight - Less intrigue due to lack of death.
3 Count Bout - That sounds like quite a short bout.
3d24 - Jack Bauer flying towards your face. No.
3D 3D! - For when just one 3D isn't enough.
The 3D Adventures of Sailor Moon - I experience my sexual awakening watching heavily cut episodes of Sailor Moon on GMTV in the mid-late nineties. I mean, some sort of game.
3D Alien Invasion - Aliens flying towards your face.
3D Armada - An armada flying towards your face.
3 Days: Zoo Mystery - A zoo fl- wait, it's not 3D? Oh thank fuck. A zebra goes missing or some shit.
3D Ball Blaster - Balls flying towards your face. Yeah, I know. I'm gonna try to ignore the 3D bit from now on.
3D Baseball - Well, it's baseball, so I DGAF.
3D Bat Attack - The most frightening game ever.
3D Battle Tank - Sounds shit, tanks are shit.
3-D Body Adventure - WHOA! I didn't know there was gonna be porn on here!
3D Bomber - How generic is that title?
3D Bomberman Atomic - Didn't know this existed! Remember Atomic Bomberman? In the UK it was an ubiquitous thing, sold for a fiver at every shop. Bomberman but westernised, with a hidden level editor and a load of sound files you could dig up on the disc that had the characters cursing up a storm. As a child, this was the best thing ever.
3D Boxing - Blah.
3-D Breakout - Imagine this being fun. You can't.
3-D Brickaway - The same as above, I expect.
3D Brick Busters - And this.
3D Cargame - Way to go guys, way to name your game. Bravo.
3D Caveman Rocks - I'll be the judge of that, game!
3D Code Cracker - Why would code cracking need to be in 3D? I demand answers.
3D Crazy Ballz - Whoa-ho, I like the sound of that!
3DCube - You just look at and rotate a cube. No, actually, you can't even rotate it. It's just there.
3D Defence - 3D is fine in concept, it's just that the execution hasn't quite matched its - oh, wait, I see.
3D Desert Patrol - Patrol the desert. TOWARDS YOUR FACE
3D DesertRun - Then RUN through the desert.
3-D Dinosaur Adventure - I don't know what this is but I'd play it.
3D Dot Game Heroes - Never played this but heard decent things.
3D Dragon Duel - Sounds fucking brilliant.
3D Driver - Blah blah.
3-Demon - Whooooa, nice title. Clever! I award this game an 8.
3D Flipper XXL - This is probably a pinball game, but wouldn't it be great if it was about dolphins?
3D Frog Frenzy - One of those shit Pac-Man clones I will mention later, due to writing this out of order and not giving a fuck about consistency. It's not even a Frogger clone; that would be too good.
3-D Frog Man - The same exact game repackaged.
3D Galax - You forgot the "Y", guys.
3D Galaxy Fighters - This is better. I don't know what it is but at least the title is complete.
3d Girlz - *Blushes*
3-D Glooper - Whaaaat
3D Golf - Well, this again is a game you can visualise.
3D Hunting: Trophy Whitetail - I've actually played this. It's honestly not that bad. It's tense and difficult and you get to murder deer.
3D Infinity - Fucking hell! If this is a compilation, 330,000 games has lost its crown.
3D Lawn Darts - Seriously?
3D Lemmings Winterland - Expansion pack for the baffling ordeal that is 3D Lemmings.
3D Lunattack - No idea, great name though.
3D MahJongg - If you absolutely must have your Mahjongg projected at you.
3D Marble Flip - How can you flip something that's perfectly spherical? Surely it would be 3D Marble Roll.
3D Maze - There are three games all called 3D Maze and I'd wager they're all shit.
3D Maze Man: Amazing Adventures - I see what they did there.
3D Mini Golf: Castles - Mini golf presumably taking place in a castle of some sort.
3D Missile Madness - An absolutely wild and crazy amount of missiles.
3D Monster Maze - Absolutely classic and still terrifying ZX81 game. Primitive as hell but remains effective.
3D Ms. Maze: Tropical Adventures - Presumably one of those cheapo knock-off "3D" Pac-Man clones they used to sell at a pittance.
3DO Games: Decathlon - Well, it's on 3DO so it's literally unplayable.
3D Othello Deluxe - Why would Othello need to be in 3D?
3 D OXO - A game in which stock cubes fly out of the screen towards your face, surrounding you with beefy wonder. No, not really. It's probably tic-tac-toe.
3D Pac Man - Pac-Man but shitter and harder I expect.
3D Pinball - There are four games with this name and I feel that this speaks for itself.
3D Pool - FUCK POOL
3D-Puzzlespass - I don't know.
3D Railroad Master - I don't know but I love the sound of it.
3D Recon - Some sort of recon game.
3-D Red Baron Dogfight/Flight Simulator - Probably hasn't even got Snoopy in it.
3D Roller Coaster Designer - Sounds like the best thing ever made and I'm going to seek it out.
3D Scacchi Simulator - What's a scacchi?
3D Schiffe versenken - Nope.
3D Scooter Racing - SCOOTER RACING!? Give a fuck mate.
3D-Seeschlacht - Nope.
3D Seiddab Attack - Nope.
3D Shooting Tsukuru - Shoot all the tsukurus.
3D Silicon Fish - Uh... okay, lads. Did we really need a game of that?
3-D Skramble - A huge rip-off of Konami's brilliant Scramble. Probably.
3D Slam Ping Pong - COME ON AND SLAM! Some table tennis.
3D Slime - Uhhh...
3D Space Wars - Generic-ass title, game's probably amazing.
3D Speed Duel - Sounds interesting but, no, I don't know.
3D Spryjinx - Like hijinx but more limber. Fuck knows.
3D Starstrike - STRIKE THE STARS! I'm so glad I'm nearly done with this 3D shit.
3D Stock Car Championship - Nobody can make stock cars interesting.
3D Stock Cars II - Not even this sequel.
3D Stunt Rider - Perform cunning stunts. In 3D!
3-D TableSports - What is a table sport? Ping pong again? ...Bridge?
3D Tank Duel - Tanks suck.
3D Tanx - Tanx also suck.
3-D Tetris - This wouldn't work in 3D. I used to have a game called Block Out and it was 3D Tetris and it was shit.
3D Thinking Lab - I like the sound of this, but no idea.
3-D Tic-Tac-Toe - Ugh
3D Time Trek - If this has dinosaurs I'm in.
3-D Ultra Cool Pool - FUCK POOL
3-D Ultra Lionel Train Town Deluxe - Who? What? I like to imagine Lionel Richie going around on a train singing "Hello".
3-D Ultra Minigolf - There are eight of these. It used to crash for me, so it's shit.
3-D Ultra Pinball - Tons of these. I used to have Creep Night, it was pretty good.
3-D Ultra Radio Control Racers - Probably isn't very good.
3D World Boxing - Sequel to Super Mario 3D World, based on the Game and Watch game "Boxing". Obviously this is not true.
3-D WorldRunner - Fuck, missed this one. I actually like this game, it's a weird into-the-screen shooter/platformer with awesome music.
3-K Trivia - I guess a trivia game of some sort.
3 Ninjas Kick Back - This is actually pretty good, it's a Sony platformer with controls that are a little loose, but it has really cool Amiga-ish graphics and a pretty decent level design.
