I have a confession to make, I am deeply ashamed about it but I feel like you all need to know

[Kazin]

You know that red sauce/salsa/whatever they sell at Chipotle? What they call the hottest they have? That stuff is like fucking crack to me. I've ordered entire meals for me and my wife just to get at that sweet, sweet slightly firey sauce. I crave it, no joke. Like, the thread title is a joke, I'm not really ashamed about it, but fucking hell do I love that red shit. I want to make a giant batch of it myself and just gorge myself on it until I puke. I love it. I know this is a weird thread but I want some right now and I just had some two days ago and I can't justify ordering it again. Fucking hell why isn't it sold in stores. I don't know where to get New Mexico Red Hatch Chiles in fucking Michigan. Shit

 

[RT-55J]

are you thinking of the pico de gallo, or something else?

 

[Kazin]

No, the red stuff. It's basically just liquid. This:

 

[RT-55J]

If it's any consolation, I want that stuff too.

 

[Kazin]

It is a cool balm for my soul, similar to a drink of water after eating a tub full of this stuff

 

[YangusKhan]

I can't handle that salsa, which is too bad because its flavor profile is aces, but it always gives me some pretty gnarly... gastro-intestinal issues. So I get their pico and verde salsa now.

 

[Issun]

That does look pretty good. I've never had Chipotle but now I really want some.

 

[Kazin]

I can't handle that salsa, which is too bad because its flavor profile is aces, but it always gives me some pretty gnarly... gastro-intestinal issues. So I get their pico and verde salsa now.

Yeah, if anyone here suffers from heartburn, stay away from this stuff. And yeah... I once had this like three times in a week and, uh, bathroom time was not a good time

That does look pretty good. I've never had Chipotle but now I really want some.

It's annoyingly good. The rest of their food is pretty average if I'm honest (I'm a vegetarian, though, so I have no idea if any of their meat is any good), but their chips aren't bad and the red salsa stuff rulesssss

 

[Issun]

It's annoyingly good. The rest of their food is pretty average if I'm honest (I'm a vegetarian, though, so I have no idea if any of their meat is any good), but their chips aren't bad and the red salsa stuff rulesssss

Seattle ain't California or Texas, but there's still enough killer Mexican food around that there's not a super compelling reason to go to Chipotle. Until now, that is.

 

[Kazin]

I mean the actual Mexican food is undoubtedly better, I just really like this salsa specifically haha

 

[Falselogic]

Good news! Copycat recipes exist! And salsa is an easy thing to make.

 

[Kazin]

Quoting the ingredients and instructions here because recipe websites are awful to navigate (but thanks, Falselogic!):

Ingredients

10 tomatillos
8 Cloves garlic
1 jalapeño
3 chili peppers red
2 Tablespoon ancho chili powder
2 Tablespoon chipotle peppers in adobo
1 Tablespoon Tabasco sauce
1 Tablespoon white vinegar
2 limes juiced
1 Can Rotel 10oz, I used these tomatoes and green chiles
2 Teaspoon cumin
1 Teaspoon black pepper fresh cracked
½ Teaspoon salt
1 Bunch cilantro

Instructions

-Preheat a cast iron skillet over medium high heat
-Remove husks from tomatillos. Cut in half. Cut the jalapeño and red chili peppers in half and remove the seeds.
-Add olive oil to the pan to coat the bottom and place the tomatillos and jalapeño slices cut side up. Season lightly with a pinch of salt and pepper and cook for 8 to 9 minutes to lightly brown. Juice 1 lime over them and add the crushed garlic, tomatoes and green chiles, and chipotle peppers. Continue cooking for 4 minutes.
-Remove from heat and add to a food processor or blender with remaining ingredients. Pulse for 30 seconds to break apart. *per your desired consistency*

Because I will attempt this, as soon as I find out where to get some of this stuff

 

[Falselogic]

I don't know where you are located but the only one that might prove difficult is sourcing the tomatillos. Almost everything else can probably be found in the 'ethnic' aisle of a mid to high end grocery store.

 

[Paul le Fou]

I haven't had chipotle in years, but damn, I'm feeling like I might have to change that soon.

I'd get the verde and/or corn, though.

 

[Kazin]

I've had Chipotle three times since starting this thread, which *checks notes* was 11 days ago. I'm such a dumbass lol

 

[YangusKhan]

Oh oh oh! So because of this thread I tried the hot salsa again for the first time in years. It still gave me Problems, but it wasn't as bad as I expected. Still not getting it regularly though, lol

 

[Falselogic]

I kinda want chipotle now, too.

 

[muteKi]

I don't go to chipotle. Were there any places you remember having a similar flavor to that salsa?

 

[Kazin]

If there was, I'd go there, but I'm not aware of anything that tastes the same, either from a restaurant or from a store (though I've yet to try to make it at home myself).

 

[Kirin]

There‘s a southeast chain called Tijuana Flats (I think? I only see it on road trips) that’s has a whole bar of salsa options, I wonder if any of them are close. When I go I’m usually tempted by the more esoteric options so I couldn’t say for sure.

 

[Daikaiju]

I understand you.

I want a bottle of DQ's Flamethrower sauce... so much

 

[Falselogic]

I understand you.

I want a bottle of DQ's Flamethrower sauce... so much

Good news!

 

[Kazin]

Oh no, I think I'm going to order it again for lunch today

EDIT: i ordered it

 

[Kazin]

I don't want to talk about how many times I've ordered Chipotle since making this thread (too fucking many), but I do want to talk about this:

https://twitter.com/x/status/1539623953614127104

Loving seeing all these people unionize!

 

[Exposition Owl]

¡Chipotle unido
jamás será vencido!
(excepto por otros restaurantes mexicanos mejores)

 

[Kazin]

Fuck Chipotle and their delicious god damned red sauce:

https://twitter.com/x/status/1549419617021374464

 

[Falselogic]

No more Chipotle for me.

 

[Kazin]

yep, same. fucking sucks

 

[Daikaiju]

Ditto... Unless a store near me unionizes.