3 on 3 NHL Arcade - Some hockey shit. Fuck hockey. Fuck sports.
3 Point Basketball - Except NBA Jam, that was good. Dunno about this.
The 3rd Birthday - Third game in the Parasite Eve series, or something. Never played it, heard really bad things. All I remember about it is it has a really lurid clothing damage mechanic, which says a lot about me really.
3rd Degree - A game in which you chew out your son for his ill behaviour. Maybe.
The 3rd Millennium - No idea, sounds like the subtitle to a KOF game.
3rd World Farmer - Whoa, this doesn't sound fun.
3 Skulls of the Toltecs - Collect some skulls. No, I don't know.
3 Stars of Destiny - I don't know what this is either.
3Tones - No idea but it sounds awful.
3w1: Autka, Dark Moon, Mr. Tomato - What the fuck?
3x3 Eyes: Juma Hokan - Oh god here we go. Based on some anime or something. There are six of them, I don't know anything about it.
3x Logic Games - Like 4x but with one less x. Probably exploration.
3Xtreme - CYCLING GAME, fuck off.
40 Winks - Pretty enjoyable little collectathon platformer.
428: Fusa Sareta Shibuya de - Dunno.
4:32 - The shortest game ever?
'43 - One Year After - Not this shit again. One year after what? '42?
46 - Yes, this is the name of the game. Forty six.
46 Okunen Monogatari: The Shinkaron - THE SHINKARON is my new nickname.
48 Night Story - Too long, shit story.
4-D Boxing - HOLY FUCK GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION
4 Degrees: The Arc of Trivia - Q. Is this game good? A. No.
4D Prince of Persia - Getting impossibly frustrated by the mirror sequence. IN FOUR DIMENSIONS!! (!?)
4D Sports Tennis - I don't know what this could possibly bring to the table.
4 Elements - I believe this is a matching game.
4 Elements II - I believe this is a sequel to a matching game.
4Flush - A game about my boxing day shit.
4 Gewinnt - 4 wins. Thanks, poster who told me German who I already forgot!
4KKong - A version of Donkey Kong that runs in 4k, I guess.
4 Minutes and 33 Seconds of Uniqueness - Well, I'm intrigued.
4 Nin Uchi Mahjong - Another Mahjongg game.
4NR - I don't know.
4 Queens Computer Casino - Gambling without the risk. Or reward.
4th & Inches - A game about yer da's cock.
The 4th Unit 2 - This game is by "Data West". Are they like bizarro Data East?
The 4th Unit - Wait, what? Why is this one listed second?
4 Wheel Drive - Drivin' on hills!
4 Wheel Thunder - Drivin' on hills! In a storm!
4x4 Evo - Drivin' on hills! At a fighting game tournament!
4x4 Evo 2 - Drivin' on hills! At a fighting game tournament!
4x4 Extreme Rally 2006 - Drivin' on hills! In 2006!
4x4 Hummer - Drivin' on hills! While getting a beej!
4x4 Team - Drivin' on hills! With your pals!
500cc Motomanager - Manage the living fuck out of some motos.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand - A genuinely enjoyable and ridiculous TPS. Seriously, rent it.
50 Cent: Bulletproof - A shit game. Sorry, Blood on the Sand fans.
50 Great Games plus Knights of the Sky - I'm normally cutting compilations but I love this so I left it in. 50 great games! Plus Knights of the Sky... yeah, we know, it's shit.
50K Racewalker - Pretty sure this is a Homestar Runner game.
50 Mission Crush - Man this sounds cool. If it didn't exist already I would name my own game this.
50 States - I don't know. A list of states?
5 A Day Adventures - I bet this is edutainment.
5 Alarm Trivia - HOTTT TRIVIA
The 5-Card Poker Collection - Well that wouldn't be a very good game of poker, now would it?
5 Days a Stranger - Pretty cool freeware point n' click by Yahtzee of Zero Punctuation fame. Good atmosphere.
5-Draw Mania - A man loses his mind upon seeing his new furniture.
5 Jikan me no Venus - I don't know.
5-Letter-Kruiswoord - I don't know.
5 Spots - Uh... no clue.
5 Spots II - The sequel.
5th Anniversary - Um, of what? This is no help.
5th Fleet - Where four fleets have failed before.
5th Gear - Tie-in videogame to the Channel 5 Top Gear rip-off nobody watches.
5X - 4x but with an extra X. For excitement!
5x5 - Twenty-five.
5x5 Edytor hasel - A newspaper employee badgers his boss. Get it?
60th Anniversary of Stanislaw Lem's First Publication - I uh... I got nothing.
610 DEAR.BEN - *Blankly stares, shaking head*
64 Ozumo - I don't know, but it is made by a company called "Bottom Up" so it's probably sex,
64th Street: A Detective Story - No idea but it sounds good, 'tecs are cool.
688 Attack Sub - A really weird and cool naval simulation.
6 Colors - Just a static display of six colours, what is the point. No, I don't know what this is.
6 Days a Sacrifice - Sequel/prequel (I forget) to Five Days a Stranger. Good stuff.
720 - Awesome old-school skateboarding game. Nearly impossible.
737-400: Greatest Airliners - Special Edition - Only the very best airliners.
737 Flight Simulator - Now just what could this possibly be?
737 NG: 600 / 700 - Uhhh...
747 - Right.
747-200 Ready for Pushback - A 747 slowly becomes accustomed to the receipt of anal sex. Sorry, no,that's just awful.
747 Flight Simulator - *Rubs temples*
750cc Grand Prix - Not as good as that 1000cc one.
7554 - !!???!?
757 Captain - Oh, now it's a captain.
757 Professional - WHAT!? You mean that last guy wasn't a professional!?
7.62 - What an oddly specific number.
7 Artifacts - Generic name, don't care.
7 Blades - I think I've heard of this. Played it? No, no.
7 Colors - No idea.
7 Days a Skeptic - Chzo mythos, Yahtzee, good game.
7 Dni a 7 noci - I'm going to guess that this means "7 Days and 7 Nights".
7 Grand Steps: What Ancients Begat - The best title I've seen in a while.
7 Gunfighters - So generic. I don't know.
7NK: The Seven Noble Kinsmen - A Shakespearean Murder Mystery - One of the most laughable acronyms I've ever seen. "Yeah mate let's get our 7NK on"
7 Sins - Includes a minigame in which twirling analog sticks take the place of a stripper's bare breasts and you have to manipulate them. I am not making this up.
7Strains: The Infectious - Christ knows, sounds awful.
The 7th Guest - Classic, CLASSIC FMV horror game with near-impossible puzzles.
7th Legion - I don't know, something about mecha?
The 7th Saga - I don't know, some JRPG probably.
7th Swarming of the Machines - You'd think we'd be used to it by now.
7 Wonders - I believe this to be some sort of match-three.
7x7 - F-forty-nine?
7 Zwerge: Das Brettspiel - No clue.
005 - I don't know what this is
007: Agent Under Fire - I think I played this once.
007: Blood Stone - Dunno. Looks cool.
007 Car Chase - Never played it but it sounds great.
007: Everything or Nothing - This was the one with that woman in it.
007 Ice Racer - Never played it.
007 Legends - I really want a copy of this.
007: Licence to Kill - Man, what a great movie. Dunno about the game.
007: Nightfire - Dunno.
007: Quantum of Solace - Pretty good CoD clone.
007: Racing - Sounds shit.
007: The World is Not Enough - Dunno, movie sucked.
007: Tomorrow Never Dies - Dunno, movie sucked.
0 day Attack on Earth - Never heard of it, sounds shit.
0D Beat Drop - Same, but this actually sounds awesome.
10000000 - Pretty great little iOS puzzler.
The $1,000,000 Pyramid - So is this a pyramid that cost a million bucks, or what? Anyway, dunno.
10.000 Bullets - This sounds exciting.
10,000 Games - Honestly, this sounds like the greatest thing ever. You'd never need another game.
1000 Amps - Cute, enjoyable platform puzzle game that costs a pittance.
1000 Best Games for Windows - No point in this when there's the one with ten times as many.
1000 Best Solitaire Games - How many Solitaire games do you need!?
1000cc Turbo - That's really fast! Never played this though.
1000 Games - No point, again, with the 10k one.
1000 Games: Volume 3 - Mate.
1000 Heroz - That seems an excessive number of Heroz.
1000 Miglia - And an excessive number of Miglias.
1000-nen Okoku - No fucking idea.
1000 Words - What, do you just look at the words? When you think about it that isn't even all that many words.
1001 Minigolf Challenge - I'd probably get bored around 24 Minigolfs in.
1001 Nights: The Adventures of Sindbad - This sounds genuinely brilliant.
1001 Tangram Puzzles - I like tangrams so this is probably good.
100 Action Arcade Games Volume 2 - Whatever happened to volume one?
100% Classics 2 - This probably doesn't have 10,000 games on it.
100% Dynamite - Dunno what this is but it sounds ace.
100games: Luchsie fermy - No fucking clue.
100 Smash Win95 Games - Again, not many by comparison.
100th Anniversary of the Crossword Puzzle - Who cares? Who actually cares.
101 Dalmatians: Escape From DeVil Manor - Never played this but it sounds really good.
101-kaime no Approach Shot - Dunno.
101: The Airborne Invasion of Normandy - That was a good invasion so it's probably a good game.
1080 Avalanche - Never played this. It's Nintendo so it's probably good.
1080 Snowboarding - Ditto.
10 Action Packed PC Games: All Action: This is a smaller number than 10,000.
10 Amazingly Awful Games - Of everything on the list so far, this is the one that interests me the most.
10 Computer Hits 1 - Why have ten when you can have 10,000 in the other thing?
10 Computer Hits 2 - Mate.
10 Computer Hits 3 - Mate.
10 Computer Hits 4 - Mate.
10 Computer Hits 5 - Mate.
10 Days Under the Sea - That's not even really that long.
10 Great Games - Mate.
10 Great Games 3 - Mate!
10 Great Games II - MATE.
10 Great Games Just For Dad - As I'm not a dad I do not feel qualified to review this.
10... Knockout! - Spoilers in the title.
10 Mega Games Volume One - Fucking hell!
10 Mega Hits - Right, that's it; compilations with fewer than 10,000 games are hereby disqualified. If you see one, consider it shit.
10 Minute Solution - This is just sinister.
10-Pin Bowling - Bowling is the worst, and so will this be.
10 Seconds or Less - Sounds great, I've been angling for shorter games.
10six Online - Sorry, what mate? Actually what though?
10 Talismans - A meagre number of talismans, frankly.
10th Frame - Doesn't sound very exciting.
10 Tons of Games: Mega Collection 1 - HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE. Ten tons of games!? Fuck me - that's amazing! This is the new king shit motherfucker of compilations!
10-Yard Fight - That is a bloody close-quarters fight when you think about it.
118 118 Nummerjakten - Sounds shit.
1193 Anno Domini: Merchants and Crusader - Sounds like some boring nerd game.
The 11th Hour - Sequel to 7th Guest, FMV game, good nostalgic stuff, also impossible.
12 - I don't know.
1213 - Nope. No idea.
1-2-3 Bumblebee - Sounds good but I haven't played it.
1... 2... 3... KICK IT! (Drop That Beat Like an Ugly Baby) - I own this but have never played it, because Steam.
12 O'Clock High: Bombing the Reich - I fucking hate the Reich, so this appeals to me.
12th Century BlackJack - What difference does the century make to BlackJack?
1337 Ship Deathmatch - This was made by a dev called "1337 Pwnage". Therefore, fuck it off.
13 Ghosts - A piddling number of ghosts.
1503 A.D.: The New World - I don't like games set in the past. 0/10.
1552 Tenka Tairan - No idea.
15 Days - Nope. Nothing.
15 Move Hole Puzzle - Seems like it might be a bit short.
15 Puzzle - Erm... is this the same thing again?
15 x 15 - Christ, enough!
16 - Finally.
1602 A.D. - Spider-Man had better be in this.
16t - No idea.
1701 A.D. - The sequel to 1602, presumably, much like the actual year.
177 - Jesus, guys, we are still a long way off "A".
1815 - A shit year.
1830: Railroads & Robber Barons - Ah, I do like railroads but I'm lukewarm on robber barons.
1848 - Fucking care mate
1849 - Fucking care mate
1869 - Fucking care mate
187: Ride or Die - I'll take "ride" please.
1893: A World's Fair Mystery - Does this sound appealing to ANYONE?
18 Wheels of Steel: Across America - There are about fifteen of these and they all sound shit.
1912: Titanic Mystery - It hit an iceberg and sank. Mystery solved.
1914: Shells of Fury - I choose to believe this is a TMNT prequel.
1914: The Great War - It was only a reasonable war, frankly.
1916: Der unbekannte Krieg - I don't know what this means.
19-2: Operation Antigang - Fictional GooberGrump propaganda game.
1931: Scheherazade at the Library of Pergamum - I only know a few of those words.
1939-1945: Krieg an allen Fronten - That's World War 2, one of the best wars.
193 sovereign countries in 15 minutes - Too short.
1941: Counter Attack - I can't tell the difference between most of these Capcom 194x games but they're all fun.
1941: Frozen Front - This about the time I lost my shirt in the industrial freezer. Haha, joking, it's probably about war.
1942 - Chukchuk chukaluk a lukluk *BEEP* chukchuck chukaluk a lukluk *BEEP* lukluk *BEEP lukluk *BEEP* etc
1942: Joint Strike - Haven't played this but it's probably fun.
1942: The Pacific Air War - Haven't played this but as it's not by Capcom it's probably boring.
1943 Kai - Also good.
1943: The Battle of Midway - A fictionalised account of the legal fight for Midway's back catalogue upon their dissolution. Nah, joking. War.
1945 AirWar - Mate.
1945 I & II: The Arcade Games - Ah, now this I like, couple of great Psikyo shmups on PS2. World War 2, if WW2 had mechas.
1954: Alcatraz - Probably some sort of prison game.
1955 - The Secret Mission - You have my attention with this secret mission.
1985: The Day After - After what? This is just stupid.
1990: Die 1993'er Edition - Wait. 1990: The 1993 Edition? Are you kidding me right now?
1991 Du Ma Racing - Internet meme kart racer. This joke relies on a torturous understanding of "numa numa" and a misunderstanding thereof.
1993tris - A boring version of Tetris where you only have three numbers to work with and you have to spell "1993". I'm making this up but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm right.
1994Pool+ - Mother fuck every pool game.
1994 (Ten Years After) - Ten years after... 1984? Oh, so 1985 took place on 31st December 1984. I see.
1999: Hore, Mita koto ka! Seikimatsu - Probably some bullshit anime crap.
19 Part 1: Boot Camp - Don't forget the boot disk! Hahahahaha
19XX: The War Against Destiny - A valiant attempt to destroy Bungie's lucrative service game follow-up to Halo.
1C Complete Collection - Er... I see
1Check - I don't have any idea what this could be.
1 Day a Mosquito - A bizarre prequel to the Chzo mythos. Nah I'm joking.
1-i - I don't know.
1Key Minigolf - Sounds boring.
1Key Rocket Launcher - Now we're talking.
1k-mini-bdash - What, like a haberdashery?
1K ZX Chess - Chess innit.
1 Moment of Time: Silentville - Famously sued by Konami.
1NSANE - A racing game I've actually heard of. Played? No.
1 on 1 - Dull name for a possibly dull game.
1st Division Manager - There is no doubt in my mind that this is a British microcomputer game.
1st Person Pinball - God, this sounds vomit-inducing.
1 Ton - Nope.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - Twenty thousand!? That's double what the other compilation offe- oh.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Captain Nemo - The sequel, in which they remembered to include Captain Nemo.
2001 Alien Combat - Some sort of alien combat game.
2002 FIFA World Cup - Football. Usually the year comes last.
2004 Long Jump - How good can this be when Track & Field exists?
2004 Real Soccer - FUCK ALL OTHER FAKE SOCCER. This is the real deal.
2004: Space Becherovka - I don't know.
2005 Traffic - Much like all other traffic really.
2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa - Another, different world cup.
2010: The Graphic Action Game - Point n' click British Hung Parliament simulator.
2020 Special Ops - Sounds shit.
2025: Battle for Fatherland - Motherland I've heard of, but Fatherland? Geddafuckoutatown
2060 Cyber Racer - The best game ever most likely.
2088 - No idea.
20 Pferdespiele - Twenty paedophiles!?
20 Squares - Twenty TT posters aaaahahahaha no j/k you guys are alright
2112 - A Field Trip - A 2112 field trip to a history museum with the 1990s in it.
2176 Supernova Storm - The worst kind of storm.
21: Blackjack - The 21st in a series of vanilla card games.
21-en - *Blank stare*
21 Gewinnt - *Blank stare*
221 B Baker St. - AH! Probably Sherlock Holmes! I don't know, it's just... Baker Street! So it's probably Sherlock Holmes.
2400 A.D. - Just another year.
24 Tested Ready-To-Run Game Programs in BASIC - These are plainly going to be awful.
24: The Game - If it's anything like the series, it's shite.
25,000 Sudoku Puzzles - That is a lot, to be fair. Credit where it's due.
25 to Life - American McGee game I think. Never played, looks awful. I'd probably like it.
2Fast 2Furious - The game of the worthless franchise so beloved of idiots. I mean, erm, opinions, reasoned discourse
2 Good 2 Be True: Volume 1 - A game about my genitals.
2 Hot 2 Handle - A game about my genitals.
2K-Fighter - I don't know, but it's not about my genitals.
2 Pics 1 Answer - A game about my sexting technique that led to a night in the cells.
2 Player Soccer Squad - Some sort of multiplayer soccer, to be fair at least it's multiplayer.
2 Shot Diary - A game about the diary found in my bedroom that led to the prosecution.
2 Tasty - A game about my geni- you got it. You get the sex joke.
2x2 - Noah's ark simulator I guess.
2Xtreme - No comment.
300: March to Glory - Heard bad things
3105 A.D. - Oh, who cares anymore. Don't call your game a year unless you're Capcom.
31 for Windows - Thirty one what?
31: Iwayuru Hitotsu no Cho Lovely na Boken Katsugeki - Lovely, I guess.
333,000 Games - *Spit take* THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY THREE THOUSAND GAMES!? Step aside, 100,000 games - YOU HAVE BEEN TOPPLED!
360 Lines - A game about a cocaine addict.
365 Puzzle Club - That's too many meetings. At least make it once a week. Twice at most. 104 Puzzle Club, max.
365 Solitaire Club - ugh
38000 Kilo no Koku - I don't know what this is.
The 39 Steps - This is actually a film.
3 Cards to Dead Time - Intrigued, but ignorant.
3 Cards to Midnight - Less intrigue due to lack of death.
3 Count Bout - That sounds like quite a short bout.
3d24 - Jack Bauer flying towards your face. No.
3D 3D! - For when just one 3D isn't enough.
The 3D Adventures of Sailor Moon - I experience my sexual awakening watching heavily cut episodes of Sailor Moon on GMTV in the mid-late nineties. I mean, some sort of game.
3D Alien Invasion - Aliens flying towards your face.
3D Armada - An armada flying towards your face.
3 Days: Zoo Mystery - A zoo fl- wait, it's not 3D? Oh thank fuck. A zebra goes missing or some shit.
3D Ball Blaster - Balls flying towards your face. Yeah, I know. I'm gonna try to ignore the 3D bit from now on.
3D Baseball - Well, it's baseball, so I DGAF.
3D Bat Attack - The most frightening game ever.
3D Battle Tank - Sounds shit, tanks are shit.
3-D Body Adventure - WHOA! I didn't know there was gonna be porn on here!
3D Bomber - How generic is that title?
3D Bomberman Atomic - Didn't know this existed! Remember Atomic Bomberman? In the UK it was an ubiquitous thing, sold for a fiver at every shop. Bomberman but westernised, with a hidden level editor and a load of sound files you could dig up on the disc that had the characters cursing up a storm. As a child, this was the best thing ever.
3D Boxing - Blah.
3-D Breakout - Imagine this being fun. You can't.
3-D Brickaway - The same as above, I expect.
3D Brick Busters - And this.
3D Cargame - Way to go guys, way to name your game. Bravo.
3D Caveman Rocks - I'll be the judge of that, game!
3D Code Cracker - Why would code cracking need to be in 3D? I demand answers.
3D Crazy Ballz - Whoa-ho, I like the sound of that!
3DCube - You just look at and rotate a cube. No, actually, you can't even rotate it. It's just there.
3D Defence - 3D is fine in concept, it's just that the execution hasn't quite matched its - oh, wait, I see.
3D Desert Patrol - Patrol the desert. TOWARDS YOUR FACE
3D DesertRun - Then RUN through the desert.
3-D Dinosaur Adventure - I don't know what this is but I'd play it.
3D Dot Game Heroes - Never played this but heard decent things.
3D Dragon Duel - Sounds fucking brilliant.
3D Driver - Blah blah.
3-Demon - Whooooa, nice title. Clever! I award this game an 8.
3D Flipper XXL - This is probably a pinball game, but wouldn't it be great if it was about dolphins?
3D Frog Frenzy - One of those shit Pac-Man clones I will mention later, due to writing this out of order and not giving a fuck about consistency. It's not even a Frogger clone; that would be too good.
3-D Frog Man - The same exact game repackaged.
3D Galax - You forgot the "Y", guys.
3D Galaxy Fighters - This is better. I don't know what it is but at least the title is complete.
3d Girlz - *Blushes*
3-D Glooper - Whaaaat
3D Golf - Well, this again is a game you can visualise.
3D Hunting: Trophy Whitetail - I've actually played this. It's honestly not that bad. It's tense and difficult and you get to murder deer.
3D Infinity - Fucking hell! If this is a compilation, 330,000 games has lost its crown.
3D Lawn Darts - Seriously?
3D Lemmings Winterland - Expansion pack for the baffling ordeal that is 3D Lemmings.
3D Lunattack - No idea, great name though.
3D MahJongg - If you absolutely must have your Mahjongg projected at you.
3D Marble Flip - How can you flip something that's perfectly spherical? Surely it would be 3D Marble Roll.
3D Maze - There are three games all called 3D Maze and I'd wager they're all shit.
3D Maze Man: Amazing Adventures - I see what they did there.
3D Mini Golf: Castles - Mini golf presumably taking place in a castle of some sort.
3D Missile Madness - An absolutely wild and crazy amount of missiles.
3D Monster Maze - Absolutely classic and still terrifying ZX81 game. Primitive as hell but remains effective.
3D Ms. Maze: Tropical Adventures - Presumably one of those cheapo knock-off "3D" Pac-Man clones they used to sell at a pittance.
3DO Games: Decathlon - Well, it's on 3DO so it's literally unplayable.
3D Othello Deluxe - Why would Othello need to be in 3D?
3 D OXO - A game in which stock cubes fly out of the screen towards your face, surrounding you with beefy wonder. No, not really. It's probably tic-tac-toe.
3D Pac Man - Pac-Man but shitter and harder I expect.
3D Pinball - There are four games with this name and I feel that this speaks for itself.
3D Pool - FUCK POOL
3D-Puzzlespass - I don't know.
3D Railroad Master - I don't know but I love the sound of it.
3D Recon - Some sort of recon game.
3-D Red Baron Dogfight/Flight Simulator - Probably hasn't even got Snoopy in it.
3D Roller Coaster Designer - Sounds like the best thing ever made and I'm going to seek it out.
3D Scacchi Simulator - What's a scacchi?
3D Schiffe versenken - Nope.
3D Scooter Racing - SCOOTER RACING!? Give a fuck mate.
3D-Seeschlacht - Nope.
3D Seiddab Attack - Nope.
3D Shooting Tsukuru - Shoot all the tsukurus.
3D Silicon Fish - Uh... okay, lads. Did we really need a game of that?
3-D Skramble - A huge rip-off of Konami's brilliant Scramble. Probably.
3D Slam Ping Pong - COME ON AND SLAM! Some table tennis.
3D Slime - Uhhh...
3D Space Wars - Generic-ass title, game's probably amazing.
3D Speed Duel - Sounds interesting but, no, I don't know.
3D Spryjinx - Like hijinx but more limber. Fuck knows.
3D Starstrike - STRIKE THE STARS! I'm so glad I'm nearly done with this 3D shit.
3D Stock Car Championship - Nobody can make stock cars interesting.
3D Stock Cars II - Not even this sequel.
3D Stunt Rider - Perform cunning stunts. In 3D!
3-D TableSports - What is a table sport? Ping pong again? ...Bridge?
3D Tank Duel - Tanks suck.
3D Tanx - Tanx also suck.
3-D Tetris - This wouldn't work in 3D. I used to have a game called Block Out and it was 3D Tetris and it was shit.
3D Thinking Lab - I like the sound of this, but no idea.
3-D Tic-Tac-Toe - Ugh
3D Time Trek - If this has dinosaurs I'm in.
3-D Ultra Cool Pool - FUCK POOL
3-D Ultra Lionel Train Town Deluxe - Who? What? I like to imagine Lionel Richie going around on a train singing "Hello".
3-D Ultra Minigolf - There are eight of these. It used to crash for me, so it's shit.
3-D Ultra Pinball - Tons of these. I used to have Creep Night, it was pretty good.
3-D Ultra Radio Control Racers - Probably isn't very good.
3D World Boxing - Sequel to Super Mario 3D World, based on the Game and Watch game "Boxing". Obviously this is not true.
3-D WorldRunner - Fuck, missed this one. I actually like this game, it's a weird into-the-screen shooter/platformer with awesome music.
3-K Trivia - I guess a trivia game of some sort.
3 Ninjas Kick Back - This is actually pretty good, it's a Sony platformer with controls that are a little loose, but it has really cool Amiga-ish graphics and a pretty decent level design.
3 on 3 NHL Arcade - Some hockey shit. Fuck hockey. Fuck sports.
3 Point Basketball - Except NBA Jam, that was good. Dunno about this.
The 3rd Birthday - Third game in the Parasite Eve series, or something. Never played it, heard really bad things. All I remember about it is it has a really lurid clothing damage mechanic, which says a lot about me really.
3rd Degree - A game in which you chew out your son for his ill behaviour. Maybe.
The 3rd Millennium - No idea, sounds like the subtitle to a KOF game.
3rd World Farmer - Whoa, this doesn't sound fun.
3 Skulls of the Toltecs - Collect some skulls. No, I don't know.
3 Stars of Destiny - I don't know what this is either.
3Tones - No idea but it sounds awful.
3w1: Autka, Dark Moon, Mr. Tomato - What the fuck?
3x3 Eyes: Juma Hokan - Oh god here we go. Based on some anime or something. There are six of them, I don't know anything about it.
3x Logic Games - Like 4x but with one less x. Probably exploration.
3Xtreme - CYCLING GAME, fuck off.
40 Winks - Pretty enjoyable little collectathon platformer.
428: Fusa Sareta Shibuya de - Dunno.
4:32 - The shortest game ever?
'43 - One Year After - Not this shit again. One year after what? '42?
46 - Yes, this is the name of the game. Forty six.
46 Okunen Monogatari: The Shinkaron - THE SHINKARON is my new nickname.
48 Night Story - Too long, shit story.
4-D Boxing - HOLY FUCK GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION
4 Degrees: The Arc of Trivia - Q. Is this game good? A. No.
4D Prince of Persia - Getting impossibly frustrated by the mirror sequence. IN FOUR DIMENSIONS!! (!?)
4D Sports Tennis - I don't know what this could possibly bring to the table.
4 Elements - I believe this is a matching game.
4 Elements II - I believe this is a sequel to a matching game.
4Flush - A game about my boxing day shit.
4 Gewinnt - 4 wins. Thanks, poster who told me German who I already forgot!
4KKong - A version of Donkey Kong that runs in 4k, I guess.
4 Minutes and 33 Seconds of Uniqueness - Well, I'm intrigued.
4 Nin Uchi Mahjong - Another Mahjongg game.
4NR - I don't know.
4 Queens Computer Casino - Gambling without the risk. Or reward.
4th & Inches - A game about yer da's cock.
The 4th Unit 2 - This game is by "Data West". Are they like bizarro Data East?
The 4th Unit - Wait, what? Why is this one listed second?
4 Wheel Drive - Drivin' on hills!
4 Wheel Thunder - Drivin' on hills! In a storm!
4x4 Evo - Drivin' on hills! At a fighting game tournament!
4x4 Evo 2 - Drivin' on hills! At a fighting game tournament!
4x4 Extreme Rally 2006 - Drivin' on hills! In 2006!
4x4 Hummer - Drivin' on hills! While getting a beej!
4x4 Team - Drivin' on hills! With your pals!
500cc Motomanager - Manage the living fuck out of some motos.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand - A genuinely enjoyable and ridiculous TPS. Seriously, rent it.
50 Cent: Bulletproof - A shit game. Sorry, Blood on the Sand fans.
50 Great Games plus Knights of the Sky - I'm normally cutting compilations but I love this so I left it in. 50 great games! Plus Knights of the Sky... yeah, we know, it's shit.
50K Racewalker - Pretty sure this is a Homestar Runner game.
50 Mission Crush - Man this sounds cool. If it didn't exist already I would name my own game this.
50 States - I don't know. A list of states?
5 A Day Adventures - I bet this is edutainment.
5 Alarm Trivia - HOTTT TRIVIA
The 5-Card Poker Collection - Well that wouldn't be a very good game of poker, now would it?
5 Days a Stranger - Pretty cool freeware point n' click by Yahtzee of Zero Punctuation fame. Good atmosphere.
5-Draw Mania - A man loses his mind upon seeing his new furniture.
5 Jikan me no Venus - I don't know.
5-Letter-Kruiswoord - I don't know.
5 Spots - Uh... no clue.
5 Spots II - The sequel.
5th Anniversary - Um, of what? This is no help.
5th Fleet - Where four fleets have failed before.
5th Gear - Tie-in videogame to the Channel 5 Top Gear rip-off nobody watches.
5X - 4x but with an extra X. For excitement!
5x5 - Twenty-five.
5x5 Edytor hasel - A newspaper employee badgers his boss. Get it?
60th Anniversary of Stanislaw Lem's First Publication - I uh... I got nothing.
610 DEAR.BEN - *Blankly stares, shaking head*
64 Ozumo - I don't know, but it is made by a company called "Bottom Up" so it's probably sex,
64th Street: A Detective Story - No idea but it sounds good, 'tecs are cool.
688 Attack Sub - A really weird and cool naval simulation.
6 Colors - Just a static display of six colours, what is the point. No, I don't know what this is.
6 Days a Sacrifice - Sequel/prequel (I forget) to Five Days a Stranger. Good stuff.
720 - Awesome old-school skateboarding game. Nearly impossible.
737-400: Greatest Airliners - Special Edition - Only the very best airliners.
737 Flight Simulator - Now just what could this possibly be?
737 NG: 600 / 700 - Uhhh...
747 - Right.
747-200 Ready for Pushback - A 747 slowly becomes accustomed to the receipt of anal sex. Sorry, no,that's just awful.
747 Flight Simulator - *Rubs temples*
750cc Grand Prix - Not as good as that 1000cc one.
7554 - !!???!?
757 Captain - Oh, now it's a captain.
757 Professional - WHAT!? You mean that last guy wasn't a professional!?
7.62 - What an oddly specific number.
7 Artifacts - Generic name, don't care.
7 Blades - I think I've heard of this. Played it? No, no.
7 Colors - No idea.
7 Days a Skeptic - Chzo mythos, Yahtzee, good game.
7 Dni a 7 noci - I'm going to guess that this means "7 Days and 7 Nights".
7 Grand Steps: What Ancients Begat - The best title I've seen in a while.
7 Gunfighters - So generic. I don't know.
7NK: The Seven Noble Kinsmen - A Shakespearean Murder Mystery - One of the most laughable acronyms I've ever seen. "Yeah mate let's get our 7NK on"
7 Sins - Includes a minigame in which twirling analog sticks take the place of a stripper's bare breasts and you have to manipulate them. I am not making this up.
7Strains: The Infectious - Christ knows, sounds awful.
The 7th Guest - Classic, CLASSIC FMV horror game with near-impossible puzzles.
7th Legion - I don't know, something about mecha?
The 7th Saga - I don't know, some JRPG probably.
7th Swarming of the Machines - You'd think we'd be used to it by now.
7 Wonders - I believe this to be some sort of match-three.
7x7 - F-forty-nine?
7 Zwerge: Das Brettspiel - No clue.
| 8088 Othello - Based on Shinya Tsukamoto's off-beat Shakespeare adaptation. Haha just kidding it's probably Othello. (If you get that reference award yourself 40 madhair points) 80 Days - I think this is a mobile game? Heard good things about it. The 80's Game With Martha Quinn - Uh... no idea but it sounds great. '89 Denno Kyusei Uranai - Something about Uranus? Quiet at the back. 8ball - A pool game I imagine. 8 Ball Pool Champion - Oh christ. 8-Bit Commando - A rather enjoyable Contra clone that's on Steam for a tuppence. 8-bit Girlfriend - I'm going to take a wild guess that this is an Xbox Live Indies game. 8bit killer - Not very good first-person shooter with 8-bit aesthetics. 8 Eyes - I feel as though this is a NES game? Later topped by 3x3 Eyes, which is Nine Eyes. 8th Wonder of the World - André the Giant simulator. 9.03m - I don't know. What is this? A measurement? Who knows. It's probably fantastic though. 9:05 - A really specific time-based videogame. 90 Minutes: European Prime Goal - Now that is a poor name for a footy game. 90 Minutes: Sega Championship Football - Nobody told Sega this title was already taken. 911 Air Rescue - Uh, I guess a game where you fly a helicopter. 911 Fire Rescue - Similar to the above but with a fire engine. And maybe a helicopter too. 911 First Responders - As above, but also with on-foot sections. 911 Paramedic - Sort of speaks for itself really. 911 Tiger Shark - "Hello, 911? THERE IS A FUCKING TIGER SHARK" 911 TS - When you call 911 and they just say "TS, we're not coming". 94 Super World Cup Chukku - Chukku? What is a Chukku? 99 Bullets - Far too many bullets, or not nearly enough. Who knows? 99 Levels to Hell - A sort of shit sidescrolling roguelike. 9 Lives - Some sort of cat-based experience. 9Squares - Rubik cube single-side? How am I supposed to know 9th Company: Roots of Terror - Some sort of frightening army-based experience. 9: The Last Resort - The film you go to see when everything else is booked up. In 2009. A-10 Attack! - Never played it but sounds exciting stuff. A-10 Cuba! - Less interesting than the above due to fewer attacks but made me hungry so 9/10. A-10 Tank Killer - Now you are fucking talking! A2 Racer - The A2 is not a huge interesting road and I am not interested in racing it. A2 Racer II - And certainly not a second time. A320 Airbus - Buses are awful, sounds shit. A7Xpg - This is meaningless drivel, I don't care. AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!!: A Reckless Disregard for Gravity - Stupid first-person falling game that thinks it's funny. AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! for the Awesome - The same again but slightly more expensive iirc AAAHH!!! Real Monsters - Somewhat decent Lost Vikings-esque platformer. AAARGH! - I don't know but I dislike being startled. Aabs Animals - Some shit with animals I expect. Fuck knows. Aa Harimanada - Sounds like some Japanese game, probably about schoolgirls, I'm not googling. Aah Impossible Rescue - If I had to enact an impossible rescue I too would say "aah". Aah Little Atlantis - Ditto if I saw a little Atlantis, or frankly any size Atlantis. Aargon - I can't believe they gave an alt-right YouTube cretin a game. Aargon Deluxe - And another one!! Aarklash: Legacy - Aarklash sounds like a 16-bit platforming aardvark with attitude. Aaron Crane: Paintings Come Alive - Jesus this sounds fucking terrifying. No Aaron's Ping Pong - What does it ultimately matter whose it is, it's ping pong. Aaron vs. Ruth: Battle of the Big Bats - Oddly staid names for a couple of whacking great chiroptera. Aaru's Awakening - Like Link's Awakening but wildly shit. Aa Yakyuu Jinsei Icchokusen - No idea, gobbledygook (is the term gobbledygook racist? This has just occurred to me). Aba Daba - Confusing Flintstones game. Abaddon - This guy was cool in Dawn of Sorrow. Abaddon: Fallen Angel - Again a cool guy but not sure he needs two full games. Abadox: The Deadly Inner War - Fucking quality shmup on NES, really hard but has that sweet aesthetic. Recommended Abala Burn - Couldn't even begin to imagine, something with fire? No idea Abalone - I WANNA HEAL, I WANNA FEEL, WHAT I THOUGHT WAS NEVER REAL, I WANNA LET GO OF THE PAIN I'VE FELT SO LONG (ERASE ALL THE PAIN TIL IT'S GONE), I WANNA HEAL, I WANNA FEEL, LIKE I'M CLOSE TO SOMETHING REAL, I WANNA FIND SOMETHING I'VE WANTED ALL ALONG, SOMEWHERE ABALONE Abandon - The only thing I abandoned was this project for nearly three years. Abandon 2 - Hopefully not, eh? Abandoned Places: A Time for Heroes - Seems like there wouldn't be much fucking point bringing heroes to an abandoned place Abandoned Well - Sounds honestly really boring. Aban Hawkins & the 1000 SPIKES - Really hard masocore platformer. Not as fun as it should be due to most deaths being from random shit you can't really avoid. Abarenbou Princess - Very tragic to hear of this barren princess. Abashera - A lot of people do but the Netflix revival is unreservedly popular. ABBA: You Can Dance - I can't, but thank you for your kind words. ABC Monday Night Football - It's football so I don't care ABC Monday Night Football '98 - Jesus christ they skipped a few there, eh ABC Sports Indy Racing - A kart racing game starring Indiana Jones. ABC Wide World Of Sports Boxing - It's not Punch Out so who cares Abenteuer im Tierpark - Absolutely no idea A Bird Story - I know a chap at work with plenty of these. A Blurred Line - Side-scrolling Robin Thicke platformer. ABM - What I need after a square meal (rimshot) Abmis the Lion - I don't know but it sounds quite good. Abobo's Big Adventure - A webgame that isn't funny. Abo Hadeed - Fuck knows A Bomb’s Way - Presumably a game about exploding Abomination: The Nemesis Project - I don't know but games with "Nemesis" in the title are a fucking crapshoot. A Boy and His Blob - Shit NES game with inscrutable puzzles. A Boy and His Blob DS - I'm pretty sure this game doesn't actually exist and now I'm wondering how many of these fucking things are made up Abra Academy - Like Big Brain Academy but with a specific pokémon. Abra Academy: Returning Cast - The same game but they accidentally printed the credits on the box. Abrams Battle Tank - Some shit tank game A Brief Tryst - As if there's any other kind of tryst. Abronium Party - Bronium is the manliest of all metals. Absolute - Asse raus! - Absolute assrot Absolute: Blazing Infinity - Sounds quality but I don't know Absolute Blue - What happens when I put 2,000 flushes in the toilet. Absolute Canasta - Some sort of card game? I don't have a clue Absolute Doppelkopf - A game about a clone of a German idiot. Absolute Duo - Two units go to war. Absolute Force Online - Me arguing about Sonic CD on Talking Time. Absolute Kreuzwortrôtsel - Fuck knows Absolute Mahjongg - The definitive mahjongg game presumably. Absolute Pinball - Ditto pinball Absolute Poker - Ditto poker Absolute Romme - A defunct French emulation site. Absolute Schafkopf - Fuck knows Absolute Skat - A defunct German porn site. Absolute Solitaire & Patience - You bloody need patience doing this sodding list I can tell you. Absolute Sudoku - A very good puzzle game and insult. Absolute Zero - The rating I give every game so far. Abstacked - A misspelling of "abstract". Unless it's an abstract spelling OF "abstract"? Games truly are art. A Bug's Life - Shit 3D platformer with the slowest camera ever and Flik never shuts the fuck up. Abuse - Superior kb&m based side-scroller that's legit terrifying with the jump scares. A Business Tycoon - Boring management game. Abyss - The final boss of MvsC2 gets his own spin-off! Abyss Odyssey - Crap roguelite waste of time. Abyss: The Wraiths of Eden - Ugh I dunno but sounds overwrought doesn't it Abzu - Game where you go for a lovely swim. AC-130: Operation Devastation - Academagia: The Making of Mages - They probably thought that name was really clever when they came up with it. Academy of Champions: Soccer - I was quite excited for this one until the word "soccer". Academy: Tau Ceti II - Absolutely clueless on this one. I've played Japanese games where schoolgirls yell something that sounds like "Tau ceti!!" so I assume this is a schoolgirl game. Accele Brid - These aren't real words and I'm not having it. Acceleration of SUGURI - Whoever Suguri is, they're moving at some kind of speed. Acceleration Of SUGURI 2 - And a second time. Accel World: Ginyoku no Kakusei - Game I haven't played based on anime I haven't seen due to having watched the anime's OP and going "ah, no". Accel World: Kasoku no Choten - Ditto _Access - Confusing game of hangman Accordion - The best rhythm action game of all time, presumably. AC/DC Live: Rock Band - Now you too can play all the great AC/DC songs! Such as [doesn't exist] and [fucking nothing] ACE 2 - America's favourite asexual couple 
ACE: Air Combat Emulator - Like Kega Fusion but for planes. Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth - Decent detecting game starring the fittest of the Ace Attorney characters, Prosecutor Edgeworth. Aceball - I hate it when games try to review themselves. Wait! No I don't! It saves me having to do this! Ace Combat 04: Shattered Skies - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat 2 - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat 3: Electrosphere - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat Advance - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat Assault Horizon - One of the many identical Ace Combat games, but not a proper one. Ace Combat: Assault Horizon Legacy - One of the many identical Ace Combat games, but not a proper one. Ace Combat: Assault Horizon Legacy+ - One of the many identical Ace Combat games, but not a proper one. Ace Combat Infinity - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat: Joint Assault - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat Xi: Skies of Incursion - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat X: Skies of Deception - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War - One of the many identical Ace Combat games. Ace Gals Tennis - A tennis game for asexual women. Ace Lightning - Atrocious game based on atrocious CGI cartoon that used to be on BBC1. Ace of Aces - Awful Master System flight sim. Ace of Spades - A really weirdly easy card game where you only use a single card. Ace o Nerae! - Schoolgirls probably. ACE Online - MMO for asexuals. Aces High - Asexuals smoking weed in their dorm. Aces of the Air - Asexuals who can fly. Aces of the Deep - Asexuals who can swim. Aces of the Deep Expansion Disk - Asexuals who can swim, but more of them. Aces of the Galaxy - Asexuals from other planets. Aces of the Luftwaffe - Asexuals who are Nazis. A rare combination. Aces of the Pacific - Asexuals who live on, like, a boat. Aces Over Europe - Asexuals who - look, you get it. The same joke. I'm not having a go at the asexuals, so don't fucking start. You try and review 43,000 games without leaning on some tropes. Aces Wild - Absolutely brilliant, mind-bendingly difficult brawling game with Big Treasure Energy. Ace Ventura - Not very good 7th Level point and click adventure based on the transphobic hit movie. Ace Ventura Pet Detective: The Case of the Serial Shaver - I don't know this game but I'm going to take a guess that it's a sequel of some sort. Achaea, Dreams of Divine Lands - I bet these "divine lands" include underage anime girls bathing in an onsen. Acheton - The prequel to the webcomic Achewood. A Christmas Carol - Game version of extremely non-game-friendly Dickens novella. Let me guess, you have to collect 50 Tiny Tims on each level. Let me guess, it's by Vicarious Visions. Achron - Game that seems like it might be a typo. Achtung Panzer: Kharkov 1943 - Tank shit for nerds. Don't care Achtung Panzer: Operation Star - You know what was good? Operation StarFISH. On Mega Drive. When can I review that? (Checks) Oh christ Achtung Spitfire - A thespian warplane hahahahahaha. Acid Tetris - Tetris except it is absolutely fucking mad for it. A City Sleeps - Boring game in which clearly nothing much happens. Ack-Ack Attack! - Some sort of Bill the Cat game? I don't know. ACME Animation Factory - Terrible, barely-functional animation tool I'm not sure why they bothered releasing. Acne Attack - A documentary game about my teenage years. A Collection of Activision Classic Games for the Atari 2600 - Well, whatever's on here, the Activision 2600 library is absolutely fucking superb so this is defo good. 10/10 A Collection of Intellivision Classic Games - Conversely, there is not one single good Intellivision game. Aconcagua - I don't even know where to start. A Crimson Spring - Finally one of the red springs from Sonic 2 gets its own game. Acrobat Mission - I don't want to hear about any fucking acrobats unless they're called Aero. Acrophobia - Man, I don't fucking know. I'm starting to regret bringing this back. Acropolis - I don't want to hear about any fucking opolis unless it starts with necr. Across Age - Everyone is very angry these days, yes. Across the Rhine - A game about some people on a boat. I cannot confirm whether or not they are asexual. Acter World - Hollywood! Action 52 - Legendarily awful compilation for NES and Mega Drive, but we did get the Cheetahmen music out of it. Action Arcade Wrestling - No doubt including such luminaries as Bulk Bogan, Racho San Mandy Mavage and Flic Rair. Action Arcade Wrestling 2 - The Region of Darn, Psycho Sylv, Steven Michaels, The Large Boss Bloke, etc etc et fucking cetera Action Ball - Every night, baby Action Bass - Mega Man spin-off starring the eternally crap Bass Action Fighter - Excellent Sega Master System Spy Hunter rip-off that turns into a 1942 rip-off. Genuinely really terrific fun even today. Action Fist - Really oddly compelling side-scrolling fighter from Adult Swim. Seems crap and is a bit crap honestly, but develops really interestingly as you play. Action Girlz Racing - Condescending game for children. Action Henk - The ugliest main character in gaming history to the point that he's genuinely difficult to look at. Action Hero - Prequel to popular Schwarzenegger flop. Action in The North Atlantic - Weirdly specific action game. Action Man: Arctic Adventure - Crap toy for stupid kids gets a bit chilly. Action Man: Destruction X - Crap toy for stupid kids in indeterminate adventure. Action Man: Jungle Storm - Crap toy for stupid kids goes to the jungle. Action Man: Operation Extreme - Jesus they just keep coming. If this is the PS1 game this is actually alright. Action Man: Raid on Island X - UGH STOP Action Man: Robot Atak - PLEASE Action Pachio - Interesting cross between Sonic and Dizzy the Egg. Absolutely terrible mind. Action Soccer - Some sort of probably fine footy game. Action Stations! - !!! Oh, it's another game to review. Got all excited then. Action-Strategy Baseball - I don't understand why people like baseball. Active Health with Carol Vorderman - At the risk of sounding boorish, there's only one thing I'd want to be active with Carol Vorderman. You guessed it - my mind. Active Life: Athletic World - A game where you have to be active I guess? Active Life Explorer - Be active, but also explore. Active Life: Extreme Challenge - Be active, but also you have to eat slugs and dogshit like in Fear Factor or something. Active Life: Magical Carnival - Hang on now, not sure we're still within the remit of the Active Life series, here. Active Life: Outdoor Challenge - There we go, back on form. Active Worlds - Active Life goes MMO. Probably. The fuck should I know Activision Anthology - One of the best retro compilations ever. Includes a load of great eighties tracks to play over the games (Twisted Sister! Soft Cell! A-Ha!), and there's a fag smoke filter to create the illusion you are really smoking a fag. Bliss. Activision Anthology: Remix Edition - Not familiar with this specific edition but it's definitely good. Activision Hits Remixed - The PSP version and just as superb. Activision's Atari 2600 Action Pack - Dunno, but defo good. Activision's Atari 2600 Action Pack 2 - Dunno, but defo good. Activision's Atari 2600 Action Pack 3 - Dunno, but defo good. Act of Aggression - You lot not replying to this fucking thread after I bust my arse reviewing games for you. Act of War: Direct Action - This sounds like something I would make up. Act of War: High Treason - Woof, that really is an act of war. I'd be angry. ActRaiser - Bloody brilliant hybrid action/strategy SNES classic that should have been on the Mini SNES. One of the best 16-bit games I've ever played. ActRaiser 2 - SHIT POINT-MISSING SEQUEL THAT TOOK OUT THE CITY BUILDING STUFF ARRRRRRGH WHY WHY WHY Actua Golf - A golf game that isn't Neo Turf Masters. Actua Golf 2 - Therefore, not worthy of comment. Actua Golf 3 - (Fart noise) Actua Ice Hockey - This was meant to be called Actual Ice Hockey but they made a typo. Actua Ice Hockey 2 - Somehow the same typo despite the printer's assurances. Actual Sunlight - "Go out and get some actual sunlight" will be a parent's lament of the past with this new game for wisenheimers. Actua Pool - That's pool like, with balls. Not like swimming. Though balls are often involved in my (removed on legal advice) Actua Soccer - A soccer game I have nothing to say about. Actua Soccer 2 - Nor do I have anything to say about the sequel. Actua Soccer 3 - Oh but this one, ho ho, I could tell you some no I couldn't I don't know. I was pretending Actua Soccer Club Edition - "Shit, we forgot to put clubs in the other three!" Actua Tennis - UGH A Cure for the Common Cold - Oh so it's been in a videogame this whole time, great.
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